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missjessefantastico · 4 years

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An animator’s insight about the current Thomas situation

Quick explanation since I don’t see many people talking about it: the last Storytime madlibs video was animated by fans, each of them was paid around 1.80usd per second and the credit was not given until after the animators asked the team to have their links included.

I asked my friend @siriwesen, who is a freelance animator from Germany, for her opinion in the matter. Here’s what she had to say, everybody say “Thank you Siri” because she spent a lot of her time checking every detail with me in order to give me a good perspective.

Disclaimer: all of this information is based on a freelance self-employed base for the central european market, it may vary by country.

tldr: the animators did an amazing job but were grossly unpaid, even for a passion project/beginner gig.

First, I gave her an hypotetical about a job offering to pay 25usd for 19 seconds of animation

I wouldn't even type a response for that. For 25 USD I'm not even turning on my pc. Or I'd do a nitty grity break down explaining how long animation takes by the hour with a past work example. I am always saddened with people selling their work at under 20.

When I gave her a rough explanation of the situation, specifically about Alex’s situation

So just as an idea. Even when working on a frame saving project like I did til yesterday, where you have a lot of still images and hold in between several frames. 5 frames can take 1-2hours depending on complexity, if you have a line test to follow, etc, not to forget lipsync. Lipsync takes forever. I'd expect 1.80 per frame not per sec. Like if they need 15 min for a full coloured frame, at 4 drawings they should get an hourly wage done. So 20-40 USD, and 20 is the utter lowest you should go. 20 sounds much as an hourly wage but it is not when you have to pay insurance and retirement savings.

After I showed her the madibs video

From what I can tell everyone hat freedom in what to do and how to do their scene, that means they spent time on design and thinking the scene.

Some of these movements are really flowy and smooth

Like either they pay one fixed budget to one animator or a team of animators, which would still be scummy but a beginning artist would usually not depend on the money for rent as they usually have other jobs and get a good portfolio piece out of it.

However with so many people on this... In order to get the video done in time I assume... This is outrageous. Because some artists will have just gotten bad luck on their scene and not have had the inspiration etc to create cool fucking showreel shit, so the got barely paid.

I'm gonna say some of those are relatively simple. Like you can make them within 4h, but it's still not enough pay. Motion graphics people make 30-40 an hour minimum.

I remember one time I ended up applying for a story time channel as editor and they wanted to pay editors 10usd per hour, which is absurd. If you can't afford animation, don't trick people into doing it. But be clear from the get go that this is a passion project. If its a sponsored video you better get the money for the animation.

Generally id say you could pay all the animators easily, if you have a well paid sponsorship/ product placement on the video.

Also, Im impressed they have partly fully animated clips there? Like the artists clearly went all out.

Her opinion on how to pay when you have a low budget

It's a fun video but if you wanna make it collaborative you either say: hey this is not being paid or you say: I'm sorry I have a set budget for this video and this is it so you would work underpaid, I can only offer you letters/reviews of recommendation for further work applications on real jobs, but be transparent and let the artists know, that's all im asking. They need to have the choice.

There will always be people who stay for the sake of the project because the love the channel or sth, but let people know you can't afford a proper pay for them but that you will do what you can to rectify or validate their work.

Give them shout outs, feature them at the end of the video, share them on insta tiktok and so on.

I feel like reducing the staff to 10, and paying each 100-200 would have been still a better "beginner" gig...

About the way the animators were credited

The description is the worst place to put them. Obviously they should be there but no one reads the description, especially when the vid gets embedded. Shout out your artists ffs.

About the project in general

It's just really a shit situation and I think their choice to make this such a large body of people working on it also doesn't necessarily help.

I just want to stress, that my estimates are based on a freelance self-employed base for the central european market, the prices for US Market may be different,but from what i know it is still common to pay 20+ upwards to your animators.

In Korea/Japan and other countries it is popular to pay animators per drawing,Idon't know the exact amounts but it's peanuts less than a dollar per drawing, but this is first off part of why people criticise the outsourcing in animation, because many times it is bad labor practises at bad wages to the point that animators have to have 1-2 other jobs in order to afford animating.

I dont know how things have improved over the past years but I reckon not much.

Also you can lower prices, when the major creative decisions, such as character design, colour palettes, background design, and storyboarding / timing has been pre done by other people/staff in the production, aka you just draw the characters. or you just colour them. that's how you can manage a feasible rate of drawings per day because you do a single task in a pipeline.

I can't tell how strict or coordinated and split their production pipeline was, but I think it is counter intuitive to pay young artists really bad wages because it discourages them from further engaging with the art/craft.

About hiring fans

This is a very double sided edge. I've seen people in a former fandom of mine being heavily disappointed in finally getting to work on the actual show,also the creator - fan dynamic is often an unfair one, because it is an uneven power-balance in which the creator/idol does not only hold the financial power over the fan, but also an emotional one. it's a predisposition for an unhealthy relationship, which the one with the power has to make the active effort to break it even and remove the worship-aspect and make clear to the artist,, that they're on a job-relationship playing field.

I also think it's important to figure out if any minors were contracted. Depending on countries, it may be, that they were technically not be legal to employ, there are places where you can only set up your own business aka freelance, once you hit the legal age.

Advice for new animators

Generally speaking, I'd also give the advice to never! start work without a contract.

Also if you can avoid it, never give out a custom demo example work or custom sample tailored to the project you're applying to, if you can help it, UNLESS you get compensation for the demo. I've wasted so many hours on providing potential clients with customised demo animation/drawing design and never heard back from them.

Only do this when you really trust your client and have worked with them previously, or if this is a specific pitch for project platform (which does basically work on this basis).

About working on passion projects

The job I completed yesterday, was definitely underpaid, but the director did basically show me his financing for this passion project, he got finance and funding, but it was still more a small drop in the pit of money you usually use.

I went on board with the project because he did take the time to reply to me, explain the project details, shared history on the project, and because he has ties to animation studios and work areas that I'm interested in. I got some really amazing character animation shots out of the project which I am allowed to use in my showreel/portfolio, I got some shout outs and minor cloud due to social media and in the end I WAS PAYED (around 1500 Euros to be precise). It's not as much as it would be for the work usually, but it's still a decent amount and,at the time I took the job, my livelihood did not depend on this money.

Even though this project i took was technically "underpaid" the conditions and favours i got out of it were absolutely fine. (also got 2 switch games out of it as a compensation for late hour work, lol).

Maybe this put it into perspective of what type of "underpaid" beginner jobs are good and which ones are not.

About working for exposure

I remember back in uni, we had a lot of industry speakers who had reputable careers in british animation, and there always was this thing about "is it okay to take unpaid jobs / jobs for exposure"and the answer always was either "never unpaid" or "it depends." and i think this is pretty much the best way to answer.

There were people who did amazing music videos in the 80s and who basically got only 100 pounds from it but that kickstarted their career,but it was high risk, it's a gamble and 80 percent of the time "exposure" gigs are useless.

Thanks again to Siri for providing all this insightful information, let’s hope @thatsthat24 @thejoanglebook and the rest of the team not only adress the issue, but also take the time to pay the animators correctly. They are artists and animation enthusiasts, they should know better than doing this.

#thomas sanders #joan stokes #thatsthat24 #thejoanglebook #long post #txtjessefantastico

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ennoshawty · 3 years

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HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this

#haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu captains #daichi sawamura #oikawa toru #kuroo tetsuro #kita shinsuke #ushijima wakatoshi #bokuto kotaro #x reader

97 notes · View notes

chicago-reeed · 4 years

Text

Detroit Evolution

These are some notes that I took while I watched DE for the first time. It’s a lot. Like, six pages, a lot. I decided I should probably spare everyone’s dashboards and put it under a cut.

Warning: overuse of the fuck word because I am a dramatic little shit who gets overwhelmed easily

- Alright here we go. I don’t know if I’m mentally prepared to go through this hhhhh

- THE CINEMATOGRAPHY I NUT

- fuck he smellin the flowers good

- “hey tin can :P” “good morning gavin :P”

- I’m actually fucking crying IVE HAD TO PAUSE SO MANY TIMES JUST TO BREATHE AND IM ONLY AT 1:25

- FUCK ITS 1:27 AND HES FIXING HIS COLLAR HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WATCH THIS WHEN MY VISION IS BLURRY WITH TEARS

- “I don’t need to breathe” BAZINGA

- *slaps my face repeatedly* keep it together bitch

- “I like the way you look<3” aaaaaaaaannd here I go again

- HAHAHA HE WAS DAYDREAMING SAME NINES SAME

- oh god oh god witty banter WITTY BANTER I CANT FUNCTION

- C H R I S IM SCREAMING

- detective motha fuckin chris I don’t need to see any more I got what I came for

- Honestly all they need to do to calm down the protestors is get nines out there so he can say “please stop you’re being very mean >:/“ and they would probably just go home ngl

- “I’ve never been intimidated by people who hate androids” OH MY GOD NINES WITH THE BAZINGA’S TODAY WHAT A LEGEND

- can I just say the white jacket is such a power move I can’t believe nines invented fashion

- Gavin bein soft and reaching back for Nines in the crowd🥺homygod

- Gavin “no one calls him plastic but ME” Reed

- The only time I will support police brutality™️

- Gavin is so OP we stan

- Nines “you raise a fist, then I get PISSED😡” RK900

- “y’all have a nice day” Protect Detective Chris Miller at all costs

- Nines sees Gavin’s scars as charming PUT ME TO DEATH

- ADA OH LORD SHES STUNNING IM SOBBING

- Okay I need to pause and breathe again the cinematography got me chokin

- Uh ooohhh someone is jeeaaalouus😛

- Nines really said “no worry fam I’ll airdrop the case files to u”

- Ada: *exists*

- me: I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me

- HA GAV DEFINITELY JEALOUS RIP

- And nines back at it again with the sass I AM LIVING

- Chris and Gavin’s reactions to Nines imitating Ada is the best thing I’ve seen all year

- “I can do your voice too” HIS FACE IMDBDHDJKDJD CRYIGGGSBSN

- oh ;-; shit Michael really finna make me cri

- God damn the intro credits are so beautiful

- TINAAAAAAA BABYYYYY

- Real coffee hours with the sharktreuse mug🦈

- “our boy” SHIT IM CRYING AGAIN

- Tina knows Gavin was absolutely feral before Nines appeared at the DPD

- Half An Asshole squad please stand up we ride at dawn

- Gavin with the knockoff timbs WE STAN😎

- maybe “thank god, I hate you, you love me, move your feet, oop” will be our always

- I’m living for the whole “criminal minds” vibe goin on here

- Bruh Gavin got the hook-ups fr fr

- ❤️WITTY BANTER WITTY BANTER WITTY BANTER W❤️

- The level of reed900 is staggering

- I’ve had to pause and breathe so many times it’s pathetic I’m not even 15 mins in

- GAVIN SAID mwah<3🖕IM FUCKING DIED

- 850% godt damn Nines got that IOS 50 update

- NINES PUT CHRIS’ PROMOTION PARTY IN THE CALENDAR WHAT A GOOD DAD

- maybe “our calendar” will be our always

- Chris “wingman of the year” Miller

- Who’s that Pokémon??? It’s JEALOUS GAV

- The way Nines said “I don’t feel anything for her.” I see you bud

- insecure Gavin needing reassurance™️

- Im fucking dying I fucking died bro BRO WE ALL KNOW WHO YOURE TALKING ABOUT, NINES, WE ALL KNOW

- Asexual Nines FTW👊😤👏👏👏❤️He gives zero fucks of ANY kind

- AN ANGEL HAS APPEARED WITH A GLOWY BLUE SCARF

- BREAKING NEWS: affection-starved Gavin™️ is literally begging for love

- GAVIN REED STOP BEING MEAN TO GAVIN REED OR ELSE

- “But there’s much more to admire about you than to detest, I think.”<333

- JJ not being suspicious at all nope no way Jose

- Lazzo has said two words and I love him already

- I don’t think I’ve seen this episode of COPS before🤔🤔🤔

- We all know Nines secretly wants to wear those fun glasses

- “Officer I swear I’ve never seen that arm in my life, it’s my friend’s he just asked me to hold it for him, Android arm what android arm heh”

- “Like robot arms, not gun arms.” You’re doing great sweetie🥰

- HAND TOUCH HAND TOUCH HAND TOUCH H

- Chris “the interrogator” Miller😎

- THE CINEMATOGRAPHY

- soft n sleepy gav™️ is soft n sleepy

- FUCKING SLEEVELESS SWEATSHIRT IVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT GAV IN A SLEEVELESS SWEATSHIRT FOR SO LONG AND NOW IT’S REAL IM

- You can wear my😋😘sweeaatshiiiirt😝😁🤗 (I’m sorry I had to)

- inconspicuous loving glances™️

- #GiveAndroidsFuckinHealthcare2K20

- AAAHHHHHHHH I CANTT BREAF

- HEAD>ON>SHOULDER

- INCONSPICUOUS LOVING GLANCES™️

- Gavin has not slept in 80 years

- He really said “I’m fine” BITCH

- Bed time for brats™️ no later than 8:30pm

- hell yeah sleepover time

- “stop lookin at my insides n shit” I want that on a t shirt

- ANDROID DREAMS

- Nines is so soft I might die

- But he’s somehow equally suave as fuck how is this fair

- Oh my god dream!gavin is like Nines’ conscious this is so presh

- “What do you think Gavin was gonna say?” nsndJSKDOFIWKDBDNDNSJDBBDJDJDJDNDJXJNDIFUIFIEKWN HES STILL THINKING ABOUT THEIR CONVO

- dream!gavin you sly dog

- “To have this. Out there.” DONT FUCK WITH MY HEART LIKE THAT THIS INNER-MONOLOGUE FLUFF IS SO SWEET

- Nines being insecure™️

- Listen to dream!gavin, Nines, he has big brain

- The fact that Nines subconsciously KNOWS that irl!Gav “just wants someone that doesn’t hate him” but he’s STILL like alas, I can never be what gavin needs :’(

- nu babie don’t be sad🥺

- oh my god they’re both train wrecks protect them at all cost

- c r i p e s❤️the reed900 hurt/comfort we all needed

- FUCK

- Concerned boyfriends™️

- Maybe “I’m fine” will be our always

- GAV🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💔💔💔💔💔💔

- Insecure boyfriends™️

- Nines “I’m not going to get any closer to Gavin because I can’t help him but also I want to cuddle with him because he had a nightmare” RK900

- did someone say c a t

- dumb babie gav jus spoon the dumb android so you both feel better

- Me: *rubs evil hands together* aha here comes the angst

- cue tragic backstory

- oh

- tragic backstory indeed

- YES DAD!FOWLER WE LOVE

- Gavin is so desperate for anyone to care about him I’m crying tears

- SHIT IT’S CUDDLE TIME™️ NOW IM REALLY FUCKING CRYING

- Alexa this is so god damn sad play despacito

- YES

- HAND>HOLDING

- HEAD>ON>SHOULDER

- NINES’ SKIN RETRACTING WHERE THEIR HANDS ARE TOUCHING THIS IS LIKE EVERY REED900 STAN’S DREAM COME TRUE

- Oh shit it’s about to get domestic I don’t think I’m mentally prepared

- YOU CAN WEAR MY😝💪SWEEAATSHIIIIIIRT🤪🔥🔥🔥 (I’m never letting the sleeveless sweatshirt thing go)

- Uh oh NO FUCK I’ve read enough fan fiction to know that this is where Gavin’s fucking trust issues kick in and he decides pushing nines away is safer than getting closer to him SHIT

- AND NINES GETS CONFUSED AND HURT

- AND THEN GAVIN GETS HURT

- I feel angst in this Chili’s tonight

- “I need you to leave” aaaaaaahhhhhhhh here come a whole different kind of tears

- frick dude that ouches

- Insert sad babie noises

- Oml the tension☠️poor Chris and Ada are like😑😑

- Chris could solve this case all by himself change my mind

- Gavin and Nines = (ò///-///ó)

- Chris = :D~oblivious~

- HELL YEAH PARTY TIME

- BEST WIVES TINA AND VALERIE AHHHH

- reed900 who??? I don’t know her. I only know ❤️valerina❤️

- I can’t believe Gavin and Nines invented angst

- I went and got blue gatorade just so I could pretend I was drinking thirium like Nines

- #DetectiveChen2K20

- real sad gavin hours

- Ruh roh Gavin bouta die from the ‘rona virus because rat man smokes hella

- CINEMATOGRAPHY CHEEEEECK HOLY SHIT

- my entire aesthetic in a single shot jfc

- Aaaaahhhh Nines trying to be a supportive bf just makes me ;-; [takes damage]

- HES ACCEPTED GAVIN AS MORE THAN A PARTNER🥺that, my friends, is what we call character development

- We stan the otp aggressively talking about their feelings

- “I’m not going anywhere.” FUCK™️

- SMOKE>FACE

- Aaaaand they’re back at square one. It’s cool it’s fine it’s all good we can work with this.

- Gavin: I don’t need you ò-ó

- Gavin: *immediately after Nines leaves* fuck ó-ò

- “It’s fine”™️

- I love Ada so much hhhhhh she said 🤨

- “Basic Instinct” TINA WITH THE HEAT OMG

- *nervous laugh* haha Ada sis maybe chill a little bit ha ha

- oh no I have a not good feeling

- ADA CHILL ADA CHILL

- WHY IS HE FOLLOWING HER INTO AN ALLEY AFTER THAT SKETCHY TALK

- AAA FUCK FUCK FUCJDJEMNSNDJDNXU FUCK I FUCKING KNEW IT FUCK SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK

- 😖x1000000

- Oh my god this is so fucking sad Alexa play The Sound of Silence

- Nines got fucked up and Gavin is CONCERNED

- aayyyyy bro Nines full on nakey

- Tina and Gavin sad bro huggin👊😔

- ADA HOW DARE YOU. HOW VERY DARE YOU.

- Uh oh Nines is fckn PISSED

- he MAD mad

- Tina speakin straight facts I love her

- WOOP GAVIN FINALLY ADMITTING HE NEEDS NINES

- f u c k right in the heart

- I don’t want to attempt writing any notes at this moment because my thoughts are completely incoherent I am a MESS

- “I need you to come back, Nines.” DONT PLAY W ME LIKE THAT

- HAND HOLDING FTW

- Did Gavin really almost bring Nines back through the power of love I am SHAKING

- Dream!Gavin speaking truth as ALWAYS

- These damn flashbacks making me feel some type of way

- OH SHIT HE AWAKE

- that actually low key jump scared me

- God damn these sets are so fucking pro, I’m so happy

- REUNION

- Tina really say “Chris ;) ;) lets go get some ;) coffee ;) ;) ;) ;)”

- CHRIS’ REALIZATION FACE FUCKING LAID ME OUT I HAD TO PAUSE I WAS LAUGJINB SO HARD

- You Undead Asshole™️

- Gavin: ( ⚆ _ ⚆ ) fuck he actually heard me talk about my feelings n shit

- Nines: You literally told me you fucking needed me like five minutes ago

- Gavin: huh weird that doesn’t sound like me I actually hate you

- ooOOHHH S H I T

- REALLY IS THIS REALLY HAPPENIGN

- woah shit sorry I blacked out for a second what happened

- MY POOR LITTLE FUCKING REED900 HEART IS EXPLODING AND IMPLODING AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME

- CAAAAAAAAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIIIGGHTT

- holy shit I actually gave myself a bloody fucking nose because I smacked my face too hard in excitement

- ❤️💘🧡💞💕💘💓💚💛💘💞💓💛💛💞💘❤️💚💘💜💕💖❤️❤️💕💓💗💘💖💚💝❤️

- FUCK

- “What dipshit programmed you to do that?” 🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️FUCK

- My aunt came in and told me she heard me shouting then asked why I was crying

- HAHA FUCKING CHRIS IS MEEEE

- shit I need to like..,,,,physically recover from that

- whew okay break time is over let’s fucking go

- Nines in the cheeky turtleneck I SEE U

- #DETECTIVECHEN2K20

- Gavin: I’m ready to take this hoe DOWN

- Initiate protocol: SAVE ADA FROM HERSELF

- I could listen to Tina talk to dispatch for hours🥰❤️❤️❤️

- WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE T

- Gavin being hella concerned boyfriend™️

- FIGHT SCENE™️

- omfg that crowbar really went *CLANG* when it hit Ada’s steel fkn abs what a legend💪😎

- Hell yeah epic Nines gif moment

- no Ada don’t choke Gavin it only makes him stronger

- CHRIS THE MOTHER FUCKIN GOAT😎👏👏👏he really said “fuck ur monologue I’m here to get shit done”

- ADA QUEEN YOURE OKAY SWEETIE

- That character development godt damn

- I might be reaching but Gavin is now wearing a white/off-white shirt/gray that kINDA RESEMBLES DREAM!GAVIN’S SHIRT. Coincidence? I THINK NOT. THATS SYMBOLISM IF I EVER DID SEE IT.

- “buyer’s remorse, huh?”

- “I can’t be everything you need.”

- That awkward moment when you realize the person you were hiding your feelings from has also been hiding their feelings from you.

- “a year of that fuckin’...Ken Doll face smirkin’ at me every day” BE CUTER GAVIN, I DARE YOU.

- naked hand = love

- CHEEKY BASTARDS

- FUCK FUCK FUCK ME

- THAT WAS SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL

- So my review of this film could be summed up by saying that I basically cried for an hour and fifteen minutes.

- Holy damn

#fun game: watch the film and try to guess what each of these crazy ramblings is referring to #im still reeling from all of that #I think I need to watch it again #yes that sounds like a plan #this is kind of like a review #if it were written by an emotional crackhead who got zero sleep last night #also #happy easter babes #if u celebrate it of course #what did we do to deserve this film #jfc there are still tears in my eyes #I need to watch it again asap #Detroit evolution #octopunk media #reed900

144 notes · View notes

fizzingwizard · 3 years

Text

;______; just heard that from September we’re gonna have three students in our cluster who are under 1 year old... (5 in the school total)

aaahhh im exhausted just thinking about it

and whats crazy is in one of the classes with under 1 yos there is a kid who is between 1-2 yo and she cannot walk yet. We have been trying to help her learn and have begun wondering if there is some reason beyond her mother just didn’t really encourage her to walk before. (Like maybe she needs leg braces etc.) So far no news on that but this kid only drags her feet around, obviously she needs constant help, and there are 12 other kids in the class, two of whom are under 1 and three teachers, HOW are they supposed to do it???

and the class that will have three under 1s has two first year teachers in it, that makes me so nervous... They’re both awesome coworkers, this is no shade on them, but under 1s can be TOUGH, it’s SO easy for them to get hurt. idk it feels like an accident waiting to happen.

i’ve been at schools where 5 students was an entire class, if we’re gonna have this many under 1s we should just have a class for them, come on! I love them but they are twice the work of kids on year older than them.

Also the recommended teacher-student ration for 1-3 yos is 1:6, which we abide by, but I believe it’s actually 1:3 or 1:4 when the kids are belong 18/12 mos. Apparently the head office does not care.

These kids are not in my class, I currently teach 2-3s, however I am a long care teacher and I look after them during morning and after care. I do their nap and their snack and play time supervision etc. From 10-2 they’re part of their class, but the rest of the day they belong to all of us.

More work ranting under the cut because I guess I just need to vent to the air.

And we have a LOT of students now - two clusters of going on 30 in each, in very small classrooms where the teachers are expected to watch them like a hawk AND keep constantly busy with numerous tasks at the same time.

Plus our prep time has been cut down this year despite additional work getting put on us, and we have no extra help.

If one teacher is out sick, no one gets prep time.

Don’t remember if I whined about this before, but a month or so ago we had a meeting in which the leader said “If you find you don’t have enough prep time, that’s on you to manage your time better.” It was super condescending and annoying. I’m like, dude, my contract says I get 1 hour prep and 1 hour break. We never ever EVER get the full two hours (and I should mention this is never consecutive, it’s 15 min here, 30 min there, 1 full hour if you’re really lucky). It’s usually at most 1 hr 45. But a 30 min break is fine! I’d love to take a 30 min break. Almost never do. Way too busy.

Like, I won’t get into it, but the laundry list of Stuff To Do recently has been ENORMOUS. In my class, I have 19 students. One of my co-teachers is part time, meaning she’s not around to help during much of prep time, and the other is a leader meaning she’s constantly in meetings or doing leader assignments. They are both fantastic co-workers, but yeah, this means I do ALL the class stuff. I prepare all the crafts, I do a ton of the organizing, and I’m often the only teacher from my class available in the afternoons because part-time teacher went home and leader teacher is in a meeting. So I end up with a lot of the after care stuff.

We have to hand out these big projects that teachers are responsible for preparing for each student on 8/16. We know these are coming and prep for them as soon as possible, but like, I won’t get into this either lol, but it’s so hard. It’s time-consuming by itself, and made worse because all the school computers are crap (like takes-15-min-to-start, another 10 to open the browser, 5 to go to the website, then it freezes, then 5 more, another freeze, etc) and like you have 15 min break time hahahahaha.

I wanted to get such a head start that I just started doing what I could back in the beginning of the year but we lit can’t do the bulk of the work until a certain kind of envelope is delivered and that doesn’t come till summer for some stupid reason. Soooo our long prep days in April when there are no kids around... can we use those to prep for this project? Heck no!

Anyway. This year’s is due on 8/16. This coming week we are off for obon break. This year also, the company is doing the project slightly differently. Instead of staggering what class gives out their projects to their students when, we all have to do it at once. We are our company’s biggest school, sooo my honest thought is no one at the head office thought about us when they made this change. The other schools don’t have to stagger anyway, they have at most two classes. We have four.

So this means everyone is printing their projects at the same time. For one student, you need 10 sheets on A3 paper. For my class of 19, that is 190 sheets of paper. For four classes, we’re over 700 sheets total. THAT IS A LOT OF PAPER.

So I get to work this morning and boss says “Yeah so we’re out of A3 paper.”

!!!

IT’S DUE MONDAY.

There was a little bit left so I just charged and printed as much of my stuff as I could in the morning before anyone else could. Then, miraculously, another packet of A3 paper appeared out of nowhere, and we were able to print most of the rest of our students’ projects. (My coworker who is a leader has not printed hers yet because she is super busy and isn’t finished. Again, she’s an awesome coworker, I wish I could have helped her more, but uh, I’m also swamped and not taking breaks, so. Hopefully she can do it before we really do run out of A3 paper.)

Getting more paper is no big deal, it’s just that no one has the time, and this is due Monday.

So I was super stressed. Sooooo super stressed for such a dumbbbb reason. And I don’t understand why these projects have to go out on Monday anyway. Some kids don’t even come to school on Mondays. Like. Just make sure they get them next week, isn’t that good enough?? Why make us stress and panic.

Everyone else seemed fine though, I was the only one tearing my hair out because I’m the type who finishes everything a day early so I have a day to check it over... I am not spontaneous and I hate to rush...

I lit told my coworkers, because regardless of the paper situation we are still behind because we have not had any time to organize the projects, that I will just stay late tomorrow to do it. It’s the Friday before a break so I don’t mind too much. I am really tired tho and would of course rather just go home and sleep but. I’ve done this before. Finishing up this project will take 1.5 hours - 2 hours at the current state it’s in, IF I can just sit down and do it uninterrupted. (Have I mentioned these projects are HEAVY?? And there’s 19 of them?? It’s a big job just to take them out and start putting them together >.<)

So tomorrow evening that is what I will likely be doing -.-;

There are INNUMERABLE other STUPID parts of this project - the idea behind it is great, but the way we are required to make it is absolutely bonkers and desperately needs a revamp but does anyone listen to a preschool teacher? heck no lol

uggh.

I feel better after venting tho.

I like my job, I just wish humans in general gave a shit, not even about quality of life (since obvs that’s expecting too much lol, also as a person with privilege I’m aware I’ve already got it pretty darn good), but just about not making jobs that are ridiculous. Just plan them out better, sheesh. There’s no reason for all this running around. The projects don’t need to be printed. Or they don’t need to be so huge. They don’t need all this fuss and nonsense. They are a good idea, but we could do them in a way that would be sooo much less stressful.

(The funniest part of all being, it’s a project for the parents mainly, and the parents... don’t like it x’D No they really don’t. They are happy to have the project, but first they’ve got to get it home, and it is HUGE and HEAVY and UNWIELDY lmao. And some of them are carrying twin 2 year olds and both of their futons home as well, and we’re like “here you go, two giant projects for you to take home!” And the parents are like “thanks????”)

#fizz's life #work

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a-manes · 5 years

Note

Pls rank the taejin fights from most to least insane: 1. Choreo spring day fight 2. Rj vs Tata bt21 creation fight 3. Batshit fake GO THE FUCK HOME fight + 90 second apology hug thanks

AS U WELL KNOW i’m drunk

but here is my defintiive answer

LEAST INSANE

SPRING DAY FIGHT CHOREO

the story: BACK IN YE YONDER DAYS jin has to run at tae during the performance of spring day idk and one then they turn around and jin has to run back to the group while tae follows him

one day fucking 15 mins before the performance tae is like jin u old bitch u don’t run fast enough and i’m gonna trip over u

and jin is like lol ok

and tae is like hold on no don’t laugh at my struggle

and then they get into a FULL BLOWN FIGHT even though they’re literally about to go on stage bc tae doesn’t feel like jin is listening to his concerns and jin is like bitch what

they literally fight and then namjoon has to be like BITCHES WE ARE ON IN FIVE CHILL IT

And then they walk to the stage but tae literally breaks down crying about it and namjoon has to give him a lil hug and it’s all v fraught

and then they have to call a whole ass fucking team meeting about it where they’re like TALK ABOUT UR SHIT AND HUG IT OUT and tae and jin absolutely do not hug it out but tae does give jin a lil back stroke when everyone else has left and honestly angst left right and centre

and this is literally about choreo and it’s insane but it’s the least insane of all three taejin arguments purely bc the other two are fucking batshit

NEXT UP

BT21 MEETING

SO the lads are creating horrifying little characters to represent them and TAE

i can’t even talk about it ART HO KIM TAEHYUNG IS LIKE YES IM GOING TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO CREATE THE GREATEST ART KNOWN TO MAN and he says this with his WHOLE CHEST

AND THEN HE SETS HIS PEN TO PAPER AND DRAWS A FUCKING HEART WITH LEGS SEVEN TIMES IN A ROW AND THEN CLAIMS ITS A LOVE ALIEN BORNE FROM THE DEPTHS OF HIS OWN CREATIVITY AND UNIQUENESS BC FRANKLY TAE IS THE WEIRDEST FUCKING BOY IN ALL THE WORLD

THE CONFIDENCE HE HAS

WHILST DRAWING A LITERAL HEART WITH TWO LEGS THAT LOOKS FRANKLY TERRIFYING

jin meanwhile is drawing this cute ass lil alpaca called rj and he’s like yes the people will connect to the cuteness

AND THEN TAE STANDS THE FUCK UP AND IS LIKE

JIN YOU BITCH YOUR GARBAGE DRAWING MIGHT BE CUTE BUT ITS ALL SHOW NO FLOW ALL LOOKS NO MEANING

AND OUR F A N S PROBABLY WANT SOMETHING WITH DEPTH AND INNER BEAUTY AND MEANING LIKE MY FUCKING HEART WITH TWO LEGS

SO WE WILL JUST SEE WHOSE CREATURE IS MORE SUCCESSFUL BUT BASICALLY IT WILL BE MINE BECAUSE YOUR LITTLE ALPACA IS A SHALLOW PIECE OF SHIT AND YOU WOULDNT KNOW REAL ART IF YOU STEPPED IN A PUDDLE OF IT AND RUINED YOUR WHOLE ASS GUCCI FUCKING OUTFIT YOU UNINSPIRED TURD

and jin is just sitting there like i literally just drew a cute alpaca

and tae is standing up and ready to deck a bitch over the artistic integrity of this literal sponsored joint venture of creating cartoon characters even though he’s literally just drawn a heart with legs

have the confidence in life of tae creating his bt21 character is2g the #inspo

if jin has decked him right there and then on a table full of professional designers no one would have questioned it

i can’t express the LEVELS of passion tae expressed in the bt21 meetings no one has ever cared about something more

he’s like literally there muttering nonsense and drawinf 7 heart leg beasts frantically in the space of 30 seconds it was both horrifying to watch and all i ever needed in my life

AND FINALLY

MOST STUPID TAEJIN FIGHT

THE BAG INCIDENT

SO ONE TIME BTS ARE FILMING THEIR TRAVEL SERIES ANd theY HAVE TO GET ON A TRAIN AND I GUESS

TAE MISPLACES HIS WHOLE ASS BAG BUT ASSUMES ONE OF THEIR CREW HAS IT AND SO GETS ON THE TRAIN BEFORE IT LEAVES

and the crew absolutely has tae’s bag with his passport in and shit

but they’re like

l o l

and they tell namjoon to play a prank on tae and pretend the bag has been lost so namjoon needs to call an embassy of some kind and make sure tae can still continue this trip

so tae is naturally like OH FUCKING GOD WHERE IS MY SHIT and namjoon is like u stupid fuck i’m calling the embassy so how do i spell hyung

and all the other members are at this point in on the joke

including jin

and tae is like aaahhh so JIN

JIN WHO KNOWS THAT TAE DID NOT ACTUALLY LOSE HIS BAG

JUST STARTS A FIGHT WITH TAE

AND IS LIKE YOU FAILURE ASS BITCH HOW COULD YOU LOSE YOUR BAG

AND TAE IS LIKE WAIT THIS ISNT MY FAULT

AND JIN IS LIKE BITCH YES IT IS FUCK OFF BACK HOME

AND TAE IS LIKE FINE ILL FUCKING LEAVE THEN

AND JIN IS LIKE GOOD FUCK OFF WHO CARES

anyway plot twist turns out tae knew immediatley that his bag was not missing because all of bts are fucking awful actors and the only person who wasn’t acting suspicious was hobi and that’s just because stared ahead and didn’t move

THE ONLY ONE WHO ISNT ACTING WEIRDLY IS HOBI AND THATS BECAUSE HE LITERALLY HASNT MOVED A MUSCLE

so tae knows

that jin knows

that tae didn’t lose his bag

and that jin is faking this argument for the lols

so when jin is like YOU KNOW WHAT BITCH JUST FUCK OFF AND LEAVE THE COUNTRY

tae FULLY AGRESSIVELY ARGUES BACK WITH HIM

EVEN THOUGH TAE KNOWS ITS ALL A FUCKING PRANK

and then TAE PRETENDS TO STORM OFF AFTER THIS FIGHT

BUT COMES BACK, BAG IN TOW

AND JIN

LITERAL PSYCHOPATH KIM SEOKJIN

LEANS BACK IN HIS CHAIR AND JUST SAYS

“congratulations”

and then tae sits back down and they’re all like

lol

sorry for making u think u lost ur passport

except jin absolutely does not say sorry

despite the fact that in jin’s mind

tae thought that fight was real

TAE DOUBLE CROSSED ALL THOSE BITCHES BECAUSE HE IS A REAL ASS ACTOR AND APPARENTLY NOT THICK AS TWO PLANKS

AND JIN WAS JUST LIKE

lol rmr when i told u to leave the fucking country x

literally if i was tae jin would be a pile of bones in the dirt by now what the actual fuck

#bts #taejin #here u fuckin go

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hwangskz · 5 years

Text

excuse me, do you have a boyfriend? | bad boy! felix

so i was lurking on tumblr at 5am a few days ago and got inspired for this by @chenle 's anon lmao thank u i guess skjshd

• "are you jamaican? 'cause jamaican me fall for you ;)" - you know who

• u read another note from the same guy who's been following u around for quite a few weeks now

• and as u slam ur locker shut (trying to look cool (⌐■_■))

• but then

• "hello there"

• "JSHSBA AAAAAA-"

• "OH MY GOD IM SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO SCARE U !!!! IT'S JUST ME !!!!! FELIX !!!!!"

• there goes ur cool aura o(╥﹏╥)o

• "from the next time, TELL ME UR THERE BEFORE U FUCKIN ATTACK BITCH"

• "i ???? just spoke ????"

• "ur voice is enough to give me shivers shut up-"

• and he nears ur face and just wriggles his eyebrows up and down causing u to roll ur eyes

• "shut up i didn't mean that in the other way-"

• "yeah, um, sure"

• u could only roll ur eyes at him at this point

• "also im not jamaican?? im korean, dude" - you, as u look at felix with confusion

• "JSHSB NO I KNOW!!!! but ur still making me fall for u ;))" - felix, as he throws a wink at u in the end, and u pretend to gag on it which makes him cutely laugh

• u never really understood felix's deal w you, u know????

• like, yeah u remember bumping into a guy after u had joined ur school for about a month and u were late for ur maths class

• and honestly u would have loved to help him pick up whatever papers that fell down (that belonged to him) but NUH UH BITCH UR NOT STAYING 15 MINS AFTER CLASS AGAIN JUST TO CATCH UP ON WHAT U MISSED

• u had once learned that if something's gone, then that's just how it is gonna be. gone.

• so who are u to change laws HUH

• but while u were rushing this boy just???? stops u????

• "excuse me, do you have a boyfriend?"

• first thought : what... the fuck

• second thought : WHAT THE FUCK DID THIS RANDOM STRANGER JUST ASK

• that may have sounded agressive but u WERE FUCKING BLANK

• "w-wait, what?"

• "a-ah, sorry that must've been too direct... i'm lee felix! and i think ur cute"

• bro

• how the FUCK are u straightforward

• "because ur cuteness made :D"

• u dont even know HOW but felix just ended up sticking his nose in ur business with u after that

• his friends never minded??? tho???

• "hey chan i hope u don't feel weird when felix stays with me for too long,,,"

• "?????? y/n!!! i would never oml!!! it's completely fine! u can have 'lix! romantically too, teehee"

• looking at it from felix's side,

• he was carrying the extra sheets back to his science class when he bumped into u

• he obv knew u were a girl because of ur voice when u were talking to urself about getting late

• so u know how in movies and shows and books, they all say that u'll meet the loyl after bumping into them and then u both will gather the papers together and all that stuff

• well that did happen

• ...except that u just ran away without a sorry or anything???

• so felix just sat there in silence for about 3 seconds before dashing to u and, well, asking if u have a boyfriend

• to be honest, this wasn't really the first time he's seen u, u know

• yall have the same english class and he sits right behind u

• he's admired u from behind before

• but probably his Bad Bitch Side decided to show up that day because this boy is actually just a softie behind that bad boy personality jshsjshs

• but seeing u react like that, with ur cheeks all flushed he just :((( GOD he fell in love w u more

• back to the present

• now u know how i mentioned that yall have the same english class???

• well, felix knows ur existence in that class

• however,,,u cant say the same about his tho

• so when u walk into ur class today ur ??? surprised???? when u see felix sitting in ur seat????

• "????? are u stalking me????"

• felix chuckles as he moves aside to make space for u to sit down, which u do

• "can't believe u didn't know we share a class together"

• ":OOOO WE DO?"

• the thing is that u just looked so focused on the topics that felix just didn't have enough heart to break ur concentration from it, yk

• "that's one really stupid excuse"

• "y/N-"

• however, that day in class, u couldn't help but look at felix

• how his eyes sparkled when he gave the right answer and everyone awed at his english skills

• how he showed u his new pencil pouch that had his favorite cartoon character drawn on it and cutely laughed again

• how he kept quoting vines to u and then just laughed heartily again

• are u taking a liking towards felix?

• maybe it had been a really long time since u had been zoned out because the next thing u know felix is shaking u by ur shoulders (very slightly, cautiously, in order to not hurt u accidentally)

• "y/n? hey? u there?"

• u blink ur eyes several times as u look around the class, trying to get a better view, at what looked like ur classmates leaving for their home

• u pack up ur stuff and ur ready to go before felix tugs on ur hoodie sleeve

• jesus CHRIST who taught him to be this cute

• "do u wanna walk home, maybe..?"

• u would have rejected the offer

• "sure"

• maybe that answer was just lying on the tip of ur tongue

• maybe u are taking a liking towards felix

• so yall are on ur way to ur home, in silence

• not that it was awkward

• it felt nice like this

• it felt nice to be with him, like this.

• "hey y/n?"

• "hm?"

• he looks over at u, making sure u know he's sincere about whatever he's gonna say next

• "aren't u tired of me?"

• ??????

• "what do u mean 'tired' of you?"

• "i mean, i'm always lurking around u. never with my friends. i'm always trying to talk to u, disturb u. how have u not gotten rid of me yet?"

• u think for a moment

• think about the time when u first met him

• well obviously u were disturbed

• but u didn't mind it tho

• and unlike other times when u felt lonely, he actually made it feel like someone really had ur back

• even if he kept pushing through ur shell

• actually

• ur pretty fucking glad he did

• "because i like being with you."

• and FELIX JUST SKBSBS STOPS WALKING AND GOES ??????

• "??????? DONT U HATE ME THO"

• "never said that." - you, as u turn around trying to open ur door

• and there he goes again, mouth hanging open and his heart beating at full speed once again because of u

• “wh- in what SENSE DO U LIKE BEING WITH ME-”

• “i’ll leave it to ur imagination”

• and like that, u just turned around and closed the door to ur house, leaving a burning red felix behind

• next day when u reached ur school, u went to ur locker, yk, waiting for the day to go on like a normal one

• except... it wasn’t

• felix stood in front of ur locker, a bright smile on his face and a bag of chocolates in his hand

• “y/n!!!!!! good morning!!!!! ヾ(＠⌒▽⌒＠)ﾉ !!!!”

• “felix what are u doing in front of my lo-”

• he didn’t even let u finish before he shoved the chocolates in ur face

• “i brought something for u!!!”

• and like this, the entire day, felix was acting ESPECIALLY clingy to u

• u didn’t mind it tho

• but before school ended today

• “y/n! wait for me!”

• u look up to see a familiar face

• namely. hwang hyunjin

• running towards u

• “hey! it’s been a while, huh” - you, as u stand facing him now

• he pulls his bag over and gives u a hug, slightly startling u

• “yeah... also, y/n? can i, uh, ask u something..?”

• u nodded slightly, unsure of what he’s gonna say next

• “are u seeing someone?”

• u go silent for a moment

• ur first thought : felix

• but then again, u think, ‘does he even like me for real..?’, so so so many thoughts all about felix are going on in ur head

• so hyunjin continues

• “if not, would u like to go somewhere tomorrow-”

• “she didn’t answer u, did she? then why don’t u take a hint, and leave?”

• u look towards ur right to see the person who had occupied ur mind

• YALL ALREADY K N O W THIS IS LEE FELIX

• “felix you don’t need to-”

• “is s/he/they your girl/boyfriend/partner?”

• this was just a question from hyunjin, so why did make you stop talking?

• why did it do something to your heart?

• “yes.”

• and with that, felix takes ur hand in his and walks away from the school building, but not very far as u pull away from his grip

• “felix? why would you say something that isn’t true-”

• “because i want it to be!”

• you can’t even form words now at this point honestly

• WHAT IS A WORD Y/N L/N DOESNT WHAT A WORD IS

• felix continues

• “i want it to be true, y/n! from day one, when i first met you in class, till today, i only thought of being with you. i even confessed to you, so so so many times, and you said no. well, that’s fine. but what isn’t fine is that.. you never believed me. you never believed the love i had for you. why? is this really too much to ask for? can’t you ever just believe me?”

• u have no clue what made u do this

• but you stepped closer and said

• “i didn’t answer you, right? didn’t you say just a few seconds before that if the person doesn’t answer, the other should take the hint and... leave?”

• u had never seen felix’s eyes tear up like that

• not even that time when he got a huge bruise on his hand because he tried to save u from that ball in the baseball game that had headed towards u

• and it makes something in u ache

• and ur about to take back ur words when

• “if this makes u better, then that’s that, i guess. goodbye, y/n.”

• and like all cliche films u try to pull him back, but guess he’s just really fast. because now? u only see an empty road

• and guess he really meant that goodbye, because now, u can’t even find him

• u even went to chan if he had seen felix

• so many times of the day, but

• “sorry, y/n. i haven’t seen him yet :(”

• was all that u got as an answer from him

• honestly? at this point, u didn’t even know if u liked felix or not

• “from the looks of u, maybe yeah u do.”

• u look up to see chan smiling and taking his seat beside u

• “look, y/n, i might be a very ignorant person sometimes, but i couldn’t ignore the look of sadness on felix’s face that day. we’ve known each other for quite a long time now, you know? but this is the first time i had ever seen him so in love with someone.

• being the popular kid of the school, he still was very polite to people. i still remember when he told he felt something for a girl in his class. i just chuckled thinking it might just be a small crush.... but it wasn’t. it isn’t just a small crush for him now, y/n.”

• ur heart just.. physically hurts alot at this point

• “do u know where i can possibly find him?”

• “i’m not really sure, but u can try to look for him in the practice room. he would always be there when he’s down.”

• maybe there’s still a chance left

• “will he be there right now?”

• once chan answers u, u dash ur way to the practice room, not caring about the students who turned back to scowl at u

• u open the door

• and u might just cry

• because there he was, sitting in front of the mirror, legs crossed, hands tangled in his hair and head down

• “felix!”

• before this boy even gets the chance to answer u, u hug him ever so tightly, trying to ignore that he had slightly flinched at ur touch

• “y/n..?”

• u pull away, hands still wrapped around his waist, and speak out the words that felix had been longing to hear

• “i think i like- no wait. i like you ALOT BITCH”

• felix blinked twice before chuckling lightly and pulling u into a kiss

• and once, u felt so warm

• u sure were shocked at first, but when u kissed him back, felix smiled against ur lips

• when both of u pulled away, ur cheeks burning red

• and so were felix’s cheeks

• he looked down and spoke as he played with his hands, turning the ring around his finger several times

• “i thought u would never come..”

• “says the one who ran away.”

• “because YOU told me to leave!”

• it’s ur turn to look down now, because, damn he was right

• “i just- i’m sorry. i don’t even think i have an excuse for that, except that i couldn’t turn down hyunjin properly.”

• felix sighs and falls into ur arms again

• “did u know i was gonna confess to u that day?”

• “u confess to me everyday tho”

• “!!!! no i mean a serious confession. i was really gonna tell u, sincerely, this time. did chan hyung tell u?”

• u pull away and look at him with a confused expression on ur face

• “??????no????? in fact, he told me that u ‘might’ be here today”

• felix sighs out of relief

• “im glad he kept his promise and didn’t tell u beforehand that day. gotta get him a treat then.”

• “?????????bitch?????? IM COMING TOO”

• he laughs and holds u by ur shoulders as he speaks

• “obviously u’re coming. u’re my woman now, after all ;))))))”

• “oh no what have i got myself into”

112 notes · View notes

mirohed · 5 years

Text

kim seunghun | love me, love me not

pairing: kim seunghun + gender neutral reader

wc: 3.7k

genre: hanahaki au + angst

synopsis: daffodils represent unrequited love. is that why you keep coughing them up?

warnings: implications of suggestive content, descriptions of illness (and mention of surgery), mention of alcohol

playlist: love me, love me not.

a/n: happy birthday to me!! im glad i finally got to finish and post this (its,,, been in my wips since at least february LMAO) !! they prob wont read this but i wanted to thank my irls for dealing w me and my kpop bullshit (esp bc none of them stan ygtb 😔)

It's getting worse.

Your knuckles turn white, gripping the porcelain of the toilet. Tears and blood alike fall into the bowl, disturbing the gentle peace of the water. You pound at your chest, the action causing you to hack up yellow daffodil petals stained suspicious red. It's a monotonous process at this point. Pound. Cough. Pound. Cough. Repeat until the damned coughing stops.

It takes ten minutes before you return to normal. Or at least as normal as you can get. You got lucky this time.

You watch the petals spiral downward into the gaping hole in the toilet and get flushed away.

Being with Seunghun wasn't always accompanied by a tightness in your chest and petals tickling your throat.

june 19, 2005; 2:52 PM.

"I wanna grow up," you had grumbled, your hands squeezed around the chains of the swingset. You and Seunghun had been riding your bikes for the first time since getting the training wheels off. You had sped down a hill ("First one down’s a rotten egg!") and lost control, falling off and scraping your knee on the pavement. He rushed you to your parents' house, supporting your weight with an arm around your waist. The two of you had settled for playing on the swingset in your backyard instead.

"Me too," he said. "I think." He'd been rocking forward and backward on the swing, eyes focused on the blades of grass underfoot.

"You think?"

"I don't know." You stayed silent, trying to gain as much height as possible with your uninjured leg. "I don't wanna grow up and stop being friends." That got you to stop right in your tracks, your leg planted on the ground.

"What?" You sent an incredulous look his way. "Why would we stop being friends?"

He had let go of the swing, his hands finding his lap. "Some of the older kids stopped being friends when they grew up," he mumbled. "I don't wanna stop being friends, but neither did they..."

You got off the swing, limping over to him and wrapping Seunghun in the biggest hug your six-year-old arms could muster.

"We're gonna be best friends forever. Don't forget that."

"Best friends forever." If he wrapped his arms tighter around you then, you didn’t pick up on it.

[09:54 PM] huniebee🐝: i had fun today :^))

[09:54 PM] huniebee🐝: i wanna adopt a puppy!!

[09:55 PM] huniebee🐝: will you promise to help me take care of it

You brighten as the messages come in, your phone's vibrations distracting you from the way your throat clogs.

[09:56 PM] you: ofc

[09:56 PM] you: well be the best puppy parents the worlds ever seen

[09:57 PM] huniebee🐝: wait i need to send the pics from the pet shelter

[Attachment: 8 images]

You save each picture, cooing over the puppies you got to meet. This time, you only get a precious few minutes of relative clarity before things get too distracting to ignore. You return to the bathroom with a resigned sigh that devolves into a fit of coughs.

You cough and retch and cough some more. By the time you're done, there are less petals and more blood in the toilet bowl. Your chest still feels full of something you can't quite spit out.

Then you hack up something new: a bloody stem with wet flowers still attached.

There's nothing left to do but cry, your whole body wracked with pain both physical and emotional.

august 29, 2011; 3:15 PM.

"Today was fun," you said, making yourself right at home on Seunghun's bed. Your new backpack hadn't lasted more than a couple minutes in his house before getting neglected on his carpet. Your best friend hummed in acknowledgement, already sitting at his desk with his workbook out. "I'm glad we got to meet some new people," you continued, "but that Hyunsuk guy? Seems like a major pain in the ass."

"Give him a chance."

"I know, I know. I will. But still," you huffed, “it was his first day too. No need to act like a know-it-all."

"I know. But it's the first day. Maybe he'll even himself out with time."

The conversation ended there, and you spent some time staring at his ceiling fan, the blades going round and round in a big, beautiful blur. Before long, you had grown bored, looking over at him only to see his pencil flying across the paper.

"Hey. Let's go to the mall and get pretzels." Seunghun spun around to face you, a foot stopping his chair from going too far.

"Sure," he gave a placid smile. "Do your work first."

You groaned as loudly as you could, sounding much like a petulant child straight out of elementary school. (Which was more or less the truth, but you thought you were better than that.) After a few minutes of uninterrupted whining and failing to get Seunghun to break, you spoke up. "Why do I need to do my work? You're Mr. Hardworking, Mr. Teacher's Pet."

"We're in middle school now," he had said, and you remember thinking you were in for a long lecture, "and pretty soon, we're gonna have to go to high school and take entrance exams and decide which university we want to go to and..." He averted his gaze, put down his pen. "We need to start growing up."

"We're still young," you reasoned, sitting up and letting your legs dangle off the side of his bed. "If anything, this is our time to experience things and, you know, make mistakes before we become adults!"

He was silent for a few long, agonizing moments, long enough to make you think you'd won. The pretzels were within reach; all you had to do was ask for them.

"I call a compromise."

Shit. Compromises were common in your friendship. Seunghun was always a little too good at stopping you from making stupid decisions. The worst part was that you could never argue with them. "We go to the mall to get pretzels—my treat—if, and only if, you do your work. We don't go until we're both finished. Deal?"

You opened your mouth, determined to pick the proposal apart, but his reasoning was (unpleasant, yet) bulletproof. Instead, you reached for your backpack with a heavy sigh. "First of all, fuck you. Second of all," you said, tugging your own workbook out, "you're impossible."

"I know. Do your work."

"Fine."

The math problems had been difficult, definitely harder than you were used to, but doable. If anything, the greasy mall pretzels that were way too salty to be healthy made it all worth it.

Seunghun gets understandably very worried when you text him from the hospital, but he comes to see you nonetheless. In his arms is a bouquet of daffodils.

"They symbolize friendship," he says, setting it down on the table next to you. You stare at the pristine yellow petals and flatten your lips in a tight smile. How ironic, you think, that he doesn't know they also symbolize unrequited love.

"The doctors wouldn't tell me why you're here. Classified information, they said." That much is true; nor much is known about the disease outside of shitty romance movies with unrealistically happy endings. Seunghun always believed in them. You never did.

You don't think your story's gonna have a happy ending.

You didn't want him to know anyway, lest he worry. (And you don't want to think about what would happen to your friendship if he found out he was the cause of it all.) "You don't have to tell me," he begins, sitting himself down on one of those rigid hospital chairs, "I just wanna know if it's bad. Like, well...you know.” He lowers his voice to a whisper. “Terminal."

"Like if I'm gonna die?"

"Yeah," he rubs the nape of his neck, a bit abashed, "more or less."

"I don't know. Sure hope not," you chuckle. That brings on a coughing fit, and Seunghun looks on, brows knit together. He moves close to offer what little comfort he can, but you hold your hand up to stop him; having him near will only make things worse.

Petals threaten to spill out of your mouth, and panic bubbles in your chest when he asks if you're okay. Your doctor, bless her, chooses that moment to enter. She shooes him out "to speak to you in private." Seunghun, to his credit, obliges and flashes you a smile and a thumbs-up as he goes. You try to mirror his expression (and hope your smile isn't more of a grimace).

The door closes behind him with a soft click. "Friend of yours?" the doctor asks.

You spit the blood-stained petals into your hand, your doctor graciously looking the other way as you toss them into the trash. "You could say that."

october 4, 2013; 5:11 PM.

You tugged at your clothing, feeling more than a little uncomfortable as you waited for your best friend to show up. The DJ, a former student, was already hard at work inside the gym. You heard the bass-boosted beginning of the Cupid Shuffle and shot a frantic text to Seunghun.

[05:11 PM] you: holy shit theyre playing the cupid shuffle can you PLEASE hurry up

[05:12 PM] you: idc if this is our first homecoming you better get your ass over here

[05:12 PM] huniebee🐝: give me like two minutes!!

[05:12 PM] you: THE SONGS GONNA BE OVER IN 2 MIN

"Are you waiting for Seunghun?" Hyunsuk had asked, tie already loosened. You two had gotten close—not as close as you and Seunghun, of course—this year as a result of having classes together. You wondered why you ever hated him.

"Yeah. He won't be too late, thank God, but I'm pissed we're missing the Cupid Shuffle. What about you? I remember you bragging all week about 'flexing your dance skills in front of the ladies.' Or are you all talk, as usual?"

"You know, it's almost like you don't want me to wait with you."

You had laughed, knocking your shoulder into his. The chatter kept up for a minute or two before he made his leave. ("Well, it's time for me to flex my dance muscles in front of the seniors," he chuckled, giving you a salute as he walked off.)

"I'm here! God, I can't believe I missed the Cupid Shuffle," Seunghun said, head hung low. You began to feel a little self-conscious; you were feeling out of place in your semi-formal outfit, yet he looked right at home in his dress shirt.

Chasing those thoughts away, you grinned. "You're here now, aren't you? Come on." You took his hand and dragged him into the gym.

You don't talk to Seunghun or to Hyunsuk after that. You're not sure if you should tell Hyunsuk about the whole situation when he texts you. Seunghun must have told him something was up, of course, and he's insightful enough, sensitive enough (when he wants to be), but you worry. You're afraid he'll open his big mouth. Instead, you send a few messages to your best friend.

[04:29 AM] you: hey

[04:29 AM] you: i just wanted to say in advance that im sorry

[04:29 AM] you: im so so sorry for everything ive done and for what im about to do

There's one last message in the text box, daring you to send it. "I'm sorry I love you," you whisper instead, deleting the message before you do something you’ll regret. To seal the deal, you tap through a few menus until you reach his contact. The picture you've assigned to him is one you took; he's about to take a big bite of cotton candy bigger than his head.

With a heavy heart (though you hope it’s just the weight of the daffodils in your chest), you block his contact. It's better this way. It has to be.

Your doctor said you could get rid of the thick, thorned vines with a vicegrip around your heart and lungs, could pluck the flowers that threaten to spill out at the mere thought of your best friend.

The biggest side effect of it all, she told you, was that you'd forget all about Kim Seunghun. So you steel yourself.

The last thing you think about before they insert the thin needle of anesthesia in your veins is Seunghun's smile, and how you'll never see it in person again.

And how even if you did, you wouldn't remember it as the grin from the boy you love.

october 4, 2013; 9:16 PM.

The frenetic strobe lighting in the gym slowed to a stop, having been replaced with a spotlight making lazy rounds through the gym.

You knew that marked the beginning of a slow song, and dragged Seunghun off the floor in search of some punch. He seemed to have different plans, tugging you back on the floor and pulling you flush against him.

"Where are you going?" he had asked. "You're the one who wanted to dance the night away." His hands found your waist, yours instinctively folding behind his neck. You had wanted to say something about how that claim was void now; he was the one that made you miss the Cupid Shuffle, but the words get extinguished when you look at him.

It was just like that time you practiced in fifth grade, but you swore there was something different about tonight and the way you swayed. You thought back to your practice session in fifth grade, how you had stepped on each other's feet, how you spent the whole time laughing. (For the record, it wasn't for any lack of balance; you started it, laughing as he cried out before he stomped on your toe.)

There was no laughing during the song. Everything was vibrant and deafening and there all at once. But at the same time, it was like everything had been stripped away. Everything but you and Seunghun.

Things changed after that. You were left with a dizzying, free-fall sort of feeling that picked up with each glance at your best friend. Almost every butterfly in the world was taking current residency in your stomach, making you feel light as your body moved to the music. Before long, there was something lodged at the back of your throat, nudging its way forward.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick," you said, a particularly heavy cough bringing the mysterious lump to your mouth.

Running your tongue along the smooth texture of the lump (okay, so not phlegm), you spat the offending object into the sink: a single yellow petal, coated in saliva.

You blinked.

Blinked again.

"Oh, what the fuck," you muttered, unlocking your phone. One quick Google search later—why the fuck am i coughing up flowers—you found an answer.

Flora mortem. You were loath to believe WebMD, of all things, but you found yourself tapping the link regardless. There was another term for the rare disease: Hanahaki.

Revising your search query was a mistake. The first result was the "hanahaki" tag on Tumblr, which showed nothing but models with tears in their eyes and bloodied flowers in their mouths. Yikes.

You made your way back to the party after that, but lingering in the back of your mind was the cause of the disease: a severe case of unrequited love.

There is only one definite cure for Hanahaki Disease: having the object of the afflicted's affections return their feelings.

You almost manage to purge the petal and the stupid WebMD page from your mind for the rest of the night.

Almost.

You wake up hours later. It's a little disorienting, sure, to come to with little memory of what landed you in the hospital. You peek under the oversized hospital gown to see bandages over your chest, get tempted to rip the IV drip from your arm. The doctor comes in right before you make a move on the needle. She tells you all about how the flowers in your lungs are gone for good.

"You're saved. But the final test," she says, pulling a phone from her pocket, "is this. Do you recognize the people in this picture?"

You recognize yourself next to a boy you don't know. His hand's around your waist, pulling you close. You wear matching grins. Given the way you're both dressed, you suspect the picture's from your freshman year's homecoming dance. Weird. Memory's kinda fuzzy from that night.

"Yeah. Myself. I don't know the other guy. Am I supposed to?"

"No. You're not. Congratulations," she smiles, placing a hand on your shoulder. "You're cured."

You look through all the old messages and pictures when you have some time to yourself. You reach out for the memory, the feeling of knowing Kim Seunghun. You get nothing, and while your brain knows something's wrong, you're more concerned about being able to breathe easy.

You move to a new city, far, far away from the place you grew up in. You finish your last year of high school, get a job, start college. You make new memories with new people. You forget all about Kim Seunghun.

It gets easy to forget that you weren't born with the ugly faded red scars that run up and down your chest. It's your only remaining tie to the man you loved so much you almost let yourself wither away. You think it's a good thing you cut him off; why stick around, why force yourself to suffer, for someone who doesn't love you back? Why be with someone if it physically hurts to stay by their side?

But sometimes you wonder. What happened? What happened to him after his best friend walked out of his life for good with no explanation?

Those days are never good. You distract yourself then, often with the familiar kick of alcohol burning in the back of your throat. You've never been much of a drinker, but you figure it's never too late to start.

Sometimes, the distraction comes from being in the arms of another.

(One of your favorite distractions, a young man named Byounggon, had run his fingers along the angry lines one night, jotting them down in his map of your body.

"Do you regret it?" he asked then, eyes half-lidded with drowsiness. You cupped his cheek, ran a thumb along the planes of his face.

"I wouldn't be here if I regretted it, now would I?" He let the corners of his mouth turn up just so, pressing his lips to yours.

You don't talk to him much nowadays, your interactions reduced to likes on Instagram, views on Snapchat. He's moved to a bigger city. "More opportunities," he said. You keep up with his dream of being a musician, always. There was a time when you were his number one supporter, after all.)

"Will that be all?" the cashier asks, jotting your order on the plastic cup. When you nod, he asks for your name. He jots that down too.

But then his eyes widen and he looks at you with renewed interest. "I'm sorry?"

"Is there a problem?" you asks, peering at your name (spelled correctly) on the cup. His eyes search for an answer within yours, some sort of explanation you can't seem to give. He averts his gaze, shakes his head, places your cup in the queue of orders.

"I'm sorry," he says. "Just thought you were someone I knew. Have a nice day." You parrot the phrase, catching a glimpse of the young man's name tag.

Seunghun, it reads in cheerful yellow. There's a doodle of a puppy in the top right corner. You think it's rather cute.

Two weeks later, you meet Seunghun again. This time, you're out for a morning jog. The crisp autumn air greets you as your feet meet the pavement and let out a satisfactory crunch under the burnt orange leaves on the sidewalk.

You both get stopped at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to change. While you catch your breath, you don't miss the way he flinches, as though he didn't expect you to show up. He schools his expression into something friendly within no time, and you wonder if you imagined the whole thing.

"The weather's nice, isn't it?"

"It is," you pant. "On your way to work?" He raises a hand to tug at the strap of his backpack with a small smile.

"Yeah. You should come by, give us business," he grins. "On mornings like this, I recommend the hazelnut latte." You hum in agreement, not yet recovered enough to converse. "Tell you what, you come and get one when I'm working, I'll make sure it's on the house."

"Really? Maybe I'll swing by." The light changes, and you leave Seunghun behind, waving goodbye as you do.

You come in later that day, ordering a hazelnut latte as promised. Seunghun's manning the register, same as two weeks ago, and when he takes everything down, he smiles. You miss it as you pay, but there's something extra on your cup.

As you take a sip of the (delicious; his coworker Yedam must be some sort of brewing prodigy) latte, you catch a glimpse of the extra writing.

Along the side of the cup is his phone number.

[10:58 PM] seunghun!: more than anything i want to adopt a puppy

[10:59 PM] seunghun!: or rather another one

[10:59 PM] seunghun!: i named this one after an old friend

[Attachment: 1 image]

The picture of Seunghun and his dog brings a smile to your face. You've been spending more time with him recently, whether it be going on coffee runs ("Are you sure you're not just using me for my employee discount?") or complaining about life as a broke college student ("My card got declined trying to buy a bag of chips last night...").

It's nice. Spending time with him is...nice.

It's more than a simple distraction, somebody to hold close on nights your decisions try to haunt you. It’s friendship, something to hold onto when you lose your way in the dense forest of your mind and to cherish when you manage to make it to a clearing and bask in the sunshine.

You've caught a cold recently (probably from that bastard Seo Changbin in your communications class). Seunghun's given you some homemade tea, swearing on its usefulness. It certainly tastes good, the sweet honey chased by tangy lemon. Unfortunately, the tea isn't able to stop the persistent cough you've been plagued with.

Feeling phlegm start to come up, you turn the bathroom lights on, hacking it up and spitting into the sink.

Huh. That's weird.

There's no phlegm.

The only thing in the sink is a single golden petal, coated in saliva.

#seunghun scenario #seunghun imagine #seunghun angst #kim seunghun scenario #kim seunghun imagine #kim seunghun angst #ygtb scenario #ygtb imagine #ygtb fluff #yg treasure box scenario #yg treasure box imagine #yg treasure box angst #seunghun #ygtb #ari.doc #ariweek 2019 #c9boyz

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ryncorrect · 6 years

Text

university!au: day6 jae

following my uni!au with young k (idk how to link my own post asbajdnskmd im Dumb) so here another one with jae lol i think im gonna make one for each one of them buttttttt no promise bc my brain works in a very mysterious way LOL

anyway leggo

warning: this is lame lmaooooo

name: park jaehyung / jae

major: politic science

other activities: guitarist (and sometimes vocalist) of university band, member of music club, founder and leader of LOL SQUAD

everyone knows that tall skinny guitarist of the band i mean he’s hard to ignore tbh

he always wears loose T-shirt, ripped jeans, a cap that he puts backward, and round big specs to campus

professors hate his ripped jeans but can’t really say anything because oh well style doesn’t define someone’s grades and boy, does this kid actually get some braincells in him

well i mean at least he never fails his classes

he has this giant LOLSQUAD badge on his backpack because he’s proud af of his title as the club founder and leader

he actually started that club so he could to brag about his gaming skill to everyone who wanted to listen but he ends up getting his ass handed to him every single time they play together smh

if he’s not in class or hanging out with his game buddies, he can be seen following that Popular Student™ kang younghyun or as jae prefers to call him, “brian” or “brIBRI” because they both joined music club and are in the band

yes yes he’s well known and easy to spot

but…

“jae? park jaehyung?? who???”

everyone refers to him as “that foreigner student”, “the American guy” or “the gamer guy”, or my favorite: “chicken little”

i will never let that joke die im sorry but seriously he looks like chicken when he plays his guitar on the stage don’t @ me

there are only like 5 students in the whole university who know his actual name

anyways in this scenario you’ve always been interested in playing guitar but haven’t gotten a chance to learn and your friend kim wonpil invites you to join music club so you’ll have friends to practice with

“you know our jaehyungie, right? he’s really chill, you’ll get along well with him!!”

deep inside you’re like

who the heck is jaehyung

but wonpil is so excited to have you there so the next week you come to the club meeting

you introduce yourself to everyone and finally you meet him

“ohmygod the chicken little!!”

“whO THE HECK ARE YOU CALLING THAT”

“sorry- i mean the chicken guitarist- wait no-”

he glares at you, you laugh instead

scaring the new member challenge: failed

but yeah you’d seen him performing before and honestly you almost decided to become his fan

a l m o s t

at first he (jokingly) refuses to teach you guitar because you called him chicken little

and since then you keep calling him that just to mess with him

“hi chicken little”

“what’s poppin chicken little”

“why do you look so flustered, chicken little? do i make you nervous??”

he turns red chicken little is now an angry bird “gO AWAY NEWBIE YOU’RE SO ANNOYING”

jae’s a foreigner but he speaks fluent korean

he tells you that even though he was born and grew up in america he always speaks the language with his parents

but of course since he lives abroad there are lots of words or slang he doesn’t know, so you gotta be an ass and slip some difficult words when you speak to him

he gets his revenge by replying to you in english

whenever you two are having an argument (usually over stupid things) everyone in the club suddenly gets headache

wtf they’re not even making any sense

besides music, jae is the most excited when talking about LOL or social topics because well his major

honestly idk much about politic science so cmiimw

one time someone asks for his opinion about social welfare and he ends up starting a sudden debate session with the said person about social welfare programs in south korea and america and the difference between both countries

you mention human rights and he sNAPS

i mean he gives a full 15 mins speech about it

“yknow what im sayin?”

“dude… i honestly don’t get it at all”

because he be speaking in full english like wat

he’s just so passionate about everything it’s almost adorable

a l m o s t

and it’s not only his passion but also his small eyes, his laugh, his voice, or the way he occasionally lifts his head to look at you while playing guitar and you smile and he smiles because you smile first shnshsbshs soft

even the corners of his lips are so cute wow

oh fuck im emo i love him

but you adore him just as a good friend

he’s always been bubbly and friendly with everyone, not just you, so yeah it’s really easy to fall for him but you assure yourself that you’re nOT

are we having “in denial” shit again omg im so uncreative

anyway fast forward it’s ur birthday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYY

you decide to throw a small party at your place and invite 5 or 6 of your closest friends but damn on the d-day it rains so hard

if ur bday falls on winter then change it to snowing hard, if it’s spring then maybe there’s strong wind or something, whatever suits you fam lol

so no one comes to your party lol you are Sad

BUT THEN!!!! JAE SHOWS UP!!!!!

PARK JAEHYUNG

OUT OF ALL PEOPLE

no you didn’t invite him because idk

are we really that close??? ehhhh he probably won’t come anyway haha why bother

BUT!!!! HE SHOWS UP!!! IN FRONT OF YOUR DOOR!!!

he’s carrying an umbrella but it didn’t really help apparently because he’s soaking wet

imagine that view i mean nvm

“i happened to be near here and i remember it’s your birthday today so i think i’m gonna drop by to say hi and suddenly it’s raining too hard on the way but anyway happy birthday can you let me in first i’m cold”

ofc you let jae in i mean we can’t let the chicken catch the flu amirite

but you warn him that he’ll have to leave before 11 or your RA will kick you both out the dorm lol

after a towel, two cups of hot tea, and one shared piece of chocolate cake, you told him you were supposed to have a small party tonight but no one could make it because of the rain and he’s like “hOW DARE YOU HAVING A PARTY BUT NOT INVITING ME I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL” and you’re just like “lol shut up chicken here eat more cake”

anyways you two spend time joking and talking about random stuff and it’s probably not the best birthday ever but at least you don’t have to spend it alone and to be honest you’re happy that he’s here

then jae pulls out his ultimate weapon

i mean his guitar

he was soaking wet but the guitar is clean and dry and all fine like hoW EVEN

“priorities” -park jaehyung

he said he gonna play a song of your choice because he came empty handed and he feels bad about it

you blush and pick whatever song comes to your mind because you can’t really think of any, and he starts strumming his guitar and sings

and while he keeps looking at you, you find yourself too can’t take your eyes off him

the song ends and you’re about to clap your hands when he suddenly starts another one

wait you’ve never heard this song before

it’s a slow song and the lyrics are all like, the sky turns dark on the birthday of the brightest star so that it’ll be the only light in his world, how he feels regretful that he has nothing to give but his small heart, and he hopes that this lovely person will hold his hand as they listen to this song together, that this lovely person will feel warm beside him

guys just imagine the song okay i can’t Romance

it’s dead silent until you whisper, “is that… a song for me?”

jae’s face turns red and he starts panicking™ like “i made up the lyrics just now okay i know it’s fricking sappy and cheesy as hell okay i just uhhh want to cheer you up!!!! because you seem kinda down!!!!! let’s not talk about this again uGh WhatEvER leT Me LIvE!!!!!”

but you chuckle and thank him, it was the best present you can get from anyone

you two stare at each other for a second that feels like years and he finally breaks the silence, “you know,,, maybe i came here on purpose,,, maybe actually i want to see you,,,”

“and why is it?”

“because i think,,, i miss you,,, kinda”

and you don’t say this out loud but maybe you do know that

even if you say you’ll never

in fact you’ve already fallen for him a bit

or perhaps a lot

like a lot

then he leans in to kiss your lips and you kiss back and it’s almost not awkward at all, it just feels right as if you’ve kissed him million times before

a l m o s t

you two still blush real hard after

but yeah that’s how you two start dating

none of you two tell anyone about it but it’s pretty obvious, i mean jae always picks you up at your dorm, he walks with you to your class or vice versa (if your classes don’t overlap tho), you two keep stealing glances at each others, also—

jae with you: “hey,,,, come here sit with me u3u,,,,, did you have lunch??? oh i wrote a song last night check this out,,,, what are you gonna do this saturday? oml you’re so cute”

jae with everyone else: “HAHAHAHA FUCKING FUCK SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING PRICK ALSO BRIAN FUCKING KANG IF YOU STEAL MY FUCKING FRIES AGAIN I WILL LITERALLY SNAP YOUR FUCKING NECK”

welp actually he’s not always sweet with you, sometimes you two still argue about silly things using mixed languages but now everyone in the club knows better to just run away once it begins

because it’ll end up with you two fighting or you two kissing

yes im nasty and a disappointment bye

btw wonpil is excited af it’s almost like he’s dating you both

“it’s really nice seeing you two finally together!!!!!!! especially because jaehyung really couldn’t shut up about you ever since the first day you joined our music club”

“wait wha-”

“YOU SNAKE THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET FUCK OFF”

I’m so in love with park jaehyung y'all hsnshsbsh aNYWAYS!!! 100 blocks limit has lifted from tumblr app AYEEEEE

#day6 #jae #park jaehyung #day6 imagines #day6 scenarios #day6 fanfic #day6 reactions #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #this is embarassing smh #bye

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ilikemypancakesfresh · 6 years

Text

JUST BAKUSQUAD THINGS 101 ❤

* A thousand miles piano music plays in bg*

[ BAKUSQUAD: BAKUGOU, KIRISHIMA, SERO, KAMINARI AND MINA ]

When Bakugou gets mad at us for being too noisy when we're all gathered in one room ♡

Bakugou: "I'm going to fucking buy food and DONT YOU FUCKING DARE STOP STUDYING YOU GOT THAT YOU FUCKSTICKS!?"

Us: "GOT IT!"

* 5 mins later *

Bakugou: "Alright dumbasses I bought-"

📱🔊: How to ask rats to mate by making rat mating calls at them | step by step tutorial on how to make rat mating noises | 7 hours serious and complex technique

Kaminari: "Oh hey Bakugou! Do you think this video will work on the principal??"

Bakugou: * S H O U T S *

When Kaminari does weird shit and Bakugou gets mad ♡

When Kirishima spilled red hair dye all over Bakugou's dorm bed without Bakugou knowing but in the end we all blamed it on the contraction of atoms but Bakugou wasn't that stupid so he still got mad at us ♡

When Sero replaced all of Bakugou's spicy oreos with toothpaste and Bakugou gets mad ♡

When Mina texted us that she needed important backup in the middle of the night only to know that she needed 3 people to bring her makeup bags to prank Bakugou ♡

Bakugou full on fake eyelashes, winged eyeliner, pink blush, colorful eyeshadow, overlined big red lips, sharp contour, Blinding highlighter and drawn in eyebrows ♡

That was the pretties he's ever looked despite having that ugly look when he's asleep ♡

He woke up the next morning to take coffee downstairs and everyone laughed ♡

He killed us ♡

All 5 of us arrived 1 hour late to school in the end ♡

Getting Bakugou a real life sized full body pillow of all might ♡

He actually uses it ♡

Watching vines together ♡

Making tik toks together ♡

Laughing together ♡

LAUGHING AT BAKUGOU TOGETHER ♡

Taking selfies with Bakugou's mad face ♡

Bakugou leaving the group chat because we made his face the pfp ♡

despite us being annoying Bakugou still wants to hang around us ♡

He feeds us ♡

Bakugou acting like a mad and stressed out mother with 4 children ♡

Playing the dick game where we randomly shout "DICK" in public ♡

One time we all were teasing Bakugou about how he was such a pussy for not playing and he ended up shouting dick so loud this one lady fainted ♡

When Bakugou actually helps us with homework and studying for tests ♡

We all fail except for Bakugou ♡

Slacking off on homework ♡

Kaminari and Mina connect their phones to 2 of Bakugou's bluetooth speakers and watching dank memes on full volume ♡

Bakugou breaking his doors from the outside because we were being too noisy inside his room ♡

Almost catching Bakugou's dorm on fire when we were lighting a candle ♡

Sero: * S C R E A M S *

*Bakugou running back into his dorm room*

*BREAKS DOOR*

Bakugou: "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED ARE YOU FUCKS OKA-

Sero: "KAMINARI GET YOUR DICK OUT OF MY FACE"

Kaminari: "IT'S NOT LIKE IM DOING THIS ON PURPOSE"

Kirishima: "This is a manly game!"

Mina: "ALRIGHT NOW KIRISHIMA PUT YOUR LEFT ASSCHEEK ON THE BLUE CIRCLE!"

Kaminari: "OH HEY BAKUGOU WE'RE PLAYING TWISTER WANNA JOIN?"

Bakugou: "I TOLD ALL OF YOU CUNTS I WAS GOING OUT TO BUY FUCKING GROCERIES AND I TOLD YOU ALL TO CLEAN UP DAMN ROOM THAT YOU SHITHEADS FUCKED UP AND NOW YOU'RE PLAYING TWISTER?"

♡

Finishing all of Bakugou's snacks ♡

Our job is to annoy Bakugou ♡

Mina and Kaminari buying a shit ton of candy for us to eat ♡

Constantly dabbing, whipping, fortnite dancing, T posing, and singing happy birthday to Bakugou even when it's not his birthday ♡

Our secret handshake ♡

Kaminari buying a pet cockroach and naming it Ostrich ♡

Riding carts at the grocery store together ♡

Sero shouting random shit around the dorms ♡

Pranking Bakugou by wrapping all of his furniture in Sero's tape ♡

making-

"For how much longer are all you fuckers making this list for?" - Bakugou

"BUT BAKUGOU THIS IS IMPORTANT!! ALL OF OUR MEMORIES TOGETHER WE'LL PUT IT ALL IN THIS ONE BOOK!!" - Kirishima

"Yeah I don't want to forget all of these moments we have with you!" - Mina

"All of this was so fun and it all went by so fast..." -Sero

" 3 more days until we finally graduate UA huh?" - Kaminari

" It's really been a long ride... " -Sero

" An enjoyable one too!" -Mina

"I loved all of the moments I have with you guys... even the moments when we were having fun and Bakugou getting mad at us!" -Kirishima

"Man.. I miss being 15 all of the sudden.." -Kaminari

"Lmao i remember the days where everyone would see us walk together in the hallways and whisper to each other 'oH iTs tHE bAkUsqUad!' man... I'll really miss it" -Mina

"We had so many memories together I can't even remember all of those stupid things we did with each other and to each other" -Sero

"Lucky us that we wrote all of the memories of class 1-A huh?" -Kaminari

"Yeah! Oh and i still remember that time me and Sero bought those matching hot dog suits for halloween!" - Mina

"3 more days. 3 more days until we're all grown ups." - Kirishima

"Class 1-A was the sickest class I've ever been to! Man we even got to fight real villains that time! It was so cool!" - Kaminari

"HAHA I REMEMBER BAKUGOU GETTING MAD AT MIDORIYA FOR THE LITTLEST THINGS" - Sero

"OMG REMEMBER THAT TIME WHEN BAKUGOU GOT MAD AT MIDORIYA FOR BREATHING?" - Mina

"SHUT UP YOU PILE OF SHITS." -bakugou

"I really can't believe we're gonna graduate in 3 more days and then we're off as solo heroes.." -Kirishima

"... who the fuck said we have to be solo heroes?" -Bakugou

" This isn't the end of our journey. We still got more shit to do. " - Bakugou

" Shit that we all haven't done. Shit that I'd like to do with all of you fuckers. Even if you're all annoying." -Bakugou

" Now hurry up and give me a turn to write in that book! I remember a whole lot of shit that you assholes did to me!" -Bakugou

"All of us always did have a special connection with each other. Bakugou is always mad but that doesn't mean he hates us. These 3 years in UA have made me stronger. Manlier. I'm glad to have met you all!" - Signed by Kirishima Eijirou, 17, doesn't know how to read

"Writing this note in this very book from when we first started our journey together back in class 1A makes me emotional. Like- really really emotional. I'm actually sobbing lol. I love all of you guys so much. I'm so happy that we'll still be a squad even after graduation!" Signed by Mina Ashido, 17, still gets called racoon eyes by Bakugou

"Soy souce face. That's my name B). I'm very happy that i could meet such fun people that gets my sense of humor like you guys. I always thought hero schools would have such boring students. But then, I met the 4 of you. Memelords and viners. I can't thank you all enough" - Signed by Sero Hanta, 17, still gets nightmares of Bakugou in midnight's her outfit

"aAYYyyYyY! Really the best 3 years of my entire life! 1-A was the sick class where all of us first met. I remember joking with all of you and how much stomachaces i had from laughing. And i remember all of our vlogs we upload on HeroTube too. WE ARE ALL COOL DUDES AND I LOVE YOU GUYS A WHOLE LOT! - Signed by Kaminari Denki, 17, wants to eat a electric pole

" Don't you fucks darw take this idea the wrong way. I don't dislike the 4 of you and I actually had a shit ton of fun and laughs. Made my shitty 3 years better. Now let's continue these shitty memories after graduating too." - Signed by Katsuki Bakugou, 17, LORD EXPLOSION MURDER.

Bakusquad really is the best squad huh?

84 notes · View notes

chimchimchoo · 6 years

Text

Fly Me to the Moon :: Ch 7

Genre: Pure fluff crack

Word Count: 1,369

Pair: Yoongi x Jimin

Collaborated with @tayvengeance

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

“CHEER UP THIS SAD, EMO BOY!”

02-222-3333

Jimin stared at the note on the bathroom wall for a solid 5 minutes before he pulled out his phone and typed in the number.

authors note: we do not own any of the pictures, for better formatting so it’s more comfortable to read, check it out on AO3! AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14944508/chapters/36107328 Twitters: Tae’s Sujin’s <3 - Tae & sujin

Chat With Mochi_Moves:

2016.02.12

15:30

Mochi_Moves:

hey

sugar lips

SUGA:

hey baby boy

do you even like it when I call you that?

I’ve never asked.

Mochi_Moves:

You can call me anything you like

but if you ever call me butterbean

i swear we’re ending this right here and now

SUGA:

why the fuck would I call you butterbean

what the fuck does that even mean?

butter doesn’t come from beans.

Mochi_Moves:

i’ve heard couples say it

(believe it or not)

i think i gagged a couple of times

SUGA:

not this fucking couple.

we’re classy.

I just send you one of these

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHIKf0f9E40

and I 100% know I got u.

Mochi_Moves:

and this is why i love you

my oojy coojy woojy moojy poo-poo

SUGA:

WHAT IN FUCK.

Mochi_Moves:

what’s wrong honey bunny buckles?

SUGA:

hi I don’t appreciate this name experimentation

you got going on

keep sugar lips

pls

im begging u

Mochi_Moves:

sure thing sugar lips

it suits you best anyhow

SUGA:

wow I love you

:) :) :) :)

so Valentines day is a shit fest holiday but it’s coming up

in like 2 days, and we’re dating.

So like were you expecting anything that day?

Mochi_Movies:

well

i mean

i was thinking of spending valentines day

as a pre-date

for our 3 month anniversary c:

it’s back to back

and i’m planning the big night this time

SUGA:

whatcha planning, love?

Mochi_Moves:

i’ll tell you when the day gets closer

it’s still in the works

SUGA:

Well

if you want

on valentines

we could get a hotel room

and spend the day alone together

Mochi_Moves:

should i

should i bring a polaroid camera?

SUGA:

;)

we might use it

Mochi_Moves:

alright, i’ll bring it c;

SUGA:

This is me on my way to make a reservation at the

Lotte hotel around here

Mochi_Moves:

wow, look at my man

i love him so much???

be careful with those good looks

someone can easily snatch you away

SUGA:

But how can someone snatch my heart

when you already have it

Mochi_Moves:

what country did i save in my past life to get myself a man like this

SUGA:

Weren’t you Mother Teresa?

Joan of Arc?

Gandhi?

any of those lives could have landed you me in this one

;)

Mochi_Moves:

don’T MAKE ME CRY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DANCE ROOM MIN YOONGI

SUGA:

I LOVE YOU

Mochi_Moves:

you’re lucky everyone else is grabbing food rn

SUGA:

oh you look delicious

wow

Mochi_Moves:

I know

i’m a full course meal that gets served at the queen’s palace

made by the most skilled italian chefs

SUGA:

damn right you are

wow

and I get you all to myself.

I’m spoiled rotten

how did I deserve such a royal meal?

Mochi_Moves:

that’s just what we do

spoil each other rotten

i love it c:

SUGA:

Baby all I want to do is spoil you rotten

What do you want? I’ll get you anything you want

for valentines day

Mochi_Moves:

actually, i don’t really want anything

i already have everything i want

as disgustingly cliche as that sounds

it’s 100% true

SUGA:

well then i guess the only package you get to unwrap is mine

;)

Mochi_Moves:

SUGA:

OH MY GOD

I WAS JUST JOKING

Mochi_Moves:

but

i wasn’t

SUGA:

………

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHIKf0f9E40

Mochi_Moves:

start running to that hotel sugar lips

SUGA:

tsk tsk, too impatient, Jiminnie.

gotta build up to the moment.

Mochi_Moves:

ahh

ill try

SUGA:

come with me to book this fucking room

…

and let me kiss you~

Mochi_Moves:

hmm

i guess the dance team can live without me for a few hours

give me 10 minutes

SUGA:

Who said I’d let you go back to dance practice

;)

Mochi_Moves:

well by all means

i’m calling out sick

hoseok hyung can deal

and make that 5 minutes

c :

SUGA:

You’re so damn easy to please

i love it

yes

come to your favourite hyung~

Mochi_Moves:

actually make that 10 minutes

i need a coffee

wouldnt want me to fall asleep on you now would you?

can i grab anything for my sugar lips?

SUGA:

you know what I like :)

Mochi_Moves:

yes i know i know you’d like me

but what about something to /drink/

SUGA:

you can grab me a glass

because you’re the hydrating drink of water

that I’ve been craving all day

;)

Mochi_Moves:

oh my god

tall black coffee it is

and probably a condom

if that lust doesnt chill

SUGA:

I was gonna save the sex for valentines

but if you really want

;) ;) ;) ;)

Mochi_Moves:

the condoms gonna be on hold

its gotta be special like you said

it can wait c:

SUGA:

good.

also

should there be music?

is there a song you wanna have sex to?

have you ever thought about this Jimin?

Mochi_Moves:

music??

but dont people always say that the voices alone

are music to their ears??

or was that just straight up poetic

SUGA:

I mean

in my dreams

when you moan my name

it puts fucking Bach to shame

Mochi_Moves:

oh my gOD

SUGA:

So is that a no on the music?

Mochi_Moves:

what about a piece with your piano?

id love nothing more than something of yours

what about

first love?

SUGA:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyHaRCMbx6A

what about this piece Namjoon filmed for class once

It’s called I Need U

Mochi_Moves:

wow

look at my beautiful man playing a beautiful song

i love it

its perfect

SUGA:

HAVE I NOT SHOWN YOU THIS VIDEO?

Mochi_Moves:

NO CLEARLY NOT

WHAT KIND OF BOYFRIEND ARE YOU

SUGA:

We filmed it that one day I had re-bleached my hair

before I dyed it silver

Because he said I looked like all innocent in all white

but

I Need U

yeah

I kinda wrote it

with you in mind

there’s no lyrics or anything

but the song is about idk

i guess how you help me live my best life?

Not to sound emo or anything

but

It’s like I need you because my crippling depression and

anxiety will take hold of me and you kinda ground me?

Idk I put a lot of emotional weight on you.

I’m sorry

but I’ve never been able to love like this before.

So yeah, another song for you.

How many songs have I made for you now?

Mochi_Moves:

Min Yoongi

never apologize for writing songs

if it expresses yourself better

and makes you happier

in fact

keep writing more

write as many as your heart desires

because shamelessly

i love it when you write songs about me

SUGA:

Jiminnie

i’ll write you an album

20 songs

all 5 minutes long

2 albums

fuck, as many as it takes

I’ll write you songs until I physically can’t write anymore

Mochi_Moves:

for every song you write

i’ll create a choreography for it

just for you

SUGA:

Power couple.

that’s us.

Mochi_Moves:

just your typical disgustingly cute and Gay™ couple

SUGA:

so uh…

not to break up this charming conversation

because it is

and i love you

but

how’s that coffee coming along?

Mochi_Moves:

its tall (unlike you)

and hot

SUGA:

*and hot (like you)

I think that’s what you meant

Mochi_Moves:

yes of course

i’d figure you knew

so i didn’t need to remind you

the tall fact

however

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

SUGA:

yah

you’re the same fuckin height

shut your beautiful mouth

Mochi_Moves:

dont tell me how to live my life

SUGA:

It’s been like 11 minutes

where is my chim chim

I need u baby

and that coffee

but mostly you

Chim Chiminnie

Chim Chim Cherrie

Yoongi’s as lucky as lucky can beeeee

Chim Chiminnie

Chim Chim Cheroo

I don’t know the rest of the song

but I sure do love you~

Mochi_Moves:

sorry

i ran into kookie on the way

did you just sing mary poppins??

anyway where are you

im at the hotel

but i cant find you

theres just a bunch of tall business men here

and one short guy

oh wait

there you are!

SUGA:

fuck you

I’m inside

Mochi_Moves:

3 notes · View notes

thevoidofshitposts · 7 years

Photo

I was tagged by @fersaurio thanks luv. Uhhhhh this is gonna be really weird. Rip im on my phone atm in class replying to this cause my proff cant use a computer. 1) I started off painting landscapes . I didnt switch to drawing/painting people untill i was 14/15 range. Ive only been doing people for 5 years roughly. But i had like 0 friends and all i did was draw. To this day the only person i talk to on a normal basis is my bf. Because he drags me out of my room away from my art tablet so i dont over do it. Lol. 2) I really love to sew . Though im crap at it and normaly only do it for cons . I also have a bad habbit of not finishing projects and forgetting about them. 3) im a 2nd year university student with a bad leaving things to the last minit habbit. Also getting off topic. But yet im a workaholic with art and have spent 12 hours stright on stuff many times with little breaks. I lose track of time when vent doodling. 4) when i was in 4th grade i spent 2 months with my parents in a rv and drove from my city in canada to california. Ive been to a fair amount of attactions and sights that i dont even recall. 5) i clean when im stressed out and yet my room is still a trash pit some how. I can confirm my room is a endless void of landry and random things. My cosplays are never all in one place. I still cant find my skirt for my brs uniforme. 6) i collect sharp and shiny things. Sadly after we rearanged my room i cant find any of my shit half the time and randomly impail my self on things. Or trip. Or just sit on the floor looking into the void that is my room blankly untill i recall why i came into my room in the first place. Im mentaly 80 i swear some times. Get off my lawn. 7) the doctors at the hosptail once told me that corpeses had more color in there face then me. I wish i was kidding. I need more sun. i also freaked out there med students that were touring in the er because i took 3 fluid bags in a iv and my blood pressure still didnt go up to normal level where i should be awake. But i was just chilling fine once the pain killers kicked in. lol also apprently i have like no veins anyware but in my hand that the full time needle guy can never find. In the blood work flie for me they have in blod text " use a hot pack on hand " lol. Also that it might take 12 (that one time sucked) times min 3 . Rarely one. My body fucking hates me. Im always sick. Always. 8) I had a stalker for two years untill they moved ((and i got a restraining order)). So im a wee bit cautious with people offline. 9) Im really intrested in history. Debated doing my minor in classics instead of anthropology. But the professor i would have to take a class from inorder to get it is a huge ass hole. So no also debated dropping out of unoversoty and going to art school like my mother want me to . At this point im only staying in uni to be a spitefull little shit. Plus degree with skeletal anatomy can be good for anything really. And i like looking at the material even though it smells awful. I plan on making a summary post on what it is i study some day. 10) Im a huge dork. I really am. Im apprently good at puzzel games ? i beat 100 levels in a day once. Ended up 4th on the leader board and then gave up because i got board meh. Currently dropped down to 29th place after not touching it for 3 weeks.

2 notes · View notes

saintkimora · 7 years

Text

ok, here is a full account of what happened yesterday and the new events from today. caleb if you are seeing this please respect my privacy and stop reading now

ok so it started the other day. caleb texted me at night saying he wanted to talk to me about something serious the next day. i asked what it was about and he said he just wanted to be friends but i didnt read too much into it bc he is impulsive so i figured he would come to his senses the next day

so then yesterday happened. i had just gotten out of sociology at like 10:40am and i saw that he had texted me all these things about breaking up. then when i got to my car he called me on the phone. he then proceeded to break up with me over the phone. his reasoning was that since hes prob moving in a few weeks, he wanted to stop being boyfriends now that way when he does leave itll hurt less than it would, so like easing himself out of the relationship basically. i think its a stupid idea

so these are the issues i had. the first was that he broke up with me over the phone, not even in person. and like i was crying over the phone and his tone was just like very cold and detached and business like and that really hurt me bc he obv knew i was crying but i didnt feel any sympathy from him whatsoever. like if he was crying i would obv be comforting him and trying to make him feel better not talking like a robot. another thing that hurt was that he gave up on the long distance relationship before we could even try it. it made me feel like i was so worthless and unimportant that he didnt even feel like putting forth the effort to make our relationship work. and the fact that he did this all over a 10 minute phone call on his way to the gym. and then like 20 min after he had the NERVE to post a video on his snap story of him at the gym saying “feeling so good *blushing smile emoji*” like that really hurt my feelings and when i told him that later he was like “oh stop making everything about you it was just how i was feeling after working out” but like? i know he obv wasnt saying that he felt so good about breaking up. but what bothered me was that like after he broke up w me, i was a mess i was literally crying all day and i couldnt do anything but cry i was so upset. and then here he is just going on with his day like its another normal tuesday. like the fact that he was capable of being so happy not even a few hours after breaking my heart made me feel like i was nothing, like it was just an errand like “oh im gonna break up with perry then go to the gym lol” and the fact that he did it over the phone just made me feel so insignificant like i was nothing to him and that really hurt. and like ive tried to be the best boyfriend i can be for him and i try to do everything he asks of me so for him to just break up with me in such a dismissive way makes it feel like he doesnt even care

so i was crying in my car, like really bad like i was BAWLING. so i went to the student counseling center and asked for a crisis meeting and i got set up w this counselor named josh. he was nice and tried to help me calm down and focus on orgo. it was nice to have someone to talk to i guess

so then i went home. he called me again to like try to explain himself but only made me feel worse. he was like “you know when i move im not gonna be able to see you everyday and cuddle with you and fall asleep on your chest anymore” and that just made me sadder and i was crying again on the phone. then later we were texting and he was like denying breaking up with me. like, you said you wanted to just be friends and you explicitly said that you didnt want to be boyfriends anymore so how is that not breaking up??? and he said “i was trying to have a conversation with you but all you did was cry.” with the period to show how serious he was. and it really hurt me when he said that bc it felt like he was mad at me and using me crying against me, like i somehow did something wrong by crying. again if he was the one crying i would not be holding it against him like that so i really wish he didnt say that bc it made me feel bad for being emotional which should not be something to feel bad about. and at the end of the call he didnt say i love you like he always does so that hurt my feelings as well

and like i took away the hearts from his contact name and changed my phone backgrounds since they were pictures of him and that just made me really sad

i skipped psych and anatomy lecture but i couldnt skip my anatomy practical. i cried when i was backing up my car to leave bc i saw the “hi <3″ that he wrote in the dirt on my back windshield a while ago and it just set me off. so i got to school and i was planning on having this be the dropped grade so i wasnt like worried but i got a 90 anyways so that was nice. the prof was like “perry whats wrong you look depressed” and i was like im just a little sad today and he was like why and i was like “bc my significant other broke up w me” (i used s/o bc idk how my prof is about those things so i didnt wanna say bf). he told me this story about how in his senior year of college he had such bad mono it was misdiagnosed as hodgkins disease so he was given 18 months to live and his gf of 4 years left him after finding out. so he told me “perry, girls are like a bus. if you miss one, another one will come along in 15 minutes. if i had daughters i would tell them the same thing about guys” so that was nice that he tried to cheer me up. then when i was leaving from the other room (bc we leave our stuff in the other room during the practical) the TA came to me from the main room and wished me luck on my finals so that was nice of him

so then i went home. then at 10pm i met w caleb in person in his car. we talked and at first he would not let me get a word in and he just kept defending himself and what also upset me was that he thought the reason i was so upset was that he was moving and he was so defensive like “i wish i could stay here but i have no choice i cant afford to live here its too expensive” and like that is not what upset me!!! i already knew he was moving ive had time to accept it what upset me was how he broke up w me for no reason w almost no warning and did it in such a cold way. and like the way i see it is since hes leaving instead of easing ourselves out of the relationship to stop us from getting hurt when he actually leaves (which wont happen bc itll hurt regardless), i figured we should make the most of our time together and enjoy each other as much as possible since we’ll have plenty of time to get over each other AFTER he moves. so when i told him my point of view he was like “i wish i thought of it like that, im really bad at this” so that was how i resolved the issue. he was hesitant about keeping the bf label but i told im i really wanted to and i didnt see a point in taking away the label now anyways. i also told him i at least wanted to try long distance instead of giving up before it even happens. i dont remember what he said to it though lol i was too emotional. but yeah the beginning of the convo just felt like he was berating me and i started to cry again bc i dont like it when hes rude to me like that

then he told me that im so sensitive i could see a squirrel in the road and cry and i had to explain to him that i am not a sensitive and emotional person! im normally v reserved w my emotions like ive only cried maybe 3 times the past 8 years and that im just emotional when it comes to him bc i care about him so much

another thing that bothered me was that he said every relationship teaches a lesson, and from ours he learned not to rush into things. i dont get that bc yes we did rush but that wasnt really a bad thing? like he wouldve moved regardless so taking things slow wouldnt have changed that. and like since we rushed into things it will hurt more when he leaves since we are closer than we would be if we took it slow but also like, if we didnt rush we wouldnt have gotten so close and had so much fun together in the first place. so imo the benefits of getting so close so fast vastly outweighed the pain of him leaving

so everything would be great except for this next part. he told me the easing out of the relationship thing was bc he got the advice to do that from his mom and leeann. so when i got home i made a post calling leeann toxic and his mom stupid for interfering in our relationship. and like yall can tell that obv i was kidding and just exaggerating for humorous effect like i dont really think his mom is stupid or that leeann was toxic, just that their advice in the situation was bad. but caleb texted me this morning being so rude calling me disgustingly disrespectful for saying that and he said that “next time you think about doing this remember how it felt when i dumped you (so he admitted that he did dump me) - and get those tissues ready” (since ive been using a lot of tissues since i was crying so much). that really really hurt my feelings bc 1. he is once again using me crying against me and 2. it shows a total lack of sympathy for me crying, like it felt like hell yesterday i was so upset and he knows that so for him to threaten to put me through that again just shows he doesnt really care about me or my feelings.

he also said i need to stop using him and leeann and his mom as “characters in your online stories” like...these arent online stories? this blog is where i vent and talk about my feelings since i dont have anyone to do that with irl and i need to get them out somewhere im not writing these posts to be mean it just feels good to put my thoughts into words instead of bottling them up and even my therapist thinks its a good thing for me to do

so he said that but i was NOT having it. i typed up a long text in response and even i admit it was kinda mean. like in his he said “dont even talk to me for the rest of the day” so at the end of my text i said “dont talk to me ever i am perfectly fine w never talking to you again the rest of my life so bye have fun in new hampshire or whatever” and he was like “perry stop you dont mean that last part” and then he called me and once again got defensive he said he was just trying to have a convo w me and i was being aggressive for no reason. like, no??? a convo would have been texting me like “perry i know its your personal blog where you post your feelings but this post upset me and this is why” not coming at me with 4 super rude texts out of nowhere. so he was trying to play the victim and paint me as irrational and that im overreacting just like he did yesterday and i didnt like it! he was just dismissing my feelings again. so i went OFF in this phone call like wow i really snapped and it felt good tbh

like i think he was just expecting me to sit there and take it and apologize like i usually do when he gets like this but i am done doing that! so i think he was caught off guard that i stood up for myself. i was like caleb i really dont care i have the most important orgo test of the semester today you already took yesterday from me but today i am not entertaining it if you have an issue call me after my test” and i ended the convo and hung up and then he texted me “good luck on your test” like ok hi king of passive aggressiveness

so thats it. i felt good at first but later on i felt bad so i texted him apologizing for snapping at him but i said i wont discuss the tumblr issue until we are in person. i asked if he was free tonight and he said no he wants a day or two to be separate and normally i would understand but like...hes moving in a few weeks i really dont want to waste time fighting and being in this weird place

not to be out of order but another thing that got on my nerves was when we made up last night. he said “once i move youll have more free time for things like school, work, maybe going to the gym” like once again here he is commenting on my appearance! like yes i know im scrawny and i wish i wasnt but im sick of him taking jabs at my looks like my body, acne, and eyebrows when i literally have NOTHING but nice things to say about how he looks. it makes me feel bad when he points out my flaws like that and a good boyfriend is not supposed to make me feel like that

now for the most recent development. leeann sent me this LONG fb message bc caleb told her what i posted about her. like why does he have to expose me like that! i didnt read the message i was like “yeah im not reading this but just so you know i was kidding i wasnt serious i was exaggerating lol” and she was like ok lol

i just dont know why she thinks i care about her input on MY relationship? like youre calebs friend not mine to be frank i dont give a fuck what you think about whats best for my relationship like you dont know me so mind your business

and thats another thing. in the past caleb has gotten pissed at me for sharing our business too much (by telling my friends (who he will literally never meet since they all went away for school) and by posting on here) yet here he goes telling leeann everything! seems hypocritical to me

and heres a second thing. i have always told caleb that my blog is my personal space where i can safely vent and talk about my feelings and that he should respect my privacy by not reading my personal posts. and ive told him that if he does wanna read them then hes doing so at his own risk bc im not going to filter myself bc this is MY space not his so if he really wants to overstep his boundaries and look at my posts then he cant get mad at me for them bc HE is the one choosing to read them even after my warning! so i dont think he should be getting mad at me especially when i was in such an extreme state of mind yesterday since he put me through the worst day of my life for no reason which literally couldve been 100% avoided if he had just waited to talk to me in person instead of breaking up w me over the phone. and like now i feel like this isnt even a space place for me to express myself anymore since theres a chance of him seeing. and i tried blocking him before but he made a new blog and wont tell me the url so i cant block him smh

so yeah thats everything that happened. im kinda stressed rn w this whole leeann drama even though he shouldnt have been reading my posts in the first place. like its just so much drama and i dont like how it feels and idk why this relationship turned sour so fast and i wish he would just be nice and sweet to me again. so hopefully things get better

#this is so long omg #if any of you actually read all of this or even just skim it i love you <3 #personal

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