#im so angry and overwhelmed and I dont even want to write anymore

[phantom-does-a-thing]

bleg

[paint-it-dead]

I googled the Belladonna of Sadness and: “To take revenge, she makes a pact with the Devil himself who appears as an erotic sprite and transforms her into a black-robed vision of madness and desire.” (Femto, the blessed king of longing) “The spirit visits Jeanne once again and rapes her in exchange for more riches“ (Gennon and Griffith) ”the baron offers to make Jeanne the second-highest noble in the land, but she refuses, saying she wishes to take over the entire world.” (Ok Miura HAD to have seen this, right? Wtf…Griffith…)

omg if you havent watched it check it out, check it out, check it out!!!!!

i think i read somewhere that Miura was inspired by it in writing Berserk? but i cant say that with full confidence...

but the parallels!!! the story goes even deeper than what you said! its been almost a year since ive watched it, so my memory of it is not 100%, but ill talk about what i can remember!

(spoilers ofc)

it contains incredible artwork and its set in pre-revolution France(remind you of another manga berserk was inspired by?) and it talks about a beautiful woman- The Most Beautiful Woman Alive!!!- who has just gotten married to the love of her life! but the marriage can only be made legal by the king/ the baron of the lands(an aristocrat of sorts i dont recall properly) who immediately as he sees her, takes her and rapes her. what should have been the happiest night of her life spent with her lover, is spent being defiled, helpless as she is to fight her fate; a poor powerless woman against the all powerful aristocrat. she becomes someone else; traumatised and desperate and her husband cannot look at her the same anymore. but amid all the grief regarding what was taken from her and how she was changed, arises a new emotion: rage. she wants power. she wants vengance. for every petal of hers that was wilted, she wants to birth a new thorn.

now if you're trying to draw parallels, ig this can be a perfect parallel with griffith getting tortured by the king. the helplessness and the toll of it all. the way how it affects his decision-making in the series.

but now as our beautiful woman is stuck in her bottomless desparate anguish, a new character appears before her: a small evil spectre! he looks her straight in the eyes and says. i am you. and you are me. give everything you have to me and i will grant you what you wish for: a chance to make things even. she is poor, she has nothing to give. so the spectre takes her body. defiles her the same way. and she is granted success. she is granted money. her husband and her reap the benefits of her new powers. now the aristocrat is feeling threatened by her status, tries to appease her-offers her lands and riches beyond a simple commoners imagination. but she, unbothered, responds:"money? lands? im not interested in something as small as that, beacuse im going to take over the world." appalled by her ambition, the aristocrat orders she be exiled as a witch, never to return. this whole time the spectre just grows bigger and bigger. stronger and stronger. the more she hates and gains and succeeds, the louder it roars. the more angry and resentful she becomes, the hungrier it grows. its goal: to break her strong spirit piece by piece, little by little. and when she is exiled and thoroughly broken, it reveals himself: he is actually the devil. he asks: what do you crave? he knows what she wants: power. she asks him to make her into a devil, into a wicked, ugly, wrathful woman who will strike fear into the hearts of anybody who crosses her. she doesnt want to be desirable anymore. her beauty was her cage, her curse. and thats what the specter does. transforms her into an all powerful demon.

but as she aweakens from the transformation, she notices that she has become lovlier, more desirable than she ever was before, an otherworldly, overwhelming type of beauty. she anguishes over this. asks for explanations. she wanted to be terrible, scary and full of rage and anger. to this, the devil responds: "who says that anger and rage cannot be beautiful?"

in berserk, this could be a parallel with the godhand offering griffith his option to sacrifice at his lowest point, and griffith's transformation into a devil -femto- and later into an otherworldly beauty - neo-griffith. there is nothing lovely or lovable left in him anymore, but he is the most lovely and beloved character by everyone in the show after his neo-griffith transformation. his power knows no equal and he strikes fear into the hearts of all who dare cross him. nothing will ever touch him again and nothing will ever be taken from him again, unless he wills it.

so she lives in exile, her otherworldly powers making her a diety of sorts, one people love and worship. one day, her husband, mad at himself and sick with love for her, goes to her to ask for her forgiveness. he couldn't save her when she needed him, and he couldn't protect her when she was taken from him, so all he does is ask for forgiveness. and amid her power-hungry, hatered spinning days of rage, she blooms with love for him, everything else thrown aside or forgotten. he was all she had ever wanted once after all. they fall into each other, one last time before tragedy strikes.

the aristocrat, terrified of her, her power, the support people gave her, orders for her to be burned at the stake. as the flames overwhelm her and she cries out one last time, the people witnessing the scene, cry out in uproar. they kill the king, avenge her and become a lingering flame in the calamitous fire of the french revolution. even though she is no longer there, she achieves exactly what she wanted- vengence against those who wronged her, and world domination, as the uproar from her tragedy, is what kickstarts the world to change.

now the whole parallels with griffith i made clear in italics, but there i dont think that thet is where the parallels with berserk end. there is another character, whose case could be argued, might have been inspired by this movie: casca. the unfortunate fate of the woman, the defilement and heartbreak she experiences because of conditions she cannot control, her story is drowning in them. i believe, if Miura was indeed inspired by this movie, that casca's story takes root in this unfortunate fate this character suffers through, but the only element present in casca's story is the heartbreak and pain, the rage and vengeance part is yet to be seen.

this movie seems to overlap both of these characters journeys, emotions and characterisations. if i have made a post about their alikeness before, this movie would be the main thesis for it. they switch roles and imagery within this "belladonna" character to the point where you cant make a case for one without mentioning the other. he becomes a demon, she becomes a witch. he falls in desperation, she falls into her lover's arms. he takes over the world, she gets burned at the stake. he gets the purpose, she gets the tragedy.

overall, berserk or not, belladonna of sadness is a beautiful story and 100% worth the watch. it contains some of my favourite lines of dialogue and scenes ive ever seen in animated media. its experimental and different, but man, isnt it captivating. WATCH IT!!!

[faerishv]

psst..guess who has another req! Hanako, Nene, Kou, Natsuhiko, Sakura, and Tsukasa with a y/n that looks angry/sad as their resting face (also if u want me to limit my reqs, pls lmk i dont wanna overwhelm you <3!!) - 🐝

don't worry , reqs are not a problem , i just have a lot to study so im a bit slow !!

angry / sad resting face

; hanako :

when he met you he always tried to avoid talking to you much because he thought about what reaction you could have towards him ( he was a little scared of just you tbh ) ; tho he has to admit that your face looks fascinating even if you look always angry / sad. When nene asked you gently if you were really angry / sad , hanako butted in the conversation , he wanted to have an answer about you face ; you explained that it was just your resting face , you weren't really angry nor sad. This explanation calmed down the boy , he began to have more conversations with you and actually noticed that your personality was far different from the "emotions " you show on your face.

; yashiro :

she felt intimidated by you but curious too ; even if your face looks angry / sad she still thinks you're really pretty. She tried to talk to you and realized you are actually a nice person. Seeing the people avoided you because of your face she introduced you to aoi , hanako , kou and mitsuba. Her favourite hobby is to squeeze your cheeks so that you look like your smiling ( with your consent ofc ) she loves your resting face but she also loves seeing a smile from time to time.

; kou :

he was kinda scared of you because you kept watching him with your angry / sad look. Little did he know , you thought he was really cool and wanted to be friend with him , you just had a problem on approach him. Instead he thought you had some problems with him or you hated him. He asked some recommendations to teru and he said to try and talk to you , like civil people. He found you on the roof alone ; he felt bad for you , maybe you weren't a bad person like he thought at first. He asked you to explain and you admitted you just wanted to be friends ; he was shocked but accepted right away.

; tsukasa :

he liked your espression and told sakura that he wanted to know you well. he bombarded you with questions of why you looked always angry / sad ; tho he was just curious , he didn't mean any harm ( for now ). You became his second ( third if natsuhiko is an assistant as well ? ). He began to be attached tto you much more than he does with sakura and he wanted to take parts of his evil plans 😦. He does the same thing yashiro does eith your cheeks but he doesn't ask permission.

; sakura :

instead of an angry / sad face she has a tired resting face ( and it's so beautiful on her let's be honest ). She's silent most of the times but she thinks that your face looks pretty too and distinguishes you from all the others. The times you smile , you can be sure that she'll remember it. Overall she treats you like a normal human being unlike others .. ( i don't know what to write for her anymore )

; natsuhiko :

he literally doesn't care about your resting face , he thinks everything about you is beautiful and treats you like a god / dess ( have you seen how he treast sakura ). He will not ask you about your face and try to make you smile by force. He gets all blushy if you look at him with your angry / sad gaze. If you smile at him he will literally faint please help him.

natsuhiko is so underrated ..

[froggibus]

Hi!

I saw where requests were open and you cleared out some.

I was wondering if you’d be okay for me to resubmit my dark/yandere batboys requests.

If you dont feel like doing a request like that it’s perfectly okay, this is your blog and your time so don’t worry and think I won’t be on your blog if you don’t. It’s all up to you, I just don’t want to take up you inbox if so.

Just let me know

Love ya!

- angst lover 🖤

This Unruly Mess I've Made - Dick Grayson

Pairing: Dick Grayson x gn! reader

Genre: angst, hurt/comfort

Word Count: 1.9k

Summary: while Dick Grayson has always been your ball of sunshine, Nightwing hasn't, and on a particularly bad night, you see just how terrifying the vigilante really is

CW: violence, fighting, Dick accidentally hits reader (mistakes them for someone else), yelling, Dick says some pretty mean things, angst, groveling, some hurt/comfort

this is the third time ive had to rewrite Dick's part (also why this took so long!!) i kinda struggle with writing yandere/darker themes but i am trying! im sorry if this isn't quite what you wanted, but i was honestly stumped on how to write this for Dick.

also since these turned out so long i am going to separate them (also im thinking about doing a Tim version + am definitely doing a Bruce version)

Jason Version

————

It’s dark and cold, but that’s typical for a night in Gotham. The rain is coming down hard, dripping down your face and soaking you to the bone. You squint into the darkness, searching desperately for your boyfriend. 

His words echo in your mind. Stay put, I’ll be right back. 

He had clenched your shoulders just a little too hard, his jaw set a little too tight. You understand why—if the roles were reversed, if you had received a call from him in the middle of the night, his voice strained and teary, you would be angry too. If you knew someone was following him, stalking him like some sort of prey, you’d be equally as mad. 

He was at your side within a minute of the call, swooping in to save you. He had gotten you to safety, making sure you were okay, before diving back off into the night. 

That was almost an hour ago, and you couldn’t stand in the rain under the overhang of the convenience store any longer. You had tried to call him, but he wasn’t answering. So, you set out to find him yourself. 

How hard could it be to find a vigilante dressed in all black in the dead of night in Gotham?

Very hard, apparently, because you’ve been stumbling down the wet streets for what seems like hours with no sign of Nightwing. 

Your clothes stick to your skin, every inch of you is wet and cold. You try to make your way back to your apartment, but the streets don’t look familiar to you anymore and you only grow more desperate with each passing moment. 

There’s a bright orange light up ahead, so bright you feel like you’re imagining it. And it’s warm, warm like the sun. For a minute you’re not sure if it’s already day or not, but when you get closer, you see the roaring fire in front of you. 

There’s figures in front of it, casting shadows across the street in a way that can only be described as menacingly. You squint, the light so intense it hurts your eyes. You can just barely make out the figure of your boyfriend up ahead, beating up some goons. 

Someone else is with him, someone big. You can’t tell if it’s Bruce or Jason from this angle, but you don’t care. You’re so overwhelmed from the cold and your misery that you’re running to Dick before you even realize what you’re doing. 

Dick’s just knocked out the last goon on him before he sees another, smaller one emerging from the darkness. Running straight towards him. The adrenaline has his heart beating so fast that it’s painful, his vision tunnelling, his instincts kicking in. 

Just as you get to his sides, Dick reacts. His arm flies out, hitting you in the chest and knocking you flat on your ass. The wind is knocked out of you from the hit, shockwaves being sent up your tailbone from the impact. 

You look up at him with teary, confused eyes. Dick stares back, equally confused, pupils blown. No, not Dick. Nightwing. 

You expect him to react, to help you up, to apologize. 

“What are you doing here?”

There’s not enough breath left in your body to speak, but he takes that as a sign to keep talking. 

“I told you to stay put! Do you even know how much danger you’re putting yourself in, here? Putting me in?” His voice is gravelly and angry, a tone that you’ve never heard before. “You could have ruined everything!”

“I-I’m sorry,” you wheeze, tears rolling down your cheeks. 

Jason’s ears perk up at the yelling, and you see him start to approach from over Dick’s shoulder. You don’t want him to see you guys argue, but that went out the window when Dick started yelling at you in public. 

“Sorry doesn’t mean anything! Why can’t you just listen to basic instructions, y/n? Why do you have to make every single thing so fucking difficult on me?”

You flinch from his words. Actually flinch. He’s never spoken to you like this before. He’s never been this angry before. His chest rises and falls quickly, the adrenaline taking over completely. He takes a step towards you but you scramble back, your hands scraping on the pavement. 

He tries to step forwards again but a hand catches his collar. He spins around, facing his younger brother. “What the hell are you doing?”

Jason shoves his chest hard. “No, what the hell are you doing? Can’t you see how fucking terrifying you’re being right now? Look at y/n,” he gestures to you, and when the older boy refuses to look, he shoves him again. “Look!”

“Stay out of this, Hood,” he shoves him back. “It’s none of your damn business.”

They keep arguing, voices rising with their adrenaline. Neither one of them are paying any mind to you, too busy shoving each other and getting in each other’s faces to look at you. 

You take this opportunity to scramble to your feet, forcing yourself to take slow and silent steps until you’re far enough away to start running. You don’t look back, feet pounding the pavement. 

Dick knows he’s out of line, he knows the adrenaline and the aggression are consuming him the way they’ve always consumed Batman. But he can’t stop it. Not tonight, not when you were in danger not once, but twice. He knows he’s spiralling, losing the control he’s held onto so tightly, but he can’t stop it now. 

And Jason. Jason stepping in the way and shoving him? He can’t let that stand. And even if he knows he’s wrong, he’s not going to admit it and give the younger boy the satisfaction. 

Their fight only gets worse, spiralling out of control. Dick giving into the adrenaline, Jason giving into his urges. It gets so bad that even Tim and Damian are scared. It gets so bad that all of a sudden there’s a familiar thud behind them and they both freeze in their tracks. 

Dick knows even before he turns around that he’ll be face to face with Batman. Still, he does it, and the disappointed look his father is shooting him is enough to drain the fight from his body. Waves of clarity wash over him, and the events from the night start to register. 

Bruce says nothing, his look is enough. The anger in his eyes says it all. Cave. Now. 

The boys trudge after him, finding their own respective ways back to Wayne manor. Dick can’t help but tug on his hair and groan. What is this unruly mess I’ve made?

————

There’s bruises on your ass and chest. A large, long one across your chest in the exact shape of Dick’s forearm, and a big round one on your ass from where you hit the ground. 

You can’t help but stare at them in the mirror, the ugly purple colour only making you more emotional. You want to scream, you want to cry, you want to hit him. 

But you don’t do any of that. Instead, you step into the shower and stand under the hot water and close your eyes. All you want is to forget, for last night to have not happened. But it did. And nothing you can do will change that. 

Dick feels horrible. How could he have said any of that to you? He didn’t even help you up after he hit you, accident or not. The thought of his own actions make him sick. 

Bruce spent the better part of the night lecturing both him and Jason, and even after Jason left, he kept yelling at Dick. He couldn’t bring himself to argue or defend himself. How could he? He hurt you. He continued to hurt you. If Jason wasn’t there…he hates to think what might have happened. 

He slams his phone down. This is the 37th time he’s called this morning, and still no answer. After the fifth call, they just started going straight to voicemail. Even his texts say they’re not being delivered. 

He sighs, knowing he has no choice other than to head to your apartment. 

—

You know before you even open the door that Dick is the one knocking. He keeps his touch on the wood soft, as if he’s scared to startle you. Which he is. 

You don’t open the door. You look at him through the peephole, and he looks almost as rough as you feel. You sigh. 

“Y/n,” his voice is soft, raspy. “I know you’re there. I-I can hear you breathing.” 

You slide down the other side of the door, leaning your head against the hardwood. 

“You don’t have to talk, and I know you owe me nothing but please—just, listen.”

Your heart aches and you’re not sure what to do. You want to listen to him and you want him to make everything okay again, but you don’t know if it ever can after last night. 

“I fucked up. God, y/n, I fucked up real bad. I-I don’t know what was going through my head. I was being so stupid and I was on edge and the adrenaline—I was so worried about you.”

A few tears fall down your face at his words. 

“I didn’t mean to hit you, and I think you know that. I would never hit you. I would never lay a damn finger on you like that.”

You wipe the tears on your forearm, your nose stuffy from crying. 

“I know that I can’t take back what I said. I know that you’ll never forget that—fuck, I’ll never forget that. But I just need you to know that I didn’t mean it. I never meant any of that.”

Your breath is shaky and it takes everything you have to not start sobbing loudly. You clench your knees together, shoving your head between them. You know that he’s being sincere, and you know that he didn’t mean what he said. 

“Y/n, you are the love of my life. I mean it—you are it for me. There’s never going to be someone else. And I need you to know that this will never happen again. I will never let this happen again.”

His voice cracks with every word, he’s so close to tearing up, but he won’t let himself. This isn’t his moment to break down. This is yours. 

He doesn’t know what else to say, he doesn’t know what he could possibly add to make this better. Just as he goes to speak again, the door swings open and you’re face to chest with him. 

“Y/n…”

“I-I don’t really know what to feel right now,” you admit. “A part of me is really scared of you, but I love you so damn much and—and I think as long as Nightwing stays away from me, we can make this work.”

He nods. “Whatever you want, baby. You name it and it’s yours.” 

“Thank you.”

“Are you okay if I hug you?” His blue eyes meet yours, “we don’t have to if you’re not up for it. I understand that you don’t really trust me right now and—”

You practically jump on him, wrapping your arms around him. Dick accepts you with open arms, squeezing you so hard he lifts you off of your feet. You wrap your legs around his waist, nuzzling your face into his shoulder. 

He holds you, gently bouncing you up and down in a motion that’s so soothing you almost fall asleep on his shoulder. “I love you, y/n. I love you more than anything.” 

[dragon-queen21]

HI ! back again, im sorry for the lack of closure of my last ramble, i was going through it and just couldnt write anymore (im fine now!) i apologize for that and all the typos. i didnt get to re-read it before i submitted it.

-Im actually half hispanic too! twins! but your right, i can definitely see ace being pretty good at spanish, and luffy knowing a selective amount. luffy can hold a conversation but hes not going to start speaking it fluently out of nowhere. all his crew can speak the same language, and robin is always there if someone else doesnt speak what they are, so he definitely wouldnt have as much practice as if he were still living in the goa kingdom.

-kinda odd hc but for some reason i also feel like spanish would be his first language considering his island would be located in brazil and then he was taught english by maybe garp? or makino? (or would it be japanese? sorry i watch in dub) and shanks was the one who taught him more of eng/jp (like slang, nicknames, etc) and ge eventually just picked it up more and like you said his spanish got really rusty

-imagine that when ace luffy and sabo were kids luffy tried to teach them eng/jp. it was actually going pretty good until the 3 of them started spurting out pirate lingo when garp was around.

now fast forward imagine little luffy with ace and luffy starts trying to teach ace eng/jp and ace is pretending to learn it all again to make him happy aweeeee

-Now back on captain smoker, luffy somehow gets smoker to carry him or hold his hand (the fear of being alone is insane) and smoker is PRAYINGG his men dont find him. theyd totally tattle on him

imagine luffy getting upset because they cant find his crew and smoker is trying his boy scouts best to calm him down. smoker is sweating BULLETS on the hunt for these strawhats (all of a sudden when he needs them theyre not causing a rucus) (smoker ends up getting luffy like candy or something to try and chill him out)

smoker gives luffy back to the crew and theyre all debating whether or not to tell smoker that luffys actually a baby right now (they end of giving him their gratitudes and booking it for the time being, knowing luffy, theres gonna be a next time.)

-i also wanna drop what if shanks were with luffy if he were regressed? how would that come about? maybe luffy regresses after not seein shanks for ten years and shanks is just like “this checks out” and treats him how he used to ? him and shanks’ crew all just chill with little luffy, i find that ADORABLE. (luffy and usopp regress together on the red force and yasopp gets to treat his son, like the child he left banchina with) (sorry im a believer that usopp doesn’t absolutely HATE his dad)

-babyspace luffy being babied by shanks (and the crew) because everyone in the one piece world just KNOWSSSS dragons a dead beat, and theres no way garp coddled this kid HE WOULDNT BE SEEN DEAD

wow can you believe this and my last submission was supposed to be about sanji? luffy stole the spotlight

okay this is getting way to long i fear, but thank you for continuing to read and answer my rambles, i mean when i say that it means a lot to me. and in your last-last reply to me, im happy that i can make your day. i hope these continue to do so. thank you so much🤍

and i wanna say this, dont ever feel that you need to answer my asks, i understand that i write a lot, i dont ever want to overwhelm you.

📷

Eh first of all,don’t worry about any typeos, have you seen my writing even proof reading I struggle man ;-; I’m just glad you’re feeling better <3

Second; eyyy twins!!! :D

~Mkay but I will raise you one, Luffy ‘teaching’ Ace swear words and then being like “bu’ you can’t say those cause den Sanji and Nami get angry if you says.”

“trying his boy scouts best”

<- XD I love that. Poor guy. The ONE time not a single thing is happening anywhere!

~Smoker offering to buy Luffy cotton candy when he sees a sweets stand, only has the regressor crying more, babbling something about a… Chopper??? And he’s so confused. Kids like candy. What the heck?!

~ I can imagine meeting up with Shanks and a conversation going something like this.

“Uh captain, you aren’t wondering what’s happening to Luffy or if this is like- a devil fruit affect?”

Shanks meanwhile with a toddler regressed Luffy clinging to his side

“Nah, seems normal to me”

~Usopp would definitely be shy around his father. Sticking towards Luffy and following his lead.

~Let Luffy be spoiled! He needs the love and attention that he gives others.

“Luffy stole the spotlight”

<- As he often does. You know I started a fic with Nami and Usopp and it slowly just evolved to just start focusing on Luffy. It just can’t be helped sometimes :3

I love answering these! I literally got home and was like :0 :D new message!! They don’t overwhelm me at all. As long as you’re okay with me taking a couple days to respond :3

<3<3<3

[ravenquingvax]

14 year old me deserved better

we shouldn't have been bullied, our parents shouldn't have emotionally neglected us, we shouldn't have been allowed free reign on the internet

i have irreversible trauma all because my parents didn't understand the difference between giving shelter & food to someone and real parenting

i felt abandoned and unloved and pushed away and hated

i felt utterly worthless to, and unwanted by, the very people who had fought to have me

my parents went through IVF to have me, you know, and yet my whole life I've never really felt loved or wanted by them

i ended up so alone and scared i fell into an older person's trap and was hurt in ways that i didn't understand back then

i felt so broken and discarded, like i truly had nothing left to give to anyone else

it really fucked me up

i understand how this all happened and it sickens me

i hate that some parents hate their children and hurt them internationally, i hate that some parents don't know love and therefore can't give it to their own children in the future

i hate that people refuse to accept that girls can be evil and predatory, i hate that we treat victims as criminals even if they "followed every rule"

its no wonder i gave up on my education in the end

its no wonder i stopped living

im stuck and I feel helpless

i was talking to people, I was getting help, I was making progress (and technically i still am but not in ways that truly help in the long run) but it got too overwhelming and i just fucking shut down again

i feel trapped in a body that doesn't belong to me

it never did and never will

i feel trapped in a cycle of anger and sadness and sickness and exhaustion

5 10 15 20 25 30

i feel so fucking stuck

so fucking done

i woke up at 6am today and i couldn't fall back asleep

i trued writing it off, literally by writing fanfiction, and I've refreshed tumblr and twitter so many times since I woke up that in kind of sick of them

its now 8am and I feel dead

but not energy wise

just emotionally unwound

I'll probably feel better after i have some water and talk to my boyfriend, knowing me

but i wanted to talk about how just fucked everything feels

i feel like a vase someone smashed into smithereens and that was put back together with paper mache and string

her name kills me almost every time I see or hear it now

i think i might hate myself less than her these days, honestly

she stole my innocence and my trust and my childish love

she robbed me of a colour, of a book series, of a movie, of a flower and of so much more

she probably doesn't even remember me anymore, if she's still alive after everything

i don't know what I'd prefer

5 10 15 20 25 30

would i rather she got help and found love and happiness?

would i rather the opposite?

i feel too tired to care

she's not the last, nor am i certain she was truly the first

but she ruined me in ways nobody else could dream to

she left a sickness in my veins that i cant get rid of

its almost become lovely

i would miss it if it were gone

the hate is ugly and hisses, but i take comfort in its heat

maybe i am broken, maybe she broke me, maybe

i woke up today with terrible thoughts of things i dont want to do to myself or to others

thats fucked up

i can't remember if i was always like this or if she did this

maybe its both

5 10 15 20 25 30

all i know is that im tired

i want to stop hurting

i want to stop being scared

i want to stop being angry

i want to stop being sad

i want to stop being so tired

i just want to live and love

i love people, i do

i hate feeling such strong hatred that im not so sure is even really my own

i just want to be happy

i feel sick

[bigfeelingslittleunderstanding]

Here I will post my feelings. My seemingly large - very overstated feelings. Because I feel like I need to vent to something. And Im not exactly very talented when it comes to writing. I feel like my thoughts get jumbled and I lose track. I don't follow any actual structure and I tend to ramble on a lot. But who knows? Maybe this will help me improve in those skills. Maybe this will make me feel better.

Let's get started:

I dont like where I am right now. Not physically (Im actually somewhere really beautiful) - but moreso my status in life.

And dont get started about the importance of status

Who am I even talking to?

Why am I using bullets?

I like to thinks its a way for me to organize my thoughts. As if this corporate-manner of creating a linear visualization of my thoughts will somehow also organize my life.

Let's see:

I just moved into a new house. It doesnt feel like home. I feel overwhelmed by all that I have to do. Nothing feels good. Everything feels like a chore. Its so cold here. Everyone wants to escape. I can sense it.

Its been 2 fucking years and I still cant get a promotion. Im getting blue-balled by my manager. I want to change my job but then I have to upskill. But then that mens I have to devote my time to upskill. But then that means I cant clean and organize my environment. And that means I cant MAKE this feel like a home.

But maybe its not my environment? Maybe its my boyfriend not hearing what I say.

Maybe its that every time I feel something, I want to say it immediately

And he says the way I communicate my feelings is too .... harsh? Angry? As if I am immediately blaming him?

But Im not blaming him - Im calling for help. So desperately.

Does he see me crying?

Does he know im tired?

Does he notice that I cant seem to get organized?

Does he care?

No, really. Does he care?

Or does he THINK he cares?

What happens if all we do is talk and try to communicate but we cant hear each other even though we really try to? Its no ones fault.

But how can I expect him to understand how I feel? How do I tell him that sometimes, it feels good to yell. It feels good to slam things. Actually, it doesnt feel good. Its followed by the feeling of guilt.

It feels BETTER. Better than talking and better than smoking. It feels like its the only things I can do. But I dont want to do it anymore. I dont want to yell or slam things. I feel like my father when I do it.

[jamesbuchananxsteviegrant]

I Pick the TV Show, Rogers Shuts His Cake-Hole | Bucky x Steve x Reader (Angst, Fluff)

Category: Angst, Fluff (Suggested) Age: 14+ Trigger Warnings: none, other than the standard explicit language Ship: Bucky x Steve x Reader Summary: Steve Snaps At Reader When He’s Stressed, Resulting In Her Being Very Upset Request: "can u write where steve/bucky is overwhelmed with something and when reader asks to help or is telling them to relax they snap at reader and reader is hurt which makes them feel really bad afterwards. thank you sm. i love ur writings. and this is anon right? is it alright if u dont post my response if its not anon? im sorry. thank you so much. ur blog always pictures great stucky imagines. 💗💗💗" Contains Spoilers for: N/A Word Count: 2,488

---

A given, the super-soldier had been on nonstop missions for the last month or so, but she thought she was helping him feel better, not making him feel worse.

“Would you like anything to eat, Stevie? You’ve barely moved all day.” (Y/N)’s voice is small. Quiet.

She’s leaning through the door of his study where he’s sat putting together his mission reports from the last three or four missions he’s been out on.

He shakes his head but doesn’t even turn to look at her.

Sighing, the woman walks further into the room where her boyfriend is slouched over the desk.

“You gotta take a break, Stevie.” She whispers, resting her hands on his shoulders.

She notices the way they tense up, but he still remains silent.

His fingers continue to write up his report on the laptop.

“I’m worried about you, Stevie; talk to me.”

“I’m busy, (Y/N).”

“I know you are, baby, but you’ve gotta look after yourself too.” She attempts, leaning down to press a kiss to his cheek. He pulls away.

The woman furrows her brows.

“Steve, please, you’ve got to-”

“(Y/N), just stop!”

The shout is sudden and it makes her flinch back away from the man as he turns to face her.

“I’m fine, alright?! I don’t need you babying me all the time!”

She doesn’t respond for a second, surprised at her lover’s outburst.

He says nothing more, simply turns back to the laptop and continues typing away.

“Steve, look how stressed you are. Can you please just-”

“STOP! Okay?! Just stop! Leave me the fuck alone while I finish these neverending mission reports. For once in your life can you just understand that not everything is about you?!”

(Y/N) swears that being shot in the heart wouldn’t hurt half as much as the words that just came out of the man’s mouth.

Her mouth opens and closes as if searching for the right words to say, but that hurt.

Is she really that bad? Is that the truth behind all of this? That she’s clingy? Thinks everything is about her? That was never her intention. (Y/N) is well aware of how important being an Avenger is. Hell, she is an Avenger, for Christ’s sakes.

She says nothing more and leaves the room.

She can’t even decide if she feels sad. No. She’s not sad, she’s not angry, she’s not… anything.

Numb.

Naturally, her feet lead her to their room. Steve’s room. They all basically share the super soldier’s abode since they all got together, but right now she doesn’t dare open the door.

Doing a full one-eighty spin, (Y/N) takes herself back to a place she barely touches anymore. Her room.

It’s pretty empty. Most of her clothes are in Steve’s room, in her own walk-in wardrobe. Her bed is perfectly made from the last time she slept in here - maybe a year ago?

The woman walks around her bed and straight onto her bedroom balcony, overlooking the lake at the back of the compound, and stays there. For three-hours. Until Bucky comes looking for her.

He came home from his mission about thirty-minutes ago only to find their shared room of Steve’s empty. He searched just about everywhere, completely clueless.

“FRIDAY, where’s (Y/N) and Steve?” He finally gives in.

“Captain Rogers is in study five, and Agent (L/N) is in her private quarters.”

Now that makes the brunet furrow his brows.

Why would (Y/N) be in her room and not his or Steve’s?

He prioritises finding (Y/N) first, knowing Steve will be writing up mission reports, no doubt.

Despite them being together for over six-years now, he hesitates when reaching for the handle of her bedroom door. Instead, the man opts to knock.

No answer.

“(Y/N)?” Nothing. “Doll, it’s me; can I come in?” Nothing.

Bucky tries the door handle and finds it unlocked, yet still hesitates.

“Baby?” He calls out. Again, nothing.

He’s cautious now. Scared.

Her room looks as untouched as the last time he saw it, which was a few months back when she was after one of her plushies.

“(Y/N)?”

It’s when he feels the chill of the midnight winds ruffle his hair that he realises her balcony doors aren’t fully closed.

Striding straight over, his eyes widen at the sight of his girlfriend curled up in the corner of the outdoor area, crying.

“(Y/N), baby, hey, what’s wrong?!”

Bucky immediately drops to his knees in front of the woman, reaching for her hands and gently tugging them away from her tear-stained face.

“(Y/N), doll, look at me.” His voice is gentle. Soothing.

She does almost instantly but her sadness stays.

“What happened, baby? Are you hurt?”

The fear and sincerity in his voice is enough to prompt the woman to shake her head. Yes, she’s hurting emotionally, but he needs confirmation that she’s not dying.

The woman immediately sees the relief take over his features, but he’s still concerned.

“What’s wrong, doll?”

Her eyes stray away from his, not wanting to tell him what’s got her so upset.

“Hey, no, look at me, baby,” He whispers, hand lightly grasping at her chin to raise her face back up to his. “What’s got you so worked up, (Y/N)?”

Another shake of her head as she tries to escape her lover’s hold.

“Baby, please, you’re scaring me.”

Her face contorts into something close to heartbreak as she wants nothing more than to reassure the man in front of her.

“It’s okay, Buck.”

“It’s not okay! Doll, I haven’t seen you cry since Stevie nearly died on that mission in Ohio like two-years-ago! Talk to me.”

She takes a deep breath and wipes her face of the shedding tears.

“Do you want me to get Stevie?”

The question is innocent and makes sense, but her eyes widen and she shakes her head desperately.

“No! No, please, no.”

That truly makes the super soldier concerned.

“Doll, please can you tell me what’s happened?”

Never in the last eight-years that Bucky and (Y/N) have known each other has she been so reluctant to see Steve.

Another sob escapes her and it’s breaking his heart.

“Baby, please.”

“Steve got mad at me, alright?!” She manages an attempted shout. “I just wanted him to look after himself.”

“What happened? What did Steve do?”

He’s concerned. Massively.

“I was trying to get him to eat; he hasn’t eaten properly in so long. He’s so overworked and he’s hung up on all these mission reports. He told me that not everything was about me - shouted at me; told me to stop.” She’s whimpering and sniffling again now. “Please get him to eat something, James.”

That last sentence is the one that crushes him. She’s upset, yeah, but above all that, she’s still worried about the blond super soldier.

“Come on, baby, let’s go to our room and get into bed, yeah? I’ll go and speak to Stevie.”

Her eyes meet his and she looks scared, but the ocean blue gaze that he returns makes her bound to his every command.

The woman nods.

“Okay.”

“That’s my girl.”

With the help of the Winter Soldier, (Y/N) manages to stand up, letting him lead her out of her private room and into their shared one of Steve’s.

“Here, let’s get you into your PJs, yeah?”

He doesn’t leave room for negotiation as he helps his girlfriend strip out of her casual dress and into one of his oversized t-shirts.

“You get snuggled up in bed, doll. I’m going to go and get Stevie, okay?”

He hates how she looks nervous at the mention of their other lover’s name.

“He loves you more than words can describe, baby girl, I promise you. He shouldn’t have lashed out at you, I’m gonna talk to him, okay?”

A hesitant nod and forced smile is enough for now.

“I’ll be back shortly, I promise.” He leans over and gives the woman a kiss on the lips, leaving her with one of her favourite shows playing on the TV.

“Bucky,” Her choked up voice calls out just before he leaves.

The man turns from his place in the doorway.

“I love you.”

The smile that takes over his expression is contagious.

“I love you too, baby girl. More than anything.”

Despite his reassurance to the woman, he’s pretty damn pissed for a number of reasons about Steve losing his cool with their girl. Reason number one being, how dare he? Reason number two being, he knows better than to overwork, yet here we are.

Bucky doesn’t even knock once he approaches the glass doors of the study where Steve is sat typing away on the laptop.

The blond doesn’t even glance up to see who entered. He barely heard the door open which enrages Bucky further.

The brunet slams the lid of the laptop shut without saying a word, prompting Steve’s head to shoot up, glaring daggers at whoever has interrupted him.

“What the fuck, James?!”

That makes Bucky really get annoyed.

“Are you serious right now, Rogers?”

“I’m in the middle of about seven different mission reports, Buck, I’ve gotta finish them.” The man sighs, going to open the lid of the PC once more, only for Bucky to hold it down. “James, seriously,”

“No. What you need to do is explain to me why our girlfriend has been crying for the last God-knows how many hours?”

That makes Steve snap back to reality.

“What? (Y/N) has been crying? Is she okay?”

Bucky literally rolls his eyes at that.

“Are you fucking serious, Steve?” He repeats, Steve looking confused, expression contorting as he realises that his boyfriend is seriously angry at him.

“Bucky, what’s wrong? What’s happened?”

The Winter Soldier’s head lolls back as he groans in frustration.

“You seriously have no idea?” He asks, rhetorically, watching Steve look almost scared. “Do you often shout at your girlfriend and forget it happened?”

Cap’s eyes widen at that, and he visibly gulps.

“What?”

“She came in here to make sure you were looking after yourself, which you weren’t, by the way, and you tell her that not everything is about her?! Are you fucking stupid, Steve?!”

He remembers it all too well in that moment, turning his head down to avoid the frustrated glare of his male lover.

“No. No, you don’t get to look away from me. Look at me.” Bucky demands, watching the blond super soldier reluctantly do so. “I come home from my own exhausting mission, search for (Y/N) for thirty-minutes, and find her crying her God-damn heart out on the balcony of HER room; not our room, Steve, no. Her room.”

Steve’s heart shatters and his eyes widen once more.

(Y/N) hates staying in her room. She’d always be in his or Bucky’s without a doubt.

“I- Buck-”

Bucky shakes his head and stands back upright as Steve is lost for words.

“I’m not mad at you, Steve. I get it, you know? You’ve been overworking for the last month, I know you’re stressed, but fuck, baby, you can’t hurt her like that. Do you know how much my heart fucking shattered when I saw her curled up in the corner of her own God-damn balcony?! It tore me apart. She hasn’t cried since you nearly fuckin-” Bucky chokes on his own word as he walks away from his lover.

“I’m sorry! Buck, I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have let Fury send me on that many missions, I- I should’ve said no. I’m sorry.” Steve attempts, standing up and following the brunet, turning him around to face him once more.

“It’s not me you need to be apologising to, Stevie.”

Captain America nods and leans up to press a kiss to the man’s lips.

“I’m sorry, James.”

Bucky takes a deep breath and forces a smile.

“I forgive you. Of course I forgive you, I know you didn’t mean it, but I swear to God, if you hurt her again…”

Steve is already shaking his head.

“I wouldn’t dream of either of you getting hurt. Where is she?”

“Our room.”

He nods and begins heading toward the woman to which he owes more than he can give.

The door is half ajar when Steve gets there, he slowly opens it to reveal his girlfriend in all her glory, curled up under their Captain America themed duvet - which Sam bought the trio as a joke last Christmas. Her face is clear-as-day red from her earlier upset, and it breaks his heart.

The man knocks gently on the day as if not to startle the poor girl.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He offers a solemn smile when she turns to see who’s there.

He hates the way he can see her hesitation to speak to him as opposed to her usual squeal of his name, arms opening wide to welcome him into her cuddle-fest.

“Hi.” She manages, forcing her own smile.

There’s silence floating between them, the only sound being Jensen Ackles, in his role of Dean Winchester, talking a load of nonsense about pie on the TV that’s streaming Supernatural.

“Baby, I’m so sorry.” Steve manages, taking a step toward the bed. “Nothing can excuse the way I yelled at you, and I’m so sorry for that, but, sweetheart, trust me when I say I didn’t mean it. I was so stupidly stressed, and I should never have let it get to that point.”

She nods, truly believing his words, but it still hurt.

The blond sits down on the edge of the bed, not daring to cuddle his girlfriend until she’s comfortable.

“I love you so much, (Y/N) (L/N).”

A bigger smile taints her lips at that.

“I love you too, Steven.” Her voice is barely a whisper but he hears it clear as day.

“Can I hold you?”

(Y/N) smiles and shakes her head as if he was being silly.

“You never need to ask permission for that, Stevie. No matter what.”

With another sad smile, he pulls the woman into his arms and holds her tighter than ever before.

“I’m so sorry, my love.”

“I forgive you, but no more missions for a while.” She whispers.

“Yes, boss.”

Bucky’s leaning against the doorframe, watching the interaction. He took a detour to Tony’s office and made sure to give the billionaire a piece of his mind about making sure Fury didn’t have Steve on any missions for a long time.

“Is this the last episode?” The brunet speaks up, stripping himself of his clothes as he enters their room properly.

“Yeah.” (Y/N) nods.

“I still think we should watch Vampire Diaries instead.” Steve chuckles, mirroring Bucky’s actions.

“I pick the TV show, Rogers shuts his cake-hole.” (Y/N) teases, mocking a line from Supernatural and snuggling herself in the middle of the bed, sandwiched between the two super soldiers - where she belongs. “I love you both.”

“Love you too, sweetheart.”

“Love you always, doll.”

TAGS

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Stucky x Reader Only Tag List: polarbearnamedpanda | @marvelous-glims

SFW Only Tag List: @piper-koko-barnes-rogers

[brelione]

Protect You (JJ Maybank X Reader)

Warnings:Domestic Violence,blood

Request:Hi! can you write a jj maybank fic with prompt #10, y/n is friends with the pogues and just recently broke up with her kook boyfriend. She starts getting closer with Jj and then her ex wants to get back together, she doesn’t so he chokes her and punches her. She tries to hide it from the pogues but jj thinks the bruises on her neck are hickies and gets defensive. Y/n continues to lie but then JJ makes her cry and she tells the truth ?? (Love ur blog v much❤️💕💖)

So this isnt exactly what you wanted but I tried so I hope you still like it <3

Loose long sleeve shirts,baggy sweatpants and high top sneaks.You were limping ever so slightly,thinking that none of them had noticed.You had been alarmingly quiet and smoking weed pretty much every 20 minutes.Nobody asked you why you were acting this way.Kie had just thought you were on your period,sharing the information with the boys,You had been staying at John.B’s and refusing to go back to your house in case he showed up there.

It was somewhere around 7 in the morning when JJ woke up,going to the porch to smoke.You were already there.Your hood was up,hair in a messy know on top of your head.You had a few dark bruises on your neck,the fake metal chain you owned dangling off your neck.You were leaning on the railing,blunt between your lips and your eyes closed as you tried to calm your thoughts with the drug.The small scar on your cheekbone had become irritated as it always did when you had cried.Being in this state meant that you hadnt noticed JJ’s tall figure yet.You let out a sigh,a small cloud of white smoke leaving your mouth.JJ came up behind you quite. 

“Morning.”His voice whispered groggily.You pulled up your hood so the fabric covered your neck,the material stopping behind your bun. “Morning.”You answered quietly,wincing as his arms wrapped around your waist and his chin rested on your shoulder. “Are you okay,sunshine?”She asked.You took the blunt back between your lips,nodding slowly. “You’ve been smoking a lot lately.”He observed,sliding his hands under your hoodie and onto your hips.You grabbed his wrists tightly,pulling them off your body.He frowned.

 “What’s wrong?”He repeated his previous question,sounding more serious this time. “I dont like when people touch me.”You answered as smore crawled out of your mouth and into the air.He slid between you and the railing. “You love hugs and cuddles.You always have.Im gonna ask one more time.What’s wrong?”He asked again.Worry and anger course through his veins.He hadnt really seen sunshine in three days.He had seen (Y/N) but not his sunshine that he had known and loved since seventh grade.

You sighed,avoiding his eyes as you exhaled smoke,the cloud hitting his clothed chest.You went to take another hit but he took it from your hand,making your eyes widen. “What the hell,JJ?”You asked,tears beginning to form in your bloodshot eyes.He sighed,looking down at you.You were silent as you thought about what you could possibly say,what excuse you could make.You held the bottom of your hoodie,thinking about what you were about to do. “Don't tell anyone.If you tell anyone ill kill you.”You told him.He nodded nervously. “Im serious,not even John.B”You spoke softly,worried that someone would hear you even though you were ten feet away from the house.He nodded again.

You hesitated,pulling off the hoodie with a small hiss.His heart dropped,feeling sick.Yellow and black bruises cover your torso,scratches and scabs and cuts all over your ribs and stomach.You pulled at the drawstrings of your pants,letting them fall into the grass.Your knee cap looked out of place,a large cut across your thigh.He couldn't say anything,tears coming from his eyes as his jaw fell. “Dont cry,im fine.”You forced a grin on your face.His fists clecnched. “Who the fuck did this?”He demanded,hand going to the gun in the waistband of his jeans.You sighed,shaking your head. 

“This is why I didn't want to tell you.”You mumbled. “Dammit!What the fuck does that mean?You cant just let me fucking protect you!Ill go to fucking prison!Doesn't matter if you tell me or not ill blow that son of a bitches brain out!”He shouted as you took steps backwards.Tears were going down his face.Someone had hurt his sunshine,ruined you.No one could make bruises like that with just their fists which meant whoever done this had a weapon.

 “JJ,just listen to me.Im fine.I had an accident and it was my fault.I feel fine.Everything is fine.”You spoke softly,trying to calm him. “Bullshit!”He shouted.Pope and Kiara came down the back steps quietly,trying to figure out what was going on.Kiara screamed when she saw you,causing you to turn around and see what she was screaming for.Now JJ could see the long cut across your back,the moon shaped cuts on your neck and the little bruises all over your shoulders. 

“Kie-im fine.Im fine-just go back inside.”You squeaked out,becoming overwhelmed with everything going on.JJ held his gun tighter. “JJ look at me.Im breathing and standing.Im fine.”You spoke,voice becoming shaky as you spoke to the blonde. “Shit,(Y/N).I think you need stitches for that.”Pope stared at the deep cut.You quickly shook your head,trying to gain control over the situation again. “No-no,Pope thats stupid!Im fine.Go back inside.”You spoke desperately,tears rolling down your face and neck.

JJ looked at the bruises one more time before slamming his hand against the railing.You sand to the ground,head in your hands as John B started shouting for all of you to go to the hospital.You hadnt even noticed him come outside.Kiara was crying,Pope was about to vomit,John.B was panicking and JJ had kneeled down in front of you,trying to talk.You couldn't hear anything he was saying,any sounds except for your heart beating and your sobs.He needed you to go to the hospital,desperately trying to get through to you.He gently lifted your chin up so you’d look at him properly. “Sunshine,you need to get in the van so we can take you to the hospital.”He spoke gently,his fingers tracing lines along your temple and jawline gently. 

“Im fine.”You insisted,trying not to cough. “You’re not fine-your knee is fucking twisted,your back is slashed and youre covered in bruises!You’re not fine!”John B shouted,completely losing his cool.You huffed at the commotion,ignoring the hot tears and the pounding in your head. “You’re so fucking dramatic.”You tried pulled the hoodie from under JJ’s knee. “You cant just put your hoodie back on and pretend everything is fine.”He refused to move.You looked up at him,offering a small smile. “Everything is fine.”You repeated again.His jaw clenched.

 “What the actual fuck?Come on,you know you're not fine!You know you’re not!Just let someone help you for once in your damn life-its either you get in the van and you let us take you to the hospital or I will hunt down whoever did this and shoot them in the fucking face.What’s it gonna be?”He asked.You just shook your head,more tears coming from your eyes.Someone else always got gurt,why>Kiara slowly came up to you,kneeling down and letting you cry into her shirt.You just kept apologizing,crying.POpe ran inside,coming out with a first aid kit and a rag,yelling for John.B to get rubbing alcohol and ice. “Hey,hey you gotta let us help you.”The dark skinned boy spoke quietly,sitting by you.

You let out a loud sob,JJ bit down hard on his lip and tried not to cry too.Everything was a blur as a rag got put in your mouth while Kiara held you tight.Pope was trying to clean the slash on your back with rubbing alcohol,your screams and sobs muffled by the rag. “Guys!Give her a minute!”JJ shouted.Pope took the blood stained,alcohol drenched towel and tossed it onto the porch.Kiara slowly let go of you,allowing you to lean forward.It was unspoken as JJ opened his arms and you wrapped your arms around him as you cried until you couldn't anymore,your eyes puffy.He didn't touch you at all,not wanting to hurt you and remembering you saying that you didn't want to be touched. “Was it...was it Lucas?”He asked.You gave him a weak nod,breaths still shallow from crying so hard.His hands became fists but he tried not to get angry again for your sake.

He made quick eye contact with John.B.They would go to his house and beat the devil out of him later.He rested his head against your shoulder,kissing your collarbone lightly. “Did he hit your head?”He asked.You just held onto him tighter.What a fucking mess this was.You sighed,moving away from him. “How long has this been going on?”John.B asked,sitting down. “A couple months.”You answered,finally coming clean. “Jesus,sunny,why didn't you tell any of us?”He asked.You shrugged,wincing at the pain.

 “Thought you guys would be mad at me.”You mumbled,causing the group to go silent. “You should come inside and shower.”Kiara suggested.She held her hand out to you,you got up with a low groan as your knee made a cracking sound.You pulled your clothes out from underneath JJ,limping back inside with Kie.She turned on the shower for you while you stared at your body in the mirror. “It doesn't hurt...he didn't hit me that hard.”You ran your fingers along the bruises. “He could've killed you.”Kie reminded you. “Its fine,Kie.I bruise easy anyways.You should see Lucas,I kneed him right in the dick.”You gave her a small smile before hesitantly stepping under the hot,flowing water.

You let out a sharp squeak as the blood hit the water,coloring the floor a faded murky red. “Im going to grab you some clothes.Will you let me bandage you up later?”Kie asked.You nodded,watching the blood go down the drain and try not to get your ahir wet.You heard the door open around two minutes later,too tired to open your eyes.Everything just felt heavy. “Why didn't you tell us?”A masculine voice asked.You could identify the voice as JJ’s.You opened your eyes partly,looking over to see him leaning against the sink with clothes under one arm and a towel under the other.

 “You never asked.”Was all you could think of,hand shaking as you turned off the water.You held onto the wall for support,shocked at how weak you were.You felt JJ wrap the towel around your shoulders,holding his arm out for support.You held on tight to his for arm as his other hand went to your waist,ready to catch you if you fell.You were trembling slightly,gripping his arm so hard that it was beginning to lose color. “I've got you baby girl.Take your time.”He spoke softly.You nearly fell as you stepped onto the small rag on the tile floor.The towel still hung on your shoulders,covering your breasts.

He slowly dragged the towel down your body,careful as the material grazed your injured thigh,dragging it back up to pat your neck dry.He kissed your forehead lightly,letting your naked body lean against him.In any other situation it would be all of his dreams and fantasies come true but he couldn't think about anything sexual in this moment.He was helping you,comforting you. “Baby.”He mumbled quietly.Neither of you really knew why he called you that,it just came more naturally than your name.He called you by Baby,Babygirl,Sunshine.Pretty much anything but your name.You could realate.You had nicknames for the others,words you would use instead of their names.

Pumpkin,Sweetheart,Darling,Love.But only JJ got to be called Love.It was something special for only him.You hummed quietly,listening to him. “I’ll hurt him,if you want.”He offered,waiting for your answer.You shook your head,moving his chin so he was forced to look at you. “Don't be so angry,Love.Karma will get him eventually.”You answered softly,pulling him down so you could kiss his nose. “I just wish I could protect you from everything.”He sighed,his bottom lip quivering.You pulled him closer,pressing a gentle kiss on his lips. 

“I know.But you cant and thats okay.”You replied before pulling the clothes from the bathroom counter,trying to figure out how you could slip on the shorts without making your thigh cut bleed again.He noticed your struggle,taking the shorts from you and assisting in pulling them up your legs,helping you with the T Shirt as well. “I love you.”He whispered.You nodded,squeezing his hand. “I love you too.”You answered.

@nas-marie-loves-u @28cnn @sexytholland  @yuxsh06   @ifilwtmfc  @cherryobx @poguestarkey @n1ghtsh4d3-67  @poguestyleskye @judayyyw  @sunwardsss @meaganjm  @outerbongs  @copper-boom  @httpstarkey  @maybebanks​ 

If you’d like to be tagged in all future JJ imagines/headcannons/series comment with a heart,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Pope imagines/headcannons/series comment with a smiling face,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Rafe imagines/headcannons/series comment with a frowning face,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Kiara imagines/headcannons/series comment with a question mark and if you’d like to be tagged in all future Sarah Cameron imagines/headcannons/series comment with a plus sign.If you’d like to be tagged in all Kelce content coment with a “>” and if youd like to be tagged in all Topper content comment with a “%”.Or if thats too complicated you can just comment whose name you’d like to be tagged in.

[snkpolls]

SnK Episode 67 Poll Results (for Manga Readers)

The poll closed with 254 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Manga Readers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll, click here.

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RATE THE EPISODE 246 Responses

The response to this week’s episode remains overwhelmingly positive, with 97.6% of responses giving it a score of 3 or higher. 

This is the first episode where I have absolutely no criticisms, so im quite happy with how it turned out.

Voice acting was top tier

perfect

Emotional 

Great Job! I'm glad my favorite character's death was so emotionally misered.

Forget Attack on Titans, this episode was Attack on my Feelings ! 😭

I want to rate it a 1 because of Sasha but a 5 because of how well it was done... so 1.5

Absolutely loved it

Perfect

ASIDE FROM SASHA’S DEATH, WHICH MOMENT WAS THE MOST EMOTIONAL FOR YOU? 247 Responses

Connie’s heartfelt admission to Jean seems to have stolen the hearts of the plurality of responders (36%). That is followed by a tie of 18.2% responses noting Eren’s breakdown or EMA’S tense reunion as the most emotional moment for them. In third place is Gabi’s tragic declaration about her struggles with 11.3%. Other responses were, in order, Jean lamenting all of the deaths occurring, Gabi and Falco realizing that Zeke betrayed them, Hange scolding Eren for forcing the SC to intervene in Marley and Levi and Eren’s confrontation.

Connie telling Sasha and Jean that they're special to him made my heart hurt knowing what was going to happen mere minutes after. I honestly saw me and my two best friends through them, and it was gut wrenching seeing Connie and Jean's reactions. Even Mikasa's reaction broke me, to be honest. They all lost a huge light in their lives.

WHICH MOMENT SURPRISED YOU THE MOST? 222 Responses

So this question was meant to only go on the anime watchers poll and ended up here somehow. Thanks to the 222 who were good sports and responded anyway! :P The most shocking moments that took place in this chapter/episode was the revelation that Eren went rogue from the Survey Corps, that Zeke was collaborating with the Survey Corps, how the Survey Corps treated Eren, and that some Paradisians seemed to be turning to nationalism, in that order. 

Not sure why we're being asked as manga readers which moment shocked us the most since we already knew everything that was going to happen this week

HOW MUCH DID SASHA’S DEATH HURT YOU? 249 Responses

When it came to Sasha’s death, it would appear that it broke the hearts of the overwhelming majority of responders, with 81.1% giving it a rating of either 4 or 5 on the tragic scale. 

Broke my heart and I'm still crying over it three days later. Honestly though, it was greatly done. 

3 years later it hit me, Sasha is dead ;_;

Cried my whole soul and body. Rip sweet Sasha

I thought Sasha's death would've been more emotional.

WHOSE REACTION TO SASHA’S DEATH AFFECTED YOU THE MOST? 250 Responses

Sasha’s death elicited various reactions from the main cast. Two different responses tied at 36.4% noting Connie and Mikasa’s reactions to Sasha's death as the one affecting them the most. This was followed by Eren’s at 13.2%. The rest were, in order, Armin, Jean, Levi and Hange. 

I don’t cry at fiction much, but Sasha’s death got me more than I thought it would. I feel like seeing Armin and Mikasa’s reactions in particular is what got me.

The way they animated Armin and Mikasa bawling over Sasha's body and the inclusion of Call Your Name made it all the more emotional. I think by "Assassin's Bullet" they also meant a bullet through my heart because man did that hurt to watch. 😭🤧

WOULD YOU PISS YOUR PANTS IF LEVI WAS GLARING AT YOU WITH MURDEROUS INTENT? 248 Responses

A bit of a joke question, but we wanted to know if Levi appeared as threatening as he seemed. 80.2% seems to think so, admitting their incentive to piss their pants. In contrast, 19.8% don’t think the Captain’s such a scary guy!

THE FULL VERSION OF “ASHES ON THE FIRE” BY KOHTA YAMAMOTO (THE PREVIEW SONG) IS NOW OUT. IF YOU’VE LISTENED TO IT, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 236 Responses

“Ashes on the Fire” has been released to rave reviews, with 88.1% of responses giving it a 4 or a 5. Nobody gave it a 1, either. Yamamoto-san, thank you!

OVERALL, HOW WELL DO YOU THINK MAPPA ADAPTED THE MARLEY ARC? 251 Responses

In spite of the relatively vocal complaints about the adaptation of certain elements of the Marley Arc, it would appear that the overwhelming majority of responders seemed pleased with it, with 51.4% giving it 5 and 37.1% giving it a 4. 1s not present. 

I've been a bit bothered how Mappa follows the Manga like a slave, using the panels as scenes and not adding anything in between. Sure it works for Manga, but it feels weird to me to watch in Anime how Eren grabs Armins hand and they don't give a transition where Armin pulls him in, but just show him inside the airship next. Just little things, but bothers me a bit. Overall I'm really enjoying their choices.

The show looks BETTER

I was fine with the episode. The quality of animation dropped but I understand that every scene cannot be animated on highest level. MAPPA has done a great job with the Marley arc. They shown the character development and bonds between the warriors perfectly. We had some cuts here and there but overally was okay: 8/10 for me. 

I’m so pleased that MAPPA has taken the anime. I’m still more of a fan of this particular series’ manga than anime though.

DID SASHA’S DEATH AFFECT YOU MORE WHEN YOU READ THE MANGA, OR SEEING IT ANIMATED WITH VOICES AND MUSIC? 249 Responses

As noted above, Sasha’s death seemed to be a hard hitter for most. Comparison of the adaptation vs the original allows to discern which hit the readers/watchers the hardest. Just one percent shy of a majority (49%) thought that the anime made it much more tragic. 30.9% noted that the impact was roughly similar across both mediums. On the flip side, 10.4% thought that the initial depiction of it in the manga was the hardest hitter. There were also a couple of write-ins. 

I dont remember I sped run reading the manga, kinda regretting it

I knew it for the first time in the manga, so it had a more powerful impact (I cried for a whole week. Not kidding) and the anime managed to make me cry as hard as in the manga. Though, I already was aware and grieved so it wasn't as bad

Got Spoiled :( so kinda meh, saw it coming

When the music kicked in after Connie announced she was gone, my heart broke into a million pieces. 

Let's be honest, Sasha's role was over after she killed the titan in the village and saved Kaya. After that she was just there. She got zero development, zero important moments, zero depth. Her death effected many characters and helped them to develop. Sasha's death was sad but at least brought some important changes in others. 

Not a Sasha fan so I was not really that affected but having a death in the series always feels sour

I think for me, they're both even.....mostly. There's just something about having been waiting for the chapter leaks on reddit with a bunch of other people and most of us collectively grieving at the same time. Once bigger pages of the chapter started coming out, it made me cry. I didn't even cry during serumbowl when I first read it and that had plenty for me to be even more upset about.

Honestly while reading manga I hated that Sasha’s last word was „meat”, it seemed so ridiculous. I’m happy MAPPA made it look more serious with music. Actually everyone’s reaction for Sasha’s death had more impact on me than the death itself

HOW DID YOU FEEL WHEN YOU SAW GABI KILL SASHA IN THE MANGA? AND HOW DO YOU FEEL SEEING IT AGAIN NOW, KNOWING HOW GABI’S ARC DEVELOPS? 247 Responses

Gabi is perhaps the most controversial character introduced post-time skip. Whether you’re a proud member of the Gabi Gang, proud hater of the 12 year old or just a neural party, everyone can admit that. With Sasha’s death at her hands, many seemed to offer up their opinion on the kid, back then and now. A slight plurality, 31.2%, stated that they did not hate her back when 105 first released and they don’t hate her now. 23.1% note that although they were rather upset with her back down, they are not (upset/angry) any longer. On the flipside, 25.5% state that they still hate the kid, as they did back then. Finally, some were simply neutral. Classic. 

Quite a few write-ins, as well.

I hated her in the manga but after watching the anime, I’m not happy about it but I understand why she did what she did and don’t hate her as much anymore.

I was extremely upset about it before and am still extremely upset about it now, but for different reasons. I hate her less but am not any less annoyed by her brainwashed hatred of the Paradisians, although I understand her much better and realize and empathize that she's just a kid who's been used by her country in the worst way.

Gabi Braun Must Die

Broke my heart and was upset, but understood where she was coming from (thought about her perspective only)

Sasha shoulda killed this cunt while she had the chance

It’s war, she did as she needed to.  Her arc is fantastic 

love hate relationship 

I didn't like her but not because of Sasha death (that's war consequence) and it's the same now

I really hated her with my whole heart and soul, but now that it has been all explained, that she had character development, I even like her now

I used to be angry about it but I understand why now, Gabi is just a victim of Marley’s control just like anyone else is, it’s a shame this is the results of it. She’s still at fault but I can’t hate her so much for it

I feel tired of Gabi hate. I disliked her in the manga back then but now I feel neutral towards her, because she has changed. Yet, I wish she took less screentime. 

SORRY for ranting! I don't understand the hate on Gabe. Yes, I know she killed a Paradise character which was present in series since its beginning and I understand Sasha's fans are upset Sasha is not here anymore because of her. but those people do not analyse Gabe as they should be. Every character belongs to a different side and each side is blinded by what heir belives in. It is okay to not like Gabe but I don't tolerate hate on her. I THINK THIS QUESTION SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN INCLUDED AT ALL.

Initial hate, understanding after some thought

Understanding her situation I know I shouldn’t hate her, but I’m choosing to be petty and hate her anyway 

I liked her much more than I like her now. She was a much better character back then, her killing Sasha (a one-note comedic relief) was cool and brought some spice to the story. Now she just exists to spout themes and convenient exposition and to be an aimbot

i dislike her, even if i understand her

I dont like Gabi. Never did. It isnt because she killed Sasha tho. I just dont care for Gabi tbh BUT i can totally understand her actions and do not blame her for it after seeing the destruction and killings

I was and still am upset about Sasha's death, but from the start I blamed it more on the circumstances than Gabi.

I loved her then, I love her now and it probably wouldn’t change even if she killed my favourite characters. She’s my cinnamon roll

Gabi did nothing wrong, killing a soldier in the battlefield is not a crime.

See, I WANT to like Gabi since she's obviously changed, but knowing she killed Sasha nonetheless will ALWAYS prevent me from having any love or respect for her. She will always be my most hated character

MAPPA ADDED AN EXTENDED SCENE OF FLOCH AND OTHER SURVEY CORPS RECRUITS BEATING GABI AND FALCO. HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT IT? 240 Responses

MAPPA added an extra scene of Floch and Friends raining down copious amounts of gratuitous violence upon two 12 year olds (MAPPA is pro-child violence???????? Find out when 111 is adapted). 48.8% seemed to think that it was a decent addition, even if just for the SC’s characterization (or perhaps you enjoyed seeing that?). 22.5% thought it was a bit over the top to feature. Finally, 16.7% did not care. 

I didn't like it. But, it was def a believable reaction from them.

I just wish it was enough to kill her

I liked the additional characterization of Floch & co.

Great addition, it was implied in the manga so the scene fitted well. Still, it was horrifying to see how vile the scouts were to two kids

How about an option where we're glad Gabi got beaten to a pulp but not when Falco was?

ORA ORA thing, but we viewers get hurt too. 

Didn't feel bad about Gabi getting beat up, but I did feel bad seeing Falco get beat up. Poor boy didn't deserve that

A nice addition 

I thought it was a great choice to highlight the continuing violence and feelings of vengeance from both sides even more. and I thought it contrasted really well with Jean's decision not to throw the kids out of the airship.

The people glorifying this scene annoy the shit out of me

It's a good way to hint the "Yaegerist" perspective to anime onlies

MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA

The Gold Experience memes are funny

It was an IC scene for people like Floch + I feel bad for the kids

The way they shot that scene made the recruits seem like mindless, gross-faced animals storming towards the kids to beat them up. I liked how they were dehumanised like that, considering that most faces amongst them belonged to the ones who support the rumbling. 

It hurt to see that but good scene though

Feel empathy for Gaby. Violence don't solve problems

Now THAT'S what I call fan service! Who needs big-boobed, big-ass females or shirtless guys with and when you can just have the most hated character get the tar beaten out of them xD

I can see why they did it. MAPPA's not dumb and I'm sure they anticipated a massive onslaught on hate towards Gabi specifically, so it was their way of trying to satisfy the haters. Falco didn't deserve it tho.

It was a good addition

GREAT JOB MAPPA

I hate Gabi too but that was too much beating up a child, yet it also showed how shit Floch and the others are.

Apparently some people never noticed that Gabi and Falco got beat up, probably because it happened in the background. So it was good for MAPPA to call attention to it.

I love Gabi but she had that coming. No need to hurt Falco though. :(

OVERALL, HOW WELL DO YOU FEEL MAPPA EXECUTED THE REVEAL THAT ZEKE IS A TRAITOR TO MARLEY? 240 Responses

The reveal that ZOOK has been working against Marley for years on end is one of the most important ones in the series, really. So it was important to have it be executed in a rather decent manner. The vast majority of the fandom thought that MAPPA did a fine job. 52.1% gave it a rating of 4, 27.5% gave it a 5 and 17.1% gave it a 3. The couple of the other respnders gave it a 2, with no 1s.

IN THE END, DO YOU THINK EREN’S ACTIONS IN MARLEY WERE ULTIMATELY JUSTIFIED? 242 Responses

A question to remember… Were Eren’s actions in Marley ultimately “justified”? A plurality, 44.6% seems to think so. In contrast, 24% disagree. And 31.4% still aren’t sure to this day.

SIMILARLY, DO YOU THINK THE SURVEY CORPS WAS ULTIMATELY JUSTIFIED IN TREATING EREN AS THEY DID? 244 Responses

When it comes to the SC treating Eren as they did, the division is much less pronounced however. The majority, 60.7%, think that the SC had quite the justification for treating Eren as they did. On the flip side, 19.7% think that there was such justification for behaving in such a manner towards Eren. Finally, the same amount of responses stated that still can’t be sure to this day.

NOW THAT WE’VE GOTTEN A CLEAR SHOT OF YELENA, DID MAPPA DO HER JUSTICE? 243 Responses

YELENA is here. Queen 👑. Or well, maybe not. Who am I to say? In any case, her appearance was received well. 52.7% thought MAPPA did very well and 33.7% went on to declare their love for her. Just shy of 10% noted that MAPPA could have done a little better though. 

Kinda wish her hair was like neon or something idk

Need more eps of her to decide, she didn't get much screentime and lines here. 

I don't like Yelena, but yeah I guess they did good.

In the manga she was a creepy-looking person. MAPPA made her unique, interesting and mysterious. I love her voice and her stoic, relaxed self. MAPPA did a good job.  

QUEEN!!!!!

Great adaptation but I still don't like her as a character

Don’t care about her 

don't really care

I hate her and I don't care about her.

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 247 Responses

Such a colorful chart for this one. It would appear that slightly over a quarter look most forward to seeing Crykasa at Sasha’s grace. Slightly less (21.9%) want to see Sasha enjoying Niccolo’s cuisine. In third place is the scene with Connie, Jean, Mikasa and Niccolo at Sasha’s grace. The rest are, in order from most to least, Onyankopon and Yelena teaching the Survey Corps about the Port, EMA talking at the shooting range and Hange and Armin learning about Marley’s technology.

HOW HYPED ARE YOU FOR THE UPCOMING TIMESKIP FLASHBACKS? 239 Responses

The time skip flashbacks seem to be a hit. A little over 51% are super stoked about seeing them animated. Slightly under 24% state that they’ll enjoy them, but are looking forward to other things more. In contrast, 22.6% are ready to go crazy (from a positive standpoint)! Wooo! 

Enjoying AND dreading it at the same time

I just want the centipede

Boring. The only thing what interests me is Historia teasing Mikasa about her crush on Eren. The rest is too jolly. 

I'm looking forward to see Yelena's insane self be animated. That, and more Zeke.

THE MOST RECENT LIST OF FUTURE EPISODE TITLES SHOWS THAT EPISODE 12 WILL LIKELY END AROUND CHAPTERS 109-111, LEAVING CHAPTER 112 (EMA’S ARGUMENT) FOR EPISODE 13. EPISODE 67 WAS ALMOST ENTIRELY ADAPTED FROM CHAPTER 105, PROVING THAT ADAPTING DIALOGUE-HEAVY CHAPTERS FAITHFULLY CAN EASILY REQUIRE THE FULL 20 MINUTES. WITH ONLY 16 EPISODES - AND SO MANY WHICH ARE DIALOGUE-HEAVY - DO YOU THINK THINGS WILL END OFF WITH THE INITIATION OF THE RUMBLING (CH. 122), AS HAS BEEN SPECULATED BY MUCH OF THE FANDOM? 238 Responses

The manner in which the Season will end is a mystery to even the manga readers. Where will it end? Will it have many cuts? These are the questions. 36.6% seem to think that MAPPA will somehow manage to both end it at Chapter 122 and cut as little as possible. 26.5% don't believe ending on 122 is possible. 12.2% do believe MAPPA will end the Season on 122, but only with many notable cuts. Finally, just a little under 20% are simply not sure. There were a few write-ins as well. 

I hope not, too many cuts would be required 

The is no way they're making it up to 122, at first I thought they were going to finish it off with Eren's head getting blown off in 119, but now that seems like a reach too. Now I think MAPPA is probably going to end this first half of the season with Eren and Pieck's "where is the enemy?" and the warriors arriving to Shiganshina 

I’m not sure right now so I’ll have to see for later episodes for the cut-off point, if it isn’t the Rumbling then it’ll be when Gabi shoots Eren

MOVIE

I'm conflicted. I'm sure they'll end at rumbling because it's the only reasonable point to cut it, but I feel like they're running out of episodes. Then again I'm feeling the same about the state of Manga, there's just too little chapters left to end things up well.

I don't really want to think too much about it, I just want to enjoy the anime lol

I fully expect 119 to be the end

What was the point of rushing Reiner's chapters if you are going to slow down later. Goddamn it MAPPA. 

It'll really depend on the pacing for the next couple episodes, but I'm with a bulk of the fandom that see Chapter 119 Two Brothers being the end point for The Final Season. IF they were to skip the opening and maybe the ending, I can see them transitioning from Eren's head getting blown off immediately into his transformation and the beginning of the Rumbling. But even that is quite farfetched. 

I have no idea, I'm a little worried now. Wouldn't be the first time a lot of content gets cut but if they insist on reaching ch. 122, I just don't see how you do that without butchering a lot. If that happens, it would probably lessen my enjoyment of the season.

Yeah, I think it will have a lot of cuts, but I believe that it will get there because Ymir falling in the tree was in the trailer

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

It's amazing seeing how each week, something with SnK trends! ^^

It still baffles me just how much people insist on hating Gabi, especially when her arc has shown tremendous growth in the manga. Reiner was no better than her when he was a child and continued to insist that Paradisians are devils and chose to further destroy their lives even after sleeping under the same roof as the 104th for 3 whole years and forming personal bonds with them. Yet, his actions are forgivable but Gabi's are not? Both characters have shown remorse for their former beliefs and misdeeds against Paradisians. Both realized that they were in the wrong. The characters have forgiven Gabi. Why can't y'all do the same? People who want Gabi to suffer are no better than they accuse her of being. 

Well done episode which managed to capture the emotions of sasha's death perfectly

monke

I really appreciate Gabi as a character. She has spunk and a strong character arc in which she changes and grows more than anyone in the last 30 chapters of the manga, save maybe Mikasa (ignoring how Eren, Reiner, Armin and maybe a few others changed during the timeskip). It makes me sad seeing people wishing for her to die and praising Floch and the others for kicking her.

Gabi absolutely deserves the hate she gets

I absolutely love to see the anime-onlies mass hate of GabBitch, does my heart good xD

Boring ,too much Gabi she is annoying

Time to strap in: wild ride ahead!

Gabi Braun is the WORST character, her arc was poorly written and the moment she kills Sasha solidifies her rightful place as most hated character

No development has made me stop hating Gabi. The wound of Sasha's death will ALWAYS overshadow any crocodile tears Gabi may cry.

Kudos to Jean's and Connie's voice actors. Emotions were so raw and natural.

so good! they're really nailing down the emotional beats so far!

Dialogue-heavy but still amazing! Also the music was great

I didn't felt anything when Sasha died. Even the first time, in the manga. She hasn't enough personnality for me to care. Erwin and Bertolt's death were more saddening for me. Stop hating Gabi. She was in grief and she did what Marley brainwashed her to. And Sasha killed people right in front of her, so…

1 chapter was too little to be adapted for an episode, you could tell some scenes were stretched to fit the runtime

The music they chose for the scene of Sasha passing was also the same music they used when the Survey Corps first donned their capes and Eren found out Marco was dead... man, that song is gonna hit harder than ever now

It didn’t help with the overwhelming amount of hate Gabi is getting. I hope Mappa does her justice because she’s a great character but the Anime only seem to hate her because its a “funny” “popular” thing but it really isn’t... shows who really is paying attention to the story and the people who are watching it because it’s popular and trendy 

People who are hating on Gabi do not understand the themes portrayed in AoT

Pretty solid overall. Wonderful bits of animation such as the ODM bits and the solid character acting from Sasha going down, Mikasa and Armin is distress, personal highlight being Gabi's reload animation. Good ost choices, nice addition of Samuel and Daz to foreshadow their conflict later on in the story, and great work from Connie, Gabi and Eren's VAs.

Friendly reminder that just because we hate Gabi does NOT mean we don't "understand" the story or themes. We just don't care because Gabi is a bad character.

U mad at Gabi for what she did ? Did she kill Potato girl for no reason? Imgine a kid, at least 3 years younger than the 104th, made fighting on WARS and praised for it, brainwashed by Marley that Paradisians are devils, and these devils came in her home, killing her friends and this WOMAN killed in front of her eyes two people who tried to protect her. Don't be mad at Gabi. Grieve for Sasha, okay, but stop hating Gabi. You're the worst when you do it

Hey Gabiatans: as long as you're not threatening the VA or other RL p olle, it's PERFECTLY fine to hate Gabi. Period. We don't have to like her, and it's not like we don't "understand" her just because we hate her. I "understand" a lot of Germans were forcibly coerced into joining the Nazi regime, but I don't have to pity then for any consequences that came for them.

Leviiiiiii

I was surprised that Mikasa and Armin crying over Sasha had no voice over. I thought it was still effective but I'm not sure if I prefer it. Other than that, the character animation was amazing this episode. Gabi's hands as she reloaded the rifle and Armin crying were my favorites. Overall, everything was pretty perfect and I love it when a chapter gets adapted in full with basically no cuts. One of the best episodes in the series and a proper send off for Sasha.

Wonderfully done episode! They truly did Gabi and Falco's perspectives justice. Also, seeing Eren's expressions and reactions in animated format was clarifying and super well done, too!

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 227 Responses

Thanks again to everyone who participated! 

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

i wanted to request an imagine from Dialogue Prompt List with bishop losa, angst 3,4 and 11

Thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford 💘

Prompt:

3. I dont want to feel this way anymore*

4. My emotions have been turbulent for so long, im not sure how to react*

11. I dont hold people close. It makes it easier for them to hurt you.*

You never go to the club, unless there's a party on it or if it's really necessary. You talked about it thousands times with Bishop. The clubhouse is his place and, even if between you there are no secrets, sometimes you need to breathe and disconnect. But Marcus texted you, after all that happened with the ex-soldiers, to take care of his cousin. You were waiting for something like that, but maybe you thought that Taza would write you. Wearing your leather jacket and zipping it over your chest, you walk out of the house you two share on the outskirt of the town. Turning your motorbike with the helmet on, you drive to the center of Santo Padre.

Bishop is difficult sometimes and you're not the kind that overwhelms him with questions. He needs his space after a long day, a beer, a cigar and his guitar. He usually lies down on the grass of the back yard of your house with his gaze on the sky, playing some old rock songs. And when his beer is empty, you know you can sit by his side to hear him sing. You love him, when he can't love himself. You understand him at every single moment, when the darkness comes to him. 'Cause yes, he is a Mayan and everything that this fact means, but he's also human. He makes mistakes, he screws up, and he fuck up things. And since Marcus left the club, to be part of the Cartel, you know he has felt somewhat lonely and heartbroken. And only when you're holding him tightly between your arms is when he feels that he's safe from any danger.

The sound of your motorbike calls his attention, sitting on the picnic table with his feet over the bench. Leaving your bike close to his, you turn it off, leaving your helmet hanging on the handlebar. The crew is leaning out the window, breathing calm when they see you there. Walking towards the president, you stand in front of him. He's looking at you with this kind of puppy-eyes that no one could believe he uses. He looks like shit, like a complete mess, tired and exhausted. Raising a hand to his left cheek, he lies his head there closing the eyes and focusing on your touch.

“I don' want to feel this way anymore”. He whispers almost in a secret, showing you his most vulnerable part. You have never seen him like that before, but there's nothing you can't help him with.

“Talk to me, mi amor”. You ask him with a soft and sweet tone of voice, kneeling above the bench between is legs.

“I thought I had lost Marcus. The pain I felt for a second was... uncontrollable. Like if... I had the flames of hell consuming me inside”. He's gesturing with his fist almost hitting his own chest and talking with that kind of scratchy voice full of cholera and disappointment, that describes pretty well how he feels even if he doesn't use the correct words. “This is why I don't hold people close. It makes it easier for them to hurt you”.

You're listening in silence, letting him vent until he feels better, caressing his forearms till your fingers reach his.

“It's okay to feel weak sometimes, Obispo. You're not a robot”. You say then, when he can't find more air to spit. Getting up over the bench, you sit by his side with a leg behind his back so you can face him. “It's okay to feel fear, desolation, sadness... This only means that you have a heart. A good one, mi rey”.

“My emotions have been turbulent for so long... I'm not sure how to react”. He mutters somewhat confused.

“Just like you're doing now, 'cause what happened today is something new for you, and for all the crew. And it's more painful 'cause he's your blood. Your true family, the only one who didn't abandon you”.

You know all his past, everything that happened with his parents and his uncles. You know that he doesn't like to talk about it, he feels mostly ashamed and kinda angry. But it's a good moment to highlight it.

“Come home with me, Bish'”.

“I hate myself too much tonig'to spend it with you. You don' deserve it”.

“Do you know that...” Making a brief pause to surround his neck with both arms, so you can push him into your body, you leave a dearly kiss on his head. “I love you more when you're sad, than when you're happy?”

“Why?”

“'Cause you show your happiness to anyone, but you only let yourself fall into pieces when I'm hugging you. And there's nothing in this world I can enjoy most than hugging you all night long in our bed. In our home”. Smiling softly you look for his eyes, leaning towards him to catch his lips with yours in a slow kiss full of love and endearment. “I have tequila with a worm inside the bottle”.

Those last words collide right to his mouth, making him chuckle with that laugh that narrows his eyes.

“That's a good one, then”.

“Yes, I think it cost me about three hundred dollars. And I was keeping it for a special night. But every night with you is special, s—”.

“'You know how much I love you, rai’, mi amor?” He interrupts you, pulling himself away for some inches just to stare at you.

“I hope you're not saying it because of the tequila”.

“I'm saying it because since the day we met, I know you're the reward of my good karma. And I love you like I will never love anyone, blood or not”.

“Then, come home with me”.

[rosemallowss]

Im so sad too with all that´s happening around TBWDOA, it was magical the first time that I listened it: so much life, love and humanity even in the darkest places of the world... I felt that the hope around it was more strong that any problematic subject... I know that maybe im being naive and self-blinded by my own privileges, but im so angry that the controversy destroyed what for my was so beautiful. I dont know if this is weird, but I wanted to talk with someone that maybe feels the same :(

Hey dude, I thought exactly the same thing. I actually still think it, but every time I see any trace of the show in my camera roll or the copy of the album, it’s so hard not to think about all the angry people. I think now that it’s been a few weeks however, I can fully hold a discussion about this musical without feeling guilty or sad. Despite what other people think, I really don’t believe that the writers has hostile intents at all. If you look at old posts like this:

You can tell just how passionate they were about this show. & plus, I realized recently that these guys tend to write shows about topics that are not normally talked about as well. Example: this show and ‘Talk To Me’– a show about a child who is on the Autism spectrum. I suppose you could kind of count their other show “With The Right Music” as kind of that? However I’m actually not totally clear on what that show is about since it wasn’t actually written to the end– though I think it is about a closeted teenager in high school. I suppose this counts because there aren’t that many musicals written about closeted teenagers. I truly don’t believe that they were trying to offend anyone– simply were just so so invested in trying to get a story out there, maybe one that was unfamiliar to them, and perhaps it was also bad timing that the full show was released? Or maybe they were just as naïve too when they wrote the show probably around 2015 (earlier?) I used to always get their attention (unintentionally I swear) on Twitter when I’d talk about the show. Those dudes were really kind. And they follow back a lot of their fans. So, perhaps it was just naïvety? I’m aware that they’re attempting to make it right, and they are probably at the moment in conversation with Afghan Americans. That’s important, and speaks more than words I think. I know Troy, Nikhil, Sittichai, and Jonathan have been under fire. Troy has gone silent and if I’m not mistaken I think Sittichai and Jonathan as well? Other actors in the show such as Osh (Zemar) and though a small appearance– Shiv Pai (future Paiman’s son) have gotten no such comments I realize. Maybe the show was bad timing. Perhaps it would’ve had a more positive outcome in terms of rising popularity had it been talked about in a past tense; in a sense that “this practice doesn’t happen anymore” so that the setting is not modern day, but instead sometime in the late 1900s?Would that have made the show less controversial? Maybe? But we can never be sure. Would it have been less controversial if they minimized the extend of the abuse? Or removed that altogether and made it that it was simply two boys falling in love in rural Afghanistan who were coming terms with the fact that they were feeling this feeling with each other? well, yeah, because it would just be a love story in a different setting, and we’d probably see Feda and Paiman exploring the marketplace as well. If this was the case, I’d assume the conflict of the story would be homophobia from parents/internalized homophobia itself, or struggling to understand themselves. Another conflict could be something that many teenagers experience as well, such as fear of the future. Maybe arranged marriage could still be a conflict, and since Feda’s name literally means “sacrifice” he’d probably still have to die in the end. Perhaps they could have rewritten the show like that and the show would have little to no controversy? The music is incredible, and it could even portray the beauty of Afghanistan through their amazing way of writing music. I’m just brainstorming and rambling here, sorry! when it comes to this show it seems as though that I always just vomit out more words than anyone cares to hear. Let’s address why it was controversial as well though... Many were repulsed by the idea of s-x trafficking as a musical, and even more outraged with the musical being about Afghanistan. It showed negative parts of the country, and that would add on to people’s perception and dislike toward Afghans, which if you live in America you are aware of the racists’ stereotypes and disdain toward Afghans. (If you are naïve like me, you probably did not catch that as well. I truly forgot that there were people who perceived Afghans in a negative light. I was awed by the diversity in the show and so focused on that) I believe that they also have said how gay men are usually perceived as pedophiles as well and this show did not help to minimize that harmful stereotypes. I’m obviously kind of dumb because I didn’t realize that stereotype.

However it is true, because realized I often see this trope in fiction books about “creepy uncles preying on their nephews”. Though people don’t agree with the fact that it is a musical, I always saw it as a different way of storytelling. There’s a book called The Kite Runner that talks about the same topic in this musical by the way. I didn’t know this but my friends have had to read that book as an assignment in their English class. I thought, well, TBWDOA, it just tells the story through songs. So all in all, these were many of the points people made, and you cannot be upset with them for being angry. When I first listened to the show, I was aware it was controversial, but I thought the controversy would be something that can be discussed and debated while being enjoyed. Similar to how Hamilton is often debated for glorifying the founding fathers while still being a good show. However, when I replied to one comment because I thought that this was how it was going to go, I was bombarded with several other comments, I was called pedophilic and was told that because I was not Afghan that I should not speak and when someone said that, I realized “okay, I was wrong to think that this was an issue that could be debated!” I did not realize how much deeper it would be. As a result, I was flooded with comments from instagram and twitter and it was STRESSFUL and overwhelming that I just couldn’t sleep and had to take a break! However someone told me that even the most controversial, flawed works of art should be appreciated or discussed. It’s up for debate if that’s true. The show is incredible in portraying the strength of the human spirit— “find your voice, even if it’s weak, using it can make a difference that will lead to a greater change.” It showed a boy who used something that was SUPPOSED to degrade and silence him as a tool to lift him up and strengthen him– that was an incredible theme. He found power in the resources he could. Dancing was supposed to be something he could not decide, but he made it his own, would not let it weaken him, and used it as a tool to push him toward more positive hopes. There’s something so powerful about people taking back the thing that was supposed to weaken them, and twisting in into something that gives them strength. Though just because the music embodies the main characters incredibly and the message is empowering, we cannot ignore that perhaps, yes the show was quite insensitive to many Afghan Americans. It might take me several months before I can listen to any song from this show again though. But the show has such a special place in my heart, for making me fall in love with music theory and musical instruments all over again, for pulling my heart strings with incredible themes/life lessons, and the show embodying that theme in a heartbreaking final song, and then lastly providing a beautiful love story. Am I insensitive for saying that? I really don’t want to be, but a story like this has never made me feel like that before. I was intrigued by Islamic wedding customs and researched into that. I fell in love with the purpose of whirling dervishes, and fascinated by how beautiful that was. I watched videos about them, i read about them. Feda talked about an old Afghan poet in the show and god, for hours I looked up that poet and read the translated English phrases (didn’t finish however). I was taken by the beautiful geography of Afghanistan. I researched beyond the show to look at Afghan culture and I appreciated that. I understood that, of course this wasn’t a common practice that is active in Afghanistan. But I’m aware now that so many people will not see it that way at all. They saw the show as indulging the idea that this practice is apart of their culture which is not true, and the original theater did not market that well at all.. I want to hope that this was just really bad timing, that this show was misinterpreted, and in the future will be enjoyed and discussed rather than torn apart. I never like being on the controversial side of things, but, gosh, I don’t know.

But, I know exactly how you feel. And I welcome any asks/my messages are open for discussion about this show now.

[loudgothbf]

A letter

A letter arrived at Hibiki’s doorstep– not in the mail, but on the doorstep. Part of him was used to the sort of horror these types of letters brought– stranger stalkers, drunken threats, blackmail pictures in yellow envelopes– but he’d never been one to throw them away and hope, no matter how tempting it seemed.

He picks the thing up, turning it over carefully, before ripping open the envelope and finding… a letter.

[The letter as transcribed, a yellowed sheet of paper dotted with faded dark spots from assumed water droplets]

Hibiki,

Hi, I hope you’re doing alright. Thats…sort of dumb I know its been hard, Im sorry, god Im…so sorry. Thats mainly what I wanted to tell you (I really I regret) I really regret everything, so badly. (I care I love I miss) When I said it, I immediately regretted it, I never wanted to hurt you, ever. Im just I was just so confused scared stressed stressed about me, about you, about Them. I never wanted to hurt you, I never wanted to make things horrible for you. I love you so much I still do. I just wanted I couldnt help you and I knew you didnt want me. You didnt if you were happy with me you wouldnt have needed anyone else. I know we were supposed to be open but god Im such a weak fucking person I couldnt stand the thought but I was too afraid of losing you to say anything.

Funny you probably felt the same way.

I didnt want you scared of me, I didnt want to be controlling I mean I know for a fact you started changing how you acted and I didnt want you to change, Im.. so sorry I didnt stick around to help you, Im sorry I shouldnt have kicked you out we should’ve talked but I was panicking and I didnt know what to do. I know you didnt either. I wouldnt have made you leave if you never found a place honestly I wanted to beg you to stay but I know I did so much fucking damage and I didnt want to hurt you anymore by yoyoing you around. 

It’s honestly probably a good thing we broke up, you’re safer with Kyoshi, you dont have to deal with me and my issues and chores and god the only thing I want is to wake up beside you and make you breakfast in the mornings and I just I wanted us to be fine and

You werent happy with me.

I should’ve been honest about what I wanted, I should’ve told you that I was too big of a jealous asshole to see you with someone else. Someone you liked more than me.

I’ve been going to your hearings, or I was before some some things came up. You probably have an idea of what I mean. work related issues. You know Im not Im not writing you to beg for forgiveness, beg you to come back because thats wrong of me, you dont deserve that not after what they’re putting you through. I understand being angry at me, I would be too Im such a fucking idiot. 

Im so stupid for letting you go, for pushing you away and lets face it I did, I-i never listened, I put my ideals on you and you shouldnt have ever had to deal with that, you shouldnt have had to deal with me constantly worrying and babying you because I know you are fully capable. You’re so strong Hibiki, I really fucking admire that about you.

I love you so much. And Im so, so sorry. For everything.

I know I wont be able to ever make up for it, for not being there for you, for being so absent for not listening to you but I want you to know Im still in your corner with all this Yuta shit, I believe you, I know what you went through to try and help me and fucking christ I wish it were me going through this instead of you. I love you.

I wake up every morning thinking Im going to see you and when I dont I….I dont know what to do, I cant tell you how much I cherished having you there, having secret and the plants and how much you meant to me, I never deserved you in the first place.  I never told you how much seeing you both lit up my day, how much it meant to me that you and him were there when I woke up, I never told you how much I loved you, I never told you how much you seeing me at work meant to me and the Ikebana, I never told you how talented you are, you amazing you are and how badly I wish you’d monetize it, you’re so talented, having the apartment alive with plants made this place really feel like home.

God.

I cant ever tell you just how much you meant to me.

I’ll never get over you, this is really my biggest fuck up…

Im so sorry Hibiki.

If anything ever happens to me, there’s a key under the mat by my door.

I know that I should’ve stuck around, I know I shouldn’t have hurt you but at the time I really just, I didnt know what to do, I wanted to help but I couldnt, I wanted to be there for you like you needed me but I couldnt, I wanted to help you so you didnt have to work at the place and let those things happen to you just because you wanted to try and help me but I couldnt–I couldnt do anything like I was supposed to, it was overwhelming. 

I never actually wanted you to leave, and if you didnt find somewhere I was going to tell you that you could’ve stayed. I just run from things, I get so scared and I shut down and I just run away, thats all Ive ever done. I never wanted to run from you. I never wanted you scared of losing me but I couldnt even guarentee that I would’ve been there the next morning. Every day I went to work I just expected to never see you again.

I know it bothered you too.

Im sorry for even really sending this in the first place but I just really wanted to apologize, to tell you how much you mean to me and how much I hope you can be happy, how sorry I really am.

You know my parents had addiction issues, my mom it drove her crazy and my dad it got him put away, I just never wanted anything bad to happen to you but I was too scared to actually do anything about it.

And then I hurt you.

And I’m so fucking sorry.

The thing I’ll regret most in my life will be letting you go.

Im Sorry,

Hiroki

[Enclosed in the envelope: a bank card and a few number combinations written on the inside. A passcode to something, and a choker necklace]

-

Hibiki honestly couldn’t believe that he’d had the guts. Honestly couldn’t believe that, in the entire time they were together, he hadn’t had the balls to say any of this to his face. He’d been ‘brave’ enough to break up with him, but not enough to apologize? Not enough to admit he was wrong?

Part of him was tempted to simply throw the thing away.

[ila9182]

88 shandy? Thank you!

Thank you so much @mikusc for the ask! I’d like to apologize for the delay, real life got in the way and I didn’t have much time to write lately. 

Now here I am and the prompt challenge is slowly coming to an end. This prompt takes place at the end of 3x06 “Jane Doe Number 38″. I hope you will like it!

88. “I’m better, now that you’re here.”

The team progressively left, directing small smiles to Andy or giving him pats on the shoulder. Andy nodded to each one of his coworkers; thankful they had all joined him in the service he had organized for Alice, or whatever her name was. He hadn’t expected everyone to be there; he was surprised at first when Morales and Hobbs had tagged along, but he was glad they did. This was far more than paying their respects to a dead homeless girl, this was the proof they all were a team and that they stuck together in hard times. Maybe this was enough to end the day on a bright note.

Andy had exchanged one last glance with Provenza before the older Lieutenant nodded to him and disappeared down the end of the hallway, just as the rest of the team had done a few minutes earlier. Andy sighed and leaned against the wall, the exhaustion of the day creeping through him as he closed his eyes. He heard heels clicking near him and he didn’t need to open his eyes to know who it was. He would recognize her walk even in a crowded place. When he finally cracked his eyes open, two mesmerizing green eyes were staring back at him. She was standing silently next to him. She offered him a faint smile before saying, “It was such a beautiful service, Andy… and it was so thoughtful of you.”

Andy didn’t say a word. He didn’t know how he could possibly answer; he lowered his head as he had done previously during the service. When he looked up again, she was still there, staring intensely at him. He was slightly taken aback by the feelings he was reading in her expressive eyes. He couldn’t remember the last time he had read pride or admiration in someone’s eyes. He had seen disappointment, hurt, sadness; he was usually the one who let people down. All of this felt new to him, and he couldn’t believe that someone as special as Sharon would be so proud of someone as screwed up as him.

“How are you?” Sharon asked him softly, tilting her head as she studied the man in front of her. She was aware of how much the case affected him. She had witnessed him dealing with his conflicting feelings during the course of the day; anger, frustration, sadness… It was sadness she had read during the service, as his face had turned into a pout before he had lowered his head.

“I’m better, now that you’re here.” The words slipped from his mouth and when he realized what he had just said, it was too late to take them back. He didn’t dare look at her, too afraid to see her reaction. He cursed himself for not being able to hold his tongue and for saying reckless things like he just did.

“I’m glad I’m here then.” She softly replied after a few seconds, interrupting his thoughts and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. She gently squeezed it. Andy slowly looked at her hand on his shoulder before hesitantly meeting her gaze. She was smiling reassuringly at him and he surprised himself as a smile crept across his features, even if he didn’t really feel like it.

“Let’s go to my office, we’ll be more comfortable.” She offered as she quickly brushed a hand down his arm.

Andy simply nodded and they silently walked down the hallway, side by side. They reached her office and Sharon stepped in first. She stood by the door, waiting for him to enter before she closed it. She motioned to the chair and Andy sank in it without a word. She studied him for a few seconds and noticed how exhausted – not only physically, but also emotionally – he looked. His features were tense and he looked paler than usual. She suddenly worried the case might have messed up with his blood pressure and made a mental note to ask him about it. She slowly joined him, sitting in the other chair, facing him. She didn’t need to sit at her desk for that conversation; she wasn’t there as his boss, but as his friend and she wanted to be sure he understood that.

“I’ve heard things got a little tense in Electronics while I was interrogating Slyder.” She started. “Do you want to talk about it?” She softly asked, leaning in a little to catch his gaze.

“I’m sorry about that, Sharon…” He let out with a sigh. “I-I slightly lost my temper. It won’t happen again.” He immediately assured her, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

Sharon shook her head as she replied in a serious tone, “No, Andy… that’s not what I meant. I’m not here to lecture you.” She paused as she emphasized her next two words, “I understand.”

Andy nodded and he briefly closed his eyes. He rubbed his forehead before saying, “Hobbs was about to proceed with those ridiculous second-degree murder charges… and I just… I just couldn’t accept it.” He paused and took a deep breath before continuing, “This asshole killed a young girl. He drowned her in a pool because she tried to stop him from robbing the house…” His voice trailed off and he sighed, “She was just a kid.”

Sharon nodded, looking down. She wasn’t sure she could find the right words to comfort to him. What could she say? She was also very shaken about the case. She didn’t have to think much about it because Andy kept on, “That flower hair clip… Nicole used to wear one like that too…” His voice was slightly shaking and he briefly closed his eyes to regain his composure.

“Don’t do this, Andy…” Sharon whispered, resting her elbows on her knees as she leaned forward. She studied him, and she could tell that he was fighting a silent war against his overwhelming feelings. She gently reached for his hand and covered it. Andy reopened his eyes at the touch and stared at her hand on his. Sharon squeezed it before releasing it, forcing him to meet her gaze. When he finally did, he told her, “She had no one… No one cared, no one asked her about her life, her family… hell, no one even bothered to ask for her last name.” He added, a hint of anger in his tone. He sighed, and his shoulders slumped as if it was getting too tiring to even get angry at the situation. His defeated tone came back as he said, “She was invisible…”

“Not anymore, Andy.” Sharon assured him, shaking her head. “We’re not going to give up on her, and we’ll be sure Slyder pays for what he did.” She told him firmly and it was easy for Andy to believe in her words.

However, there was still something bugging him. Andy shook his head and muttered with a wistful smirk, “Yeah, but now it’s too late. No one was there to help her when she was alive.”

“We’re going to give her peace, Andy…” Sharon murmured encouragingly. “That’s all we can do, but it’s important too…”

Andy looked down at his fidgeting hands and took a deep breath. He knew she was right and he wanted nothing more than to fully believe in what she told him. He just wished he could manage to make the sadness he was feeling disappear, but he knew it wasn’t that easy. At least he was there, talking with someone instead of drowning his sorrows in a bottle.

Sharon worried her bottom lip as she watched him struggling. It seemed to her that all the words she had said to him were useless. She felt like she was powerless to lift his spirits, she felt like she was letting him down and it saddened her. “Look Andy, we all have that one case who hits home…” She tried.

“I know, I know…” He repeated as he waved a hand absent-mindedly.

“I’m not telling you to not feel this way…” Sharon softly told him with a wistful stare, “Just don’t let this case eat you alive. Don’t obsess about it, don’t bottle everything up, talk about it.”

“Well, I’ve got you for that.” He told her, meeting her gaze, as a smile finally crossed his features; the first since they had started talking after the service.

Sharon felt relieved. She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding back. “You sure do.” She agreed with a wide smile before patting his knee. “What do you say to grabbing something to eat before calling it a night?” She offered encouragingly. When she saw Andy open his mouth, she shook her head, and tried to lighten the mood as she added with a smirk, “I won’t accept no, or I’m not hungry as an answer.”

Andy seemed to consider her offer, and Sharon began to fear he might refuse it. His serious features suddenly broke into a grin when he asked, “Well, would you at least accept a thank you?”

“Oh, I sure would.” She smiled back before standing from her chair. “Come on, Lieutenant.” She urged him, stretching her hand in front of him. “Let’s go.”

Andy grabbed it and stood as well as he teasingly answered, “Yes, Captain.”

Andy let go of her hand and she moved behind her desk to grab her bag before walking to the door. He put a hand on her upper arm to stop her. Sharon slightly turned around with a questioning look and he sincerely whispered to her, “Thank you, Sharon.”

“Anytime, Andy.” She replied with a sweet smile, patting his arm. “Anytime.”

[jinkookbf]

god i just realised how much bts rly mean to me like ,,, they rly are so fucking important in my life like u kno that one post thats like "we all found bts when we needed them most" like ,,, yeah that

hobi reminded me of my love for dance which seems like a such a small thing but its rly not ,, i dont really want to go into detail bc ive never talked abt it before but i was in such a horrible place with horrible coping methods bc i get overwhelmed super easy and never knew how to deal w it ,, and starting dance class forced me to deal w it better but also just made it easier like ,, i dont get so overwhelmed anymore bc dancing is such a good outlet and now when im angry or filled w some other emotion i dont know how to get rid of i know now that i can put on music and dance and that ill feel better

jungkook ,,, ok it started as a jealousy thing aksajdj which sounds so stupid and it probably is but like ,, hes everything i wish i was and he can do everything i wish i cld do ,, now its more of a competition ig ajsjjahd like idk he makes me want to try harder ,, study harder dance harder sing harder ,, its resulted in me like working out and stuff ,, eating properly and drinking more water and sleeping better ,, and hes also made me want to try harder to be kind ,, not just to other people but also to myself

yoongi ,, honestly yoongi is a big comfort to me ,, a reminder that everything is ok ,, is going to be ok ,, its ok to be human and to be sad and angry ,,, i dont have to prove my worth to other people im already good enough and that when u feel like u have nothing u still have yourself

joon has inspired me in so many ways tbh ,, hes made me want to learn like ,, everything akhshd and taught me to appreciate beauty and look for beauty and to never stop writing down and sharing that beauty with other people

taehyung ,,, honestly hes taught me to never like grow up you know ,,,, like stay a child at heart always love things and find joy in the small things ,, photography ,, fashion ,,, art ,, to hold onto your childhood dream and always look for the silver linings never let the good outway the bad,,, capture the beauty and share it and never forget to love life

jimin has made me feel more comfortable in my body tbh ,,, like im not 100% what hes gone through bc obviously idk him personally ,, but like i can relate to what ive seen ,,, hes made me feel a lot more comfortable in my femininity and w my voice and just with me ,,, like i dont have to force myself to be what other people expect or want me to be ,, being me as i am is enough

jin has taught me confidence tbh ,, like you dont have to hate yourself for the things u cant change about yourself ,, embrace it ,,, laugh louder and be silly and dance even if its not professional ,, but hes also taught me hard work ,,, like if im not satisfied and i can change it ?? why not be better ???

aksj god this is gonna sound kinda stupid but tbh i didnt believe in love until i met bts like ,,, i didnt think it was possible to love myself ,,, or to love doing something w my whole heart ,,,, or that ppl wld ever love me as i am ,, but i do believe it now ,, bts taught what love is and that its real

[01010010-posts]

abo anon. i saw your response to my rough play ask &... imagine 69ing with omega connor. he's on top, hands bound w rope behind his back, mouth knotted as his alpha continues to eat him outas he writhes, holding his hips tightly & spanking him cuz he's overstimulated & moving his hips a bunch, moaning around his alphas cock. when it's finally over he's still moaning from all the praises as alpha wraps him in a blanket & kisses his bright blue face.

AHHH sorry for the late reply!!!first of all yes, absolutely yes??? how the fuck do you even think these things im crying,,,, i bet you would be super good at writing them!!! you should try it!!connor with his hands behind his back, tied by a rope, squirming, because he both hates and loves being restricted like this, his mouth completely filled, the sensors on his tongue going into override, his body at the mercy of his alpha, who doesn’t wait on his omega to adjust but continues to stimulate him, their tongue moving, their fingers gently caressing connor before striking again and spanking him, leaving a visible mark on his skin. the same that’s weirdly blue on his face, around his nose and under his eyes. he can’t help but be overwhelmed by all these sensations. he might overheat a bit. and by a bit i mean a lot. and by a lot i mean he’d gladly faint from the pleasure. AND the praises dont get me started on the praises. he’s feels drunk whenever you praise him!!! giggly connor that adores being praised, esp during sex!who wouldnt honestly *clap handsx4*i dont have anything to add to this ask bc it’s perfect already if not that im fucking guilty of making omega connor such a sub because im wEAK why cant i peg android boys,,,,!!!!!! :’(((i love this sm mdk.djkdjdkjlj60 would prob have a hard time bc he’s him ok but if he’s feeling more angry/jealous than insecure then gosh,,,, he would *drag* his alpha somewhere close and private and pout. he’d stare at them for a long time, not saying anything, his shoe probably tapping nervously on the ground. they’d have to figure it out themselves. which, they do, because they know 60, they know what’s gotten into that tiny head of his. and so they apologise, kissing, cuddling, pulling him near, hugging him. but that’s just sufficient to calm him down and reassure him. of course it’s not enough. he needs to be teased too. to let him know that his alpha learned a lesson. and he’d probably take control of the situation, kindly, but still control. he’d make his alpha beg. and yes, they would def reek of each other’s scent. everyone needs to know!!connor would repress his jealousy because come on it’s a stupid emotion to feel of everything he could. he shouldn’t even think about it. and yet. yet he’s there, his mind clouded, his eyes roaming the room, looking at you, secretly playing with his coin in the pocket of his jacket…. GOD. he can’t do this anymore. he asks to speak with you in private and as soon as you’re alone he regrets his decision why did he do it oh no no no now you’re gonna laugh at him for being so stupid, for being so jealous, jealousy is bad right? but he cant help it. it’s stronger than him. so he just,,,, lowers his head like a guilty puppy, muttering something inaudible and you coax him into repeating it again and again until it’s actually sounds and then letters and then words you can understand. and you don’t like what you understand. you didnt mean to make him doubt himself. you sigh, sweetly cuddling him, biting his neck, leaving splattered marks here and there, not bothering to stop this ritual that has him gasping ever so slightly, there’s plenty of time to talk about this at home, in the moment there’s just him and only him, his need to be gratified, to be told ‘good boy’ and ‘i love you’, to be reaffirmed as your lover, as enough. he’s so enticing you can’t help yourself either. he looks embarrassed but happy at the same time when he returns to his workplace before you, to not be suspicious, though his and your scents mixed together don’t leave much to the imagination for others.RK900 mhh. he’s possessive allright. but he’s also quick to get annoyed and that’s maybe one of his biggest flaws. not to mention that’s he’s vvvv needy in this AU. he might either not even give the other omega the chance to approach his alpha (have you seen this boy? he’s fucking huge, he’d scare anyone in a heartbeat) or let them do whatever they want just to sulk later, be nervous and have this distressed scent & aura around him. of course he wouldnt tell anything to his alpha. not because he wants them to get it as 60 or something like this. he’s just. a bit sad. he knows he’s an android and it often hits him. and when it does he’s…. really at loss for words and reactions. he’s apathetic. so it’d probably be his alpha having enough of their distressed omega and acting kinda brash, taking him somewhere quiet. he’d get more nervous and with a 100% probability he’d retort in a bad manner at the ‘what’s wrong?’ of his alpha. and he’d try to get away with it. to just wait for the sour mood to pass (though he knows it won’t pass, not like he can forget or anything like humans do). BUT his alpha feels guilty af, they def pushed him and did the wrong thing. so they grab his hands and ask him to stay. at least a little. he doesn’t move, letting you do whatever you want, he’s tired already. he only needs his nest. so you bit your lips and apologise to him, comforting him, not leaving even a doubt in his mind, he’s the one, he’s the only person you want, yes, he’s a person. not an android, not an omega. a person. your person. he’d probably want you to hug him for a solid minute, inhaling your soothing scent, taking deep breathes, ingraining in his wires that you’re there and you’re his. and everything will be this way forever. he’d linger his tongue on the bite mark he did on your skin, wanting to remind both of you that you’re soulmates. partners. mates. doesn’t matter the name, the only thing that matters is you two. it would definitely evolve into something more, needy as always, but this time with him wanting you to feel a bit bitter, a bit like he does whenever someone is too flirty with you. whenever you don’t smell like him in every part of your body. which, after he finishes with you, wouldn’t be possible.AHHH??? thank you baby?? this means a lot bc jdkjdlkjd i hated that thing, i posted it and wanted to forget about it. but maybe re-reading it after some days it’s not super bad. if you like it then that’s the most important thing!! it was thanks to you after all!! tho im a bit sad that i lost the purpose of it halfway through, think it kinda shows. i could def have done better ugh!! or maybe im not cut for writing sexy things who knows!!!! (as i was typing this i lost this whole answer for a moment and started to cry and shake, fortunately i got it back)FUCK?? YES?? MHH??he promised!!!! now he has to obey his alpha n be good and actually get off from his little friend down there. and boy he does. he still has to try 4 out of 4 speed. he’ll,,,, cum sm. dirty. AHAHAH his voice box goes hoarse for a sec, thank god he’s an advanced model and quick to disable it because he was this close to let everyone hear. which, ironically, turns him on like there’s no tomorrow. does anyone even work at the DPD or they just all have sex there?