#im so unsocial jesus fuck

[cantsaythetword]

My gf is sitting 2 people away from me at a 20 person dinner party

I've never felt more like a lost introvert at a party than right now 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️

[intheshadowsbehindyou]

Mercs x gn reader who’s blind? They’re not a fighter or something but they help around keeping the base in check or something, they have really good hearing.

Can tell the guys apart from their footsteps, even catching Spy off guard when they noticed him sneaking about.

One thing they want to familiarize with the Mercs are their face shapes. They may not see them with their eyes but they picture them to match their voices. GN Reader adores being around these noisy men.

TF2 Mercs with a blind reader (Most notably Spy..)

Warning: Brainless imbeciles

EDIT: I MISREAD THIS ASK IM SORRY THE BLIND READER IS A MERC AAAAAAA

Scout:

-He is wracked at first with the misinformation surrounding blindness. At first, he thinks your world is completely dark. Night-time type of darkness and you have no ways of seeing his shape whatsoever. Which might be half true for some of you, but imagine his awe when you look directly at him after being spoken to. You could hear this idiot nagging from a mile away.

- “Wait, so do you know i’m white?” “I’m blind, Scout. Not stupid.”

- He’s clearly been unsocialized to those with vision impairment. It shows in his borderline stupid behavior. Waves his bat in front of your face and then winces when you angrily grab it and yank it away from him. Thats when he discovers that blind people typically don’t enjoy that. Gee, you learn something new everyday!

- Runs really fast by you on the battlefield and your face follows the exact direction from where he came from to where he was going. He saw this for a split second and needless to say, he envies your heightened hearing. You had a mildly interested expression the entire time. As if trying to discern if that was an enemy scout or not. Hmm, no. It’s definitely your scout. Nobody else uses that pretentious ass expensive cologne from tuefort’s strip mall. You wanted to gag.

- You could hear him easier than any other merc. His footsteps were simply too evident and easy to identify due to the rhythmic fast-pace. Like an annoying fly buzzing past your ear. (In all honesty, you’re not too far off.) Scout gave himself away way too easily and it concerned you a bit.

——————————————————————-

Soldier:

- “LOOK ME IN THE EYES WHEN I’M SPEAKING TO YOU, ROOKIE!” Soldier says confidently. You glare and say “Well I’d do that if I could see where your fucking eyes are.” aaaaand cue soldier’s immediate realization and instant guilt. These men seriously just speak out of their ass impulsively like babies.

- Bumps into you on accident in the hallway a few times and you certainly don’t need vision to know he opens his mouth in protest before immediately closing it and apologizing profusely for not being mindful enough toward your position. In fact this is beginning to happen a lot more than the other mercs for some reason.. The other ones EASILY move out of your way or make space politely. Yes, even Spy and Medic.

- You approach him one day; and you ask him if he might consider he has vision problems as well. Soldier quietly ponders the thought before audibly shrugging. You shake your head and ask him if he has any blurry vision, blind spots and whatnot. He mentions the top half of his eyes are pretty much dark. You blink for a second, then reach out to touch his head. Feeling something hard and metal.. You pull it off his head and he’s like “HOLY MOLY MARY MOTHER OF ROCKET JUMPING CHRIST! YOU FIXED MY BLINDNESS, PRIVATE! YOU MUST BE A DESCENDANT OF THE GOOD LORD JESUS!” Yes, it was his oversized helmet.

- You rub the bridge of your nose for a moment, utterly fucking tired and it’s not even ten yet.

——————————————————————

Demoman:

- SAME HAT! Sort of. Demoman is missing an eye, and his blind spot is annoying. You’ve both sort of unintentionally bonded over your poor eyes and after memorizing where his blind spot was, you make sure to walk up behind him in that exact area to startle him. Which usually results in both of you howling in laughter.

- You nervously ask demoman to be your eyes on the battlefield one day while anxiety is quite intense. Demoman shakes his head in irritation. “Ye do know I have horrible depth perception, everybody and der mother is movin at mach 10!?” and you respond “Great! We’re fucked.” You were indeed not fucked. Both of you managed to tough it out by ears alone. You make a great team and demoman is blessed to have you. You protect each other expertly.

- If you happen to have a white cane by any chance, prepare to do childish pretend sword battles with him during dinner time. Don’t worry, he’s using a broom. God knows that eyelander would actually try to kill you and everyone else in the room. Miss pauling is very displeased by your guys’ table manners.

————————————————————————

Engineer:

- You inspire him a bit. He was always a bit secretly doubtful of his own abilities after losing his hand in battle. It gave him a nagging insecurity that he’d fuck up in some way, or was no longer qualified due to his disability. You completely destroyed that insecure side of him. The way you effortlessly kill and complete your missions has made him feel better.

- You’re in his workshop one night, and you’ve memorized pretty much the entire layout of the room as this point. Minus maybe a few annoying bolts on the ground here and there that you dance over. You approach him and put your hands on his shoulder. Which he responds to by rubbing your left hand. “So uh, are you making some weird contraption that’ll fix my eyesight or something?” You ask as a joke.

- Engineer sounds offended by such a thing. “You don’t feel broken, do you? I’m not doing that.” He says sternly. “You’re not broken, Y/N. If you want I can make somethin’ partner but there’s nothing wrong with you and I don’t want you to feel that way. You’re no toy to be fixed so that everyone else is somehow comfortable! If ‘em boys are bothering you why I oughta—“

- You sigh in slight exasperation from the random dad rant but in the inside you’re thankful for his words. You hug him tightly in gratitude to shut him up and then feel a cold metal touch your arm. You look down, unable to discern the shape of the object. But it’s undoubtedly robotic-feeling. “Whats that?” You ask. Engineer pauses. Realizing he had taken his glove off. He realizes now’s a good time to remind you he’s on your side. He strokes you with his metal hand to soothe you. “Let’s just say we aren’t too different in some respects, sugar.” And his words is what makes you realize what it is.

- You drag the metal hand to your cheek and feel the cool claws against your skin. The thumb of the machinery rubs your chin.

————————————————————————-

Heavy:

- He figures out you’re blind right away and he genuinely doesn’t give a shit. He finds everybody equally annoying, like I said beforehand. You’ll notice as aforementioned he moves out of your way in the hallway however and aids you around the building whenever you ask him. He seems to care.

- He asks you how big he is from your perspective. You can answer that pretty confidently. The truth of the matter is that he’s the most recognizable due to his large body, rumbling voice, and massive footsteps. He nods and slightly smiles with reassurance. Good. Even those with eyesight problems know he’s dangerous. excellent. Just the way he likes it.

- Heavy fully trusts in your abilities and makes no attempts to help you in battle unless you ask. He’s seen you bash heads in one too many times without much thought and it’s safe to say they made a great call hiring you. Clearly you don’t let being blind affect your work whatsoever. In a weird sort of way, he feels oddly proud of you but won’t ever voice it outloud.

- You save him from a Spy and this causes a distant, disheveled look in his eyes as you run off and he stops whirling his gun. It isn’t often his kindness is rewarded like this. (Also now he’s wondering if he should ask Medic to give him supersonic hearing.)

———————————————————————-

Pyro:

- Pyro doesn’t realize you’re blind at all at first. It’s just not something they think much about when accessing new friends. His mind isn’t on scoping out their inherent “flaws” but rather scoping out how well you treat the others around you. Which is an odd thing for Pyro considering they’re quite content on vandalizing shit, disregarding people’s worldly positions and their feelings on it, and overall being an unforgiving nutcase who’d 100% bite off all the heads of their animal crackers and put them back in the box.

- Once they figure out you’re actually not here to cause damage, they seem to warm up fast. Pun intended. I think the moment they realize something’s wrong is when they silently point out a sniper around the corner with their pointer finger and you don’t even flinch. In their stead, Soldier audibly reminds you. This causes pyro to re-think how you might perceive some stuff.

- They begin to psychoanalyze you more out of habit. You seem to disregard a lot of certain visual stimuli in favor of sound. Without even asking you they figure out after a while that you’re blind and quickly adjust their behavior to better accommodate you. Instead of pointing at danger for example, they grab your hand and make you point at it… Which works, I mean. But he could just speak, y’know? It’s not like you can’t hear them better than anyone else over that gas mask.

- Pyro figures out how to convey signals to you without having to do the hard task of speaking. Two taps on your shoulder meant spy, one tap meant sentry around corner, and so on. Not only did this hide his intentions from the enemy team but helped you team up with them quickly.

————————————————————————

Sniper:

- Ugh.. Sniper is much like Scout in the sense that he has no clue how to respond to a blind person. He quickly assumes you’re inept at first and begins prioritizing your position on the battlefield more than anyone else. Shooting down key targets that get too close to you; or get in a quarrel with you. It’s flattering really but you can hold your own in a fight just fine. This is affecting your performance.

- You admittedly lose your mind and yell at him. But to be honest he had it coming with his stupid assumptions. Sniper doesn’t even complain nor move a muscle as you shout at him and storm off. He immediately feels regretful and tips his hat forward. Once again he’s lost another potential friend to his own behavior. “I was only trying to keep you alive.” He mutters to himself as he turns away. Unbeknownst to him, you heard it.

- Convinced, you sigh and walk back to him and run down the fact that you’re independent, and that you appreciated it but it’s important you complete things by yourself. Then you bitterly apologize for yelling at him. You could have swore you heard a soft “Sorry too…”

- This unexpected softness from a hard rough and tough guy like Sniper is what makes you reconsider him. He’s willing to fess up and apologize for having a bias. He just sucks at it. You forgive him hesitantly and you learn to not regret that later. Because he soon learns that you’re simply equal to all the other mercs and treats you as such.

———————————————————————-

Medic:

- Come on now, really? He already has his hands on your medical history the moment you walk through the door. He doesn’t skip a beat whenever idly scanning for things he should keep note of. Medic never even asks you if you’re blind. He simply acts as though he’s always known. Opening doors for you, directing you if you truly need it. Aggressively shoving the other mercs out of the way to make way for you so he doesn’t need to tend to BOTH your wounds.

- At first you suspected him to go crazy over time and check your eyesight curiously like a wet specimen in a jar. But his indifference is.. Slightly unnerving. You decide to enter his office and hesitantly remind him that you’re blind. Because you genuinely don’t know at this rate.

- “So..?” He asks. Rather rudely at that. You want to exhale loudly in anger so badly. Why was everyone in this fuckin’ place so mean?? Medic takes his glasses off and readjusts the position of his desk papers. “Should I act upon this more and enforce more adjustments?”

- “No—“ You say slowly. “I didn’t know you even knew. Normally you’d go crazy with curiosity whenever someone is even mildly different than you in an attempt to understand them.” You tell him. This causes him to sort of put his fist to his lips and snort. Holding back a laugh. “What? You think I haven’t met a blind person before? You’re forgetting i’m a doctor. Plus that just means we’re safer with you around. I’d rather not be backstabbed a thousand times each round anymore.”

- Agh.. That explains it. That yellow folder on the table with the blurry photo of your image also explains it.

—————————————————————————-

Spy:

- FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- His poor pride is in pieces on the ground whenever you’re nearby. The other mercs can visibly see his fists clench into a ball and swear they see his eye twitch. Scout especially wonders if you’re going to be the one who finally blows his lid. Why? JUST WHY? Why can you hear him when nobody else can? He’s like a magician the way he disappears into the shadows. So why does it not affect you?

- He’s superior in every way and he knows it. So why is it whenever he’s lightly walking along the hallway to have a smoke break that you turn around and greet him? Truly, nobody else walks as gently and lightly as he does. His footwork to your ears is like a tiptoeing predator in the bushes the way he walks so slowly to achieve stealth. He freezes in place and grits his teeth everytime you do this… Then suppresses his own unholy wrath and stumbles away.

- .. You’re making him needlessly paranoid. He can’t work under these conditions. If you can sense him, then surely eventually the other team will? Congratulations on singlehandedly causing this old man work related silent panic attacks. His hair is falling out more than usual and he’s staring at himself in the mirror, with a dead gone expression. Staring into the void. He’s dissociating now.

- Tries to outsmart your own heightened senses in any way he can. The closest he’s gotten is maybe sneaking into your room while you were asleep to check your drawer and you woke up due to the sound of the drawer opening. After rolling around to face him, his cat-like eyes in the darkness disappeared as fast as they came in. WHOOOOSHHHhh went his cloak. You could even hear him tapping his watch in the process. Really, you didn’t understand how he was such a huge threat to the other team.

[stitch-xiu-up]

Changkyun and Jooheon Gangster!AU

So, I got this for a request, originally, the person requested either member, but I thought, screw it! I’ll do both ^-^ So this is how it turned out in the end!

Lotto Love

~ Stitch

Jooheon

How he meets you:

(Y/N) was walking home from work in the early hours of the morning because hospital shifts are the worst, so being a nurse is great and all but when you see a person who is clearly screaming danger and is bleeding rather heavily while unconscious at a very unsociable hour (2 am lol), a normal person’s reaction would be to get the hell out of there. But being a nurse, (Y/N) has sworn to save any life that she can, so, against their better judgement, (Y/N) goes over to him where they immediately start to bandage gashes (most medical people tend to carry around some form of first aid equipment around with them). (Y/N) was also monitoring this person’s pulse and reaction levels. They stayed with this strange boy (he’s totes a man, but he looks so god damn squishy with those adorbs cheeks). Anywho, (Y/N) stayed with this person for five whole hours until they regained consciousness. As far as Jooheon was concerned, when he unexpectedly opened his eyes (he legit thought that he was going to die in this alley way ngl), he saw an angel. And from that day on Jooheon did his best to keep minor injuries so he could see (Y/N) again, I mean (Y/N) thought that it was pretty cute, but at the same time, they weren’t too impressed with the frequency that he was coming in with injuries.

How he asks you out:

Jooheon had honestly worked up all his courage for this moment. I mean, obviously he has courage, he’s part of a mafia but that courage is different to confessing attraction to a person and telling them what he does for a living while hoping and praying that they can see past the fact that he kills people and deals in drugs and whatnot. He honestly looked like he was going to pass out or throw up (maybe even both) when he went to go and pick (Y/N) up after their shift ended. “So, uh, (Y/N) um…” was how this whole conversation started, after a little reassurance to keep talking from (Y/N) it all came out in a flood. “I’m part of the X Mafia! But! I also really really like you!” He had blurted out while his cheeks flushed as red as apples. (Y/N) was pretty taken aback at how out the blue the whole thing had been, but hey, “Jooheon, when I first saw you, I kind of figured that you didn’t have normal salary job” “Oh…”

How you two end up married:

Jooheon and (Y/N) had been dating for like, a frickin decade (lol, jokes, not that long). It had been two years to the day when Jooheon took (Y/N) out to a little park that was super pretty in the evening when the weather was just perfect, light breeze but still warm enough that a jacket wasn’t completely necessary. Anywho, Jooheon had been planning this for absolutely ages! He had asked the other guys for tips, they all gave him absolutely useless information so he was left to watch chick flicks and look stuff up online. Anyway, He was so sure that he had everything sorted! Jooheon took (Y/N) through a small wooded area that would look creepy if (Y/N) didn’t know how much of a cutie patootie he was to them. Once he guided them both through the woods, (Y/N) was met with the prettiest scene before them, fireflies bobbed about and danced through the sky while gloxinia flowers (they mean love at first sight) spelt out the words that (Y/N) had been waiting for. ‘Will you marry me?’ and as (Y/N) turned around, Jooheon was already on one knee with a box in his hand. Opening the box and revealing the ring was all it took for (Y/N) to throw themselves into his arms wailing a ‘yes’ somewhere in between.

Chankyun

How he meets you:

Changkyun and (Y/N) met at a high school reunion that Changkyun’s friends at the time had dragged him to against his will. (Y/N) had always been a rather quiet student that had never really grabbed anyone’s attention which was one of the reasons that they were standing alone and drinking alcohol while watching everyone mingling with old classmates. A sigh slipped past (Y/N)’s lips as their eyes scanned the crowd once again, stopping when a certain mobster caught their attention. Im Changkyun had always been a bit of a delinquent even in high school, so when some rumours spread through the old school years that he was part of a big time mafia, (Y/N) wasn’t particularly surprised. (Y/N) knew of him in high school but wasn’t associated or introduced to him in any way other than that they knew ‘of’ him. Either way, getting a little off topic here. (Y/N) stared at him for a little while thinking that he hadn’t really changed very much, still very attractive but taller and much more mature looking (In a mobster and intimidating way). Anywho, as (Y/N) was staring at Changkyun in interest, his eyes slid over to look straight back at (Y/N). However, they hadn’t actually noticed yet so a smirk couldn’t really help itself but to glide it’s way across Changkyun’s lips. Without hesitation, he made his way smoothly over. His suit was pretty damn fancy and the way he was holding his glass of whiskey was also pretty damn fine, not going to lie. When (Y/N) finally noticed that he was moving towards them, (he was like a meter away) they started to panic a little. But it was too late. “Hey, It’s … (Y/N) … right?” He asked as he tilted his head slightly. “Changkyun… right?” (Y/N) countered. Oh, how interesting Changkyun found this person to be.

How he asks you out:

Changkyun had been keeping in contact with (Y/N) quite frequently over social media and he wasn’t as bad as they had assumed he would have been. Their communication started to get a little steamy though, it started with little jokes and general conversation but then it started to change and get a lot more sexual. Obviously they were both adults and they weren’t going to do anything completely stupid. (Y/N) originally just replied as a little joke but they started to get into it. Changkyun was very good at making people feel special, thankfully though, (Y/N) was able to figure this out and stopped replying to his messages and unfollowed him on social media. Fate, however, had different plans for the two of them. (Y/N) was out at a club with some friends from work. (Y/N) had decided to just let go and thought ‘fuck it’ while throwing drinks down the back of their throat like there was no tomorrow (lol, if this night went the wrong way, there probs wouldn’t be a tomorrow for (Y/N)). What Changkyun wasn’t expecting as he drowned his frustration in whiskey and vodka (mixing your spirits is never a good idea kids! Don’t copy Changkyun), anyway, he definitely wasn’t expecting to see (Y/N) dancing only a few meters away from him at the last place he thought he would ever see them. With alcohol coursing through his system, he stood and swerved around the meaningless people and beelined straight for (Y/N) where he immediately grabbed their face and kissed them hotly and with a fervor that he had never felt before. And the rest of the night was a bit of a blur if I’m being honest. But (Y/N) woke up, knowing for sure, that they did not own silk sheets and that their bed did not smell like a very expensive cologne, (Y/N) also knew, that they did not have a person in their single bed. (Yes,they did the do, the frick frack, the one night stand.) “So,” Changkyun hummed in a deep pitch as he ruffled his hair, “want to go out?” He smirked as he pressed his lips to (Y/N)’s cheek.

How you two end up married:

Changkyun and (Y/N) had been together for almost three years now and (Y/N) was waiting for the big moment when Changkyun was going to ask them to marry him. Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months. (Y/N) was starting to expect that they were always only going to stay dating. Changkyun was wanting to get married too, unbeknownst to (Y/N). It’s just that he knows how dangerous his lifestyle is and he wouldn’t want to put his wife in unnecessary danger simply because of his last name. By this point (Y/N) was starting to consider just proposing to him instead if he wasn’t going to make the first move. The day that (Y/N) was going to ask him to get married, there was quite a big fight that had Changkyun way too occupied, so that chance was missed, another few months slipped by again after that. But one night, after Changkyun had managed to one way or another get (Y/N) into bed with him again for the fourth time that week. Anyway, as (Y/N) was lying there just thinking, Changkyun was scrolling through his phone as he broke the comfortable silence, “Let’s get married, yeah.” He said it so matter of factly that it threw (Y/N) off a little. Didn’t take long for them to recover though, “You’re asking me that now? Really?” (Y/N) frowned before continuing, “Where’s the romance Changkyun, Jesus!” They huffed as they pulled the bed sheets closer to their body. “Well sorry, I didn’t realise you wanted a big song and dance about it.” Was all he had to say for himself as he continued to scroll while simultaneously handing (Y/N) a box with a ring inside.