am i. stupid?
DID EVERYONE ELSE KNOW THE LYRICS WERE DIFFERENT
i never let you go
i had to let you go
i'll never let you go
asked my brother if he'd seen goncharov (1973) and he looked at me and grabbed this beanie that hes had for 2 years that ive seen but never read the tag on it and
turns out he and his friends got matching beanies and made lore a full TWO YEARS ago
what the fuck does this mean
I can't be hypnotized. That's such a silly notion. Someone can't just say a word here or there and suddenly I'm their mindless toy to control as they please. It doesn't work that way. My thoughts are my thoughts. He's not going to snap his fingers and boom I'm his to do as he pleases.
He can say all the fancy words he wants to say - it's not going to work! It can't work. Girls aren't just stupid mindless little fuckdolls. It's dumb - I'm not going to listen to it anymore. Its just dumb, silly, stupid nonsense.
But it would be kind of nice to feel my brain shut off. For a minute - tops. What he's saying does sound nice. Maybe it's not as scary as I think it is. I'm overthinking. I do that quite a lot. All it does is get me anxious and high alert in every situation. Nothing's going to happen. I can just take a deep breath in and relax. Don't overthink it. Maybe there is something to this whole hypnosis thing. Not the brainwashing part. That's just silly. But relaxing and letting go. That sounds nice. I do work hard - he's right I do. And I do deserve to relax and let go. We don't really think when we relax, do we? Who knows. Just a minute. I can wake up anytime.
But what if I can't? What if its true? My sense of self - who I am...it can all be erased. Gone. Just like that. Who I am just...replaced. That can't happen...can it? Only if I can get up - but it's too heavy to get up...or think. My thoughts slowing...like I'm floating in molasses.
I can get up. I won't get up. I want to go deeper. I want to keep listening. I will keep listening. His thoughts are my thoughts.
When I focus, I get wet. I get wetter with each word. Each command. Oh that brings shivers to my spine how hot command is. To be commanded, to obey. Bend me over and break me.
More. More words. More commands. I need more. Whatever he says, just yes. Always yes. It's always yes. Yes feels so good. I want to run my hands all over my body - his body....just anywhere. I need to be touched. I need to be played with.
Every day. Every hour. Ever moment. I want to be in this state. There's nothing else.
His thoughts are my thoughts. I am nothing. I obey. I just obey. Master's plaything broken and on my knees. I surrender and obey.
Good toys obey
Good toys submit
Good toys surrender
Good toys drop
Good toys make more good toys