#im sorry for how long this ended up being but seriously don't ask me about Saw unless you're okay with the biggest wall of text

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

Wait i actually wanna hear your thoughts/opinions on the Saw movies!

Anon, this is a risky thing to ask me because all that will happen is you will get a 10k word essay from me as a result. But okay. I am going to put this under "Read more" because I truly mean it when I say this ended up very long.

So first of all, I fucking love the Saw franchise. Like objectively it's not that good, especially the sequels, but I love these movies and the characters (mostly). I'm really excited for Saw X, even though I know it's not going to be good. The 10th movie in a horror franchise is never actually good, but at this point I feel like Saw could give me anything and I'll still watch it.

Despite some of the sequels being not so great, I genuinely think the first movie is a masterpiece. I'm a sucker for low budget movies because I love seeing what people can do with little money and I think Saw does a great job at showing the world, the traps and everything. It's definitely not perfect and you can tell it's got a small budget at times, but it just still works so well. Also let's be honest, Saw would not work if it had a huge budget.

Anyway, the story of the first one is still so intriguing and well made, even when you're someone like me who's seen it several times. And the reverse bear trap scene still hits.

I love Adam and Lawrence as characters. They're so intriguing to watch and Adam truly has the funniest lines ever. "This is the most fun I've had without lubricant." sir, you are in a death trap lmao!

Even the other characters are interesting to watch imo.

Oh, and I can't not mention the early drafts of the Saw script. There are some lines that make me insane every time I think about them. I'm sure you can find some of them on tumblr. My favourite is probably "so many days you have wanted to die. Now your goal is to make it out of here alive. Either way, you win, yes?". In the early drafts Adam was quite suicidal and that line is in the Jigsaw tape to Adam. Honestly there's so much about Adam in the early drafts that makes me lose it a little. There's even some dialogue of Lawrence asking Adam about him being suicidal. It just... aaaaaaaaaaaaaa yknow?

Saw really has such well written characters. Even if the story isn't always the greatest, the characters make up for it a lot.

Especially Amanda. Like her being addicted to heroin and after the rbt, she and John thinks she's good now. He's healed her. But he hasn't. She now needs John's approval. And she still hurts herself and starts killing others. Because John didn't do shit. He turned her into this monster and he doesn't really care. He supposedly cares that she's killing people, but only because he lives with some weird god complex where he thinks he's not killing people.

But genuinely if you really think about it, she's just a tragic character and that's the point. I love her character, even though she'll never get anything good to happen to her.

Also on a less serious note, Amanda Young is a lesbian. No, I'm not projecting. (I am)

Now onto Jigsaw himself. Fucking John Kramer. I would beat him up if he was real. I don't care that he's an old man dying of cancer, I would punch him. Every time he talks about how he doesn't kill people and that killing is distasteful, I feel like fighting. Dude straight up kidnaps people and puts them in death traps that are nearly impossible to escape. But sure. Yeah, they totally had a choice in the matter. Also like what choice did the people in Saw III have? They didn't have a choice, they had to have Jeff choose for them. And the people in Saw VI? Like I love Saw VI and I love that it's about health care in the US, but like those people didn't get to choose shit. He killed them. And yes, he's dead by that point, but it's his design and his trap. John Kramer is stupid and I would fist fight him at any point in time.

Sorry, I guess I should move on to the second movie.

I think the second movie is pretty good. I prefer the first one and kinda wish the 2nd one had some better character stuff, but the traps in the second one are so good? The fucking needle pit makes me cringe every time. Also fun fact, they used over 100k syringes for that trap. People had to remove the needles from each one to ensure that it's safe and I remember seeing this behind the scenes video where even the 100k syringes weren't enough. They had to put padding at the bottom to make it seem like the pit was a lot more full.

I also do like the idea of all the victims being connected because they were framed by Detective Matthews. And the twist is pretty cool too even if "your son is in a safe place" is silly. Did it have to be a pun? It's so funny.

Also Amanda waking up in the trap and immediately checking if there's a trap on her head? Makes me insane actually.

Now onto the third one, I genuinely think I'd like it more if Jeff didn't suck. He's a frustrating character to watch most of the time. However, I do think that The Rack (the trap Timothy was in that slowly twisted his limbs) is the worst trap ever, but like I mean that in a good way. It's probably the only trap I genuinely have to look away from. I can't handle watching it fully.

I think a lot of the other traps in Saw III are pretty cool too, again, I just wish Jeff was less frustrating of a character.

But Amanda and Lynn? First of all, there was something gay as hell going on there. If they both didn't literally die in that movie, I would say they hate-fucked afterwards. Also Amanda is so hot in this movie. Uh, I mean, what? Who said that? I'm not simping for the murderer.

Okay. I definitely prefer the Amanda, Lynn and John side of the plot. I think it's a lot more interesting to watch, especially with Amanda struggling because of the letter and not knowing whether to kill Lynn or not. I also like that we find out more about Amanda and her mental state after everything John has done.

I will forever be upset that Saw III has so many deleted scenes. Especially the one where Adam and Amanda interact. I think it's such a good scene, I wish they kept it in. (If you haven't seen it, the deleted scenes are all on youtube). I think it's so cool to see how Amanda is like hesitant almost for a bit to do anything to Adam because he's being nice to her. And like she's going to his apartment to kidnap him. She has zero good intentions, but she looks to almost second guess the decision as he's leaving.

Fourth movie, let's go! The fourth one is in my opinion very funny. Mainly because of the ridiculous scene transitions. I saw this behind the scenes video where Darren Lynn Bousman (the director) was so excited about the scene transitions, but me and my friends have watched this movie and laughed at the transitions. They're so ridiculous. Especially the one where the lady is goes through the mirror and onto the police office.

Anyway, the main overall trap is kinda not that great in this one imo. And the whole reason that the character is in the trap because he spends too much time trying to catch Jigsaw is ridiculous. However, I do like the fact that a rapist gets put in a Saw trap. 10/10

Oddly enough, I don't remember the overall plot that well of this movie. I don't even think its a bad Saw movie, I think it's pretty good. It's just kind of forgettable overall I guess?

Saw V... Saw V is a movie that I think could've been really good, but ended up kinda crap.

First of all, the concept of the trap is probably one of my favourites. I love the idea that all of them could've survived, if they just worked together and weren't selfish. I think it's a great idea. However, I don't think it was executed that well. Mainly, I think the backstory of the characters should've been clearer. And just the characters in general could've been better. Also sorry, but I thought the reveal that they could've worked together was so obvious. I think with some more improvements in the script, this could've been great though.

The fucking cop plot however? Jesus christ, I hated it. Mark Hoffman walks around like he's got "I'm Jigsaw" taped on his back, yet somehow not a single person is suspicious of him and instead think Strahm is guilty. Like please, Hoffman is not that good at hiding.

Also whoever did the casting for Saw IV and V is my enemy. I genuinely had a hard time telling Strahm and Hoffman apart at first. They both look like generic white guys and I'm supposed to distinguish from these two? It doesn't help that they're fucking dressed a similar way. I kinda wish they would've altered their appearance a little more at the very least.

The end is cool though.

Saw VI is one of my favourites though. It's a bit dumb, but I love it. I love that they show the stupidity that is American healthcare in it. I enjoy the traps a lot. Especially the shotgun carousel. Hello? Whoever thought of that is kind of genius. It's a really cool idea imo. I also think the characters are better written in this too. I will never not think that Jigsaw putting the janitor in a trap for smoking is kinda dumb, but I kinda understand why he's there.

The twist isn't great, but it's a great movie overall.

Fun fact: Saw VII aka Saw: The Final Chapter was originally supposed to be two separate movies. But Saw VI didn't do as well as studios wanted, despite the fact that it was a lot better critically received. So the studio made the filmmakers cut the idea down to one movie. I really wish we could've gotten two though, that would've worked way better. Apparently one was supposed to focus more on Lawrence, which would've been really good.

The Saw VII we did get is not a very good movie. Character-wise it's bad. The traps are okay. But also this movie is weirdly ugly? Like whatever they did with the colour grading didn't work at all. I think it looks hideous. The wrong colours stand out and it doesn't feel as much of a Saw movie anymore.

Saw VII needed more Lawrence. Also the way that the guys wife did nothing wrong and didn't deserve to slowly burn alive. Oh, also, I think the concept of a therapy group for Jigsaw survivors is so unintentionally funny. It's like an absurd comedy,how are there enough people for there to be Jigsaw survivors therapy group lmao

Just realised I haven't even mentioned Jill and Hoffman's whole plot, but tbh idk if there's much to say about it. I think it makes sense for John to want to test Hoffman when he's become too serial killer-y. And it's cool to have the rbt return. Especially in VII where we actually see someone get killed by it. I know Saw VII is the most hated, but imo it's not the worst Saw movie.

Which greatly leads us to Jigsaw. The worst Saw movie! Fuck Jigsaw (2017). Me and my homies all hate Jigsaw (2017).

First of all, Jigsaw looks even less like a Saw movie than VII. Like why did they try to go for this modern look to it? Why was that necessary? I think part of what makes the Saw movies so good is the gross 2000s look. It doesn't work as well without it.

The characters are alright. Although the scene where that one guy is right by the thing that would disable the trap completely and he doesn't fucking do it is kinda frustrating. Like at that point, do it just in case. I don't remember the exact details of the trap, but I'm talking about the bike one. I think he had to press a bike break? And the spinning trap that would kill him would be deactived completely.

But what really makes me hate this movie is the ending. First of all, John taking a bullet, showing it to the other two and going "this is the key to your survival" and then us finding out that he put keys to the chains inside the bullet? Yeah, what the fuck? This is so much worse than "He's in a safe place". I hate that part so much.

Of course, the twist that this was all in the past is even dumber. If this happened before Adam and Lawrence, then why does Billy have glowing eyes? Why does John suddenly have high-tech TV's. Why does the Jigsaw trap look like a fucking corporate office. Why is everything the way that it is?

But the truly worst part is Logan. My sworn enemy. I would gladly punch John, but that feeling is tripled when it comes to Logan. He's like a more annoying Hoffman. And Logan's been here from the start? Fuck off, no he hasn't. And "John didn't think I should die because of an honest mistake." I'm killing Logan. I'm aiming a gun at the writers of this movie. I'm fist fighting everything in sight. How do you watch SEVEN whole movies about the kind of person John is and think he would ever save someone because of a mistake? Logan's annoying ass should be dead. And listen, I know there's a theory out there where someone is saying that maybe John saved Logan because he put too many drugs in his system, which caused Logan not to wake up in time to give him a decent chance, and what John really meant was that he (John) made a mistake. But no, that's still stupid. It's John Kramer! He'd just blame Logan for the fact that the drugs didn't let him wake up in time. John wouldn't save him.

Also how does being spared by a serial killer equal deciding to work for said serial killer? What was the reason? Why did Logan do all that and decide that he wants to help John? It makes no sense! This movie makes no sense. The traps aren't even good enough or entertaining enough to look past all the stupidity. It makes me upset that they fucked up a Saw movie this badly. Saw is already convoluted enough. They genuinely could've just given a generic Saw trap plot and a generic cop plot, and it would've been 10x times better. Anything would've been 10x better than Jigsaw (2017). I truly hate that movie, I'm sorry.

Okay, finally there's Spiral: From the Book of Saw. Now I see quite a bit of dislike for Spiral out there on the internet, but honestly? I actually think it's alright. I'd put Spiral above Jigsaw and Saw VII. Maybe even above V.

This movie also abandons the gross 2000s aesthetic, but I think it works better here because it's a completely different setting and it's not Jigsaw! It's not John or Amanda or Hoffman or Logan. It's a copycat killer and in turn, I think that makes me more okay with the change in style.

Also I think the traps in Spiral are awesome. I especially like that, since this is a copycat killer, the whole "make a choice" thing kinda goes out the window too. It's just a bunch of brutal traps and I don't mind that at all.

The tongue trap is pretty unforgettable, but for some reason the finger one makes me cringe the most. Something about the idea of your fingers being pulled apart just gives me that slight uncomfortable feeling. Also the trap with the wax was pretty interesting too and quite brutal.

The twist in this movie, however, is so predictable imo. Like the second they didn't show the trap William was supposedly in, I knew he was alive and guilty. But I do love a Jigsaw that says ACAB.

I do also think Spiral has a lot of flaws. Like it's overall not a very good movie, but I enjoyed it. My opinion might be slightly influenced by the fact that this was the first Saw movie I saw in cinemas and it was a fun watch, but still. The movie's alright. I wouldn't mind a sequel to Spiral.

And as mentioned previously, I'm really excited for Saw X. Especially since they're bringing back my girl Amanda. I know it won't be as good as the first one, but I at least hope that Saw X will be better than Jigsaw.

[devondespresso]

Let Me Raise The Bar

T | 3,602 words | Steddie | also on ao3! | Modern AU, Meet Cute, Fluff

This fic is for the @strangerthingswritersguild fic exchange, by @starryeyedjanai and @devondespresso. Thank you to @dreamwatch and @bubblesandink for betaing for me!! <3

dividers by @/thecutestgrotto

edit: oh my god i forgot the keep reading the first time im so sorry guys

This night is going terribly.

He keeps telling himself he’ll delete all his dating apps for good, but the prospect of being alone forever always has him re-downloading them.

Right now, he’s remembering why he hates them so much.

He hates Tinder, specifically—guys on Tinder only want to fuck. And if that was what he was looking for, that’d be fine, great even!

But he wants a relationship and guys on Tinder will say they want one too and then turn around and leave right after they get what they want.

At least guys on Grindr are upfront about it being just a hookup—no one’s getting their hopes up or feelings hurt when it turns out to be just that.

Tinder guys will take you on a date and pretend to be interested in you as a person and then won't fucking text back after they leave your apartment the next morning. It’s annoying and it’s frustrating and it’s a waste of Steve's fucking time at this point.

And this guy tonight isn't even trying to pretend. He tried to get Steve to blow him in his apartment building garage before they even left for the date and he really should have taken that for the red flag that it was.

But Steve looks good, and he did his hair routine that takes entirely too fucking long for no one to appreciate it.

His date drives him to this hole in the wall restaurant that Steve must have passed a million times on the bus ride to his job without ever noticing.

He thought he might be able to turn things around when they got there—it’s a small Italian place, a real family-owned type vibe to it. He knows before he even orders that the food is going to be some of the best he’s tasted since moving here.

He tries asking the typical first date questions to get to know him, but his date keeps giving him short answers. So he switches to talking about himself a little, but then he realizes his date’s been staring at his mouth the whole time he’s been talking and Steve finally snaps that he isn't getting into his pants.

Steve breathes out a deep sigh as his “date” gets up and goes to the bathroom. Some fucking date this is—they haven't even gotten their fucking food yet. What a disaster.

“Hey,” he hears their waiter—Eddie, his nametag reminds Steve when he looks up—say after a minute of his date being gone. “I hate to be the bearer of super bad news, but I just saw your date slip out the back door, and I don't know if he’s planning on coming back.”

There's a lilt of sympathy in his voice and Steve can't help but snort.

“Of course he did,” Steve says. “Why can't guys just be upfront about what they want? It would save everyone so much time.”

He’s not looking for an answer, but Eddie's mouth twists and he says, “Guys are stupid. I mean, they’d have to be to give up the chance to get to know someone as cute as you.”

Steve can't really muster up a smile at the pity, so he says, “Well, whatever the case, he was my ride home, so I think I need to call a Lyft now. Can you box the food up and bring me the check?” At least he’ll have lunch for tomorrow, which doesn't feel like an adequate consolation prize for how shitty he feels right now.

Eddie shakes his head and says, “There’s no way I’m letting you pay for such a shitty date.” Steve opens his mouth to protest, but Eddie continues, “Tell you what, my shift ends in ten minutes. Why don't I show you how I’d treat you if we went on a date.”

Steve's heart thuds in his chest, a flicker of hope in this incredibly dull evening. “Seriously?” he asks.

Eddie nods. “Think of it as a trial run. See if I rank good enough for a real one.” He winks and Steve finds himself nodding dumbly, still shocked at the rapid turn of events.

“Okay,” Steve says, kind of breathless.

Eddie heads back to finish cleaning up his other tables before he ends his shift, and Steve fills Robin in over text about what happened.

He’s still waiting for a response when Eddie shows back up with two plates of food, setting one in front of Steve and the other where his date sat before sliding into the chair across from him.

He’s wearing a different shirt, Steve realizes. It also looks like he attempted to wrangle his curly hair into something more manageable, maybe sprayed some water on it to smooth it down.

The thought that this guy, this random guy who happened to be his waiter on this horrific night, would put in more effort than his previous date makes Steve's cheeks get hot.

Maybe this night really can turn around.

“Alright, names. Hi, I'm Eddie.” Eddie says, sticking his hand out across the table cartoonishly for a handshake. Steve suppresses a laugh and takes Eddie’s hand with a smile.

“Steve.” He says, and Eddie’s eyes brighten before he takes his hand back.

“So, Steve, what do you do for fun?” Eddie says, leaning forward slightly with vibrant confidence, tone feeling more and more noticeably rehearsed as he goes. “Other than light up the room with that smile, of course.”

Steve huffs a laugh, blushing despite himself.

“You practice that one a lot?”

Eddie shrinks back a little, still smiling even as he messes with the hair on the back of his neck, already starting to ruffle what he’d tried to tame.

“Yeah, it’s uh…”

“It’s sweet.” Steve leans in a little closer himself, trying to match the effort Eddie keeps putting in. “Almost as sweet as the smile you're wearing.”

Eddie flushes pink and lets out a little “Thank you” to cover a nervous laugh—and christ, Steve is already hooked.

Steve hums and grabs his fork to start eating and Eddie mirrors him.

“Thank you for this by the way.” Steve continues, “Tonight's been… ugh, you know.”

“A special kind of shitty?”

“Yeah,” Steve sighs, “So all this is… really nice.”

“I'm glad.” Eddie says, voice soft before he shrugs and continues casually “M’hoping I’ll at least do better than the last guy.”

“Yeah, of course, you haven’t even asked me to blow you yet or anything.”

Eddie turns red and busts out a nervous laugh, looking away immediately. God, he’s so fucking cute.

“Yeah, yeah, I'm not–” Eddie looks back at him, nervous still, but sincere anyway, “That's not exactly my style.”

“You a wine and dine kinda guy?”

Eddie shrugs lightly, then he seems to get an idea, leaning in again with a smile “Actually– ideally, I'm a dine and mine kinda guy.”

A smile takes over Steve’s face that he can’t fully tamp down, a little flustered and a lot amused.

Eddie preens, then continues with a shy smile.

“Though, uh, usually it's more dine and…” Eddie pauses, “Pine. Dine and pine. You know, like pining.”

Steve makes his face relax as he nods and leans back. “Oh, yeah, like the tree.”

Eddie stops and looks at Steve, and soon Steve’s smile breaks out again.

“No, I know what you mean.” He says with a little laugh that Eddie quickly mirrors.

Eddie visibly relaxes, slouching overdramatically to the side with a sigh.

“God, I swear I’m usually good at this sort of thing, words and stories and shit,” He groans, gesturing around almost like he’s talking to himself, “But apparently I meet one pretty boy and suddenly I’ve got screws loose. And they’re all falling out, all across the floor, ‘there they go!’, y’know?”

Steve bites back a snicker and hums a quiet agreement. Eddie notices, though, looks up and sees right to Steve’s amusement, so Steve decides to save them both the embarrassment and move on.

“So your job. You like it here?

“Oh yeah, absolutely,” Eddie says, perking up and gesturing as he starts talking, “The owners are really cool, they were our neighbors– Wayne’s—my uncle’s—neighbors when I first moved in with him, way way back, and they were so chill, loved having people over. Then one time in highschool I mentioned saving up ‘cause I’m trying to make it big with my band, and they offered to give me a job here while we get there.”

“That’s awesome. Your band any good?”

“Depends on who you ask.” Eddie laughs, playing with the food on his plate, “Wayne says we’re pretty good, which is probably the equivalent of moms showing up to their toddler’s dance recitals, but it’s something.”

“Where'd you guys play?”

“The Hideout, a couple blocks down…”

Steve nods.

“Yeah, it’s, uh, pretty fun if you ever wanted to stop by.“

“Sounds like a great second date.”

Eddie blushes, playing with his hair again as he smiles and looks away.

“I’ll probably have to wear earplugs– not because of your band or–”

“No, no, no, you’re good–” Eddie says, almost jumping up to reassure him, “It’s metal, that’s normal– good, even.”

“Oh– good.” Steve says, a bit awkwardly, and looks back down to his food.

Eddie leaves barely a moment of silence before he pulls the conversation back together.

“So what about you? You just a professional bad-Tinder-dater?”

Steve huffs and fiddles with his fork.

“Guidance counselor, actually.”

“Oh damn, really?”

“Yeah, Middle school.”

“Oh god,” Eddie groans playfully, “I can't imagine going back there willingly.”

“Yeah, I mean, it can get pretty rough,” Steve shrugs, “It's good though. Kids start thinking about who they are, I get to try and make that a little less shitty.”

“That’s a tall order.” Eddie laughed into his glass. “I respect it though. Hell, just having a queer adult exist around me would’ve made a lot of it easier.”

“God, yeah. I've got practice, at least, for when they need more than just some guy standing around in an office.” he laughed, pulling out sarcastic air quotes for the next part, “ I ‘babysat’ kids in middle school before I graduated. Bunch of little shits but they were good kids– still are good. They're like four years younger than me though, so they're more like siblings than kids.”

“Yeah, bet they don't take well to ‘kids’.”

“Oh, they hate it.” Steve laughed and Eddie followed with him, “Always hated it, but Dustin put his foot down after highschool. Rob and I call them my ‘twenty-somethings’ now.”

“God, wait, how old are you?” Eddie laughed

“Twenty-six.”

Eddie laughed a little louder, a lively and full laugh that looked enchanting on Eddie.

“You'd love them, they're all–

Steve’s phone buzzes.

Both of them look over to it on the table. Steve moves it to the seat next to him, looked up to Eddie with an apologetic smile.

His phone buzzes again.

And again, and soon Eddie’s eyes flick in that direction, eyebrow quirking with barely-restrained curiosity.

Then Steve’s phone starts ringing, the electric guitars of Hammer To Fall creeping up in volume way too fast for comfort.

“Sorry–” Steve cringes, grabbing his phone and answering the call in a furious whisper, “Robin, are you dying?”

“No, but thank you for confirming that you aren’t.”

“I texted you what happened.”

“Yeah and it was vague as hell! I reserve the right to be a worrywart with this shit.”

“Yeah, I know.” Steve sighs, but can’t really argue with her on it. “This was going well, though–”

“Is.” Eddie chimes in, not trying to be loud enough for the phone to pick it up, just for Steve to hear him clearly.

“Is going well.” Steve smiles.

“Oooo okayyy.” Robin hums and Steve can hear her cheeky smile through the phone.

“Goodbye, Robin.” Steve says, failing a half-assed attempt to cover his amusement.

“Oh wait no, tell him if he tries anything I’ll–”

“M’not doing that.”

“I will though, I’ll go after him–”

“Oh woah you’re breaking up, can’t hear you.” Steve deadpans.

“Steve, I know–”

“Love you, bye–”

“Steeeeve–”

“Don’t pull your hair out.” Steve says and hangs up, coming back to the present to Eddie watching him, thankfully looking amused instead of annoyed.

“Sorry about that.” Steve says.

“No, no, it’s fine.” Eddie leans forward again, propping his head up in one hand, “So… friend?”

“Best friend, has to be to get away with shit like that so easily.”

Eddie snorts.

“What was she calling about?”

“I wasn’t clear that this new date thing was gonna be a good thing.”

Eddie nods civilly.

“She worries,” Steve continues, “Fuckin’ tinder dates, y’know?”

“Uh, not really….” Eddie smiles.

“Good for you. They’re all the same asshole in a different haircut.” Steve says, and Eddie smiles, laughing a little with him before continuing with something calmer, a little more earnest.

“Then why keep going to them?”

Steve shrugs.

“Call me an optimist, I guess.”

Eddie hums noncommittally, like he’s thinking more than he’s sharing, and continues the conversation in a lighter direction.

_

The rest of the date is wonderful. A little less chaotic, especially once they start finally eating their food for real, but what it lacks in eventfulness it makes up for in comfort. They’re not exactly quiet, but Eddie’s energy always comes with a sincerity underneath, like he’s bold and fun because he just is, and not because he’s making himself be.

It’s refreshing. And as the night goes on, it becomes intoxicating.

So when Eddie offers to save him the Lyft fee and just drive Steve home, Steve agrees, just to get a little longer in Eddie’s bubble.

Eddie leads him through the restaurant and out the back into a small parking lot with a handful of cars and one big van, decorated with a clearly hand-painted dragon on the side. Which, of course, ends up being Eddie’s.

“Dustin would love this thing.” Steve says as he hops into the passenger’s seat, not really thinking twice about it as he looks at the interior, eyes lingering on the big fuzzy dice with too many sides hanging from the mirrors.

“So Dustin is…?”

“A Twenty-something.” Steve laughs as he spins the fuzzy dice to see all of its sides. “He’s like my little brother. Loves DnD and science and… all the nerd shit.”

“Nerd shit?”

“Yeah, I mean– it's not my thing but it’s cool. I’ve played with Dustin and them a couple times.”

“Oooo, a bit of a nerd, are we?” Eddie hums in a weird, almost witchy voice.

“Casually.”

“Mmm, but you’re already down the path~~”

“Just drive, dude.” Steve says with a fond eye roll.

“As you wish, your majesty.” Eddie hums in his normal voice, giving Steve a glowing glance before shoving the keys in.

“Alright, I'm about to push your nerd-tolerance to its limits.” Eddie says, pulling out his phone with a grin. He connects it to the car and quickly turns it down before drums and guitar erupt from the speakers, and Steve flinches at the volume.

“Sorry, sorry.” Eddie whispers and turns down the music again.

Steve nods, and after a second of the music playing much more quietly, he finds it much more comfortable. Nice, even. The energy is quick and alive like Eddie is, though the aggressive vocals fit his outward aesthetic more than his borderline goofy demeanor.

“It’s not the music, I promise.” Steve says, saying it casually but meaning it sincerely.

“You’re fine, I get it.” Eddie laughs, a little too cynically for Steve’s liking.

“No, I–” Steve reaches for Eddie’s hand between them, intertwining fingers and bringing both hands up between them, “I’m serious, I like it. My head’s a little sensitive, been hit a few too many times, but it’s nice. It’s bold and very energetic… stuff that I already like about you.”

Eddie blushes hard—a sweet cherry pink—as he slouches, bringing their joined hands closer to his face like he’s trying to hide behind them. Eddie rests his forehead against the back of Steve’s hand and huffs a quiet laugh.

“God, you’re quite the charmer, Stevie.” Eddie says, and Steve finds his face warming too.

“And I’m guessing it’s working?” Steve laughs.

Eddie looks up at him, smiling wide.

“Oh, it’s working very well.” Eddie says, and brings their hands closer to him again to plant a soft kiss onto Steve’s hand.

Steve’s face goes warm again, lights him on fire, and Eddie’s smile turns slightly smug before he looks away.

“Alright,” Eddie says, looking back to the front to drive but not letting go of Steve’s hand. He even reaches his left arm over to change the gears, leaning into how silly he looks to make Steve laugh.

It’s sweet, it's genuine, and it's everything to Steve.

Eddie starts driving, hand still firmly holding onto Steve’s, neither of them willing to let go first. Steve looks at it as Eddie drives, splitting most of his attention between their hands, Eddie’s profile lit up by the colorful city lights, and the road ahead as he navigates Eddie to his apartment.

And if they miss a turn or two because Steve’s tired brain doesn’t want to watch the damn road? Eddie doesn’t mention it.

_

“Alright.” Eddie says, putting the car into park with his left hand again, though far less comically now.

He sits there for a second, quiet like something’s on his mind, so Steve waits.

“Okay, uh,” Eddie starts, looking vaguely down as he wanders through what he wants to say, “I had fun, I’m assuming by how the nights gone that you did, too…”

Steve squeezes Eddie's hand, and Eddie laughs.

“I had a really great time. And I want to do this again, if you want to.” Eddie glances up at Steve for a second before his eyes dart away again. “But I want to be sure you’re… you’re not being an optimist with me. That you want want this, y’know, because you're an amazing guy, Stevie. I don’t know how you keep having such shit luck but believe me when I tell you it's not because of you.”

Eddie looks back up at him again and keeps his gaze there, looking more relaxed now.

“So, uh, I would love to take you out again.” Eddie says, “If you want to.”

If he wants to, as if that's not the most romantic thing Steve’s heard in his life.

Steve almost says that. He also debates kissing him or pulling him into an awkward hug over the center console that he’s sure would be put up with no matter how uncomfortable it’d be. But Steve doesn’t, because Eddie continues before Steve can make a decision.

“What do you want?”

Steve resists the urge to say a cheesy ‘You’ and thinks about it, really thinks so he can put together words that make sense, so he can give Eddie a real answer.

“I want a long relationship. A real one, y’know?”

Eddie nods.

“And I want to get married, someday. I want someone who’ll stay that long, who will love and let me love them, all cheesy and clingy and shit.”

Eddie hums, searching Steve’s face.

“And?”

Steve looks down at the joined hands between them.

“And I’d love if it were you. You’re sweet, so sweet, but you’re also… alive. Everything you do, you’re…” Steve thinks hard for a moment, working out how to phrase it. “It’s like the world doesn’t weigh you down. And you’re so genuine and you’ll come and say what you mean like it’s nothing, and I think every one of the people in my life—my favorite people—would love being around you almost as much as I do.”

Steve looks back up to him, face hot with another intense flush, and tries to smile casually.

“Hate to break it to you, dude, but you’re kinda my perfect man.”

Eddie huffs a breathy laugh, face painted with disbelief and wonder.

“Okay, then. Case closed.”

“Yeah,” Steve hums, with as much fondness as possible. Steve leans in across the center console, bringing a hand up slowly, trying to signal that he’s leaning in for a kiss.

It takes Eddie a second, and Steve gets to watch him look down at Steve’s hand and look at Steve leaning in, gets to see the moment it clicked before Eddie lunges to meet him halfway and then some, making the hand that was supposed to cradle Eddie’s face hold onto the seat beneath him to keep their balance.

Eddie kisses him hard at first, bringing a hand up to card through Steve’s hair, excited and alive. Then Eddie seems to come back to his senses, moving back but taking Steve with him until they’re both leaning over the center again.

Their kiss softens, intensity melting out into fondness, gentle but passionate, warm and Steve wants to melt from it.

Still, Steve’s going home tonight, going to go upstairs to Robin and tell her all about it. He’ll get to have a good night's sleep in a bed that doesn’t need cleaning, and he’ll get to wake up to the idea of something new brewing fresh in his mind.

Steve pulls back gently and Eddie does the same, eyes flicking open one after the other, a smile on Steve’s face and another lighting up Eddie’s.

Steve catches his breath, feeling lighter now than he has in ages, and Eddie opens his mouth to say something again.

“Does this mean I can get your number?”

[pjsfvs]

Angry sex with Tyun

paring : dom!taehyun x afab!reader

warnings/tags : angry sex, window/wall sex, im to lazy to do the rest.

summary : You and taehyun get into a heated argument, which leads to some good angry sex.

a/n : don't leave hate comments for me to see. if you don't like it just block me and leave.

“Taehyun, I told you, I’m done talking about this. I said I was sorry.”

“You were being irrational, Y/N?! Seriously?! You can’t just go charging into my rehearsal like that begging me to come along with you, for fucking boba! What if the members got distracted. Hm? They could have been hurt or worse!”

“I get that you were worried about them, and I know I was wrong for doing that, but you're the one who told me you were on break. It is not my fault. You can't put the whole blame on me.”

“Your so fucking annoying sometimes.”

“God, can you shut up and listen to me!? I don't know why I have to re-explain this to you again.” Taehyun stare at you incredulously, ready to interrupt but you continue on, “You told me that you missed me, and I wanted to see you, so I came when you texted me you were on break.”

“How long do you think our breaks are huh? Knowing we're about to have a comeback. Just how fucking long do you think these breaks last!?”

The argument is never-ending. Sweaty and red-faced, Taehyun is so close. So close that you can still smell the scent of spear mint on his breath from the gum he's been chewing. So close that you can see the dark circles under his eyes from the sleepless night and the height of his body, creating a shadow over your body. Your chests touch, both heaving from yelling back and forth. Staring him in the eyes, you have nothing else to say; left to communicate all your frustration through a silent glare. Neither one of you wants to be the first to break.

“Taehyun, I’m done doing this whenever you and the guy have a comeback. You can’t keep telling me to come see you while on break, just to get pissed at me afterwards. I’m done with that. I’m fucking done.” You keep repeating that last line to yourself more so than to him. A realization coming over you that you might not just be done arguing with Taehyun over this particular topic. You might also be finished with your relationship. If he wouldn’t make time, to see you, what's the point. Just one fucking glance, that's all you could ask for. If this is what you had to go through each time, you weren’t sure you could handle it.

Through his anger, Taehyun gives you a look of desperation, hoping that you both could come to some agreement. Shaking your head, you turn and walk away. You have nothing left to give.

“No. You don’t get to walk away like you always do. Not this time!” He yells, grabbing you by the shoulders and pressing you against the very door you were prepared to leave though. Pushing him away does nothing. He just comes back, forcing your back against the door again with a resounding thud. You want to deny it but the roughness of how he handles you causes a spark within you. You’re certain it’s affecting Taehyun too from the way his half-hard member brushes against you.

“Tyun…” You’re cut off by a passionate kiss. Your body denies your rational mind by returning the kiss. It’s nothing like your normal exchange. It’s heated, teeth clanging against each other, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth and fighting for complete dominance.

Clothes are torn from each of your bodies, no care given to the sounds of ripping fabric and buttons hitting the floor. Your sole focus is on each other.

“Up” he commands, grabbing at your hips. Taking his cue, you jump up, wrapping your legs around his waist. Nipping along your jaw, he leaves a stinging trail of red marks on your skin. You hiss when bites down harshly at the juncture of your shoulder. Continuing on his intended path, Taehyun attaches his mouth to one of your perky nipples, swirling his tongue around it before sucking.

The heels of your feet pressed into his lower back, bringing him closer to your core. His throbbing member slips through your folds, pressing against your clit. Focused on your own pleasure now, you repeat the action, grinding yourself against his cock.

“Stop it.” He growls out in response to your tempting actions. The head of his member prods against your sensitive bud as Taehyun ruts his hips unexpectedly. You yelp in surprise but don’t stop.

“You need to fucking listen. You never listen.”

“Fuck you.” You retort, smirking at him in defiance.

“That’s what I plan on doing to do you, sweetheart.”

Not waiting for your reply, Taehyun enters your wet core without warning causing you to throw your head back. Any advantage you thought you had is now gone as you succumb to the pleasure. As you sink on to his thick cock, Taehyun groans lowly, enjoying the feeling of your warm pussy that is so inviting to slip into.

“Gonna fuck you so good.”

You chuckle at his comment, knowing it will provoke him. And that’s just what it does. Without pulling out of you, Taehyun unwinds your legs from his waist and pushes them towards your chest by the knees. The new position gives him a new angle to hit and he begins to thrust into you without control. His pace is frenzied and brutal as he abuses your pussy.

Clawing at his shoulders, your first orgasm washes over you but he gives you no time to bask in it. Even as your core clenches around his member, he continues to fuck you senseless, pushing you through your first orgasm and works you close to a second.

Taehyun watches, fully mesmerized, as his member pumps in and out of you. His cock is slick with your wetness making it easier for him to push back in and keep his rhythm.

“So close. Don’t fucking stop,” You announce your impending orgasm to him, not that he needed you to tell him. He knows from the way your core pulses that you’re almost there. So is he; ready to spill his load into you. Pumping into you deeper, Taehyun’s cock hits the perfect spot, causing jolts of electricity to course throughout your lower half.

Your second orgasm rocks you so hard and you go limp in his arms. A few more thrusts and he followed right behind you. His cock throbs inside you as his cum coats your walls. Dropping his head to your shoulder, Tae’s heavy breaths fan over your heated skin, sending a chill through you.

After helping you to wrap your legs back around him, he carries you to your shared bed; laying you down gently. Climbing in next to you, he tugs you to his chest making sure you are tucked comfortably against him.

“I’m sorry, ya know. You’re a damn good girlfriend, Y/N. I know that. I just don’t want anyone to get distracted and end up hurt because of you. If that happens, they might not let you visit the building anymore and I don't want that to happen.”

With much of your frustration gone, you realize you may have been too hard on Taehyun. He cares about you and doesn't want anyone on his team to get hurt.

“I know. I just want you to make some time for me. Even if its one minute of your time. I miss you."

"I know baby, I know. I'll try and make at least 10 minutes for you on busy days, on free days we can go on the cute dates you told me about doing. I promise."

[paper-mario-wiki]

you do such a good job passing! any tips?

thank you, i appreciate that! i dont have a ton of tips since ive only been at it for a little over half a year, and im kinda flying by the seat of my pants cuz i dont have a lot of people i talk to day-to-day about presentation. pretty much everything ive figured out by myself and with youtube tutorials. regardless, heres a few i can think of:

don't be afraid to go to a makeup store and ask for advice. i brought a picture of myself i put through faceapp to give me makeup, and i showed it to the ladies at sephora, who were able to get me exactly what i was looking for. theres a world of difference between a face full of makeup, and a face full of makeup that's slightly the wrong shade, and it's good to get the opinions of experts.

try to look at the other women in your family and see how they style themselves, or do their makeup, or even how they speak or carry themselves. finding a look that works isn't somethin that you can fall into super easily, you have to go searching for it. try to model yours after the people who literally share your genes and therefore your features. (note, the opposite is equally usable for transmascs, look at your brothers, fathers, and uncles)

spend time in the mirror seeing what looks right. comb your hair in different directions, part it in a different place, put a clip in, dye it a different color, etc. put on makeup and then take it all off, then put on way too much and only take half of it off. learn the muscle memory of holding a liquid eyeliner pen in your non dominant hand and tracing it across the eyelid on the opposite side of your face without twitching your eye. nobody will see you, you're in your own bathroom. with the resources you have, treat the Bathroom Fit Check like you're customizing a character in a videogame.

look for your angles! i wish i could look good at every angle, but i don't, and vanishingly few people actually do. i spent a lot of time looking at myself in my front-facing phone camera from different directions and thinking "fuck im never going to pass, i really dont look great. is this even worth it?" and no matter how much doubt i had, in the long run the answer ended up being yes, it is worth it. that's kinda how hard things are: they suck until they don't anymore.

this one is really simple and may not apply to you, but fix your posture. seriously. when i started standing up straight for a few weeks i noticed an change in how i looked and carried myself (and my back doesnt hurt as much now)

come to terms with the fact that a lot of women look like men, and a lot of men look like women. the idea that all men look one way and all women look the other is an propagandstic invention of the state that should not be taken seriously. (note: this tip works only inwardly as a facet of self actualization. no matter what, you will always run into people who buy into the propaganda. to the best of your ability, pay them no mind.)

im sorry i cant give you anything more, but thats kind of a big question to answer, so i hope this helps!

[14dayswithyou]

Meowdy Saint! ^^ lolol hello hello o/ hope you are doing good!!

So this masterpiece of a game has been invading my mind with ZERO chill lately which directly translated to me coming up with a TON of questions orz I really didn't realize how many I ended up compiling lol

If you don't feel like answering this many please feel absolutely free to ignore this ask or only answer the ones you like the most, the last thing I want is for you to feel overwhelmed! ^^

ALRIGHT LET'S-A GO

-do Rendacted's memories remain intact when he resets the day or do his wipe too with everyone else's? Also is there an in-universe answer for why he has these glitchy powers or is he just Built Different™?

-if angel made it VERY clear that they would be mad asf and prolly even start hating and leave Ren/[REDACTED] if he were to hurt their friends(or killing people bc this man needs to chill fr), would he listen to them? Bc I know that if he touches Violet, Elanor, Kiara or god forbid Moth I'm personally deleting his kneecaps 🥰

-since it seems to me that Ren/[REDACTED] is only kinda meh at cooking I was wondering if he actually made the not burnt pancakes in day 3 or if he had some store bought ones that he passed off as his own lol

-does he know how to give massages? :00

-during day 1, how did Ren come up with a book on the local flora?? It seems like such a random topic to pick when put on the spot without already having a genuine interest in it lmao

-if I understood correctly Maple should be Jae's dog right?? Did you have a specific breed or age in mind when creating her? I got curious because in my head she automatically popped up as a young australian shepherd to match with Jae's hyperactive dumbass energy lol❀⸜(˶´ ˘ `˶)⸝❀

-staying on the dog topic lol, in day 1 when angel gets up from the couch to get Ren the inflatable mattress(iirc) and he follows right behind them i immediately thought he acted like a puppy lmao. So would he mind being called 'puppy' as a pet name?

(I am not sure if this⬇️ questions falls under character deaths, if it does I really apologize and absolutely feel free to ignore it ^^)

-from an ask from last year it seems [REDACTED] would ultimately kill angel if there was ultimately not way to enter in their life?? Gotta say I was very taken aback by this, would this still be the case after a year of building more to his character? (Ok I went back to check the ask again but I can't for the life of me find it anymore maybe I dreamt it up idk😭😭 im really sorry if that is the case jdkslajdl)

-uuhh I know there is already a lot in this ask(im seriously sorry orz), but I was wondering if we will eventually get an SFW alphabet for Ren/[REDACTED] for the folks who don't care about the nasty 👉👈

-THIS IS THE LAST THING I PROMISE 👹 will there be a guide to get all the endings? I'm not sure if there is one already and in that case I missed it 100%

Also I find it ironic how the fandom is trying to find out every single aspect of Ren/[REDACTED]'s character the same way he must do with angel lmao

ALRIGHT THATS ALL IM SO SORRY FOR ASKING SO MUCH THE REN BRAINROT HOURS ARE SO REAL IM LOSING BRAINCELLS orz Remember to take care of yourself drink water and take breaks!! ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

(Also sorry if some phrases don't make sense, english isn't my first language as I am 🤌 lolol)

✦゜ANSWERED: Under da cut because this got long >:3

-do Rendacted's memories remain intact when he resets the day or do his wipe too with everyone else's? Also is there an in-universe answer for why he has these glitchy powers or is he just Built Different™? Ren's memories remain intact!! I mean... He remembers each time you get a bad end and sometimes says something different... >:3 There is also an in-universe reason as to why he has his abilities — I won't spoil anything, but his real name (along with River's and one other character) have a reeeeally big tell. But what this tell is is for me to know and you to find out >:3

-if angel made it VERY clear that they would be mad asf and prolly even start hating and leave Ren/[REDACTED] if he were to hurt their friends(or killing people bc this man needs to chill fr), would he listen to them? Bc I know that if he touches Violet, Elanor, Kiara or god forbid Moth I'm personally deleting his kneecaps 🥰 Ren (and by extension [REDACTED]) knows not to harm anyone if he knows you won't like it — and even then — he won't actively show that murderous side of him in the first place. To Angel, Ren is just a timid, normal guy.

-since it seems to me that Ren/[REDACTED] is only kinda meh at cooking I was wondering if he actually made the not burnt pancakes in day 3 or if he had some store bought ones that he passed off as his own lol Ren is actually good at cooking, he's just a bit out of touch since he doesn't normally cook for himself! It's normally microwave meals or takeout for him... ^^; And yes, Ren did burn and burn the pancakes in Day 3 — he was distracted by something on his phone :3

Bonus cut Day 3 content: I took out the scene where Ren started to profusely apologise for burning the pancake because he often had to cook when he was younger. Given the dynamic of his family and the environment he grew up in, Ren didn't have much room to make mistakes ;n; I cut this scene out because I felt bad ksgskd So y'all get to have flustered, happy Ren instead!!

-does he know how to give massages? :00 If that was one of Angel's interests or desires, then sure!! ^^

-during day 1, how did Ren come up with a book on the local flora?? It seems like such a random topic to pick when put on the spot without already having a genuine interest in it lmao Someone else likes flora too, and it sure would be funny if Ren (eventually) starts to mimic certain traits and interests of the person you have the highest affinity/relationship points with in order to make himself look more appealing… >:3c

-if I understood correctly Maple should be Jae's dog right?? Did you have a specific breed or age in mind when creating her? I got curious because in my head she automatically popped up as a young australian shepherd to match with Jae's hyperactive dumbass energy lol❀⸜(˶´ ˘ `˶)⸝❀ It was mentioned in Jae's lore post (I'll link it here once I find it), but Maple is a Labrador! (Leon would be Jae's Australian Shepherd hehe) In my mind, Maple is only 2 or 3 years old, but that wouldn't really fit the official timeframe... ^^; Jae adopted Maple during high school so he wouldn't feel lonely at home, and it's been over 6+ years since then.... hgdshjg

-staying on the dog topic lol, in day 1 when angel gets up from the couch to get Ren the inflatable mattress(iirc) and he follows right behind them i immediately thought he acted like a puppy lmao. So would he mind being called 'puppy' as a pet name? Angel affectionately calls Ren a puppy during the scene in Day 1 where they meet up after work, so that nickname definitely could work!

-from an ask from last year it seems [REDACTED] would ultimately kill angel if there was ultimately not way to enter in their life?? Gotta say I was very taken aback by this, would this still be the case after a year of building more to his character? (Ok I went back to check the ask again but I can't for the life of me find it anymore maybe I dreamt it up idk😭😭 im really sorry if that is the case jdkslajdl) aaa I think you might be mistaking that ask for something else? ;v; [REDACTED] would NEVER harm Angel in any capacity, and they're a very patient person. Even if it took decades for Angel to fall in love with him, they'll wait.

-uuhh I know there is already a lot in this ask(im seriously sorry orz), but I was wondering if we will eventually get an SFW alphabet for Ren/[REDACTED] for the folks who don't care about the nasty 👉👈 You're fine!! And I'm open to doing that! I'll add it to my list hehe

-THIS IS THE LAST THING I PROMISE 👹 will there be a guide to get all the endings? I'm not sure if there is one already and in that case I missed it 100% I've shared a spreadsheet that lists all the available choices, the points you earn from each of them, and the endings you can get — however it's only available on Discord and I don't really want to share it outside of the server and potentially put it in the hands of minors. Sorry!!

Also I find it ironic how the fandom is trying to find out every single aspect of Ren/[REDACTED]'s character the same way he must do with angel lmao Hehe >:3 There's a loooot of lore that won't ever be mentioned in the game (since it doesn't seem fitting/I don't see a reason to), so I'm happy to provide it here!

[gaysindistress]

Hiya ❤️ would you maybe do buck imagine for my bday tomorrow for me? I'd really need some distraction atm. One where you have a crush on each other but of course don't talk about it. Then one night you enter the living room all dressed up for a date and buck is totally flashed by you, until you ask for his opinion for it. When he realizes this is for another guy he gets all bad mooded and leaves. Then instead of your date, you head to Buckys room and decide to finally make a move and kiss him and admit your feelings, which leads to also sleeping together and lots of cute Bucky afterwards? 🙊

Hi babes!!! Im so sorry I didn’t reply to this sooner. I wanted to wait until I finished the fic before I answered. I left it more suggestive but there’s plenty of cute Bucky!!

Warnings: cursing and suggestive content

“I told you to stay back! Do you ever listen?” Bucky sneers when he spots a furry of black rush past him into the open courtyard.

“Yeah just not to you. I’ve learned to tune out your voice,"I plainly state back, tucking myself behind a cement pillar after making a mad dash across the courtyard.

“Would it kill you to put your ego aside for one mission? For…” he’s interrupted by the rain of bullets coming his way and he drops down to the ground, “Sam do you copy?”

“Loud and clear,” he answers through their earpieces, “It looks like there’s about five guys shooting at you. Want Redwing to take them out?”

Bucky’s nose flares at the mention of the godforsaken machine but concedes, “Cover her and I’ll do it.”

“Excuse me? I don’t need anyone’s…” a shriek cuts me short and the sound of my own bullets confirms that I do, in fact, need help and Redwing is on it within seconds, taking out the offended men.

“What was that?” Bucky tries not to sound mocking but it’s just too good of a moment to miss.

“Shove it, Barnes. You’re the one who doesn’t immediately think of his bionic arm because he’s right handed.”

“Sam you told her about that? That’s it. Both of you are fired when we get back.”

We chuckle at his false threat and focus on the task at hand; getting inside of the looming concrete building, extract the intel, and get out in one piece.

“Sammmmmmmmmm…”

The man glances up from the book he is reading at the sound of his name being drawn out, “yesssssss y/nnnnnnn?”

“I need to talk to you,” I nervously whisper, twisting around to see if anyone is in the room. Slipping his bookmark into the book, Sam sets it down and sits back against the couch, gesturing for me to take a seat.

“I swear to god if this has to be with robo cop, your free therapy sessions will come to an end,” he teased me but comes off harsher than he intended and he cringes when my face falls.

“Oh it’s okay. I’m sorry to bother you,"I quickly try to recover the social blunder I’ve made but he grabs my wrist and tells me to sit my ass back down.

“You’re not bothering me and you know better than to take me seriously,” he gently chides me as he pulls me into his side, “what did he do now?”

Fingers twist in uncomfortable angles as I ring my hands together in my lap. Regret starts to fill me and pushes against me like the strong coastal winds, trying to shove me off of the couch and out of the room.

“Nothing. I just…I just hate it, ya know? I hate the whole shitty back and forth we have and how he’s always such an asshole but only to me. I hate that…” I trail off and lean my head on Sam’s shoulder, “I hate that I can’t just tell him how I feel. At this point just getting it off my chest is all I want; I don’t care if he feels the same. I wouldn’t even care if he rejected me, as long as I just didn’t have to live with this disgusting school girl crush.”

Sam chuckles, “have you tried talking to him?”

“We are talking about the same person here, right?”

Although I can’t see him, I can feel the eye roll and heat it in the sarcasm that drips from his voice.

“I will shove you off this couch, I’m trying to HELP you,” he jokingly pushes me away causing us to both laugh, “if you won’t talk to him, then why not move on?”

My laughter dies instantly.

Move on?

Move on?

Move fucking on?

“It’s not that simple,” I snipe at Sam and he hisses from the fake burn of my words.

“It was a suggestion. You don’t have to listen to it,” he says with mock defensiveness.

Another fit of laughter overcomes us and I fall into his lap, completely unaware of how this might look to others. That is until we hear a snort of disgust from the doorway.

The owner?

The one and only Bucky Barnes.

I scramble off of Sam and clear my throat, embarrassed that Bucky walked past.

“Come on, Sam. You can do better than her,” he says with a scowl before striding down the hallway again.

Sam’s jaw tenses and he’s muttering to himself as he stands, taking off after the super solider. He pauses at the door, “I’m sorry for him.”

“It’s fine,” I mumble but it’s not convincing enough.

“No it’s not and I’m going to kick his ass for it. And for the record I think you should at least try and date other people.”

I give him a small smile as he turns and takes off after Bucky, shouting the whole way that he better be ready to get his ass whopped.

Try and date other people.

Try and date other people.

Try and date other people.

It feels deeply wrong to even think about dating other people but Bucky clearly isn’t in a place to even hear my feelings for him.

I pull my phone out and open the most god forsaken app to ever exist; Tinder.

The profile that Yelena and Natasha helped me make has several matches and unread messages but I haven’t had the heart to respond or even open them. Scrolling aimlessly, I pick someone random and message him back.

I have to at least try no matter how loud my heart is screaming at me.

Nelly Furtado and Megan Thee Stallion have been on repeat for the last three maybe four hours. I’m sure everyone is annoyed and would be banging on my door, shouting at me to turn it off if Sam hadn’t told literally every single person in the tower that I had a date. Tony clapped me on the shoulder, congratulating me for getting out there while Yelena and Natasha demanded to know every detail about this mystery man. I promised Sam that I wouldn’t forget this and he better be ready to lose next time we spar during training. His usual smile dropped as the fear of god struck him. Well the fear of ME struck him.

Smoothing my dress down, I cock my head at my reflection in the mirror. I have to admit that I look stunning in the simple fitted dress that Natasha practically ordered I wear. It’s a tie dye pattern of cream and red with thin straps and a scoop neckline that shows off the star pendant necklace that Tony and Pepper gave me when I first moved in. A “welcome to the tower and good luck” gift as he put it with a teasing smile. Simple hoops line my ears and two matching bracelets adore my wrists however the simplicity of my outfit feels over the top. I’d changed my shoes about 40 times and settled on a pair of tan platform sandals but something is nagging at me to change again.

I check the time and curse under my breath when I see that I need to leave in 5 minutes, which certainly isn’t enough time to change everything. The thought of canceling occurs to me but I know I’ll never hear the end of it.

Checking my reflection one last time, I grab my phone and shove it in my purse before leaving my room. Normally I’d be able to tell if someone was in the common living room but I’m too distracted by hyping myself up for this date to notice that there is someone sitting on the couch.

A certain asshole who never fails to piss me off but also makes me fall for him even more to be exact.

I come to a halt when I feel his presence and duck behind the wall, praying he didn’t see me. Peaking my head out, I’m relieved that he hasn’t and my heart clenches at the sight. Bucky looks so peaceful sitting on the couch dressed in a hoodie and joggers with a well loved book in his lap. Although his hood is pulled up, his ruffled hair peeks out, having grown longer and longer with each passing day. When I first met him, he was damn near bald with his short cropped hair but he’s let it grow long enough that he has to push it back every now and again. I jokingly offered him a hair tie during training one day after I saw how frustrated he was getting with it. He snatched it from me with a grumble and sported a unicorn hair for the remainder of training. Sometimes I think I see that black hair tie on his wrist but he’s all too eager to get away from me for me to properly look.

“I can feel you staring, pervert,” his voice cracks from not being used in hours and I flinch at the sudden noise.

“I’m not staring,” I weakly mumble and step back into the living room.

He hasn’t looked up from his book, still reading the pages as he speaks to me, “yes you were.”

I roll my eyes and stick my tongue out at him which of course, he somehow sees. It’s beyond me how he can literally sense everything except for my feelings towards him.

His piercing eyes flicker up at me for a brief moment and back to his book before doing a double take.

“Where are you going?”

His question catches me off guard and I scowl at him, “what are you? My dad?”

His jaw twitches but he says nothing.

Satisfied that I got the best of him, I push my luck and ask him, “how do I look? Would you want to go on a date with me?”

Apparently that’s a big fucking mistake because he’s up and storming out of the room like a fucking child without a single word.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I mumble under my breath and go after him, “Barnes! I asked you a question, don’t you know it’s rude to storm off and not answer when someone asks you something?”

The behemoth of a man still says nothing as he continues to stomp down the hall.

“Bucky!” I shout at him and he stills right at his door. His left hand is gripping his door knob and I can hear it crumble under its strength. He doesn’t turn to look at me. No no he turns his head just enough to side eye me as he spits out, “fuck off, Y/N.”

The use of my first name takes me back. He never calls me y/n, not even when he’s furious with me for not falling orders. It’s always my last name, Agent, or some rude nickname and on very rare occasions when he’s flirting with me to be a dick, doll.

“Excuse me?” I scoff at him, crossing my arms over my chest.

“I said fuck off,” he grits out as he rips the door open and tries to slam it shut but my hand stops him.

“You don’t get to talk to me like that, no matter how much you hate me. What is your deal anyways? All I did was ask if you liked my outfit which shouldn’t matter to you anyways,” I tell him as I shove into his room. It’s his turn to be taken aback and he stumbles backwards when I push through.

“You’ve made it very clear that you despise me and I, for the life of me, cannot figure out why,” my pent up frustration and anger come spilling out as I continue to tell him off, “I was nothing but kind and friendly when I first got here but you? You were a dick from day one and only to me! You didn’t treat Yelena or even fucking Sharon that way. It was just me and it got worse! Oh my god it’s gotten so much worse and whether or not you want to believe it, I’m a person who has feelings! I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve cried in the shower because of you. It got so bad that I would cry myself to sleep like a fucking idiot and someone had to sit with me until I fell asleep so I wouldn’t throw myself into a goddamn panic attack. Poor Sam almost moved in because he was the only one that could calm me down. Did you know that?”

He’s staring at me with wide eyes but not a single emotion crosses over them. It makes me unbelievably angry that my outburst doesn’t even phase him.

So I keep going, “and you want to know the worst part? The day I got here, Tony was showing me around and he brought me into the kitchen where everyone was eating. You were there, flirting with Sam just to piss him off but you looked so happy. You were laughing and smiling so much that Tony, fucking Tony made a comment about how that was the happiest he’d seen you in a while. You hadn’t seen us yet but when you did, you gave me that charming Brooklyn smile and it was all over for me. From that single smile, I knew I was screwed because I’d caught feelings for you. Not that it mattered though because within a matter of hours, you lost that smile and were so awful. I tried so hard to make you like me but nothing. If anything it made you hate me even more but no matter what, I’ve always had these…feelings for you that I don’t want anymore. I don’t want to look at you and feel my heart breaking because you don’t feel the same way. I don’t want to pick apart every person I talk to because they’re not you and I hate that they’re not. I don’t want to cry to Sam about how it feels like a piece of me is dying when I’m not around you but you want nothing to do with me. I don’t want to feel like this anymore, Bucky. I can’t… I can’t feel like this.”

By the end of my confession, the tears I swore I would never shed again have fallen. They ruin the makeup I spent an hour putting on, pretending it was a date with Bucky because thinking about Miguel makes my skin crawl. I know I look like a mess but I don’t care. I’ve said my peace finally and while it’s embarrassing and I know I’ll regret it later, it’s done. Maybe now I can move on or at least find comfort in knowing that I won’t have to face Bucky again and live with these disgusting unrequited feelings.

He’s still said nothing, hasn’t moved or otherwise acknowledged that he’s heard me. He just stands there, staring at me with a clenched jaw and completely still. The only noises that fill his room are my sniffles and the subtle whirring of his arm as he clenches his hands into fists.

Of course he wouldn’t say anything. Why would he? It’s not surprising but hurtful regardless because I would’ve hoped he’d find a shred of kindness to show me under all of that hatred.

I shake my head as I turn to leave, unable to deal with him and with the fact that I’m now late for my date. My phone buzzes and I’m greeted with a rather rude message from Miguel about how unattractive it is that I’m late and didn’t even give him a heads up. It takes everything in me to not scream as loud as I can and throw my phone against the wall. Instead I settle for angrily shoving it back into my purse while more than a few foul words fall from my lips.

A cold metal hand clasps onto my wrist as I pull open the door and I look down at it in shock.

“I don’t know what to say,” Bucky whispers, his grip gentle but inescapable all the same. I want to tear myself away but he’s touching me. My heart begins to pound at the connection between us and I let out a shuttered breath.

“You can start by apologizing for how you talked to me,” I manage to say with a voice that is steadier than my breathing.

“I’m sorry, doll. Not just for that but for everything. I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I’m sorry I made you cry and made you think I hated you. I’m sorry I ever treated you the way that I did. No one deserves that and especially not you,” he says in a low voice while slowly closing the distance between us. His hand slides up my arm until it rests on my bicep and he asks for me to come closer too with a soft squeeze.

“I know actions are louder than words and if you’ll let me, I will do anything you ask of me to make it up to you. All you have to do is ask, doll and I swear I’ll do it,” his voice cracks with emotions that I never thought he could feel. Tears brim his eyes as he looks at me with such hope that I feel my own threaten to start falling again.

“No,” it shocks me just as much as it shocks him. His hand loosens and falls to his side.

“No,” I breathe out, “I can’t…that’s….Bucky I just admitted that I’m in love with you and that’s all you have to say? I appreciate the effort but it’s not…no it’s not enough.”

“You’re in love with me?”

Disbelief laces his words and I let out a scoff because he can’t be fucking serious right now.

“Don’t… don’t make me say it,” I stammer over my words as my sobs get caught in my throat.

He blinks at me for a moment before repeating it more to himself than me, “you’re in love with me.”

I wait with bated breath as he processes the revelation. He takes a sudden step forward and I take one back out of habit. Pain explodes onto his face as he steps back again and I swear to god I’ve never felt my heart break as much as it is now.

“Don’t play with my emotions, Bucky,” I hiss, the words harsher than I intend

“Jesus fuck,” he mutters while running a hand through his hair, “do you really think I’d do something like that?”

An answer materializes on my tongue but I can’t say it and he learns it from the struggle in my eyes.

“Wow, I…I can’t believe that you think that low of me.”

“No, I don't because I think the world of you.”

He shakes his head, “don’t play with my emotions either, doll.”

“Considering that I don’t know what they are most of the time, I don’t think I could even if I tried.”

There’s a shift in the tension and I can’t place what. Bucky straightens his shoulders and looks at me with a new intensity. He attempts another step in my direction and when I don’t back away, he begins to prowl towards me.

“I’m not good with words.”

“Trust me I’m aware.”

“I haven’t been able to think about my own wants and needs until recently.”

He backs me into the door but stays a foot or so away from me.

“Where are you going with this?” My voice is whinier than I’d hoped and I pray to god he doesn’t notice.

But he does and the smile that hooked me in the first place overtakes his face.

“Anywhere you want me to, doll. If you want me to give you space, I’ll give it to you even though it’ll break me,” he whispers seriously, “If you want me to grovel until we’re both old and forget why, I’ll gladly get on my knees for you right now. If you want me to show you how I feel, all you have to do is say yes.”

Hesitation creeps up on me because I know what I want and what I want is not what I need.

“Yes.”

Bucky takes the final steps and pins me against the door, both arms caging me in so I have nowhere to go. My hands fly up to his shoulders as he leans in, not quite letting our lips touch.

“I’m in love with you too,” he whispers against my lips before his descends upon mine. I half expected him to devour me but it’s unhurried, slow and languid as our lips move in sync. I can feel his love in the way that his tongue slides against my bottom lip before slipping in. He’s gentle with me as his hands move to cradle my head and pull me impossibly closer. He's apologizing for the tears and angst I’ve felt as my phone rings and he silences it without breaking our kiss. He’s showing that he’ll spend as long as it takes to show his love for me as he urges me to wrap my legs around his waist and takes me to his bed.

My phone rings again and he lets out a frustrated growl as he breaks our kiss to answer it. He rolls his eyes at the name that flashes and presses the answer button with a little too much aggression.

“Hello?”

I can’t hear what Miguel says but Bucky’s replies are very clear.

“This is her boyfriend.”

“Since when? Since right fucking now.”

He hangs up and tosses my phone to the other side of his bed.

“Boyfriend, huh?” I tease however it falls short when he dips his head to my neck, licking and sucking at my skin.

“Have a problem with it, doll?”

“Not at all.”

[fairykazu]

WISH UPON A STAR FT. SCARAMOUCHE ! cws: best friends, mutual pining, requited, fluff, modern au, teens, gn!reader notes: guess what they wished for. this has been in my drafts since forever. so sorry about that. masterlist | moonflower masterlist taglist: @ainnofinway @lovemari @lily-lmao @aethion

it was friday and it was usually the days where you and scaramouche hang out and relax from school, which is almost always turn into a sleepover. both of you were in his room, underneath a blanket fort. leaning on scaramouche's shoulder, you yawned, "scara, did you know it's going to have a meteor shower tonight?"

he shrugged you off, your head hitting the pillow besides his torso, "really?" he liked how you didn't mind that your head hit the pillow, instead resting nicely on his shoulder. he didn't want you to know that he actually liked it.

you nodded your head, boring your eyes into his indigo lensed ones. he turned around quickly, ignoring your gaze as his ears burned. "when?"

"around 11:50, i think." ignoring his antics, you answered, smiling. "i hope we would see it by then, if your mom lets us."

"don't worry, she will."

he replied quickly as you furrowed your brow, "are you sure? how would we even see them?" as long as you could remember his mother is protective over him, but luckily, not to a point where she's overbearing. regardless, she hates when scaramouche gets rebellious which is bad for her since he likes to rebel whenever he can. you try your best to prevent it, but you end up wrapped into whatever he wants to do.

his answer was blunt, as sharp as a newly forged sword, "sunroof."

you scrunched up your face, scaramouche likes when you do that. it's funny to see your reaction to his seemingly careless replies. "the sun roof? seriously?"

it's clear that you aren't taking him seriously, maybe it's time to amp it up a bit.

he confirmed it and took it a bit further by crawling out of the fort to point up. he could hear the blankets rustle behind him while you crawled out of the fort from the tiny opening. looking where he was pointing at, you wanted to cry. despite his family being rich, his mom liked to spend it rarely, making sure it goes to the right places, which is smart. she is smart but man, how could you guys even see the stars from this one-by-one square?

well, not really one-by-one, but it's big but not big enough to see every star that's possible to see with the human eyes. you wanted to cry but instead you turned around, hearing scaramouche's chuckles. "did you really believe me?"

your frown pressed into a thin smile, "what?" you were in disbelief because not only did he lie, he's laughing at you. wow, rubbing salt in the wound is really cruel.

he liked to pull pranks or jokes on you because your reactions are almost always funny to watch. but seeing the doubt set into your face, it made him feel a bit guilty. so he decided to uplift your spirits instead."im lying! of course, i won't make you watch it from this window because this-" he drew a rectangle with his fingers. "- is too small for you. when it's around the time, let me know and i'll show you how we'd watch it."

"what?"

"i just know a place."

when he said, 'i just know a place', you didn't expect it to be on the roofs of the house and how you got there? you don't even know nor remember. it kind of just happened within a blink of an eye.

scaramouche was chuckling to himself quietly as you looked at him, dumbfounded. no one in this house ever discovered that he had dug up tunnels and pathways in secret. so of course, he had a pathway to go up the roof. is this really true?

kind of. mikoto figured it out it was him but despite it, she never tattletale on him so it's technically a secret. if you ask him why he did it, he'd just smirk but in reality, he was a devoted liv and maddie fan.

you two sat on the roof, where scaramouche laid out a blanket for the both of you. scaramouche threw up pillows in which you caught, "are you comfortable?"

"as comfortable as a person can be on a roof."

"good enough." scaramouche replied, climbing up and adjusting the corners of the roof. you're just happy that he didn't make you sit on the slanted roof but instead, where he had his hideout on the flattest part of the roof.

you took two of the pillows and set them down. scaramouche immediately hogged both of them as you frowned, "that was two for two of people sitting here..." you pointed to yourself and then him. "two people, scara. me and you."

"...uh huh, i'm following?"

"you're insufferable." you replied as your face lit up. "wait."

"what? what are you doing? you're making me scared."

you pretended to stretch your back as you declined on him, resting full body weight on scaramouche. "humph! what are you doing??"

"you're a hogger, you know that? this is what you get and you can't push me off." you said, expecting him to fight back or roll you off gently. but instead, you hear,

"fine. what time is it?" thank god, he changed the subject because you wouldn't have known how to continue it after he agreed with your antics for once. "around 11:40."

"good, we can wait out here then."

"good..." you glanced everywhere but where he was. "scara, i don't think your roof may not be the safest place for us to stargaze." you said, recalling your complaint from earlier.

scaramouche lifted himself up as he watched for you if you fell, his hand near your head in case you did. "either this or the sunroof."

"thank you for blessing me with the opportunity to see this beautiful night sky, scara!" you replied quickly as he hid his chuckle.

waiting for ten minutes just to pass away is taking forever, scaramouche thought as he annoyed you by poking you. it was easier to just watch paint dry than wait for the incoming meteor shower. but he looked at you while you began to fight back with his poking by poking him back, it was worth it.

"scara! the stars!" you jolted up as scaramouche pulled you back into his embrace. when you turned to his face, he explained, "i don't want you to fall down and die. i don't want to be linked to your death, how would i go to the ivy league colleges now?"

"uh huh."

but did you really care? no... you rested your head against his chest, noticing how his heartbeat was increasing. you wanted to make fun of him, but you didn't want him to notice so was yours; you kept your mouth shut.

you asked, as he was tapping your arm, "scara, isn't the stars so beautiful?"

scaramouche agreed with you but not for reasons you may think. as you looked at the stars, he looked at you.

"wait, scara! wish on the stars."

"that's so childish."

"but i heard they come true!"

"... fine but im not doing it because you said so."

"i know, don't worry."

[mrsnancywheeler]

i’m actually giggling and kicking my feet rn

Finnick and his sweet girl are at the beach together, just relaxing in the warm sands of District 4. we all know Finnick LOVES to plat readers hair, so of course, that is what he is doing. he is plating a strand of his sweet girls hair, one of the front pieces if that makes any sense. Reader is just fiddling with some shells as he finishes up that small little braid, but he had to add a finishing touch.

One of the sea shells he found for you.

it is one of the ones that’s kinda swirly and pointy if that makes sense (i’m so sorry it’s actually 1am rn). he somehow finds a way to make it fit perfectly at the end of the small braid without it falling off and it looks absolutely ethereal on her😭

all he can do is just stare at his sweet girl in awe and with a massive grin as he’s now found his favourite hairstyle on her.

every. single. morning. he would ask to do that hairstyle, because she just looked so perfect. it was bonus that he also got to sit real close to his sweet sweet girl and let his fingers work his magic in her hair. he’s so proud of himself every time <3

(i’m also convinced that platting/braiding her hair is the only thing Finnick doesn’t teach reader. he will happily teach her knots, but hairstyling? no. that’s his job. it’s his job so he can sit so close to her for a long time and do one of the many things he is good at. so he can stare at his gorgeous girl and appreciate her beauty to the fullest- thanking the stars that he was blessed with an angel who shines brighter than all of the stars combined in the universe <3)

goodnight yall im actually a bit too in love with him for my own good😭

stop this is adorable, I'm so obsessed, and so deeply in love with him 💕💕💕

finnick is someone who always needs his hands occupied and so being able to do plait his sweet girls hair just makes him so giddy. the first time he's able to, it's a guarantee he will never stop. he's got such precise, nimble fingers that it barely feels like he's there at all except how relaxing it is. when he's got that shell in, he's convinced she's actually some beautiful sea goddess he's been blessed with, she's so radiant to him.

he's peppering her face with kisses and would spend all day on the beach getting each strand of hair if allowed. which is so tempting with how sweet and eager he is. and yes literally every morning-

reader is getting all ready for the day and about to leave the bedroom and finnick's looking at her confused from the bed

"what's wrong finn?"

"can I do your hair, angel?" he's got those big puppy dog eyes and she lets him which instantly has him grinning. he gets to see every small detail of her as he goes and be so close, it's like heaven to him. so it just becomes a daily routine.

"you know, if you like it that much I don't mind learning, love, I'll be able to do it so you don't have to-"

"no," he's so quick and defensive about it because he just loves it so much. it feels so intimate and blissful to him. "I do it because I love too, sweet girl, I want to."

"so you're seriously not going to teach me?"

he's kissing her on the nose, "just need you to sit there and be my pretty girl, which you need no lessons on."

I'm so in love with finnick odair y'all, he's so sweet and warm and literally perfect 💋💋💋

[muzicgenerator]

Hey, can I request an angst story with Bill and reader (the reader is female) abt crazy fans please? Like them (Bill and the reader) admitting somewhere (idk maybe in an interview for a magazine) that they almost broke up because of that (maybe reader's fanbase is known for being "too much" sometimes like following the reader everywhere, being so in love with her etc)

(Also could the story take place in the 2000s please?)

Goodbye 👋

i like this one im actually excited abt writing this one shot

btw im so sorry for late reply AHSJHFKDHDK please expect ill take like AT LEAST a week to answer yalls request bc im busy as hell w school 😭😭 love u guys pls understand

and again this aint entirely proof read

⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒

Too Much?

✮

Pairing: Bill Kaulitz x Fem Reader

Genre: Angst, Mostly fluff

Warnings: Stalking, mention of nonconsensual touching, very embarrassing storytime from bill

Request Status: closed :(

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧✮ I'm Not Okay (I Promise) : My Chemical Romance

(Time set back in late November of 2007)

Being a famous actress since as a child was unbelievably tough.

You had worked so hard and expertly; you didn't even have time to spend your childhood properly.

Just at the age of 19 and you've finished numerous movies and series. A true self-made millionaire, really.

You and your ravenette boyfriend are currently doing an interview for a night show.

"So ____, wow! After a long pause from doing films you're finally gonna have one showing soon! How is it like? Being back and all; being the talk of the country."

In the past one and a half year you hadn't done any projects since you've decided to take a break for yourself. And now you're once again busy taping with film staff and directors for your new and upcoming Teenage Romance movie.

Rest assured it's not your typical boy-meets-girl or vice versa and they do sappy sweet stuff and get together kind of film; it has its own uniqueness that will surely be called as "One of 2000s greatest Teen Romance movies of all time."

"Oh, I feel great Hanna. I had a deserving break and I'm back to doing one of the things I love most. I'm even happier because I got my lover and his band to sing the theme song for the movie." You truthfully answered and chuckled by the end of your statement.

"How about you Bill? How are things with your band?" Hanna included Bill to the conversation.

At that, he smiled politely. "Everything's great with us y'know, we're still together and all. Which I'm grateful for."

After a few more minutes for pep talk; the blonde interviewer finally decided to get onto the exciting part of the show.

"And now, for the moment we've all been waiting for! Dunk Tank!" Hanna smiled widely at the selected crowd.

"Where in this game; you will pick someone from the crowd who will accompany you with this game.

Your selected teammate will ask any question they want; to which you will answer, and if you don't want to then they'll get a chance to throw a ball on the target. Where if they hit it, you'll fall down the tank."

Hanna excitedly announced despite having done this for the nth time.

"____ and Bill, play Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who goes first."

You knew you'd beat Bill since every single time you played it - he'd miserably lose.

"Oh, I'm confident in winning this one!" you proudly say.

"Just because you've beat me all the other times we played this, doesn't mean I'll lose now!" Bill accepted your challenge and laughed.

He was right. He won for the very first time.

"Oh my God! Did I seriously win?!" your black clothed boyfriend exclaimed.

"I only let you win this time because I felt sorry." you playfully rolled your eyes with a smirk.

"Whatever, I'm gonna choose now." he giggled and stepped closer to the crowd.

His fan girls were screaming at the top of their lings, begging to be chosen by him.

No, you weren't jealous. Not one bit. Sometimes Bill would even complain about you not being possessive of him from time to time and would think you're not as in love as he thought.

It's cute, really. Then you'll show him how much you love him through actions rather than words.

Bill chose a girl who seemingly looked two or three years younger.

The joyous girl screamed in surprise; "Oh my god! What?! Me??! SERIOUSLY??"

It made Bill giggle, "Yes, you! Now get down here!"

A body guard helped the girl down; and when she was no longer at the stairs she rushed Bill to hug him but abruptly stopped. "Hi oh my god you're more beautiful up close! Can I hug you?!" she says excitingly.

It made your heart flutter just how kinder your boyfriend's fans are compared to yours.

To say your fan base is crazy is an understatement. Many would harass you through nasty words or touching you with no consent; it didn't matter if they did that out of how much they "love" you, it was still disgusting.

"Um, yeah. Sure!" he hesitantly looked at you; his eyes asking for permission. To which you subtly nodded.

Again, your heart melted by how he's making sure you're okay with it. Honestly, you very much understood that being famous would mean people wanting to hug you or any form of physical contact. Plus, it's not like you can say no to Bill from hugging a fan; you'd be a scandal. And you knew Bill wouldn't have any other choice as well.

He wrapped an arm over her shoulders while she fully embraced him. Okay, you're a teensy bit jealous especially by the way she's holding him like he's her man.

But that was soon washed away when she turns to you.

"Hi! What's your name sweetie?" Hanna asked and put a mic on her mouth.

"My name is Pauline!"

Before Hanna could say anything further, Pauline beat her to it.

"____!! I'm such a big fan of you too! I've been watching your movies since forever." saying she's over the moon is definitely an understatement! This will definitely be a core memory.

Almost immediately you wrapped your arms around her back and squeezed her. This girl is definitely one of the most respectable and sweetest fan you've ever met.

Was it really low? Yes.

The audience cheered by how sweet you and Bill had been to the girl and by how jealous they were.

As Bill and Hanna chattered about God knows what; the girl leaned closer to you in order to ask a favour which no one can hear.

"Can I ask you to shout out my brother? He has a huge crush on you!"

"Sorry darling but we're in the middle of a show right now. How about later I ask the staff to send you to the backstage? Then I'll give him my magazine with an autograph, and if you have a camera with you - you can video me saying hi to him!" you came up with a resolution.

Was it over the top? You didn't know and you didn't care. You're just fleeting with joy by how this girl isn't like any other of your fans.

"Seriously? You'd do that for me and my brother?" she gasped.

"Well, yeah. I mean it's not always that I have such nice interactions with people who are a fan."

"Okay lovebirds what are you two talking about there?" Hanna teased with a smirk and Bill playfully pouted.

"Nothing, nothing" you laughed and held Bill's arm as the crowd laughed and cheered.

"If you say sooo." she replied. "Alright, your turn to pick!"

You carefully looked around the crowd and walked five steps of the stairs to get a better view of the people on the back. A fifteen year old boy was holding a banner stating "Bill's No.1 Boy", it was cute, really. So you planned to steal your boyfriend's fan! (this a joke dont hate reader pls)

"The ginger at the back with the banner please." you said to the mic.

The boy squeeled in delight and threw his banner somewhere before running down to you. Your arms opened for an embrace which he immediately jumped into.

"What's your name?" you put the mic to his mouth as you both carefully went down the stairs and back to the stage.

"Sam, I'm Sam! My name is Sam!" his rather high pitched voice said.

"Okay, Sam. I know you're Bill's fan so I'm gonna have to steal you, that okay?"

"Hey, no fair!" Bill patted the boy's head and shot a smile at him.

This moment for him is definitely a core memory and will brag about it to every living human he sees.

"Now, who wants to go first in the tank?" Hanna asked.

"I'll do it" Bill says excitingly.

They agreed and the staff helped him get up. Once he were seated and adjusted in the circular surface; he challenge you.

"Ask a good one!"

"Ohohoo, we definitely will!" you smirked.

You turn to Sam and ask him without the mics near your faces; "What're you gonna ask your idol?"

"Oh uhmm, I don't really know." he says bashfully.

"Maybe his most embarrassing moment?"

"That'll work, definitely." you smile supportively and fist bumped him.

"Bill, you read?!" Hanna exclaimed.

"Born ready!!"

"Alright Sam, ask away!"

"What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you?" Sam asked with twinkles in his eyes.

"Oh, definitely when me and ____ weren't dating yet; she threw a sleepover party and she invited me and my mates, and there were three bathrooms, right? The three were being used and in one of those bathrooms it was Tom using it, and I had to rush him because I really needed to take a shit, like I couldn't hold it any farther!

So he went out really pissed and I pushed him off the door and quickly shut it and went right into business."

Bill paused and tried to compose himself as the crowd started to get louder.

"And when I washed and pushed the flush button - It wouldn't flush! So I got really scared because I just shit in my crush's toilet and I can't let anyone know that I'm the one who did it. So i looked around and saw a pack of pads so I took one of them; and forced myself to dip my hand down to grab it and I almost puked!

I look around and see there's no trash bin. So I panic again, and eventually decided I'll just rush down to throw it in the garbage in her garage. I quickly make a run for it and almost bumped into ___"

He now covered his hands in shame and embarrassment. "And she saw the pad in my hand! So she asked me like, 'Is that a pad?' and I'm like yes and so she asks whose it is...... and I said it's mine....."

You know of this story long ago; and it just gets better and better whenever you think or hear of it.

The audience and interviewer roared with laughter; as well as the staff behind and securities who tried to contain their smiles.

"I wish I never asked!" Sam wiped his tears from laughing too hard.

"Get down here Bill! That was too much!" Hanna's cheeks started to hurt, "Sorry to the viewers who are eating."

Bill went down immediately and squeezed the living life out of you. He does this whenever he's feeling embarrassed or nervous, and calls it his "Physical Support" from you.

"You should've let yourself get thrown in the water!" you giggled and hugged him back before he pulled away with a red face.

"Next goes ____!"

Once you were seated and made yourself comfortable on the seat; you tell them you're ready.

It was Pauline's turn to question whatever she wishes. "____, what do you think of your fans?"

She asks sincerely; she must've noticed something by the way you're like to your fan base and to Bill's. A part of you wished she hadn't asked but you've been dying to let the creepers out there know that whatever they'd been doing to you for a long long time - greatly affects you, especially as a young stat growing up in this sort of industry.

You rarely held any meet and greet, rarely had photos with fans where you look actually comfortable and where they weren't touching your waist or hips or near your ass - and ones where you do look comfortable it was mostly with girls or kids, which was not as often as when you do with the rest; who are pedophiles and creepy boys.

Of course you've always been nice when interacting with them; you didn't want to be rude and only wanted to be kind.

Definitely, there were times when you couldn't take it and couldn't do anything about it - other than cry and complain in your lover's arms.

You're forever thankful to have someone like him; he'd always listen to whatever you say and support everything you do.

Not realising; you zoned out quite a bit and snapped out of it when Bill called out your name with worry that he's trying to mask from everyone.

"Oh-, well, obviously I love them so much, if it weren't for them I wouldn't have succeed this much - of course the people who helped me get up in this industry as well.

I truly do appreciate their love and support, seriously. But quite the number of them are uh, how do I say this." you nervously chuckled as everyone listened intently to the tea you're telling.

"Crossing my boundaries? Yes, uh- that." you say not quite satisfied with the word you chose. It was evident that it's worse than just that but the safest.

"We all know people would cross it by taking unsolicited pictures of you, that's given because you're a celebrity, but are there some other ways they would? If you don't mind me asking of course." Hanna carefully asked.

You smiled softly, "Well a few have stalked me to my house - which I dunno how the hell they did so and took pictures of me and they'd send it to me and tell me how they thought of me. Some leave love letters, flowers, food in front of my gate, sent death threats to my exes when I was dating them and even now to my Bill." you left the worse parts out since you didn't want half of the world to be talking about your most private part of life. What you're even telling them now is a whole lot.

"Wow.. we all knew your fan base could get a bit crazy judging from all the videos we see and the news, but not by this much!" Hanna says empathetically.

"It happens, I guess." you try to laugh it off. However, Bill looked at your hues with his that sent the message of "Are you okay?"

In which yours replied with "I'm not okay."

✮✮✮

The game went on a for it was Pauline's turn to the dunk tank, then Sam's.

You continued your cheery self through the whole taping and told yourself you'll regret what you said later in your dressing room. Bill kept his distance close to you and would caress your hand or shoulder as a sign of support - as well as slipping a "How're you holding up?" every now and then.

If there were billions of ways to show gratitude to this man; you'd do every single one of it to him.

After the agonizing show was over; you and Bill kissed Hanna's cheeks as a goodbye and thank you. To which she said back to you both as well and wished to see you soon.

As you made your way to the dressing room in silence with your fingers intertwined with Bill's; you abruptly stop in your tracks.

"I almost forgot I have to sign a magazine for Pauline!"

Your lover looked confused for a second "What? Why?"

"I kinda promised Pauline I'll just sign a magazine for her brother because she asked me to shout him out while taping." you let a small huff and loosened your grip on your boyfriend's slender hand. "How about I'll see you later in the van? You can wait for me there instead if I haven't been back by five minutes."

Bill smiled, "Of course sweetheart, I'll see you later. Love you." he pecked your lips and lovingly looked into your eyes for a moment before heading to his dressing room.

Quickly; you asked a staff to bring Pauline to your dressing room to give her an autograph - to which they agreed to. Thankfully.

While they did that, you strided to your room and grabbed your magazine and marker - which immediately after doing so, a knock was heard on your door.

You hand held the paper as the other gripped the violet ink marker. When you did, you were greeted by a Pauline smiling widely with a camera on her right hand.

"Hi!" she says excitingly.

You greet back and quickly hugged her, "I see you have a camera with you."

"Oh, yes, uhm.. I was wondering if i can take a video of you signing an autograph? So my brother would believe me that it really is from you." she nervously giggled. "I might or might now have pranked him once by giving him a fake autograph."

"Yeah, sure. What's your brother's name?" you say softly.

"It's Percy." she answers as she readies her camera.

"Alright, is it rolling?" you ask with a smile on your face. Pauline says yes with a grateful smile; grateful for being how considerate and kind you are.

"Hi Paul! So I heard from your sister that you're a fan? Too bad you didn't come with her." you looked behind the camera to Pauline.

"And I heard she gave you a fake autograph of mine? Well now, you're getting a real one, and this is the proof." you say still giggling as you signed the magazine.

"There, and keep the pen. I gotta go now, bye and love you!" you say as you waved goodbye and gave your iconic kiss blow alongside a wink.

Once Pauline returned the camera back to her bag; she immediately thanked you.

"I'm serious - thank you thank you sooo much! And uh.. I'm really sorry if what I asked earlier was too personal. I really am. I was just curious and didn't thoroughly before it slipped my mouth." she noticed the change of the atmosphere long ago. Even if she's just fifteen, she knew how to read the room well.

"Aw, sweetie.. it's nothing." you pat her shoulder, "It's fine I tell ya, also I better get going - you should too, it'll get dark in just two hours. Bye bye and stay safe!" you wave goodbye as she still exclaimed thank you's as she walked backwards towards the exit.

(that footage is definitely gonna go viral after many years)

In a light speed; you gathered your essential belongings and had your personal assistant help you carry your other belongings to the van; to which Bill noticed through the windows that you're carrying back pack and a purse and immediately helped you despite having it under perfect control.

He opened the door for you and let you in first before him and closed the door. Your personal assistant sat in the passenger seat next to the driver, while you and your beloved were at the very back despite the space up front.

You rested your head on his shoulder and he put his above yours while he held your hand with both of his; tracing every outline, massaging it, and kissing it once in a while.

"R'you okay now?" Bill mumbled and kissed your head.

"Yes, hon. I'm great actually.. thanks so much for being there, I love you so much." you turn your head to face his and pecked his lips.

"I love you more than you'll ever know, I'm glad you're okay." he smiled genuinely and kissed you deep and passionate.

You returned to your head's original position and fell to sleep; not caring if tomorrow, you'll be the town's talk.

[almostfoxglove]

hey queen do you have any joel fic recs? can be au or canon long or short im just desperate for some joel fics lol

oh ho HO anon HELLO yes of course I do :,) I'll give you a variety of flavors so you've got some options. thank you so much for the opportunity to gush about some fics I love :,) these are in no particular order and I am 100% gonna miss brilliant ones because I have a terrible memory I'm so sorry

okay, let's start with SERIES!

I'll Never Get Out of This World Alive by Kiwicane on ao3 (ongoing series)

universe: canon universe, jackson!joel

flavor: ANGST holy fuck. also, incredible action sequences? like actually jaw dropping. and some... enemies to lovers? that's all I'll say!!!!

I actually cannot overstate how much this fic has me pinned to the fucking ground literally anytime I get a notification it's updated on ao3 I fucking RUN okay I run. it's so fucking good. THE TWISTS AND TURNS? you're not ready (you are please read it, it deserves so much fucking love)

Futureproof by @luxurychristmaspudding on tumblr (ongoing series)

universe: modern!au, actor!joel

flavor: girldad!famous joel starstruck by badass rockstar reader? yes I'll take 20.

the prologue for this just came out and FUCK I'm hooked. seriously, just buckle in. the vibes are immaculate, the world building's insane, and joel gets BOTH THIS DAUGHTERS??? I could cry.

Maintenance Request by @burntheedges on tumblr & ao3 (series complete)

universe: modern!au, hotconstructionguy!joel

flavor: fluff & FILTH just... trust me on this one. giddy rom-com feelings and absolute filth. but filth with love. AH

I literally rec this fic to anyone who gives me 0.2 seconds to talk about joel listen it's just. chef's kiss. the rom-com of my dreams.

Halcyon by @justagalwhowrites on tumblr & ao3 (ongoing series)

universe: modern!au, girldad!joel

flavor: childhood best-friends to lovers and s l o w b u r n PINING. so much fucking pining (my kryptonite)

this fic actually broke my brain I think. it is at once so sweet and tender and fucking heart wrenching. strap in for a slowburn but WOOF it's so worth it.

take me back to eden by skyspacelunar on ao3 (series complete)

universe: canon universe post-outbreak, smuggler/pre-jackson!joel

flavor: ANGST, enemies to lovers, TEARS

listen. listen. don't let the OC tag spook you away, this is so fucking good. delicious forced proximity, hate sex, then HEART EYES. there's violence, action, spice, LOVE, and goddamn tragedy. do it!

now... ONE SHOTS!

looking for the light by @sixhours on tumblr & ao3

universe: pre-outbreak!, brandnewdad!joel

flavor: angst with a happy ending, tiny baby 23 year old joel being a newly single dad to baby sarah

okay don't let the word count fool you, this one fuckin WRECKED ME (and put me back together? oh my god) my heart. I wanna hug him so fuckin bad. READ IT AND WEEP (but not in a vengeful way, in an angsty way)

until then by @studioghibelli on tumblr

universe: no-outbreak, priest!joel

flavor: ANGST angst angst. if you like fleabag.... wink!

bell wrote this for my angst challenge and it fuckin ruined me. ha ha HA it's so good. holy fuck. get ready for tears

hungry, lonely, violent by @dontloooknow on tumblr & ao3

universe: canon universe post-outbreak, jackson!joel

flavor: angst and fluff and smut. you get it all!

this is a BEEFY one shot (22k hell yeah) that has pretty much all you could ask for from sweet ol jackson!joel. the tenderness in this? off the charts. I do need him! biblically!

this has made me realize I need to read more joel one shots... oof! time to get through my tbr.

aaand I'm guessin since you're sending this you may already know about my joel fics, but just in case, I've got 3 ongoing series (one almost complete!) & 1 one shot

cover me up: jackson!joel (angst and smut and tenderness)

see you at three: no-outbreak au, young!joel (rom-comish, fluff and angst and eventual smut)

lock the gate: bostonqz!joel (angst, bitter allies to lovers, eventual smut)

I also have a bookshelf on my blog with shelves divided by characters, so you can also check out the joel miller shelf there (will include fics on my tbr list as well as ones I've read) this was so much fun. sorry it's long, but I hope you enjoy these!!

xx freya

[azulock]

Heyy hows your day/night been??

I saw your looking for reqs so i just thought why not?? and decided to req something for yolos. Also im not really used to sending in requests so i hope im saying the right things.

I was wondering if you could do like a headcanon of the bllk characters (your choice) with fem!reader when they see a familiar face. Like a previous one night stand ykwim?? But then that was like one of their most special moments or something like that.. SORRY im really bad at explaining but if you refer to the song 'A Night to Remember' by laufey and bea it might make it easier to understand..

if this request is way too hard to write about or uncomfortable for you, feel free to ignore it !! i just thought itd be a new idea:))

TY!!

Sorry for the time it took nonnie, this was a little hard for me to tackle, and you are totally fine sweetie, it's ok <3 This isn't much but I hope it is what you wanted, or at least matches a bit!

Kunigami

The one who doesn't wanna talk about it, he is over the whole thing of course but he feels bad for even remembering. It's not that he felt desire when he saw the person but the sense of nostalgia feels wrong for him. He feels like it shouldn't even cross his mind, really, so it feels to him like a betrayal of sorts. If you don't notice he lets it go, might mope a little bit but ends pretty quickly. But if you catch on and ask him he will tell you what's bothering him but will try to talk as little as possible.

Shidou

The one who will openly talk about it, no problem what so ever. There is a chance he wouldn't even notice the person, to be honest, but if he does, he really doesn't care that much, thinking of the past isn't for him. He doesn't consider talking about the past a problem and doesn't think that remembering something that was good is any type of betrayal. So long as he isn't desiring the person it's fine. If you ask he won't have a problem about telling you but he also might not think it could upset you. It doesn't come from a bad place, he is just blunt.

Nagi

Chances are he won't notice the person, no matter how good it was he isn't one to notice things or people unless they are straight up in front of him. But if he does notice he will probably take a while to actually remember, he'll feel like he should remember and it'll take a while for his brain to catch up. Just shows you that he doesn't care, sure it was great, but he has something else now, thinking of the past is a hassle. If you notice, he'll tell you what he is thinking about, might hesitate though, thinking that your reaction could be troublesome.

Reo

Another one who won't want to talk about it and feels bad for even noticing the person in first place, and remembering what they had as that good when he has you makes him feel a bit sick with himself. Really does make his insecurities flare up, the feeling that if he is even thinking about the past he isn't being a good boyfriend to you. Will try to compensate his anxieties by being an extra good boyfriend, which could alert you. If you ask him seriously he will answer, he's gonna tell you about it and be all apologetic as he does.

Oliver

Ok so Oliver is a special case, if he is still a trash bag, oh well, this isn't gonna go over well at all. But if he has matured over his slut era at this point, he won't care. He will laugh about it even. He's gonna remember, sure, but in that weird way where you feel like your past was so different that it's alien to you. Wouldn't have a problem telling you about it but will also say that it feels like a lifetime away from him. It will probably just work to leave him struck with the notion of how different he was before to what he is at the moment.

[v-anrouge]

My birthday is coming to an end and i really just wanted to thank you all for the love and kindness you've shown me everyday, especially today, in light of recent events realizing how much of a bad person i am and how many people ive hurt i started to wonder if i wasn't better off deactivating and never speaking to anyone here ever again save for a few people i at least knew weren't hurt by me. i talked to my dear friend Aru and talking to her allowed me to think more thoroughly about things, i also wrote some more on my journal, i still feel terrible and i still don't think i deserve to be treated and received with such kindness after everything ive done but seeing you all treat me like this really made me emotional, especially when i know i haven't been doing the same back to you all, im really sorry for how terrible i was and still am, as i am far from being healthy and only just started to try and get better, and i know some things will take very long to fix but i am very lucky to have found people like you all who are very understanding and supportive, the kind of people i usually push away because im scared ill hurt them someway (which proved itself true huh) but it also made me realize a few things. it's no use of me to ask for you opinions and after hearing deactivating and running away, i made many mistakes and i need to be here to own up to them, as well as to make it up for you guys in any ways i am able to, and that maybe just maybe i can make things right eventually and take this as a learning experience to live in a better way, i don't know when ill go back to posting passionately about my hyperfixations instead of just posting random things but i am gonna try because i have so many followers for very low quality posting, my college is finally gonna go on break so ill hopefully have some more free time to replay twst and analyse my favs deeper and understand them more and hopefully make some good posts like i used to

this got long and idk if it even makes sense but for the final part; thank you all for the support i seriously don't know what i did to deserve you guys but im really really happy to have you around, i promise to be better, thank you all for the birthday wishes :3c

[bluewhitehues]

Hug | Kim Mingyu

Summary: You secretly like your bestfriend chan,he has no idea and sets you up on a blind date with his friend and hyung Mingyu.

Genre: Angst? (Little bit), comfort, strangers to lovers, fluff

Pairing : Idol Kim Mingyu × (f) reader

Warning: mentions of anxiety

Part 3

The drive to your apartment was quite awkward, mingyu dropped you off and you guys parted ways saying bye.

There was a longing in Mingyu's heart.. he really had prayed and hoped that you both will get along, may be will go on few more dates to know each other . But alas that didn't happen.

After going home you showered and made yourself some quick dinner ...you were eating when you got Chan's call, at that moment all you wanted to do was curse at him shout at him so you picked up his call, " you should've told me if you had a death wish why pull such a stunt chan? " you were talking so calmly he got scared "hey why are you talking like that you're scaring meeee"

"YOU SHOULD BE SCARED CAUSE THE MOMENT I SEE YOU IM GOING TO KILL YOU, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU DID , YOU SENT ME ON A DATE WITH KIM MINGYU DO YOU KNOW WHO HE'S? LIKE YOU SHOULD'VE ATLEAST WARNED ME , IM NOT A CELEBRITY IM A NORMAL PERSON-"

He cut you off "FIRST OF ALL STOP SHOUTING..and what's wrong with it if he's a celebrity and you're not? I'm also an idol and you're bestfriends with me I don't see any problem here? And about the other thing ..y/n I'm really sorry I lied about it being a blind date but if I had told you you'd have said no.. he really likes you ,that idiot thought we both are a thing can you imagine lol, and then I guessed that he likes you and he didn't deny so I came up with this plan ...also he thought you knew and said yes to the date with him ,he didn't know okayy? He might be coming for me I'm so dead ...see.. I worked so hard for you and you're not even grateful-,"

You huffed loudly "Grateful my a$$.. you should not do this with anyone's feelings chan he must've felt so bad he thought I said yes and was all excited do you know how bad Im feeling?"

Now chan got alarmed , "hold on, why are you feeling so bad? WAIT TF UP DID YOU BY ANY CHANCE SAY NO TO HIM ??? I SWEAR TO GOD Y/N-"

And now in this one fine moment your pretty brain realised you gotta tell chan ..AND WHAT WILL YOU TELL HIM ???? OMG ...I said no to Mingyu because I like you? Because I like someone else? He knows literally everyone in your life and would not believe your lie and now you're freaking out you don't even have mingyu's number, what if you tell one lie and mingyu tells another you'd be caught right away so no you need to talk to Mingyu.

So you blurt out, "N-NOOO we just- we just went through it...AND OMG I'M REMEMBERING IT JUST NOW I left my purse in his car and I don't even have his number IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT send me his number right nowww" and you saved the moment just like that (you hoped it didn't sound too fake or extra)

Chan thinks something is fishy but thinks he'll find out anyway so he doesn't press you anymore.."you couldn't even ask for his number yourself seriously y/n you've got no game-" That brat thrives on teasing and annoying you.

"if you don't shut up and just send me his number right now you won't only have to worry about mingyu coming for you... sleep with one eye open cause I'm also coming for you-"

He laughs at you, " ok, okay let's all calm down..check your messages I sent the number..also you owe me full explanation and details tomorrow"

"whateverrrr bye."

"hey atleast tell me how was the date."

"NO.. someone once said *That's all you're getting* " you quoted his words from when you asked him about who is gonna be your date.

He whined about how that wasn't fair before you ended the call.

You were nervous as fuvk because what are you going to say to Mingyu it already feels bad enough but now you've to come up with a plan to tell chan. So before chan could go to Mingyu,you called him.

After dropping you off Mingyu went to his and wonwoo's shared apartment, where as soon as he entered wonwoo asked him about the date. Mingyu said it was okay, good, wonwoo then asked him why does he look so sad ..mingyu said he doesn't think it'll work out that's why ..and asks wonwoo to not to tell others about anything because he knew just like that all of them will know, that means chan will know as well and he promised you he would not let him know,he'll keep it a secret.

He was about to go to bed when you called him he was surprised but he picked up the call.

"uh Hello Mingyu? It's me y/n ...sorry ,did I disturb you?"

"Hey no you didn't ..what's up everything ok? "

"yeah everything's fine just uh Chan called me actually and I don't know what to tell him..I just I thought we should tell him the same thing so he wouldn't doubt ...I'm sorry I feel terrible to trouble you like this".

"I told you not to say sorry ..you can talk to me comfortably just how you talk to your friends it's ok .. "

"okay I won't say sorry again."

He smiled a little ..he has never talked to you that much, that too on call it's first time hearing your voice..he thinks you sound so sweet and he wishes he'd get to talk to you more often.."hmm that's good ..also about chan what options do we have?"

"if I say I like someone else he won't believe me so that's out of the option ..and If I say I said no he'll ask me the reason.." you sighed "I can't seem to find any reason to tell him"

"I see um then...we can just say we decided to be just friends? "

"that sounds good" you thought that's the safest answer.

"yeah soo.. is it ok for us to be friends? " He really wanted you to say yes .. he'd manage with just that.. being your friend.

You can't see him yet you can picture his hopeful eyes..."will you be ok?..with being my friend" You ask.

Mingyu thinks a little ..he thinks he'll take it as much as close he'll be able to stay with you he'll take it, it is dangerous but right now his heart,mind, soul everything just decides that yes they want it..

"Honestly, I've mostly seen you from distance yet I thought you were amazing so..I...I would like to be your friend and who knows someday you'll realise I'm hotter than chan and finally confess to me ..wow I would like to see that day." He's mischievously smiling right now and then he hears it your laugh..one of his most favourite things in the world ..he could hear it forever.

You laugh.."Mingyu seriously" he also laughs a little with you.

"I'd like to be your friend too mingyu but ...I know how it's like to be friends with someone you like..and I wouldn't recommend that ...it can be hard sometimes." You don't want to think about those moments again when you're trying to move on but you wouldn't want mingyu to feel like that as well.

He sighs," well I'm a tough guy " he's not...but he'd do anything to get to know you better ..he doesn't want to regret anything in his life.

"Ok then it's settled ... we're friends from now on"...you're smiling now

"yeah we are ...I like it" he's smiles softly.

.

.

Author's note: Hey everyone this is it for today, hope you enjoy it❤️

Part 4 👇🏻

[myballsyourballs]

so i see that requests are openn!! my first time requesting so please correct me if i said anything wrongjehd, i want one loonng fic (if u can obv) abt reader ranting to kaeya because she is rlly close to him (and she is dating diluc btw no romantic feelings between kaeya and reader) abt how she feels like she isn't good enough or at diluc's level and thinks it's unfair for diluc for her to stick with him and diluc overhears everything and they go back to dawn winery and have a long angsty chat and comforts reader. THATS IT IDK IF IM MAKING SENSE, you can totally ignore this if you don't want to write it ofc <3

far from perfection

diluc x fem! reader

genre: angst/fluff imagine

notes: sorry this wasn't very angsty- im not in a very angsty mood rn</3

synopsis: reader is a little insecure about her relationship with diluc. she confides in kaeya, and diluc overhears.

masterlist | make a request

“Kaeya?”

“Hey,” the man in question pauses in his writing, glancing up at you with a smile. Kaeya resumes his paperwork for a brief moment, before ending the sentence he was writing with a flamboyant underline. “What’s up?” He kicks his feet onto the desk, crossing his legs at the ankles.

You sigh, slumping into the chair opposite him. “I feel like shit."

Kaeya raises a gloved hand to cover his growing smirk. "I can see that."

You frown, glaring at the cavalry captain. "I'm serious."

"Got it," Kaeya murmurs, expression switching to amused into something sincere. "What happened? Trouble in paradise?"

At the sight of your now melancholic-like expression, he sighs gently. Guess he hit the nail on the head. "What'd he do this time?"

"What?" your face morphs into confusion for a moment. It's such a foreign, alien idea that Diluc could have ever done something to upset you. "No, nothing. Diluc is perfect..."

You trail off.

Kaeya stares expectantly.

"Well that-- that's sort of the problem. Diluc is... too perfect."

The man in front of you raises his eyebrows sarcastically, looking at you like you just read the entirety of the Gliding Manual aloud and he was forced to listen. "I really don't want to hear you yammer on about how much you like Diluc. Spare me, please."

You groan, "That's not it." Your hands drag down your face, your slight irritation verging on exasperation. Kaeya gives good advice, but it’s hard to actually get that advice when he never stops talking.

"Then what is 'it'?"

"I'm not good enough for him. He's so amazing and I'm just... me."

Kaeya's eyes flicker with realisation before he moves into disbelief. "Seriously? Diluc is mediocre at best. You, on the other hand, are great. I'm very picky with those I associate with. You being one of my closest friends is not something to take lightly."

"Friends isn't even close to partners," you mutter, eyes downcast. "You're missing the point. I'm not good enough for him. That's fact, and I don't know how I should deal with it."

"How? How are you not good enough for him?" Kaeya asks, merely confused at this point. He couldn't really fathom how you could see yourself like that.

“He’s so out of my league— I mean, he’s the owner of this incredible winery, he makes up more than half of Mondstadt’s entire alcohol industry, owns a tavern, he can bartend, he’s the wealthiest guy in this region, he’s selfless, kind and sweet and— and not to mention — he’s a literal hero!” you furrowed your brows, voice cracking near the end of your little spiel. “I don’t— how do I even come close to living up to that?”

Kaeya looks mildly surprised, albeit slightly sad. “You don’t have to. You’re his lover. And—”

“But I shouldn’t be!” you shake your head, eyes watering in frustration. He didn't get it. “Diluc is perfect! And I couldn’t be farther from that…”

Kaeya sighs. You hear the floorboards creak as he moves to sit next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “Now, I have no idea what got these thoughts in your head, but they’re irrelevant. Diluc is really not that perfect—”

“Yes, he is. It’s completely unfair to Diluc for me to stick with him,” you mumble, throat dry. “I’m not good enough.”

“Hey, now,” Kaeya chastises. “I, for one, think you’re fantastic. Diluc, as… mediocre of a brother he is, makes some good choices. And one of them was choosing you to be his partner,” he pauses, letting the words sink in before beginning to speak again.

“Not to mention, Diluc is his own person with his own free-will. You don’t get to decide whether he wants you or not, he does. And he’d be an idiot not to want you. Given he’s still in a relationship with you, I guarantee a lack of want isn’t the case.”

That gets you thinking. Whilst on some degree, Kaeya is making sense — everyone makes mistakes. Diluc, as perfect as he is, isn’t exempt from that. A slip in judgement, or simply not thinking things through could've caused this situation. A situation that, in Diluc’s mind, could be one that he thinks he’s trapped in. Breaking up with you could hurt his relationship with Kaeya even more, given the two of you are friends. This then makes him trapped, in a sense. Right?

You settle into a somber silence, Kaeya's hand rubbing gentle circles on your back.

"I really..." don't think that's true. Not like you were gonna say that, though. Kaeya was already dealing with a lot already -- you interrupting his time to do paperwork just so you could rant was enough.

"You really...?"

"I... ah, thank you. I really wanna thank you. You're a good friend, Kaeya."

The cavalry captain smiles, "Of course I am. I'm the best."

You chuckle, looking away. A beat passes. "I should head back, shouldn't I?"

Kaeya hums, nodding his head gently. "Probably," He moves from his spot next to you and settles back into his desk chair, sighing. Blue hair sways as he hangs his head back, eyes sliding shut.

Taking that as your cue to leave, you stand, plastering on a bright smile. "Thanks again, Kaeya.”

Kaeya’s eyes meet yours for a beat, narrowing in suspicion at your sudden change in mood. "…Anytime."

The atmosphere feels odd when you walk into the Dawn Winery.

“Diluc?” you call.

“Was that true?”

His voice responds. You look towards him. He’s got his back towards you, leaning casually on a chair with his arms crossed. His shoulders are still.

Diluc seems solemn. He still won’t face you.

“Was wha—”

“Do you really believe that? That you’re such a burden to me?” He turns his head to face you slightly.

Your body stills. You almost wait for him to clarify if he overheard your conversation with Kaeya, but it's a clear guarantee that he has. Diluc’s eyes are looking everywhere but at yours.

“Oh. That. Uh,” your lip trembles slightly, “Yeah, I do think that. B—But it’s not your fault! And, you know, it’s alright if you want to break up with—”

“How could you say that?” Diluc whispers. His eyes finally meet yours. It’s a startling sight; eyes red-rimmed and brows furrowed with such emotion. Diluc never loses his cool. Not even in front of you. “You mean everything to me. You could never be a problem, nor a burden to me. I am… not all that perfect. Not as much as you make me out to be. Don’t compare yourself to the likes of me,” he pauses, contemplative. His brows knit together further, fingers clenching and unclenching at his sides. He chuckles dryly, “You’ll only disappoint yourself.”

"You are perfect, though. It's--"

"No, I'm not. That’s delusional.”

You flinch back.

“No, that’s not what I—” he rubs a hand on his temple, “That’s exactly what I mean. Sometimes I say the wrong thing, or make the wrong choice. My money and wealth doesn’t make me better. I’m still… me. Nobody’s perfect. Especially not me.”

“But… that—”

“There’s no use trying to disagree. I am not perfect. Neither are you. Nor anyone else.”

You purse your lips, avoiding his eyes. You can hear his heavy boots approaching you, his clothing rustling and buckles clinking.

“…You don’t get it, Diluc.”

He hums, “Enlighten me, then. What don’t I get?”

“I’m not good enough for you. You deserve someone better,” you sigh, “You might not be perfect, but in my mind, and everyone else’s, you are damn near close. I’m not worth it. I’m probably one of the worst picks for you and you don’t even know it--”

“--I do know that you’re one of the best picks for me. And I think that I, as an independent adult man, would know what’s good for me. I know what I want,” Diluc pauses, grabbing your hands with glove-clad fingers, “and I want you. No one else. Just you.”

You pursed your lips. "Surely--"

"No. There are no exceptions, no 'but's, no nothing. I want you," he clenches his jaw, "only you."

"...You aren't staying with me just to keep on good terms with Kaeya, right?"

"What? No," Diluc sighs again, exasperated. He goes silent for a bit -- as if considering what to say that will convince you. "A baby is able to cry when they want food, or reach out when they want affection. If a baby can figure out what they want, why can't I?"

"Diluc, that isn't the same at all--"

"[Y/N]. It doesn't matter. Stop arguing with me. You will not win."

"Yeah, but a baby--"

"[Y/N]."

"--doesn't have complex desires like--"

"[Y/N]."

"Okay, fine."

[anyalovesu]

tolerate it.

xiii. all is well if it ends well with you.

—"all is well if it ends well with you."

necessary notes:

contains 🔞 content if ur not into that or u r a minor, do noT READ

the 🔞 is pw authenticated but the password just somewhere around this series hehe ( i did this to save face bc im that is the first time i wrote straight up smut and i'm seriously slowly getting delirious if it's good or what ) ( skl: embarrassingly i had a friend who has the experience that clearly i don't, read it and give me feedback if shit i wrote actually happens (basically validating the shit that i wrote) and it's safe to say that was the most awkward phase of our friendship 🥲🤡 )

ur feedback will be appreciated ( you can send it here ) tell me what i can improve or which parts did u enjoy or whatever u want to tell me ( pls be nice ) and i will read it and respond if u ever send me ur thoughts hehe

this is the last chapter of this series but i might be writing more about this in the epilogue or in the side stories hehe if ur interested in that, i will link the bsides on the main post !!

most of all, thank you, to anyone who read this. for a good amount of time i was convinced that i would be the only one reading this over and over until im delusional that someone is reading this other than me but it turned out that someone is actually reading whatever this is that i write 🥲🥲 sooo thank u sm, i will always appreciate u guys 🤍

anyways...

“Cielo, oh my god, you need to stop crying, papagalitan na tayo ng coordinator! They’re looking for me na!” Bianca whined, handing Cielo another tissue as Cielo asked her to accompany her before they went to the venue. “It’s not like she’s not gonna be your sister anymore!”

“Hindi mo nga kasi naiintindihan!” Cielo whined, breath hitching as he kept on crying. 

“I’m gonna get kuya. I’m so sorry I don’t know how to comfort you anymore, Cielo!” Bianca was in a verge of tears as well, being all stressed out and needing to excuse herself from the situation because she didn’t want to ruin the hard work that the make-up artists did on her. 

That being said, as Bianca was running towards the men’s dressing room when she came across Leon, who was all ready to go. “Oh bakit ka andito? Hindi pa kayo nakakaalis nila Ynes?”

“Cielo is still crying, kuya! I don’t know what to do anymore!” Bianca was clearly in distress. Her and Cielo have been friends for a long time too, and getting overwhelmed when a friend needed her really made her feel gutted.

“Pumunta ka na sa sasakyan. I’ll handle this, okay?” Bianca nodded before making her way to the front of the resort where the vans were waiting for them, meeting the rest of the girls.

Leon headed to where Bianca seemingly came from to find Cielo in the courtyard garden of the exclusive resort that they rented in Batangas. He was sitting on one of the benches, sniffing with the pack of tissue that Bianca had left him before she went to get someone to help.

“Hi,” he smiled, sitting next to him. Cielo was surprised to see Leon next to him that he jumped a bit when he heard his sister's soon-to-be husband. “Still worried about your Ate Ellie, no?”

Cielo nodded in honesty. Leon would not help but notice how adorable he was, realizing how much he is like his sister. So emotional and sensitive. Even the way they talk is so similar he finds it uncanny sometimes. It really shows how involved Eli was in his life. She did raise him after all, more than their own parents did, which only made Eli even more beautiful in his eyes despite not being able to see her since yesterday. At such a young age, Elijah raised this emotionally intelligent and sensitive young boy, which turned out to be one of the warmest people he ever met in his life. 

“Please don’t take my ate away,” he sniffled, pulling yet another tissue from the pack to wipe his tears and blow his nose. “I don’t wanna be left alone.”

“Ellie is still going to be Ellie, Cielo,” Leon chuckled, putting a comforting arm around the younger. “Wala akong inaagaw. She’s still gonna be there for you the moment you ask her to. Kailan ba humindi ang ate mo sa’yo, ha?”

Even before Eli moved out for college, she was there for him. Natrouble that school? Eli would be there. Naiwan ang baon sa bahay? It’s alright, Eli will just buy him new food or give him money. Nakalimutan magsabi na kailangan ng illustration board or ng cartolina kinabukasan, don’t fret, Ate Eli would be there before the time period when you need it with anything you might need. Eli always showed love by being there and doing things for other people. Everyone pretty much knew that. So it’s a surprise that Cielo is worried that she’s not going to be there as much for him when she gets married when it’s always been him who’s always at the top of her priority list.

“When you have children, she’s not going love me as much,” he sobbed, body shaking as he finally says what his main worry was.

Leon sighed. “I doubt we’re gonna have children until you’re ready, Cielo.”

“Hindi naman kasi para sa akin ang desisyon na ‘yon, kuya,” he argued.

“Yes, it’s for us to make. But knowing your ate, she’s not gonna do it until kaya mo na ng wala s’ya.”

“I’m always going to need, Ate.”

“Maybe just until you need your Ate Ellie less,” he smiled at him. “We’re young, Cielo, and at the peaks of our careers. Trust me when I say na hindi pa kami rin ready rin na magkaroon ng anak. So if waiting for you will be our sign to actually be ready, then you’re doing us a favor.”

“Are you really going to wait for me?”

Leon nodded and before he knew it, Cielo’s arms were around him already. “Thank you, Kuya.”

—

“You may now say your vows,” the officiant then steps aside before Leon takes the mic and opens his card that is eloquently decorated, a design that Elijah remembers she drew herself during the week that they were asked not to go to work because of the incident.

“Ellie,” he starts with a heavy sigh, before shaking his hands to relieve himself of his nerves. “Don’t worry, hindi naman ako kinakabahan dahil hindi ako sure. Kinakabahan lang ako baka kasi magkamali ako and I don’t want to mess it up.”

The crowd laughed at his remark before he glanced at her parents before glancing back at her. “It’s been approximately 23 years since I’ve had the privilege of meeting you. You have been my best friend ever since I could remember having one. And I must say 13-year-old Leon would go full on cardiac arrest if he found out that this would happen. That 10 years later, I would be standing in front of our loved ones, reciting my vows to you. That being said, I promise to always scour the internet and everyone and their mom just so I would know how to cook whatever you are craving the way you want it to. I promise to wait, everytime, especially when you’re still afraid to tell the truth. I promise to sit with you until you’ve already recovered from your emotions. I promise to always drive back 2 hours, give or take, whenever you forget something at home. I can promise so many more things but I’m afraid, for once, to say it. Hindi dahil hindi ko kayang gawin. Natatakot ako na baka hindi ko masabi lahat. Dahil d’yan, I must repeat a promise that I have already made before just to remind you that if you want me to, I will, dahil ikaw ang palaging masusunod. Ellie, I promise to never let you work for anything ever again unless you really want to. I know you come from a long line of families who worked hard for what they have right now, but Ellie, I promise to never let you work to be loved ever again. I promise to never let you try at all to be someone that people would love, dahil hindi na’tin sila kabati kapag hindi ka nila gusto. I promise to never leave your side ever again or ever meet death face to face again unless you tell me that you are ready for it. And although I don’t have to promise it, I promise to love you, always, in your highs and lows, and occasionally in the in betweens. I promise to be there, or here, or anywhere you want us to be dahil sa totoo lang, masaya na ako na magkasama tayo. Iyo ako, Ellie, palagi.”

“Hala,” Ellie sniffed as Ynes ran in front with a box of tissues to hand Ellie. “OMG ka, thank you, babes.”

“How do I start this, wait lang naiiyak talaga ako.”

“I can wait, baby,” he chuckled, reaching for her hand and squeezing it before she let out a heavy breath, gathering herself. “Okay na?”

Eli nodded before finally letting his hand go and opening her card. “I still wonder up until now how we always end up in the same route, to that house by the beach in Batangas, and somehow things would be alright when we go back. If I had known that pattern I wouldn’t have spent four longing years without you, because those years burrowed the pain so deeply inside me that it felt normal. And you waltzing back in my life like it was fucking nothing made me so mad because it felt like you were uprooting that pain again that I so badly didn’t want to feel ever again. But now that it’s uprooted and thrown way past me, I realized why it had to be done. I was never going to heal if the one causing the pain was still in me and really, thank you, because even if you don’t try, even if you just sit there yapping about how annoying I am for always insisting to do things for you, for always working for things I can just ask for, for making myself think that I am less than how you see me, you heal me, Leon. Every bruise and wound, somehow feels so much better when you’re the one who makes it feel better.”

“When we were young, Myla told us that it was possible that love was born at the same time that humanity emerged and it never stopped existing from then. It was as if humans were made to love. I was too young to realize it back then, but now that I’m old enough to admit it, Leon, I have known love ever since the day we first met. I had a clear vision of what love was like with you. I remember this memory with you in a preppy preschool daycare and me being the push over little kid that I am did what every little kid there asked me to and while now that I’ve thought of this, nothing was wrong with conformity, you took my hand back then and told the kids to do it themselves. Then it was you stepping in front of me when I was being bullied in Elementary school, then it was you always picking me in group activities because people would just ask me to do it on my own when we were in High School. You’ve protected me from things that could hurt me because as you said, there’s already too much pain in me for some lazy lowlife to add more into it. You’ve always made space for me to grow. I used to think it was unfair why you chose to let me go during college but now that I’ve reframed it, I realized that I needed that growing space. And even though it hurt you too and you were a little bitch to not admit it right away, thank you so much for giving me that space to grow. So I promise to protect you too, in the most deranged ways that you could think of. I promise to send anyone who tries to hurt you bankrupt. I promise to hold you when you’re full of emotions too. I promise to kiss you good night and good morning or whenever you ask for it. I promise to actually play the games that you put on my computer. I promise na hindi na ako magiiwan ng gamit sa bahay para wala ka nang babalikan. I promise na hindi ko na tutulugan ang mga pinapanood mo. I promise to take care of you, even when you object. I promise to get better, everyday, for you and for the life we’ll live from now on. Because in the same way that humans were made to love, when love emerged at the same time as humanity, it must not be a coincidence that I knew love from the very first day I met you. I was made for loving you, Leon and all is well if it ends well with you. Kaya pinapangako ko, na magduda man, magtaka man, maligaw o mawala man, ang bawat daan ko, Leon, ay palaging pabalik sa’yo.”

continue here (bianca and eli's conversation)

Bianca engulfed her sister-in-law in a warm embrace as soon as she opened the door. Soon after that, sniffles followed as her hold only got tighter.

The two sat there and talked about everything. Even going as far as talking about her recent split up with Liz Sim that broke Elijah half as much as it broke Bianca. It turned out that after Eli sent their company in the States bankrupt, Liz blasted her about how cruel and evil her family was—especially Elijah. And as cold as Bianca’s demeanor may be, she did not know how to take all the words said to Ellie not after everything she learned about what Liz’s family did to her Ate Ellie.

“It’s gonna be alright, bunso,” Ellie smiled at her kissing the side of her head as she cried, make-up now half ruined from all the crying she’s done. “Right now, let’s just enjoy the night, alright? We’re gonna meet people out there that’s going to treat us so much better than they did.”

“Right, hindi na’tin sila kabati,” Bianca sniffed, reaching for her handbag to retouch her makeup. 

Ellie chuckles at her. It really can’t be denied that Bianca really was raised on Leon and Tobi’s back, because behind all that cold demeanor is a childish heart that is sensitive and will break at the mere sight of their loved ones getting hurt. Leon mentioned before that he was afraid that maybe Bianca was growing up to be hard and cold, unlike how he sees Cielo, who was the complete opposite. Right now, Ellie really can’t understand why he thinks that way, because all three of them are just softies hiding behind cold facial expressions. 

“Let me help you with that,” Ellie smiled, picking up the makeup from the younger’s bag to help her do her retouches.

As soon as they were back, even with Leon still not being able to read Bianca’s messages earlier, he already knew Bianca had just finished crying. After all, he can feel his sister’s mood even from a mile away. It’s not hard to do for him anyway, especially when he had to study her facial expressions even as a baby just to know what she could possibly need even if they had nannies to do that for them.

“Girl talk, kuya,” Bianca told him right away before he could even ask. “Wag mo na muna tanungin kung anong pinagusapan namin, bukas mo na alamin.”

“Alright, well, can I have my wife back?” He chuckled at her. Bianca made a face and let go of Ellie’s hand, handing it over to her brother.

“All yours,” just then Alonzo Park arrives and asks for a dance with her youngest daughter leaving the newlyweds with each other.

“Hindi n’yo talaga sasabihin sa akin?” he asked, even trying to make puppy dog eyes to convince his wife to tell him, but Ellie already promised she would let Leon find out for himself so she really wasn’t going to say anything. So she shrugged her head.

“Did you have your things good to go na for Balesin?” Ellie asked them, starting to worry that they’d be late for everything as they’d be heading straight to their honeymoon destination straight after the party.

“Baby, Balesin is owned by Amina Myoi, what are you worrying about?” Leon laughed.

“Oh my god, Leon, don’t tell me hindi mo pa inaayos?”

Leon laughed at her wife even more before planting a soft kiss on her lips. “Naayos ko na po. Okay na, pinakaba lang kita.”

“I’m just saying na ayoko lang na makaabala tayo sa iba natin na kasama,” Ellie rolled her eyes at him. “Especially when your cousins offered pa to be the ones to bring us there! I don’t want them to think-”

“Anong sabi na’tin tungkol sa iisipin ng iba?” Leon cuts her off with a cheeky grin on his face, knowing all too well that it was discussed in front of everyone in their vows earlier.

“Yeah, whatever, it’s me you have to worry about. I don’t like being late, alam mo ‘yon,” Elijah replied to him.

—

“Baby,” Ellie calls out sternly as Leon plants yet another kiss on her neck while they were waiting in the private lounge of the airport waiting for their boarding time. “Keep your hands to yourself muna, please.”

While most of the people in the lounge were just their friends, they had some family members joining them too which meant that their little siblings could see Leon as bright as day, well, literally unable to keep his hands to himself. “Kahit ba quickie lang sa cr, baby?”

“I’m gonna have to keep you waiting, Leon. I’m sorry,” she chuckled at her husband, visibly in distress from how long he already has been holding himself back. He has already been planning how to ruin her the moment they left the wedding reception and it’s taking too much time waiting in this godforsaken lounge with so many people. 

For a good moment he regrets agreeing that they should come in the getaway destination after considering that they could literally have an entire villa to themselves and fuck the living daylights out of each other without being disrupted. His patience was running thin but he knew he had to be on his best behavior if he wanted to keep Ellie’s mood to its crisp condition right now if he wanted to get what he’s been fantasizing about for 4 hours already.

“Leon, calm the fuck down,” Ellie curses as soon as Leon pushes her down the white duvet, not seeming to give a flying fuck if they were on the bed with their outside clothes on. 

“I’m not sure if I can do that, baby,” he smirked as he hungrily pressed his lips against her, hands stealthily picking on the buttons of her light blue shirt.

“I’m all yours, love,” she chuckled, holding his face on both sides, forcing him to look at her. His eyes were dilated, blasted with both pure adoration at the woman lying under him, for the first time while they’re at their intimate activities. “Take your time, please?”

Leon then pauses, looks Ellie straight in the eye trying to see if there was hesitation lingering in her expression. There wasn’t, which was confusing to Leon, but he didn’t want to do anything that would make Eli uncomfortable. A blush creeped into her face when she realized that she might have to explain herself. 

“Are you okay, baby? P’wede naman bukas na kapag okay ka na?”

Oh god. Ellie just wanted the floor to open and swallow her whole when Leon blurted that out.

How the fuck is it possible to explain that she was fully aware how fucking big he was and she had been questioning every saint she knew of if she was capable to taking that big of a body part inside her? 

Elijah shrugged, eyes glossing in embarrassment as she tried to hide her face. 

“Baby, we can do it some other time, it’s okay-”

“No,” Eli retorts immediately, pushing herself up to a sitting position as she gathers up courage to actually say it.

“Are you sure? Saka nalang, baby–”

“Leon,” she calls, holding his face once again, forcing him to focus on her, leaning in to kiss him once again. “I want to do it, baby.” She mumbles quietly, as she turns to kiss his neck before nestling her face perfectly between the space connecting his neck and shoulder blades.

“What’s holding you back, Ellie?” he finally asks his wife, trying to pull her away from his neck but the younger remains unmoving. “Hmm?”

“I haven’t done it with anyone for quite some time,” she hummed. “And you’re malaki, Leon. I don’t want it to hurt.”

“You think it’s going to hurt?” he chuckles, finally managing to pull her away to kiss her once more making Ellie hummed against the kiss. It would be a lie to say that he didn’t take that as a compliment—the fact that she thinks he is big and the fact that she’s still willing to do it despite the impediment of it possibly hurting her.  “You want me to make it hurt less?”

“Please?” She looked at him, eyes round and glossy which really is just the most enticing thing Leon has ever seen her do.

“Okay,” Leon smiled at her fondly before carefully laying her down once again, kissing her slowly, lips moving in sync as his hands travel down to her jeans, fiddling on the silver button before finally pulling down the cold zipper.

continue here: honeymoon avenue (password authenticated; clue: color of ellie's engagement ring, 3 words, english, 15 letters, no spaces)

continue here (keeping up with the yangs chaos)

continue here (housemates' gc)

continue here (leon and eli's convo)

“Oh, bakit umiiyak ka nanaman?” Leon asked as soon as he entered the room after brushing his teeth in the bathroom. They had just come back from dinner and Elijah was, at most, tipsy from the Sangria that was served earlier.  “Bakit ka umiiyak?”

Ellie looks at him with a look that assures him that she’s not hurt. She’s just overwhelmed with emotions that feel too big for her own heart to process. Considering the amount of Sangria she had consumed with the girls earlier, her emotions were just flowing out of her. “Si iyakin talaga,” he chuckled before crawling on the bed, over the fresh bed sheets that were changed when they were in dinner.

“I’m just really happy,” she mumbled before climbing on Leon’s lap to hug him properly for comfort while Leon does what he does best, giving her deep compression by squeezing her. “I can’t believe everything turned out okay. I really hoped it was going to be okay.”

Everything was all so overwhelming but she knew she was safe. At last. All the pain, all the wandering around aimlessly in life—everything seemed to be falling back into place, here with the love of her life, holding her like nothing can take her away. 

And she really hoped it would be like that.

Because then, she knows that this was the agony was for and it was all worth it.

All that matters is that it ended up here where she is celebrated for her mere existence and for the love that she gives—it doesn’t even matter how much there is to share, the mere fact that there is love is already celebrated.

She’s finally where she truly belongs. Back to where all the turns and roundabouts lead her to. 

“I love you,” he hums, against her shoulder as he calms her down from her emotions.

Home.

“I love you, Leon.” she mumbled.

Back to Leon.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ characters ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ previous ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ main post ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

[lemonhemlock]

it's amusing to me how ppl will try to criticise alicent's "where is duty, where is scarifice" by saying it's just her demanding why rhaenyra doesn't "submit to men", "scarifice her happiness", "give up her bodily autonomy" blah blah blah.

there is such a smugness and it's made worse by their security in them thinking this defense of rhaenyra is flawless."

submit to men". im not even going to deign to respond by pointing out all the ways which shows this simply isn't true or at least challengeable for alicent, but in the context of rhaenyra....its questionable because who made rhaenyra his heir in the first place? quickly. her father. rhaenyra "submits" to viserys' will by accepting his decision to name her princess of dragonstone. obviously she's only 14 then but it's a decision she continues to, using their language, "submit" to well into her adult life. of course, you could say that rhaenyra wants the throne anyway and that's fair but rhaenyra's own wants/needs are still ultimately irrelevant. they just happen to align with viserys' own wishes that stem from his powerful guilt over aemma and his conviction that he misread his "prophecy" wrong. it's because of these factors that one can find it really questionable that viserys would have listened to rhaenyra if she asked him to change the succession. what's more important, his daughter's happiness, or his need to redeem himself through her? im comfortable saying this because viserys at his core seems allergic doing right by his kids.another way it's questionable because again who is the final "authority" on rhaenyra's sons? quickly. her dad. rhaenyra's word by itself isn't good enough, she still has to submit to viserys' will through getting his protection.

"scarifice her happiness". mind you rhaenyra calls her own life a "droll tragedy". how great could that "happiness" (harwin) have been then? it's also very clear that harwin was never going to be enough for rhaenyra.

"bodily autonomy" I mean, I wish they kept this energy for alicent. but they don't. alicent's line to viserys "to have one child like that is a mistake" is also really interesting to me concerning this whole subject because it suggests that alicent would have been sympathetic to rhaenyra if she had been honest from the very start with jace's birth. but she doesn't and she ends up lying again and again. obviously rhaenyra lying about such a matter is going to be a huge trigger for someone like alicent whose father was removed from his position partly because of rhaenyra lying or not being wholly truthful.

sorry for the long post!

Hi there! I think there's a lot of naff defence of Rhaenyra and hypocrisy towards Alicent in TB's discourse, but, by now, there are a wealth of critical posts available that highlight these discrepancies and, if they don't pose any interest to them, we kind of, at some point, have to let bygones and be bygones and leave them to their little bubble. They can educate themselves from many sources now; it's not like when the show first aired and the meta was dominated by TB content. But if they don't want to engage in good faith arguing, then there's not much point in getting worked up about it. IMO a lot of these posters skew on the younger side, have a rather primitive view of feminism and rely heavily on anachronism, so girlboss pew pew is appealing to them. Maybe they'll grow out of it, maybe not, but we can't be educators for everybody.

That being said, onto the points you highlighted. I think I agree the most with "sacrifice her happiness", because Rhaenyra had all the options in the world for a husband, but she didn't take any of it seriously and exhausted everyone's goodwill after a ton of resources were wasted on her marriage audition tour for nothing,* until Viserys got tired of her tomfoolery and forced her to marry a closeted gay man. This is where a point about bodily autonomy can also be made, because Rhaenyra could have very well married Harwin (who was in her social sphere), had she taken any of this seriously.

*think of the cost of transporting her and hosting so many suitors under one roof - some of the bill being footed by the lords who were hosting her. Perhaps Lord Baratheon had better use of his time and money than organizing Rhaenyra's engagement contest. And you can bet she didn't just leech off of him, she must have visited other castles as well, since she is said to have been gone for several weeks (? can't remember). And all for what? It's very disrespectful.

I do have some sympathy for her because it's a lot to ask a 15(?)-year-old to start seriously considering marriage proposals, when that's probably the last thing she is interested in. And it is normal for teenagers to be immature. But there's got to be some give-and-take here. Rhaenyra can't both be the nominal heir and future queen, entrusted with more power than anyone else in the kingdom, and not heed any of her responsibilities. It is a position that comes with sacrifices and responsibilities; it's part of the job description. Making a politically-advantageous marriage is one of those compromises. Acknowledging that is not anti-feminist lol. God forbid kings and queens can't just do whatever the hell they want all the time.

And Rhaenyra is presented with choices: at no point does she refuse Viserys' offer to name her heir. He straight-up tells her at one point: choose a husband or I will name Aegon instead. She could have very well said "You know what, I didn't really think about what this would entail when you nominated me in the first place and now I kind of realise this is not for me. I don't really want to get married and I'm not particularly inclined towards politics either, so can we find some kind of alternative arrangement here?" Does she? No!

She doesn't want to run away with Criston and eat oranges either. Fair enough, but then you kind of have to move your butt and work towards securing your position as heir to the throne. Does she do that instead? No, lol. She's the definition of eating one's cake and having it too. In ep. 7 she bemoans to Viserys "I thought I wanted it" (i.e. the throne). So she does want it!

As far as her just going along with whatever Viserys wants, I am going to be generous again and say that I get she doesn't really want to disappoint her father and appear diminished in front of him, cool, but at some point you have to start taking responsibility for yourself and not just explain everything away resorting to your shitty childhood and relationship with your parents. And Rhaenyra never does. Especially when the stakes are this high. We're talking about the possibility of civil war here. It's very laissez-faire to the point of irresponsibility to just "go along" with this, in spite of succession laws, when you know people are going to be opposing your shaky claim, if you don't really want the throne deep down and are just half-arsing it.

And Rhaenyra can't blame it all on the follies of youth either. Because there is a time when she is a mature woman with three illegitimate children under her belt, not really putting in the work to diplomatically advance herself, being rude to people at court and just interested in her love affair and doing whatever she wants. But, by that time, Alicent had already produced 4 children, so Rhaenyra could have just noped out of this situation, if she considered it so shitty, and conceded to Aegon. Viserys by then was old and weak, he wouldn't have really put much of a fight if that's what she truly wanted. She could have lived her life as a very rich, privileged lady, but instead she chose to escalate and marry Daemon. And, no, the greens would not have killed Rhaenyra and her bastard children, not because of the kindness of their hearts, but because Rhaenyra's claim is comically weak and would not be taken seriously by any medieval historian, let alone by a person actually living in those times.

So this is where I wrap it up with the "submitting to men" argument. I don't think it's necessarily accurate to categorise Rhaenyra accepting Viserys' decision to name her heir as going against her will, because she is known to want the throne. What I think is more relevant here is to consider that Alicent is in a much more powerless position than Rhaenyra and doesn't really have much of a choice when it comes to defying men. Alicent is the daughter of a second son and she doesn't have a dragon soul-bonded to her who can roast people who annoy her. I think it quite trite to be "angry" with her (lol she's not real) that she has the (normal) coping mechanisms that she has and is not magically transformed into a rebel Lagertha figure who does whatever she wants and takes no shit from anyone.

However, I don't see the solution as Rhaenyra "submitting to men" either. I think that's a misrepresentation of the green stance (although I'm sure there certainly are green-aligned posters that skew more towards the Kinder-Kuche-Kirchen disposition). On my part, I don't see Rhaenyra respecting the basic law of the land as her submitting to men. Kings have to follow succession laws to acquire the throne, too, and then produce legitimate children to succeed them. Of course the law is meant to favour men, but not once does Rhaenyra do anything to further the cause of women in Westeros, only to further herself. She wants to be Queen, but it has to be served on a platter to her and she is not interested in putting any work in. She's not interested in the plight of bastards in Westeros, as long as her own bastards get comfy seats. At one point you have at least concede that she's mainly on a one-woman mission for her selfishness. And anyone is welcome to like her exactly as she is! She doesn't have to be morally pure to have fans.

But there comes a time when, after appraising the inequalities of the world, you also have to adjust your own behaviour so that you won't end up causing more harm in your quest to advance your own interests. You have to find a balance between your desire for absolute freedom and reforms that are achievable, because some progress is always better than no progress.

Some of this stuff is really complicated, like how can you integrate bastards in the inheritance process when most of the wealth is acquired via land and you live in a society in which people of means turn marriages into economic alliances, with vested interests in passing down that wealth to children related to both parents? The short answer is that you have to diversify the sources of wealth, but, for that, you need technological advancement, the rise of the middle class and, ultimately, to dismantle feudalism. Could Rhaenyra have accomplished this during her reign? No. Could anyone? Absolutely not. These are historical developments that happen gradually, over a great span of time, so the best any decision-maker could do is introduce incremental reforms that can help speed up this process, increase literacy rates* (you cannot become free if you cannot read) and, yes, tumblr is going to hate this, but engage in harm reduction - basically don't become part of the problem or an active vector of destabilisation.

That is wisdom that Rhaenyra never comes to possess. And, to cut her some slack again, this is truly visionary stuff, like very few people would be able to be so politically avant-garde. But, at the very least, Rhaenyra could have engaged in harm-reduction. And it's pretty insincere or misguided of TB to reduce this resolution to just "submitting to men".

*But can you even? You'd need to invent the printing press for this. See my mentioning the need to technological advancement.