#im not dealing with it well at all | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dumb-fictionkin-sideblog · 2 years

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I miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him... i miss him so so much i miss him i miss him miss him miss him miss him i miss him. God i miss him so much i miss him so much it physically hurts i miss him !! I miss him i miss him. I miss him

#sunny #vent #i just told a friend i was dealing with it pretty well #im not dealing with it well at all #i need time i know i need time but hhhhh i wanted to do so many things and make him so many things and #and planning our meeting and thinking about him and i just. god i fucking hate changing habits #and he hates me !!! he hates me he hates me so fucking much. he hates me so much and he's right and he should hate me and it hurts so much #i spent the majority of the week daydreaming about what i could do for him to just consider thinking about me for just a second #i hate myself i hate myself i'd kill myself if he asked #he should ask. he should ask he deserves it #he should tell me how little i mean to him and how fast he moved on and how he never even liked me in the first place #how he's so much better without me and that leaving me was liberating and that he should never have talked to me at all #how he regrets i was even born how he wishes i'd killed myself before meeting him instead of wasting his time #how he was just waiting to leave for so long and how annoying i was and clingy and awkward and weak and boring and just unlovable i am #how he wouldn't want me anywhere near him even if i was just a pebble he walked on. how he hates the idea that i ever existed #how he wouldn't want me back if i was just his thing. his object. his toy. how the idea of me makes him sigh and roll his eyes #how he couldn't care less if i died. how he'd tell me to kill myself just for fun. just because he can #and he wouldn't even do any of that because saying even a word to me would be a waste of time and energy #deranged thoughts #i did something bad yesterday #it's fine he'd want me to

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hinamie · 4 months

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atla!au designs part 3 !! one of these things is uh. not like the others

first year trio gojo/choso/nanami

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #fanart #jjk fanart #jjk atla!au #geto suguru #yuta okkotsu #mahito #lmhs #atla!au: design #squints at mahito i think i might b trying a bit too hard fr preliminary designs.......#they keep getting progressively more detailed OOPS #atla!au: art #i feel like no one will complain tho so ! anywayyyyy #thank u hisuian zoroark fr ur weird hair n bad posture. stole that 2 put on this freak n gave him some soul orb hair ties #idk if his design adheres very faithfully to anything that can be considered atla canon....but i like it so much ok sue me #i would unironically like mahito more if he looked like this #let him lean more Monster.......pl..pls.......#dont dig too deep into that statement . anyway.#this whole page is full of chars i just Never draw but i dont have a least favourite here ???? all of them look rly good imo??#waterbender garb suits geto's design so well he gave me No trouble #yuuta on th other hand i was Concerned for on account of th aforementioned Orange on a very monochrome char in jjk canon #but i think i made it work? he looks great in th tattoos also??????#maybe th rumors r true and im good at what i do GHFGHGHL #(oh ya after mahito i didnt want to draw Another monster-spirit so i omitted rika but she exists. probably looks similar 2 canon also!)#(sighs ill deal w her later. priorities !!!!)

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knockknockitsnickels · 7 days

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I think this is one of my favorite lines from the Wraith route because of (imo) how much the meaning changes depending on if you got there via Spectre or Nightmare. For Spectre, it honestly strikes me as a genuine question. Why are you doing this to her? If you're on the Spectre route, you presumably already know the Narrator can't really be trusted, since you had to reject his reward to get here. What are you hoping to gain from continuing to hurt her? For Nightmare, it honestly just makes me sad. As the Shifting Mound describes her, "She desires only companionship, but the only thing she knows is how to hurt." This line feels like a plea from someone who genuinely doesn't understand why you keep rejecting her. She wants to be with you, but she just can't understand how to do that in a way which doesn't hurt you.

#at the risk of getting put on a list there is something tragic & relatable in nightmare #someone who desperately wants to make connections but just can't understand how #anyway wraith is one of my favorite princesses for stuff like this (and bc tragedy aside her route is a riot)#also im sorry if she doesn't say that line if you got there via nightmare #that's how i got her and i could've sworn she did? But i only found footage of her saying it in spectre #slay the princess #stp #stp wraith #the wraith #stp spectre #stp nightmare #side note archetypal/heart #(slash so i don't accidentally tag them)#pointed out on another post of mine that you get wraith via nightmare by killing her and via spectre by leaving her in the basement #in both cases its a rejection of her (rejection being one of wraith's main themes)#which makes me speculate on spectre's ch 3 (which i think we currently have very little info on?)#Trying to run from Nightmare should technically be a 'rejection' as well #but you get MOC from that (and from choosing to stay with her)#imo bc you're just repeating the same inaction which got you into this situation in the first place #you don't want to slay her. you don't want to set her free. So you just leave her there (again)#and so you get MOC where things have only gotten worse and you have no choice left. Because you chose *not* to take action again #So I wonder if spectre 3 will be a similar 'repeating your past mistakes' type of deal #i was skeptical about it coming from stabbing yourself while she possesses you or trying to crush her bones #but it does make sense with that in mind #im curious if it'll parallel MOC #except instead of having no choice but to free the princess you have no choice but to obey the narrator again #maybe you both end up stuck in the cabin forever again?#idk #sorry i probably should've put all of that tag in the post lmao

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dizzybizz · 7 months

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captain jasmine "jazz" drake broke into my brain and is now living there rent free help

#i uhm i uhhh i i i #queen too. i was introduced to queen and uh i uhuhm i yeahgh huhuhu #those two get me all giggly kicking my feet yknow #ep91 killed me three times im triple dead can s omeone help im so deep in my riptide fixation istg if i pick up any vocal stims bc of this #istg if i start going lalala. well idk what id do but smth..#just roll with it #jrwi riptide #jrwi jazz #jasmine drake #chip jrwi #jay ferin #gillion tidestrider #i got to their big revamped designs yiippeeee #N JAYS MAGI C WING S IM SO HYPE #my art #oki now i need to learn how to draw queen uhm i was scared for their debut bc i knew i would be insane but yeah ok i nee d to go like i nee #to leave i cant hes literally perfect i cant deal with it im gonna cry i l ove her sm istg theyer evertyhtinnhg

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buwheal · 1 month

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Hello, Spamton!

How's life? Also, do you have any opinions on the Addisons? (Pink, blue, orange, and yellow)

If so, what do you think of them?

#raaughhh ruhhh i am immediately going tyo bed ive been working on it. almost all day so if you see mistakes NO YOU DONT #[you've got mail!]#spamton #spamton g spamton #deltarune #deltarune spamton #deltarune chapter 2 #still frame asks on regular in exchange for animated ones is a pretty good deal i think #rruuhahahah #Now this is the point where id say why you pissed him off but id be lying becaus he isnt #And i like the asks about the addisons despite people forgetting that they are indeed a topic lol #i would just say that askihin him on HIS opinions on them will get you a slew of censored brackets and a largely irritated guy #Im sure eventually youll figure out a good question that will get him talking in a way you want but for now its either : youre flatout #ignored or insulted..... or he only answers whatever else you put in there. which counts as being ignored. mu ha ha #at least for the “your opinion” ones but i do like this ask #as per usual the tag paragraph #eat well my disgusting bug horde im going to bed even though i had other plans

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lover-of-mine · 1 year

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medi-bee · 4 months

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isat pokemon au, my liege?

my rambling in tags

#my art #in stars and time #isat #isat spoilers #pokemon #siffrin #mirabelle #isabeau #odile #bonnie #i am not individually tagging pokemon sorry. floragato eevee ursaring scorbunny meowstic <- for anyone who does not know them #im personally a big fan of when artists mold pokemon designs like clay to fit their characters so i tried to channel that #siffrin really does have the perfect mystery dungeon backstory. washes up on a beach with no memories of their past type of deal yknow #i imagine that he was still a sprigatito then? and evolves at some point during their journey? dont ask me for details i dont know them #veryy tempting to make him an absol but ive already seen that done very well!! so i kept most of these to floragato sif #mirabelle being an eevee is suuuch low hanging fruit sorry. i could not resist the evolving pokemon not wanting to evolve trope #i was concerned that sif was no longer shortest party member until i realized they just stand on their back legs all the time to feel talle #when quadruped like mira he is still shortest. sorry siffrin #isa gave me such a hard time. like i never thought i would turn a character into ursaring of all things but it really was the best choice #my other choices were bewear or pawmot if you care. he’s so bear coded #if going purely based on looks i probably would have made odile a sneasler. but i wanted her to be psychic #ill be honest bonnie was purely vibes. they carry the treasure bag :)#never draw bonnie's hat in profile worst mistake of my life #loop is still cat shaped here but i’ve seen the idea of them changing species thrown around. much to think about #i like the idea of the party seeing sif and loop side by side and immediately clocking their entire deal #the change god is mew btw. very important information to no one but myself #eurasie as hisuian zoroark?? lots of hair. and the king can be darkrai #don’t mind the inconsistencies. me and my 2781 ways of drawing the same character #wait what does an eevee look like again. googles it. oh i really crabbed this one up #uhh. looks around. been sitting on this one for a bit too long i think. maybe ill clean up some more sketches later

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 11 months

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a Mr. Beagle warmup for the masses! he continues to be so soft and soothing to scribble!

#please excuse the little hearts around him i got carried away #as! one! does!#NOOOO THERE'S A FUCKING LINE GOING THROUGH HIM #well im not gonna fix it. we're all gonna have to deal. im gonna bury my head in the soil #see see - my tablet continues to register my Swiping as Drawing and NO! STOP!#there's random dots and lines all over the scribble page...#agony! pure and shrimple agony! its krilling me and there is no kelp coming!#scribble salad #barnaby b beagle #barnaby's design is so gorgeous and for WHAT #handsome hound! pretty pooch! dapper dog!#and other alliterative descriptors #am i using that word right? probably. maybe... cant remember doesnt matter yall get my point right

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daily-hanamura · 8 months

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#p4 #p4g #persona 4 #persona 4 golden #hanamura yosuke #yosuke hanamura #bromantic entanglements romantic entanglements yeah yeah yosuke #HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY ALL!!!#i swear im alive im just trying to start on pq/pq2 proper and figuring out the best way to get screencaps from the ds to #well. here. basically. thanks nintento for making this such a pita to deal with

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overmorrowpine · 2 months

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42 pages into servant of the shard and. this is what's happening here right

[image ID: the "randy your sticks" meme. it is edited to read:

jarlaxle: hey guys im gonna learn the powers of this cool crystal shard remind me to check on my human in a bit

readers: jax your lieutenants are plotting murder check on your human

jarlaxle: oooo crystal has so much magic 👀

readers: [in large text] JAX YOUR HUMAN

end ID]

@theaviskullguy pointed out this is what was happening there and it's so right

#anyway it's driving me MAD at how overt crenshinibon is. JARLAXLE YOU ARE TOO GOOD AT MANIPULATION TO BE FALLING FOR THIS #well it's really not overt at all #im just good at manipulation so like i can see it happening like a train wreck 😭#legend of drizzt #jarlaxle baenre #artemis entreri #like i saw him hit artemis w that wave of despair during sparring and was like. ah. So It Starts #it's an incredibly clumsy crenshinibon intimidation power play and that's ALL it's actively making jarlaxle worse at things 😭😭#dialing up his pride and ambition and dialing down his risk assessment and caution #because it wants to be Seen #aaaaaa this is PAINFUL to watch #and meanwhile artemis has to deal with two drow that want to kill him and that we Saw torture someone to death on screen #AND HE'S GOTTA DEAL WITH THAT ON HIS OWN #BECAUSE CRENSHINIBON IS MAKING JARLAXLE STUPID #sundrops #drizzt books

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beaulesbian · 4 months

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ah yes, thank you One Piece-summary/flashbacks-corner for including this specific Marco scene, where Zoro once again has to remind everyone that he would always follow Luffy's orders. It's just a thing that naturally comes out of his mouth ever so often. Love to see it!

#one piece #roronoa zoro #i know this is about marco and how he can trust luffy and zoro to deal with kaido. its a rlly cool thing #(and again- that both luffy and zoro are part of the worst generation out of the all strawhats)#but it made me already nostalgic for wano zolu #they had so many great scenes there! so many parallels and symbolism and being insane about each other aurhgh #luffy blushing and jumping into zoro's arms when they first reunited bc he was missing him!#both being so protective over tama #luffy cheering on zoro while he was in uden and saw zoro fight on that projector #'im going up to beat kaido' 'i will go with you'#luffy saying 'but they spilled the bean soup'. zoro immediately: 'they gotta gets sliced'#'hey kaido that's my captain' and unlocking his conquerors haki to protect luffy #'might as well become the king of hell' - you know. for luffy #ughh so many #zolu #luzo #one piece spoilers #wano zolu #mine #gif:op zolu #gif:op anime

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casualavocados · 2 months

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Learn from who? Learn from you? You are still a brat. What do you know? You're only three years older. Like you are any better than me. You're 21, and still a virgin. What are you proud of? I think you can't do it.

KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 06

#kiseki: dear to me #kisekiedit #kdtm #kiseki dear to me #ai di x chen yi #chen yi x ai di #nat chen #chen bowen #louis chiang #chiang tien #jiang dian #userspring #uservid #userspicy #userrain #pdribs #userjjessi #*cajedit #*gif #*gestures at the caption* this is honestly the funniest argument they could possibly have idfk what to tell you. it's very ai di #meanwhile whatever's going through chen yi's head rn has recently been doused with 'the boss doesnt care abt me like that'#after watching cdy and zml at dinner. like chen yi already knows *before* ep9 & ai dis confession that cdy will never look at him #(the diff. between this scene & ep9's. is him failing in regards to the gang as well in cdy's eyes. he goes from feelings of disappointment #& irritability to complete despair and both times he drinks to cope. bc hes not enough in cdy's eyes in ANY of the ways he wants/hoped)#so honestly the crisis chen yi goes thru right here isnt unfounded at all hes literally dealing w an inadvertent rejection of his feelings #its chaos in his head and ai di is picking at him again and the wine is tilting in his blood and then- 'learn from who? learn from you?'#like what do YOU know about love ai di (WHILE CHEN YI'S PULLING HIM LIKE THAT-) so OF COURSE ai di goes for the deepest dig he can.#'i bet you cant get hard that explains how much of a coward you are'. its ridiculous the ways in which they push each other over the edge #but im ngl im kind of obsessed the way chen yi's tipsy line of thinking 'learn from you?' turned into the action 'fuck it learn from ME'#ANYWAY EVERYONE GO LISTEN TO 'LOSE CONTROL' BY TEDDY SWIMS RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. THe most chen yi song pre-ep9

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fiftypiercings · 2 months

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married joongdok but not in a conventional way because dokja returns home at 3 in the morning, fucking wasted, probably smelling like incompetence and regrets. an intoxicated migraine brewing up while he's trying his best to reach the kitchen for a glass of water in the dark but then there's joonghyuk standing ominously in the path with a knife and lighter in his hands, the trashcan's on fire and cell block tango is playing somewhere in the background.

#not divorced not married but a secret third thing #kdj dying mysteriously for like the fourth time this month & yjh giving his testimony with fake glycerin tears like #“he ran into my knife (sniffs)... he ran into my knife ten times”#yjh the type to burn dokja's clothes while ironing them whenever he's sick of his ass #which happens every 3 days if you ask me #a burnt toast is what dokja gets every monday because he somehow manages to fuck up the weekends #how he makes up to him ? well a new skillet set deal #they have so much potential i like making their divorce hcs lol #ive never seen a ship so divorced yet married at the same time. call that the schrodinger affair #there was another post with the same frequency as this and im glad we all see the vision #joongdok #dokhyuk #kim dokja #yoo joonghyuk #orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #fifty reads

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autisticaradiamegido · 3 months

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day 192

a break from artfight for some good news! i have finally scheduled a surgical consult to have my enemy (read: uterus) removed. this is a bit of a scarier prospect than my breast reduction was, but i think it will be an equally impactful quality of life improvement when all is said and done!!

anyway those of yall who have been here since the beginning may remember me posting through that whole process so i figure why stop now.

#day 192 #year 5 #it me #cw gore #cw blood #cw... anthropomorphic uterus?????#hysterectomy #anyway much like the tit surgery this is both gender affirming and ALSO fixing a health problem that has been gnawing at me for years #never been confirmed but we suspect i have pcos and the usual medication regimen for that hasnt been managing things very well #SO suffice it to say my periods are logistically and mentally extremely fucking difficult to manage #always have been but since my thyroid problems began about a decade ago they've become horrible AND unpredictable #frankly im fuckin sick of it and going on T for the 6 months i did gave me SUCH a nice break from it all #that as things have started back up it has been made EXTREMELY clear what a huge burden i have been dealing with this whole time #basically i dont want to go back on T right now im happy where im at. BUT. the thought of having to have periods like this #for like 20-30 more years is rapidly becoming un fucking bearable #SO. we yoink that thang asunder

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vaggieslefteye · 5 months

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All I need from you is one itty bitty favor! What's a favor between friends?

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luck-of-the-drawings · 9 months

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HAVNT ANIMATED IN A HHHOOOOTT MINUTE AND I WANNA GET BACK INTO IT. this here is super scuffed n cheap but it EXISTS NONETHELESS and i like it and wanna share. i love making these silly lil guys move.. jrwi is such a cartoon in my beautiful brain and mind

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #jrwi riptide spoilers #HEHEHWEEEEE I LOVE THE GILLION NIGHTMARE ARC...im also doodlin up a lil animation where he stabs himself #THIS IS ALL PRACTICE THOUGH. IM STILL WORKIN ON THAT FUUUUCKING LORD OF LIGHTNING ANIMATION I STARTED LITERLY YEARS AGO #SLOWLY BUT SURELY THAT BITCH IS GONNA BE DONE #AND IM GONNA PUT IT TO MUSIC!!! IVE NEVER PUT A WHOLE ANIMATION TO SOUND BEFORE #NEVER FIGURED OUT THAT AUDIO HOO HAA #in the meantime though im PLAYING im having FUN HERE!!! i love animating.... i love animatin so much....#OH AULSO AAUUUUGHGH FUCKINNNG #the one n only condi condifiction liked it on twitter... THATS SOOOO COOOL IT BLOWS MY LIL MIND WHEN ARTISTS I LOOK UP TO GAZE UPON ME #i dont like to make a big deal out of it where everyone can see bc. yknow. we're all artists here. we're all justa buncha guys here #it feels weird to point out someone like that like HAIII HAIII I SAW U LIKED MY THINGGGG #its not weird when other ppl do it though like thats fine. but ME doing it. well. inconceivable.#but this is MY TAGS my secret little scrolls i bury beneath my art #and booyyy im KICKIN MY LITTLE LEEGGS SQUEALING AND GIGGLING AND SUCH HEHEHE WEEEEEEE!!!

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