#im so mad for health reasons but i can t word why im just so mad

[catboyfurina]

.

[yinses]

B R A N D E D

| he would make sure that everyone knew who you belonged to |

tattoo artist! sukuna ryomen

rating: t

a/n: this is going to be a three part series. it got too long because i couldn’t shut up. thank you to @teoran for beta reading !! 

you should have never informed yuuji that you were thinking about getting a tattoo, because of course his first response would be hey, sukuna owns a shop. why don’t you stop there. as if you didn’t already known that. your other friend, unfortunately had not known how to be subtle about it.

its when you go to hand off your card that they gasp audibly, drawing the attention of both yourself and the woman behind the counter.

“you’re not going to ask for a discount? i mean you know the owner, right?”

she jumps back quick enough to dodge the errant elbow you throw her way.

you knew you would regret telling her.

the woman is undeterred as she take your card, looking bored with the news. “so you know sukuna, huh?” the way she said it implied that it wasn’t the first time it had been made known to her.

you had known the man long enough to know where her thoughts were going with that assumption. sukuna wasn’t only popular for his art. a shudder rolled through your body at the idea of being categorized as one of his flings.

it wasn’t as though you were intentionally shaming the women. but it was sukuna. the same guy who locked you and his younger brother out on the patio whenever he was meant to keep an eye on you. and then blamed you for hiding from him when the responsible adults got home.

in hindsight, maybe you should have chosen another location. but now your card has been charged.

you scribbled your signature on the receipt, “uh yeah, awhile now. im not requesting him or anything.”

“his appointment book is full anyway. he doesn’t take walk ins.” its not said snidely, just matter of fact. as if she was seasoned with dealing with these kind of customers.

the man of topic strides in then, carrying a few bags of take-out that he drops carelessly onto the counter. he doesn’t m look unlike any other day, a loose white sleeveless shirt with a low hanging v-neck that just invited attention to his skin. the swirls of black ink made permanent by his hand only. though that was the advantage of this field and owning your own business on top of it.

sukuna was prepared to ignore the clientele planted at front desk, until he did a double take. those vermilion eyes took you in, morphing from speculation, to shock, a pinch of awe, then back to postulation.

“what are you doing here?”

a small frown mars you face. you didn’t actually consider that perhaps sukuna wouldn’t want you here. it was one thing to know the guy, but whether you wanted to accept it or not, you weren’t just another customer. so you unsurely respond with, “getting a tattoo?”

the snort he gives isn't one of annoyance. in fact its almost comforting to see the minuscule curl of his lips until they start to part, “yeah, missing something aren’t you?”

you realize with a frown that he’s referring to his brother.

“i have other friends.”

that slow smile wides as he gives your friend a brief look of appreciation. suddenly all those years of witnessing him cart his flings around rise to the forefront of your mind.  really nothing rarely changed. “ i can see that.”

his gaze cuts back to you, “what are you getting? your boyfriends name?”

you cant tell if he’s teasing, fishing or a combination of them both.

he turns to lean over the counter, arms flexing at the action and pinches the fresh design still hot from the printer. you resist the urge to shuffle in place as he inspects the image with more interest than there were lines. it was hardly all that complex, just as you intended.

sukuna finally voices his opinion, to no surprise of your own. “yeah? kind of small isn’t it?”

“its my first sukuna,” you drawl.

you realize too late that the wording isnt best around him.

“no kidding.”

he tugs a styrofoam box free from the plastic bag before gesturing to you with a tilt of his head.

“alright, lets knock it out.”

you look to the woman expecting her to complain about his pending appointments but she only returns it with a pointed look. when it came down to it, what the boss wanted goes.

right then.

turning, you address your friend who seemed more invested in watching sukuna’s departure. “are you coming?”

her gaze snaps to you and she doesn’t even bother to pretend. she shrugs, “you may not be squeamish about needles but i am.” her hand waves vaguely towards the lounge area near the coffee station and stack of assorted snacks. “i’ll come running if you scream though,” she teases as you turn down the hall.

sukuna’s voice carries from the right in guidance where you find him setting his food off to the side. the room is neat. though you don’t know what you were expecting given the health expectations lining his work. then again, you’d spent the better part of the decade watching him cart week old pizza boxes out of his room so it was hardly a baseless assumption.

aside from the desk of tools and variety of inks the only other defining feature was the wall at the back. there was no rhyme or direction to the madness. the once white wall was littered with varying penmanships and messages. almost like an autograph book. some derogatory, others genuinely thankful for his work - you think you see a few numbers too.

the cushion of the seat protests under his weight as he rolls to the center of the room. he has the stencil of your chosen art held up in expectation.

“where is this pretty little thing going?”

“oh my rib- here on the right.” you think nothing of bringing up the hem of your shirt to expose the skin just under the curve of your breast.

he almost looks impressed, though there is some doubt. he wheels closer and gives no warning as his hand palpates the area. “over the bone? that’s daring for your first tattoo, princess.”

the name was nothing new, an accompaniment to yuuji’s ‘brat’.

part of you actually grateful that its sukuna. the entire shop had good reviews but it was best known for his talent. besides, the charge was already sitting on your card.

“i can handle it.”

he’s still squinting at your side, fingers tickling at your skin.

“yeah?” he answers absently. nimble digits you didn't think had any taste for delicacy carefully peel the plastic from the stencil. he doesn’t second guess himself in the slightest before pressing it to your skin.

when he pulls away, the chair follows him as he collects a hand mirror from his desk to reflect the design back to you.

“double sure?” he’s still rallying your resolve, but there is a hint of warning to his voice as professionalism seeps in.

with a firm nod you seal the deal,” yeah.”

“aright, pin up your shirt out of the way. tuck it into your bra if you want.”

you were expecting this already, given the location you’d decided on. with sukuna that action comes effortlessly without thought. it was no different than the times he’d seen you in your bathing suit, your brain reasoned. at least you still had your pants this time.

sukuna rests back into a lean against his small desk. absently you note that his eyes haven't left you once since you’d entered the room.

“eager little thing aren't you?”

but its sukuna.

you shrug.“ i guess. kind of been saving up for this one.”

the noise he makes is non-committal as he nods to the angled chair.

without your shirt there was no barrier between yourself and the leather. you expected the cold chill but the lack of stickiness kind of surprised you. once again you were reminded of the indisputable list of reviews at your fingertips.

sukuna goes about collecting the materials to disinfect your skin, angling the bottle and cotton over the trash can to catch the excess drops. satisfied with the saturation, he slides back.

you try to absorb the brief shock you feel when he applies the alcohol to your skin. it was hardly a substitute for actual bracing to come but it was good practice. when you look up, you catch his gaze again.

he’d been more observant in these last few minutes than you could ever recall sukuna caring before. maybe it was the job. though the thought of him excelling at customer service has you fighting a snort.

“cold,” you supply and he gives another grunt.

he chucks the cotton ball into the trash with all the efficiency of a man who has made a sport out of it and probably keeps score.

deciding on a solid color eliminated the need for him to break away to change shades, eliminating any surplus time keeping you in this chair.

a gloved hand braces your side, pinching the skin, while the other holding the gun rests against your sternum. when the motor starts you take a careful breath in. sukuna’s eyes raise at the sound.

“not nervous?”

you blink, expecting him to just get to it.

“uh, not really? i’ve never really been afraid of needles.”

he pauses. just when you part your lips to ask what wrong the buzzing starts.

its impossible not to tense at the first bite of the needle. but you fight the urge to jerk. it stings. the vibration of the motor is uncomfortable against your ribcage but it's not unbearable. you certainly wouldn't cry.

sukuna seems to notice it as well.

“not going to lie thought you’d be more of a cry baby? weren't you the one sobbing after you stubbed your toe.”

you latch onto the idle chatter even if it's a jibe.

“i was eleven and i sprained that toe.”

he gives you a quick glance. “sure, princess. completely called for the waterworks.”

you snort. “yeah well it made me stronger. im barely affected today.”

your words are followed by a shift of his hand as it turns to follow a line, the movement pressing firmly against the underside of your breast. you're too attentive to the needle pinching at your skin to take notice.

but sukuna does, eyes narrowing without your awareness.

“yeah, i can see that.”

rather than closing your eyes to block out the pain, you find a more comforting distraction in tracing the lines of his tattoos with your gaze. you can hardly make out the first tattoo he’d gotten at the age of seventeen after forging his parents signature. 

the abstract design had now branched out, interlocking with new styles to map out the formation of a sleeve. it was almost like his own branded language. a dialect of bold shapes and bands. you’d never thought to actually ask what his tattoos meant. nor did you expect an honest answer.  

sukuna works rather quickly and efficiently while your mind wandered. even if he hadn’t squeezed you in during his lunch break this felt like the usual pace for him. he looked so in the zone as he followed the pre-made lines to perfection.

you weren’t the model customer, still having your brief moments of weakness but he rolled with the interruptions better than you expected. sukuna was brash growing up and didn’t tolerate nonsensical people. you’d had your fair share of opportunities to be chewed out by him.

and earned a reasonable amount of them, though your returning attitude said otherwise.

but this sukuna was softer, if you could put it like that. he knew the right time to give you breaks but didn’t let your nerves settle too much. when he wasn’t adding a layer to permanency to your skin, an errant finger would smooth over the swelling flesh.

more than once you heard him throw out a quiet good girl. that you knew was meant to be encouraging but it came with additional implications that tickled your skin.

he tells you that you should be grateful that the artwork doesn’t need any shading. that it was never a good fit for beginners.

your chest expands the furthest it had in the last half hour when he finally rolls back.

“alright, princess, go ahead and take a look.”

you take the offered mirror again and angle it to take in the fresh piece. the reflection you get back is- amazing. you’d been so concentrated?? on micromanaging the pain that you failed to take in the little details he’d added along with the original design.

as if reading your thoughts, he snorts. “it's not my art if i don't leave my mark. you can tell me it looks good you know.”

if you didn't know any better, you’d say he was authentic in his attempt to bait your approval.

and you had no reason not to provide.

your legs are a little shaky but you manage to balance yourself before brining the eldest itadori into a hug. sukuna goes stiff for a moment before returning the embrace and doesn’t resist when you press your face into his shoulder. there’s an awkward pat before they release each other from the hold.

sukuna .. before he’s shrugging you off.

“god, what a noob. at least let me cover it up. you’re going to irritate the skin.”

when he turns back to rummage through his desk you note the hint of a flush creeping up his nape. you know better than to mention it, instead just smiling at his back.

there is a scowl on his face as he applies the cotton square to your skin and tapes it in place.

“please do not itch this shit. i don’t care if you feel like your skin is going to fall off.”

he presses a small tube of antibiotic into your hand.

“and apply this daily. you don't need it drying out. “

you’re grateful for the little slip of printed instructions that follow. you were able to remember the sensible directions but it couldn't hurt to have additional guidance when you started to question the progress.

“oh and no sex.”

that was definitely not on the list.

sukuna raises a brow in all seriousness. “what? if you get your blood pumping too much.”

you call him on his bullshit,” this small? hardly. “

he raises his hands in mock surrender. “alright, try it yourself if you want. i charge for touch ups though.”

the two of you size each other up. just like old times.

with a sigh you relent, “fine, no sex.”

“good, see me in two weeks.”

his words stop you short. it wasn’t as if you needed anything added and he wasn’t a physician checking on your progress. if anything, you would only revisit your artist if there was a problem.

“what for?”

the dawning grin would follow you for the next fourteen days.

“to make sure you didn’t have sex.”

[joontier]

akin ka na lang (muli.) | drabble

translation: be mine (again.) 

synopsis: Dr. Kim Taehyung, locally known for his successful cardio-thoracic surgeries. One thing he isn’t known for though, is that he’s your two-timing ex who’s come to visit you in the new hospital you work at. 

pairings: taehyung x reader

rating: R (18+)

au: doctors!au; exes!au | genre: smut, slight angst, mentions of infidelity

warnings: exhibitionism, fingering, cunnilingus, degradation 

word count: 2.2k

request: by @taemaknae​​​ “silakbo track feat. taehyung + doctor!au (because we need more doctor aus hehehe” SORRY IT TOOK A WHILE BABE!! but here ya gooo! I hope u enjoy it luv hehehhehe

g/n: this is part of The Paraluman Playlist - a drabble game we’re holding for the whole month of August!!! Send in your requests lovelies;; ((why do i get the feeling that this could be a good prologue too ajsdfhoaiwjef)) also,,, this might be a part of a fic crossover with one im working on right now with jk wOOPS

navi. | m.list

“And that concludes the reports for this month’s cardiac surgery reports.” 

Ending your presentation with one last click of your pointer, you turn to your fellow doctors, resisting the strong urge to roll your eyes. Some of the seniors are already asleep, while those who are a closer to your age are obviously bored to the bone.

You’re seriously considering if you want to even bother asking the audience if they have any further questions when no one was listening in the first place anyways. Well, maybe except for the chairman who had been all ears the whole time.

Meetings like these are just a major waste of time – time you could have used to sleep your fatigue away after having completed a five-hour open heart surgery last night. If it only weren’t for the hospital’s board of directors that implemented this scheme.

The Ministry of Health and Welfare had only encouraged all hospitals to hold conferences like this to support medical-related research, but The Woocheon Group, after having been praised by the ministry itself for pioneering experimental medicine and clinical trials, upped its game, scheduling these quarterly conferences to monthly ones.  

This plan would have sounded engaging to most third parties, but to those who were chosen to create reports, such as yourself, do not find these meetings most pleasant. After all, these month-end reports will also be uploaded to Woocheon’s online journals. Not that these doctors would even read any of those even if published both online or in paper. Unless of absolute necessity as reference, of course.

Your eyes scan over the audience consisting of at least forty doctors until you lock eyes with the one and only Kim Taehyung - infamous for his recently successful cardio-thoracic surgery on a twenty-two year old athlete back at Daegu Medical Center. Unfortunately for you, he’s also the same man who cheated on you for another colleague a few years back. 

He was the reason you left DMC in the first place, unable to continue your career back at the center with such an unhealthy, hate-conducive environment. Obviously, you knew having to work with a cheater and having to face him for at least six days a week wasn’t going to do you any good. Hence, your moving to Seoul to officially pursue your fellowship at Woocheon Medical City. What you never expected though, was Taehyung coming all the way from Daegu to sit in with Woocheon’s internal conferences. 

For what? Why was he here? What reason does he have to suddenly show up like this? 

Whatever his business here was absolutely none of yours, and you promised yourself you were going to be the last person to concern yourself with such. 

“Any further questions?” 

You see Taehyung’s hand raise hesitantly, but retracts it quickly as another raises his hand. As you address the inquiry, you still feel Taehyung’s gaze locked on yours. Nobody dares to ask another question, not wanting to prolong the useless conference any longer. Thankfully, the hospital’s chairman ends the meeting shortly after that.

As you pack your things up while the rest of the crowd files out of the room, you feel someone approach you. In fact, you feel two - with both of the presences extremely familiar. When you look up from your desk, you see Taehyung and Chairman Jung Hoseok nearing the podium you stood behind from.

Taehyung lets the chairman approach you first. Good, at least the man still has a little bit of dignity left in him. “Dr. _______, great presentation today,” Hoseok applauds, “You are a blessing to this hospital,” the chairman adds, placing a hand on the small of your back. 

“All in a day’s work, Chairman Jung,” you give the man a warm smile. Taehyung notices the small gesture and diverts his gaze quickly, as if he was caught watching something private. You smile inwardly, wanting to drop as many hints as possible to let the blonde-haired man he isn't welcome here. 

The chairman finally takes notice of his presence as he turns around, much to your dismay. “Ah! Dr. Kim Taehyung! I wasn’t informed of your arrival… anyways, welcome to The Woocheon Medical City and may I introduce to you one of our best cardiology consultants here…” 

“Dr. __________, of course.” A wide smile forms on Taehyung’s lips, reaching out his hand for a handshake. You hesitate for a split-second - torn between not wanting to be within arm’s reach of your traitorous ex-boyfriend, or maintaining your usual professional demeanor. Maybe it’s best for you to go with the latter, and pretend you two are meeting for the first time. 

“We were colleagues back in Daegu Medical Center.” 

Or maybe not. 

Hoseok’s secretary comes over just in time, informing him of a friend  who wishes to meet him outside as well as the rest of the day’s schedule. “Oh, guess I’ll have to meet that one then,” Hoseok says, turning to the both of you. “Well, I’ll have to leave you both for a moment. I’ll see you both around.” With a short wave, the chairman leaves the two of you to “catch up”. 

“_________. Can we talk?” 

“There’s nothing to talk about, Dr. Kim. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I still have plenty of things to do.” Deciding not to meet his eyes, you scan the room, sending a silent plea to the last doctor who was getting ready to leave, wishing that he won’t leave you alone with this man. 

Taehyung blocks your sight with his body. Clenching your jaw, you tilt your head at him, waiting on what he has to say now. “Come back to me, please…” A scoff escapes your lips as you roll your eyes at Taehyung.

“I’d even beg on my knees, _______. I’ll do whatever you want, baby.” 

“You on your knees?” You raise an eyebrow.

“I am a changed man.” 

“Fuck you, Kim Taehyung.” 

“By all means, ________, please.” Rolling your eyes at your two-timing ex, you continue packing up, making sure you won't forget anything else on the desk. Funny how he can even extract innuendos from your display of hatred. At this point, Taehyung had already rounded the table and is now standing beside you.

You figure he’s fiddling with the projector (for all you care), that is, until you feel his warm breath fanning against your nape. His close proximity instantly gives you a chill and before you can turn to face him, he already has you trapped between his body and the podium. 

Taehyung can't hide the smirk that graces his lips when he sees you gulp. Fueled by your reaction, he proceeds to reach for the clicker by the opposite end of the desk, bending you a little bit forward, all the while pressing his erection against your ass. 

When he feels you hold your breath in, it only spurs him on, slowly grinding against you. “T-Tae…” you whisper out brokenly, weakly pushing away his firm hold on your waist. “You’re not…” All coherent thoughts get drained from your head when he takes your breasts in his hands, kneading them gently through your shirt,  “...s-supposed to do….” 

The door opens all of a sudden and the janitor enters, holding a plastic roll in his hands. Taehyung abruptly takes his hands off you, placing them inside his pockets instead. Thankfully, the janitor only takes notice of you and Taehyung’s presence after checking the trash bin by the last row and not when the latter had his hands all over you. “Oh, sorry Doc! I thought everybody had left already. I’ll just come back later.” Bowing once in your direction, he leaves quickly just as he had arrived. 

As you turn around to confront Taehyung about his brazen behavior, he’s already there, suddenly connecting his lips with yours. Nearly loosing your footing at the unexpected action, Taehyung instinctively places his hands on your back, pushing you further towards him. You place your palms against his chest, not wanting to get scandalized by making out with a guest. “Taehyung…”

The blonde-haired man pulls away from the kiss, only to attach his lips on that certain spot on your neck that ultimately gets you weak in the knees. ‘Does he remember?’ You think, mind getting hazy over the feeling of his pliant mouth on your skin after all these years. Then again, your mind betrays you with the vivid image of him fucking your friend in your very room – inside the same apartment you shared with that friend he cheated on you with.

Your judgment gets clouded once more as he fumbles with your shirt, unbuttoning the first one – enough to leave a hickey just above the valley of your breast. Taking your bottom lip between your teeth to hold in the moan the threatens to escape your mouth, your fist tightens around the fabric of his collar.

Sliding the swiveling chair from underneath, Taehyung pushes you down onto the cushion of the seat. As he kneels to the ground, your heart beats rapidly in your chest, the anticipation causing to form a few beads of sweat by your hairline. Pleasure shoots through your core as he hikes your skirt up, rubbing his hands all over your thighs.

Having him touch you like this after so many years ignited that fire inside you once more, the almost foreign feeling ultimately driving you close to madness.

Fuck, you missed this. Not him. Not Taehyung. Whatever thing this was with Taehyung that was so deliriously enticing: this magnetizing aura that drew everyone to him without him having to even try. Unfortunately for you, it had also drawn unwanted attention from perpetually thirsty women. You missed these feverish kisses, featherlight touches that sent electricity pulsing through your veins.

You repeat the phrase in your head like a fervent prayer. You miss the idea of this Taehyung, the Taehyung that ravished you on a regular basis, like you were the irresistible flame to the metaphorical moth that was him.

“Tell me to stop, baby, and I will,” Taehyung rasps, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. 

“No panties? Still my naughty little slut I see,” Taehyung remarks, as he sees your naked core. It’s shameful how you’re embarrassingly wet within a short period of time, but you no longer put much thought on it, especially with a handsome man like Taehyung on his knees for you.

With dilated pupils, Taehyung looks up and you knew you had both reminisced the time this same scenario happened in his office at DMC. The infamous surgeon draws you out of your reverie as he plants kisses along the expanse of your thigh.

Urgently wanting to fully express his intentions, Taehyung wastes no time, bunching up your skirt by your hips and diving in to flatten his tongue against your wet core. You gasp at the contact and you practically feel him smile at your responsiveness.

Taehyung starts with a slow pace, letting his tongue swirl all over your cunt. “Oh!” you breath out when he flicks your nether bud with his tongue. Taehyung keeps your legs apart with left hand while he dips a finger between your folds with the other. As you shudder at the sensation, Taehyung continues his ministrations, pushing his finger in, reveling in the way your walls clench around his digit.

“You’re still so tight after all these years,” the man says, diving in once more as he familiarizes himself once more of your addictive essence, licking and sucking at your core for all its worth like it’s his last day on the planet.

Just as you were about to climax, three knocks on the door resonate throughout the empty room, and as you push your thighs together and signaling Taehyung to keep quiet underneath the table, the door opens one more time and the chairman’s head pokes through the side, eyes scanning the room to look for you. Fixing your appearance discreetly, you put on a smile on your face, ignoring the frustration that came with not being able to orgasm properly.

“Wanna go grab lunch with me, sweetheart?” 

“Sure. I’ll be out in a few, babe. Just… gotta go through some emails,” comes your breathless answer. “Okay darling. I’ll be waiting for you by my office.” When you feel Taehyung’s fingers start to dance back up along your legs, you swat them away, the realization of your unfaithful acts finally dawning on you. 

“Stop it Taehyung and get up from there,” you tell him, pulling down your silk skirt that’s shamelessly bunched up around your hips. As you tame the creases on your skirt, the light above you hits the rock on your fourth finger. The gleam hits your eyes perfectly, the diamond on your engagement ring seemingly mocking you of your infidelity. 

For the sake of your sanity, you don’t say another word to Taehyung who also had his eyes trained on your ring. Quickly you grab your things off the desk, not sparing your dejected ex-boyfriend a look. As you reach the door, you rest your head on the hard plastic, “I’m happy now, Taehyung. Please respect that.” With a sigh, you open the door, not daring to take a look back. 

Taehyung nods silently, looking away from your figure as a tear rolls down his cheek, regret and longingness weighing on him heavily.

[gothamdad]

THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS PART ONE: CINEMATIC WRONGS AND ANALYSIS COMMENTARY

DO NOT REBLOG.

This is going to be a bullet point list of incidents that occur in the movie, and will either have my general commentary or an analysis of what makes the scene terrible (or in some rare cases, good). TRIGGERS FOR SUICIDE, MENTAL HEALTH, AND DYSMORPHIA 

-bruce trying to kill himself in the beginning of the movie. 

Hes reckless, and willing to risk his life, but not suicidal. But he just purposefully gets into a wreck at 2 minutes into the movie?? for no reason??? theres literally no reason for it other than it being angsty bc they COULDVE started the movie with the mutants doing crime, as the next scene cuts right into it and the following news reports 

-"This reporter hopes that wherever he is, hes enjoying a toast with good friends" said when its the anniversary of batman’s disappearance 

this is stupid I hate this movie. You're telling me Gotham forgives Batman for just disappearing on them? DID THAT NOT HAPPEN IN NML AND EVERYONE GOT PISSED??? Like everyone in this movie seems to have forgot he abandoned the city. Not to mention, and I'm gonna go off on a tangent here, bruce will be batman for as long as he lives. He calls himself batman in his mind even when hes retired. He believes that Bruce wayne is the mask. His whole identity is batman. Saying that hed quit because of jason is not only stupid because it implies Jason's death isnt just as important as his parents, but shows that any tragedy is enough to permanently knock him down. And as if the league, or the family, would have let him give up. Anyway the whole reason the retirement in batman beyond works is because it shows bruce was going to fight until he literally died on the spot, but instead he pointed a gun, didn't even use it, just pointed it, and he realized he wasnt fit to HONOR batman anymore. He broke the rule. And he doesnt deserve to wear the mantle. This is so good because 1) bruce still wants to be batman and 2) it doesnt imply that he gave up at all, and at this point with his decreasing wellness his family WOULD be telling him to stop

-Gordon toasts with Bruce on the anniversary

FBKSBSOANSISSB OH MY GOD IT JUST SHOWED HIM SHARING A TOAST WITH GORDON. this is the anniversary of the last time batman is sighted and gordon. JIM FUCKING GORDON. Is celebrating. When they were literally partners and hed shine the batsignal each night TELL ME WHERE THE LOGIC IS!!! I CANT FIND THE LOGIC!!!!! I'm literally 3 minutes into this movie..... and already this is how its going...

-Gordon and Bruce talk

"You're not worried about me, are you?" Asked when hes in clear danger of being attacked by mutants "noT MorE tHAn i aM tHe ReST oF tHis CItY" ah yes. I forgot that Bruce hated gotham and jim Gordon. My mistake. Common misconception.

-the mutants are introduced

Ugh and it's the worst kind of villains too, jim just described the mutants as "the worst kind of criminals. They are only after violence, with no humanity at all" GIVE! VILLAINS! REASONING! I hate these joker wannabes Joker was already enough we dont need a million more "lol I'm just evil deal with it" villains

"Talk to Dick lately?"asks Gordon "You know I havent" Bruce responds

THIS CONVERSATION IS GETTING W O R S E BC I KNOW HOW THIS MOVIE GOES AND HE JUST INSTANTLY HAS CARRIE BE THE NEW ROBIN- WHICH, IS N O T BRUCE'S TO GIVE. ITS ALWAYS BEEN DICK'S MANTLE TO PASS DOWN- WHEN HE HASNT BEEN SPEAKING TO DICK????

-tangent on how it’s overlooked that Dick Grayson was the one to make Robin, not Batman

This is a sin that not just the movie, but the batman franchise in general seems to always make. Robin was made as a tribute to the flying graysons, and is meant to be colorful and aerodynamic for acrobatic tricks. it should always be dick’s to pass down, or the next robin after. 

-Bruce begins having trouble with holding back his urge to be Batman

His whole wanting to be batman again thing started because of a newspaper with a family's death and pearls being sold. On the same front cover. I'm. THATS WHEN HE REMEMBERS HIS PARENTS? NOT EVERY FUCKING TIME HE HEARS A GUNSHOT? OR CLOSES HIS EYES? OR SEES BLOOD? HE READS A NEWSPAPER THATS FLOATING IN THE WIND??????NOT EVERY TIME HE LOOKS AT JASONS COSTUME? OR THE OTHER CRIMES COMMITTED??????LOGIC!!!!!!!!!! I NEED !!!! TO KNOW!!!!! WHERE IT IS!!!!!!!! ARE U KIDDING ME NOW THE MARK OF ZORRO, WHICH IS WHO THE FUCK KNOWS HOW OLD NOW, IS ON TV??????????? AND HE JUST HAPPENS TO FLIP TO THE CHANNEL.. Batman telling bruce "you've tried to hold me back. But you're weak. Ypu know it in your soul. You're nothing but a hollow shell." Is so STUPID!! WHY HAS HE BEEN FIGHTING BEING BATMAN!!!!!!!!!! BRUCE SHOULD WANT TO BE BATMAN!!!! AND HATE HAVING TO NOT BE!!!! AND A BAT FLYING INTO HIS WINDOW AGAIN???? STOP THE FUCKING CLICHES IM SICK OF THIS . UR NOT BEING NEXT LEVEL, MOVIE. ITS JUST DUMB. ITS DUMB!!!

-Carrie Kelly

her first ??? Appearance??? Is her going into KNOWN MUTANT GANG TERRITORY instead of going through the rain. And scolding her friend for not having backbone WHEN THEY COULD LITERALLY DIE and saying, and I quote, "its better than out there." then when interviewed about the incident her friend says  "It was a flying monster! With wings and fangs!" and she replies with "Reality check, Michelle, it was definitely a man, but he had to be like 12 feet tall" OH YEAH THATS VERY REALISTIC CARRIE. Shes an asshole to her friend and we're supposed to like her.  Oh and Carrie's reason for wanting to be robin? She saw the bat signal while her parents were talking about public marches. That's it. That's her reason. Not because she was attacked by mutants and almost died.

-Giving the movie credit

Okay but if theres another thing I'll give credit for, and I'm sure its unintentional, is that Harvey is the first criminal he wants to take down. Because Harvey is always going to be Bruce's priority. He didnt go after the mutants, but Two-Face. And the way that confrontation goes when it’s revealed harvey thinks both sides of his face are scarred. the Arkham staff fixed his scars before he was ready for treatment, and his mental health wasn’t priority. he was going to have dysmorphia either way, but not treating mental illness worsened it.  kinda? good writing? But I think it was unintentional to have the idea that Arkham didnt know what they were doing and the belief that scars are important before trauma, and how trauma has to be helped first. I dont believe for an instant that's what's meant. 

-Carrie Kelly part two

She gets a Robin costume and goes out onto the roof and is like.... almost dies. THEN THE NEXT SCENE WE SEE HER SHES LIKE COMPLETELY ACROBATIC? WHY IS SHE SO ACROBATIC NOW!!! THIS TAKES PRACTICE!!!

-Batman confronting the man who supplied the mutant gang with guns

Oh, this scene...He hands a guy a gun, knowing full well that he was depressed because his wife was dying and he had to make more money to save her by supplying the mutants with weapons, and just walks away as he kills himself. (input from a friend which i like:  think about everything bruce did to help mr freeze and his wife now think about this scene )

Batman vs Mutants 

oh, and the "batmobile". Aka his tank. Rubber bullets. Ok fine, whatever, but RUNNING THEM OVER AND SHOOTING MISSCLES ISNT LETHAL? AND HOW IS CARRIE KELLY GOOD AT FIGHTING ALL OF THEM WHEN SHE COULDNT HANDLE HERSELF WITH ONE LIKE A WEEK AGO.  hate that the mutant leader is just a ripoff of bane with long pointed nipples I hate this. I hate that batman cant take him down, but carrie kelly can. AND THE MUTANT LEADRER TOTALLY DIED WHEN BRUCE THREW ADHESIVE ON HIS FACE AND HE WAS SUFFOCATED BUT LATER ON IT SHOWS HE LIVES ??

Bruce talks to Carrie 

"What is this thing?" -carrie "Dick called it the batmobile" -bruce "SIR!!" -alfred over the radio There are no words. Then she pops his arm into place and creates a makeshift cast And he says "where'd you learn to do that?” and because she’s a mary sue she says nothing, because miller doesnt know why she should, so he cuts to "what's your name?" and she says "Carrie. Carrie Kelly. robin" and HE FUCKING GOES "MINES BRUCE." and then immediately tells Alfred hes bringing "robin" to the cave. I hate it here I hate that he forgets what happened to Jason aFTER ITS HIS LITERAL REASON FOR QUITTING. WHAT IS THE POINT IF HE’S GOING TO ACCEPT THIS GIRL HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW AS ROBIN?

-Bruce talks about Jason

OH BRUCE'S FUCKING LINE. HIS LINE. IM FURIOUS Alfred asks "have you forgotten what happened to Jason?" And he says "I'll never forget. he was a good soldier. He honored me" I AM !!!! SHAKING!!!! WITH HOW MAD !!!! I AM!!! Bruce would NOT say that shit. Implying that jason wasnt his son, or that jason was only a casualty in a war, or that HE FUCKING HONORED HIM AND NOT THE CITY, OR THE TITLE OF ROBIN "He honored me" shut the fuck up I hate this and dont even get me started on the misconceptions of Robin in the first place. i dont want to go into the debate on whether or not they’re soldiers, which I personally don’t believe. but its just stupid because Jason considered being Robin the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and he was THE BEST. it wasnt his fault he was killed, either. 

-The ending

So the mutant escapes his cell by going through a VENT. A . V E N T. AND ENDS UP IN THE SEWER. I hate that these mutants are just an army of evil people and have no motivation and the leader is just a brute I fucking hate Bruce calling him "son" And the mutants become the sons of batman who fight crime......??? because their leader is gone?? werent they supposed to be evil criminals with no humanity in them?

-Joker

Okay but Joker being absent the entire first part , only to show up in the end hearing news reports about batman, and then smiling as he stands up and just fucking creepily says "darling" holy shit that gave me goosebumps. another credit i have to give. 

[vintagebandpics]

Hi people haven’t posted on this blog since sometime in 2017 probably. This is mostly due to my own laziness and growing out of having my life revolve around the people on this blog but I finally got logged on with my desktop so I feel like I can make a proper post! so in celebration I’m just gonna go ahead and make an update on all the regulars on this blog and see what they’re doing (spoiler: not much)

Brendon! at the Disco

2018 has probably been the most successful year that Panic! at the Disco has seen. Panic!, of course, being mostly Brendon. This year they lost two members, Dallon and Kenneth, Dallon leaving to focus on his new band, IDK and Kenneth for….. other reasons. (Trigger warning on that link.) On the lighter side of things, they released the album Pray For the Wicked, which debuted at #1 on the Billboards 200 albums charts. proud of them honestly....

Brendon has also gone on to regularly do twitch streams of him playing Fortnite, appeared as a guest judge on The Voice, and polluting Snapchat with ads of him speaking up about his friends at State Farm. At least he’s making money. Getting bread. Or whatever.

Pete Wentz (and crew)

In January of this year, Fall Out Boy released Mania which also debuted at number 1, their fourth record to do so. It was also nominated for a grammy (though they lost to Greta Van Fleet, a band almost universally regarded as god-awful). they haven’t done much this year aside from announcing a few festival shows, and have been featured on a posthumously released track from Lil Peep. pete himself has been (suspiciously) quiet, but has been posting tweets about butterflies recently. I dont know what that means. are fall out boy soon going full mariah? one can only hope

Paramore

my forever favorite person in the world, aka Hayley Williams has been taking an extended social media break for her mental health, or something, only occasionally appearing to promote her hair dye brand Good Dye Young, which recently began selling in some Sally’s Beauty stores and even Sephora. she also recently appeared on stage with Kacey Musgraves to sing Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. it was so good. i miss her a lot but its fine. taylor is still silent as ever. he literally has two tweets on his account. zac stays promoting his solo side project HALFNOISE (which is actually pretty great.) paramore as a unit hasnt done anything in months. i kinda feel like they wont release another record WHICH I HOPE ISNT TRUE but after all the shit that went down during the production of after laughter...... whom knows.

William Beckett

will was accused of abuse by his wife and he said she was the one to abuse him. kinda went silent everywhere ever since, and no one really knows what happened. rip

Gabe Saporta and Squad 

after the end of Cobra in 2015, gabe went on to co-found his own company with mike carden managing artists. billboard recently did a really great and eye opening profile on him. he has went on record to say a cobra reunion is the last thing on his mind. vicky t has a solo career and recently released a music video. ill let you draw your own opinion on it.

Ryan Ross

back on his bullshit. he did recently have a song with z-berg and in the video he had THE WORST insta e-boy type earring. and so many rings. hes the worst type of LA boy. he hasnt done anything since but did tell alt press that he was planning on writing and recording music in 2019. (i dont really want to link alt press. just take my word for it.) anyway, we’ll see if thats true. we’ve been lied to before.

My Chemical Romance

dead. will stay dead. stop making up rumors about their comeback. stop sending them to me. theyre dead and ITS FINE!!!!!! anyway. gerard most recently has had mad success when netflix adapted his comic series the umbrella academy. frank has a new record coming out in may. ray is a Dad. mikey is about to have another baby. i didnt have the energy to look into their 300 previous drummers for their updates. im sorry. 

that concludes our journey. it unfortunately wasn’t that interesting, but thats why we stay focused on pre-2010 bandom. thanks for continuing to love this blog even as it sits unupdated for literally years at a time. i dont know what im going to do with it but im glad yall continue to love it ❣️

[8147]

reading hamlet for the first time (act 5: the finale)

masterlist

none of you told me it was going to be this painful . none of you.

a5s1

“Ophelia’s dead.” “Enter CLOWNS!”

Like im sure this has a different meaning in EMA but im gonna make fun of it because it’s fucking hilarious. (future (present? (now past once more (?))) antares coming back to say i did look at nfs and yeah theyre gravediggers)

“First Clown: What is he that builds stronger than either the mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter? Second Clown: The gallows-maker; for that frame outlives a thousand tenants.” damn not even just this one quote but these are some depressing clowns

hamlet and horatio!

okay there’s something about all of hamlet’s skull talk that makes me uneasy. like, not even the topic, just something in the words and how earnestly and (pardon my pun) gravely hamlet’s speaking about this. and it’s almost a mournful tune, too. it’s a huge difference from his “we’ll all be eaten by the same worms” speech to the point that it’s almost haunting.

“HAMLET: I will speak to this fellow.” C O N F R O N T

“HAMLET: I think it be thine, indeed; for thou liest in't.” (incomprehensible scribbling)

HAMLET, NOT IN ENGLAND: oh yeah lol he was sent to england huh u know why lmao

wait. did the. did the pirate situation get resolved. before act V.

I mean i think hamlet mentioned something about three years but the pirates are so fucking glossed over like what the fuck

“First Clown: 'Twill, a not be seen in him there; there the men are as mad as he.” HOLY SHIT ROAST THEM JFC

“HAMLET: Let me see. (Takes the skull)” THIS IS THE SKULL SCENE! I fucking KNEW it was bullshit that holding the skull was in the to be/not to be speech. I saw it being presented as such like once or twice while reading and I KNEW IT

hm okay so hamlet picks up this guys skull, of someone he used to know, and sure maybe i could ignore the “those lips i have kissed” but then he goes on to mention alexander the great and i mean come on

but jesus like i feel like im not doing justice to the stuff hamlet’s saying. just, the gravity of it all. Its kinda hitting home a bit hard bc like ive had a crippling fear of what happens after death and being forgotten etc since i was like in fourth grade and this is @ing that phobia

like, with that julius ceasar thing. “O that that earth which kept the world in awe / should patch a wall to expel the winter flaw,” it’s so strange. like, every fucking human who has lived, whether they be emperors, murderers, inventors, peasants, or philanthropists- as long as they weren’t blind, they’ve all looked at the same sky. like. It doesnt matter what the fuck you did or didn’t. It’s wild.

“First Priest: No more be done: We should profane the service of the dead To sing a requiem and such rest to her As to peace-parted souls.” hey i get that there are cultural taboos around suicide but like this guy’s a dick it isnt even clear if it was suicide, like, she was so fucking crazy she might not have even known she was, y’know, in a lake or w/e

laertes, dude, my guy. maybe jumping into a grave is cosmic foreshadowing for something you don’t want to happen to you. js.

“HAMLET: [Advancing] What is he whose grief Bears such an emphasis? whose phrase of sorrow Conjures the wandering stars, and makes them stand Like wonder-wounded hearers? This is I, Hamlet the Dane. (Leaps into the grave)” hamlet is NOT one to be out-extra’d (posting-antares here to say, wait, ‘whose phrase of sorrow conjures the stars? is this my aesthetic-speeches-summon-ghosts theory? probably not, but i havent mentioned it for a while)

“LAERTES: The devil take thy soul! (Grappling with him)” IN A FUCKING GRAVE. THEY ARE FIGHTING. IN A GRAVE.

all because hamlet doesn’t want to be out-extra’d. my god.

“QUEEN GERTRUDE: This is mere madness: And thus awhile the fit will work on him; Anon, as patient as the female dove, When that her golden couplets are disclosed, His silence will sit drooping.” Ah yes gertie just talk about the distraught and angry madman as if he isn’t there. that’ll diffuse the situation.

You know what? We still haven’t discussed the pirates.

a5s2

“HAMLET: So much for this, sir: now shall you see the other; You do remember all the circumstance?” If this isn’t gonna be about the pirates im gonna. scream.

“HAMLET: My fears forgetting manners, to unseal Their grand commission; where I found, Horatio,-- O royal knavery!--an exact command, Larded with many several sorts of reasons Importing Denmark's health and England's too, With, ho! such bugs and goblins in my life, That, on the supervise, no leisure bated, No, not to stay the grinding of the axe, My head should be struck off.” god, though. imagine that. being exiled to another country by the person who killed your father, only to find out that they were going to have you killed, anyways. that’s fucking terrifying. jesus christ.

Damn this idea that pretty handwriting is ~beneath~ nobles confuses me so fucking much. I got called haughty once just because my main handwriting is cursive. I mean, they were right, but their evidence was circumstantial at best.

“HAMLET: That, on the view and knowing of these contents, Without debatement further, more or less, He should the bearers put to sudden death, Not shriving-time allow'd.” Hamlet’s Revenge. 

but also, what the fuck, dude. two wrongs dont make a right.

damn i kinda lost myself while reading but it really doesn’t sound like hamlet’s insane anymore. Like he’s… tempered himself. he doesn’t feel insane, just solemn.

“OSRIC: Your lordship is right welcome back to Denmark. HAMLET: I humbly thank you, sir. Dost know this water-fly?” goddamn ROAST HIM HAMLET (also what a fucking mood)

Osric put on your fucking ha--

The wind is

The wind is northerly

“HAMLET: No, believe me, 'tis very cold; the wind is northerly.” I remember someone saying that this is important

Okay here: “HAMLET: I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.”

oh no

Osric just wear ur fucking hat u doof

“OSRIC: Exceedingly, my lord; it is very sultry,--as 'twere,--I cannot tell how. But, my lord, his majesty bade me signify to you that he has laid a great wager on your head: sir, this is the matter,-- HAMLET: I beseech you, remember-- (HAMLET moves him to put on his hat)” excuse me a WAGER

but alas all hamlet cares about is osric’s fucking hat

“HAMLET: What's his weapon? OSRIC: Rapier and dagger. HAMLET: That's two of his weapons: but, well.” hamlet u sarcastic little shit i love you

I mean so is horatio. I love him too.

This stuff with the competition is. not gonna end well. not at well.

“HAMLET: I do not think so: since he went into France, I have been in continual practise: I shall win at the odds. But thou wouldst not think how ill all's here about my heart: but it is no matter.”

hamlet no. listen to your heart or whatever. jesus christ don’t do it.

“HORATIO: Nay, good my lord,--” HAMLET LISTEN TO HORATIO

Ohhh hamlet

okay reading what laertes said, you know what? i’m giving laertes one last chance. please do not prove me a fool, laertes. 

everything is giving me mad anxiety. e v e r y t h i n g.

claud’s speech is insanely sketchy

“KING CLAUDIUS: [Aside] It is the poison'd cup: it is too late.” One, so that’s why it was sketchy. Two, the POISONED CUP?

IT’S TOO LATE?

Gertie’s. Dead.

Shit, shit, shit

“LAERTES: [Aside] And yet 'tis almost 'gainst my conscience.” YES! SO PLEASE! STOP FIGHTING!

“LAERTES wounds HAMLET; then in scuffling, they change rapiers, and HAMLET wounds LAERTES.” Oh no oh no oh jeez eheu they’re hurting each other, shit, fuck,

“LAERTES: ...woodcock…”

“KING CLAUDIUS: She swounds to see them bleed. QUEEN GERTRUDE: No, no, the drink, the drink,--O my dear Hamlet,-- The drink, the drink! I am poison'd. (Dies)” one, i love how claud is desperatley trying to stick to the plan, its almost adorable in a childish sort of way. two, oh god. ohhh god. gertie. 

Oh no. 

this is the bloodbath. THIS IS THE BLOODBATH.

BODY COUNT: 1

“HAMLET: The point!--envenom'd too! Then, venom, to thy work. (Stabs KING CLAUDIUS)” ...

BODY COUNT: 2

wait and hamlet’s on death row, as with laertes. Oh no.

“LAERTES: He is justly served; It is a poison temper'd by himself. Exchange forgiveness with me, noble Hamlet: Mine and my father's death come not upon thee, Nor thine on me. (Dies)’ oh my god already??? I haven’t even really accepted king claud’s death?? jesus christ??

My friend just sorta nudged me and asked if i was alright and i. I’m not. i’m in shock. goddamn. what?

BODY COUNT: 3

goodness thats three in like less than thirty seconds JESUS CHRIST

“HAMLET: Heaven make thee free of it! I follow thee.I am dead, Horatio.” that’s chilling. just, the poignancy. that’s so fucking spectral. i’m not okay.

“HORATIO: Never believe it: I am more an antique Roman than a Dane: Here's yet some liquor left.” No no no on no nononon NO NO oh my god are you going to-

“HAMLET: As thou'rt a man, Give me the cup: let go; by heaven, I'll have't. … If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart Absent thee from felicity awhile, And in this harsh world draw thy breath in pain, To tell my story.” hey i’m crying in study hall. i’m actually crying. what the fuck. I don’t cry unless i’m thinking about that one pair of 18th century shoes with the really good photo quality (transcribing-antares here. I fucking love those shoes. I’m looking at them right now and they’re so fucking beautiful. they look how velvet feels, which is odd, bc they're apparently silk. I don’t care they’re just so fucking lovely)

F O R T I N B R A S?

“HAMLET: O, I die, Horatio; The potent poison quite o'er-crows my spirit.” I’ve identified my emotion. Dread. pure, unadulterated Dread.

for all of you that’ve listened to the penumbra podcast: do you remember the concierge, right before final resting place, saying “you do realize you can just like, leave, and everything will be hunky dory and you won’t have to deal with the emotional consequences this episode will bring you” because i’m seriously considering doing that right now.

“HAMLET: The rest is silence. (Dies)” shit. (posting-antares here to say that i forgot to do the body count but honestly im crying while formating because of this goddamn fucking 400 year old play)

“HORATIO: Now cracks a noble heart. Good night sweet prince…” oh god. horatio.

“Good night sweet prince…”

(yet again tis transcribing-antares here to say that im fucking sobbing right now, the shoes are no match for this, and ‘goodnight sweet prince’ is actually never going to leave my head.) (editing-antares here to say im fucking crying again god fucking damn it) (posting-antares back again saying that this fucking line. this line. my god.)

“HORATIO: What is it ye would see? If aught of woe or wonder, cease your search.” oh, horatio. god. that isn’t something said without tears staining your skin and a bitter tone hard-won, not that its possession is a victory.

oh my god. this can’t. no. this can’t end like this. What. no. people must have rioted. No. no!!

i typically hate it but i would GLADLY accept a deus ex machina right about now!!

okay my friend just took my phone away from me and shut it off because i kept on trying to scroll past the end

jesus christ

okay so i’m not going to be okay for like, several eternities, so im going to play the sims until i. until i die, probably. my god.

masterlist

[queenieships]

im not super familiar with your ships, soo... number 1 (things you said at 1 am) from the mini fic meme with the ship you're most favouring right now?

Hey anon uhh so like this took me forever to do simply for the fact that I ended up turning what was meant to be a minific into a 4 and a half thousand word fic :> SO UH YEAH ENJOY THAT. I’d really appreciate it if people could read and give some feedback, I’m going to put most of it under a readmore since it’s just so long!! Warning for talks on mental health, an abusive father and just insane amounts of romantic and sexual tension :3c

@smoochesforseven 

things you said at 1 am – Queenie and Davey

Black clouds swirled angrily, the moon a feint smudge of light against the Manhattan night sky. Rain tumbled from above, clattering loudly against the pavement and the rooftops, soaking anyone who dared roam the streets at such an ungodly hour.

Queenie was one of those daring people, shuffling as quickly as her bare and battered feet would take her. She’d never been out this late by herself, every noise frightened her to the core but she had come too far to turn back. Her hair was slick and plastered to her face, the delicate fabric of her nightgown soaked through and clinging to her body. Never had she felt so vulnerable, her feet were so bruised from running down the rough streets she wasn’t sure if they could carry her for much longer. She hated to think what would happen if the wrong person saw her, a soaked and vulnerable girl stumbling through the streets of lower Manhattan.

Queenie kept her arms wrapped around her middle, trying to keep herself warm – raindrops clung to her eyelashes, making it hard to see where she was. Her entire body ached, a cold, dull throbbing emitting through every limb. Water ran down her face, pooling over the curves of her lips and streaming down her chin. This was the craziest thing she had done and if not for the circumstances at home she would’ve regretted it – but standing there, thinking of her father’s face and how he feigned worry for her mental well-being, her feelings were only solidified. She had to be away from him, away from her home or Queenie didn’t know what she would do to herself. Her father’s comments were ringing through her ears and she reluctantly wondered if she truly was going mad.

She stopped for a moment and looked around, trying to recall the route they had taken on one occasion when Davey’s mother had invited some of the Newsies to their apartment for dinner. Though Queenie had gone with them she had never actually managed to step inside so even if her memory was good enough to get her there she had no clue which level they’d be on or which room would be his. She had been tempted to join them, wanting nothing more than to dine with her friends and be introduced to Davey’s family but a feeling of guilt had washed over her; she felt terrible intruding on his family and eating their food when they were struggling, especially as someone who had never known the strain of financial troubles.

She cursed her guilt for a moment before noticing a street sign that seemed far too familiar for it to be a coincidence. Her first steps were hesitant before she began almost jogging in the signs direction, her gut feeling telling her she was close. Surely enough, within minutes Queenie had stumbled upon the complex that she knew to be Davey’s home. It was a tenement, a series of very small apartments where families would be clustered together – those living here were certainly better off than kids like the Newsies but the living conditions still weren’t amazing, mostly from a hygienic standpoint. Each building looked almost the exact same, insanely tall with rows upon rows of tiny windows, some of which had washing lines strung up between them.

She could so easily identify Davey’s home because she remembered Race had put out multiple cigars on the outside walls and, whilst having to squint insanely hard due to the dark, she could see circular scorch marks on the wall and small clumps of ash. Queenie made her way to the back of the building, knowing there to be a fire escape that climbed up its length. Standing in front of the ladder she took a moment to remind herself how crazy this was, how she had no idea which floor or room would be Davey’s before gripping onto the slippery metal in front of her and beginning to climb, almost falling off once or twice with her feet struggling to support her weight against the pressure of metal bars. Queenie would get to a platform and peer through each window, hoping for some telltale sign or clue to let her know which room was the right one. She had climbed for multiple levels when she looked into a room that just felt right. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness by now and looking in she could see it was a small room with a desk, a set of drawers and a double bed that took up almost half the room. Her heart was thumping rapidly in her chest as her eyes set on a figure laying on the bed in a T position, legs dangling off the side with the back of their hands resting over their face. Queenie felt a pang in her heart, she knew it was him though small details in the back of her mind made her hesitate. Yes, this person seemed to be the correct height and build to be Davey but she also knew that he and his younger brother, Les, shared a room and yet the younger boy was no where to be seen.

Holding back her fear, Queenie rapped a knuckle against the glass, letting out a quiet gasp as the figure sharply sat upright. Their eyes met and her hand slowly dropped away from the window, feeling almost embarrassed. It was Davey. Despite her circumstances she couldn’t help but drink in the sight of him, vest and button-up removed leaving him in just his under-shirt and trousers which for reasons unknown was a look that made her heart flip. Confusion flashed across his face but it quickly changed to worry as he rushed over and pulled up the window, holding it open with one hand and leaning out of it slightly, face close to hers.

“What are you doin’ here?” He whispered, voice low but dripping with confusion. Queenie took a moment to respond, heart practically stopping now he was up close. Seeing him without his cap felt blasphemous, though his hair was dark and wavy and insanely cute to her. She could even see stubble forming across his jaw and she trailed her eyes downwards to get a better look of him in his state of undress, small curls of chest hair even poking out from the deep neckline of his under shirt. Truth be told, Queenie was reeling.

“I-I uh…” She stuttered dumbly, blinking rapidly in response to his attentive stare. Davey at first seemed like an awkward, withdrawn person but over time Queenie learnt how wrong that was – he could be passionate and angry, confident and intimidating at times and insanely intense – just like right now. His eyes bore into hers, waiting for her answer. “… Can I come in? It’s raining.”

Davey’s eyes widened instantly as he realised the situation and the weather outside. His thoughts were practically playing across his face – what was she doing here? Why was she sneaking up to his room in the middle of the night, especially a night as bad as that one?

“God, I’m sorry, of course! Get in here!” He pushed the window up further, gripping supportively onto her forearm as she climbed into the room, having some trouble with her balance not only because of her sore feet but also due to simply being soaked.

Once Davey had managed to help pull her in, he reached up and slid the window down, leaning over her slightly. He let out a breath once they were both standing there, just looking at one another. He wiped a hand down his face, trying to clear away his tiredness. “W-what are you doin’ here?” he repeated the question, waving his hand in gesture to his bedroom. His expression was tired, eyebrows crinkled together.

Queenie’s chest tightened for a moment, feeling guilty to trouble him and afraid that he was annoyed with her but a moment later a small smile played on his lips and his eyes, for the first time, fell from her face and took in the sight of her.

“Oh my gosh! Queenie, look at you!” One hand quickly flew up to cover his eyes, the other gesturing towards her torso. In one quick motion he turned his back to her and slapped the other hand over his face, adamant not to look at her.

“I know, Davey, I’m sorry but this wasn’t exactly a planned visit.” She spoke softly, almost cooing at his behaviour. His blushing face was obvious, even his ears and neck were slightly pink. He didn’t respond to her so Queenie tip toed over to him, gently placing a hand on his forearm, trying to peak up at him through his fingers. “David~?” she quietly sang his name, shaking his arm a little.

Davey widened the gap between his fingers, looking down at her with shocked eyes. “N-nope, no, I’m sorry.” He stuttered before closing the gaps again. “I can’t deal with this.” Still covering his eyes he walked away from her, blindly walking towards the set of drawers. Once there he crouched down, removing his hands from his face and began to rummage through clothing before pulling out a long, white button-up shirt. He held it in his hands for a few seconds before holding his arm out behind him, towards her.

“Just… put this on, please? You’ll catch a cold if you stay in that for long.” He said, his voice strained.

Queenie could tell from this tone of voice and his behaviour that that wasn’t the only reason he wanted her to change clothes – Her nightgown was made of thin, white material which had soaked through and clung relentlessly to her skin. If not for the fact that she had roamed the streets in the same state for God knows how long Queenie would be insanely embarrassed – plus Davey’s shyness was insanely cute to her, acting as a distraction from her own timidness.

She took the shirt from his hand, finding the material surprisingly soft. It hit her, the fact she was going to be wearing nothing but Davey’s shirt.  The thought excited her immensely, checking to see that he was facing the other way before turning her back on him, peeling the nightgown from her skin and shifting it over her head. She looked over her shoulder for a moment, feeling more vulnerable standing there naked, wondering if he was peaking – he wasn’t. He was shifting his weight from his heels to his toes, shoulders squared and tense.

Queenie bit her lip and smiled, quickly unbuttoning the shirt before slipping her arms into the sleeves, the feel of fresh, dry clothing setting her mind at ease. She buttoned the shirt back up again with precision, standing there and relishing in how amazing his shirt felt on her body. The sleeves were far too long, material going far past her fingertips, the length of the shirt reaching down to her knees. Her legs being bare was a little discomforting but whatever could be seen then could probably have been seen through the material of her nightgown anyway.

“Alright Davey, you can turn around now.” She spoke quietly, playing with the long sleeves, flapping them around at her sides.

He peeked over his shoulder, almost mimicking her from moments ago. Clearly he was being cautious after her teasing earlier. She heard him let out a heavy breath before he turned to face her, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. His eyes were wider than she’d ever seen them, flickering over the sight of her.

“… Are you alright?” Queenie said, running her hands down her hips and looking down at herself, checking to make sure she hadn’t missed a button.

Davey scoffed, running a hand through his hair and stopping at the crown of his head. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine – just not used to having pretty, half-naked girls in my room.” His arm fell down limply to his side, Davey letting out a huff. Clearly the situation was a little frustrating for him.

She smiled and squeaked quietly, cheeks growing warm. He thought she was pretty? The statement alone made her terrible day immensely better. Clearing her throat, Queenie tucked her bangs behind her ear. “I’m sorry, David. I didn’t mean to cause you trouble, it’s just… I had to get away from home and this is the first place I thought to go.” His demeanour changed almost immediately, back straightening and eyes sharpened. “What do you mean? Why’d you have to get away?” his voice was soft but stern, wanting to show support for her but from the way his jaw tensed she could tell something in what she said had angered him.

“I-I um-”

“Queenie, if he hurt you, I swear to God-” Davey stopped himself once he heard his own raised voice. It was the middle of the night and his family were sleeping, Queenie would die if any one of them were to see them together in such a questionable state.

She watched him for a moment, not sure what to say. Davey stood with his hands on his hips, face pensive as he frustratedly bit his bottom lip. Sighing, he shook his head and plopped down onto the corner of the bed, slumping forward and resting his elbows on his knees and his chin on his hands. He looked up at her, patting the space beside him.

Queenie could feel that the atmosphere had changed, her mouth suddenly feeling dry. Her legs felt heavy as she slowly lowered herself down next to him, hands in her lap as she switched between looking at him and at the floor.

Davey let out a sigh. “Now, I’m gonna repeat myself again. Did he hurt you?” he asked, his voice quiet. His hand was placed gently on the small of her back, something Queenie noticed he did often but never mentioned – it was his way of being present for her, showing that he had her back without saying anything and they both knew the other appreciated the slight touching without having said it.

“… He wanted to send me away.” She started, eyes flicking up to look him in the face. “He does this thing sometimes where the words he uses sound nice and supportive but it’s all lies – the way he says it… you know it’s a threat.” she sighed, clasping her hands together. “He said that I was struggling. He thought I was hysterical and crazy and that maybe he should send me away for my own good.” she said the last few words mockingly. “Do you know what they do to women in asylums? I hear they lock them up in cages with no food or water, they’re not cared for they’re treated like rabid dogs and that’s what my father wants for me – so to answer your question David, no, he didn’t physically hurt me – not this time.” By the end of her rant Queenie’s voice had darkened and her eyes were half-closed as her heart stung.

“Well, are you?” Davey asked, scooting a little closer to her to wrap his arm around her waist and give her a reassuring squeeze. “Crazy, I mean.” He smiled at her, eyes bright and eyebrows furrowed with worry. “Cuz if you are then I must be crazy too because… you make more sense to me than any person I have ever met.”

Queenie stared up into his eyes, taken aback. She choked out a bitter laugh, closing her eyes and pushing her hand on his chest. “Oh, shut up!” she giggled lowly, gripping onto his shirt.

Davey chuckled and placed his hand over hers and holding it tightly. “No, I mean it. I don’t think I’ve ever agreed with someone so much in my life – and for me? Agreeing with someone is a lot. All of your beliefs and the way you fight for them, it’s… it’s admirable and inspiring.” He exhaled deeply, looking down at their hands pressed together on his chest. “And I cannot lie to you. If I ever see you father face-to-face I will sock ‘im right in the jaw because I don’t know if I’ve ever hated a man more than I hate your father. He flat out is a villain and he treats you like you’re nothing and I am not about to stand for that.”

Her giggles subsided as he spoke, his words having so much feeling behind them – even Queenie, someone who struggled with immense self loathing, felt so important and… safe. She smiled, though her lower lip quivered slightly as her eyes began to water. Queenie leant forward, burying her face in the crook of Davey’s neck, her shoulders shook as she sobbed quietly, her free hand clutching onto his waist.  Immediately he moved his arm from her back, sliding it up to around her shoulders and pulling her further into him. “I’m sorry, my emotions are all over the place tonight.” She mumbled into his shoulder, trying to focus on his presence – they’d never touched like this before and Queenie couldn’t help but feel like her hopes were being met, all the times she’d thought of Davey holding her in his arms and there she sat, enveloped in him; granted she was weeping into his shoulder but there had to be a downside somewhere.

“It’s fine. It pains me to admit it but I’d probably be crying too if my father did that to me.” Davey absent-mindedly played with the kinks of her chin-length hair, hesitating for a moment before placing a soft kiss on her head.

Queenie laughed quietly again into his shoulder, squeezing his waist. She found his attempts at upholding his masculinity funny, especially since she believed his behaviour throughout the night had been pretty manly, if not a little boyish at times. Her cheeks were burning after his kiss, butterflies in her stomach. There was a warm throbbing in her chest and she couldn’t help but smile at everything he said, just his presence made her feel safe and cared for.

She pulled away from his shoulder, hand still clutched tightly to his chest. She looked at their hands clenched together for a moment and nodded lightly to herself, courage bubbling through her chest. Her eyes flickered up to his, giving him a small smile before leaning up and softly pressing her lips against his.

For a second she could think of nothing else but Davey, all the trauma of the evening falling out of her mind as it was instead filled with images of him, his voice and his eyes and how she could feel the warmth emitting from his face and…

… He wasn’t kissing back?

Queenie pulled away from him, retracting her hand from his grasp. Her chest felt heavy like an anchor was dragging down her heart. Dread was washing over her, eyes stinging. Her hands started to shake nervously, she had never cared for someone as strongly as she cared for Davey and so many of her positive feelings and emotions were invested in him, in pining for him – if he didn’t want her…

“I-I shouldn’t have done that.” She stuttered, voice cracking. He didn’t like her back, didn’t want to kiss her and he probably didn’t want her there at all, probably lied when he said she was pretty. “I’m so sorry, David, I-”

In an instant his lips were smothered against hers, his hands clasping the sides of her face, fingers tangling in her damp hair. The force of his kiss almost pushing her over and, frantically, she grabbed onto the material of his shirt and pulled him closer to her, heart feeling like it was ready to explode.

Breaking the kiss for barely a second, Queenie climbed over his legs, knees on either side of him as she sat up straight in his lap, for once being higher up than him. Their lips meshed together once again, Queenie this time clutching his face as Davey pulled her body flush against his, both arms wrapped around her tightly. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest, body tingling and warm. His fervorousness shocked her, though she had imagined kissing him so many times her fantasies had never managed to capture just how passionate he would be and how his kisses would make a knot form in her stomach.

Davey pulled back, eyes still closed, panting for breath. He was flushed, face warm under her touch. She ran her thumbs over his cheek bones, always taken aback by how handsome he was. From his brown eyes to his dark, tousled hair, from his hooked nose to his angular jaw. His tall, lean frame and long, pianist fingers fascinated her. His body language, his voice and not even to mention his personality, intelligent and witty, dominant and determined, surprisingly strong but caring in every way. When it came to David Jacobs her head and heart had never felt lighter and yet so full, thinking about him flustered her and impacted her capability to properly think and to have him there, blushing and panting underneath her? Queenie felt like the world was hers.

“I adore you, y’know that?” His eyes fluttered open, giving her a small grin. His hands were caressing her lower back, pinching the fabric of his white shirt between his fingers.

“Davey, stop it you’re going to make me cry again.” She laughed, using humour as she often did to hide the degree of her feelings. She was often embarrassed when it came to sweet moments like this, finding it difficult to say what she wanted.

Davey groaned and laid his head against her shoulder, kissing her neck. “I want you to be mine. I wanna protect you and care for you and fight for you – with you – and I just want to keep kissing you forever.” His words were breathy as he rushed them out. “I… I want you to be my girl.” his voice was so soft she would’ve struggled to hear it if not for him talking so close to her ear; his hand had found hers and their fingers interlocked.

Her lower lip quivered again but this time she didn’t laugh. She clenched her jaw as tears slid down her face, tickling her skin. Mimicking his actions from earlier, she buried her face in his hair for a moment before placing a kiss atop his head.

“I care about you so much, David. I don’t know if I want to bring you into my personal life, not with my family, not now. God knows what my father would do to you, or to me because I was with you. I-I don’t know.”

Davey raised his head slowly, brown eyes piercing hers defiantly. His mouth was open slightly, the bridge of his nose crinkling slightly as his features scrunched together in a baffled expression. The look in his eyes told her that he wanted to argue, to deny everything she said and to reassure her he could deal with it but he let the expression drop. He nodded his head slowly, kissing his teeth.

“Alright, well, an ‘I don’t know’ is better than a flat out refusal. You don’t have to give me a straight answer right away, you can sleep on it and take as much time as you want. You just gotta know that I care about you and I am willing to deal with your father if it means I can be with you.” He raised her hand up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles before patting her on the hip. “C’mon, you’re obviously not going home tonight and we should get some sleep.”

Her eyes were still watery but she gave him a fox-like smile. “You want me to stay the night, Davey~?”

He instantly scoffed and blushed at her words. “Hey! You are not allowed to get all flirtatious, not after kind of turning me down.” He gave her a smile, though she could tell he was dissatisfied.

She worked her way off of him, holding onto the bottom of the shirt to stop it riding up. At the same time Davey pulled himself out from underneath her, standing and stretching his long legs for a moment and letting out a sigh. The night had been crazy, full of developments and wild emotions and both of them were drained.

In one quick move, he reached back and pulled his under shirt off, over his head and onto the floor. He straightened out his shoulders and stretched his arms above his head, turning and watching her as she settled into his bed, pulling the covers up to her chin. “Was taking that off really necessary?” She asked, though she couldn’t keep her eyes off him, fascinated by his slim and pale body. Though she had always found him insanely attractive she couldn’t help but plan to bake him as many pies as he could eat, just to put a little more meat on his bones so his ribs and hips weren’t quite so defined. Their class difference would always be obvious, even down to a physical level. Her body was plump and soft whereas his was thin and harsh, simply down to the availability of food. On the outside, they couldn’t be more different and their outward contrast was something that Queenie found wonderful and it was one of the things that had initially attracted her to Davey.

He slid in next to her with a smile. “I just wanted to show you what you’d be missing out on if you turned me down.” He half-heartedly flexed an arm, clearly a little insecure in his own physique. Queenie let out a sympathetic ‘aww’, running her hand down his arm before grabbing his wrist and pulling it as she turned to lay on her side. Davey scooted closer and spooned her from behind, his arm around her waist like she wanted. He kissed her ear, the two quickly saying goodnight before settling down to sleep. It was insane, the boundaries they had both passed that night and how much closer they had grown. She felt comfortable with him, though his confession nipped at the back of her brain with an urgency.

Queenie could never deny her feelings for him, which is why she wanted the best for him and she just didn’t know if that was her.

[cicero-the-assassin]

Mun time!

Tagged by: @ask-cerus (What a doll tbh)

Copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in yours, when you are done tag up to ten people and also tag the person who tagged you.

A - Age: 21 B - Biggest fear: Failure C - Current time: 3:55a.m. D - Drink you last had: Chocolate milk E - Every day starts with: Me popping every joint and vertabrae I can. (Knuckles, wrists, ankles, jaw bone, some parts of my lower back.)  F - Favourite song: Nuuuhhhhhh. Most recent most played song has been Pumped up Kicks by Foster the People. But that’s mostly a song I listen to cause I’ve been writing Cicero ALOT. G - Ghosts are they real: Though I am terrified of the supernatural, I like to think so. I like to hope that there’s something after death. That this isn’t all there is to life. I hope death is only the beginning. I - In love with: Sweets I can eat. I: But I love my boyfriend too, even though he can be a pain in the ass sometimes. K - Killed someone: I almost did purposefully when I was younger, still technically no, I have not killed anyone. L - Last time you cried: Mmmm, last Saturday. My boyfriend and I had a small squabble and I’m a very emotional person.  M - Middle name: Meghann N - Number of siblings: 5 so far. 1 brother and 4 sisters. O - One wish: I would wish for a clean bill of health. I could take on the world. P - Person you last called/texted: Don’t have a cell phone, I guess the last person I messaged was my mother. (Facebook IM-ing counts right?) Q - Questions you are always asked: “What are you going to do with your life?” “IS THAT A CORGI ON YOUR SHIRT????” <--- I don’t know why this is always asked. Every time I wear my Cowboy Bebop shirt people just have to point out to me that they LOVE corgis. It’s a lil odd cause I get stopped in stores by strangers. But I thank them anyway, feels like a compliment. <3 R - Reasons to smile: Food, getting that perfect line of eyeliner on my eye, friends, laughing, sentimental video game moments S - Song last sang: Some Spanish song my boyfriend was listening to. I know the words, but not the title??? And it’s on a burnt disc so I don’t know what band it is either. I wanna say it was Mana, but I know for a fact it wasn’t! >n< T - Time you woke up:  11:30 p.m.ish, Today was a fucked up day. I slept for 20 hours. :\ U - Underwear colour: Black V - Vacation destination: Italy, Japan, New Orleans  W - Worst habit: It’s not really my fault, but my mental disorders, particularly my PTSD, sometimes make me take things oddly. Like the fight I recently had with the bf was because I felt like he was ignoring me. I HATE feeling ignored. It makes my PTSD act up due to lots of things in my past. Long story short, my mother wouldn’t speak to me for months when I lived in the same house as her. We were all being abused, but I was a kid, so I ended up becoming mad at her. Any time I’m ignored, my PTSD kinda pops up and makes me feel really mad and upset. I never realize that’s what it is till later. (Yes I apologized, we’re cool now.) X - X-Rays you’ve had: Abdominal; I mostly get lots of CAT scans and ultra sounds though. I’ve never broken a bone in my life. Y - Your favourite food: Anything sweet or filled with carbs or both. T^T I’m weeeaaaaaaaak Z- Zodiac sign:  Leo

Tagging: No one, hate bugging people! D’’’8

[jzogymti-blog]

Term Life Insurance vs. Permanent Life Insurance?

Term Life Insurance vs. Permanent Life Insurance?

Term Life Insurance vs. Permanent Life Insurance

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insure4car.xyz

SOURCES:

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[letters-iwillnevergiveyou]

New Years Eve Bulls7$*t

Dec. 31 2018

    So you did the unthinkable, the unimaginable. You actually left me on New Years Eve at home by myself. I knew there was a big possibility this would happen. You said you had business to take care of but after I asked you not to leave me alone on New Years you ended up telling me you were staying home because I couldn't go with you to take care of this business. I don't understand you. You always tell me that but then I find out you pick up D.J. and she goes all over with you. So you leave me home alone constantly and take someone else with you, all while telling me you are alone. And you wonder why I can't trust you. You also said you were alone yesterday and couldn't call me. Come to find out that too was a lie. D.J. was with you. You could have called me all along you just didn't.

    Anyway getting off track. Tonight. We go to the post office to send off records I'm selling. My dead husbands records I might add. To help us fund this trip to Belize. You didn't get tracking numbers, or a receipt. I'm totally screwed. All these people are expecting a product and by a certain time. I'm already a month late because of you. You couldn't go back in and get the numbers because they closed. Then you take me to get food. Finally. I told you I was hungry at 12. It was after 6 by this time. Then we go home. You took your apartment key off the ring so I could get inside, telling me you were going to finish hooking up your stereo. I stupidly listened and believed you. After I went inside you took off. The only reason I knew is because I was using your mobile hotspot and when it disconnected I looked outside and you were gone. Now here I am with no phone, my boyfriend ditched me, my car that you have been using while yours has been broke down is now broke down, and I'm fucked again. How can you not see how fucked up this is? I should have taken your car and left you here to sit a couple days with no phone, no transportation and no money. I bet you wouldn't like it. What is wrong with you? How can you treat any human being like this let alone someone you supposedly love? I don't understand. I keep thinking maybe you just went up the street to your buddys house. Maybe you just needed a minute away. Maybe you will make sure to be back before midnight and kiss me, bring in the new year with me, the woman you love and want to do life with. But honestly, you don't do life with me now. You lead a triple life. There is the life you have with me. The one where I am like this secret. You talk a little, have sex with me, then immediately take a shower and off you go. You either stay in the bathroom on the phone or getting high, or you leave. There is the life of the drug dealer. You hang out with your friends and get high. You drive all over the place and do favors for people if there is money or drugs in it for you. Then there is the nice sweet man you pretend to be to the rest of the world. The man you tried to trick me into thinking you were. The one who says the right stuff and pretends to care about you and what you have been through. The guy who anticipates your needs and is there for you when you need him. He is a good dad and just misunderstood. He doesn't exist. He only exists in the 16 dating apps he is signed up in. You know the ones you told me were a "hobby" that you would give up when I told you it hurt me for you to talk to other women that way. Yeah those. I wonder if Sandy ever even cheated on you or if it was you that cheated. I have her number I should find out. Oh who cares I guess. It doesn't matter. You have hurt me more emotionally than I have ever been hurt in my life. I read an article online about signs that you are emotionally abused. Check it out. It's eerily familiar....

10 Brutal Signs Your Man Is An Emotionally Abusive Jerk

By  Dr Annie Kaszina

How do you spot an emotional abuser? Most likely when a guy first comes a-wooing, he won’t be carrying his, “I’m an emotionally abusive man” placard. So how do you identify him before you get hurt?

Here are the tell tale signs that he is an emotionally abusive man:

1. He shows a lack of respect. Not all emotionally abusive men will show you a lack of respect from Day 1. Some will turn on the charm for a while — others won’t.  But how do they behave toward other people and speak about them? If your boyfriend is critical or contemptuous of other people, be very aware that you have a short shelf life before you become those other people.

2. He always tells incredible hard luck stories about his past. Every emotionally abuser worth his salt has a great hard luck story about his tough past — and, boy, does he tell it well. Telling you his hard luck story is a neat ploy. You only have to respond like the uber-caring, empathic, trusting person you are for him to know you are his perfect… prey.

3. You notice worrying back stories about women. Yep, he’s the one who’s suffered at the hands of women who didn’t understand nor appreciate him. He’s been let down, treated badly, exploited, and robbed blind by past wives and/or girlfriends. His bitterness about these predatory b**ches sends a clear message about how he wants you to behave: no demands, no expectations, just 100% commitment to healing his hurts.

4. He has a bad behavior — or three — that needs to be fixed. That could include drug taking, alcohol abuse, leering at women, tight-fistedness, or anger issues. He’s a little bit broken, but hey, your middle name is Ms. Fix-Him.

5. He’s domineering, and/or jealous, controlling and self-centered. You can tell yourself he’s just “being a man,” but the reality is that he is establishing a power (im)balance in the relationship. It works on the principle that he has the lion’s share of the power, and you get the lion’s share of responsibility.

6. He gets star billing in the relationship — with all that, that entails — while you get to play the bit parts. He gets most of the airplay, and the limelight, etc. as befits the star. It won’t be too long before he lets you know that your job is to keep his trailer nice and tidy.

7. He has a short fuse. “Slow to anger,” “quick to forgive and forget,” and willing to own up to his own mistakes, are NOT accurate descriptions of him.  He’s easily upset, he overreacts, and as he tells it, the problem was not of his making in the first place — so, he rarely has to get his head around the “S” word  (that’s “SORRY” to you and me). He may well be a “potty mouth.” He certainly doesn’t react in a measured, adult way when he feels peeved and aggrieved.

8. He’s not 100 percent reliable, consistent or predictable. “Something comes up” or he’s feeling too tired or he’s been really, really busy. Showing consideration for you, your wishes, and your feelings is not his top priority.

9. He doesn’t let you have boundaries. He asks inappropriate personal questions early on. He rushes you and the relationship. He sets himself up as the authority on every area of your life — including family, friends, your working life, and even your finances.

10. He sets off warning bells in your gut. There was that moment right at the start when, from somewhere deep inside you, there bubbled up the awareness: “YUK. This guy is bad news.” Sadly, that feeling didn’t come with a 20-page PDF report, a government health warning, or even banner headlines anywhere you looked. So what did you? You ignored that feeling. “Listen, if it can’t give me a chapter and verse, why should I pay attention to it? It’s making a lot less noise than he does. Besides, he might be my last chance at happiness, right?” Your intuition doesn’t obsess about the past, or worry about the future. It simply comes to the right conclusion in the present moment. Its predictions are far more clear-sighted than yours are.

If you want to keep yourself safe from emotionally abusive men, you have to learn how to spot them. Emotionally abusive partners create massive mental, emotional and financial havoc in their victims’ lives. This article is here to spare you heartache and disappointment. Don’t be too blind to see them.

.............................................................................Wow. All I can say is wow. So lets break it down.

1. Lack of respect. I don't think I have ever seen you show anyone respect except when you talk about Charlie. Which comes from abuse of your own as a child.

2. Tells hard luck stories. Oh my god I won't even go there. You have a poor woe is me story to excuse every bad behavior.

3. Worrying back stories about other women. Yep! Helloo! The most horrible stories about the women from your past.

4. Bad behavior. Do I even need to go there?

I'll use short answers. Lying, cheating, manipulating, drugs, etc. etc. etc.

5. Domineering and/or jealous controlling and self centered. 150% yes yes yes. You make it very clear you are the boss. All these rules for me that just don't apply to you.

6. Star billing in the relationship. Umm ya. It's all about you. Always is.

7. Easily upset, overreacts, doesn't take responsibility. You get mad at me when I simply tell you how I feel. Or how your actions hurt me. You never apologize. You don't ever take responsibility. It's always someone elses fault or my fault. You will do something fucked up to me and it somehow is my fault. Every fucking time.

8. Not 100% reliable consistent or predictable. This is you. I never know what you are going to do. Even when you try to do better it might only last a day, a week, a month maybe an hour even. Point is, I never know what you are going to do. And you don't show you care about my feelings or needs no matter how clear I relay them to you. I am last on your priority list if I'm there at all. i.e. TONIGHT FOR EXAMPLE

9. The first part of this one eh not so much but the part about you being the authority on every area of my life is spot on. You don't let me have boundaries. You will tell off my entire family if you don't agree with them and my relationship with them. I have ostracized my entire support system because of you. I had it pretty good. My mother in law and I had a great relationship, so did me and my mom and sister. Now I have no one but you. Thanks for that.

10. Sets off warning bells in my gut. Yes, you did. From the very beginning. There was just something always nagging at me telling me you were full of shit. Like how anytime you did something shitty and I would try to talk to you about it, before I could say anything you would distract me by telling me something I wanted to hear. In fact the night you told me you were falling in love with me was one of those times. I was mad at you and said we needed to talk. I was about to tell you whats what when you blurt out you're falling in love with me and that i intimidated you and you didn't know how to act around me. Very fucking smooth.

So there you have it. I am officially the victim of emotional abuse. I never thought I would ever again be in a position to be abused ever again. Yet here I am. The stupid part is that if you were truly remorseful and made an effort I would stay. I would try to make this work. But who am I kidding? You don't love me and I'm not sure you are even capable of loving anyone. J---n lives to love and look after J---n. Ugh I'm fucking done with this entry. Worst New Years Eve I have ever fucking had. If you loved me you would want to be with me.