#im not denying the issues men face

[divinesolas]

Deja vu Pt. 2

Summary: You have successfully secured your marriage with aemond. But what of his reaction? what of what your family will think? Secrets are spilled, feelings are all mixed up and you are thrown into the future that you now have no clue what will happen, what will happen will only be what you make of it.

w.c: 10k

c.w: spoilers for the future of hotd mentioned, a lot of feelings, father daemon, and some smut. not proofread

a.n: sorry this took forever pls let me know what you guys think!! <3

taglist: @venmondiese @a-mexican-waffle @alwaysholymilkshake @seabasscevans @darylandbethfanforever9 @chloe-skywalker @m-riaa (if i missed anyone im sorry)

part one part three masterlist - requests are open

It takes you awhile to stand up. You sort of just sit there for a while, unable to believe what has just happened.

He had touched you.

He had kissed you.

One of your hands shakily comes up and touches your bruised lips, allowing yourself to get some semblance. It had been real, if the slick that sticks to your thighs and the pulsing ache between your legs was not enough.

Your legs wobble as you try to stand, you actually end up falling back onto the bench before you successfully stand and slowly make your way back to your room. Your mind is a muck. You can’t think. Not right now. Hopefully not ever. You don't want to think about anything. Not about what had just happened. Not about the dinner that will occur later. Not about Him. Nothing at all.

You will nap before dinner, a part of you hoping you don't wake up. You finally manage to get there after an agonizing walk, not before stopping a maid and requesting a bath drawn for you. You can't stand the sticky feeling between your legs. When you enter the room you let out a sigh of relief. You just want to mentally escape from it all so you jump when you turn around and clutch your chest.

“kepa.”

You and daemon had a different relationship than his other children. Your three birth brothers had not taken to calling him father, not that daemon was not nice to them. He treated them well and made sure they grew up to be proper men, but it had felt awkward for them. Rhaenyra and daemon married so quickly after your “fathers” death and it just had made things awkward.

To his and especially your mother's surprise you had quickly taken to calling him father which he enjoyed. He ended up showering you with affections he would normally only save for his dragon. You had no issue with him, not feeling the awkwardness your brothers had, you had no clue why but it just had become a habit to calling him father. You tried to ignore the guilt you felt whenever you would look at rhaena, knowing of her now strained relationship with him yet you would always get to spend time with him.

The two of you stare at each other for a moment before he motions to the chair next to him and pats the cushion. You cannot deny him, he had made his way to your room and was sitting at your table. You sit down next to him, fiddling with your hands in your lap as you look anywhere but him. You have yet to speak to him since yesterday morning, making an effort to avoid him at all costs. You know he would question you, swiftly interrogated you.

“Kepa-” “Let me speak first.” You swiftly close your mouth and tense. He crosses his arms and leans back into his card, his gaze doesn't leave your face. “You will tell me why you have been acting so strangely.” “I have not-” “You will not lie to me girl.” You stay silent for a while, your world feels like it's closing in around you. You close your eyes tightly, hoping the world will open up and suck you in, that a bolt of lightning will come and strike you.

Suddenly a hand is places on your leg and your head shoots up, his face has changed into a softer one, only reserved for you. “Skoros iksos ziry ao issa zaldrīzes?” (what is it you my dragon?)

You look down at your lap and your whirlwind of emotions comes spilling out. You tell him everything. From lucerys death to blood and cheese to rooks rest and to your death. Your plans of what you are doing now, why you are trying to do this. Everything. Though you admittedly leave out some details like what had just occurred this afternoon... It feels good to finally tell someone whats been going through your head.

You don't know how long you had been talking but once you stop the room is dead silent. He says nothing for a while, putting his hand on his chin and he looks as of he’s in deep thought. You anxious watch his face, your hands pick and prodded at the fabric of your dress, pulling on loose threads. You must sound insane and he will tell you as such.

“I believe you.”

Your mouth opens in shock. He taps his fingers on the table as he speaks, “Of course those fucking hightower cunts would do that. i should go slit their throats right now.”

You shake your head as you try not to think about how your stomach churns at the thought of aemond dying.

“That would be a terrible idea.”

“And you would rather lucerys die?”

“My plan will work kepa i am certain of it plus you would be hung for treason.”

“Is it truly treason if i have good reason? nobody likes them anyway i would be deemed a hero.”

“You do not like them kepa you do not speak for everyone.”

“Are you saying you like them? You like aemond?”

You don't know anymore.

These last couple months you had hated him. You despise him. Wished him dead every moment. But when you were kids you thought he was sweet. He never did anything truly wrong to you personally though you understand your siblings distain for him. You would always reprimand your brothers for following with aegon’s schemes and usually got them to apologize to him.

Maybe you had affections for him you kept locked up for a long long time. When you had come back to the keep for the first time you had thought he was handsome and tried not to think any deeper than that. It was easy when you were so distracted by your brothers trial and he had pissed you off when he called you all bastards during the dinner.

This reminds you of something you had forgotten. Did he still call you a bastard? Would he mumble it under his breath as you walk away from him?

You are probably the most clueless person in the whole keep.

“Does it matter if i do?”

“Were you with him just now?”

You nod, a confused look gracing you face as he laughs to himself. “What?”

“I could tell you like him very much.”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“It is very obvious to tell when a lady has been fooling around with a man. You are lucky i am the only one who wished to see you this afternoon.”

You flush as his hand comes up and fiddles around with your hair. Was it truly that obvious? You had been sitting here this whole time and he knew?

“kepa-”

“i will not question you on your affairs. You are free to do as you wish,” He holds up his hand to stop you from speaking, “and i truly do not wish to think about that hightower cunt putting his hands on you. and hopefully it was just his hands.”

“Daemon!”

“So im just daemon now? im hurt.”

You lean back in your chair and a silence befalls you two once more. The door opens and you two turn your heads to the maid. “Your bath is ready princess.” You nod and wave her away, stating you wished to bath yourself this afternoon, because you would be embarrassed about how messy you must be but request someone sent in to help you get dressed. She nods and leaves swiftly.

You turn to daemon who stands and you follow suit. He grabs your arms and stares at you. “if you truly believe your plan will work i will advise you to try and put a wedge between himself and the rest of his family. He will choose them over you in a heartbeat. You must swiftly put in the effort and attempt to make him not trust them. However you see fit.”

He places a kiss on your forehead but before he can walk off you grab his arm, “You are not going to do anything stupid right?”

He merely smirks at you and that tells you all you need to know, letting go of his arm and not even bothering to watch him leave as you quickly make your way to the tub before undresses and submerging yourself to the steaming hot water.

You scrub and your scrub at any exposed skin you can reach hoping to scrub off whatever infectious potion he has laced into your skin. You can’t help but think about him, and attempt to ignore the way a heated pit forms in your stomach as you recall his words, his actions, what he had done to you.

You don’t know how to feel, you wish someone would come down and give you the answers you seek. Why did feelings have to be so complicated? You scrub until your skin turns red before throwing your head back against the tub and closing your eyes. He seemed rather eager to engage in your ‘affections’ you cant tell if it stems from him being able to tell you are trying to trick him or if he is genuine and wants you.

You had apparently fallen asleep and are woken to a maid shaking your shoulder concerned urging you out of the bath quickly as you had been in there far too long, your hands and feet had pruned. You look to the window and see the sun had set, were you truly in the tub for that long?

The maid holds the dress you had been wearing the last time you were at the dinner and an idea pops up into your head. “I wish to wear the newer dress.” She looks at you shocked, “Something big is happening tonight i should like to look my best.” You know this will cause the maids and the squires to talk and that's exactly what you want, you want them to be on edge this whole dinner, waiting for the bomb that will inevitably drop and by the look on the maids face as you grin happily you can tell this will be the talk of the keep halls.

You see the look of shock when you open your door on jacaerys face as he looks upon your outfit, “You,, look beautiful sister.” You smile and grab his arm, “and you look as proper as ever brother.” “Do not humor me.” “I am merely stating the truth.” You say with a laugh that has him glaring at you and pinching your arm causing you to yelp and slap his chest.

You soon enough walk into the dinning hall with lucerys and the dragon twins trailing behind you and immediately look to aemond who stands in front of aegon with a bored look. You freeze as you see him look at you and a light smirk befalls his face, you decide to be brave and keep your eyes on him as he stares for another long moment before he looks back. Aegon turns his head and looks at you with a tilt of his head before back to his brother and quickly back to you before turning once more and the two seemingly begun to be in a heated discussion.

You eyes however wonder off to otto who stands in a far, dark corner of the room a squire speaking into his ear before his eyes lock onto you and he looks worriedly back at otto before he bows and walks off. Otto looks over at you with what can only be interpreted as annoyance and curiosity, you merely wiggle your fingers at him in a little wave before you walk over to a seat. You choose to sit near lucerys in the hopes to keep his attention off of aemond though when you look at aemond as he sits you see that he does not look pleased.

You cannot worry about it now as viserys is brought in and alicent starts with a prayer. You look at aemond whos lost in prayer his hands folded neatly in front of him with his eye closed. He looks like a painting, like if someone had hand painted or a statue that someone had hand carved. It is rare to see a man as handsome as he is. Your eyes widen as he opens his eye to look at you before it closes again and you swiftly turn away from his direction to lucerys who is eyeing his plate but looks up at you and smiles.

Soon enough the food is brought and the on slot of speeches occur. It’s jarring to hear the same phrases and the same sentences heard over and over and over again. You merely continue to conversate with lucerys in the hopes aemond will not get irritated as he did last time. Something out of the ordinary does happen as viserys taps on his glass and everyone turns to look at him.

“In light of this beautiful day i would like to give one last final announcement.” You hold your breath and look to daemon who looks at you with a raised brow and a small chuckle. “I am so happy to know our families will join together once more with the engagement of my son aemond and rhaenyra's daughter y/n.” The table grows dead quiet. Even the staff in the room stops in their place at his words.

Alicent is the first to break it, “That is,,,” She struggles to finish her own sentence as she blinks rapidly, “So wonderful.” Rhaenyra straightens up in her seat and brushes her hand down the front of her dress letting out a confused sound before she speaks, “Yes, so wonderful, what brought on such a decision.”

“y/n had come to me and ask for permission herself.”

At this every head in the room turns in your direction, you let out an anxious laugh as you quickly wipe a drop of sweat that begins to run down your face and let a clearly forced smile grace your face.

Aegon quickly begins to laugh, almost falling out of seat as alicent leans forward to scold him. As daemon begins to chuckle rhaenyra places her hand on his arm, “Did you know about this?” He does not answer, continuing to merely shake his head as he takes another drink from his cup.

You look at the dragon twins and jacaerys who are staring at you with wide eyes while you feel lucerys place his hand on yours, “What is going on sister?” You shrug as you try your best to keep the smile on your face under their stares, “I do not know what you wish for me to say. You should remember what i said.” Jacaerys leans towards you his face furious, “But that should not mean you must marry the man!” His words are hushed yet angry but he seems to settle down a little as baela places a hand on his shoulder. You simply shake your head and do not dare to look at aemonds direction, instead choosing to fiddle around with the food on your plate.

You are so curious to know what he is thinking and you do not attempt to listen to their side of the table, instead as much as you hate it, focus on the scolding you are getting from your siblings and they do not seem to care you give them no response. Things around you finally begin to settle down as viserys is carried out the room and the room grows quiet again.

You grow more and more anxious as you watch helaena speak and know that in the past this is when the night began to fall apart. You rack your mind quickly as you try to decipher what to do. You still do not dare to look at aemond as if he would be any help. You do not bother to think before you act as you see jacaerys almost stand to go offer helaena a dance as you shoot up from you seat holding your cup as everyone stares at you. “I know everyone is sick of speeches but if i could give the last one.”

You relax as you see jacaerys settle into his seat and stare up at you as you take a deep shaky breath before you speak. “I would first and foremost like to acknowledge how wonderful it is to be here with everyone despite the unfortunate circumstances,” You let out a light laugh awkward laugh before continuing, “and i would mostly like to shout out my future husband.” You finally look at him.

He is as stoic as ever but he keeps his eye firm on you. You look for any sort of reaction from him but he merely continues to stare at you like you’re nothing and you lose your confidence, “um,,” You look to daemon who raises his eyebrows at you and his words from earlier come pummeling back into you.

He will choose them over you in a heartbeat. You must swiftly put in the effort and attempt to make him not trust them. However you see fit.

“Our union is a beautiful one, though my letters to you had gone unanswered, i am more than hopeful to make up for the lost time with a timeless bond we shall share. To us.” Your raise your glass to him as his eye widens and his head slowly turns to his mother and otto who look confused at your words and you sit down swiftly with a satisfied look.

Even if he does not like you, you believe letting him believe you had attempted to contact him the years you were apart and alicent or otto or both had hid it from him would be enough to atleast allow him to feel a bit of discomfort towards them, even though you knew it was not enough you would have to do more.

To your relief or maybe even your horror the night quickly closes after your speech and you are unsure of what to do now. This was uncharted territory. In the past you were quickly rushed to your room to pack up your stuff to leave but now you were saying a friendly goodnight to their side of the family and swiftly rushing out of the room before aemond or anyone for that matter could approach you.

You try your best to make it to your room, you can even see the door before you are suddenly scooped up and throw over his shoulder. “kepa put me down!”

“Your mother wishes to speak to you.” “I don’t want to.” you groan in defeat as you try to pull yourself off him but he keeps his arms firmly around you until you walk into a room and he places you down on the couch before taking a seat next to you.

You avoid eye contact with your mother who is pacing directly Infront of you. “I am very angry with you.” “I am sorry mother.” She runs his hands sown her face and stops pacing, standing straight at you with her arms crossed. “This is not something to take lightly you must consult me on these types of things.” “I’m sorry.”

You look down at your lap as you rethink over your decisions. Maybe you did not think this through. You should have talked to her atleast and now she has to deal with the stress of your rash decision. She sits down next to you and grabs your hands in hers. “Is this truly what you want?”

You don’t know anymore. Tonight went a lot better than you had expected. Well maybe it had only gone well because you had intervened when you did but maybe you did not need to marry him for this family to be salvaged. But you certainly cannot take it back now. Maybe you could, maybe they could convince viserys he had imagined the whole thing and you guys could go back to normal which meant the two of you would never speak.

Yet you cannot risk anything happening to your family.

“Yes it is mother.” She lets out a long breath and tightens her grip on you, “Then it is done.”

You let out a shaky breath as you put a grin on your face. You cannot tell how you feel but you are more curious about how he must feel about all this. He must be so confused and you hope he is at least pleased about it. Someone must be.

“Then we will return home in a few days and you can stay here-“

“no!”

You and daemon say at the same time, both of you sitting up in alarm and she leans back in shock looking between the two of you.

“what is with you two? is there something you aren’t telling me?”

the two of look at one another slowly before you turn back to rhaenyra.

“of course not.” “certainly not mother.”

She squints her eyes at the two of you, “are you sure?”

“definitely not.” “No no no.”

She moves on despite clearly not believing you guys. “Then we shall stay, if you so insist…”

you and daemon let a sigh of relief and she continues to look at you two confused. “I will let you two keep this secret you have for now but you will tell me the next time i ask you hear me?”

“yes mother.”

She leans over and cups your cheeks, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “now me and your father have much to discuss. Head straight to bed.” You nod and turn to your father placing a kiss on his cheek causing him to smile and grab your face lightly before you stand and say goodnight leaving the room.

You cannot wait to get back to room so you can finally relax for the first time this whole evening, quickly flopping onto your bed and trying to sleep having no regard to change out of your dress merely wishing to escape to the dream world. Now you were walking into this blind, you have so much false confidence as you knew how the events would play out but now you are more than lost. In the past you had been packing up your stuff to hop on a carriage back to dragonstone but now you were staying in the keep. Betrothed.

You had not thought this far clearly. You would be married. It was your duty of course and your mother had begun talking about finding you a suitor but you always brushed it off believing it to be a problem for future you. But future you is here and now you will have to do as women do and marry, lay on the birthing bed to have children.

You will think about this tomorrow. as you fade off into dream land, a small part of you hopes to meet him there.

“Aemond you must see reason they clearly are trying to manipulate you. I shall talk to the king and make him-” “There is no need.”

“Aemond! I will not allow you to marry that girl, you know what she is a b-” “Do not say it.”

Alicent is desperate to get aemond to care about this the way she does but aemond seemed so far away, simply staring at the wall not sparing her a glance. This was not the son she knew, the son she raised and she did not like that.

“Aemond please-“ “Did she truly send me letters?” Alicents blinks, shocked at his question, frozen in confusion, when he scoffs at her appearance and goes to stand she snaps out of it and stands with him. “Obviously she did not aemond. She is lying! I cannot believe you are allowing her to get into your head like this!” Aemond says nothing as she grabs his forearms and looks into his eye. “They are lying to you aemond this is scheme to get you to fall into their trap, to lure you int a false sense of security, son please.”

The two stand in silence for a good moment. The only words exchanged is another please escaping alicents lips. Yet he says nothing at all merely ripping his arms from her grip and fleeing from her room leaving her to call after him. He did not turn back and she flops down on the couch in defeat. Her head in her hands, what was she to do?

You wake up to maids urging you out of bed, scolding you for having fallen asleep in your night clothes and swiftly rushing you to a bath. For a moment you had forgotten about the events of last night and you were at peace until as you were getting dressed another maid came into the room.

“The queen has requested to have tea with you princess.”

You certainly cannot refuse a request from the queen no matter how sick it made you. As you are led there you try to run though any scenario you could think of, would she try to talk you out of the engagement? Would she berate you for lying about sending aemond letters? What if she was actually happy about the betrothal? no certainly not. You remember her clear distain at the idea of halaena and Jacaerys getting married and you’re certain she feels no different about you. maybe you could try and convince her it would be beneficial. But you have no benefits to your name and in truth neither does aemond. Both set to inherit nothing. Your brothers to claim driftmark and dragonstone you truly have nothing to your name other than your blood.

There were no benefits to marrying you. Similar to aemond but he could have a much better life, marry into one of the great houses and become the head of the house. You have stripped him of that, even in the past he was set to marry into house baratheon, though you know he does not honor these arrangements, and had prospects a plenty. And you have stripped him of that. You should be happy he is stuck marrying you for he has lost the ability to inherit anything, yet you cant find yourself happy you only feel sorry for him.

You mentally prepared so hard that when you walked into the room you are unsure what to do when you see your mother and alicent sitting side by side chatting with smiles on their face with aemond sitting opposite of them, a free chair besides him. When they see you they rush you over to sit down next to them, aemond stand and pulls out the chair for you. You let out a hushed thank you as you smile at him and he hums with a faint of smirk on his face as he looks you over before sitting back down himself.

You are poured a cup before the commotion begins once more. “Now that you’ve arrived we should talk about the pressing matters.” You gulp and glance at aemond who blinks. The two ladies flow back into the discussion they were in before, a light argument with both of them showing their stubborness. “It is tradition she be married in the ways of the old gods and it is valriyan traidition. Im sure your son would also like to be married in the way all his ancestors had been.” “And my son also follows the faith of the seven and it would be incredible disrespectful to him should he not be married under the seven.”

“Why dont we just do both?” They turn to you and you merely shrug. “we could do a smaller more intimate ceremony with just family on dragonstone before we have a more formal wedding in the grand sept or whatever its called. Its respectful for both of us and everyone is happy,” you turn to aemond who is already looking at you, “Right?” He hums once more and nods, “Though it matters not to me where we marry it is a good idea nonetheless.”

The two women contemplate the idea before alicent begrudgingly agrees. “It is not an awful idea. but it would be hard to secure the grand sept.” This has your mother turning to her confused. “why ever not?” “Aemond is my second son, we only got the grand sept for aegon because-“ “The high septon shall listen to me when i ask. She is my first daughter and is to be treated as such.”

So the two ladies were in agreement and you let out a sigh of relief. Though you could feel alicents stare burning into you whenever she thought you could not notice but she was more than obvious. Youre more than grateful for the two other people in the room for only the gods know what she would be saying to you should the two of you be alone.

they get so lost in their conversation they barely even notice the two of you. You cant help but glance at aemond and he appears bored, fiddling around with a coin between his fingers. you ignore the fact that your thighs squeeze together while you eye his fingers for a moment too long. “im sorry.” you cant help but say in a hushed voice in his direction. He looks upon you shocked, glancing quickly to his mother but the two barely notice him before he looks back at you. “whatever for?”

“for dropping this on you so suddenly. I was wrong not to consult you before asking grandsire.” You do not know why you feel so sorry now. He is the man who killed your brother for gods sake but now youre sitting here feeling sorry for him? His eye is wide as he looks at you blinking as if he had not heard you right. He takes a few moments to compose himself before he coughs lightly into the fist of his hand. “You should not apologize. I am more than happy that you had asked him about it.” You tilt your head as your heart pounds in your chest, “He probably would have rejected me when i would have asked. My mother would certainly never do it in my stead.” “You planned on asking him?” Your words are strained yet still hushed.

He leans in closer to you and you freeze. “If i have not been obvious enough with my affections then allow me to make them clear to you now. I planned on marrying you whether our family agreed or not. If you do not believe me i am more than happy to show you how i feel like how i had done in the garden.”

You flush as he pulls away. a rush of emotions flow into you, you’re sure your soaked under your dress right now but you cant think about that right now as the two women turn to look at you guys. “I believe it is best we wait a few months to even think about these weddings,” “And i say its best we begin the prep immediately there is no reason to wait but maybe it is best we wait.”

You cannot let them push the wedding back too far. You would even prefer if this union was set in stone right here right now. You worry what will happen within the family should you wait too long to marry. Luckily for you aemond steps in, “I see no reason for delay, wouldnt you like for our father to be present for the ceremony? If we wait too long who knows what could happen.”

You are more than happy he stepped in instead of you though you doubt his reasons for wanting to push the wedding up are as pure as your reasoning is. Alicent, despite the flash of irritation that crosses her face a sad look graces it in its stead and she nods in agreement. “You are right. yet i doubt he would be able to travel to dragonstone in his condition.” “He could travel to the grand sept no? Im sure it would make him more than happy if he could be there.” Alicent looks at rhaenyra before she nods her head, “yes i suppose he could.” “then the matter is settle, we shall have a wedding in the grand sept and the celebrations here then travel to dragonstone where they shall be married and then they could even stay on dragonstone for a few days by themselves it could be a little trip for them.”

You blush at the idea of being in your childhood home with just aemond. Alone. As a married couple. You dare glance at him again and he has a pleased look on his face. his eye reaches yours and the smirk on his face grows at your embarrassed expression. You cannot believe this. “That sounds lovely.” Alicents words are strained but she makes no complaints, realizing it is a 3 vs 1 situation she only looks to rhaenyra. “And when would we be having these ceremonies?” “I see no reason why we cannot have it in two weeks time.” A lump suddenly grows in your throat and you cough into your elbow. ”Two weeks? That is ridiculous! Imagine what the people would think, they would think that…” Alicents words trail off as rhaenyra looks at her with a pointed look and she takes a deep breath. She does have a point as much as you hate to admit it. If you were to announce a sudden wedding the people would certain think the worst, probably that he had gotten you pregnant and you were forced to marry. You certainly cannot handle that. “What if we say we have been betrothed since childhood but are finally getting married now that aemond is older?” Alicent certainly tries her best not to glare at you though you dont let her know shes doing a terrible job yet your mother nods. “Thats perfect. Then its settled yes?”

Everyone at the table, though alicent is reluctant, nods their head in agreement and rhaenyra smiles. “Then me and the queen have a lot to discuss so you two are dismissed.” You go to stand with aemond and your mother turns to you, “Tomorrow i will call you down for the wedding planning.” You nod and bow at alicent with a pleased look as you leave, aemond trailing behind you.

You let out a breath of relief after the meeting. You did not know if viserys would live to the next two weeks you did not even know if he would live to tomorrow. But atleast you knew you would be in the keep when it happened. but whatever happens after that you’re sure your father has it figured out. You barely even notice aemond is walking beside you, your head almost spinning from relief. When you grip your head he turns to you, “Are you alright?” You nod but he seems insistent, grabbing your arm and leading you to sit down on one of the benches aligning the walls.

You lightly thank him while he kneels in front of you, pressing a hand in front of you forehead. “You dont feel warm.” He mumbles more so to himself, you close your eyes and press your head against his hand, the warmth of his hands feels nice against your skin. When you flutter your eyes open he has a smug look on his face so you full back and roll your eyes. Suddenly you realize how reminiscent of the garden the position you two are in now and flush, turning away from him.

He chuckles at your expression , “I did not know my lady was of such an indecent mind.” You glare at him, “And how does the prime and perfect prince know what i am thinking of?” A familiar look graces his eye and he leans in closer to you. you hold you breath as his smirk grows. “Because i am thinking the same thing. No i am thinking much much worse things.”

His words are hushed like they are forbiden they should be forbidden, for the way you shift in your seat and the pounding of your heart. He almost goes into kiss you before his eye widens and he stands. Footsteps.

“Aemond.” helaena looks upon you and smiles, “Good sister.” You smile back at her as best you can and let out a shaky breath, “Princess.” “Please we are to be sisters, you should refer to me as such.” You nod and let a real smile grace your face at her kindness. You have always liked helaena for she has always been kind unlike her brothers. Your eyes widen when you see she is holding jaehaerys, memories of hearing of his death flash in front of you and you try not to let your surprise show on your face. “As you wish good sister.” A big smile grows on her face at your words. “I have always wanted a sister, i am glad you shall be joining us here in the keep.”

You are not shocked to hear she does not consider rhaenyra her sister why would she? But it does rattle you back to earth and remind you why you are doing all this in the first place. For her. Your mother. to prevent a future that might kill her, that would kill you kill you all. You cannot afford to be blinded by pretty words and shove whatever feelings you had down. Standing up you run your hands along your skirt and put on your nicest face. “I am more than happy to be becoming your sister then. Do you have any plans this afternoon?” “I am to take jaehaerys to his lesson then i suppose i am free.” “Then let us chat this afternoon? just us girls.” You add in fear of aemond attempting to insert himself where you fear he will be. She nods eagerly, “Join me in taking him then.” You nod and politely bow to aemond, not missing the gleam in his eye before joining helaena and walking off. “Enjoy your afternoon.”

You do not turn back at his words but helaena does and sends him a smile. His words rattle you more than you would like to admit. You listen to helaena talk about whatever she wished to with a smile, you should not only focus on getting in good graces with aemond it should have always been a priority to focus on earning the good will of the others aswell. You will never gain otto or alicents but helaena and maybe even aegon you could certainly swing in your favor.

Your next few days follow a simply routine, you wake up, eat breakfast with your family, join helaena for stitching, avoid aemond as much as possible though it is easy with him keeping to his sword work and his books, wedding plan with your mother and alicent in the afternoon then eat dinner with the hightowers where you would make conversation with aegon when no one else would. It was simple yet you felt like you were walking on borrowed time each and everyday. You felt a sense of anxiety with every move you made, like someone was waiting for you to slip up, you were waiting every moment for the ball to drop, for viserys to die. Yet it did not happen. The wedding approached closer and closer the beginning of the festivities would begin tomorrow and he was still alive and well, as well as he can be.

You had finished breakfast and were walking to go see helaena but freeze as he stands in the hall, pacing back and forth with his hands behind his back. At the sounds of your footsteps he looks up at you and stands tall, staring at you. “My lady.” You bow your head, “My prince.” You walk forward towards him and he keeps his position, his eye trailing your every move. You have not spoken much to him, enough to keep civil and keep his attention but not enough for anything really to occur between the two of you, merely small chatter. You intend to keep it that way and move to walk past him, “Good day-” “I wish for you to join me today.” You freeze in your movement and keep you back to him.

You do not know what to do. It would be wrong to refuse him but you are nervous you may not be able to control yourself should you be alone with him. “Helaena is preoccupied this day, and, call me selfish but i wish to hear my future wife say more than five words to me today, if that is acceptable.” The tone in his voice tells you he has a wicked face on and he is content knowing he has called you out. You take a deep breath and turn around, “Of course my prince. I shall join you.”

“Call me Aemond,” He hums as he looks down at your outfit, “I would say put on your riding gear but i am sure you do not have any. This dress with do. Come.” He offers you his arm and you nervously take it, his words worrying you. “Where are we going?” When you to not grab his arm he laces his fingers with yours and begins to walk you two down the hall. “You are to be my wife you shall meet vhagar, she is eager to take a ride.”

You almost argue you do have riding gear until you remember you do not have a dragon. You did not claim one until the war when you claimed a wild one. Your heart aches at the memory but it is only shoved down at the anxiety that trails its way up. “No certainly not. i will do no such thing.” He smiles at your reluctance and continues to urge you along outside of the keep and you walk along a path covered with trees.

“Do not fret i will not allow any harm to come to you. I simply wish to spend some time with you.” “and you wish to do that on a dragon? why can you not train for today yes? I will sit in the courtyard and watch you all day! there is to be a tourney tomorrow you know.” You do not wish to do this, growing more annoyed with every step you take. “Yes a tourney i am more than sure to win in your honor.” His chest is puffed and he looks straight ahead with the confidence of a true dragon.

You scoff, his overconfidence is something you allowed to slip past your mind. “You have never fought in a tourney aemond.” “so you believe i will lose? where has the kind women who sung my praises gone hmm?” Your eyes widen at his words. You have been a fool! allowing yourself to get too comfortable with him. “Forgive me aemond i-” He switfly cuts you off and is pleased at your nervous look. “No no please continue i am so eager to hear what you truly think of me.” You pause and rethink what you will do what you will say. You cannot afford to mess this up with time so fragile.

“Allow me to apologize, i have been denying myself from seeing you, for i fear what i will do should i.” This has him shocked and you smile as you gain the upperhand, he blinks before a smile graces his face pulling you closer to him his grip on your hand tightening. “I am glad we are one in the same.” You are certainly not one in the same but you are also certainly not lying. You do fear what you will do, how you will allow yourself to lose control. It frightened you how much he could do to you.

You freeze as you stand in front of vhagar, she leans to eye you down and you take a step back while aemond speaks to her. He grabs your hand and places it on her nose and she lets out a long breath. “She likes you.” You scoff and shake your head, “I bet she wants to eat me.” “She does not eat people.” Your mind reels back to lucerys and you sigh, gripping at your chest. “Dragons can do anything.” His brow is raised in question but does not dare to say anything. He allows you to get familiar with vhagar and you cannot find yourself to relax despite the fact she is making no clear moves to harm you and does not intent to. He watches you as you shake still in fear and he moves to grab you gently, turning you to him. “If you wish we turn back now we can, i will not force you.”

He once again gives you an out as he always does, whenever you try so hard to make him a bad guy in your head he always twists and turns the story where you end up feeling back for misleading him. You nod and attempt to stand tall and confidence. “I will go.” You will do what you have to, for your family, and it does not hurt that the genuine smiles that graces his face is gorgeous.

He assists you on her and moves to sit behind you, grabbing your hands and covering them with his as he grabs the handles. You already feel as though you are way to far up but when aemond calls for her to rise and fly you close your eyes as the winds hit your face. The only sounds you hear as the flapping of vhagars wings as you soar higher and higher. You do not dare open them despite the fact you have spent the last couple months dragon riding. You fear you will be reminded of your last moments in the sky before you had fallen off, your breath quickens and his head falls on your shoulder, his lips right next to your ears sending shivers down your spine when he speaks. “Open your eyes.”

You do and it is glorious. Riding around the areas of kings landing are much more gorgeous than war. When you look around you do not see smoke you do not hear the sounds of metal crashing and screams and shouts, what you see is beautiful waters and lands and what you hear is merely the rippling's of the wings and the sound of Aemond breathing. “Its wonderful.” He hum and presses a kiss against your neck, “there is nothing more wonderful than this.” You hope he means flying. You are sure he means flying. You gulp and keep your head straight, taking in the sight around you instead of focusing on him. “I get why you do this so often.” “It clears my mind, you should join me when i fly.” Certainly not. You will not yet you do not find yourself refusing. You say nothing as you continue staring out the scenery before you.

The two of you are silent for awhile simply taking in the sky until his hands leave the tops of yours and wrap around your waist instead. “What are you doing?” “I wish to thank you.” “whatever for?” “for wishing to marry me,” you freeze as you begin to sweat despite the cool air hitting you.

“I, am no more than a second son. A cripple. Yet you asked for my hand despite that. When i have nothing to my name other than the one you already share. So thank you.” Your heart shatters. You begin to feel an ache in your chest and you close your eyes and lean into him. You feel awful. Sick to your stomach. He does truly seem to care for you and that makes everything far worse. You cant help but think to yourself would it be so bad to love him? to allow yourself to truly be happy in your marriage and your future together? The man behind you is not the man who killed your brother at least not in this life. or maybe not yet.

Yet you cannot help but turn around to look at him, he pulls away and keeps a firm grip on your hips as he stares at you, a far away look in his eye. “I wish you would not thank me.” “Why not? You have done more for me than you know i merely wish to honor you the way you deserve.” You shake your head and let out a weak no, he must not continue for it hurts too much. “Please don’t,” “I will, i will until i can no longer breath, i will do anything for you.” He presses your foreheads together and you should swiftly pull away from him, turn away and keep yourself locked up tight but you allow him to despite what your head was saying because it is what your heart wished for. “I can offer you nothing.” You say in return as you hope its true, not just in titles in lands in anything but you pray you cannot return his feelings either. Yet he simple rubs his nose against yours and you let out a shuddering breath. “I do not care.”

Your hands find his face and he pulls away from you. You simply stare at him, your eye falling to his eyepatch which he is quick to notice and goes to pull it away from his face. You stop him, “You do not have to, if you do not wish.” He smiles and pulls it away from his face. You are gasp lightly at the glimmering sapphire in his eye. You run your hand under his eye and he leans into your hand. “it is beautiful. You are beautiful.” He shakes his head and presses his forehead against yours. “There is no one more beautiful than you.”

He kisses you. It is not similar to the past kiss you have shared. This kiss is simpler, one made of pure love. Like he is pouring himself into you and you drink every drop of it up. In this one moment nothing else matters. Not the past present or the future just you and aemond above the world. You ignore every worry, every voice in your head telling you this is wrong. Just the feeling of his lips on your and the grip of his hands on your hips. His lips leave yours and trail down the side of your jaw down your neck, licking and sucking at the skin he can reach. Your hands grip his shoulders and you are pulled even closer to him as you revel in the pleasure. His lips trail back up to reach yours once more as one of hands leaves your waist and trails under your dress.

You let out some heaving breaths as he pulls away from you. “Allow me to make my debts right. To give you what you are owed.” You do not even think before you nod, without a care in the world as he presses his lips against yours against he trails his fingers along your slit. Unlike last time he barely wastes anytime before two fingers enter your and you let out a long moan that aemond drinks up as his tongue finds its way in your mouth. You have never felt like this before, with the rushing winds and the feeling of his course fingers inside your walls, his thumb toying with your clit. Aemond pulls away from your lips and you drop your head into his shoulder as he continues his movements inside you.

“You feel so good my sweet, fuck i will never tire of this.” You feel in slip in a third finger causing you to hiss at the stretch. You can focus on nothing other than the way he’s making you feel, you had thought the garden was the best it would get but somehow this was even better, you feel that pit in your stomach grow and grow leading you to bite into the fabric covering his shoulder to silence your only growing moans. “I want to hear you my sweet,” And he certainly hears you, with your battered breaths and shaky moans right next to his ear you can feel himself harden against you. You almost wonder if you should help him but being so close to your release you only think of yourself.

“Aemond,,” “my sweet give me what i desire, cum.” His thumb against your clit quickens and you shake as you drip all over his fingers. They stay inside you for a moment, allowing you to settle in your release before he speaks to vhagar to have you land before he removes his fingers and you watch mesmerized as he takes each one in his hands, licking even at his palm to remove some that had dripped down. “Does it truly taste that good?” He hums with his eye closed as he pops the last finger from his mouth. “absolutely divine.”

You had not even notice you had been flying back to where you had taken off. He must have been steering with his free hand. He basically has to carry you off of vhagar as you legs do not seem to be working. You say nothing to one another until you are off the ground and you eye his hardness. “Do you not need any help with that?” That annoying smirk graces his face and he shakes his head. “I would not want a pretty little innocent girl like you to partake in such terrible terrible sins.” You roll your eyes at his words despite your shaky legs begin to walk away from him which he quickly catches up with you. The rest of your walk is in silence and he walks you back to your room and wishes you a good day until dinner before he leaves and you walk into your room before leaning against your door and letting out a shaky breath.

what were you going to do?

You quickly request a bath before stating that you will take a nap before dinner and sleep finds you quickly. Your dreams are filled of you and aemond, similar to how you had been this afternoon and you lose yourself in them. You had apparently been so lost when you open your eyes it is well past dinner and the sky is as dark as can be. You turn to the other side and hope that when you try to fall back asleep you can but a piece of paper on your bedside table as you sitting up.

meet me in the library.

No name attached to it and you think it could possible be aemond. but what could he want from you at an hour like this? certainly nothing good. You throw on a cloak and walk yourself to the library, with every step you take you grow more and more nervous. Yet when you enter the library and walk around the empty walls of books you let out a sigh of relief at the man you see. “kepa.” he turns to you, his face illuminated by the candle in front of him and he crosses his arms as he turns to face you a look you cannot read present on his face.

“What is that look for?” “You like him.” You flinch like he had yelled at you and you fiddle around with your cloak. “I do not.” Your father takes a few steps towards you and stares you down. his tone angrier but his words are still hushed “I have begged you to be careful.” You shrug and grow annoyed at his accusations, “I have father.” “You say you have yet i am staring at the face of a girl who is walking herself directly into a hightower trap.”

You let out a frustrated noise and throw your hands up as you take a couple steps back. You do not know why you are so annoyed by his words. Maybe it is because you feel he is undermining you and does not trust you. Or maybe its because you feel called out by him. You do not know what you feel or what you think about him anymore. Maybe you really are walking into some elaborate trick. Or maybe youre not. You have no clue anymore.

You snap. And you yell at him depsite the fact you do not mean to.

“I am doing exactly what i must do for our family. I do not like him i am not falling into some trick everything i am doing is for us! so screw him and if i have to pretend i love him for the rest of my life then i will because i am doing it for us!”

The two of you are silent as you stare each other down. You do not know what came over you but you merely wish to leave this conversation and for him to leave you alone. The sound of footsteps has you freezing in place. You turn your head and see him. He does not look at you, either of you in fact. Simply placing a book back on the shelf and grabbing another. “Aemond wait i-” He does not turn to you as you speak. You watch as he merely begins to walk away. You almost run after him, but you feel so stuck in your place. He heard that. He had to have. You cant even be bothered to care that everything you have worked so hard for might have just been crumbled when the only thing you can think about is how he must feel.

He laid his heart before you and you have done nothing but squash it like a bug. Maybe it was a trick maybe it wasn’t but you can’t help but fear it was. Maybe you should hope it wasnt for you cant imagine how hurt he would feel should he has been genuine. You should hope he is exactly how your father pictures him to be. The aemond you know of the future. The evil man who murdered your brother and calls your bastards at every breath. Though deep down you know he is not.

You cannot breath. The air escaping you as you stumble your way to the table and stare at the wood as your head spins. You sit down in one of the chairs as you look at your father with worried eyes. He runs his hand along his jaw and he shakes his head. He does not know what to do. And neither do you.

Your wedding festivities start tomorrow if there even is still to be a wedding at all now. He has the proof he needs to go to his mother and she would swiftly put a stop to this as she has been dying to do. Would you be kicked out of the keep? would all your efforts be in vain? Would he hate you? if he didnt before he must now. He must despise you. For tricking him and rightfully so. You are a monster. But a monster who had been in the right. Everything you are doing is for your family. But your heart aches for him as you press your head against the cold wood of the table.

“We are royally fucked.”

You cannot disagree with him.

[whyse7vn]

BREAKING POINT -

[ ot7 x reader ]

this is like super short pls forgive me tan twitter tl for context

tan on twitter!!!

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

tae: yoongi pls unblock me on twitter

yoongi: kill yourself

tae: i tried guys why doesn’t he love me 💔

y/n: that was a pathetic try

tae: guess what

y/n: what?

tae: ligma man..

y/n: ligma??

jimin: no way 😭

jk: baby…

namjoon: really

y/n: WHAT???

jin: i’m with her

wtf you guys on about??

hobi: this is a sad day

tae: LIGMA FUCKING BALLS BITCH

y/n: drown

jimin: ur fault tbh

hobi: real

y/n: leave me alone

jin: look you made her upset idiots

y/n: IM NOT UPSET

hobi: cheer up baby ❤️

namjoon: it’s okay tae upsets me all the time

y/n: im fine

hobi: bts song

jk: i know bts

tae: me 2

y/n: i want to stab you with a pencil

tae: watch out namjoon

namjoon: she is definitely talking to you

tae: proof?

hobi: bts?

jimin: i’m gonna bts outta you shut the fuck up

hobi: aw man :/

jk: bts?

jin: beat the shit

tae: beat MY shit

jk: woah

yoongi: he actually needs to kill himself wow

tae: @y/n u 2

y/n: LEAVE ME ALONE

jimin: she’s mad

y/n: I’M NOT MAD

jin: y/n are you still with that scoups guy?

namjoon: didn’t we just find out they we’re together like a week ago?

jk: WE DID????

jin: she moves on fast tho so idk

y/n: NO I DONT????

jimin: yoongi mingyu jk scoups mark wonho minho san all of us

there’s more hold on i’m thinking

hobi: all of us?

jk: say sike…

y/n: ARE YOU FUCKING SICK???????

jin: woah major slut alertttttt

namjoon: shut up

y/n: ONLY LIKE 4 OF THOSE NAMES ARE RIGHT

jk: what

y/n: AND IVE ONLY FUCKED 2 OF THEM SO KILL YOURSELF LEAVE ME ALONE

yoongi: she’s a grown woman

y/n: RIGHT

sorry i’m hot as fuck and pull bitches it’s not my fault

jin: u mid

y/n: ur 30

jin: ok please leave me alone i’m sorry

tae: my body count is also 2

jimin: -2

tae: ummmm?

jk: i’ve killed no one

i could of but don’t worry

namjoon: ??

hobi: fyi she did not deny being with scoups

jimin: TRUE

jk: NO

y/n: i deny it

jimin: too late we know

jin: SLUT

sorry

pls i’m sorry i didn’t mean it pls don’t be mean to me

please oh my god i’m sorry it slipped out

love u

please

y/n: THIS IS NOT FEMINISM

namjoon: it’s okay if ur with him

jk: NO ITS NOT STOP SAYING THAT WHATS UR FUCKING ISSUE STUPID STUPID STUPID

y/n: IM NOT

tae: who have you fucked

yoongi: are you stupid?

tae: no i’m curious

hobi: OH IM CURIOUS YEAH

wow i love shinee

y/n can you please start talking to minho again and then get married to him so i can be at his wedding and we can be forever connected

jk: SHUT UR MOUTH

y/n: you guys know so much about my relationship life it actually makes me want to throw up

jimin: ur easy to stalk

hobi: she’s fucked jk and yoongi

tae: and me

jin: in dreams doesn’t count

yoongi: lol

tae: LOL AWAY FROM ME YOU NASTY BITCH

U THINK UR WINNING BUT UR FUCKING NOT

WHEN ME AND Y/N GET MARRIED IT WILL BE ME KIM TAEHYUNG WHO LOLS IN UR FUCKING FACE

YOU RAT

yoongi: L

tae: no

yoongi: O

tae: YOU FUCKING STOP RIGJT NOW MIN YOONGI

yoongi: L

tae: 6pm seoul south korea apartment block C floor 7 door number 279 a ak47 a man a mask and a fucking dream

namjoon: wow ok that’s great!!

nice vogue shoot btw jungkook!

jk: I WILL NOT FUCK U GO AWAY

namjoon: oh my fucking god

hobi: scottish pride!!

jimin: ???

hobi: was he not wearing a kilt?

jimin: a what?

hobi: killing myself

jin: why they put you in that dirty ass bathroom omg?

tae: dirty shoot for a dirty man

jin: ?

tae: what?

jin: just a bit crazy coming from u

y/n: tae you need to shower

tae: you in love

ha

fucking bitch

jin: do you fuck her or fight her damn?

jimin: right he’s pissing me off

tae: can you leave me alone i’m going through a lot rn

jk: dick

tae: ??

jk: a lot of dick

yoongi: lmao

namjoon: he likes men?

hobi: ewwwwwwwwwwww

jimin: homophobia?????????

jk: yes so he’s going through them

cuz he does not like y/n

yoongi: you say this like every 2 weeks

jk: because it is true

y/n: thank god

jk: no thank men

hobi: thx men

jin: so it’s not jimin?

jimin: what??

tae: i’ve never touched another man let alone sleep with one

hobi: amen

y/n: now that is just not true

namjoon: who cares

tae: I DO

hobi: no one will ever say those words to you

jin: i will

tae: fr 🥲?

jin: LOL

tae: ok kys

and fuck that bitch y/n

yoongi: have

tae left “tan on twitter”

hobi: cuteness overload ^_^

y/n: what crawled up his ass today tf

jk: hi do you need me do you want me do you love me

namjoon: can we just talk about life or like

jin: let me guess trees?

jimin: weed?

jk: OH MY GOD NAMJOON WANTS TO TALK ABOUT WEED

hobi: life is a downward spiral noting matters we are all slowly dying the government hates us money is worthless drugs are all around our water is running out

jk: where is it running out of

let’s catch it

y/n: tae was being super weird right?

hobi: super shy

namjoom: what’s new

hobi: new hair

namjoon: stop

hobi: forgive me master

namjoon: i’m at my breaking point

jimin: breaking bad

jin: drugs?

jimin: it all links back to namjoon…

jk: omgggggg namjoon is this true……..

namjoon: LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE

—-

pls lmk if you like the twitter concept idk if i’m feeling her yet but if you guys are i will do more idk trying to be different 🙈

[hoodienanami]

if youre the kind of person who talks about how liberation movements dont need to be progressive about lgbt issues or women's rights bc all that can be worked out after the ppl they are fighting to liberate get their basic human rights yet whines and cries about south korean feminists being 'transphobic' then honestly i think you should die

im not denying that transgender ppl face extreme hardship in south korea. that absolutely is smth thats occurring and it must be addressed. but if youre criticizing the south korean feminist movement, which is a crucial liberation movement that is fighting to end the epidemic of extreme violent oppression of women within the nation, for transphobia and not the korean men who are the ones doing basically all of the violent transphobia against trans women over there then idk what to tell you besides that youre a misogynist

the situation in south korea for cis women is so dire. its beyond dire. its liberation or death/rape/torture for them right now. they can work out any transphobia they may or may not have within their feminist movement after they win back cis women's rights not to be raped by their brothers and fathers and neighbors bc at the moment thats pretty much the only thing on their minds considering how widespread its become

[fleapit]

Look, a lot of the trans women "bitching" about trans men don't hate trans men, and I won't deny that you probably face different strains of transphobia than us. The issue lies in that trans men often wield intracommunity privilege over trans women and many refuse to recognize that. Worse, it's been weaponized against trans women seen as undesirable far too many times. I know you're a good dude, I just ask that you think a little critically about why the divide exists and listen to women's grievances rather than boil it down to bitching.

nothing i say is anti trans women. i love trans women. some of my best friends in the entire fucking world are trans women and i take every chance i can to uplift them and to support them. my beef is NOT with trans women. it's about people- ANY person, regardless of if they're trans or not, regardless of if they're a woman or not- saying that trans men do not face oppression both in and outside of the queer community - mocking and denying our experiences, making fun of ANY word we coin to describe it, and acting like were just trying to earn pity points by complaining.

this is NOT me saying that trans women oppress trans men and i have literally never said that. i have never said that trans women have any privilege over trans men- and im not saying you're accusing me of that, anon, but people have in the past.

i think that every single argument about why trans men have privilege over trans women is either misconstrued or perpetuated by bad actors and terfs trying to divide the community. we do NOT have it any better than trans women do, we do NOT suddenly gain 'male privilege' when we socially transition, and while i do understand women's grievances, it is NOT FAIR to accuse RANDOM TRANS MEN of oppressing you/having privilege over you just because we are hyper-invisible and you do not see the harm that comes to our community.

we are ALSO run off this website. just nobody talks about it. we are ALSO murdered, raped, abused. just nobody talks about it- and if they do, we are women in the news. women in reports. women in statistics. even historically evident transmascs are CONSTANTLY erased and reduced down to 'lying about their gender' because it was safer to pass as a man, or being lesbians. even when the person themselves says in manuscripts and letters and historical records that they identify solely as a man. we are easy targets. extremely easy targets. nobody will defend us but ourselves - and in turn, we have to be everyone else's defenders, or we are worth nothing in the eyes of the community and the world.

we are NEVER taken seriously as men, so to say that we have inherent male privilege- and ESPECIALLY inherent privilege over our trans siblings- is disingenuous at best and dangerous at worst. it erases any concept of intersectionality, of how every trans person's experience is different because of differing factors- identifying as a woman or a man is not the be-all end-all of oppression. our abuse is systemic, and it targets all of us, no matter how we identify, because our transness is seen as undesirable regardless.

any infighting we partake in is just an engineered distraction so they can slaughter us easier.

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

changing the sex marker on your id without even having to medically transition is so crazy like what do you mean there is a risk of „outing“. you haven’t even transitioned. its more confusing when you are clearly a feminine man/a masculine woman and then it says female/male on your id respectively. one of the dumbest things the trans movement is successfully pushing for.

i feel like homelessness, the sex industry and the actual discrimination, violence and harrassment gender non conforming people face (whether trans or not) and the resulting mental issues should be the focus of trans activism? you know, the actual marginalisation? im all for advocating housing and shelter projects and general accommodations for trans/gender dysphoric people and special work protection etc but instead the focus is on changing your birth certificate, denying material reality/sanctioning people who insist that sex matters, „misgendering“ and bashing feminism that is centering women, giving kids puberty blockers and generally promoting transitioning not as a last resort but the ultimate solution to gender dysphoria even though homophobia, body dysmorphia and misogyny as well as porn are the biggest driving forces.

no wonder liberal feminists love trans activism, it is just as superficial, useless and even harmful to the group they claim to advocate for. this shows especially in how they tend to support and defend the sex industry despite both women and gay and trans identified men being overrepresented and harmed, individually and as a group.

[doberbutts]

hey so feel free to delete this if its inappropriate/not the right time to share it

i’m a trans woman and (obviously) i can’t get pregnant, but i did get sexually assaulted by some guys trying to show was one of them. and also having an m marker has caused issues with trying to access resources and shit.

idk this isnt the same thing and all but my point is that im standing with u as some random trans woman with vaguely parallel experiences and im sorry to hear its somehow even worse & more likely for some of yall.

I wanr to preface this with a disclaimer, to get things out of the way first.

I am not trying to say that trans women do not experience devastating sexual assaults. They do. Quite often. Though to me, even once is too often. Rape and sexual assault are terrible, awful things. It's horrible that anyone has been made to go through this.

Nor am I trying to say that your M marker doesn't get in the way of things. When it comes to the domestic violence you experience, or the homelessness rates, or a determination of what prison you go to (esp since y'all are more likely to be wrongfully accused and arrested), or the various aspects of your own reproducive healthcare, your agab and gender marker is absolutely used as a weapon against you.

The question was asked for a unique example. Unfortunately, the conversation around reproductive rights is much different for me than it is for you. But it's also much different for me than for cis women and cis men as well. Those without a functional uterus cannot get pregnant. Those who cannot get pregnant are not forcibly married off to be raped until pregnant as a means of detransition and correction. This misogyny we share with cis women.

However an added aspect of that is that if this happens after we've changed our legal documents, an additional layer of transphobia occurs when insurances and doctors see our M or X markers and deny us care out of hand. Now we are stuck with a pregnancy we don't want and constant reminder of what happened to us, or a huge medical bill with devastating financial consequences.

And that's just for those who got out safety- for those who rely on shelters, again the choice becomes detransition for safety at a woman's shelter, or struggle in silence as a man. That, we share with you, though for different reasons.

A unique interection of transphobia and misogyny specifically experienced by trans men was asked for. That is what I provided. Much like how in Crenshaw's essays one could not provide a complete understanding of "because woman" or "because black" because neither would show the full picture of "because black woman", it is not possible to describe this fully as "because trans " or "because man" because the complete "because trans man" must be provided.

I am of the opinion that there is very little "unique" about oppression- mostly that the various points of intersection change its face. In other words, I think trans men share a lot with trans women, and I don't think that's a bad thing. I also think that doesn't disclude something from earning its own name or having its own place to be talked about.

I have hesitated to post those statistics because they can so easily be twisted to say "trans women don't experience these things" or "trans men have it worse". But, a look at the graphs say the first isn't true, it just happens at a statistically less rate. The second, well, I personally don't think it's useful to quantify who has it worse. I once was in that mindset, apologizing to my mentor (an older trans woman) for complaining about my problems because obviously she had it so much worse.

She told me she doesn't like to think about it like that. For her, she would rather be raped than killed. For me, I would rather be killed than raped. Who has it "worse" depends entirely on perspective. Murder and rape are both terrible crimes to be a victim of. Rather than weighing this violence in a scale, more effort should be put into stopping it from happening in the first place. I think she was very wise. I'm lucky to have known her.

I'm sorry that happened to you. I would like to reach across the table and take your hand, to walk forward into the future together. I think we are stronger when united in this world that hates us. You are my sister. We may fight like siblings, but you're still family.

[noonajoe]

Marrying best friend (Bokuto Koutarou x Reader)

"In the end, its you"

Pairing: Bokuto x Reader

Word Count: 581

©noonajoe (Published on 24 March 2023 - 11:31 Bangkok Time) this story is not going to be sold, modified, or translated in any manner.

“Marry me, Y/N,” he said

“Huh?” you startled at his proposal, it's a sudden one because they just meet again after 2 years of lost contact. You met him again because of his mother's funeral, comfort him because he desperately called you, need you in his griefing.

“You heard me, let's get married”, he grabbed her hands. Where they are in the middle of eating lunch.

You keep seeing his eyes, trying hard to seek unsureness in Bokuto's eyes. His glance is full of confidence, he never showed this side before, and it almost scared you away, “Bokuto, we just… meet again for 4 months, and my family-” he cuts you off.

“But knowing each other for 10 years, I’m enough playing around”

“Seeing you as manager when Im playing volleyball at 16, studying hard together to get to university at 18, punching your bastard ex-boyfriend at 19, my depressed era dumped by 2 girls at 21, helping me through hell when I’m jobless at 23, we fought because of my issues and we lost contact for 2 years yet I still thinking about you, at 25 my mom passed away you are the only one I want to appear to bury my sadness. Since then you cook and visit me for months, when I turned 26 you supported me to go to international matches. I may have been with other girls but in the end, it’s you. You have always been a home for me. You are the real love, I chose you, my heart chose you, and can't be replaced by anyone else” he confessed.

You tried to release your hand from his grip, “I don't want to break our friendship, Kou… It will be different”

He smiled, and frowned simultaneously, looking down at the dining table, “Y/N. I was thinking the same thing years ago. I'm really sorry but in the end, I felt love, and I can't deny it anymore after 10 years…”

You kinda love him too, you know? But somehow skipping the dating phase, and jumping over to the marriage step is a big deal to be settled, even though you have faith to be partners in the future, “Are you serious about this? Kou, marriage will be more difficult”

“I'm prepared for everything, I will take responsibility to take care of you. I will help you pay your family debts, I will comfort you when your anxiety occurs, and I’m ready to walk to the future. When we get married, I'm willing to go through progress together until you can consider me as a real husband, even if it takes years”

“I know I’m clumsy, I’m selfish sometimes, maybe I’m too dumb compared to other men, easily having a bad mood, but I’m proud when you told me my clumsines salways lightens up your days. I’m willing to learn, and face the future together as long as it’s with you”

You looked at him, willing to say yes but your energy has been taken too much to answer this proposal right now, “I’ll give you my answer tomorrow, is that ok?” you smiled, indicating a positive response to him.

"Take your time, Y/N. I'll wait for your answer tomorrow" he smiled.

Ultimately, he married you with a small party with your friends, only inviting the closest family and his volleyball team members. Every time people congratulate him, he proudly says, "I'm marrying my best friend in the whole wide world"

[sukirichi]

my biggest issue with dtd is the fact that SUNA IS JUST SO FUCKING ANNOYING (not your writing, just him) like wdym you have an issue with your wife going on a trip with your mistresses husband? you think she’s gonna cheat? you think she’ll do exactly what you’re doing?

also he’s just so confusing. like you LOVEEEE your wife but you’re still fucking that idiom chick or whatever. men are so dense, it’s like he takes yn’s actions at face value and can’t see her inner turmoil where she is very much still in love with him. he plays into the cocky “i can’t let you go” role but he’s so blinded by his jealousy over her friendly nature with his brothers, that he can’t see that - even though she’s trying to make friends - she’s trying to forget about the pain suna’s causing her.

i will say though, i think him being forced to stay away from his brothers during his younger years played a huge role in why he is the way he is. i don’t wanna say he was raised spoiled, but i feel like to an extent the queen maybe kept affirming him “everything in this kingdom is yours” or gave him gifts to make up for the fact that he has no social skills with family, and that’s led to this situation where as an adult he still believes he can get everything he wants.

ORRRR, my final theory. (i’m so sorry my brain is fried i can’t remember iris’ mother’s name.) i think her name was kate? but i genuinely feel like she’s the ultimate puppet master. she’s playing suna, she’s playing iris, she’s playing the whole kingdom. it’s a game of chess and she’s so close to checkmate. i don’t know what her ultimate goal would be, im assuming it’s that whole “if /I/ can’t become queen, then you must do it in my place.” like those mum’s who live vicariously through their child star kids… if it turns out iris’ mum was the issue the whole time then i MAY feel a little bad for iridium, but i still don’t like her.

one final thing, IM SO WEAK OH MY GOD, i get why yn isn’t over şuna im not even joking, i hate him but id be on my hands and knees begging for him to just help fix our marriage. unless…. he’s being blackmailed to be iris’ affair partner…. 👀

wait — i’m cooking… WHAT IF HES BEING BLACKMAILED AND HIS BROTHERS ARE THE ONES IN DANGER?? like he never got to grow with them, but maybe he feels if he saves them from this he will be part of the silly drawings?? and the blackmail theory might work, i have a feeling if he’s gonna be betrayed by a brother, it’s going to be through sensitive information being given to iris’ mother so that it can be used against him and the royal family? idk i lost my theory half way through LOL

-shhh anon

you’re so real for that, suna is one big (misunderstood, but still!) asshole here 😭 also i get you, canon sunarin is PERFECT and is a total baby, he would never <3 HELP NOT THE IDIOM CHICK I’M CACKLING SPSPS

also also yes! you’re right! jealousy blinds him sm that he can’t realize that the princess is friendly and she gets along well with everyone - even with the stoic ushijima and tooru (who shamelessly says he doesn’t like anyone) she’s overall a very likeable person, but bcos rin is insecure n jealous, he assumes she’s immediately replacing him OR that his brothers are out to woo her. i mean, some of them would, but you catch my drift. it’s really just hypocritical of him that he wanted someone his family would like, and when they do like her, he’s like 🤨⁉️ and your theories ooh, very interesting 👀 i can’t confirm nor deny the effects of suna’s upbringing to him but we will have suna’s childhood + backstory in ch11!

iridium, i’m gone lmfao 😭 i’m like part laughing out loud and part nodding at everything you say. kate is, well... she’s a mystery pretty much to everyone, and so is iris. i kinda wrote it that way because i wanted iris’ role in the series to slowly unveil itself. ALSO NO I GET YOU i see sunarin fanarts and i CRUMBLE. lowkey i hate the way i wrote him to be an antagonist in his own story because it’s so hard to like him but also i like the canon sunarin sm so it’s hard 😭 i’m so torn between wanting to stick to his dtd characterization and just making him an irresistible guy :( but maybe i could do both? let’s see. BUT IK HE’S JUST SO QBSKWKW i do have to give him a winning card though, so suna will have more scenes in the future where we might just hope he’d be the endgame. and that final theory hello ?! again, i can’t say much BUTTTT i can say for sure, suna does actually want to be part of the drawings </3 he wishes he had his own section in omi’s library too :(

anyways thank you sm for taking the time to share with me your thoughts, i really appreciate it 🥺💫 and i’d love to hear more of your theories bcos dare i say... you’re close to cracking the code on some of them 👀

[butchmartyr]

Apologies I phrased that very poorly, transfem/otherwise AMAB (not all AMAB nonbinary/genderqueer people identify as transfeminine which is why i use agab, but TMA would be more appropriate!) GQ experiences are different enough from AFAB (etc etc) or TME transgender ones to classify them as different things? Lumping both together under “transgender” widens the experience the term captures. the experience of transmisogyny is 90% of transphobia, I don’t believe transmascs face any systemic discrimination aside from reactive misogyny before passing, and most have extremely different experiences from transfems: Are they similar enough to be recognized as transgender in the same way? Or would another term be more appropriate. Something I’ve been thinking on for a while

ahh, i see, thanks for elaborating. while i get your meaning, i would disagree. i think its certainly true that trans experiences range pretty broadly across the spectrum and that transmisogyny is really extreme and probably the most numerous example of transphobia, but im not sure id go so far to say that it is wholly representative of transphobia; although id get pretty close, a lot of transphobia and bias is influenced heavily by transmisogyny or other generalized fear of transfemininity/failed masculinity, like a lot lot.

moreover, i worry that this kind of analysis could lead to overfocusing on some aspects of gender, and losing sight of other vital key parts to how gender is actively lived and enforced (such as class, race, culture, whole milieu). i also want to push back a bit on the "transmascs dont face systemic discrimination" because i just think its too black and white since they definitely do (not mentioning other axes of oppression here, though you should when thinking this out because systemic discriminations interact in many ways with transness), just sometimes less or in different ways than transfems/tma folks. as an example, trans women have been observed on avg to be paid 60% less than the avg worker (horrendous), trans men arent much above that being observed at 70% (referencing this). sure the gap sucks and is evidence of the privilege that comes with not being tma, but they’re also still getting screwed, right? i also dont think we need to chalk these issues they face up to misogyny imo, i think its more accurate to describe it as transphobia as its denying their worth based on their divergent gender

tl;dr, while this feels a little baity, transmascs are definitely also discriminated against and while they can (and do) perform terrible transmisogyny to transfems and completely not understand their transphobia due to their own unique trans situation (many such cases), as a whole we have more in common with each other than against each other, most importantly the value of trans liberation and a cuter future where gender isnt so big of a deal. but to be clear if you're a snake about trans women and fail again and again to confront and learn from your transmisogynistic biases, you are poisoning the well by spreading such ideas in the community

[pansyboybloom]

asking this off anon bc im going to try and sound as genuine and non-argumentative as possible because i just genuinely want to know your views and such, and im just trying to have an actual conversation about this instead of being a dick bc that helps nobody

in a reply to an ask you said that theres no "systemic" transmisandry/transandrophobia/etc- what would you call the specific act of trans men being denied reproductive care such as abortions/birth control/etc because of their "newfound maleness"? is that not a specific type of transphobia that only transgender men face?

another thing is that there have been black butches/trans men (@/doberbutts is someone who has been most vocal about it) who have expressed how differently theyve been treated when being seen as black women vs black men- im on mobile so its difficult for me to find rn but he had a post where there were dozens upon dozens of black folks sharing their stories about that experience. is that not an aspect of transandrophobia?

theres also the hyperinvisibility of trans men, the "little girls cutting off their breasts" rhetoric, jk rowlings entire terf wars essay which just misgenders and belittles autistic trans men, and thats just off the top of my head for things that specifically affect trans men

i see many people say that "transandrophobia is just transphobia" or "its just transphobia and misogyny" and it bothers me that instead of giving examples of targetted transphobia against trans men, a lot of folks who disagree with that will just say "well you saying that is transandrophobia!". which isnt an actual argument! so thats why i wanted to say something bc its not something i see brought up very often.

okay as i have said on every ask , i just like to establish first each time: i am schizoaffective and have a very hard time articulating myself, so i promise none of what i say is aggressive and if it comes off as so that is not my intent, my brains just fucked. im gonna break this down into chunks to hopefully make it easier to manage, as i can be uh. long winded haha. this got LONG so it's going under a cut!

in a reply to an ask you said that theres no "systemic" transmisandry/transandrophobia/etc- what would you call the specific act of trans men being denied reproductive care such as abortions/birth control/etc because of their "newfound maleness"? is that not a specific type of transphobia that only transgender men face?

so in a (non-mean! ) way i actually laughed at this one bc im dealing with this right now. i want to get my legal sex changed, but I've also been dealing with some down there stuff and a potential cyst and random bleeding despite like 5 years on t, so i need an ultrasound and repeated visits to a gyno. so, i need to use insurance, but if i change my sex, they won't cover it. and i have another, longer-term problem: i want bio kids, badly. but i also want phallo. to get phallo, i need to have lived legally as a male for a given number of years, but in getting pregnant, ill have to deal with much harder insurance problems with an M on my certificate. So, i understand that these are very, very real problems! However, medical malpractice and discrimination aren't a trans male-only issue.

Trans women also deal with medical things being denied to them. One particularly horrid example is cancer screenings. Trans women can get breast cancer and prostate cancer, but have a hard time getting screening, or even treatment, for one or the other (or both!) covered depending on what's on their birth certificate/legal sex. So, this is discrimination we absolutely share, just in different ways. That's why I would refer to it as medical transphobia as a whole.

Also, I would argue it is tied to misogyny, not 'misandery'. I think a lot of what trans men face is, as i call it, 'lingering' misogyny. Because we are still viewed as women by many, we are treated as such and are impacted by their sexism, like medical abuse and malpractice.

Now this isn't the same as transmisogyny. That particular term was coined by Julia Serano and means (this is a mouthful, get ready) "sexism [towards trans women] that arises out of a synergetic interaction between oppositional sexism [sexism that is rooted in the presumption that female and male are rigid, mutually exclusive, “opposite” sexes, each possessing a unique and non-overlapping set of attributes, aptitudes, abilities, and desires] and traditional sexism. It accounts for [...] why trans women face [a specific form] of sexualization and misogyny." basically, in layman's terms, a type of sexism that comes from the interaction between a very specific, binarist and essentialist form of transphobia and 'basic' misogyny.

(that's another reason why i dont like 'transmisandery/androphobia' as the 'opposite' or 'male form' of transmisogyny. transmisogyny doesn't mean misogyny trans women face. it is far more complex than that!)

another thing is that there have been black butches/trans men (@/doberbutts is someone who has been most vocal about it) who have expressed how differently theyve been treated when being seen as black women vs black men- im on mobile so its difficult for me to find rn but he had a post where there were dozens upon dozens of black folks sharing their stories about that experience. is that not an aspect of transandrophobia?

this is something i won't speak much on, as I am white, so i feel my opinion isn't really appropriate to give. but it does remind me-- absolutely not saying it's the same, or to the same degree of severity, just reminds me-- of how I've been seen differently as a fat person. i am treated with vastly different versions of disgust, sexualization, expectation, aggression, etc as a fat man now than i did as a fat woman-- especially in getting treatment for anorexia and bulimia. but i feel like defining that as 'male-specific fatphobia' creates a binary that grossly oversimplifies the culture and systematic abuse that causes fatphobia. once again, not the same as anti-Blackness, not the same degree of abuse in any way shape, or form, especially since there is a lot of cultural and sociological context there that i am not privy to.

theres also the hyperinvisibility of trans men, the "little girls cutting off their breasts" rhetoric, jk rowlings entire terf wars essay which just misgenders and belittles autistic trans men, and thats just off the top of my head for things that specifically affect trans men

i have talked about most of these and the narrative of the delusional little girl before, and have a quote by Julia Serano (and two other trans men quoted inside it) that i really like, so I'll post some of that here.

The quote:

There is most certainly a connection between the values given between men and women in our culture, and the media's fascination with depicting trans women rather than trans men [...] Although the number of people transitioning in each direction is relatively equal these days, media coverage would have you believe there is a huge disparity in the populations of trans men and women. Jamison Green, a trans man who authored a 1994 report that led to the city of San Francisco's decision to extend its civil rights protections to include gender identity, once said this about the media coverage of that event: "Several times at the courthouse, when the press was doing interviews, I stood by and listened as reporters inquired who wrote the report. And when I was pointed out to them as the author, I could see them looking right through me, looking past me to find the man in a dress who must have wrote the report and who they would want to interview. More than once, a reporter asked me incredulously 'You wrote the report?' They assumed that because of my 'normal' appearance, that I wouldn't be newsworthy." Indeed. The media tend not to notice, or outright ignore, trans men because they are unable to sensationalize them the way they do trans women without bringing masculinity itself into question. And in a world where modern psychology was founded on the teaching that 'all little girls suffer from penis envy,' most people think striving for masculinity is a perfectly reasonable goal. Author and sex activist, Patrick Califia, who is a trans man, addresses this in his 1997 book 'Sex Changes: The Politics of Transgenderism'. "It seems the world is still more titillated by a man who wants to be a woman than it is by a woman who wants to become a man. The first is scandalous, the latter is taken for granted. This reflects the very different levels of privilege men and women have in our society. Of course, women would want to be men, the general attitude seems to be, and of course, they can't, and that's that." - Julia Serano (and quoted, Jamison Green and Patrick Califia) on the relationships between trans women and men's visibility in the media, as part of her essay, Skirt Chasers: Why the Media Depicts Trans Revolution in Lipstick and Heels, found in chapter 2 of her book, Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Feminism and the Scapegoating of Femininity (2nd. Edition)

The two posts:

in regards to that last quote: i think that comes down to why i don't believe the reason trans men are punished for 'becoming' men is because of hate for the masculinity they are becoming. a trans woman is punished for leaving behind manhood and treated with disgust for adopting femalehood because purposefully abandoning the ideal and powerful in society (men) to become the despised and weak in society (women) is 'unbelievably unnatural' and dangerous to the structure of society. the lamb eating the lion, the child killing the parent. not the same exactly, but i think it's a similar reason as to why feminine gay/gnc/etc men are called 'pansies' and 'sissies' and such, they are abandoning masculinity for femininity which is Disgusting and Wrong. Not the same obviously, but coming from the same general hierarchy.

trans men, on the other hand, are reaching for that 'ideal'. we are trying to leave behind the despised and weak, and that's so silly, so pathetic, you stupid little girl, you really think you can be the top in society? that's why radfems and similar 'feminists' say we are betraying our sex; they see it as leaving behind safety (women) for the enemy (men). to them, we are leaving them to rot in alone womanhood while we try to become the privileged ones stepping on their necks. this is also why the narrative surrounding trans women is predatory and sexual-- women only have power through sex, so a man would only want to leave manhood for sexual gratification-- while the narrative for us is that we are pathetic and tricked. women are stupid and delusional if they believe they could ever leave behind our oppression for privilege, so obviously it must be outside influence to give us such ridiculous ideas.

and

and like, building on top of last post: that's why i don't see me being discriminated against as a trans man as something uniquely tied to anti-maleness / misandery/ androphobia / etc, but instead, just a facet of transphobia and misogyny (as well as ableism and such for me personally, but im talking bigger picture). I'm seen as a ruined woman because i betrayed gender roles. to them, im not transitioning because i am, ya know, actually a man, instead, i'm purposefully clawing my way out of the pit and hightailing it to the top, which is threatening. society doesn't like when women (trans men) are suddenly trying to be a class that is protected and privileged. im not transitioning to get access to privilege, but that's what it looks like to a transphobe, be them conservative man or radfem. im scary because im rocking the boat, not because im masculine, and they hate me because im showing their binary and hierarchy are false, not because im masculine. im stupid and delusional and a failure and a silly little girl and a bamboozled idiot tricked by trans women as well as a ruined woman and a rotten woman because of misogynistic binary power structures, not because im a dude. ya know? anyways, what holds me back is the gender binarist, cissexist, transphobic, and misogynistic stew that affects all trans people, just differently on a systemic and individual level

like i said earlier, a lot of my beliefs boil down to, we are seen as women and therefore face 'lingering' misogyny, which combines with the sex binary, sex essentialism, and cissexism-- which make up transphobia, in my personal definition of it-- to describe our experiences. not as anything having to do with being male, simply not being female, shattering the notion of what a woman can and should be, and leaving behind a broken hierarchy along with deviant, rotten women who must be punished.

as for the autistic manifesto jkr went on, i know of it but have never read the whole thing and, frankly, as someone who is avoiding college hw right now by doing this, i really don't have the time to. im open to reading it in the future and contacting you to share my thoughts if you'd like? no pressure!

(also, seasonal depression is kicking my butt and im not sure if doing so would be great for my mental health at the moment. reading 'the transgender craze seducing our daughters' almost broke me lol. like i said, ill read it if i can and get back to you. don't want to speak on it if i haven't read it, ya know?)

Anyways, I hope this helped some? I did my best haha. if you have any other questions, PLEASE don't hesitate to ask

[salted-caramel-tea]

the mcc misogyny discussion always misses out on scott smajor though. he is the one who makes the teams. he is the one enabling the community to hold the women to ridiculously high standards by balancing them as s tiers before they are and giving them weaker teams. why was he giving jojo significantly weaker teams than purpled every time? why is he balancing hannah as if she’s s tier when she isnt?

not to mention the amount of women that are just used as nerfs. tina niki puffy gee etc. and SO many women he invites to the event are significantly weaker than the men so he’s like YEAH WOO WOMEN GAMERS! but only if they can be used as nerfs. <- because why were women who dont play minecraft invited to the event before jojo and hannah who are actual cracked minecraft players.

yes scott has to handle the entire event and no i’m not saying he’s awful and evil and deserves to be harassed but his subtle misogyny NEEDS to be addressed. and its not even all that surprising because white gay men often conflate themselves with women when the struggles are very different.

ya your right a lot of the representation of women in mcc does come down to the creation and development process. but I felt that was a different conversation than fan behaviour bc there's a lot more to consider . let it be known rn I am a Scott major enjoyer I watch his empires and life series povs.

on one hand, the teaming situations are routinely ignored by the Scott, even though women such as Tina have been asked for specific teamings they've been denied- but in a way where we as the viewer might not notice because shes been teamed with at least one s tier player and her friends each time. but Tina has made it clear she feels like a different teaming formula would benefit her better.

in terms of Scott only inviting lower skilled female players we cant say that for certain. we don't know who has applied for the mcc waiting list, how long they've been there who might've turned down invites for the event etc etc. another thing is that the players are usually selected from a marketing perspective- who is popular, what teams will generate discussions, what will bring in more viewers and keep the viewers hyped in the space between team announcements and the event. so Im not sure we can say theyre invited only if they can be used as nerfs but more so their connections between current players and their prevalence in trending game related events

there is a lot of issues with mcc teaming that need to be addressed because even if women aren't invited with the intention of a buffer they do often find themselves as being the balancing point of a team or as the makeup of a weaker team in order to ensure a specific ranking order (mainly non canon events) its something that can easily be brushed off as tier rank balancing but its also creating an environment of disdain for women because everyone assumes that the women will be the weak point of the team and in so face an insane amount of negativity from creators and community because they tend to have lesser followings than male cc's around the same skill level and so are not as heavily considered in marketable team makeups or defended by fans

[aritamargarita]

ATTITUDE || 013

im sorry if this chapter is kinda shorter than expected. im sleepy and i would’ve put a timeskip to add the next show but it makes sense to wait on it. promise i’ll make it up to you, time out with [name] will return in the next chapter!

i feel like reader is getting sassier every time i write her—also i don’t even like jerry lawler but im going to deal with it for the sake of commentary.…

The match wasn’t too bad so far. You were already a bit in and you focus your attention to the ring. Currently, The Rock had just hit Kurt Angle with a Samoan drop.

You could feel the crowd becoming antsy, even chanting ‘Rocky!’ every second they got. ‘Wow.’ You begin, adjusting your headphones. ‘They’re really coming alive tonight, huh? Hey, Austin! Who’s side are you on tonight??’

It got to the point where both men were crawling over to their respective corners, reaching out their hands for a tag.

He looks over at you with a dumbfounded look. You should know better than to even ask. ‘No one’s side but my own.’

‘It sounds you’re supporting The Rock.’ You conclude. He starts to speak, but you quickly cut him off. ‘Hey, viewers at home! Austin’s supporting Rock! Can you belie—‘

‘Shut your damn yapper!’ It’s not like he denied it either. ‘I told ya’ who’s side I’m on. You need to be put in time out.’

‘Time out? What am I, 10?? You can’t put me on time out!’

The two of you go back and forth like that for a while, but as soon as The Rock makes his hot tag to Kane, it all went out the window. The crowd erupts in cheers at the Big Red Machine taking care of Kurt.

To the point where you kinda felt bad. Of course, just for him. There’s zero sympathy for Jericho. It’s why you smile with glee when Kane takes him down with a Big Boot after trying to interfere.

So this is Kane, huh? He was monstrous. A force of power. For some reason you felt captivated by his strength.

‘[Name], now you and Y2J have your issues. But there’s rumors that say you two are involved with each other.’ JR says. ‘How do you feel about that?’

You look over in disgust. ‘Ew, don’t ever assault my ears like that again. I should be the last person you should even be asking about being involved with Jericho.’ You gag, covering your mouth. ‘I almost threw up!’

Austin agrees with you. ‘I’m right behind ya’. Let loose right on this table here. There’s a stick so far up his ass I bet he can taste it. Between him, little Rocky, and Angle, I’m not sure who I hate more..’

You decide to piggyback off of him. ‘I don’t mind anyone in the ring besides Jericho. I hope he loses tonight. I’ll laugh in his face as soon as that bell rings. If you open a dictionary, he’d be the definition of egotistic.’

‘It really is the battle of egos in the ring!’ Jerry nods.

Back and forth, Jericho and Kurt tag each other in for a double team. The Rock has yet to be tagged in.

‘This isn’t looking too good,’ You say. ‘I don’t know—‘ As soon as you say that, Kane recovers and Irish whips Kurt into the corner. Kurt runs right back into him and Kane quickly power slams him into the mat.

Now, both men were crawling to get a tag. ‘I’ll eat my words!’ You chime. The both of them make their respective tags and they switch, with The Rock immediately getting the upperhand. ‘Wow! Rock’s on fire!’

Austin just rolls his eyes. ‘I hope he burns ta’ death.’

Completely dominating the competition, The Rock goes even further and flips Kurt into the ring, then tosses him out. He then hits Jericho with a Spinebuster.

But then, he starts trying to apply a Sharpshooter! You had to stand up out of your seat, excited to see it. It had to be one of your favorite submission moves. He could really win with this one.

Oops, nevermind. Kurt comes back and slams his forearm into the back of The Rock’s head. Kane was there to take care of things.

Kane picks Kurt up and tosses him out of the ring once more, the latter slamming onto the ground in front of color commentary. Kane then gets out of the ring, hopping onto the floor.

All you can do is stare, and as he’s about to deal more damage to Kurt, he turns his attention to the commentary table. He’s looking straight at you and you stare back.

You wave. He doesn’t do anything back. He just stares.

Austin somehow had mistaken that Kane was looking at him. ‘The hell are you lookin’ at, ya damn jobbernowl?!’ Just for extra measure, he gives him the middle finger. It’s like he WANTED to go to anger management, jeez.

The Rock finally hits Jericho with a DDT and pins him. And that’s it! That’s the match!

You give a round of applause. You’re elated that Jericho lost tonight, it’s what he deserves. You were so excited that you took your headphones off, hop out of your seat, and grab The Rock’s title.

‘The hell is she up to??’ Austin was confused by your actions, taking off his own headphones.

You reach the title through the ropes with a smile. The Rock looks at you warily, but slowly takes the title. You smile up at him. You could tell he’s confused.

Suddenly, a hand on your shoulder pulls you back.

“What’re ya’ doing givin’ him the title?!” Austin yells.

“Um?! I was just being nice!”

He’s already heard that excuse. “What a load of bologna!” He waved his hand at you. “We’re gettin’ outta here!”

Was it really time to go? You had one last thing to do before you left. “Hold on!” You wanted to rub Jericho’s loss in his face.

But before that, you could see the final stare off between Austin and The Rock. Everyone was definitely anticipating something happening between them, but you didn’t want to stay long enough to witness.

You quickly roll in the ring, leaning down so Jericho can hear you. “HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE A LOSER?! HUH?! HUH?!”

He flinched at your words, but before he could grab at your leg to pull you down, you jump back. No way he’d take you down that easy.

But, hey, you have to remember what Debra said. You couldn’t antagonize him. You had to be the bigger person..

And you damn sure would try your hardest. Maybe if you walked away now, she’d reconsider your classes!

You do so, rolling out of the opposite side of the ring and wait for Austin to meet you there. It’s time to get the hell out of here.

HOTEL ROOM // 8:23 PM

The phone rings, so you roll over in bed to pick it up. “Hello?”

“Hey.” Lita’s voice came from the other side of the line, her voice slightly tired. “What’re you up to?”

“Nothing.” You respond. “What, are you going to ask what I’m wearing next?”

Your words bring a laugh out of Lita. “Hilarious. I was just curious on how things went with Jeff yesterday?”

“Things got interesting. Promise to not tell anyone?”

“Of course.”

“Well, I kissed him when you guys left, but that’s all. We did nothing other than that.”

Lita gasps. “Really?? That’s why he was smiling like crazy the entire night...”

Thank god the room was a single suite. You weren’t sure what you’d do if this information got into the wrong hands. Your clothes were neatly folded once more, this time with no shaky hands! You were proud of yourself.

“Oh yeah? He was smiling the whole time?” It brought a smile to your own face. “That’s nice. But enough about me. What’s up with you and Team Extreme??”

Lita sighs. “Still unresolved. I don’t know what I’m going to do. All of us, all we’ve been doing is fighting and I don’t know how to fix it….’

“Hmm..” You go into thought for a minute. How would you approach a situation like that anyway? It’s hard to talk after all that yelling. You’ve witnessed one argument, and it’s safe to say you don’t want to see anymore. “You know, Debra is forcing me AND Austin into anger management. On that note, maybe you should look into couples therapy. You and Matt.”

Lita’s just starts to snicker. “Oh wow. I’m sorry—“ You could tell she was trying her hardest not to laugh. “You and none other than Stone Cold Steve Austin,” She says the name for a full effect, “..are going to anger management. That is something I never thought I’d hear.”

“It’s a shocker, isn’t it?” You say, rolling over to the nightstand. The cord had gotten stuck, so you had to untangle it. “We were forced, it’s not like we can go against Debra’s word.”

“She’s like your mom or something.”

“Definitely.”

“Hey, wait, you weren’t doing anything, right?“ Lita asks. You give her a “no”, and you could just tell there’s a smile on her face. “Good. We’re going to IHOP. What’s your room number?” A pancake addict in the making, it seems. “I still haven’t gotten any and I think it’d be a good way to talk. There’s a lot I need to tell you that I can’t say here.”

“And what better than doing it over a plate of pancakes, right? Sure, I’ll come with you.” You definitely had a lot to tell her, but you were pretty sure it was vice versa. Before you can talk with her anymore, the phone rings again. “Hold on, I’m getting another call.”

Momentarily trying to figure out what button was used to put someone on hold, you tap it quickly and hit the button to accept the next line. “Hello?”

“Evening, Nitro Girl.”

It’s Triple H. Or should you say Hunter? You were shocked to hear his voice again.

“Evening.” You greet back.

“Got anything new for me?”

“I don’t, unfortunately.” You sigh. “I’m surprised you’re calling me, what’s the deal?”

“I’m returning to the ring in about a week. I’ve already been making my rounds backstage. I’d like you to keep your eyes peeled and your ears open. I know there’ll be a lot of talk.” He said. “If Jericho or someone close to him has a blabber mouth, report back to me.”

You weren’t sure how you missed him tonight, but there’s always next time. “As if Jericho has any friends. His ego is so inflated I’m not sure there’s any room for them. But I’ll do what you ask.”

“Atta’ girl. That’s all I can ask for. Stephanie’s been acting….normal for the most part. Hasn’t talked about anyone else lately since I’ve mentioned coming back to wrestle. She seems excited.”

“That’s a given. You’re coming back to the ring. From what I’ve heard, you two were pretty unstoppable when it came to matches. She helped you out a lot.” It was true. Stephanie always interfered one way or another. You shrug slightly. “I’m sure business partners are out of the window.”

He’s silent for a minute, but before you can begin talking again, he goes first. “I’m still led to believe that she could be sleeping with someone else. You’d better get used to this, we’ll be calling very frequently from now on.”

Oh great! You’ll be talking to him for a while then. Especially if what he thinks turns out to be true.

“You know, I can think of maybe TWO people who definitely wouldn’t approve of this partnership…” You trail off, wrapping the phone cord around your finger.

“Then this is just our dirty little secret. I told you, nothing more, nothing less.”

“Well, what if there’s more?”

He seemed intrigued. “Go on.”

You’ll take your chances. You’ve already made your bed, it’s time to lie in it. Even if the accusations were false, you’d pretend like you never spoke to him. “You and I, how about we get even closer? I mean, if Stephanie’s possibly stepping out, why don’t you give her a taste of her own medicine? I mean, if your instincts are telling you the truth.”

“That’s cute. Listen, I’m only about business. I don’t normally stray past business relationships.”

“Unfortunate.”

“However, I may make an exc—“

Knocks at your door had made you get up out of bed. “Shoot. I’ve gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.” You don’t even give Hunter a chance to respond before you slam the phone onto the base. Getting up, you open the door.

Of course, It’s Lita that’s waiting for you, car keys in hand.

“You ready?”

You were in fact, not ready. Between having to throw something suitable on and haphazardly printing directions, you were a little off.

“[Name]?”

“Yeah?”

“…When you printed out those directions, are you sure they were to go to IHOP?” Lita asks. “Because right now, that looks like a Waffle House.”

“Waffle House?” You repeat. “What?” She stops the car momentarily, pulling over so she can read the directions herself. She points to the yellow sign first, then looks back to the paper.

“Yup. This says to Waffle House. What the hell did you do on the hotel computer? More importantly, how did you mess up?! International House of Pancakes and Waffle House aren’t the same thing!”

You just laugh. It’s all you can do. There’s always something getting in your way. No pancakes tonight!You two were already close to the end. “W-Why aren’t you laughing?”

“…Because it’s not funny.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know how that happened! I guess we’re eating waffles tonight. We’re already here.” You shrug, throwing your hands out defensively. Lita can only huff.

“Fine. But next time, I get to print the directions and you drive.” She pulls back into the street to enter the parking lot and all you can do is smile.

It’s only about 8:35. You’d probably be getting back to your room at a decent time! Not bad at all. You were pretty hungry, so you hoped they could cook fast.

You two entered the building and were seated quickly. It was sort of busy, but you liked hearing the chatter from nearby. It made you feel comfortable.

Lita takes a seat from across you. “I think me and Matt are done for a while…” She begins. “It’s just too much. I can’t deal with it right now. I feel like all he cares about is himself.”

“I told you, you’d better look into like, some type of therapy. It sounds like you guys are really going through it right now.”

Instead of laughing, she seems to mull over it. “Mmmm, I don’t know. I’m just tired of all the yelling. They’ve got another match coming up so I’m hoping this all goes away.”

“I could invite you to anger management.” Extending the offer to her could only make her scoff.

“Hell no.”

Once you two ordered your food, you felt like it was your turn to say what’s been on your mind. “You know remember who called on the hotel phone? You’ll never guess who it was.” You pause for dramatic effect. “..Triple H.”

“What??” Lita was definitely taken aback. She could remember it like it was yesterday. Funnily enough, it was him and Austin who had terrorized not only herself, but targeted both the Hardy Boys. Even Stephanie got in on it. And it’s not like you had a clue, you weren’t in the company yet. “Are you serious?”

You idly pick up your fork with a nod. “Yeah. Whole thing is, he thinks Stephanie is cheating or something. Now we’re like not-so-official business partners.”

Lita was all for taking Stephanie down. She was a thorn in her side last year for the Women’s Championship. The feud was mostly over, but she had a right to feel bitter. “Whatever you do, I’ll be supporting you.”

For some reason, you felt a bit surprised she didn’t protest. No doubts, no nothing. She just said she’ll support you. “Wow, okay.”

“And I’m sure Jeff will be right behind you.” She gives you a devilish smile, making you roll your eyes.

You weren’t entirely sure about that. “That was only a one time thing, I don’t think it’ll happen again. I’m sure Jeff was still pretty woozy from his last match and the one before.” You can only hope it’s the opposite.

Lita can only reply in a sing-song voice, mocking and mirroring yours from earlier that night. “I don’t think sooooo!”

Your food was set down on the table. After thanking the waiter, the only thing you could do was rub your forehead. “You’re a real piece of work.”

“I’m sure you love me anyway.“

reader + jeff is in fact, not a one time thing. *puts y’all in a tag team match*

i’ve always heard mapquest was used for directions back then…so staying true to the 2001 theme they had to use it LMAO

lita & reader are just fun to write together!! you gotta love team extreme. but im trying to think how to involve matt tbh he is a big meanie. and im sorry i have to say this but y’all gonna be like 😮 at one of the parts next chapter IM SOO SERIOUS it’s definitely in the works

[ask-serendipity-sky]

y'all do not know these men in real life, so pls clam down and stop inserting your opinions into how THEY FEEL about a situation

You all dont know them Irl so stop assuming, then continue to make assumptions about everything being fine behind the scenes and Jimin being ok with every sabogation 😃😃

Anon if Sky, who gave HER opinion is wrong, then YOUR opinion is wrong as well. No one knows what tf is really going behind the scenes and from what we get there will be always different opinions and analysis. One is not right than other unless confirmed by members. During FACE Fandom had 2 opinions : JM had all control over his album so he knows what promo he wants vs JM was sabogated by his own company. Both parties called each other names only for Jimin to come and say he was denied of MV and he felt like his promos was so short even after months of hardwork.

But did Jimin ever appeared sad or mad about it on cam ? Was he mad with yoongi, coz of whom his promos were cut in the first place, in concert videos ? No. No matter how strong he is, that boy doesn't know how to hate someone or even feel envious of others especially his bandmates. And ik this is the exact reason he's being taken advantage of by multiple people on multiple situations. I wish he'll stand up for his own things and demand what he wants but at the same time that is who Park Jimin is and im gonna love and support him in all decisions.

So saying someone was disappointed with the push JK gets especially by copy pasting Jimin's work is as valid as feeling it's all kumbaya.

Hi anon,

Ah yes! I had forgotten about the people who swore Jimin wanted his promo to be 9 days. I wonder what they are saying now.

And yes. Thank you. I appreciate you saying that. Not that any one will listen to a voice of reason because people have a problem seeing all sides of an issue.

Thanks for stopping by. I truly appreciate it.

I'll gift you some of my favorite Jimins for being so kind:

[asbestieos]

Rinniki or Tatsumi x Mayoi x HiMERU?

(struggling not to vibrate faster than the speed of light) hi hi hi h i h i h i h i h i h ich i hcivh k hvofnf do hosdnj DJDB!! GRHRBHRHRHR!!!!

rinniki

whatever they put in these two’s dynamics is pure crack i swear to god.. they make each other want to die.. they make each other want to live… when one wants to die, the other forces them not just to survive but also to live….. the tug of war they play is insane…… theyre in my mind in my breath in my blood 24 hours a day 7 days a week 4 weeks a month 12 months a year. they embarrass each other so bad, they make each other live life to its fullest, they drag each other out of hell by the hair and teeth. side note do you know how hard it is to do cpr? you have to literally injure another person to get their heart started again. rinniki is like that, theyd break each others ribs in (and for) a heartbeat if it meant the other would breathe for even one second more, theyd do whatever it takes to make sure the other stays alive and a part of their life. sorry im a little crazy over them! that last part was bc cupcakke’s cpr started playing (please dont listen to cpr if youre in public)

tatsuhimemayo

(TEARS THEM APART LIKE A DOGTOY) GRHERGRHRGHR!!! SLEEPER AGENT SHIP!!!!! theyre like a three-man four-legged race . like they all have to cooperate to keep this shit together. or more like himeru has to try not to die while entertaining the poly. i like it becos i imagine it starts with himeru trying really really hard to aggravate tatsumi by dating mayoi but tatsumi is like ‘its ok ^v^: we are his boyfriends in law. and i love you too its a win-win for me’ and himerus like NO.. but hes too deep in this shit to back out now!!! fuck it he ball!!! might as well speedrun it!!! steals mayois first kiss (read: tatsumayo have already kissed (himeru is even More Rageful becos HE has never snogged another man in his life and the first one he sucks face with is kazehaya's neurotic purse wife)) and hogs his attention and shit. tries to get that twig of a man jealous. not working!!! hes too much a saint!!! and the rage builds up in him.

meanwhile mayoi Can Totally Tell there is shit going on between tatsuhime and basically homestuck auspisticizes (mediates) between them (tatsumi is unawares / purposely ignorant of himeru's tatsunhatemail as expected of the man), and he starts to think of himeru as a fellow secretly deranged person (of course mayo considers himself way more sickening but there is a Kinship going on here) like HELLO he strangled his boyfriend thats classic Man With Issues behavior. pretty sick both the bad and rad way now he doesnt have to feel as bad about having insane thoughts because at least he has never strangled tatsumi (yet). tatsumi is here because who is he to deny two men when they offer their intimacies. where am i how long have i been typing. is my brain rot gushing out again is it hard to read does it make sense. is this something you enjoyed reading.(passes out)

honest opinion on ships ask game

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

another thing that confuses me about the feminist debate around „pretty privilege“/beauty bias is that i see the same women say „attractive women face problems because they’re attractive“ but „beauty is subjective/not tangible“ like which is it? because either there are attractive women and they face issues or attractiveness is not relevant because its less tangible than other (more severe) dimensions of inequality. and do they really face these issues due to being attractive or because theyre women? because i dont see attractive men face the same issues. i would call it misogyny.

its possible to face misogyny and yet have advantages in other regards - from what ive gathered regarding attractiveness this is mainly related to social acceptance, attractive people having an easier time fitting in and making friends and being treated preferentially on the job market (with the infamous exception of women being denied for being „too beautiful“ which i would again attribute to misogyny rather than attractiveness). which can help build self-esteem and mental health (which does not mean attractive people cant develop mental issues for other reasons) and impact material reality.

dont twist my words now because beauty bias and white supremacy are not even in the same realm and also cant be separated because racism influences beauty ideals and perception, but if you can acknowledge that white women profit from being white, and lightskin women profit from that compared to darkskin women, while still facing misogyny for being women, it should be possible to imagine that attractive women profit from their attractiveness but it can „backfire“ because of misogyny, like it can for white and lightskin women respectively (for example when they are fetishised for their whiteness or being white passing). misogyny is inescapable but it doesnt mean there arent different positions within the system of patriarchy. consider that misogyny even backfires on men despite them having male privileges (for example being sanctioned for being feminine). and if you can acknowledge that fat bias exists it should be possible to acknowledge beauty bias too?

im a bit sad how the debate is going because i see a lot of potential for solidarity here, but for that we first have to acknowledge that there are differences, that attractiveness or lack thereof does create inequality, but that we are more connected because we are women than we are separated by attractiveness. women sharing experiences how they are treated because of their looks is so important. attractiveness is weaponised to separate us. and i would also like to see acknowledged that attractiveness is not just femininity (sociocultural) but it plays a huge part. guess i just miss some more nuance because i see a lot of takes that either claim attractive women dont face misogyny or less attractive women dont face misogyny when in reality misogyny just takes different forms.

i feel like a lot of backlash comes from the difficulty of distancing ourselves from beauty as value, even as feminists. its just not socially acceptable to call someone unattractive. the experiences of average looking and unattractive women are often dismissed because „no woman is ugly“ while the experiences of attractive women are dismissed because the empty promise of beauty was drilled into our heads.

[rainbowpui]

bc i just saw a post about it.... as an autistic person theres something i have to say about "r-slur" discourse...

my feelings about "r-slur" discourse is that why is this the one slur that the affected population isnt allowed to reclaim? when i was working at starbucks they made us take a sensitivity training. the training gave examples of "unacceptable" behavior. in the example they used.... the first year i was there they SPECIFICALLY listed that it was an Autistic employee that was using the word about themself, and that this was still not allowed. the second year i got the training they SPECIFICALLY listed that it was an "intellectually disabled" employee that used the word about themself, and that this was still not allowed. why would they use THESE specific examples..... unless it obvious that a TON of the people who are supposedly being "protected" dont actually give a shit about that word being used. my other autistic coworker and i both commented on this bc we, as the "protected category", regularly violated this rule with eachother lol. why am * I * as the "protected category" not allowed to reclaim that word? because im too "stupid" to know better and need the ""normal"" people to tell me what i should or should not be offended by??? why is it only that word that i am not allowed to say but its allowed to call someone a moron?? i call myself a retard bc society still treats me like one. i am forced to choose between pursuing an official diagnoses and being able to get accommodations that i desperately need at times or being denied these accommodations bc i know that being officially diagnosed would mean that i can legally be paid less, that i can be denied the chance to adopt in the future, that i can be denied to right to immigrate to a number of countries. but if i bring this up i am told that CLEARLY i couldnt understand bc im not disabled "enough" to count. even though i understand the plight of """"low functioning"""" autistic people more than any non autistic person ever could. even though i have friends who have had brain injuries that joke about being "retarded" for similar reasons. i cant call myself a retard but the government sure as shit still treats me like one. society still treats me like one. but im told by the same people that belittle and insult me and hate me bc of my autism that they know better what i should be offended by. im not denying that there are some people that absolutely do NOT want to reclaim that word for themselves and i would never call them that. the "f-slur" is also a slur. there are gay men who absolutely do NOT want to reclaim the f-slur and i would never call them that. but clearly this website still is wayyyyy more accepting of the gays joking about being faggots than they are about autistic people being allowed to call themselves retard. i literally got salty anons about using that word about.... myself. tbh i feel like people focus way too much on these words as a way to virtue signal about how totally woke they are while doing absolutely NOTHING to actually materially improve the lives of the people they are claiming to protect. the "r slur" is like.... bottom tier in terms of the issues that i think are actually facing the intellectually disabled community.