#im sorry to all my anons who told me to sleep normally

[kevotsuka]

I want to hear more pregnant Bezz thoughts of yours. What's his pregnancy like? Cravings? Illness? What does he do most of the time? You mentioned he isolated himself, does he get sad when lonely? Does Pecco visit him and help him with stuff? Does Bezz attempt to remember who the father could be and contact him? How does Bezz feel isolating himself when he's usually a very social person? Any preg!bezz thoughts you have, I love your cute au 🩵🩵

ANON I'm sorry I'm so late but my head has lately decided go to a writing strike HSHSHSHS but I've been listening to Alejandra Guzman, Cristina Aguilera and RBD in loop and now I'm better

You have very VERY important questions.  Preg! Bezz has been spinning like a piece of spicy chicken in my brain and im go and talking to a bunch of moms to project my man into their problems wuwuwu

This answer is going to be too long and a mess, I'm so sorry orz orz orz

(and each pregnancy is completely unique. What is normal for one person may be a sign of absolute danger for another. Always remember to go to your trusted gynecologist/obstetrician!)

1. What's his pregnancy like? Cravings? Illness?

He craves Japanese food but is banned from sushi!  He is an unhappy Bezz when people told him that sushi is dangerous for the baby.  Beyond that, he doesn't really have food cravings, he just eats a lot (and then throws up because he feels guilty for eating so much. He has more problems with food than cravings. TCA/Eating Disorder Bezz is very personal to me- but it's going to therapy and continuing with a new nutritionist!)

About symptoms.  At first he thinks it's an asymptomatic pregnancy, and it's more like the pregnancy is camouflaging itself.

Like. He's throwing up his guts, but he think “its relates it to the end of the season and the stress causes that in him” (even though he's no longer in line for the championship) (and he's never thrown up from stress before).  He then feels fatigued and can't sleep, but that's all because he travels a lot, jet lag and all that.  He misses his dog and cries looking at his photos. He has belly cramps, but it's probably something he ate in the paddock when he had a sudden aversion to the smell of chicken and he couldn't eat anything from the hospitality.

On top of that, his painkillers are kicking him between physical therapy.

When the season ends and his body has a chance to catch up, all the symptoms hit him like a truck. Headaches, heartburn, constipation and generally the desire to die to end the torment of him. He is also bloated…? and feels like shit. The bug is charging for every fall he had at the end of the season, or at least that's what Bezz thinks as he gets up for the second time in the night to urinate at the end of the second trimester or when he has to drink his calcium-fortified milk -very expensive and he hates the taste-.  The bug is really demanding with they needs!

2. What does he do most of the time? You mentioned he isolated himself, does he get sad when lonely?

I said “practically vanished from the face of the earth.”  He wasn't really alone, he is a family man, and of course he returned to his childhood home!  His older sister was very happy for him!  (The youngest offered him a rue tea as soon as he mentioned that he are pregnant, before Marco clarified that he was going to keep it- wait “Laura, how do you know that these are abortifacients?” “Oh Marco, don't ask questions for which you don't want answers.")

 (i'm sorry i love his sisters so much hshshs)

But yeah, he feels so lonely because he went from spending almost all the time with his team or the people at the ranch, not just the other riders, and now is just his family and his new “medical crew” (obstetrician, psychologist, nutritionist).

Also, He is an unemployed man!  At least until Valentino calls him and tells him he has something for him to do at the academy (like Migno, lol)

He can't help in the mechanical workshop (although now that Vito goes to the races with him, I wonder what's happened with that), so he goes with his mom to do the administrative work.

 He hates it so much :)

Those first months are torture for him and his family. His two sisters capitulated as soon as they could and left (they have a life to, Marco!). When he's not helping his mom or learning to become expert in Excel, he's watching old seasons of MotoGP, F1, and NBA. He stays at home mostly. He gets in a bad mood about it, but he prefers it to having to face his friends :(

But he can now recite by heart the podiums of every MotoGP and F1 race from 2007 and 2008!

3. Does Pecco visit him and help him with stuff?

Yeah! Bezz calls Pecco to tell him because he knows he can't run away forever for his friends, but he calls him at week 15 which is a long time past the period for a termination of pregnancy (wait, are abortions even legal in Italy?).  He called pecco when he say himself “there is no turning back from this.”

 (He's a fool...)

Pecco, once he discovers that Bezz is no longer going to lock himself in and respond to his messages (although not those from the academy's WhatsApp group...), finds out his home address and appears from time to time to check on him and take him out to eat Japanese food (but not sushi :c).  He texts him constantly and listen to Marco when he calls him to tell him something about how horrible he feels and how none of the websites he's seen talk enough about back pain (they do, he doesn't really read a lot).

Bezz is also ignoring the absolute circus that is the 2024 season because he feels rubbish not being there, and Pecco is happy not to touch on the topic at all because talking about the season is talking about Martín and Márquez and no, thanks.

 Pecco invites himself to the baby reveal date in the obstetrician (Marco doesn't throw a reveal party, booo) and together they discover that the bug that Bezz is having will be a little boy.

It's Pecco who brings Luca and Franky when Bezz says he's ready to mention it to more people (after finding out the sex of the baby).  Luca is the obvious choice for everything and Franky is Franky, so he has to be there. And they go on a shopping trip - with Pecco’s bonus - so they don't have time to process anything at all.

Franky keeps trying to buy VR46-themed things (why are there so many?) while Luca asks the -no- innocent question of “who is the father?”

4. Does Bezz attempt to remember who the father could be and contact him?

NOW. THIS QUESTION.

Short answer: no :)

Long answer: To each person who asks, Bezz will say a very eloquent “I am the father of the baby :D”.  He admits that he had sex with a lot of people at that time and doesn't remember most of them, so it's not worth looking for the child's other father. The bug is his, he is carrying it in his body and they don't need anyone else.

REAL Answer: Marco absolutely has an idea who the father is and will DIE before telling anyone, not even his family.  He will take that secret to the grave.  When his little bug is born and grows with brown eyes and to have curly brown hair, no one will ask about it anymore.

(when the boy grows up to have blue eyes and straight hair, people have QUESTIONS. Marco is not answering.)

 SORRY IT'S SO LONG it's just- pregbez

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Tw, Parental abuse, threats of murder, threatened violence against women, sexism, A boy being told to toughen up deal, being called names

Looking for support and validation (💛📼 sorry for the emojis i want to be able to find this post once it gets answered, don't know if this counts as symbols and is against the rules, im so sorry)

My dad (45) talks about how to could kill me at any moment anytime i (15M) am annoying to him. He's been doing it since i was a child, getting in my face and screaming about how he would brutally kill me if he could. Now that i'm a little older i try to make jokes like "you wouldn't i'm just so cool and awesome, i can't be killed" but he goes on about how "i could. i could. i can. i will kill you."

I feel like this is pennies compared to other people and their parents but i can't take it anymore. I'm tired of threats and hands on me and him getting in my face and the yelling and blowing up over little things like my nails or clothes or whatever. There's a stigma for boys and abuse, and it feels really isolating... I've heard all the "toughen up" and "man up" and "be stronger" and "you're being weak" and i'm really lonely

I know so many more women are victimized and oppressed and scrutinized and abused and hurt than men and i really don't want to take away from that, but i don't know what to do. I'm so tired and stressed and scared and lonely. Like i'm the only boy out here who is being yelled at and crying about it, i can't help but feel like im being weak for crying. He keeps talking about how men are so much better than women and can take them down and hurt them and i hate it.

he wont let me have a heater in my room, winter is coming soon and my room has shitty ventilation and insulation because i'm above the garage. He said no to the heater because my room is messy (bits of laundry and wrappers here and there, i think it's pretty clean and stuff) and therefore i'm a disgusting pig and going to burn the house down and should have thought about that before i asked. I'm so cold, my body is freezing, i can feel the coldness of my hands as i type this. Every winter is colder and colder these days. I'm thinking if buying a heater secretly tho! maybe i'll feel a little less sad if i can sleep warm and cozy...

thanks for reading, sorry this went into a tangent, i tried to tw everything at the top but i don't know if i did it all right, i'm sorry. Thank you again, thank you so much. I feel a little better now that i typed all this out. I should go to bed now, nightnight, have a good day, thank you.

Hi anon,

It sounds like you've experienced these threats so many times that you've become desensitized to them and have normalized them to the extent that you feel this experience is equivalent to "pennies" compared to others. But threats on your life should be taken seriously, regardless of who says it, how many times it's been said, or even your gender identity. You're right that the culture around boys and men is to be "tough" but that shouldn't mean tolerating abuse. You're not decentering misogynistic abuse by highlighting toxic masculinity. Your dad sounds like an incel.

Hearing about the heater situation is even more concerning because it's starting to sound like neglect as well as child endangerment. I recommend that you reach out to a crisis resource such as 741741 or 988. You can also take a look at this spreadsheet with other crisis resources, as some of those include crisis resources specifically for men or minors. If anyone has any additional suggestions or comments, please feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[posebean]

Sometimes I remember that Ken legit told Aizou that he had been wanting to tell Arisa that they’re siblings since he wants to marry her and I go into tears <3333

I THINK ABOUT TOO I THINK ABOUT THAT SO MUCHHH

one (1) good thing to come out of herot*ru

also technically arisa already knows!!! (thank u hanipre. ily. u will be missed) its silly and they clowned on ken when they were interacting in that one story but weeps i need more arisa aizou interaction sobs like its all aizou watching ken change and how arisa is like one of the girls he doesn't mind because he can see how much his brother has grown

sorry anon im going to drag samishigariya into here (would they be samishigariya quartet? shibasaki family?? idk but they make me so :))) ) ill put it under read more but youve just unlocked my deep samishigariya quartet feelings again

samishigariya is both brothers lore, going over how they were close, grew apart, and then see how one person changed the other

honeyworks is seriouslly sleeping on prime content that i would devour whole and especially now that hanipre is shutting down there's even less of a chance for them to interact and have more core character development </3

but i REALLY love the potential in dynamics between all four of them ( Ken, Aizou, Arisa, Yujiro((+kuro and YUJIRO KITTY. YUJIRO KITTY BECOME REAL))

i guess this is why i really love the roleswap me and lisi concocted, and u can kinda see it as a recurring topic in my fics haha but i just think they'll all get along really well

like here are the canon relationships established by haniwa:

Aizou and Ken: two brothers that used to be close, fell apart because of their family falling apart, have been slowly piecing their bond back bit by bit

Ken and Arisa: two people that never thought they would fall in love!! ken being the type of person arisa hated!!!!! arisa being very different from the usual girls ken messed around with; tthey're different, but end up loving each other so much! it's a little messy, but they're working through it at their own pace. its nothing like ken's previous relatioships, but it makes him so happy aizou and yujiro: two idols that absolutely HATED each other at the start, forced to work together! but they realized that they really weren't that different, and had the same dream! and they care SO much about each other!!! though they're bad at showing it , haha . taking it from aizou himself, yujiro taught him what love was :')

aizou and arisa: these are mostly hanipre / one scene from the novels but!! aizou approves of arisa :) and they even laugh together and tease ken!!!! theyre literally already sibligns he's already accepted his sister in law sobsssfjsf

yujiro and arisa/ken: also hanipre exclusive, yujiro sees arisa and ken and thinks that that's the type of relationship that he would want..

but what if!!!!!! what if haniwa pushed the samishigariya quartet more!!!!!!!!!!! think of what we can have!!!!!!!!!

think of arisa!!! resident narumi sena superfan!! ken brings her home and aizou is there with yujiro writing a song or smt and instead of fangirling over them being idols or treating them differently she just treats them like normal students!!!! i think about big sis arisa soooo much like normally aiyuu are really against girls and think they're shallow because literally everyone and their mom is always praising them at school because theyre bigshot idols and then there is arisa, treating them like shibasaki aizou and someya yujiro, and not as aizou and yujiro from lipxlip. (like she literally calls aizou shibasaki-kun's little brother aizou or something close to that, and we KNOW that she's a narumi sena superfan so she most definitely knows who aizou actually is but she still chooses to call him based on his relation to her shibasaki :)). she also doesn't use her knowing them at all doesnt flaunt it or use them to get to sena

like ahh i like to imagine that aiyuu look up to her like a big sister figure (even though shes shorter lmfao) she's very kind and also manages to control the mess that is shibasaki ken i think they'll admire her for that and omg imagine them working together and asking sena for a favor for arisa like they go out of their way to make their big sister figure happy breaks down crying ueeueeuhsnje

ok now this is just me rambling haha but also imagine ken and yujiro.... they make fun of aizou toggether and ken tells yujiro what aizou was like as a child and they laugh evilly

and and and ad na yujiro and arisa mostly being quiet but in comfort? sometimes they see their shibasaki's being idiots and in unison exasperatedly sigh. i think their dynamic would be amazing. cat-like people 4ever.

sorry that this is so long but i love the shibasakis so much and you're so right anon ken's absolutely fallen and him wanting to ask aizou so he can let arisa know is so so important to me like its essentially asking aizou to let arisa into their family...... and aizou accepting her wholeheartedly sobsssbfhjknfsdl

so yea honeyworks realyl should make that samishigariya another story. i will die for it. arisa and yujiro arent siblings? u are wrong. not by blood but by bond. they are to me. siblingsisms so true.

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

WE ARE BONDED...I THINK YOU'RE A GRYFFINDOR?? RIGHT?? IF IM WRONG ILL BE SO ASHAMED

OH MY GOODNESS YEAH I TOTALLY AGREE. LIKE WHY DO ALL KDRAMAS NEED TO BE KTRAUMAS 😭😭?? COULD WE NOT GET SOME FLUFF FOR ONCE...

HELP THAT ANIME IS SO FUNNY?? he's so relatable for turning into dust btw that's actually mad funny 😂😂😂

HAVE YOU SEEN THE ANIME OF THE GUY WHO'S VA WAS LAUGHING AT THE DUDE'S NICKNAME BEING DICK?? I DON'T REMEMBER THE NAME BUT THE VA WAS ACTUALLY LAUGHING IN THE STUDIO

no because cheol/hao/wonwoo (and- hot take maybe- shua and jeonghan??) totally give off that 'passive dominance' vibe

YEAH I TOTALLY LOST FEELINGS FOR THAT GUY....LIKE I THINK I MESSED UP IN THE BEGINNING BECAUSE I TEXTED HIM TOO MUCH 🙃🙃 it is what it is tho because i think im much better off without him...........

OKAY I HAVE A THEORY ABOUT PULLING DOMINANT MEN....you either have to act SUPER independent/borderline "leader" like OR you have to act like someone that could be a sub little housewife (like its the 1970s oops).... IM TRYING THOSE 2 OUT RN SO LETS SEE HOW IT GOES LOL

so many meds?? that sounds so complicated (and borderline terrifying 🙁) it must be so bad to be given something that's supposed to help but somehow makes things worse

would a sleep study actually help? here's to hoping it will because not being able to sleep must be torture brie im so sorry i hope you get through this in one piece (ONE PIECE MENTIONED!??!?!?)

PRINCESS SWITCH IS SUCH A GUILTY PLEASURE?? IM GLAD SOMEONE ELSE MENTIONED IT BECAUSE IM SO EMBARASSED TO SAY ITS...KINDA GOOD......

true. imagine ignoring your child's pleas for mashed potatoes... those creamy garlic mashed potatoes are actually a god given right, you can't convince me otherwise 😒😒

NO BRIE YOU DON'T SUCK! YOU'RE A WONDERFUL BEING THAT DESERVES THEIR PLACE IN THE WORLD.... AND YOU ARE PRETTY?? I THINK YOUR VISUALS ARE REALLY FRESH 😭

i'm doing great (besides finals.)!! YOU GOT THIS BRIE I BELIEVE IN YOU

-finals week or 🫨 anon's final week? stay tuned

Hufflepuff 😨

NO SERIOUSLY they should make a website like does the dog die but for what episode of a drama you should stop watching at if you want to pretend there is a happy ending

NO HAHAHA I DONT THINK IVE SEEN THAT ANIME BEFORE BUT IT SOUNDS SO FUNNY IF YOU REMEMBER THE NAME PLEASE TELL ME???

I actually really heavily agree on that Joshua take that’s crazy but i feel that

NO I THINK I REALLY MESSED UP WITH ONE OF MY FRIENDS i’m so stressed about it too she’s taking a break from social media and i’m going crazy like i feel like part of it is just that i’m too much for her now and i’m so stressed, every day i want to spam her and i have literally been crying every single night because i’m so upset cause i think i really fucked up but like is it worse that i think that she would just abandon me? IDK but i’m so upset it’s been a week now. What if she hates me, and also i went literally crazy and i don’t think she knows how crazy but crying every single night cause i think she hates me and left me is CRAZY like every time i calm down i see reason but i was rereading our interactions so much and analyzing all the things i did wrong so much i had to delete the messages

I’m crazy. I’m crazy actually. I want to just forget everything and move on but imagine i put all this effort into forgetting her because i had a maniac anxious breakdown in the middle of a depressive episode and she comes back completely normal expecting me to be completely normal 😭😭 that would be crazy right

I’m crazy right. I’m crazy.

OKAY THATS IMPORTANT RESEARCH RIGHT THERE ACTUALLY CAUSE I HAVE NEVER EVER EVER MET A MAN WHO WANTS TO DOMINATE ME AND HONESTLY?? IM SICK OF THIS BULLSHIT I KEEP PURPOSELY ACTING UP IN FRONT OF GUYS TOO LIKE PURPOSELY I WILL ACT LIKE A BRAT WHO CANNOT BE CONTROLLED AND NOTHING. NOTHING! PLEASE TELL ME HOW YOUR RESEARCH PROJECT GOES TODAY I LITERALLY TOLD SOMEONE THAT A MAN I FRIENDZONED LIKED TO BE DOMINATED AND TOLD WHAT TO DO AND THE GUY I FRIENDZONED HAS LITERALLY SEEN MY FUCKING BDSM TEST RESULTS AND THERE WERE NO REPERCUSSIONS 😭

Meds are meds i guess i’m just really hoping these new ones work. The sleep study SHOULD be helpful like if it’s a serious health problem. And it will help them know if it’s not like sleep apthia? Or something like that

I WAS TRYING TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT THE HEIST ONE?? AND THEY WERE LIKE but the first one is so bad and i was like oh my god… they haven’t even met the third twin LIKE ITS GOOD???

I don’t remember why i said i suck but oh god so annoying i give myself the ick. TODAY I WAS LIKE i was like when i serve food out to people sometimes i like can’t explain this well but i smile and pose? Like when i turn around i’ll like IDONTKNOW POSE? ITS LIKE SUBTLE BUT ITS LIKE IM IN A MOVIE AND IM THE MAIN CHARACTER AND ITS REALLY ANNOYING AND SUBCONCIOUS SO IM ONLY AWARE AFTER IVE DONE IT AND ITS SO ANNOYING AND IT GIVES ME THE ICK SO BAD i have A SERIOUS pick me problem that no one will EVER acknowledge even when i say it i’m surrounded by LIARS

HOW HAVE YOUR FINALS BEEN GOING ARE THEY GOING WELL?! YOURE GONNA DO AMAZING YOUVE GOT THIS

[ozzy-bozzy]

ok ik u said u wanted more requests for other sk8 characters im so sorry but i just had this great idea for a Reki angst fic. Reki’s crush finally admits they like him and he automatically thinks they’re in the talking phase after that, so he doesn’t say anything ab his returned feelings. but they think he just kindly rejected them. so they grow more distant and don’t notice his more flirty behavior. so Reki now thinks he did something wrong. and after a while more of them avoiding him, he breaks and asks if they don’t like him anymore and they hit him with the “why does it matter? you don’t like me anyway, right? i’m just trying to avoid getting hurt further.” and then it all connects for him. i’m sorry this is so long and another Reki request :’>

hello! I hope this is written okay, I loved the idea :((!!

also ik I posted about it a while ago, but pls never apologize for something like this! I know I asked for more sk8 characters but I love writing for Reki and Langa so it's no trouble getting requests for them!! I'm comfortable writing for them so if anything those requests might even get done first :D!!

also sorry if this is musty dusty am tired and its deadass 2:17 am LMAOO

You fumbled with your fingers, tapping them against each other and listening to the soft taps of your nails hitting each other. You could feel your heart beating throughout your body, the rapid pulse keeping you in a steadily nervous state as you waited in the shade of a tree.

You had texted Reki and asked him to meet you here, and when you thought that was nerve-wracking enough he said he would text Langa to meet the both of you there and you had to explain that you wanted the two of you to be alone. And you had to do it without revealing too much, less you start confessing your feelings over text.

The rhythmic sound of skateboard wheels clacking over sidewalk cracks broke you from your thoughts and you looked up to see Reki already looking back, both confused and a twinge of concern gracing his features. Once he reached you, he saw how nervous and jittery you were,

“Hey, you okay? You look like something terrible happened; are you hurt?”

“N-no..Reki.. I’m okay don’t worry..”

He popped his board up off the ground and propped it against the tree you were leaning against and sat down next to it, looking up at you and patting the grass next to him,

“Well, let’s talk about whatever you have to say”

You gulped, nodding and sitting down next to him. He saw you wringing your hands together and reached to hold one in his own, and you hated how immediately the effect was on you. You took and deep breath and looked at him, he looked ready to listen.

“Um… so I wanted to tell you.. How I’ve been feeling...towards you..” He didn’t move to respond, just waited for you to continue,

“And.. and if you don’t feel the same or if I make you uncomfortable please just stop me so I don’t embarrass myself, it won’t hurt my feelings or anything I just don’t want you to feel obligated or anything...but I really, really like you Reki, and I have for a while. And if you’re okay with it, I was wondering if we could maybe do something about...us..?”

You had been staring down at your entwined fingers, and when you peeked up at him he was just staring back at you. After no response, you felt the embarrassment flood over you and you went to slip your hand from his when he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you against his side, a soft smile on his face,

“Oh, sweetheart you’re so cute” he rested his cheek against your head and rubbed your shoulder soothingly. You melted into his side, but couldn’t help the nagging in your head that he never actually answered you. And that nagging feeling found itself a nice little home in the back of your mind where it reminded you every time you seemed to forget about it.

Days had passed since the faithful confession and Reki had seemed more cheery than usual, but you just chalked it up to him being himself or just being in a good mood, but Reki was having more than just a good few days. His adorable little crush had confessed to him and actually, truly liked him back, the same way he liked them. He had gone home that day and told Langa all about how cute they are and how in love he was. Reki would buy you lunch the days you go out together, would invite you out even when Langa wasn’t available, and would ask to call you all the time. He even offered to help teach you how to skate and would make you your very own deck.

The more he spent quality time with you and thought he was making you happy and getting closer to asking you out, he was driving you away. After thinking it over and over again in your head, you had realized he probably was just letting you down soft by not opening up about his feelings or answered you when you asked to further your relationship. This lead to you making a lot more excuses than usual, telling Reki you weren’t feeling good or were tired whenever he asked to hang out. Eventually leading to you just not going out to meet him at all.

Reki was concerned about how distant you were growing and asked Langa if he had noticed, to which he agrees it’s weird but didn’t think much of it. After about a week and a half of you seemingly avoiding him, he sat on his bed and called you. When you answered, he could feel his whole mood lighten and all his worries were washed away just from the sound of your voice,

“Hey, I had something to ask you” He wondered if you could hear the smile on his face when he talked,

“What, Reki?” You seemed a little annoyed, but it was pretty late, maybe you were just tired and he caught you right before bed,

“I was wondering if you were okay? We don’t seem to spend any time together anymore and I missed you…”

“What?”

“I mean, I don’t know, it could just be me overthinking but like..” He caught himself chewing on his lip and he didn’t know why he was so afraid to ask you, “...it just kinda feels like you aren’t really interested in me anymore? And I was hoping we could talk about it” your silence was so loud, and Reki was about to ask if you were still on the line before you started talking,

“Are you serious? What would it even matter if I’m still interested in you anymore, it’s not like you let me know you were interested in me anyway. Honestly, I’m just trying to keep myself from getting any more hurt, so please, just leave me alone. Goodnight, Reki.”

Reki pulled his phone from his ear when he heard the call ending’s telltale tone and stared down at the screen with wide eyes. Falling back on his bed, he thought about the past couple of weeks and you. You had seemed so happy and bubbly around the time you confessed, and then after when he started to make more contact with you you just seemed to drift away more and more. Could you have just lost interest? No, you had so much emotion when you had confessed and when he had called you, there was no way for you to have lost interest in him so fast. You had said how he had never made it clear he was interested in you too, and staring up at his ceiling, Reki realizes he never actually relayed his feelings out loud, so all the meaning and emotion he put into his attempts to spend more time with you meant nothing to you. He could feel his hands start to shake and the pressure of tears building up.

Pulling his phone back up, he tried calling you again, only for it to go straight to voicemail. He tried texting you, asking for a chance to explain himself, but you never answered or even bothered to read the messages. Reki knew he had to try, he didn’t know what he would do if he lost you for good. He figured if he put our the effort to show you he made a mistake you might listen and give him a chance, but there was a small part of him that told him it doesn’t matter at this point. He waited too long. It just seems like he’s pitying you now and that you’re never going to hear him out.

With shaky hands, he set his phone down on his nightstand and curled up around a pillow. Staring at the device, waiting for it to light up with a late response from you, he felt warm tears slowly fall down his cheek and stain small puddles on the fabric of his pillowcase.

[pies-writes-and-more]

Hii how about an Ushijima x GN Reader where they're married and then got into a fight which stretches into days of the reader ignoring Ushiwaka and he'll get reminded of what happened with his parents and all that, angst to fluff btw. (You could also changed anything you want in the plot, just please make it an angst to fluff, I can't handle angst endings ;-;) that's all thamk you vmuch!

word count: 3,613

pairing: ushijima wakatōshi x gn!reader (as usual, pls let me know if you find something gendered!)

warnings: sad angsty vibes at the beginning, a lot of worry but it's all fluffy at the end!

a/n: bare with me yall, this might not be that great lol i feel like im losing my touch with writing so im sorry if it shows. thanks so much @mistomu for requesting this though! (i also can't handle angsty endings so i hope this was good enough!!!) this idea is v based on my own feelings so i hope it reads nicely! EDIT: the original post says “she seemed...empty” when Ushi talks to Tendō, which is totally my bad. Thank you to the anon who let me know! I’ve corrected it now :)

haikyuu masterlist

This fight was not like other fights you had had with Ushijima. You loved your husband and all of his quirks, and yet, when you showed up at home with a duffle bag packed, asking your mom to just stay over for a few days, you had cried for hours, wondering if Ushijima was slowly falling out of love with you. Was he really just too busy? Or was Ushijima Wakatōshi falling out of love with you?

Tournament season was always really difficult for the two of you - you never got to see him as much, but with how busy your own work was getting, the two of you thought maybe it would be okay this time around. Especially after you two had gotten married and moved in together - maybe things would be okay.

As you leaned back in your seat, staring at the wedding ring on your finger, you wondered if it was ever going to be okay again. Or maybe this was just the new normal. You had told your mom you'd just be going out for some fresh air, and yet you didn't feel like you were in a good state to be driving. So here you were, in some random parking lot, staring out the window like all the energy had been drained from your body as you replayed that night over and over again in your head.

You could remember almost every word that was said in that first argument. It hadn't helped that Ushijima was exhausted from training - all he had wanted to do was come home, and flop onto the bed for some much needed sleep. But that's what he wanted to do every night and you were struggling at work and needed any level of comfort. You just wanted him to hug you, to hold you and tell you things were going to be okay.

But when you had tried to tell him you needed him, Ushijima had held up his hand tiredly, barely even looking at you as he commented, "Not tonight, Y/N, I'm tired."

His legs had dragged themselves into your shared room, a dismissive air left behind him. Your brow furrowed as it sank in - why did everyone dismiss you so easily? You told your boss you had needed more time to get the project done, and even though he told you you could take your time, he ended up throwing you under the bus to upper management. Your coworkers all seemed to be taking their sweet time on their own portions, no one was helping, and you wanted to pull your hair out in clumps.

You felt like time was slipping past you too quickly, like your whole days were consumed by work, and yet all you wanted was to be comforted by your partner. A hug that told you that you were doing just enough.

But instead what you got was a husband who clearly wanted sleep. And maybe you should've given it to him. But why did his needs always seem to trump yours? He needed a certain diet so you went out to buy all of his new ingredients, helped make new dishes for him to try. He needed to get up in the mornings and always seemed to do so so loudly, so you had to give up on precious moments of sleep. He had a game this year on your anniversary, so you planned a different date and he just came along for the ride. Now he was too tired, and you just had to sit here and pretend like everything was fine.

Maybe I should have just sat there, maybe I should have pretended things were fine, you thought to yourself as you slunk further into your seat. Maybe we could've talked about it the morning after, maybe I could've just crawled into bed with him and cuddled him then. Maybe then we wouldn't be arguing.

Your phone rang for the 5th time since you had sat yourself here in this parking lot. You knew it was Ushijima, calling again to make sure you were okay, to ask where you were, to nag about your whereabouts. But no, you decided in your petty attitude, this time he could wait for you.

Ushijima and you had been far from the world's most perfect couple. You had known the two of you had vast differences in the ways you loved and the ways you communicated. And yet, there was something so attractive about the way he existed when you first met him. He was honest, determined, and knew exactly what he wanted from life. Sure, he wasn't the most informed when it came to how to talk to parnters or how to communicate his thoughts regarding relationships, but the two of you used to laugh about it, you used to treat every little disagreement as something that you could both work on. So when did it start becoming things that only you were working on? He used to at least spend some time with you - or try to - when things got busy... but this season felt different.

You were not a perfect partner, and you knew that. You kept things buried inside of you, you let things boil up, you didn't communicate, as Ushijima loved to point out to you, but was it so bad to want him to understand that sometimes you wanted him to initiate things? He knew you liked to be hugged some days when it was hard at work, so why had he never come to you and hugged you without you asking? Why hadn't he ever thought about doing anything other than coming home and sleeping?

Your mom's words rang through your mind yet again as you stared off into the clouds - could you be losing the man you once considered your soulmate?

Ushijima's heart fell once more as he heard the beginning of your voicemail once again. Every time he would wait for that little beep letting him know he could leave a voicemail if he wanted, and every time he would hang up right before he had to say anything. Because what was he supposed to say?

He stared at the empty couch in front of him as he stood in the living room, as if you would magically pop out of the cushions to let him know this was all just a trick. A prank. A joke.

That's what this had to be right? It was just a joke right?

Ushijima gripped his phone a bit tighter as he scolded himself internally for thinking that. Sure, maybe after the first night, it could've been a prank. But this was the 3rd night in a row that you had been gone when he came home. He had glanced at your closet, noting that some clothes had disappeared, some of your shoes too.

A pain tugged at his heart as he remembered the yelling match the two of you had gotten yourselves into - he strained his memory, trying to remember just what the climax of it had been. He hadn't hugged you... hadn't consoled you, even when you were crying while the two of you were arguing, this time he hadn't reached out to you to hold your hand, wipe away your tears.

This time he had been so tired from training, he just stood there, staring at you with that blank face he always reverted to. You told him he was always too busy to think of you, and he had told you he was trying to be the best. Because the best is what makes him worthy, the best is what keeps money coming in. He was doing this for himself, sure, but he was doing it for you too - he wanted you to be happy in your future. And yet, you seemed so unhappy with him now.

Ushijima took his phone back out, fingers typing out another text to send your way:

Please Y/N, please just let me know you're okay. We can talk this out. Please come home.

Ushijima stared at the text as it joined the many others he had sent you. Three days and he hadn't heard so much of a peep from you. He had Tendō check in on you sometime yesterday, just to make sure you were alive and not murdered somewhere. You had told Tendō you were alive, but refused to say anything more than that.

"Must be some big argument, huh?" Tendō had hummed when he called Ushijima to update him. "They seemed... empty." And that had made Ushijima feel even worse.

He waited a few minutes, watching eagerly as if waiting for you to respond but no response ever came. Why wouldn't you just talk to him? Why did you always have to hide everything inside? How was he supposed to make things better if you didn't say anything? How was he supposed to know you were upset with just your tone of voice?

The volleyball player winced a bit as he thought back to how hurt you had sounded when you first begged him to just hold you. Why hadn't he just reached out and hugged you? Had he been so exhausted he couldn't just hear about your day?

As if on cue, Ushijima felt another pang in his chest as he thought back to how similar the argument you two had sounded to the ones his parents used to have. Yelling and crying, both of them always sounding angry and hurt.

He had sworn off relationships at first, reminding himself that volleyball was all that really mattered. He wanted to be the best, wanted to reach the pinnacle of volleyball and he didn't need a relationship to get there. He didn't want to get hurt - he had watched his parents both cry quietly in different rooms, watched as one parent would always ignore the other and disappear, until one day his dad was packing his bags and leaving.

Is that what you had done? Ushijima's eyes whirled around the apartment, looking for any sign that you would be coming back. Your clothes weren't all gone so you had to come back right? Your favourite foods were still in the pantry, the accessories you had received from friends were still on the bedside table so... you had to come back right?

Volleyball had been all that mattered to him... until he met you. Ushijima met you and suddenly it didn't matter if he could get hurt - he wanted to be with you. Every moment of free time he had, he wanted to be with you. When did that stop? Ushijima stretched his mind, trying to think of why he hadn't hugged you, why didn't he just console you, comfort you, after what was obviously a long day for you too? He had promised before that he would get better at reading your body languages, keep you in mind even during his busy days... hell he even promised you that he would actually start planning dates together... and yet the last time the two of you had actually done something together was maybe 4 months ago.

Ushijima bit his inner cheek, staring at his phone again - letting you go wasn't an option. If you were going to leave, he wouldn't let you go without showing you he wanted you there. If you wanted to leave, he would make damn sure it wasn't because you thought he didn't want you anymore.

Your phone rang again, but this time, when the vibrations stopped, you received a notification that a voicemail had been left. After all this time, you had wondered why he never just said something after the call. You finally picked up your phone, listening to the voice message he left you:

"Y/N?... I'm not... not good at these things. But I know that's the problem isn't it? I've promised you so many times before that I'd get better at this stuff... and instead of hearing how hurt you were, all I could think about was how tired I was. I'm sorry, Y/N... I'm sorry for all of it. But please, please don't just get up and leave. None of this matters if you aren't around for me to share it with - volleyball, the tournaments, the sponsors, none of it would be here without you always supporting me so please, please just pick up. Or just come home. You don't have to stay if you don't want to... but please come back just to talk... I don't... I don't want what happened to my parents to happen to us. I won't let our differences separate us because everything that you are is everything I love. I fucked up - I can't promise I'll be perfect but if you're willing to just give me one more shot, and I know you've given me countless times to fix my shit, but if you give me one more chance, I promise I'll work harder. I'll do better."

You could hear the hurt in his voice and it took all your willpower not to crumble and hang up right there, call him back and cry. You hated hearing that sound in his voice - knowing he was probably tearing up, knowing he was probably sulking around the apartment. But... why should you run to him when he still hasn't solved anything? What was he saying now that was any different than what he usually said?

"I called my trainer... he agrees that I should be able to have a few rest days. So for the foreseeable future, I'll be taking Thursdays off, or at least I'll be coming home earlier every day if I need to be there for Thursdays. I know one day isn't a lot, and I know it's not much until I can actually act on it, but if you're okay with it, I'd like to spend some of those days off with you... I want to be someone you want to be with for the rest of your life, Y/N... I know I haven't been that in a long time. But if you let me, I want to make up for everything I've messed up on... There's food here waiting for you... I ordered your favourite. I don't even know if you've eaten yet or if you want to see me... but it's here for you if you want it. I'm sorry... and I love you, Y/N, I know I don't always act like it, but I do."

You didn't realize until the message ended that you were crying. Tears were streaming down your face as you tried to weigh the options laid out in front of you. Maybe it was just you being hopeful, but you could've sworn that the man you had fallen in love with, there was just a glimmer of him in that message.

You listened to it over and over again, letting yourself cry and sob into tissues you had stashed away in your car. Why couldn't he have said all of this before? Why couldn't you have just let him sleep? Why did everything have to blow up so fast?

Maybe it was time to try and fix things, you decided after you turned off your phone. You swallowed hard as you turned your car on, desperately wanting for all these awful feelings to go away. If Ushijima was genuine in person, maybe... just maybe the two of you could work things through.

Ushijima had jumped at the sound of someone opening the front door, eyes glistening with tears he had refused to let fall as you came in. The two of you shared a glance, your face showing the awkwardness you felt as you entered the once tense environment.

"Hi," was all you said, your eyes flickering over your favourite food spread out over the dining table.

"Go ahead," Ushijima nodded quickly, rushing to your side to get you a plate and put your favourites on it. He picked the biggest pieces of each dish, setting the plate down at your usual spot and gesturing to you to feel free to dig in.

But you just stared at him, the hurt in your eyes not disappearing even though Ushijima wished it would. You shifted on your feet, wishing you could pretend like nothing had happened, that there wasn't this uncomfortable feeling sitting in your stomach, that Ushijima was just doing a nice thing for you because he was a good husband and not because he was trying to apologize.

"Ushi-" you started uncomfortably, playing with your fingers in front of you.

"No, me first," he interrupted quickly, swallowing hard. Your eyes gazed over him, noting that the normally put together volleyball player suddenly seemed so small, his hair unkept like he had been running his hands through it over and over again, still wearing the shirt he had probably woken up in. "I sorely messed up, Y/N... I'm sorry for getting upset with you when you were just asking for comfort. You've told me countless times before that you appreciate talking when I come home, a hug... some time alone... and I always seem to forget that. But I promise if you come back home, I'll be better. I was thinking we could get tickets to that movie you wanted to see, or... maybe take a trip somewhere," he continued desperately. Ushijima's hand shot out and grabbed yours gently, clasping his own hands around yours. "I'm sorry, Y/N... I'm so sorry. But please... I don't want to go about my life without you around. I don't want to be one of those kids of divorce that are never happy with their own marriages so I promise... I promise I'll work on it."

You hesitated, watching the desperation in his eyes. Funny how Ushijima always seemed to talk more when you were upset, you thought to yourself, chewing on your inner cheek. "Let me eat something and then you can continue apologizing," you teased gently, attempting to lift some of the tension.

Ushijima's eyes lightened slightly as he nodded quickly and pulled out your chair for you. You smiled to yourself, wondering if maybe there was hope for you two after all.

"I'm serious about Thursdays," he told you as you started to eat. The moment the food had touched your lips, you realized just how hungry you were, stuffing your face quickly with the dishes. "We could have a standing date... watch movies or maybe go out to dinner. Try to cook something together maybe?"

You let out a choked laugh, shaking your head, "Ushi, last time we tried to cook together, we almost set the apartment on fire."

"I'll just hand you the stuff you need, I won't touch, promise," Ushijima insisted, but you could see the little smile at the corner of his lips.

You sighed after you after a few bites, looking up at him as if calculating just how ready you were to fix things, "I need to know that we're both giving and compromising equally... I feel like I'm always doing what you need me to do..."

Ushijima nodded, mulling over this for a moment, "You have done a lot for me, and I'm very grateful for it. But you're right, I need to do more."

You gave a small smile, playing with your food for a moment, "I'm sorry I didn't just tell you what was wrong... I know I blew up. In my head, I had been thinking about everything for so long, but I know that to you, it wouldn't make sense why I got angry so fast. I know a hug really isn't that big of a deal but-"

Ushijima shook his head, taking your hand and pressing a kiss to your fingers, "If it matters to you, it's a big deal. You deserve to be comforted, to find solace in our relationship...If you'll give me a warning when you're upset, I'll do my best to hug your emotions away." You nodded and Ushijima seemed to hesitate for a moment, "Can I hug you now?" He asked quietly and you let out a little laugh because Ushijima rarely asked if he could hug you, normally you would just find yourself wrapped in a bear hug.

You nodded and Ushijima wasted no time, pulling you away from your seat and tugging you into a tight hug - it had been a long 3 days after all. He pulled away for a moment, cupping your face in his hands as he just looked at you, silently promising to himself that he would do everything in his power to never be without you again.

Maybe some couples just weren't meant to be together, maybe it had been for the best that his parents had split up. But you and him? You two were a couple destined to be together, it was fate, and there was no way he would be letting any of his dumb mistakes every mess that up again.

You silently thanked any and all of the gods that had led you to this man - arguments or not, you did love him and it was nice to be reminded that he loved you too. And Ushijima worked on it - continuing to remind you over and over again as the evening passed, even as the week ahead went by. So sure, you guys weren't a perfect couple - but sometimes, when Ushijima just held you, pressed that kiss to your lips, made your heart skip beats... sometimes it felt like you guys were as close to perfection as mere mortals could get.

haikyuu taglist (let me know if you'd like to be added or removed!)

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[loversindevildom]

hello! I'm not that anon but thank you for the other period-related hcs, if it's okay, may I ask for the brothers' reactions to an MC who doesn't have painful ones, but bleeds A Lot and is terrified of getting communal/the brothers' stuff dirty? people with monster uteruses unite

((Definitely!! Currently on my period while writing this and felt it-

((Also would you look at that, the me is posting again-

Masterlist

The boys x MC with heavy flow

Lucifer

It all began when one of your worst nightmares came true.

You woke up early in the morning having bled all over his sheets.

You were panicking. Badly.

Lucifer was still sound asleep on his side of the bed, having noticed nothing.

Without thinking, you immediately get out of bed and go fast towards the wardrobe to grab some sheets.

You had no idea how you were going to change them without waking Lucifer up but one step at a time.

But he was already awake as soon as he felt you get off the bed. "MC?" He mumbled your name quietly before opening his eyes.

You wished a hole could open underneath your feet and the earth would swallow you. You also happened to be wearing white pijamas and so the blood was obvious all over you.

Lucifer had just woken up and was not thinking straight so his first thought was that someone attacked you or that another demon attempted to eat you and immediately rushed to you and pulled you in his arms. "Who?"

"what?"

"Who hurt you?"

"no one... I'm so sorry!!" You cried in dispair and that's when Lucifer started understanding what was going on.

"It's your menstruation? I thought someone attacked you... It's alright. I'll go fill in the bath for you."

Thankfully you changed the sheets before he realized you got them dirty.

Or so you thought. In reality he had noticed but didn't want to embarass you.

Mammon

He knew you were on your period.

You had told him the moment it came.

But it didn't matter to him much. He didn't know many things about it, only that you're in pain.

"Hey, come on, sit with me." He patted the couch beside him in his room.

He knew you were hurting and he wanted to cuddle you and watch some movies with you and spoil you with chocolate he stole from Beel.

When you shook your head in return, his heart shattered. "I'm not really in that mood."

"B-But! It's your favourite!"

"I'll just go to sleep."

"We can sleep together here."

You sighed and he felt the world twist. You didn't want him anymore? That's it? It was over?

"What did I do?"

"nothing! I just don't want to get blood all over your couch!"

"Ohh..." He felt relieved. That was all. Truth be told, this couch was pretty expensive but you were worth ten times that couch...

"Don't you wear that pad thing you talked about?" After you nodded he added. "Then it's fine. Get your stupid pretty human ass here now. You don't wanna miss the beginning."

Leviathan

He wanted you two to cosplay today.

You had been planning to go to that convention for months.

The day had arrived and he had excitedly changed into his costume only for you to come out and say you're not going.

And he's ???? So confused ????

He thought you wanted this as much as he did.

Did you fake your interest?

"look, Levi, I'm sorry. I was really looking forward to the con but I got my period today."

Ohhhhhhh it was because of that thing. That was a relief.

"it's fine! The con is a week long, we'll go by the end of it. And we can wear the costumes inside and cuddle!"

The idea horrified you.

"NO!" The costumes were amazing and Levi had paid of them. You couldn't ruin it.

"why?" He was confused again.

"I'll get blood all over it. I always get things dirty. You should keep me away from your stuff." After all you knew how much he valued his merch.

Leviathan rolled his eyes and walked over to you. He grabbed your wrist and pulled you down with him. He wrapped a TSL blanket over you and proceeded to play games with you all night.

After all, you were more valuable than all these together.

Satan

You two had visited Devildom's public library to get a book he had ordered for you.

He had seen how fascinated you were as soon as you heard it came out and immediately ordered it for you.

You were looking around the shelves with him while the staff was going to bring you your book when you felt an intense pain on your lower parts.

Looking down you realized blood was leaking everywhere.

Panicking, not sure what to do you hid behind a bookshelf.

Satan panicked as soon as he realized you were gone.

What if another demon had fetched you and eaten you?

"MC?" He called out your name. Once, twice, thrice...

"Here..." You said in embarrassement. You had the idea of using a jacket to cover the mess in your pants. But you had accidentally grabbed his...

When he finds you he was relieved. "There you are, I was worried..." Then he scanned you. "My jacket looks good on you."

You weren't sure how to tell him, so you continued and went all the day back to the house of Lamentation when you immediately put it in the washing machine.

Of course, he had noticed. You had been dripping on the floor.

But being aware this was a normal thing, he decided not to embarass you and make a big deal out of it.

Asmodeus

You were screwed.

You were seriously screwed and not in the good way.

This had been a lesson to you to always keep in mind when your period was coming.

Because the one time you had forgotten, you had wore Asmo's clothes to sleep.

He told you you could use them whenever you wanted.

It made him very happy to see you wearing his clothes and it made you feel very comfortable so why not?

This was the reason not to.

Because waking up that morning, you had gotten blood all over his clothes.

"Shit."

Your exclaim and panic woke him up, but he was too focused on your face to notice the blood at first.

"What happened, my love? Are you okay?"

"I'm so sorry, Asmo!!"

It took him a few seconds but then he realized exactly what you were talking about. He took a deep breath. This was a disaster, but you didn't do it on purpose.

"It's fine. It's your time of the month? Come on we should get you changed. Wanna run a bath together? I can give you a massage too." He winked as he got up to get the water running. He prefered to focus on you than his ruined clothing.

And this, my friends, is called love.

Beelzebub

You were always careful when it was your time of the month not to get anything dirty. Always.

However, the unfortunate day had arrived.

You were in his bed, playing on your DDD while Beel was picking up some food from the kitchen.

And then it happened. The major pain. And you realized you had been bleeding all over his sheets. You should change them before Beel-

Speak of the devil....

Beel walked in happily and let the food down on the tray next to the bed. As he leaned down to put them there he noticed the blood and frowned.

You were scared you had disgusted him.

"are you hurting too badly? I'll bring you some medicine."

Cause he's that sweet.

Diavolo

Yes I will say this every single time I write about this one;

He's busy.

So even if you do get blood in his stuff you'll certainly have time to clean it.

However, fate isn't very nice...

When Diavolo is in his study, he likes to work with you sitting on his lap.

When you felt the sharp pain in your stomach you immediately jumped off his lap and fell on the floor.

"MC? What happened!? Are you okay?" He asked worrily.

You didn't answer him, instead you run towards the bathroom.

Yes, you didn't get anything on him but it was big a jumpscare itself.

Diavolo knocked on your door once. "Dear? What happened?"

"nothing! It's fine, my period just came!"

He was silent for a bit. You thought he left but as soon as you opened the door he was standing right there and he hugged you. "I see... Come on, let's go back. I promise we'll cuddle when Im done."

"I'll get blood all over you!" You argued back.

In response he picked you up and walked back to his chair where he made you sit on him again.

Simeon

Simeon is such a sweetheart.

He probably has already noted your circle on his calendar.

He remembers when it's that time of the month always.

Usually, so do you.

Usually.

You had miscalculated this time. You thought it was due for next week and so you had wore a nice white dress for your date with Simeon.

He wasn't sure what to say. He thought you looked gorgeous in that one but...

"Sweetheart, are you sure? I love the way the dress looks at you but I don't want you to feel bad if it gets dirty."

You were so confused. "What?"

"You said you avoid wearing white when it's that time of the month... Unless you're late? Oh my lord, are you late?" His eyes were shining and that's when you realized what he meant.

"shit! No I am not! Wait here!" You rushed back into your room to get changed and indeed found blood between your legs.

You couldn't find yourself feeling bad tho.

All you could thinking about was the way Simeon's eyes had shined at the thought of being a father.

Solomon

As a human like yourself, he treats it much more normal than the others do.

He doesn't treat you any different then really, unless you're in pain.

Then you're getting backrubs.

You were sitting on the couch with him and he was telling you a story about how he first formed a pact.

When he was finished you felt the need to go to the bathroom.

Then you noticed the red stain in your pants.

Shit that was a lot of blood. Had you gotten it on the chair too?

Thankfully, when you returned it was gone.

And thankfully, Solomon knew magic to clean it quicker.

[genshin-obsessed]

Your blog is everything I wanted and more. Im a lurker for your writings ahaha if you can guess who i am 👀

How about the guys reacting to s/o's death. Can be a group writing but if its too much, just Diluc, Childe, Razor and Kaeya would be nice. I think they would have interesting reactions >:3

First of all, Anon. I LOVE YOU. I wanted to write this out but thought it might be a bit too much but then you went and requested it!! I guess I have no choice but to write this out! >:) (That’s also why I did all the characters) second. Guess who you are o: may I get a hint? I have 2 people in my mind tho o: Warnings: Death, mentions of blood, angst. Pure angst.

Sidenote: The woman in this is my OC named Toxin! Whenever I need a really big, bad villain, she’s my go-to! That’s all!

Includes: Aether, Kaeya, Venti, Diluc, Razor, Xiao, Xingqiu, and Childe!

Scaramouche & Zhongli Here | Part 2 Here

You Die!

You ran as fast as your feet would carry you, desperate for an escape. A scream erupted from your lips as the ground shook beneath you, causing you to stumble and fall over. You had received an emergency request to help fight… someone. The request wasn’t very detailed but someone needed help and you couldn’t turn your back on them. So, you went ahead and tried to help.

You should’ve been careful. You should’ve brought help. But you didn’t and you were paying for your stupidity. The person that you were fighting was strong. She was tall, pale, and had long black hair. Her unearthly glowing green eyes were terrifying. She was fast and all of your attacks were unable to touch her.

As you ran, only one thought crossed your mind. The smiling image of your boyfriend. Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision as you tried to run. How you wished you could be in his arms, feeling safe and sound.

As you ran out of the forest and down the field, the woman appeared in front of you, catching you in her arms and stabbing you with a poison dagger. You shrieked as your hands curled around her clothes. The sharp pain turned into a burning sensation and you looked up at her. Her face was inches away and she smirked, her eyes glowing bright by the second.

“Finally. But you’re not the only one I wanted to break.” What? What did she mean? Her head turned to the left and you followed her gaze and the second you saw what she was looking at, your heart shattered.

The woman pulled the dagger out and it seemed to vanish as she smirked at your boyfriend. The tears slid down your cheeks as you weakly reached out to him for help.

“(F/N)!” His heart stopped as he watched the woman disappear and you fall to the floor. He sprinted to you, picking you up in his arms as blood poured out of the wound. “H-hey! Hey, keep your eyes open! J-Just stay awake!” He held your head against his chest, trying to calm himself, but how could he? You were bleeding out in front of him. 

He looked down and ran his fingers along your cheek as your skin started to turn purple. The poison had taken its effect and it was moving fast. You were leaving, you would leave him just like Lumine left him. He was gonna be alone all over again.

“A-Aether… I-I l-love you.”

“I love you too! You’ll be fine, everything’s g-gonna be ok.” Who was he kidding? You weren’t going to make it. But he couldn’t admit it. Aether still had yet to find Lumine and he’d never gotten over losing her. You, you were his light. You were his guiding start. You were his moon, his everything. 

To think that he could lose you? No, no! He didn’t want it. He didn’t want a world without you. A world without you was pure torture. So why? Why was the universe so hellbent on taking things away from him? Why did it demand everything precious to him?!

Why you? 

A pained cry left his lips as your hand fell to your side and that light disappeared from your eyes. “N-no. No, no, no, no! W-wake up! Please wake up! Do-don’t leave me! Don’t you leave me too! Not like this! PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME!” He held your lifeless body against him, his head pressed against your chest. He couldn’t hear it… he couldn’t hear your heartbeat.

“No… NO!” He ran as fast as his feet could carry him and caught you before you hit the ground. The woman had disappeared but he didn’t care. You were… you were dying! How could he stop it? He wanted to stop the bleeding, he wanted to stop the way your color was changing, he wanted to stop time!

“K-Kaeya… h-how-”

“I was told to come here. A messenger came to me and said you called me and told me to come here.” He explained, taking your cold hand into his, pressing a kiss against it.

“I-I’m sorry…”

“No. Don’t apologize and don’t close your eyes. Please, just stay up a little longer.” He wanted to pick you up and run to the nearest doctor, but he knew… it wasn’t worth it. He wouldn’t make it. He’d never felt so worthless and weak. He swore to protect you and keep you safe and now that you needed him… he was useless.

“T-tired…” Slowly, your eyes closed and your hand fell limp in his. Kaeya’s eyes widened as the tears slid down his cheek.

“(f-f/n)? B-baby! No, wait! Don’t do this! Pl-please no!” He took your hand and pressed it against his cheek, but the second he loosened his grip, it fell. Kaeya shook his head, tears flooding down his cheek as a scream erupted from his mouth. “(F/N)!!!”

Slow. He was too slow. Why couldn’t he be fast enough?! That woman, he knew her. He knew her and he vowed to hunt her down and tear her to shreds. But right now…

Venti picked you up with trembling hands, letting his now bloodied hands touch your cheek. He couldn’t even talk, his voice quivered as he looked down into your eyes. No. This wasn’t happening. You weren’t going to leave him like this.

“H-hey, love. E-everything’s going to be just fine. You’re fine.” He tried to keep his smile up but it was so damn hard when he knew the truth. He couldn’t do anything, he couldn’t even lie to himself. You were slipping away and all he could do was watch. He knew he was the weakest of all archons but why? Why couldn’t he be a little bit stronger to save you.

“I-I wa-wanna sl-sleep-”

“NO!” He frowned and pressed a kiss to your lips. “No, don’t sleep. Not yet. Just stay awake a little longer and then we can both sleep together tonight.” You weakly nodded, but you couldn’t stay awake any longer. You felt like you were moving, but your body was slowly going numb, until everything disappeared. “(f/n)? (f-f/n)? H-hey! Hey this isn’t a joke! WAKE UP! WAKE UP, PLEASE, PLEASE WAKE UP!”

The second he saw the woman step away from you, a fiery phoenix flew towards her, but she’d disappeared before it could hit her. Diluc ran to you as he watched your body fall to the ground.

He fell to his knees and quickly picked you up, shaking you a little. There was something that snapped inside. He’d always kept his composure, but after seeing what had happened, his emotions burst out of him. He wasn’t in control of anything. He couldn’t control his thoughts, emotions… or your death.

“It’ll be fine! Everything’s fine!” He said, pressing his hand to the wound. You winced at the pain as your skin started to turn purple and blood spilled out of your mouth.

“I-I’m so-sorry.” He shook his head, taking your face in his hands.

“No. I’m sorry. I sh-should’ve gotten here faster.” He was still trying to convince himself you were going to be fine, but deep down, he knew the truth. He knew the ugly truth that was coming up.

“D-Diluc… y-you’re pretty.” His eyes clenched shut at your words as a tear slid down his cheek.

“Don’t leave. Th-there are so many things I-I want to do with you. Pl-please don’t leave me. Wh-what d-do I do?” You smiled weakly at him.

“Y-you b-be the Darknight H-hero…” He scoffed and looked down at you.

“Without you… I’m nothing.” You wanted to say more, you wanted to deny his words, but you were so tired. Slowly, the world faded away and you could no longer hear his cries. “No! NO! NO!! DON’T DO THIS TO ME! STOP! COME BACK! PLEASE BRING MY (F/N) BACK!”

The wolf within had appeared but he wasn’t able to catch up before the woman disappeared. He ran to you and picked you up, seeing the blood gushing out of the wound.

“N-no! (f/n)!” Tears flooded his eyes as he watched your color turn purple. That woman, she reeked of poison so she must’ve poisoned you.

“Shhh…” You muttered, holding your hand to his cheek. “D-don’t c-cry.” He didn’t know what to do. He felt so lost and helpless, but the worst part… he knew what was coming. He shook his head vehemently and tried to pick you up, but you let out a cry of pain, making him lower you back down.

“I c-can save you!”

“I-it’s ok… it’s ok, Razor. I… I’ll be ok.” He hated those words. He hated everything you were saying so much. Razor adored you, he missed you every second he couldn't be with you and normally, he’d never hate your words. But today… right now, he hated how right you were. He shook his head as the tears slid down his cheeks as he felt you slip away.

“Do-don’t do this t-to me. Not you too… they left me. Why do you want to leave me too?” You weakly tugged him down and made him kiss you, but half way through the kiss, he felt your head fall back and he knew. You were gone.

He knew that woman that had done this to you. He knew her and he was going to make sure she paid. But right now… right now you were more important. Xiao took you in his arms as tears started to fill his eyes. He’d never felt like this before and he hated feeling like this.

You made him feel so powerful, so invincible, so untouchable. But right now, he felt so vulnerable and broken. If he had been faster, if he had just gotten here faster he could’ve saved you. He could’ve been hugging you, seeing your skin bright with life, seeing your glimmering eyes, seeing that dazzling smile. But no, he was a failure.

A sob escaped his lips as he watched you starting to slip away. He pulled you close, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“D-don’t do this. Pl-please don’t leave me. Y-you pro-promised you w-wouldn’t do this to me!” He looked down at you but you still had that angelic smile on your face. Why? Why would you do this?! You touched his cheek and spoke; your voice was a quiet whisper, but he heard it.

“I-I love y-you, Xiao…” He shook his head and glared at the sky before shutting his eyes. He didn’t want to see it. He didn’t want to see this happening to you.

“I love you too. S-so much.” He felt your body go limp and another sob escaped his lips. “Y-you pr-promised you’d c-come back to me.” He raised your face closer to him and pressed a kiss against your lips. “P-please come back to me. I-I can’t live without you… I do-don’t want to.”

He sprinted down the hill towards where you lay, gathering you in his arms when he was at the bottom. He didn’t know what to do, there was so much blood, so much poison, and no hope. He fell beside you and pressed his hands onto the wound as blood gushed out.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, it’s ok, it’s ok, everything’s just fine!” You winced in pain in your torso, but it didn’t last very long. It only took a minute before you lost feeling in your legs and arms.

“Xingqiu… i-it hurts.”

“I know, I know and I’m so sorry! If I was faster, I could’ve helped you. It’ll be ok, I promise, my love. I won’t stop until you’re taken care of.” Why didn’t he believe his own words? Maybe it was the fading light in your eyes, maybe it was the color draining from your face, maybe it was the sheer amount of blood that poured from the wound… but Xingqiu didn’t have a single ounce of hope. Why? Why was the world doing this to him? Why was it punishing you like this? Did he do something? Did he commit a sin that was so unforgivable that the universe or the gods would punish someone as sweet and amazing as you?

He wanted to cry, but he bit his lip to hold the tears back. His eyes were glossy and his vision was blurry, but he refused to cry. He wasn’t going to show you the fleeting hope in him. He wasn’t going to show you that he was  a liar.

“Xingqiu… w-will y-you g-give me one l-last kiss?” His head snapped to you and he shook his head.

“It won’t be our last kiss! We’ll have more chances. We’ll have so many more chances.” He did kiss you however. It was short and sweet, as he returned to applying pressure onto the wound. His eyes flickered to you for a second before his entire body tensed. You were staring at the sky… with dull, lifeless eyes. “(f-f/n)? H-hey… hey wake up.” He gently shook your shoulders. “Hey, stop. Th-this isn’t funny! I know you like playing tricks on me but this isn’t funny! St-stop!!” Finally, he broke. He laid his head on your chest as his tears started to flow. 

“NO!” Oh, he knew that woman well. He’d worked with her once. She was, indeed, powerful. She was a killing machine and there was a time where he was impressed by her. But right now he felt nothing but pure hatred for her. But that had to wait, because you… you were dying.

Childe pulled you into his arms, holding you against his chest and kissing your head. He was trembling and his emotions were a mess. Tears trailed down his cheeks as he looked down at you. The wound oozed with red and purple, so he knew you’d been poisoned.

“H-hey, darling. You ok? Everything’s just gonna be ok, you hear me?” You gave him a weak nod as you looked down at the wound. However, he took your face and made you look up at him. “No, no. Just look at me. Nothing but me.”

“I-I won’t… I’m tired.”

“HEY! Don’t you dare close those beautiful eyes on me! Everything’s going to be fine! Everything… everything is fine. Do you hear me? Don’t you dare even think about leaving me. Don’t you… don’t do it. Please, god I’m begging you (f/n)! Don’t leave me all alone in this world!”

“I-I ca-can’t stay…”

“Yes, y-yes you can! You can’t leave me, please d-don’t.. I-I don’t know what to do! What am I supposed to do?! Just go on, pretending everything’s ok?! JUST PRETEND LIKE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE DIDN’T LEAVE ME?!”

“Shh… d-don’t get so angry.”

“I-” He sighed, taking in a shaky breath, “I love you so much i-it’s hard to breathe without you. Do-don’t take away m-my reason for li-living.” You didn’t answer. You only weakly smiled before your eyes closed and your head fell back. Childe’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “N-no. No- HEY! No, no, no! Please no!” He held you against his chest as he let out a scream. What else could he do besides cry.

Your boyfriend stood up, holding you tightly in his arms. There was only one thought in his mind as he glared in the direction the woman had gone. 

There was nothing left for him. So he wouldn’t stop; he would relentlessly hunt that woman down and tear her apart completely. That way, she could feel an ounce of his pain.

[shotorozu]

hello!! i hope you’re doing well and taking care of yourself ❤️ please remember to take breaks and drink some water !!!!

i was wondering if i could request headcanons for izuku, denki, and kirishima comforting a reader (gender neutral if you don’t mind) after their birthday absolutely sucked? it’s my birthday and my mom went out of her way to ruin it, my best friend is barely talking to me which idk why, i got my period which makes me sick, and it’s finals so i’ve spent the day crying, sleeping, and studying. if not i completely get it!!!! don’t feel pressured ❤️

s/o’s ruined birthday

character(s) : midoriya izuku, kaminari denki, kirishima eijirou (bnha)

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used; gender neutral, quirk not mentioned

headcanon type : comfort, (angst if you squint) fluff (x reader)

warning(s) : reader’s mom being mean, and waking up to cause unnecessary chaos just because she felt like it :( period mention in izuku’s but it’s not,, even descriptive. and it’s i one bullet don’t worry :))

note(s) : omg i relate to you so much anon, my past birthdays got ruined by mom just because she woke up on the wrong side of the bed 💀 and this year i got my period the day before my birthday— so i was cramping the entire time 😐 in short, i relate to you ‼️and i’m sorry your birthday got ruined :( i hope this helps

im also sorry for the delay :,) also no proofread 🧍‍♀️

➽───────────────❥

midoriya izuku

help omg he’s in a state of panic

HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED— like,, the person that cares about your birthday the most (besides you) is him‼️

izuku must’ve planned things out precisely, even going to the point that he’d buy your birthday present 2 months ahead

because he’s just so worried about messing things up. he’d never live it down if he failed this one day

he walks excitingly to your room, ready to pick you up for the day— since he wanted to take you out on a birthday lunch, to celebrate the day

well, it was mostly for a birthday lunch, but also because he wanted you to feel better

you’ve told him that the day had started out on a wrong foot— since you woke up to your best friend ignoring you for a reason you couldn’t figure out.

you reassured him that you’d find out later, but regardless, you wanted to cheer up— and not waste this day on sadness, and have a nice lunch with izuku.

“today is going to be wonderful, i claim it!” izuku exclaims excitingly, gently squeezing your hand— and you can’t help but be uplifted by his words

temporarily

you felt a weird feeling in your stomach, and it was all familiar too, the cramping in your abdomen—

oh, it was that. and izuku was able to recognize what it was. way to start of this birthday experience, right?

the both of you guys end up dashing to the nearest washroom, taking care of it immediately— there’s a concerned look on his face

“are you okay? are you in any pain?” he’d ask, running the back of his hand along your cheek in an attempt to comfort you

“i’m fine, izuku, it’s all good. now, let’s go!” you’d beam in excitement, which started a chain reaction— and lightened up izuku’s mood.

the discussion was put to rest on that, and the two of you went on like normal— as the both of you headed to the designated restaurant

there would only be more misfortunate events to happen, as it appeared to be that the moment you and izuku stepped in the restaurant

the waitress that was serving you both had an interest in your boyfriend, even though you were RIGHT there to see all of it

and oh wow, it was so subtle— you wouldn’t have guessed from the airy laughs, her lingering gazes, and the way her hand would touch his shoulder

and also the way she’d get your order wrong, or she’d spill your drink on you as an ‘accident’

oh and your boyfriend definitely knew about what she felt, and he was not pleased

she even went as far as to ask him if the date was boring, and if the complementary cake would make up for it— her efforts on being subtle making quite the jump.

which made you super frustrated and just overall,, not good, on your own birthday— and even izuku could see that, despite you not saying a word

so, izuku quickly paid for the food, and the both of you guys bailed the restaurant swiftly

it was still pretty early in the day, but all you wanted to do was sleep, and forget that today was even supposed to be a special day.

he left you alone in your room for you to change into comfier clothes— to your requests, and when he came back, you were in a state of distraught

and he’s super bothered, brows furrowed and everything. why must you be sad on your own birthday? how did this all go wrong? and how can he fix this?

“please don’t cry, Y/N, i’m so, so sorry.” he apologizes, his hands rubbing your back as tears dripped into your pillow

“i don’t,, know how this happened! if i knew the staff there were like,, that, i would’ve not picked that place. today was supposed to be an amazing day for you but..”

“don’t apologize izuku,” you reassured, rubbing the incoming tears away, “none of this was your fault, i love your efforts! this,, just sucks.”

“i know sweetie, i’m sorry for that,” he rubs your stomach when your face scrunches up in pain, “you know what? i’ll be right back!”

he quickly leaves for a bit, only to come back with a selection of desserts, your gift and his laptop “we can watch disney movies! or well,, anything you want. i know that disney movies make you feel better!”

you stare at the selection of desserts, and you finally smile, “yeah, yeah. that doesn’t sound bad.”

he sighs in relief, and presents you your birthday gift “open this while i set things up!”

you stare eyes wide at the bundle of desserts, “thank you, izuku!”

“anything for you, lovely.” he presses his lips onto the temples of your cheeks— happy to see you smiling

oh and he definitely filed a complaint to that restaurant when you weren’t looking, the girl got fired :))

kaminari denki

also in a state of panic

his plan for the day wasn’t very descriptive, and he decided that he was just going to go off what he wanted to do

rather than what izuku did— which was planning in advance.

‘i’m just gonna go off what i want, no plans made!’ is what he told himself in his head, as he went straight for your room

he’s puzzled when he enters your room, and sees a not-so-happy Y/N, face contorted in dismay

“is,, something on your mind? it’s Y/N day! why do you look so,,”

“sad?” you finish his sentence, “ah, no!” you shake your head— dismissing your expression just now “it’s just that,, my best friend is ignoring me. i don’t know why though, and she won’t tell me.”

and he’s like 😃❓what kind of friend ignores someone on their birthday? he’s gonna find out later, for sure!

“don’t worry, babe! we can always find out later, right? today should be filled with happiness, right?” he jabs your abdomen, tickling you— effectively earning a giggle

“right,” you smile, because denki always knows how to make you feel better. “let’s go!” you exclaim, holding his hand as you leave your room.

yes i’m reusing the best friend ignoring you think im sorry i can’t think

so kaminari’s walking you to the place he figured would be a great place to celebrate your birthday at— for once, he doesn’t look that lost

“are you sure you know where you’re going?” you’d tease, which would cause him to intensively reassure you that he does

“of course i do!” he says proudly, “i’m just gonna do my thing, y’know? i’m in charge of the destinations”

and before you know it, the both of you guys run into someone you weren’t expecting.

your bestie 🤩 oh the luck you genuinely have.

they scowl just looking at you, and denki didn’t like it— like,, the nerve? ignoring you and then giving you the skank eye?

but still, denki tried to keep a conversation, “didn’t expect to see you here! how are you?” he stammers, trying his best to make the tense atmosphere disappate

“i’m doing good, denki!” they exclaim excitingly, almost as if you weren’t there “where’re you heading off to?”

denki tilts his head in surprise, “y’know,, just heading off to celebrate lovely Y/N’s birthday, of course!” you give denki a small, tight lipped smile

but your best friend doesn’t seem to budge, “who?” they reply, as if they don’t see you

it’s disheartening, honestly. disagreement are inevitable but,, you didn’t understand nor did he

denki’s even more confused, but decides to cut the conversation of it’s length, thinking that the misfortunes could just end at that

they didn’t stop there

you’ve also managed to run into your mother outside of the restaurant, when you were taking a quick phone call

she, normally— would’ve been very pleased to see you, let alone on this special day

but it appeared to be that she wasn’t happy at all, and in fact— showed that very well when she saw who you were with

her eyes narrowing, “this is who you decided to spend your birthday with?” she asks, a smile is plastered on her lips, but it lacks authenticity when she glances back into the restaurant

you nod, feeling a little too intimidated to even speak with the mood she’s in— she glances at your boyfriend, who’s oblivious to your encounter with your mother

“keep your mouth in check, child. make sure you don’t do anything to embarrass yourself even more.” and with that, she leaves— her words lingering in your mind

you enter the restaurant again, feeling 10x shittier than you were when you left to take that quick phone call

you’re aware that your mother would support any relationship you were in, but you could tell that she didn’t like denki— but accepted him because ‘whatever makes you happy’

it was a downer, you didn’t need this today— and your sudden mood change was bound to get noticed by your boyfriend

“what happened?” he asks with concern, “did bakugou rain on your parade?” he asks, and you would’ve laughed but,, you honestly couldn’t find yourself to

“oh, it’s just..” you struggle to find yourself finishing your sentence, when the employees of the restaurant start singing you a happy birthday

you’d hate to say it but,, your mood was like that for the entire date, even when you brushed it off like nothing— and acted as if nothing went wrong

and when you flop onto your bed, eyes welling up in tears— he panics

“oh no, no, no!” he panics, dropping down to comfort you “baby what’s wrong? did you not enjoy today?”

“denki, i enjoyed today, of course.” you state, hands wandering up to pet his blond hair

“but then, why,, are you crying right now? i don’t want you to feel sad today! i know i’m not someone that looks serious, but i’ll definitely make things work!” he states with determination, and denki finds relief when he hears you laugh

“i saw my mom today”

“oh,” his brows furrowed, “i’m sorry, sweets. did she say anything rude?”

“oh uhm, im not sure if she meant it but it did hurt my feelings,” you simply state, not wanting to give the specifics, “plus with the best friend thing,,”

he’s silent for a bit, before he speaks “you know what? it’s okay. it’ll be okay. your best friend- not sure why she’s like that, but she’ll come around. and with your mom? don’t worry, and don’t let it worry you! it’s your special day, and you will feel special.”

denki backs away, and before you knew it, sparks radiate from all around his body— making sure he doesn’t touch you at all

“yaaaay!” he’s drowsy, and he dumbly raises his thumb high— which makes you burst out into giggles and pure laughter

“denkii, you cannot keep doing this!” you exclaim, but you still laugh when he replies with the same comedic ‘yaaay!’

you finally calm down, and you lean to press a kiss onto his lips, “thank you, denki. i,, really appreciate your efforts.”

he might feel stupid at the moment, but he’s glad that you’re happy again.

kirishima eijirou

looks like his usual self, but he’s internally panicking— he just figured that he needed to get himself together, for you

he had an idea on what he was going to do for you on your birthday, he even prepared a gift for you— 3 weeks in advanced (with the help of bakugou, his secret wingman)

it wasn’t an impromptu celebration like kaminari, but it also wasn’t super planned out like midoriya

eager, he approaches your room to give you a simple happy birthday— followed by a small shower of kisses

there was only one class for that day, so the rest of the day would’ve been lenient, right? wrong

on the contrary, his plans are disrupted when he sees you scrambled on the floor, notebooks splayed across you, as you memorized various things all at once

“h-hey, happy birthday!” he greets with his usual smile, and it falters slightly when you don’t showcase that delightful smile

“hey eijirou,” you say, eyes glued onto a section of your notebook “apparently, two extra topics were added into the math and physics finals test! and i had no clue!”

eijirou probably should be worried like you, since the written finals exams does somewhat impact his grade— and on top of that, the finals are in 3 days

and he knows that he should let you prepare BUT! it is your birthday,, why should he not celebrate your birthday?

“i feel like you shouldn’t be too worried about it babe, it’s your birthday after all!” he reassures, but he continues before you get to question him “you’re a hard working person, and even if you don’t absorb those extra topics— you could always run to bakugou, or yaoyorozu for a quick run down!”

he’s not wrong

you give a tired smile, a genuine one— which makes him silently cheer out of success “thank you, eijirou. i guess you’re right. it is my birthday, and i should be celebrating.”

and with that, eijirou takes you out for a simple celebration! he’d take you out for some food at a good restaurant, and then he’d take you out on a nice walk— as the both of you ate your dessert

he thinks that the celebration is going smoothly, despite the fact that you seemed fatigued, restless even— just from studying four extra topics back and fourth

otherwise— you seemed happy, eagerly blowing out the candles on the birthday cake the restaurant presented to you, and even grasping his arm closer as you ate your dessert

but it all crumbled down when you got one simple call that afternoon

looking at the caller’s id, it was your mother— who, otherwise would’ve been happy or at least calm on the other side of that phone, but you were greeted with hostility

“what are you doing?” she chides with a brash tone, and you try not to shiver, and when you answered that you were out celebrating with eijirou, she wasn’t pleased

“what?! just because it’s your damn birthday, doesn’t mean you get to relax around, kay? exams are this week! and you’re aware of what’s going to happen if you don’t pass, right?” though she’s not physically there, you can feel her sudden criticism

“..yes, mom.” you decide to take it all in, not wanting to anger her

“good.” and with that, she hangs up without a proper goodbye, the only time she acknowledged the current date was when she was scolding you

you brush it off, when you’re asked if you’re okay— the blatant yelling from your phone being difficult to ignore.

while the two of you start heading back to the dorms, you’re informed of quite the terrible news

“class 1-a, i must apologize since this is abrupt, but your math and physics finals are set to a day in advance, due to an urgent faculty meeting. but we can all assume that all of you have studied the material, right? take care, and don’t be out past curfew.”

this pushes your stress levels over the roof, and you ended up running back to the dorms— just to study the unfamiliar material

being your concerned boyfriend, the red head goes to check on you— only to be saddened to see you in such a distraught state on your bed, tears running down your face as you examined the material through watery eyes

“hey, sweetheart, it’s okay.. it’ll be okay,, i’m sorry that you feel this way, especially since i promised you a good day today!” despite displaying a gentle smile, you could sense that he was feeling terrible too

“don’t apologize,” you wipe your eyes, which only continue to generate more tears “i know you’ve tried, really! and i’m sorry that i had to bring you along. you definitely didn’t need to see all of that.”

he sits next to you on your bed, pulling the covers over your legs “i know it’s just,, i wish i could’ve done something more, y’know? i would’ve helped you study but you know that i’m well,, me!”

you giggle at his insinuation, and he moves closer to you, head leaning on your shoulder “man, i wish i knew what was going through the teachers’ heads. i could’ve— oh wait!”

he springs up, as if he suddenly remembered something important, and he sprints to his room

when eijirou comes back, he’s holding a tiny box, that has a bow— placed neatly on the center of the lid

“open it, babe!” he smiles, “i can’t believe i almost forgot! oh— just open your present!”

and when you open it, you’re ecstatic— unsure how to describe the sudden surge of happiness. “eijirou, you bought me a,, promise ring?”

he kisses your cheek briefly, unable to hide the blush adorning his cheeks “yeah,, you don’t have to accept if you’re not into jewelry! i could just switch it out for something—”

“no no, stop kiri!” you stop him in his tracks “i love it, so much. thank you for everything. especially for cheering the stressed and gloomy person i was today.”

he smiles, “it’s no issue, really. if my Y/N’s happy then i’ll be just as happy.”

and with that, you spent the rest of the day in eijirou’s affectionate arms— and you passed the exams with flying colors because kiri managed to get bakugou to give you a quick run through the day before

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

[jaehyunfirstlove]

Hii congrats on your 1k milestone🌈🌻🎉

I have a request:

A fic where Y/N is cheating on her soon to be husband with Jaehyun but like Y/N and Jaehyun are exes and each other's first love and they become fwb also Y/N is cheating because she suddenly realizes she still loves Jaehyun but don't wanna break her engagement but then suddenly Jaehyun doesn't want to let her get married to a man she does not love and would do anything to have her because he is convince they are the ones truly meant to be with each other.

Ok im sorry it's sooo detailed but dang this shzz has been in my mind, though it's kind of messy and I really hope you write a fic like this cause I will truly be grateful😍😍😍

Pairing: ex!jaehyun x f.reader

Genre: angst, hurt/comfort, smut (18+ only)

Warnings: infidelity, oral sex (f. & m. receiving), fingering, unprotected sex

Word count: 0.9k

A/N: i love how detailed this request was, anon! thanks for sending it in, hope you like it!

He sounded like a good match, perfectly good on paper anyways. Your parents approved of him, since they had wanted to marry you off to a ‘good man’ who could ‘take care of you’.

Only he wasn’t Jaehyun; your ex, your first love, and the love of your life.

But you’d agreed to the marriage, thinking it was for the best, wanting to get on with your life and feeling the pressure to give in to your parents’ wishes.

Only you couldn’t forget Jaehyun. And the way he could make you feel.

“Oh Jaehyun, just like that,” you’d moaned one night, when you couldn’t give him up, when you couldn’t give up his tongue on your pussy.

“I know you like that, baby,” he’d groaned, “I know how you like it.” And then he’d sucked your clit into his mouth, making obscene noises that you’d drowned out with your moans. You knew it was wrong, you’d felt a twinge of guilt knowing you’d accepted another man’s ring just hours before. But Jaehyun knew you, knew how to make you unravel, knew how to make you forget.

Later, you’d given in to the luxury of laying in his arms, head tucked into his chest, limbs wrapped around each other, listening to the steady beat of his heart. You’d only left when you got a text from your fiance asking you what you were doing, reluctantly extricating yourself from Jaehyun’s sleeping form.

When Jaehyun re-entered your life you figured you could have your fun before you got married, he’d agreed to be fuckbuddies after you told him about your engagement. But old feelings resurface, as they do, and you’d suddenly noticed how he looked at you, and more importantly, how you’d look at him the same way.

As the engagement progressed, you felt less and less inclined to participate in any of the wedding preparations, your mother and soon-to-be mother-in-law taking over instead. You had begged off, claiming a busy work schedule, but instead you were fucking Jaehyun whenever you could, your urge to be with him overriding every rational thought in your mind.

“Stay with me,” he’d said one afternoon, when your lips were wrapped around his cock, his fingers threading softly through your hair. Tears had pricked your eyes, but it wasn’t from the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat. He had picked you up anyway, gathering you in his arms and kissing you gently all over your face until you had stopped crying. You lay in silence afterwards, knowing the position you were in. He had sighed, knowing your life’s path didn’t include him anymore, but still hoping that maybe, maybe you would change your mind.

With every day that passed though, as the day of the wedding approached, you still couldn’t bring yourself to break it off. Jaehyun made one last ditch effort, showing up at your rehearsal dinner. Before he could make a scene, you had dragged him away, pulled him into one of the bathrooms, where he’d locked the door behind you and pinned you against it.

“I can’t let you do it,” he pleaded, lips leaving a trail of heat down your neck, “please don’t marry him.”

You bit your lip to keep from crying, and from moaning with the way his hands and lips were making a mess of you. He kissed your collarbone, careful not to leave a mark, just as his hand went up your skirt. You let him manhandle you, let him have his way with you, wanting nothing more than him; the feel of him, the taste of him.

The touch of his fingers on your pussy made you cry out, and he put a hand over your mouth to silence you as he scissored his fingers inside you, making you come so fast your eyes rolled into the back of your head. With your legs still trembling he lifted you up, sinking his hard cock into you so deep you dug your fingers into his shoulders.

“I love you,” he groaned, “no one can love you like I can, no one can fuck you like this.”

You moaned behind his hand, unable to contain your pleasure, unable to hold back anymore as he pounded you against the door. You could hear your mother walking the halls outside, calling for you, but you couldn’t give a care about it anymore, not with the way Jaehyun’s cock was hitting you so hard you could barely breathe.

He was close to coming, you could feel it with the way his hips stuttered and how his muscles tensed up, and he was going to pull out like he normally did but you held him fast. He looked at you, eyes dark and intense, but questioning. The sudden urge to give yourself to him, to let him have all of you, overtook you then, and you held him tight against you as he came, spilling his cum inside you. He took his hand off your mouth and kissed you, hungrily, the need in the movement of his lips so evident it brought tears to your eyes.

---

The next day you still found yourself in your wedding dress, hesitating to enter the hall where your soon-to-be husband was waiting, along with all of your family and friends. A text sent earlier that day had given you your other choice: Jaehyun waiting outside to whisk you away in his car.

If you turned right, you would enter the hall and marry a man your parents approved of, and begin the rest of your life.

If you turned left, you would run away with the love of your life.

You turned left.

---

Thank you for 1k!

[levisgirll]

How about one where levi comforts his s/o on her birthday? She maybe doesn't feel as important or not good enough? My bday is actually coming up and im a bit anxious for it and i tend to cry on my birthdays for no reason, but now im feeling as if i have a reason to cry? idk but i just would like some fluff/comfort with levi bc i love him sm. Thank you!

𝐚 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐝𝐚𝐲 (𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐀𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

text: hello anon!! First of all thank you so much for your lovely request I would gladly write this up for you 🥺💕 and second HAPPY EARLY/LATE BIRTHDAY <3 I hope I am not too late and you get to see this post either on your birthday or before :,) I hope you have a lovely day filled with love and laughter cause everyone deserves that on their birthday 🥰 and also I hope this post somehow helps you go through with your bday and makes u feel perhaps less anxious or sad! I kind of felt like this on my last birthday but I went to read some fanfics and they kind of helped me out and made me smile so I hope that is the same case with you when you read what I wrote for you :,) also i made this modern au ahhhh

synopsis: it’s y/n’s birthday! He tries to make this day special as it is since he wants his s/o to realize that! Later he finds out that his s/o feels on this very day not that important and also tears up. As Levi discovers that, he does and says things only on your birthday that really made you surprised and on this day you felt extremely good and special y/n cries happy tears instead <3

comfort fluff, bit angst, a little bit suggestive (?), modern au ♡ —

Today is the day, and not any day but Levi's s/o birthday! He woke up extremely early for this day. He had already planned out what to do coming from a man who is pretty much organized and ahead of things you weren’t shocked to see him getting up quite early.

“Levi..?” Y/N said in such a soft and tired tone, it really warmed his heart. “Love...Happy birthday.” He would go near your ear and whisper that, then gave you a kiss on your forehead. “I’m sorry I didn't mean to wake you up...Go back to sleep.” He would say as he pushed your hair back gently that was laying on your face. You felt his warm fingertips brush against your cheek and you open your eyes slightly to look at your man, Levi that was up and putting his shirt on. You got up a bit reached out and pulled on the his shirt “Wait...don’t leave.”

He turned around quickly and looked at you, ‘Why does she sound uneasy....?’ He would wonder as he came closer to you and kissed on top of your head. “Silly, I’m not leaving or going anywhere. I’ll be in the kitchen so just rest a bit and I’ll wake you up later on, Hm?” Levi said with a smile, after the war and when you both left Paradise to start a life in the outside world, Levi started to smile more, laugh and be even more affectionate towards you and this warmed your heart. He promised you that he would protect you till the last days even if there was no war anymore and also....promised you to show you more love cause he deiced to spend the rest of his life with you, and he was in progress in doing that!

After a couple of hours, you felt a small rub on your shoulders. “Time to wake up birthday girl” He gave you a warm smile and helped you get out of your shared bed. You felt how gentle, and careful he was for you...he truly did cherish you and loved you a lot, you meant the world to Levi.

As you were brushing your teeth, Levi was brushing your hair and when he was done he would put his arms around your waist and kept kissing your neck until you were done and ready.

Your cheeks were red now and you had a shy look on your face. “Ha, Don't be shy with me Love, it’s just us alone.” He would say and softly rub your arms. “Let’s go then?” and you give him a nod and held on his hand.

When you both went downstairs, you gasped and was taken aback by what you saw. A beautiful breakfast that was set up and prepared for the both of you, a sack of pancakes with fruits that was cut by him, your favorite fruit juice, and there was a vase with a bouquet and you could see a card that was hidden in the beautiful flowers he picked out for you and it was written ‘Happy Birthday my Dearest’

“Wow, you did this for...me?” You would say while giving him a sad expression that almost broke his heart. “Who else?” He said with a sarcastic tone and pulled your hand towards the table. You and Levi enjoyed the breakfast and you both had a good morning filled with laughter.

“Sit down, I’m gonna clean the dishes” you nodded and went to sit on the coach. You then started to feel...a bit anxious? Y/N wondered how the rest of the day would go and you started to think if what Levi did was all worth it?

“Love, what's wrong?” Levi was quick to read your vibe, he approached you from behind, and sensed you were feeling perhaps down. “Nothing...”

“Yea I’m not gonna buy that, tell me....What’s wrong?” Y/N stood up slowly and was looking down, her hair was covering her face and that made Levi quickly go in front of her and held on her shoulders. Tears then started to roll down from your cheeks and Levi pulled you to his chest for a hug. “I-I don’t know why I’m tearing up! But I am feeling as if I have a reason to cry and I usually cry on my birthdays Levi...I’m sorry, it’s probably for nothing.”

“Why are you apologizing?” He hugged you tighter and then proceed to stroke your hair. “These feelings are completely normal, why apologize for it? But it’s okay you don’t need to explain why you are crying love.” Levi waited for y/n to calm down as he caressed her hair, and Y/N pulled her face away from his muscular chest and looked up at him. He gave a small smile to her and wiped her tears “Let’s....make those tears not for ‘nothing’ or for ‘no reason’ to be wasted, but instead let me make those tears a reason for you today. A reason that caused you to smile and laugh today.”

Levi was now looking at you in such a loving way, you could feel all his love, emotions, the way he caressed you, hugged you, touched your hair gently and now holding both of your hands, it warmed your heart. He was indeed a man who was really mature, and has a great deal of empathy towards Y/N. Levi understood your feelings cause of the deep love he had for you. “You are important to me, okay? So, let me make those tears....happy tears instead.”

After a while, Levi told you to get dressed up and ready because he was going to take you somewhere. You both left your apartment that you both shared at the moment and walked down the street, while Levi tightly holding your hand and on the other hand he was carrying a brown paper carrier bag which had something in it. “What’s inside?” “A surprise.”

Later did you know, you both reached a huge garden park and you saw a group of people that you recognized. Your friends! “Everyone!”

As soon as Hanji hear you, Hanji came running towards you and hugged you tightly which was then followed by Jean, Mikasa, Armin and the rest all wishing you a happy birthday!

You then spotted Onyankopn, Falco and Gabi preparing the huge picnic filled with a variety of delicious food and then Levi brought out the cake which he designed and baked just for you.

The whole afternoon was spent with your loved one, friends and you all had such a great time, playing some card games, tennis which Jean and Connie that they brought along with them. You were packed with so many gifts too, and Levi was holding on to your waist and hand the whole time and would sneak in some kisses on your cheek when no one would look. Hanji then talked about how your relationship was going and Levi would suddenly talk really highly of you, and pamper about you then he would mention all of the times you meant a lot to him and he cherished.

The sun started to set and everyone was heading to leave, and Levi held on your hand and you both went to see the sunset while sitting on the bench. You found the sunset really beautiful, but to Levi he thought you were more prettier. He held on your hand and then said while focusing on your eyes “You know...When you are not around, I always crave for your touch. You just make me feel good so I always find myself a chance to hold your hand constantly.” Before you could say anything, he gave you a box that was wrapped with a ribbon. “Open it.” Your eyes widen when you saw the gift, it was Rose Gold Watch and it looked rather expensive but extremely charming. He went closer to you and brought your wrist closer and wore the watch for you. “I knew this would suit you.” Levi smiled again and looked at you, tears were now forming on your eyes but this time...it was happy tears and you gave him a big smile that really warmed his heart. “Thank you Levi, I really love you...” He went closer to you and kissed your cheek which washed away the tears that was rolling down. “I love you more....And didn't I say I would make that happy tears today, Hm? But we aren’t done, your birthday did not end yet”

After you both reached home, you both went to the bedroom and you started to change into your comfy silk nightgown, while Levi took of his shirt and was only...wearing his joggers? ‘Wait...He would only do that if he is in the mood’ You thought as you started to blush slightly.

“Lev-” Your words were taken aback when Levi suddenly embraced you and kept his face in your neck while bring his arms around your waist. “Can...I make you feel good tonight? I want to make your birthday memorable....just for today.”  It was more of a whisper when he said it, and you managed to hear it all even though you could feel his heart beating fast.

Your face was now red, you could feel his back muscle tense up and the detail of it as you caressed his back. You nodded, which Levi sensed and acknowledged, but asked again. “I need to hear your answer love.” He was now looking at you and he held on your shoulders, waiting for a response and he would not let you go until you answered. “Yes Love” You said with certainty and looked back at him which he suddenly blushed with you how you responded. Levi did had a tough and strong personality from the outside, but when it came to moments like these he was really soft and usually shy but tonight he wanted to try his best for you, cause you meant the world to him.

He picked you up and you could feel his biceps around you which you held on as he gently laid you on top of the bed, with Levi being on top of you. He leaned in closer and gave you a kiss on your forehead. “Oi! I can be romantic…So why are you giving me that look?” He said with a smirk and that made you laugh. “Hmm...Prove it then.” You challenged him and that made his ego boost up. He proceeded to kiss all over your face which made you giggle as some of them tickled, and then he stopped and reached the edge of your lips which made both of you open your eyes and gazed into each other, both feeling the affection and attraction. “Shit...it drives me crazy when you look at me that way.” He went and kissed your lips, it was soft, slow and very passionate...you could feel all of his love in that kiss as you held on his biceps while his arms where between you for support.

“Where....else do you want me to kiss you?” He moved closer to you as he whispered near your ear, you felt his hot breathe which made you shiver. “A-Anywhere..” You were a blushing mess right now, but you weren't alone your boyfriend Levi’s face was redder than yours.

“O-Okay....Y/N I’m gonna make sure tonight you feel loved tonight, and I want you to focus right now how good you are and how wonderful you are.” As he said that, your face was burning up, ‘what made Levi say this all?’ you wondered.

He came closer to your neck, and was kissing it...you held on to him and hugged his chest, and he was doing it gently. This then left a small hickey on your neck and he was surprised as it was kind of dark.

“I will leave this mark on you so you can remember my love tonight, and know that you are always in my thoughts Y/N” He brought his hand and caressed your cheek which you held on, “And...when its gone, I’m here to give you another one.”

Perhaps, in the days you cry, there would be sad days, but today was a special day which was your birthday, and that not only gave you any tears but instead happy tears which was cause of Levi giving you the warmest/sweetest comfort and love throughout the whole day and especially the whole evening. You really did love Levi Ackerman.

well i hope you enjoyed this! I tried something new and I really see levi doing this for his s/o especially in days where he wants to make them feel loved and he really tries his best to comfort them <3 I hope you loved this anon and you get to see this and also if anyone else did please leave a like or a reblog! ♡

[i-simp-for-gintoki]

Itadori Yuji and Gojo Satoru thinking their s/o died

“Hey If you're comfortable can you do Reader with amazing regeneration power ( like deadpool lol ) For Yuji And Gojou? Like they don't know about their power tought they're dead but they just pop up back like nothing happens and explain their power to them? But if you're not comfortable it's okay! thank you” -anon

Sorry this took so long! I literally completely rewrote this like 6 times and decided in the end just to keep it relatively simple and not overly detailed. Gojo’s part includes spoilers from the manga (specifically the Hidden Inventory arc) only because thats the only time i could ever think of a situation where he would see and be near you when you get that injured.

Despite all these rewrites i still hate it-

Warnings: blood and injuries

Itadori Yuji:

Gojo had arrived to the classroom 8 minutes late as usual

Instead of training, he decided to hand out some missions to you first years

“Nobara and Megumi, you two are gonna go clean up a hospital and the surrounding area in the xxx district. Meanwhile, Yuji and y/n are gonna go clear out curses from some buildings by a cemetery in the xxx district. Shouldn’t be too difficult”

“You’re not gonna tell us which buildings?” itadori asks and the blindfolded man simply shrugs

“Your lovely y/n can sense the curses out with the power of love” he explains

You sigh and get up from your desk

“Yeah yeah, lets go Yuji” you say pulling your boyfriend’s hand

“Aw, no cute nicknames?” “Shut up Gojo-sensei” you say making your teacher frown

‘Never should have let gojo satoru of all people know that me and yuji are dating’ you think to yourself

And so you and yuji went off to fulfill the mission

It took a bit to get there but luckily it didn’t take long to find the curses

You decided to stick together as you searched the empty buildings

There was a small handful of the usual low grade curses that you guys took out pretty easily

But just when you guys thought you were done, a high level cursed appeared

“Man, I really wished Gojo-sensei would let us know if theres gonna be anything thats grade 2 or above” you say growing nervous and yuji nods his head

“Don’t worry, i’ll protect you” he says giving you a reassuring smile

And so you guys got serious and fought the curse

You both received a few scraps here or there but nothing too serious

Its when the curse switched up its attacks that it got particularly tricky

Instead of throwing cursed energy around, it shot disc blades out of its arm

You barely had enough time to duck out of the way

It went clean through the wall

“Yuji leave him to me” you say but he immediately denies your request

“No way! I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if you got hurt when I could have prevented it”

You were unsure but continued the fight anyways

After both of you sustaining many injuries, Itadori went for the final blow and ended it

Sadly before it fully faded away, it sent one final disc out

Flying straight past yuji, you didn’t have time to react and it went straight through your neck, essentially decapitating you

Your body falling limp onto the ground, the pink haired boy could only slowly turn around to face you

“...huh?”

Eyes wide as they could possibly be he called out your name and fell to his knees

“You’re joking right? Theres no way this really just happened...right?!” he yelled, voice cracking as he stared at your ‘corpse’

“Ooh such a shame. See if you just swapped places with me they would have lived. Atleast they wouldn’t have died to some low level curse” Sukuna said, mouth appearing on his cheek

“Shut up!”

At this point he was bawling

Tears were flooding out of his eyes even tho its only been about 10 seconds

As his shaking hands slowly picked your body up he mumbled a bunch of apologies but stopped when he saw something

Your head was beginning to regenerate

And he has to admit

Seeing your head fully regen like that was kinda disgusting

Opening your eyes, the first thing you see is a teary eyed boyfriend

“Yuji?” You ask and he pulls you into a very tight hug

“I’m so sorry y/n, I let you...I-I thought you died” he choked, still shaking as he held you

You sighed and returned his hug with as much love as possible

“I realize i never explained my ability to you huh? So you know reverse techniques? Its like that but much more advanced. Unless im completely blown away, i’m pretty sure I can’t die. I do however still feel the pain”

He nods his head at your explanation

You guys sit there for a bit as you quietly reassure everything is fine while rubbing his back

You kiss his cheek and stand up

For the rest of the day he is stuck onto you, just glomped on as much as you’ll allow him to be

It really scared him

It happened so fast and if you really had died...he doesn’t even wanna think about how he’d react

When you returned to the school, you didn’t bother reporting back to the principle or gojo and instead spent the rest of the day chilling with Yuji in the dorms

You could deal with the consequences later because for now

Loving yuji and making sure he’s happy is all that matters

Manga spoilers for Gojo under the cut

Second year!Gojo Satoru:

Its not completely accurate to what happened but shushhh

You guys had just come back from Okinawa and despite being on a serious mission you guys had fun

Well you did stay an extra day solely to stay at the beach but no one needed to know that-

But now the fun’s over and you were back at Jujutsu high safe inside its barriers

You could tell Satoru was absolutely finished with this mission, he was completely over it and exhausted

“Im done. No more baby sitting” he said leaning onto you

Resting his chin on top of your head he let out a yawn which made you laugh a bit

“Suguru. You can do the rest with Amanai right? I wanna go sleep and cuddle with y/n” he complained while wrapping his arms around you but suguru snapped back

“Huh? You think you can just walk away with them before the biggest part of this mission??”

He wanted gojo to see the mission through to the very end and not just ditch to go ‘cuddle with y/n’

When the boys continued to argue, gojo unwrapped his arms from you as he stepped closer towards getou

Sighing you gave riko a look and apologized which she simply smiled at

You only meant to take a step forward to intervene

Only a single small step

But your instincts where screaming that you push Satoru away with no second thought

Why did you follow your instincts so quickly? Why shove him so hard that he almost fell over? And why was there a searing hot pain in your gut?

“Im surprised you managed to push him out of the way on time, makes this whole effort for assassinating pointless don’t you think?”

As you slowly looked down you finally realized a sword had been stabbed into you, and that there was a new face right behind you

Ah, thats why then

“Y/n!!” Satoru yelled, blue eyes widening as he saw blood seep through your clothing and onto the concrete

As he and suguru instantly went into battle mode, the sword was harshly ripped out towards your side and cut an arm off in the process

As suguru used curses to hold toji back, satoru swore he teared up a bit as he picked you up and moved to a more safer spot

He couldn’t lose you, literally anyone but you

He’d be willing to die if you got to live

“Y/n your stomach..and arm..!” he yelled watching the blood pour out of you and showing no sign of stopping

Which just made him grow more and more panicked

You could feel his arms tremble as he held you and see that it was taking everything he had to not let the tears spill

“I-I don’t--this..this is my fault! The second i stop using my power this happens to you!” his emotions where spiraling more and more out of control

He couldn’t even see that the blood had already stopped

“Nothing is your fault Satoru. You can deal with the blame game later and instead go deal with the situation at hand” “But-”

“Satoru. i’ll be fine, focus on the enemy and protecting Riko.” you say wincing, already feeling it everything heal itself

“Fine?? Those injuries arent a ‘im fine’ injuries--!” you cut him off by harshly placing your hands onto his face to help him snap out of it

“Satoru. Im perfectly fine okay? So stop panicking.” you say pressing your forehead to his, though it was a bit awkward since he was taller than you

(if your taller than 190cm props to you and just ignore that part)

“Huh? Can reverse techniques be this advanced for shamans?” he asked, eyes still wide as he gently placed his hand on yours

He was in complete awe that your arm was back and looked perfectly normal

“My ability is basically a more advanced version of Shoko’s ability. I can regenerate anything and will be perfectly fine even if i lose my head. So ignore me for the time being and go kick the intruders ass” you say and he takes a deep breath before nodding his head

“wish you could have told me this before so i could have prevented all this panic” he said making you feel really guilty

“sorry! it just never came up before” you say flexing your regenerated arm, seeing if it felt right or not

You watched as he took off his sunglasses and handed them too you and turned towards Toji who was busy slaying a curse suguru threw at him

“Suguru and I will take Riko to Master Tengens place, im leaving this guy to you okay? Not like he’d win anyways, since after all-” he cut off what you were saying with a kiss before smirking

“After all, Im the strongest”

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

i wonder how exactly do people manage to get diagnosis? i'm suspecting i might have high-functioning depression, because in the past month all i do is sleep and eat and not shower for... days. i only shower when i feel very greasy. changing into proper clothes feels like a bother, so i never went out to get food, and rely on online delivery instead. seeing how much money i wasted bc i get deliveries instead of walking to food stalls is kinda alarming, but i'm aware that the other alternative is me not even eating at all. i only go to my campus like... 3x a week? i can manage to appear normal and feel a bit normal when with my friends, but my thesis is also pretty stressful. idk what i'm trying to convey but basically at campus i appear normal (except maybe my slow progress at thesis), but when i'm back at my dorms i become this... very passive person.

i'm seeing a therapist, mainly bc back when my thesis first started, i got so overwhelmed i had passive suicidal thoughts. but i find myself not being able to be honest abt the extent of my struggles. i'm very embarrassed to admit that i've been having difficulty with hygiene. my therapist gives off a mom vibe, so i think i'm scared to be judged for my lack of hygiene... not showering for days, not even changing my clothes or underwear, not brushing my teeth, not cleaning my living space and letting ants surround leftover food... so i always made myself presentable during session. idk, seeing as the session is in-person, i dont think she'd take it well if she know someone who didnt bathe for days entered her clean room. but me pretending that everything is okay makes her think im just having normal thesis struggles, which sucks. but im also scared to be honest abt my hygiene issues.

another thing is my social anxiety. its actually so bad that i cant go out of my dorm room without making sure there arent anyone outside. im not acquainted with anyone in the dorm, i dont even know their names or how they look. but im also scared to tell my therapist abt this??? im scared she will tell me to make friends to overcome my anxiety??? which is scary??? i feel self conscious bc what if someone has been paying attention to how i barely ever leave my room or that they never hear any showering sounds from me??? idk its scary. im pretty sure i have social anxiety, but my therapist has managed to make me open up and im not super quiet during sessions and can behave mostly like myself so i unconsciously put on a mask that always makes me be in denial abt my issues (in this case, pretending i have proper social skills, instead of admittinh i shrivel in fear when put in new social situations)

my thesis is also very much in bad state but instead of telling my therapist that my advisor thinks i havent been taking the thesis seriously (which hurts, bc i do worry abt its progress, even if it looks like im not making proper progress), i tell her that my worries arent proportional to the reality (bc my catastrophizing mind thought i would need to redo everything, while the reality is i only got told to make changes).

tldr im scared to be honest to my therapist bc of internalized shame and all that, even tho thats the reason i decided to pursue therapy? but also its scaryyy. esp the hygiene part. ppl around me are the clean types who hates messy stuff so i think it exacerbates the shame. esp bc i dont just have a messy room, but also havent been showering for days

Hi anon,

First of all I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling. Please know you're not alone. I admit that I also struggle with hygiene in a very similar way as well as consistently eating takeout, and I have diagnosed depression. It sounds like you have some big and intimidating responsibilities right now, and that's perhaps feeding into your depressive symptoms. You feel overwhelmed, misunderstood, and lost.

I understand the resistance to open up to your therapist about things that you have internalized shame about. Please just know that one of the main purposes of a therapist is to not make you feel judged or ridiculed, and any therapist who does do this doesn't deserve their position because it's damaging to a client. That is the last thing you need right now.

I can definitely relate to feeling judged by your therapist solely out of internalized shame alone and not any sort of cues on their end. In my experience, every time I did decide to open up about the thing I was ashamed about, it always ended up going much better than I anticipated. That being said, if you are picking up on cues from your therapist that makes you feel like she would judge you for opening up about this, then this therapist may not be a good fit for you. You deserve a therapist that doesn't make you feel judged.

I recognize that it can be an intimidating hurdle to decide to talk about these uncomfortable subjects with your therapist. But please consider that once you do choose to talk about it, your therapist can give you tools and direction to figure out how to manage both your depression and your social anxiety. Ultimately, it's important to take your time with this - don't feel pressured necessarily into opening up to your therapist, do so when you feel ready, but just consider the fact that you deserve help.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[kittydripuwu]

Hello, I'm the anon that requested the Dazai being kidnapped scenario and I didn't see it on your pinned post anymore. May I ask what happened to it / if I did anything wrong?

hi sorry omg, i posted it earlier but tumblr was acting up and i had to take it down and forgot to repost it! here u go :>

req - Can I request some angst to fluff where Dazai purposefully puts himself in a dangerous position and everyone thinks that he's dead so a usually stoic reader goes on a rampage in their grief on the organization that supposedly killed him during an agency raid but then finds out that he's alive? And reader hasn't confessed their feelings yet?

never again | dazai x reader

words - 1951

warnings - swearing, angst

genre - angst/fluff?

note - this is so poorly written im sorry my ideas were ALL over the place :’)

the long period of time in which the agency had upheld peace and quiet with all of the known criminal organizations in yokohama, had come to an end. the port mafia and the agency had started to notice odd and quite brutal murders around the city. at first, the agency thought it was the mafia going on a killing rampage, only to notice the method used to assasinate was quite different from the mafia's. whoever it was, they killed brutally, leaving an X cut into their victims throats. they were a bloodthirsty bunch and all they were here for was to kill and take over any other gifted organizations.

the agency had already dealt with a few attacks, but none with other ability users making it easy to fight them. everyone from this unknown organization seemed to dress in all black and wear sunglasses to cover their mysterious identities. when taken hostage, they wouldnt speak, no matter what was done to them, it was an impossible case.

you had been calm throughout everything the agency went through in the last few weeks, knowing that you and your fellow agency members knew how to fight well and deal with these kinds of situations. it was all peaceful and quiet that day when you were sitting in the office doing some work until, the agency building was yet again attacked. an ability user with an inferno ability, able to burn anything down to ash. they did not seem to seek destruction of the city but rather, the people in it. it was a difficult fight but you and your colleauges were able to get through it as always.

after this, the president of the armed detective agency declared it a case to find out more and stop this organization, but urged everyone to do it at a distance.

"whatever you do, do not go near anybody from this unknown group of people. they seem to seek bloodthirst, and will kill everyone in their path" he said during a meeting that occured that same day. you knew this wasn't going to be easy but you were going to try to do as much as you can to help.

it was getting pretty late and you had just finally finished some work, standing up and heading out the door to head home. you walked the streets cautiously, knowing that at this point in time, the city wasn't particularly safe. you ended up getting home with no troubles, and instanly falling asleep after a long and tiring day. meanwhile, there was still one person in the agency who was awake during the long hours of the night, and that was dazai osamu. despite what he was told by the president, he had his own plans for how he was going to find out information. he knew this could easily get him killed and he knew this was dangerous but it was the only way he could think of.

dazai's plan didn't seem all that bad to him, he was simply going to find one of them roaming the streets, disarm them and question them. he was aimlessly roaming the streets at night in search of one of the people dressed in black, with nothing on him but a loaded gun. he didn't really know why he chose such a dangerous plan, he knew there was a high chance that he could be killed but all of that didn't matter to him now. he, who had been concealing his emotions for too long, feeling empty and inhuman on this planet, felt somewhat at peace when coming this close to death. he kept trying to tell himself that if he died helping the agency, helping you, maybe everything would have been worth it after all, maybe the pain and suffering was worth something, maybe it would mean that he was finally a good person.

but no, none of these invasive thoughts were true, for when he ran into one of the unknown men dressed in black, he had broken a promise he made long ago to a dear friend.

he stood above the man who was on the ground now, disarmed. this man was unlike the others, he spoke. maybe it was dazai's forceful interrogation methods, or maybe it was just another man surrendering. he told dazai about the organization's intentions, where their base was and all about their powerful ability users. he told him that the only way to get rid of them, was to kill them all. they were a group of soulless men, wanting nothing more but to kill and take over yokohama.

"kill me" he pleaded after speaking to him about the organization.

"please kill me"

"why do you wish to die?" dazai asked him.

"there is no place for me in this world" he said simply.

this sparked something in dazai, he understood suffering very well and he could tell by this man's voice that he was in pain, and like dazai, he desired nothing more but to get a taste of sweet death.

"i'm sorry oda" he whispered to himself before shooting the man a few times.

after this, he continued to wander the empty streets, realising that the only way to fight them was going against agency rules. but he thought if he was able to do this on his own, maybe he could keep you and everyone at the agency, safe. he managed to reach the base of the place, and seeing no one around to gaurd it, he simply walked in. he managed to sneak through to what looked like a computer room. there were plenty of computers and different kinds of technology, but none of that mattered when he saw a usb on one of the desks in the room. he was quick to slip it into his pocket right before three men appeared in the doorway.

there was something different about these men, they didn't instantly shoot, but rather took him as a hostage. these men spoke aswell, they told him that they wouldn't kill him yet, but rather wanted to find out more about the other organizations in yokohama. they said they had questioned multiple people already, who gave them nothing of use and were brutally murdered. he was handcuffed and left to sit in this room until dawn.

you woke up feeling pretty sore and tired from all the events of the day before. after getting ready, you took your regular route to the agency with caution, ready to attack if need be. when you arrived at the office, you were informed that dazai never came back to the agency dorm that night, and that he had gone missing. normally, everyone including you would treat this as just dazai being dazai, but with the current state of the city, everyone began to panic. there was a meeting to discuss the next plan of action after multiple phone calls to him, resulting in no reply.

"dazai would never do this in such a situation"

"he wouldn't disrespect the presidents order's like this"

"not in a situation like this for sure"

"i agree, he may be reckless but not so much to go this far"

you sat through the meeting, mind filled with worry as you listened to what everyone was saying. you've always gotten along very well with dazai, and always found him to be a very interesting person. you hated to admit it but, you liked him, alot. you were too shy to confess to him for the longest time but you had promised yourself to finally do it after all of this was finally over.

"could he be dead?"

"ranpo help us out here"

"no can do, all i know is that he's most likely at thier base"

after being so caught up in your own thoughts, this managed to snap you back into reality. dazai osamu. dazai osamu was dead? no, you tried to tell yourself that you shouldn't even consider that but the thought kept coming back to haunt you.

"everyone search for him" said the president as he dismissed everyone.

you and your fellow agency memebers spent the day looking for dazai. you looked in all the spots you knew he could be, but he was nowhere to be found, and his phone going straight to voicemail when called.

if he didn't show up the next morning, everyone would presume him as dead. you couldn't sleep that night, your thoughts draining you with worry and sorrow.

the next morning, dazai was still gone. everyone was worried and discussing what to do, when you simply stormed out of the meeting room, running out of the building.

"i'll kill them all i swear i'll kill every last one of them" you muttered to yourself as you ran down the streets, looking out for anyone who was wearing black. your thoughts were now clouded with fear, worry and rage as you desperatley searched the streets for someone to give you information. no one seemed to reveal anything, no one spoke, not a single one of them. you had no choice but to hurt them and even kill a few in order to get something. one of them managed to croak out an adress as you repeatedly kicked them while holding a gun to their head. luckily, you hadn't encountered any ability users, only weak men who were too easy to disarm.

"what did you say?" you asked the man.

"o-our base" he replied, in between coughs.

within a minute, you were out of the alleyway, back on the street and heading to the given address. you swore to yourself that you would make sure anyone who hurt dazai would be dead.

lost in your thoughts, you weren't paying attention to where you were going when you bumped into someone. you looked up, only to see a familiar face.

"y/n?"

you began to cry. dazai was standing right infront of you, looking down at you in confusion.

"what the fuck is wrong with you" you said between sobs, throwing your arms around him.

"what??" he replied, hugging you back.

"everyone thought you were dead" you said as you cried into his shoulder.

"i was only gone for 2 days" he replied, rubbing your back gently to calm you down.

"where the fuck were you?" you asked after a few minutes of silence, pulling out of the hug.

"i got myself caught by the organization to find out information"

"why would you do that"

"because that was the only way" he replied, with no emotion in his voice.

"please don't ever do that to me again" you said as you looked down while you two began to walk back to the agency.

dazai knew how you felt about him, despite the fact that you haven't confessed. he felt the same way but he wasn't going to tell you that, he was going to wait for you to do it.

he stopped in his tracks suddeny and turned you around, pulling you into his arms, and hugging you tightly.

"never again" he said, as you gladly accepted the hug.

he wanted to make sure you knew that he cared about you. he wasn't very expressive of it, but he told himself he would do anything to protect you and the agency, no matter what it took.

you two then returned to the agency, where everyone began to yell at dazai but also praise him for the information he was able to get. they knew exactly how many of them there were, the abilities they had, and how to properly deal with them. thanks to him, the agency was once again able to save the city.

[ndiecity]

idk ur still doing the confessions thing but anyway. it's not really wild or anything, i just needed to get it off my chest lol (you can ignore this if you want this gets pretty long and confusing i think so buckle up)

also shoutout to the 6th grade anon, i had a similar 6th grade exp. middle schoolers are the worst. i literally had little no friend AND was bullied lol.

anyway there was this one girl in my class that was like a sorta popular girl i was friends with. so during 6th grade, i had no friends except for her (i dont think she saw me as a friend tho or were even friends in the first place?? idk) and i would always crave her attention. i didn't know i had a crush on her i think.

(side note: i would rate the girls in my class based on how pretty and nice to me they are, (i think i put her on 2nd lol))

so then whenever she was absent for the day i would feel sad and all that shit. whenever she was around i always do anything to please her or make her think im cool or something (i was not cool, i was a loser). we would talk endlessly on messenger, talking abt random shit, how shitty her mom was, how shitty my mom was etc. one time during our first class for the day (which was about 5am i think) she was acting weird, i asked her about it, she said her stomach hurt. so me, being all lovesick and shit gave her my lunch ( i didn't have lunch money and only had sandwiches lol) when she thanked me for it, and said she felt better, i felt so proud. idk i just felt so happy then

fast forward to end of 6th grade, we were graduating. by that i mean transitioning from 6th grade to 7th grade. anyway. so we graduated, kept in touch, still messaged her on messenger, and then school got in the way and my phone got taken away cuz i failed sum classes in the 2nd quarter. never had it back since. so we didnt talk for about 4 years.

so back in 2020, my parents got me a laptop for school, and i made a new mess. acc. i reached out to her again. we talked, talked abt shitty moms, i found out she's bi and i told her im a lesbian. after a few days i asked her if she'd ever had a gf or bf or whatever (like the idiot i was) and said she didnt have to answer if she didnt want to obvi. she said yes she's had bf's before. i said, cool. then she asked me why i was asking i told her i was just curious.

then came out of nowhere, she said, "wanna try?" so then my brain shut off and i didnt reply for minutes then she just sent a "haha"

and she was like, "oh sorry was that weird? sorry😬"

but i said it was fine and shit. we didnt talk about it for about a day.

then we were talking again and i was like, "so this is gonna sound weird but do you ever like, like someone and would want a romantic relationship with them but wouldn't like, mind being their friend instead? like youre in the middle?"

and she said "yeah, i have" so then i was like "oh cool, cool"

then she asked, "why? have you?" and i said yes.

then she asked who. and my brain shut off again lmaoo so i was just like "you" the speech bubble appeared multiple times lmao then i followed up with like, "sorry! that was weird! please just forget about it!"

then she was like, "no no, it's fine. i feel the same way" (and i beliived it. how naive was i?)

so then i was like, "really?? cool cool cool" (im a really awkward person okay)

then after a few minutes of talking again (you know when you're like flirting as a joke but then it's not a joke anymore? lol) she was like, "so wanna be my gf?"

my brain shut off again. i didnt answer for a few minutes cuz my brain was dead. then she was like, "um was that too fast? that was too fast sorryy"

by the time i read that my hand was shaking lmaoo (from nervousness or shock i dont know) so i hastily replied with, "nah its fine. i would love too" after overthinking it and shit

does dating count when your just talking over text? what is dating????

anyway we flirt a lot, saying goodnight, i love you's and shit. she said i was her first gf, i said she was my first relationship and what not. i was genuinely happy. i had a person who understood me, and liked me, and i was happy. she even said she saved my bday on her phone

so then like about a week and a before my bday was when shits started to go down.

i messaged her, said a quick goodmorning cuz i had classes and how i wanted to kill myself and shit like that (dont worry, im not actively suicidal and she already knew this) she replied and i quote "Good morning, love. I love you."

then like after classes, i messaged her, asked how her day was, told her about my day etc. i waited about an hour. (she doesnt typically reply for about 10 - 15 minutes cuz duh she does have a more eventful life than mine) so i thought none of it. thought she was just busy. so it was nighttime and still no word from her. so i said good night and wished for her to be safe.

morning came, i checked my messages, still nothing, she didnt even see it yet. i went on with my day thinking nothing of it. told myself she might have some problems at home and all that. by the 3rd day, i was pretty anxious and i couldnt think properly. my brain conjuring up scenarios where her mom found out, and her phone got taken away. anything just to convince myself what the dreaded truth was.

it was the 5th day was when i gave up. i saw she changed her pfp, and captioned it like she would normally caption it. replied to the comments, that kind of shit. so then i was so mad by then so i commented too. ofc she didnt reply. i spent days worrying over her safety, when in reality she's just an asshole. and i really thought she really like me you know? i really thought she'd at least considered me as her friend, i guess not

my bday came, we had a party but i wasn't really feeling it ya know? by then i'd already spent the past week crying myself to sleep. no one noticed a thing.

a few months ago i saw she had a bf, and by that time i already felt like my old self again, no longer the broken pathetic shell she left. i was back to square one. so i cried again.

present day, i still see her posts, her ig stories, (i dont think she blocked me). and i cant bring myself to block her either. like idk on one hand i'm so mad that she just left me hanging, that her relationship with her new bf lasted longer than we were together and on the other i knew if she ever reached out again, i would latch on to every inch of her. (that's probably bad lol)

anyway have a nice day/afternoon/night!!!! i hope i havent troubled you too much lol sorry!

Damn that's a lot to take in, I'm sorry 😔

[fandom-puff]

Enough

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader

Requested by: anon

Prompts: “I‘m never going to be good enough for you, am I?” (49 from list 2)

Summary: you’re not a barmaid. You don’t train horses. You’re nothing compared to the other women in his life

Warnings: swearing, arguments, very brief harassment

“YN!” John’s voice rang out from the side room. “Come ‘ere, girl, come and sit with us!”

You smiled weakly at him. He always tried to include you. “A-Actually, I was just heading home,” you said softly, walking over to him, ignoring Tommy pouring out a gin for May Carleton.

“Don’t give me that bullshit. Is it Finn? D’you want us to tell him to fuck off? We know he’s off putting- oi, Finn, go play with the other kids, yeah, fuck off,”

You giggled slightly. “No... it’s not... it’s not Finn, you can sit down,” you said, and the youngest Shelby grinned at you in thanks.

Esme, johns wife appeared at the door. “You can sit with me if you like. Lord knows I need some female company while him and Arthur are playing cards,” she smirks, jabbing him in the rib with her elbow.

You smile softly and give in. “Fine,” you said. Once the door was shut, you leaned to Esme, murmuring, “you’d think you’d have plenty of female company what with Tommy bouncing between Mrs Carlton and the barmaid,”

John overheard and snorted into his whiskey and esme glared at him. She looked at you sympathetically, and said in a hushed voice once the boys were distracted by cards again, “you still love the fucker, don’t you?”

Signing, you looked down to your lap, fidgeting with your hands. “Mm-Hm,” you confirmed. “He just... he confuses me so much. He cuts it off with me after the war, saying he needs space when really he was chasing that barmaid spy... she fucks off after he has her, and he comes back to me for a quick one. I was a fool to let him, because not two weeks later it’s May Carlton this, May Carlton that,” you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose, hating to admit that you were jealous. But underneath that, you felt vulnerable. Inadequate.

“He’s a cock, YN,” esme said, rubbing your shoulder gently.

“Who’s a cock, Es?” John asks. Nosey bastard.

Esme sighed softly. “Thomas. Flaunting the horse woman round YN. Says she was born riding, but I bet she’s only ever ridden Fillies she inherited. Never had to break one in herself,” she rolled her eyes.

John and Arthur looked at you, smiling sympathetically. “If it’s any consolation to you, YN, we prefer you over an Irish spy or some posh woman any day of the week,” Arthur said. “You were with Tom since you were sixteen, and since he er... broke things off... he’s been a right dick,”

You smiled softly. Arthur and John would’ve made such lovely brothers in law. “Thanks, boys,” you sighed. “But it’s not... it’s not that I’m mad at him for seeing other women, he can do what he wants. It’s the seeing me in between and then ignoring me. I-I know I’m no good. I know I’m boring. I know I’m useless. Just... he doesn’t seem to be arsed about how I feel, even though I care so much about him. It’s like rubbing salt into an open wound- I don’t even know why I’m talking about this to you lot of all people,” you let out a high, nervous laugh. Esme patter your back as John and Arthur each reached to squeeze one of your hands reassuringly.

“What’s going on?” Tommy asked, the door now what as he slipped into the room. May was nowhere in sight.

“Where’s your girlfriend, Thomas?” Esme spat. You were glad for her venemous tongue sometimes.

Tommy rolled his eyes and barely regarded his sister in law. “May Carlton has left small Heath to go back to her home,” he said bluntly. “To tend to my horse,”

“Even though you’ve got Curly here. He’s the best at horses,” you blurted, without really thinking.

“Yn,” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “What would you know about horses?”

His words stung. He had taught you how to ride when you were 16. He’d taught you how to tell what a horse was feeling, how to calm a nervous mare, how to get a horse to behave without taking to the crop or the whip. In your letters while he was in France you always made sure to tell him how the horses in the yard were getting on, and he told you about the beautiful chestnut stallion he had seen, the dappled mare which the commander rode. “Only what you taught me,” you whispered, tears pooling in your eyes. “Only what you taught me before you went off to France. Before that fucking war and then that fucking copper ruined everything,” you pulled away from esme’s comforting pats, from John and Arthur’s sympathetic gaze, from Finn’s baffled look. You stared at tommy, taking a deep breath to say something scathing, but could only manage a small sob.

You hated yourself for it. Tommy grabbed your arms but you wriggled from his grasp. “Look, YN, calm down, love, we’ll talk-“

“Love? Love?” You hissed. “You lost your right to call me anything but my name months ago. Don’t you coddle me, Thomas Shelby, because I know exactly what you’re thinking. I‘m never going to be good enough for you, am I? I’m never going to be a pretty Irish barmaid who keeps a pistol in her handbag. I’m never going to be a prostitute you wouldn’t let your brother marry because you wanted her all to yourself. I’m never going to be some rich widow with a big house and a wealth of knowledge about horses. All I gave you, ten years of my life, my innocence, my youth... it was never good enough for you, was it?” tears were streaming down your face.

“Yn,” Tommy said.

“No,” you pushed past him. “Don’t bother,” you slammed the door to the snug. As you walked out of the pub, a man grabbed at your wrist.

“Need some cheering up, darling?” He snarled, Hans tracing your thigh.

“Get your filthy fucking hands off me before I rip your fucking balls off and shove ‘em down your own throat,” you growled, yanking your hand away from him, and storming home.

Men were the worst. All toe rags, you decided.

***

A week has passed since your argument with tommy. Each of the Shelby’s had tried reaching out to you- you were practically a sister to them for ten years before Tommy decided he’d had enough.

You sighed as the door knocked. “As much as I appreciate it Arthur,” you sighed as you took the chain off. “Im really not in the mood to spend my night drinking away my sorrows with you and John- oh. It’s you,”

You immediately looked down, not wanting to look into those blue eyes, that perfect face. That stupid, perfect face.

“YN... look,” he said slowly, carefully. The same way he would coax a nervous filly to trust him. “I’ve been... ive been a bastard, okay. I’m sorry. I still... I still love you,”

You snorted. “Explain that to everyone within a mile radius of May Carlton’s house, hmm?” You said bitterly. “Or to the horse you named ‘Grace’s Secret’”

Tommy sighed. “I know you hate me, YN... but... I love you. I haven’t stopped loving you since we were 16 in my uncle Charlie’s Yard, hiding from your dad. When we used to sit by the cut eating those pretty little cakes you used to make. I used to give you the strawberry off the top of mine, so long as you gave me some of your buttercream. We wrote to eachother every week while I was in France, sometimes twice, three times, even. I still have those letters, YN. You used to put a spritz of your perfume in each one and do a little kiss in all your different lipsticks so it was like you were hugging and kissing me all those miles away,”

As he spoke, he was slowly backing you into your living room, until you were both sitting down. “I didn’t bring you flowers, because I know you only really like them in the spring and summer, because they wilt too fast and look too sad in the autumn and winter. And if it was spring, I would’ve gotten you roses or violets or pansies, because I know lilies and chrysanthemums make you sneeze,” a fresh round of tears slipped out of your shut eyes. You couldn’t bare to look at him under his intense gaze- you knew you’d break down after just a second.

“Tommy,” you whispered softly. It was the first time you’d called him by his nickname in over a year

“I know that you can’t sleep without snuggling into something- blankets normally- but... it used to be me, and I miss it so much, YN,” he said the last part in a soft, quiet voice.

You let out a soft cry, moving to his side, allowing him to engulf you in his arms and hold you tight, the way he held you the night before he went off to war. You cried into his chest, and we’re sure he was crying into your hair for more than an hour, finding long lost comfort in one another’s arms, the way they slotted so well together despite so long apart.

“I want this to work Tommy,” you eventually whispered. “I want it to be how it was,” you felt him not his head.

“No more secrets, YN. No more women. Only you. The only woman I’ve ever truly loved,”

You sighed softly and nodded, snuggling into him the way he pointed out you did. “Come on. Let’s get you to bed, you look like you haven’t slept in days,” he said guiltily, picking you up and carrying you upstairs. As he was tucking you in, you grabbed his hand, eyes suddenly alert.

“Don’t leave me again,” you whispered, squeezibv his hand. He squeezed back, before kicking off his shoes and taking off his belt, sliding into bed behind you, cuddling you close the way you did all those years ago. It seemed the most natural thing to do, and he almost sighed with relief when you snuggled close. He kissed the top of your head gently.

“Never, YN... never again,”

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