#im still gonna try of course. but im going to assume she will be paid more than me. bc she will be doing more than me.

[orcelito]

Honestly the store has come a long, long way since last January where we were legitimately going to hold a store-wide strike b4 the boss and then-manager panicked and started holding meetings with all of us to try to figure out what to do about it

It's still a workplace, but our current employees r in general much happier and content. + there's a better community in general. It's nice to know I had a part in making this happen.

[leafcabbage]

heck yeah!!!! the sneeg of the snag variety himself!!

do you have many thoughts about him? because i am going to be thinking about this all day and the main one is going to be sneeg trying really hard to be a distant mentor and not care about ranboo because it's obvious to everyone that they're not gonna make it to the second day but somewhere along the line he looks at them and realizes "fuck i would both kill and die for them" and so he tries to be more distant to save himself when they inevitably die, but ranboo ends up thinking that they've done something wrong and they keep trying to make it up to sneeg but nothing seems to be working- aaaasaaaahdkalajdksksl the angst potential of this, kale!

val you have no idea how autistic you have made me. no idea. thank you so very much. everythings under the cut as usual im just doing that in general with this because it always ends up long smh

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT HIM AND YOU!! ARE DEFINITELY ON THE RIGHT TRACK!!! SO first of all. ranboo is like 16 when they're in the games. that's just worth saying. i made them a little younger than in drdi because why would i NOT. (this makes ranboo and tubbo 16 and tommy 15 btw. just for reference.) sneeg is the winner of the 64th hunger games when he was 14 (10 years ago from when ranboo's is wow!) he won with literally a whole ass knife stuck in his side but he still won. now its fun to note that no one from district 8 has won since. every other tribute has died. theres another mentor though of course, the one who mentored sneeg is still around so each tribute gets a mentor.

ok all that done

so of course there are two tributes from 8, ranboo and an 18 year old who is accustomed to physical labor and has a much better chance than ranboo. and of course sneeg ends up mentoring ranboo and the other person mentors the male tribute. now ranboo is 16, theyre terrified, they know they're going to die and they just dont want it to hurt too badly. they have no one at home who cares (theres still lorraine in this au but like. she sure doesnt give a shit if ranboo comes back) and they just want someone to care. unfortunately, sneeg has dealt with watching too many kids die, and he doesnt even want to hope that ranboo might make it through, even through sheer luck. he doesnt want to be an asshole, but he's tired. i think yknow, its not that ranboo doesnt know what they did to make sneeg "not like" them, they just assume that he's the same as everyone else out there who has decided they arent worth it.

but yeah, unfortunately ranboo is very hard for sneeg not to care about. tributes have a week of training, and its like, the night of the 4th day after the individual sessions where each tribute gets a score that he finds ranboo sitting out on the balcony. they got a 4 or something, pretty much the lowest of the group. he sits down with them, and hes trying to figure out something to say that might make them feel a little better about the whole thing, and before he can, they point down at a building and are like "you see that support? if you took that out, the whole structural integrity would be compromised. it would be easy to take out after that." and sneeg is like ".... okay?" and ranboo just kinda shrugs and is like "i just noticed it i guess." and sneeg is like "okay, what else have you 'just noticed'?" and they end up having a whole conversation and it turns out that ranboo has a very good eye for how things can fall apart. something that sneeg might have been able to work when directing them on what to do in training and for strategy if he had just paid attention. and he feels incredibly guilty about that.

but its not guilt that makes him care about them. unfortunately it turns out that theyre pretty funny despite being resigned to death and theyre just generally a good kid and he breaks his own rule about not caring about tributes. he helps them come up with what to say during the interviews, how to play a part that might get them sponsors, how to make themself seem like a little less of a target. he and ranboo run through all the different techniques they could use for survival despite their lack of strength or fighting ability. both think its kind of useless, but they both want to believe that maybe it'll help. it keeps ranboo from deciding to step off the pedestal and just blow themself up at the start at least. they have one person on their side at least, and that's better than they've had in years. (of course, theres tommy and tubbo too, but ranboo isnt entirely sure yet that they arent just gonna get killed in their sleep at some point lmao)

each tribute gets to bring a token into the arena with them. ranboo didn't have one before coming to the capitol, but they have one going in to the arena. im not sure what its gonna be yet, but i do know it would be from sneeg.

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?

I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.

TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface

Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.

And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie

What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?

Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”

So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?

The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it

ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN

Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ

The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel

Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-

Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.

Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died

I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?

Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional

Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?

“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?

Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)

20 minutes in and I wanted to give up

So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??

The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?

AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR

“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you

So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar

I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes

“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED

“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT

The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired

“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY

STOP THE FACES IM-

^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^

So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-

It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all

Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?

For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again

Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?

Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?

So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one

WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME

The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain

Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY

I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought

“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do

Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!

“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?

“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf

Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park

“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t

So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦‍♀️

“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT

EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT

“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT

The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film

This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.

Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)

This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot

WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-

I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...

I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.

LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there

The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not

I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.

Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess

So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up

YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH

The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-

I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious

“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT

“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU

“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-

ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU

There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful

Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.

Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?

And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???

She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there

So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???

Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!

She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender

The less said about the musical number here the better

Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!

ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING

Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number

The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.

Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨

I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything

“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?

There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES

Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???

Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number

Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.

Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.

The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?

Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”

Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES

“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY

“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT

Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever

This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*

Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end

I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level

She got a service dog puppy which... okay?

Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!

I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing

AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻

Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.

We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.

As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.

[blxetsi]

Can I get some Reiner content pls? Hcs with the kids, cooking, date nights, embarrassing moments, pets, anything!

tysm for requesting !

reiner braun dating headcanons (modern au)

college!reiner braun x gn!reader

warnings: nothing i think, lol meations of his weird parents 

- reiner would be SO NERVOUS around you when he realized he liked you

- definitely started out as friends to lovers, you knew each other through a mutual friend bertholdt, but really became friends when you shared a class one semester

- when he realized he liked you it was in the most mundane situation ever,,, you, reiner, annie, porco, and bertholdt had gotten together for a movie night, and he was literally just about to put his hand on ur shoulder to ask if you wanted a drink (he was gonna get one for himself) and his hand stopped mid air when he realized he had butterflies LMAOOO

- this mf would become sooooo on edge around you,, like you knowing he had a crush was the end of the world 🙄

- annie and bertholdt would talk to him about it (and by that i mean annie would call him a big baby while bertholdt nods along) and then he'd become more relaxed with you once more

- when you two started dating he became nervous ALL OVER again

- insecurities and doubts came seeping into his mind and he wouldnt help but be overbearing at times

- he just wanted to be a good bf 🥺 he doesnt want you to leave him 😭🤚

- you two talk about it one night and it helps calm his doubts

- thats also the first night you two slept in the same bed 🤩

- he was so blushy the next morning, he couldnt look at you without his face and ears becoming red

- is a total tiny spoon idc idc

- sometimes he babysits his cousin gabi when he goes home, so when he took you with him for the first time (it was christmas break) you got to meet her !!

- shes a hyper little thing but so sweet, and she practically DEMANDS that reiner let her paint his nails for him 😭🤚

- you also meet her friends too !! but she tells you that the blond boy falco is her BEST best friend, as opposed to her regular best friends

- you can tell reiner is on edge during family dinners, especially the one you guys had on christmas day, and when you two get to campus you ask him whats wrong

- he tells you that his relationship with his family is a bit strained, primarily his parents

- he loves them of course !! but sometimes they just make him feel,,, not good

- but he reassures you that its okay, and that hes glad they didnt start anything when you were there

- you dont believe its okay but you dont push him

- he brushes the tip of his nose a lot, especially when hes nervous

- its not him like,, picking it or anything he'll just rub the tip with the knuckles of his index finger, he looks rlly cute doing it

- also tries to get you to go to the gym with him, bertie, and annie

- if its something youre into then great !! he keeps inviting you, but if you arent into it he gets a little sad :(

- but its okay ! you try to see him after his workouts with water and something for him to eat

- this is what makes him bring up living together

- i mean, annie practically lives with him and bertie now, whats one more person ?

- and its better because you wont have to come all the way from your apartment to his just to wait for him,,, you can be at HOME and do stuff until they come back from the gym

- it takes a little bit of swaying, but then he brings up being able to spoon him EVERY NIGHT and youre sold 😐👍

- you dont want to ogle at your bf so much,, but seeing him carry boxes from the foyer of the apartment to his bedroom where youre unpacking things is a,,, sight to see

- you asked him to just keep holding the box he had in the doorway of his room while your eyes roamed his arms and chest,, specifically his biceps and pecs

- YOU GOTTA BIG TITTY BF 🥰‼️

- he just stands there like 🙁 until he finally says "y/n please my arms are getting tired just tell me where to put it" lol No ❤️

- after you move in with him and bertie, things get a bit more cramped, specifically in reiners room

- its nothing you two cant handle, just with your things there sometimes its hard to find things, or youre bumping into dressers and tables and beds

- and lets be honest reiners room isnt even big enough for REINER

- so after a year of enduring it, you two decide to get a place of your own !!

- you got two bedrooms so one you could turn into a shared office and the other you could make your bedroom, and this makes things WAYYYYY easier

- by the time you move in youre already so close to your two year anniversary

- you dont think anniversaries are that important so you guys just went out to see a movie last year, but this year ?? reiner has something PLANNED

- and u know this bc you mightve accidentally found his laptop still open in the office,,, with "anniversary plans" written out in a google doc,,, and reiner was in the bathroom and you were nosy,,,

- so you snooped and read it all 😐🙄

- when reiner brings up youre anniversary youre distracted so you say "babe ill do what you got planned dw"

- he just looks at you like "how did you know i had something planned 😃⁉️"

- ANYWAYS LOL

- after that awko taco moment you play it off like "oh i just assumed lol" AND HE BUYS IT !! AHAHAHAHHAHA

- you two go out dressed to the NINES 🤩✨ and you had this weird night on the town 😭😭

- you guys did that food trend on tiktok where you do rock paper scissors and the winner gets to choose drinks, food, dessert etc..

- then you took everything and had a little picnic in the park, and you watched the sunset together 🤩🤚

- then he took you to a fireworks show they had near downtown, and watching the colours mix with the stars in the sky was so beautiful

- it started raining after tho 😭😭😭 and you two had to run back in the rain to the car like it was a MOVIE

- it was an unconventional kind of anniversary date but it was so fun, and reiner was so glad you enjoyed it

- then he brought up what you two would do after college

- "so,, graduation is in a couple of months, and ive already got a job set. and i dont know about you but, im staying in the city after we graduate. i just wanted to know if youll be moving out or, going somewhere else..."

- your heart BREAKS bc youre so sad hes just assuming that youll leave him after graduation, WHICH YOU WONT DO

- you have a paid internship at a facility in the city, so you tell him exactly that and that youll stay with him if its what he wants

- you can tell hes more than relieved, and get so blushy when you kiss his wet face all over

- "reiner i love you."

- HE SHORT CIRCUITS. SWERVES ON THE ROAD AND EVERYTHING !

- but he tells you the exact same thing

- "y/n i love you too."

- and he really does

ive just realized this and all of my other dating hcs arent actually headcanons so much as ideas that i put in point form 😐🤚 gotta work on that 😁👍

anyways requests open hope u enjoyed

[mybrothershands]

MBH/Dumpling Crossover 4/4

By myself and @diddlesanddoodles , edited by @thundering-susurrus

Saen was making quick work of his remaining peeled pumpkin, and Yale was pleased to have the whole pan filled and sizzling. The earthenware dish was stacked high enough, he felt, to warrant bringing it down to Kol and Quinn so they could get the first couple of the pies baking. Bart and Avery would have gotten the first few of the rocs onto the spits, and he was sure a few more would be chucked into one of the other ovens. If they timed it just right, just as one pie was finished baking, the next would be ready to put in, the goal being that all of the pies would be baked just as the last of the rocs finished off.

But the timing would be tight.

Ka did not seem to notice the change in pace, as he was focusing on the little stone he had brought up to his face to inspect. It looked much like a grain of rice between his fingers, but he lauded the girl's find nonetheless. "Kind of marbled and sparkly, isn't it?" he said, offering it back to Nenani.

Anything she might have said was drowned out by Cairo. From his vantage point on the table, he could very nearly bark directly into Ka's ear when he was bent down. So he did. "Ka!"

The giant flinched and looked up. "What is it now?"

Cairo simply pointed at the two pies Yale had brought over earlier. "Eat," he ordered.

"I have to get this done--"

"Don't argue with me! It could be hours before you get done," he said, still pointing.

Ka sighed and, making sure Nenani had taken the stone, reached for his satchel and rummaged around. Upon finding a spoon, he set the pack aside and reached to take one of the meat pies. "Demanding," he grumbled.

Yale turned to Saen, holding out the dish filled with cooked pumpkin. “Go run this to Quinn will ye?”

Wiping his hands on his apron, Saen rounded the table and claimed the dish from Yale before turning to hurry towards the archway.

“You’ve already got half of them done,” Nenani said, looking at the largely reduced pile of gourds. “How many pies do you need to make?”

“I think Quinn’s aimin’ fer about six,” Yale replied. “They’re pretty large ones, so they’ll be enough fer the top table, but the main attraction is sure to be the roasts.”

Just as Saen made it to the bottom of the stairs and into the kitchen proper, a loud voice bellowed from within. “IS THAT ALL YE THREE HAVE MANAGED?”

Yale froze, sighed, and mentally prepared himself for a tongue lashing. Even before Farris reached the top of the steps, he was continuing on with his tirade. “YE TELLIN’ ME THIS LOT CAN GET ALL THESE DAMN BIRDS DISPATCHED, PLUCKED, AND ROASTIN’ IN THE SAME TIME IT TAKES THREE OF YE TO PEEL AND FRY A SINGLE PLATE OF FUCKIN’ PUMPKIN?”

When he reached the landing, he stood with his arms akimbo and glowered fiercely at Yale and Ka. His face was already turning red, a single vein in his forehead throbbing with ire.

Ka nearly choked on his spoon, he jumped so hard. He pushed the pie back onto the table, a single scoop taken from it. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” he mumbled to himself as he tried to cut the pumpkin with the handle of the knife. The giant quickly spun the knife around. Within seconds he had gutted and broken down the pumpkin in his lap, and was reaching for another when another voice started barking commands.

"What did I just say? You need to eat something," Cairo said. In response, Ka shook his head, but did not speak. "Boy, you're twice his size. Stand up for yourself."

Still, the giant did not speak and kept his focus on peeling the next pumpkin.

Farris marched with purposeful strides towards them, his gaze set upon Ka. But at the last moments, as he reached them, he turned to Yale. “What in the seven hells are ye all doin’ out here that it takes ye thing long to get me some damn fried gourds, boy?”

“Sorry boss,” Yale replied mechanically. “We’re nearly done.”

“What’s the holdup then? Did ye forget we’re in a bit of a crisis here? Or ye feel like explainin’ to Master Donal why luncheon is late?” Farris demanded and shifted his ire towards Ka. He made note of the human man on the table, looking as irritable as Farris felt. He paid him no mind and focused instead on the giant peeling a pumpkin. And at a surprising speed, too. Farris would have been tempted to be impressed if the situation was different. Then he noted the still-uneaten pies and glowered at Ka.

“Well no wonder yer slower than the fuckin’ solstice,” Farris barked. “Ye still haven’t finished off them pies? The Dumplin’ eats faster than you. Scarf ‘em down and get to it!”

Sat down, Ka was no taller than Farris, and he felt the full heat of his angry rant. He slouched and physically shrank back from the shouts. Try as he might, he could not gather his wits against this man, especially when he was right in his face. "I'm trying, sir," Ka said. It was a moment before the words really sank in, and he understood. "O-oh," he said a bit stupidly.

"Told you," Cairo jeered. His hackles were still pricked, however, and he never took his gaze off of Farris. He stood tense, as if he thought he could do something.

Ka used this as a cue to peel his attention from the angry giant. He returned his hands to the table and took up the pie. Setting the edge of the dish against his mouth, he scooped a quarter of its contents into one cheek. He repeated this action until he looked a bit like a squirrel, then bobbed his head in thanks. "It's good!" Ka said, or at least tried to.

Farris huffed and regarded Ka with an unimpressed frown. “Good, he says. Boy, this is the king’s kitchen. Of course it’s good. We don’t serve the pig shit doled out at common taverns.”

His eyes turned to Cairo, and he noted the tensed muscles and the near battle stance the human man took. Farris matched the man’s glare. “Ye have somethin’ to say to me?”

The human stood there a moment, as if reconsidering, but did not give up his ground. He glanced at Ka, who was still choking down the other half of the first pie, and then back to the smaller giant. He at last smoothed his brow and calmed his stance exactly two notches. "No," he decided. "As long as you keep your paws off him."

Farris snorted a short humorless laugh. “So long as he does the work I’m payin’ for, I ain’t have any reason to lay a finger on him.”

Yale suppressed a look that might have made it seemed as though he would like to contradict his boss’s assertion. But with his self-preservation instinct well-honed after years of working under Farris, Yale turned his back and concentrated his frying pan.

“But I will say this,” Farris continued, the muscles in his shoulders pulling tightly. He leaned down closer to Cairo, pressing further into the human’s space and narrowing his eyes minutely. “First rule of my kitchens, little man: my word is law. So if I say ye need a smack to the head, yer gonna get a smack to the head. Don’t care whose brother ye are or ain’t.”

Ka glanced from the fuming giant to Cairo and back again, his worry mounting. He lowered his voice to a whisper. "H-he's not really going to--I mean, he won't hurt him...will he?" he said to whoever could hear.

"Oh, is that so?" Cairo jeered, "think yourself a tough boy? Well do ye?" He could feel the giant's breath on his face now, yet glared up undeterred. He glanced down to where Nenani was milling around. He did not see her rock, but was fairly certain she still had it on her.

"Y'know what I think?" Cairo said. "I think you're a soft little bastard, that's what!"

And with that, Farris spun on his heels and marched back across the yard and down into the kitchen. Yale was left a little speechless and turned to look back between Cairo and Ka and then to Nenani. She was the only one of the three to share Yale’s shock. He opened his mouth to say something, but paused when he saw Farris emerge again from the kitchen with a familiar cocotte tucked under one arm. Yale dutifully turned his back to his boss and concentrated on the frying pumpkin. He tried very hard not to snicker.

Farris did not acknowledge anyone as he calmly sat the cocotte down onto the table and pulled off the lid. Down near his feet, Nenani was looking between Farris and Yale and when the younger cook caught her eye, he winked at her. But she only looked more confused.

And then it happened.

With a swiftness and speed few people would have assumed Farris capable of, he reached out and grabbed Cairo, pinning the man’s arms to his sides, and swiftly plopping him down into the open pot. The lid was clapped on with a bang and Farris leaned his arm on top, turning to level a calm stare at Ka.

“This mouthy brother ‘a yer’s just earned himself ten minutes,” he said. He turned to Yale. “Hand me that rock there. Not the hot one. Don’t wanna cook 'im.”

Yale bent down to retrieve one of rocks that had been used to create a barrier for the fire pit, choosing the one farthest from the flames. It was barely warm. He handed it to Farris, shooting a slightly apologetic glance at Ka. Farris placed it on the lid and turned back to Ka.

“Ten minutes.”

Ka sat there for a short while, shoulders tense and eyes glued on the pot. Only after Farris backed away did he begin to relax. He seemed to find some kind of solace in Nenani's presence as well, and how comparatively calm she looked.

Still, his brother was in a pot.

Slowly, he reached across the table, his long arm easily closing the distance, and pulled it towards himself. Inside, Cairo was pounding against the side like a swarm of angry bees, to the point that even Ka did not want to open the lid. With the crock safely within his embrace, he went back to his pie. "Ka!" came a muffled voice. "Can you even hear me, you dumb oaf?"

"I can hear you," he mumbled.

"Well get me out of here! What are you waiting for, you useless giant?"

"Don't call me that," he muttered. "And Mister Farris said not to." He stole a glance at the man in question before turning to Yale--a seemingly safer option. "Does he usually do this?"

There was a part of Yale that felt very badly for Ka. For someone so tall, he very much looked like a kicked puppy. Farris eyed him for a moment, a silent command, and though he tried to keep his composure, the mask slipped and Yale snorted an undignified laugh.

“He’s been known to do it from time to time,” he chuckled. “Bit of a last resort sort ‘a thing.”

Yale wasn’t the only one to pick up on Ka’s morose expression and posture. Nenani walked over to his leg and patted it reassuringly. “Don’t worry. It’s like time out.”

Yale laughed properly. “Mostly it’s the brat in there though.”

Farris snorted.

“Nah. Had to use the bigger one. That one there wouldn’t have fit in the one I use with Jae,” he said. Seeming satisfied enough that Ka would not spring his brother from the cocotte before his time was served, Farris gestured to the rest of the pumpkins. “I expect the rest done up quick and brought down. I won’t have luncheon be late and I certainly ain’t sendin’ up sub-par pies to the top tables. I’d have Donal so far up my ass over it, I’d be able to smell his damn cologne.”

Ka seemed a bit distracted by Yale's laugh, but Farris's voice was loud enough to break the spell. "O-Oh. Yessir. We'll get it done. Not to fear." Switching his pie to the other hand, Ka reached down towards Nenani. His hand was still hesitant, but not nearly as much as when he had first tried. "Thank you, little one," he whispered, scratching her upper back with two fingers.

In the next half hour, they had all the pumpkins peeled and fried with spices mixed in. Pie crusts were brought from the ovens inside, filled with the hot mixture, then spirited away. Once Cairo was allowed free, he seemed a bit somber and even bitter. Maybe time-out did not work as well on adults. Ka tucked him into the hood of his overcoat, leaving his hands free to set to work.

When the pies were all squared away, he got back to his feet rather slowly, as if afraid he might bump his head, but there was nothing above him but grey skies. He more or less followed Yale around like an oversized duckling until he found something else to do. That "something else" happened to be helping someone hang decorations. One of the little giants was on a ladder trying to hang an autumn wreath, but the ladder was not cooperating. When Ka came up behind him to hold it steady, he met the man nearly eye-to-eye. He had not meant to scare him so badly, honest he hadn't, but he soon found himself left alone with the decorations.

"How...do I do this?" he mumbled to himself. It had been a while since he had last seen Yale, and from what he could tell, he had better things to do than babysit a tenderfoot.

"It doesn't matter," came a coarse voice behind him. Cairo was nearly asleep in his makeshift hammock. "Just hang em any old place. Your guess is as good as theirs."

"But I want to make it look nice," Ka said, unraveling a leafy garland. "They probably have a place where they normally put everything."

"Put a wreath on your head, it should fit," said the human as he picked his teeth.

"No, Cairo."

Farris emerged from the kitchens tired, but satisfied. The food had gone up on time and without issue and so he would have one more day without another one of Donal’s reprimands. Not that Farris put much weight in them. He was simply sick of hearing them.

In his hand, he carried a small but weighted purse and strode across the courtyard towards Ka. But he paused when he saw the boy hanging a garland, a task given specifically to Gjerk. He turned on his heels to holler down into the kitchens.

“Gjerk, ye twig-armed ninny!” he bellowed. “What kind of lame legged lizard are ye to be pawnin’ off yer duties, eh?”

The bushel of bright orange hair peeked warily out from the stairwell. “Nothing sir! It’s just…well, he’s so much taller and…”

“And too polite tell ye to fuck off,” he barked. “Go see Bart and tell him ye just volunteered to scrub the privies.”

The younger giant’s face fell, and he looked as though he wished to protest, but the seething glare from Farris burnt up any objections and the tenderfoot sullenly turned away.

Farris huffed and turned back to where Ka was finishing up the decorations.

“Ye did good work today, lad. Much appreciated,” he said and held out the purse. “This is fer you.”

The giant paused in his work, hurriedly hooked the garland over the corner of the roof, and pulled his arms close to his body. "I'm sorry?" He avoided the man's eyes, glancing instead to where he had seen the boy called "Yerk" disappear. His brow worried as he clenched his jaw. He felt so bad for causing the boy such trouble. "This?" he asked when the pouch was impatiently placed in his right palm. It sounded like coin. "You...want me to take this somewhere? To get more groceries or something?" He felt Cairo shifting in the hood on his back and silently hoped he would keep his mouth shut, but it was not to be.

"What is it." he demanded.

"Coin," Ka murmured.

"I wasn't asking you," he said, tugging on a lock of his brother's hair.

At the human’s tone, Farris snorted. The urge to reintroduce the human back into the cocotte was strong. However, the trade of effort and reward was too far skewed from his favor, and so he allowed it to pass without further comment, except to answer Cairo’s initial question.

“Yer pay,” he said to the human before turning his eyes upwards to Ka. “Honest pay fer an honest day’s work. And my thanks.”

He had been perhaps a little more generous than he would have been normally, but if there was one thing his mother had instilled within him more than anything, it was to make sure no one under his roof ever went hungry. Ka had done the job of two men, and clearly he had not been getting enough to eat to sustain his considerable height. For all his mass, the boy was not much more than an overgrown sapling. A decent wind could blow him over.

The boy needed more than just food for the moment. He needed the coin to get more down the road.Farris only hoped that whichever road Ka was going down, they accepted Vhasshalan minted coins.

Shaking his head, the giant opened the purse and prodded the coins. They were strange to him, and small, but he didn't need a scale to tell this was a decent amount of money. He frowned at it, confused. Was there something he'd misunderstood? "But...you fed me." He met the man's eyes and instantly wished he had not--they were the kind that could cut. He returned his gaze to the sack in his palm. "It was good food, too. You don't have to do this," he offered the sack back.

Something thumped him in the back of his neck. "Just accept it, you stupid dog," Cairo growled fiercely. "I'll not have you go hungry over your own--mrrph!" he sputtered as an enormous hand clamped over his head and chest. It only took about three seconds before he bit down on his brother's finger, which was answered with a yelp."--your own sheepishness," he finished.

Farris eyed the pouch sitting in Ka’s open palm, appearing laughably small, and growled. His favor was a hard-won thing, and perhaps he had grown a little too used to folks understanding just what it meant for him to bestow it upon them. Ka was a stranger, though, and did not have a full grasp of the minutiae of the Vhasshalan kitchens or the way in which Farris ran them. If he ever put any real meat on his bones, the lad would be a right mountain. He had an honest spirit about him but was as meek and timid as a beaten pup.

“Yer gonna stash that purse in yer damn pocket, boy,” he told the much taller giant with a forceful jab of his finger. “And yer gonna heed that one’s words. Or so help me I’ll kick yer sorry arse from here to Garrish Hills.”

Ka felt a light tap on the back of his neck "Toldja so," Cairo barked almost immediately.

"Oh..." he backed away from the upheld finger and tucked the coin purse against his body. This man came only up to his waist, and yet his strength of person made him take a step back.

Farris's words were softer this time, though. He was used to judging Cairo's levels of harshness, and somehow this tone worked at the corners of his mouth. Someone was being kind to him, he realized after a time, and it made him feel warm inside. "Thank you sir," he smiled and, without thinking, got down on his knees in the grass and wrapped his arms around the little man. "Thank you."

As Ka’s long arms encased him tightly--Gods the boy was stronger than he looked--hot indignation roiled up from Farris’s chest, and his first instinct was to fling his arms out and push him away. But as he heard Ka’s words of thanks, he paused. Begrudgingly. And then he heard a telltale sound of his cooks snickering from the doorway.

“Alright,” Farris mumbled, wiggling experimentally to prompt the other to release him. But when it was obvious that Ka had either not heard him or chose to ignore him, he pushed against the taller giant’s chest and stepped back, effectively yanking himself from Ka’s grip. “Alright I said!”

Ka backed away hurriedly, nearly falling on his haunches. The only thing that kept him from doing so was the fact that Cairo was still resting in his hood, and if he fell all the way back...

"S-sorry, sir. Thank you." Ka said as he steadied himself. The man scared him more than he'd like to admit. Yet in the back of his mind, Farris reminded him a lot of Cairo, and Cairo would not want him to be skittish of him. Ka frowned. For once in his life, he was glad his brother was no bigger than he was.

"Get up and dust your pants off," the human grumbled, pulling a ringlet of Ka's hair. "We've gotta get a move on. Come on, he's not gonna bite you." To this, the giant shook his head to free his hair but did as he was told.

Ka did his best to meet Farris's eye but could only manage such for a single second. "Thank you again, sir," he said as he backed away a few paces, then seemed to falter in place. "Wait, I almost forgot." He reached in his pocket and extracted a single coin the size of a human’s head, with a diamond hole cut in the center. "I wanted to give this to the girl, but...I forgot. It isn't worth much, but she likes collecting stones so I thought..." he shook his head and placed it in the man's hand as he had done for him. "Sorry, I've got to go, erm. Tell her goodbye for me if I don't see her on my way out...uhm thank you," he said for the fifth time, finally waving before turning heel.

"Real smooth, bud," Cairo sniped. Ka shrugged and grumbled as he made his way to the gatehouse. They were good people and, he realized, he may miss them. Maybe they would have him back someday, if he could find his way. The giant looked down to his chest-pocket and the coin purse that rested there and resolved to save at least one as a keepsake.

[beanst0ck]

Morning Coffee

a/n: im on a road trip and i crave coffee, also pls excuse the crappily edited akaashi 😔✌️

pairing: akaashi x gn! reader

wc: 1.4k

Everyday, you go to the same coffee shop. And everyday, you’re met with the same barista.

You could remember his first day on the job almost perfectly. You had been going to the same coffee shop for a couple of months now and quickly became acquainted with all the workers. Upon entering the shop you immediately spotted an unfamiliar face behind the counter.

The lighting in the room complimented his tannish skin and his dark eyes immediately caught your gaze. He seemed to stumble over his words when you were up next. You gave him your usual order and his hands seemed slightly jittery while he made your drink. The manager of the shop, Bokuto, playfully patted his back. When he handed you your drink you thanked him, taking a quick glance at his name tag.

“Good luck with the rest of your day, Akaashi.”

He was stunned for a moment, questioning how you knew his name until he remembered he was wearing a name tag. Bokuto came up and leaned on Akaashi’s shoulder, “They always order the same thing every morning, I suggest you memorize it.”

When Akaashi asked why, Bokuto shrugged. “It’ll get you on their good side.”

-

The next day, at the same time, you entered the shop. Just as Bokuto said, you ordered the same thing, then left. To where? Akaashi could only assume. You were decently dressed in casual clothes, and you seemed around the same age as him so he took a guess and thought you went straight to the college nearby after getting your daily coffee.

As Bokuto suggested, Akaashi memorized your order. It wasn’t difficult, he only messed it up twice before he got the hang of it. He was happy you weren’t mad when it happened. He apologized multiple times and even though you seemed to be in a rush, you didn’t get mad at him. You just giggled, “Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us.”

He quickly grew accustomed to your schedule. Everyday, at 7:05 am, you entered the shop and ordered the same exact drink. His coworkers noticed how he always had your coffee ready so when you entered, you could pay then leave. They found it kind of odd how he memorized your schedule so fast, but this caused a lot of teasing— especially from a certain grey and black haired manager.

“Ya know ‘kaashi, I think they like your coffee the most.” Bokuto said one day with a pout.

Akaashi looked at him confused. “Why would it matter? If they order the same thing everyday it should come out the same.”

Bokuto could only cross his arms and shake his head, “I wish it worked like that Akaashi. It doesn’t matter if it’s the same order, it depends on the person making the coffee.”

Bokuto clearly saw the look of doubt on Akaashi’s face when he said that and he was determined to prove his point. “Watch, when they come in here again ask them whose coffee is better.” Bokuto smirked.

Akaashi hesitantly agreed, just so Bokuto would drop the topic.

-

The next day came quickly and as usual, you arrived at 7:05 am for your daily dose of coffee. When he handed you your drink he decided to ask the question. “Whose coffee do you prefer, Bokuto’s or mine?”

You didn’t even have to think. The answer slipped past your lips easily, “I think yours tastes better, sorry Bokuto!”

Akaashi could feel Bokuto going into his emo mood and he knew he’d have to deal with him before more customers started piling in. Your answer confused Akaashi. “But, why?” Akaashi continued, “it’s just coffee, does it really taste different if another person makes it?”

You took a sip of your coffee and let out a content sigh, the flavor dancing happily amongst your tastebuds. “When you make my coffee, I can tell you don’t make it half-assed. You make my coffee just how I like it. In fact, it’s almost scary how perfect it is, considering you’ve only been working here for a couple of days.”

Akaashi still looked unconvinced with your answer, so you shrugged, not knowing how else to answer his question. “I mean I’m no coffee expert, so I guess you could just call it a preference?”

Akaashi then watched as you exited the shop, questioning if coffee really tasted different depending on who made it.

-

Weeks pass, and your schedule doesn’t change.

Akaashi’s coworkers haven’t stopped teasing him about it, but he’s learned how to block out their comments. Overtime feelings for you started to bubble up in his chest and he wondered how his coworkers realized this was happening before he did. But, that still doesn’t mean he would give in to the teasing. If he confirmed their thoughts, who knows what they might try.

It wasn’t until weeks later that something dawned on him-

“I don’t know their name.”

Bokuto’s laughter could be heard throughout the small shop, causing some of the customers to raise their heads in curiosity, trying to see what made the manager burst out laughing. “It’s been weeks ‘kaashi! How did you just realize?!” Bokuto clutched his stomach, almost falling over.

Meanwhile Akaashi was freaking out. How did it take him so long to realize he didn’t know your name? Is it too late to ask? Would it make things awkward? He could always ask his coworkers, but then you’d probably get freaked out on how he found out your name!

“Woa, I think this is the first time I’ve seen Akaashi stressed out about something!” Konoha gasped.

“It’s kind of scaring me, I’m not used to seeing him like this..” Yamato shivered.

Yukie had to hold back her giggle when he gave Akaashi a pat on the back, handing him a little snack, “ Heyy, no worries!~ just hand them a snack when you ask for their name and I doubt they’ll care!” This caused most of the workers to sigh.

“Not everyone is easily persuaded with food, Yukie..”

“Oh..” Yukie eyed the snack in Akaashi’s hand, “so.. you’re not gonna give that to them?..”

Akaashi handed Yukie the snack and she walked away, satisfied she got to keep her snack. “How about you just ask them for their name when they come in for coffee? I’m sure they won’t mind.” Washio tried to calm down Akaashi.

“Yea! They don’t usually get upset over little things like that!” Bokuto started pushing Akaashi towards the coffee machine, “now hurry up! They’ll be here soon!”

-

Now, this was unexpected.

It was now 7:15 am, and you still haven’t arrived for your daily coffee. This was unlike you.

He had your schedule memorized, and you were never late. His coworkers tried to reassure him, telling him that you’re only human and that things sometimes happen. Maybe you got stuck in traffic, or maybe you were just feeling a little under the weather and decided to stay home for the day.

Of course he understood that, but he couldn’t help but feel sad. This was the only way for him to communicate with you and he cherished every little interaction you two had in the morning. Looking at the drink in his hand, he suddenly came up with an idea.

“Bokuto.”

The golden eyed boy turned his head to the sound of his name being called, only to be met with a determined look on Akaashi’s face.

“Do you have a pen?”

-

You entered the coffee shop, looking like a disheveled mess. You had slept through all of your alarms, causing you to wake up late and not have anytime at all to organize yourself. Despite all that, you could not skip out on your morning coffee.

To be specific, you could not skip out on seeing a certain messy haired barista.

Akaashi’s eyes landed on you the moment you walked in and for a split second you saw his eyes widen. “Hey!” You shakily held up your hand, “sorry I’m late.”

“You don’t have to apologize.” Akaashi responded, already handing you your coffee.

You thanked him, paid, then immediately ran out the shop in hopes that you’d make it in time for your lecture. As you took a sip of your coffee you noticed a little message written on the cup.

‘I know it might seem strange telling you this, but I never got your name. I noticed you don’t stop by on Saturdays and was wondering if you’d like to grab coffee with me that day, maybe you could tell me your name then? ;)’

haikyuu mlist

uh,, anyone want a part two?

[azucanela]

Hi i really loved your first date HC❤❤👌 i dont know if your requests are open but if they are could you maybe do the same thing with baby boi kiri ??

FIRST DATE HEADCANNONS + SCENARIOS

[ft. denki kaminari, kirishima ejirou]

bakugo, todoroki, shinsou version

SUMMARY: how did they ask you out? And how’d the date go? Well... 

WORD COUNT: 2.2k

WARNINGS: kissing, pretty pg, corny pick up lines

A/N: im glad you liked it! hope you don’t mind that i added denki bc i wanted to do more than one person lol. also im sorry it took so long!!! i lacked inspiration akjsdlksjkldj

DENKI KAMINARI

SO THIS ONE

so panicked when asking you out like he almost gets bakugo in on it

kirishima suggests super manly stuff like buying you roses but he ends up writing you a little note that says “will you go out with me? check yes or yes.” he’s kinda freaking out lol

he’s genuinely worried you will say no be careful with his heart

anyways he has it passed through the classroom and is highkey worried the note will be intercepted by aizawa but its fine it fine

and then mina gets it 

in all honesty, you probably thought the note was for mina, and if it did involve getting asked out, it was definitely for her

but then mina passes the note to you with a SMIRK

looks like someone couldn’t READ THE R O O M

smh

anyways, when he turns over to face you in the middle of class, basically sweating bullets, you’re kinda like ??? bc what is this mans doing

you look at the note and realize your name is on it like OH, he probably need homework answer lol

then you open it and it says “will you go out with me? check yes or yes.” 

even though he’s a really flirty person, he likes you alot so that persona kinda fades with you since he respects you 

and it also makes him really nervous around you

you’re kinda like :o

and he’s like :,)

so then you laugh a little in your seat and he begins to panic, and then you look over to him and with a lil grin, and after class you come up to him, “how about a study date, im honestly worried about your grades.”

then you kiss him on the cheek

kaminari.exe

hes dead you killed him, nearly passes out

and thats how denki got his first study date! because his crush who liked him back thought he was dumb!

poor bb

the actual study date would probably be in a café or a library

denki probably prefers the library since it would be easier to just make out with you in the isolated and quiet space BUT

you want food so café it is ugh, you don’t know what you’re missing out on.

he gets there first, and he actually brings his textbooks and homework, he’s invested and he wants to impress you so he is going to try his hardest okay

kaminari is internally panicking when he sees you, you do a lil wave and he swears his heart explodes with uwus and WOW you look SO good, he really wants to see you in street clothes more often.

he learns more that day than during his entire time in the hero course at UA. 

naturally, since you two live in the same dorm, he walks you back to your room

and then he comes inside

and then-

anyways he really really really want to kiss you on the first date and totally will if you allow it

you make him drink respect women juice at that café and he leaves a changed man

Denki’s knee was bouncing rapidly as he sat in the café. He’d taken the time this morning to pick out an outfit, and pack his textbooks, along with pens, highlighters, anything you could imagine really. If Y/N wanted a study date, he would try his hardest to make it the best study date possible, though he wasn’t really the best at studying, she’d been right when she’d pointed out his poor grades.

But hey, those grades got him a date, so they weren’t all that bad. 

He’s beginning to regret drinking caffeine as his hand taps against the table anxiously, despite his flirtatious personality, Denki had been on few dates. And he’d been stood up before, that was never fun. Also, it was Y/N, the girl who tried to help him pass all his classes, and shared food with him, and reminded him to do his work. This was important.

He’s about to pull out his phone and text her when the bell at the door of the café rings, his head snapping upwards at the sound to see if its Y/N. Relief floods him when he realizes it is her, a nervous smile finding it’s way onto his face as he waves at her. 

Y/N’s face lights up at the sight of him, and she makes her way over to him with ease, taking a seat across from him as she places her backpack on the floor. Y/N raises a brow, “some came prepared.”

“Yeah well, I’m excited to study.” His eyes meet hers, “with you.”

A small laugh escapes her, and Y/N tilts her head at him curiously, “I’m glad you’re excited.” Her eyes fall on the empty line in the café, “you want something?” 

Denki shakes his head, “no. I’m fine.” 

Y/N hums in response, sitting up to go buy a drink. Before heading over to the cashier, she leans over to him, grinning as she speaks, “calm down, Denki. It’s just a study date.”

“A study date with you.” Comes his response, earning him a flick to the head.

He decides then that Y/N looks very pretty in street clothes, it’s something he wished he’d seen sooner. Her outfit is fairly simple, but she looked beautiful in Denki’s eyes nonetheless. His eyes were trained on hers as she paid the barista, coming back to sit while she waited for her drink. 

Y/N rests her head in her hands, “so. You ready for a crash course in calculus?”

Denki hated school, he wouldn’t deny it. But learning alongside Y/N was far more bearable, and it gave him a sense of normalcy that he craved, seeing as he was incredibly nervous. Though Denki managed to loosen up over time, and now that they were walking back to the dorms, he found himself flirting like normal, “I’m not a photographer, but I could picture you and I together.”

She’s been laughing at the corny pick up lines he’s been using the entire walk home, “really now?” Y/N asks, grinning at him as they walk along the path.

“Yeah, really!” He replies, leaning closer to her, “now. Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right?”

There’s a pause, and Denki wonders if he passed an invisible boundary as he turns to Y/N, only for her to yank him by the collar, bringing his lips to hers. Y/N’s other hand comes to his arm, and Denki is temporarily frozen, though he soon realizes he needs to reciprocate if he wants to keep kissing her.

He really wants to keep kissing her.

Bringing his hands to her waist, Denki pulls her closer, smiling when they pull away and she says, “you were wrong.”

KIRISHIMA EJIROU

THE MANLIEST MAN OF DATES

it’s literally just so much chivalry like kirishima single handedly revived it

chivalry is NOT dead, kirishima just has ALL OF IT

Anyways.

asks you out with the help of our boy baku, gets him to good a meal and puts it in some tupperware,

lol convincing bakugo was the funniest part, and he agreed only because he was like, “what you think my cooking couldn’t get you a date? just you watch!” 

genuinely sees his cooking as a means of bribery

kirishima is grateful because he cannot cook so i hope you can

buys you roses, and approaches you, obviously nervous but keeping his cool

you think he’s gonna ask out bakugo HADHJGDSJHGD

you nudge baku and he gives you a look and is all like, “what the hell, that is all clearly for you.”

y/n.exe

lol kirishima is really sheepish about it he’s all like, “so would you be interested in... i dunno maybe going to dinner or something, as a date?”

embarrased bb

you accept the roses and the food and smile at him like, “sure!”

kirishima is relieved™

your first date is probably just like to the mall, you two get food and shop its nice

tries to pay for everything but he is not todoroki

he is your sugar baby congrats

he likes to watch you shop because you get really excited over really simple things and he does too and its just really adorable

definitely wants a fashion show with you

you’ll probably be like, “i don’t wanna waste your time.”

and then you turn around and kirishima is already holding seven different outfits like, “FASHION SHOW!” because hes manly

he also thinks you look REALLY pretty in all these different outfits like wow

he also has a fashion show and he has no right looking that GOOD in these CLOTHES 

y’all probably have your first kiss here, like you’re trying on clothes and he is hyping you up and you get all soft and he gets off soft and he’s like can i kiss you? and you are like HELL YEHA

opens doors for you, pulls out your chair, gives you his jacket, the KING of being a gentleman 10/10 treats you right

would ask to kiss you and will respect whatever you say when he walks you back to the dorms too

assuming he gets a kiss he’s throwing a party lol

Kirishima smiles as he watches Y/N stare at a skirt, squinting at it as she examines it. It’s cute, she’s cute, and he was ecstatic when she’d agreed to go out with him. The date was simple, just a trip to the mall and lunch in the food court, they’d already eaten, so now Y/N was leading him around the mall as they looked at all the stores.

“Do you think this would look good on me?” She asks, bringing a skirt to her lower half to inspect the look.

He simply takes the skirt and throws it over his arm, which is already holding several other articles of clothing, not that he minds, “I think everything here is gonna look good on you.” Kirishima raises his arm up to gesture towards all the clothing he is carrying as he smiles at her. 

Y/N can’t help it when her cheeks warm and she looks away, “C’mon let’s go to the dressing rooms.” She mumbles, eyes falling on hi, “you sure you don’t want help carrying those?”

Kirishima puffs his chest out a bit at this comment, “I wouldn’t be a very manly boyfriend if I didn’t.” Came his response.

This earns him a raised brow from Y/N as she guides the two of them to the dressing rooms, “boyfriend huh?”

His cheeks flush as red as his hair, “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t-”

“I like it.” Y/N winks as she takes the clothes from his arms and heads into the dressing room, shutting the door behind her and leaving Kirishima in shock.

He had plopped down onto the bench outside the dressing room, earning sympathetic smiles from those who pass by him, though he really doesn’t mind. If he was honest, he liked this. Y/N got excited over the smallest of things and that got him pretty excited as well, her joy was contagious almost. Kirishima was shocked he’d even scored a date with Y/N in the first place, she was in the top of their class, and had a ridiculous amount of friends, and even more admirers it seemed. 

She’d been trying on clothes for quite some time now, exiting only to show him the outfits, not that responses to these outfits ever changed, since she looked beautiful every time. 

Resting his head in his hand, he hears Y/N call out, “you sure you aren’t bored yet?” She’s slipping on a different outfit, a small smirk on her face as she wonders what his reaction could be. 

“No, not at all.” Kirishima replied, shifting in his seat. 

And then Y/N came out of the dressing room, she had chosen the skirt she’d previously show him along with a low cut top that he had not seen her pick.

Oh god.

Kirishima felt his mouth go dry as it gaped open in shock, “how do I look?” Though she clearly knew what he thought, given his reaction, Kirishima couldn’t help but remind himself that it wasn’t manly to stare. 

“Pretty.” Kirishima replies, “really pretty.” He straighten in his seat, offering her a nervous smile as she watches her spin in a circle. “How is someone so beautiful, literally?

Y/N is beaming at him, a small laugh escaping her as she comes to stand in front of him and replies, “I could say the same about you.” Kirishima's face breaks out into a smile and she brings her hands to his shoulders, “thanks for taking me out Kiri.”

He tilts his head curiously at her actions, “thanks for agreeing to got out with me.”

She hums in response, hands coming to his cheeks as she stood between his legs, locking eyes with Kirishima Y/N gives him a small smile, “can I kiss you, Kiri?”

His eyes widen a fraction and he nods rapidly, “definitely.” He mumbles in reply, eyes closing as their lips met. Kirishima allowed his hands to come waist, squeezing her hips as they kissed.

Yeah, he liked this.

A/N: i have zero inspiration and i feel like kirishima is out of character i am sorry akjdhkjshdkjahs 🙃 anyways kirishima looks respectfully

TAGLISTS[lmk if you want to be added or removed via askbox or replies]

BNHA: @shawkneecaps​

[seokjinsdisciple]

Switched

jinyoung x reader

when you switch places with your twin sister to teach English in South Korea. You quickly find you’re worse at the job than you think. Luckily, kindergarten teacher Jinyoung helps you navigate the waters of teaching and help your class pass their end of the year exams. 

requested, unedited

warnings: oh boy where do i even begin, sub jinyoung, baby boy and mommy used excessively (im not sorry), overstimulation (sort of), nipple play, jinyoung is just really subby and cute ok, let me know if im missing anything bc this is a mess

word count: 3.1 k 

There was a certain way that your twin sister had about her that made it impossible to say no. She had used this against you her entire life, and it hadn’t stopped as you grew out of teenagers and became adults. In fact, her requests got more and more demanding. Which is how you found yourself on a 15-hour flight to South Korea. 

It was a simple switch really, she had gotten pregnant and wanted you to fill in for her. She had spent about half of the year teaching English to 6th graders and couldn’t leave for half of the year. You were pretty positive that she had just told you that so she wouldn’t have to pay rent on the year-long lease she had signed, but honestly, you were kinda excited. Not about the kids, you had no idea what to do with them, but more so about living in a different country kinda thing. 

The flight was long, and you spent the whole time watching movies, unable to sleep. So, admittedly you were exhausted when you stood in front of your new apartment. You made your way inside, and you had to be honest, the apartment was way nicer than your home back in the States. It was nowhere near as big, but it was filled with nicer, comfier furniture and a giant bed that you couldn’t resist. 

You awoke with a start, rubbing your eyes and groaning. You had no time to waste since your first day in the classroom was supposed to be today. You hadn’t made any plans for your students, but you didn’t have enough time to make one. Scurrying around the apartment you pulled together a business casual outfit, grabbing a piece of toast from the toaster and hurrying out of the apartment with only one shoe on. The other shoe balanced delicately in your hands with a cup of coffee, and your toast. 

By the time you made it into the school, You were more put together. You were still extremely nervous about meeting the students and you were praying that they would be nice to you. You weren’t too fond of kids, and, unlike your sister, you were terrible at interacting with them.

Your thoughts of the day were taking over, and as you desperately searched for your sister's classroom, you bumped into a broad chest. 

“Hey, you ok y/s/n?” A handsome man asked, his sweater showing off his broad shoulders. You had no idea who this guy was, but damn your sister for failing to mention that someone so handsome existed. You smiled at him, your cheeks heating up as you stared, looking for some sort of name tag. You couldn’t find one.

“I’m ok, just kinda lost for some reason,” you laughed, “My brain hasn’t started yet, I guess.”

“Ah, well maybe I can point you in the right direction?” The man said, looking at you quizzically, you were clearly failing at convincing him you were actually your sister. If he had any questions, though, he didn’t ask them. Instead leading you down a winding hallway and into a classroom. 

“Ah, it’s good to be back,” you smiled, praying that he wouldn’t be too suspicious, “Thanks for your help!”

The man just took one glance behind him, before deciding to just close the door of the classroom. 

“So you’re the twin, right?”

“Uh, I don’t know what you mean…” You tried, glancing at the desk and seeing the picture of you and your sister. She could be a real idiot sometimes. The man just raised an eyebrow at you, glancing at the picture on the desk and then back at you. 

“Listen, I know you aren’t y/s/n,” he stated, “she’s never this nice to me. Plus, what kind of teacher forgets where their classroom is?”

You let out a nervous chuckle at his accusation, it was only the first day and you had already been found out. 

“Don’t worry,” he added, “I’m not gonna tell anyone. My name’s Jinyoung. It's nice to meet you…”

“YN,” you said, taking his outstretched hand and shaking it, “I really don’t want to get my sister in trouble, so it would be really great if you kept it a secret.”

“Like I said, I am not gonna tell anyone,” he smiled, “but you are going to need to learn everyone else's names if you are going to try and pull this off.”

That was how you found yourself studying the school’s website, trying to memorize faces and names, with Jinyoung’s tips about their respective personalities. One thing you learned was that your sister wasn’t liked here, probably another reason she hadn’t wanted to tell you who she was working with. You got to talking with Jinyoung and learned that he was a kindergarten teacher. You and Jinyoung talked through your planning period, at least that’s what he called it, and when you told him you had no clue what you were doing, he suggested putting on a movie, an English movie of course. 

You stared at the list of names on your roster, Jinyoung laughing at your pathetic attempts to pronounce their names. He had to write out the pronunciation just so you could get it somewhat recognizable.  As you called the students of your class up during the first period, you had them write an English name that you could call them by. It was just easier and the kids seemed to be relieved that you weren’t going to butcher their names, although you did feel kinda bad about not calling them by their names. You explained to them that you'd be spending this semester watching and dissecting movies before putting one on. 

As time passed, this became your teaching method, watch a movie with the kids, and go over any questions about words that they had after the movie. You weren’t really sure if this was an effective way to teach English, but you didn’t have any better ideas. Jinyoung had become your only friend, as the rest of your school hated your sister, it just made sense. Especially because he knew about your little secret. It had become apparent that the two of you were attracted to each other. Both your students and he had started asking if the two of you were dating. You, of course, denied it, because he was just your friend. No matter how handsome he was. You shook thoughts of Jinyoung out of your head as you started to clean up the pizza party you had to help calm down the kids. You had never met kids who were as stressed out like these ones. Plus their exams were in a few days, and they needed a little break. 

You let out a quiet curse word as a cough rang out from behind you. 

“Any pizza left for me?” Jinyoung asked, his presence beside you sending you into the same thought process that you had been in before. You cleared your throat, reaching for a plate to hand to him. 

“The leftovers are all yours,” you smiled, chuckling at his over-exaggerated hand heart that he sent your way. 

“I was wondering if you wanted to get a drink tonight?” Jinyoung asked, a mouthful of pizza making his words hard to understand. 

“What?” You laughed, “Chew your food first you monster.”

He just laughed with you, covering his mouth as he chewed, “Sorry, I was wondering if maybe you would want to get a drink with me tonight?”

“Ms. Y/L/N, you have to go with him!” One of your students whined, apparently he had forgotten his coat for recess. Jinyoung just grinned at you, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. 

“Stay out of it,” you warned, shooing the boy back to recess. Your focused honed in, ignoring a grinning Jinyoung and busying yourself with tidying the plates and napkins. 

“You should listen to him,” Jinyoung sang, heat flaming your cheeks as you looked at him. 

“I’ll get drinks with you, but only if you SWEAR not to tell your kindergarteners, deal?”

At this, Jinyoung just chuckled, “It’s a deal, I’ll pick you up outside of your room at promptly at 4:30.”

It was your turn to laugh, the banter that the two of you often shared making a warm fuzz to fill your tummy. The fuzz that was normally only achieved through alcohol. You ignored the periods after lunch, your thoughts filling with Jinyoung. To be fair, most of the conversations your students were having were about you and Jinyoung too. The word of the date spreading quickly through the 6th grade, and you were assuming through the rest of the school. 

Your nerves didn’t pick up until your students were dismissed. Frankly, you couldn’t stand the thought of grading worksheets when you knew what was in store for you later. You needed some time to relieve some stress, and you had a feeling that Jinyoung would help provide that for you. 

Jinyoung was at the door of your classroom right when he said he would be, and his over the top bow made you chuckle as you collected your things. You weren’t sure exactly where you were going, but you knew Jinyoung would take you somewhere nice. He did. 

When you walked into the Korean Barbeque restaurant, the smell of cooking meat filled your nose, and the sound of it sizzling on the grill had your heart beating faster. You hadn’t realized how hungry you are until you sat down and heard your stomach grumble. 

“You should really take care of that,” Jinyoung laughed, lazily perusing the menu. 

“Well then, order me some food,” you smiled, taking your hair down from the bun it was in. When you look back at Jinyoung, his eyes were darker, and if you could’ve seen his crotch, you were certain there would be a noticeable bulge. 

“Excited for the food?” you asked, quirking an eyebrow at him.

“I’m thinking about dessert,” he smirked, his tongue wetting his lips. 

This flirty banter continued all throughout dinner, your arousal growing by the time the both of you had finished your 3rd soju bottle. 

Jinyoung’s cheeks were flushed red and you couldn’t help but smile at his drunken ramblings. When he paid for the dinner and stood up, he wobbled a little bit.

“Woah, there,” you laughed, watching his ears burn red as he steadied himself. 

You walked together out of the door, his balance much better than it had been when he stood up. 

“Listen, I’m not that drunk, just feeling a little fuzzy,” he said, his already red cheeks flushing even more. 

“It’s ok Jinyoung, I’m feeling fuzzy too.”

You walked in silence for a moment, but you could feel Jinyoung’s eyes burning a hole into the side of your face. When you turned to look at him, he had a goofy grin on his face, and you couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

“I like making you laugh,” he whispered, grabbing your hand and interlocking it with his own. His hands were cold, but they warmed you up from the inside out. His thumb rubbing gently over your hand as you walked. He had your heart beating out of your chest, and by the time you made it to your front door, his body was pressed flush against you. His arms wrapped around your waist, and you both waddled into your apartment, Jinyoung refusing to let you go. When his face landed in the crook of your neck, your stomach flipped. 

“Your hair smells good,” he sighed, his soft tone making you close your eyes and rest your head on his shoulder. You stood like that for a while, peaceful silence almost causing you to fall asleep. When Jinyoung started tonguing at your neck, you couldn’t help but let out a low whine. His actions sped up, and when you were desperate enough, you pulled him along behind you to your bedroom. Your lips found his, softly pressing against each other. His hands roamed your shirt, squeezing your boobs he deepened the kiss. When you pulled away, you both threw your shirts off, his hand reaching around to undo your bra. That’s when you first noticed it. 

One hand became two hands trying to remove the garment, and then with two hands came a pout. You held back a smile as you reached behind yourself and unclasped the bra in one go. His pout just deepened, and ears so red they could probably be seen from miles away. 

“Jinyoung,” you whispered, placing a chaste kiss on his lips as you pushed him gently down on the bed, “are you a virgin?”

Jinyoung’s hands found your waist, and as he pulled you onto his lap, he buried his head into your chest. You ran your fingers through his hair as he gently shook his head no. 

“I’m just inexperienced,” he whispered, his head refusing to come out from your chest. You continued to massage his head, a whine leaving his throat as you helped him relax. When he started to nuzzle into your boobs, you weren’t expecting him to lick your nipple, and then take it into his mouth to harden it. He repeated his actions on the other side, your breaths hitching every so often as he sucked and bit. When he finally looked up and met your eyes, you almost squealed at how cute he was. His nose and cheeks were flushed a deep red, and his eyes were watery.

“Oh, baby boy,” you whispered as his pout deepened a low whine leaving his lips at the nickname, “What’s wrong?”

“-m ard,” he mumbled, hiding into your chest again. You just cooed at him, running your hands through his hair again. 

“But baby, I have barely even touched you,” you said, “Do you want me to help you?”

You just tsked when Jinyoung nodded into your chest, speaking a little louder than before, “Use your words, baby boy.”

Jinyoung looked up at you, his lip trembling at your harsh tone. You caressed his cheek to soothe him, and that's when he said, “will you- will you please touch me?”

That was it, you were done for. You normally considered yourself to be a more sub leaning switch, but boy was this subby little baby making you go crazy. You pressed your lips onto him, reaching your hand down and pressing on his bulge. Jinyoung almost didn’t let go of you as you climbed off of his lap, but one glance at him had him looking down and loosening his arms from around your waist. 

When you undid the button of his pants and allowed you to pull them down his legs you praised him. His pretty cock bobbing at your words. 

“Do you like being complimented baby boy?”

Jinyoung nodded again, letting out a whimper as you slapped the inside of his thigh, “Yes, I do mommy.”

If you thought you were a goner before, you didn’t know what to think now. It was clear Jinyoung was going deeper into subspace, and holy shit you didn’t know how much you liked being called mommy. 

“You’re such a good little boy, Jinyoungie,” you smiled, pressing a kiss to the tip of his cock, “and you have such a pretty cock.”

His whines at your teasing only intensified as you complimented him, “Look how big it is, baby,” you smirked, wrapping a hand around his cock and tugging once,” but you don’t even know what to do with a cock like this, do you baby?”

“N-, no mommy,” he hiccupped as you sank your mouth all the way down his length. 

“It’s ok, love,” you smiled up at him, “Mommy will take care of you.”

His sniffles were just so cute, you couldn’t stand to tease him anymore. You slipped your skirt off, placing both of your hands on Jinyoung’s cheeks. 

“Are you sure about this?” you asked, running your thumbs gently over his cheeks as he nodded, “Words, Jinyoung.”

“Yeah, god yeah, please,” he whined, gulping as you straddled him, sinking down until you had all of his length inside of you. 

“You tell me if you wanna stop, ok baby?”

“Yes,” Jinyoung whined, letting out a broken moan as you began to ride him. His fingers gripped your hips, pretty moan after pretty moan leaving his mouth as you chased your high. You were worked up, he had worked you up. He was just so good, and once you set eyes on his cock you knew you wanted to feel him in you. Now, you could maneuver yourself so that he was hitting you in all of the right places. And your sweet little love was so so close, you could tell. His hips were almost running from you, sinking as far as he could into the bed to try to take some of the pleasure away. His moans gave him away as he clung to you. 

“Mo-mommy, need to, need to come,” he whimpered, tears pricking his eyes at your silence. You kissed his nose and picked up your pace.

“You can come, little love,” you moaned, your heat clenching around him. He muttered a string of thank-yous, as you felt his cock twitching inside of you. You just kissed him, not wanting to hear his overstimulated moans as you kept riding him. But his mouth broke away, scrunched face as he moaned. 

“M, mommy,” he whined, face still red and scrunched. You tried to calm him, slowing your hips to try to relieve some of the overstimulation, but that's when you felt it. His cock twitching in you again. You let out a groan and came with him. Your eyes rolling back into your head as you clenched around him. You relaxed around him, your hands finding his cheeks as you took a deep breath. You quickly looked up when you felt the wetness on his cheeks. 

“What’s wrong love?”

“I was bad,” he sniffed, “Youngie came without permission.”

“You weren’t bad baby,” You smiled, pressing several kisses all over his face until he laughed, “you were the best boy.”

You let him pull you down across the bed, snuggling into your side and nuzzling into your neck. You fell asleep, and so did he soon after, both of you worn out.

You and Jinyoung spent the entire weekend together, laughing, making out and growing his experience. When you arrived at school on Monday, you were glowing. Your kids begged you to tell them if you went on that date, but you refused. At least until it was time for them to start their exam. In fact, you promised to tell them what happened (minus some details of course) if, and only if, they passed their exams. 

Not a single person in your class failed.

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Home - Part 3

Waking up the next morning i headed downstairs to make breakfast for James and the girls, while they were eating i could get ready and then head home. I was surprised to see James at the stove already cooking, a hand towel over one shoulder, the girls already dressed and at the table waiting for their breakfast.

"Morning" James looked up and smiled "have a seat I'm making breakfast"

"Oh.... maybe i should just go and leave you guys to it...." 

"Dont be silly, come on have breakfast with us"

"Okay, i feel a little underdressed though" i mumbled sitting down next to Allie and looking down at my unicorn PJ's i was still wearing.

"You look fine" he chuckled as he plated up the food.

"I was gonna make you guys breakfast and then get dressed while you ate"

"Well looks like i beat you to it" he smirked placing a plate in front of me.

"So it would seem, who would have thought James Barnes could cook"

"Haha!"

Once everyone had a plate James took his seat across from me, next to Brook, Rosie was in her high chair between the two of us at the end of the table. 

"Y/N?" Allie said tapping me on the arm to get my attention.

"Yes sweetheart?"

"Can we still come to your house if daddy says its okay?"

"Of course" i nodded giving her a smile.

"What did i miss?" James asked looking around the table at each of us.

"Last night Allie asked me if i lived here with you guys, i told them no and that i live in a farm house..."

"There's animals daddy!!" Allie said loudly bouncing in her chair.

"The field at the back of my house has horses and the girls wanted to come by and see. I said they could as long as you were okay with that?"

"Yeah i dont see why not, as long as its not a problem for you?"

"No problem at all".

After breakfast i headed up and got changed and grabbed my overnight bag before heading back downstairs, I needed to get home before my new furniture was delivered.

"I can't come into the office today no!" I heard James say on the phone as he paced the living the room "Chloe i have the kids here i cant just leave them. All i asked for was one god damn weekend off with my girls....."

I walked into the living room and got his attention, he pulled the phone away from his ear and gave me his full attention.

"I can take the girls with me if you need to go in?" I offered shrugging a shoulder, its not like i had loads going on when i got home.

"Chloe hold on" James pressed a button in his phone that i assumed was hold and scratched his bearded jaw "are you sure its okay?"

"Yeah its fine"

"I shouldn't be that long a couple of hours tops.... Y/N you are literally saving my ass right now"

"I'll leave my address with you and you can just swing by for the girls when your done. I'll put a picnic together for them or something"

"Maybe i'll be back in time to join you"

"Your more than welcome James.... i'll grab the girls and head off, i need to get back for my deliveries"

"Okay, thanks again doll"

"Sure" i nodded with a smile and turned to go get the girls.

"Y/N?" He called after me making me turn to face him.

"Yeah?"

"Its Bucky"

"What?"

"My name, its Bucky. At least my friends call me Bucky" he said looking a little unsure of himself for the first time since i met him.

"Okay, Bucky" i chuckled a little as i left him to finish his phone call.

I unlocked the back door to take the girls outback to see the horses being as they hadn't shut up about them since we left their house! As soon as the door was open Brooke and Allie took off in a run as i followed carrying Rosie. There were three horses close to the wooden fencing grazing away at the grass.

"What are their names?" Allie asked and i shrugged.

"I dont know, what would you call them?"

"Errrrr i dont know...."

"Id name that one patch.... his pretty" Brooke smiled pointing to a brown and white horse.

"I like it"

"That one can be coco!" Allie pointed at a brown horse.

"Okay, thats good. And what about old whitey over here" i reached out to stroke the side of the white horses neck.

"Whitey can be his name" Brooke said leaning against the fence watching the horses with a huge smile on her face.

We were soon back inside and i was making some sandwiches for the picnic while the girls watched TV, the doorbell rang and i quickly rushed to the door knowing it would be my sofa delivery... i was so excited to get it, the one that was  already here was awful!

"Hi" i greeted the delivery driver with a smile.

"Sign here" he mumbled without even looking at me, I signed the form and he headed back down the steps towards the van, i thought maybe he was going to put the paperwork away before taking the new sofa inside, maybe he had another guy in the van to help him but no, he got back in the van and started to drive off!!

"Hey!!" I yelled rushing down the steps to try and get his attention but he was gone!

"Son of a bitch!" I muttered under my breath looking down at my new sofa, they were supposed to take the old one away and take the new one inside!! Now i had a brand new sofa stuck out the front of my house!! There was no way in hell id be able to do it on my own.

"Y/N my dad is on the phone for you" Brooke appeared holding my cell phone out to me.

"Thanks sweetheart" i smiled at her and sat down on the porch steps.

"Hi"

"Hey, just thought id check in.... the girls behaving?"

"Yeah they've been great Bucky"

"Good....i should be another hour tops"

"Okay"

"You okay?...."

"Im fine just.... it doesn't matter" i sighed shaking my head.

"Im not buying it doll, tell me whats wrong maybe i can help?"

"Its nothing really.... my new sofa was delivered but they've just left it out the front of my house! How do they expect me to carry that inside?? i paid extra for someone to take it in and take my old one....."

"They just left it outside?" He asked sounding just as pissed off as i did.

"Yep, lets hope it doesn't rain! I'll deal with it later, I'm gonna go finish preparing the picnic for the girls. We'll see you soon"

"Okay, i'll be there as soon as i can".

Me and the girls were out in the back yard sitting on a large red tartan blanket surrounded by sandwiches, snacks and juice boxes, some of their toys and stuff laying around... it was a lovely afternoon.

"Who's that man?" Allie suddenly asked pointing towards the house, i turned to see who she was pointing at and felt my stomach flip and not in a good way!

"Girls stay here, Brooke watch your sisters for me" i said getting to my feet and marching towards him.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" I asked him shaking my head.

"What do you mean what am i doing here?.... I'm here to see my wife of course" he replied smugly with a shrug of his shoulder.

Home taglist: @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @lumar014

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[punkscowardschampions]

Joe & Ronnie

Joe: Hey

Joe: my flatmate has some work I reckon your mate might be interested in

Joe: but it’ll sound a bit dodgy coming from me so you wanna pass it along?

Joe: moneys alright for no real work, depending on how you look at it

Ronnie: never done any work as a secretary myself

Ronnie: write your own fucking love notes

Joe: I see that

Joe: your accent down the 📞?

Joe: no cunt here’d understand you, never mind the demeanour

Joe: yeah, well, it’d really seem that way

Joe: but I actually need someone to take her off my hands

Ronnie: racism as foreplays playing to the wrong crowd hes more into homo bashing

Ronnie: errr dunno how you read his demeanor mckenna but he aint taken a her off anyones hands since before any of us had phones

Joe: i’ll keep that in mind

Joe: well homophobic of me to not tell him myself so he’s welcome for the freebie

Joe: not actual escorting

Joe: she does art, her life drawing class needs a model

Joe: I ain’t fucking doing that

Joe: tell me I ain’t 📖 him right on that one

Ronnie: fucks sake if youd said it was cash for cock wed be done talking already

Joe: I just did

Joe: sound, she’ll be made up, she’ll get off my case, and he’ll get £15 an hour, apparently 👌

Ronnie: sexist not to ask me

Ronnie: pass that on to your little gf

Joe: weren’t her idea to ask Charlie

Joe: you’ll have to take up that grievance with me as well

Joe: I’ll just point out it’d be even weirder if I’d have asked you

Ronnie: you wish

Ronnie: how much £ you offering me to bang you

Joe: if I did no point paying you to do it for her and her class and not me

Joe: that’s an interesting take on cucking though, loads that would go for it, I’m sure

Ronnie: ill write it down as youve made me go hunting for a pen in this shithole

Joe: cheers

Joe: take 20% commission or whatever

Joe: or take the IOU I owe him for doing this

Ronnie: you said it hed do this for fuck all ill take the lot and mary wont know it was a paid gig

Joe: if he can fend the flatmate off, undoubtedly a load of art gays he can have his pick of

Ronnie: that what youre telling yourself for why you dont want me to do it yeah

Joe: you wanna do it?

Ronnie: i want you to admit the reason you dont want me to is cause he scrubs up enough for horse girl and her course mates not to stage an intervention

Joe: not what it is so no

Joe: I know I don’t want to get my shit out in front of a load of middle class kids who know fuck all about fuck all, so I assumed as much for you

Ronnie: dont ever assume fuck all for or about me

Joe: why do you wanna do it so bad when like you said, you can pocket the cash and get him to?

Ronnie: i dont wanna fucking do it

Joe: well that’s grand ‘cos I reckon Sophie wants to see dick so

Joe: she’d be really let down

Ronnie: usually what gets you off

Ronnie: but im made up youre in love now like

Joe: please, she either don’t get it’s weird to ask me which means she’s some kind of special

Joe: or this is the start of her 50 shades fantasy and I have to be the let down to end all let downs and i’m already doing my best

Ronnie: rem is right to pay for it when she could just walk in on you taking a piss or having a shower

Joe: when you’re just a creep and not a predator 💔

Joe: not the girl my parents warned me about

Ronnie: if theyd be the type to go down the stables theyd have seen the other side of her

Joe: you’ve got your own daydreams, alright

Joe: put out the feelers, who isn’t a little gay these days, right

Ronnie: go ed and pass on ive got a bigger dick than him and she will have

Ronnie: i dont dream 💔

Joe: shame she isn’t equally inspiring for you

Joe: or anyone, really

Ronnie: cry about it with him when youre done pimping

Joe: what do you dream about then, when you’re awake

Ronnie: what you cant read me

Joe: clearly not

Joe: dashed your modelling dreams

Ronnie: blind and not able to read braille must be dead hard for you

Joe: is that sympathy?

Joe: or you offering me 🖐 to 👩🏼‍🦲 time

Ronnie: again you wish

Ronnie: 💭💉

Ronnie: cant make it any easier to understand soz

Joe: maybe I do

Joe: far as 💭s go

Ronnie: fuck maybe you do or you dont

Joe: well it ain’t why I don’t want to get my arms out for her

Joe: not tried it

Joe: but not a no

Ronnie: give a shit what you do or dont want to do for or to her

Joe: that is a no, tah

Ronnie: tell her not me baby

Joe: that’s not a big sister duty?

Joe: gutted

Ronnie: wouldnt know im the middle kid dorothy does that for us

Joe: i’ll ask him when i’m crying on him then

Joe: make a change for me

Ronnie: hot

Ronnie: rack up the ious like a fat line hes gonna be made up

Joe: oi he’s like family ain’t he

Ronnie: &

Ronnie: you wanna fuck your mam

Ronnie: not oi ing you

Joe: well you get to think about me and him, you gave me her and you, not fair

Ronnie: life aint soft lad

Ronnie: and stopping at thinking about shit is the difference between me and you

Joe: I get it, you’ve gone there

Joe: purely here for the homophobia

Ronnie: your kinks match 💘

Ronnie: purely there so the lads dont kick off before hes got his kicks

Joe: see, you’ve got it in you 💘

Joe: the sisterly thing

Joe: my hate don’t get expressed by putting me in him though so I won’t run my mouth

Ronnie: not what ive got in me but im not giving you the talk just cause your ma didnt

Joe: you want a virgin to defile reckon Soph and her mates are prime, vampira

Ronnie: set it up with her ill show if i get no better offers

Joe: lucky girl

Joe: no more nights in doing doodles of cute girls that look like you

Ronnie: we dont look alike youll have to accept theyre of you

Joe: i fit less than you, by far

Ronnie: fuck off

Joe: sorry

Joe: it’s weird, say the least

Ronnie: i fit nowhere she made sure i dont

Joe: ditto

Joe: so buzzing i can write shit songs about it though

Ronnie: no

Ronnie: weve got fuck all in common

Joe: just the same mother

Joe: who put her shitty genetics and choices on us both at different times

Ronnie: i ain’t got a mother you cant cross out the un from wanted and act like its the same word

Joe: incubator then

Joe: she was 19 and still fucked, don’t think they had a five-year plan down

Joe: worse if she did, the state of

Ronnie: she made 1 choice for me shes still controlling you

Ronnie: were not the fucking same

Joe: you reckon

Ronnie: if you wanna claim it aint her fault youre this big of a pussy try it

Joe: you don’t think it’s my fault?

Joe: woah, just say you love me

Ronnie: i dont think about you when you aint trying to compare us

Joe: hot

Joe: I’ve thought about you plenty

Joe: uni ain’t that interesting

Ronnie: you came looking for me werent the other way round

Ronnie: you ain’t interesting to me mckenna

Joe: you reckon you’re fascinating, yeah?

Joe: fair enough

Ronnie: if your flatmate knows anyone doing doc film making they can wank over me lying in the gutter when youre done

Joe: nah

Joe: you don’t want control of your narrative

Ronnie: i dont want a narrative

Joe: then i’ll be the only wanker

Ronnie: in your dreams

Joe: well you painted such a lovely visual

Ronnie: black screen would get you going can stay in your own fucked head with no interference then like

Joe: Static is my kink

Joe: you know me so well

Ronnie: your fucking kink is not shutting the hell up til i do

Joe: i’m a gentleman

Joe: and i’m taking that review

Ronnie: youll get a lengthy one from my big brother when you are

Joe: you don’t have to settle for hearing it and getting your kicks second-hand

Joe: I’ll have to be somewhere to be unavailable for this life drawing class

Joe: let’s do something

Ronnie: what you paying me to babysit

Joe: you can ask my mammy or you can see what you can get

Ronnie: if i was gonna talk to her it wouldnt be about you

Joe: thank god

Joe: so take the risk

Ronnie: of what

Ronnie: boring me is asking too much of you

Joe: that’s surely a given

Joe: risk anything but

Ronnie: if I need rescuing again ill call you thats the only given Joe: you’re worse than her

Joe: christian grey or superman, like

Joe: gonna be BFFs yous, I can tell

Ronnie: you dont like being compared to cunts youre nothing like either funny that

Joe: touche

Joe: come on, what would convince you

Ronnie: if youre gonna beg then beg and if youre gonna show me something do it

Joe: I know you’d like to hear me beg but I can’t tell what you’d wanna see

Ronnie: then the answers nothing

Joe: nah

Joe: the answers you want to wait or you wanna be disappointed

Ronnie: why the fuck would I want either of those things

Joe: that’s what I’ll give you then

Joe: the opposite of that

Ronnie: thats meant to convince me yeah

Joe: nah, I am

Ronnie: like fuck will you

Joe: see, you want to be disappointed

Ronnie: ill be disappointed want has fuck all to do with it

Joe: if you don’t come and see

Ronnie: come where

Joe: see me

Joe: i’m new in town, I don’t know where to go

Joe: fuck sightseeing

Ronnie: [somewhere she’d hang out]

Ronnie: go there

Joe: now?

Ronnie: whenever you dont know where to go

Joe: okay

Joe: and I’ll see you there when you don’t

Ronnie: when im not fucking either of our flatmates

Joe: when you’re done being disappointed

Ronnie: when you prove yourself as not

Joe: you’ll see

Joe: I can’t show you over the phone

Ronnie: you could

Ronnie: im going nowhere on a bullshit promise cause im not a meff teenager

Joe: and I ain’t young enough to think that’s a good idea either

Joe: pictures not doing no favours

Joe: if you’re there and i’m there

Ronnie: big if

Joe: I never know where to be

Ronnie: newborn i heard you

Joe: something like that

Joe: if you can’t leave soph alone I’ll do my best begging 🥺

Ronnie: she cant leave you alone id be doing you a favour

Joe: true

Joe: wouldn’t wanna be caught doing that though

Ronnie: let you do the clean up after ive killed and ate her id be caught well fast for that instead

Joe: you’d get caught for being three times your size

Joe: she’s a big girl

Joe: you should share, be sworn to secrecy

Ronnie: doing her a favour i shouldve said

Ronnie: fuck all going for her

Joe: way to get in shape

Joe: she’ll appreciate us using her blood for something artsy on the walls

Ronnie: ill ask the basic white bitch i live with to give me a clue

Joe: 🍆 will be appropriate for her

Ronnie: 🐎

Joe: they might reckon she did it with her dying breath

Joe: very artist of her, dying how she lived

Ronnie: hurry the fuck up with your confession song if you want credit

Joe: you wanna hear me confessing so bad

Joe: but I might be able to hand that in so

Joe: hold on

Ronnie: it aint me whos a choir boy

Joe: ugh, I wish

Ronnie: cant chat shit about us having the same fantasies ive been touched by a old bloke wearing a dress and i dont rate it

Ronnie: standard surrounded by homos night out

Joe: yeah, and the nuns are never the hot kind

Joe: if they didn’t self-flagellate they’d be entirely uninteresting

Ronnie: 💔

Joe: yeah, it’s tragic being this bored/boring, say it ‘fore you have to bother

Ronnie: didnt invite you to no pity party and if thats where youre trying to get me to turn up to dont bother is right

Joe: you mean you don’t wanna talk about your feelings?

Joe: like you said, like being left alone with my own fucked up ones too much to try and start a therapy session

Ronnie: what fucking feelings dead above & below the waist like

Joe: dangerously close to sharing there

Joe: you got your 💉 already then?

Ronnie: wouldnt be this chatty if i had

Ronnie: unlucky you

Joe: I’m the one that wants to see you

Joe: so I’ll cope

Ronnie: cant even spell martyrdom proper so youve fucked yourself looking for a pat on the back off me by matching the definition up

Joe: i’ll just ring mum up yeah

Ronnie: your da if not but it wont have the same satisfying end for you like

Joe: 💔

Joe: validations the last thing i need

Joe: had a whole lifetime

Ronnie: you crawling back to me with a boner for the accent your mummys losing is the last thing i need

Ronnie: get on the scouse samaritans

Joe: don’t reckon that’s a job you’ll get any time soon either

Joe: ‘less the purpose is to make sure people go through with it

Ronnie: couldve fooled me if it aint what else is talking a sad cunts ear off about their problems gonna do

Joe: attention seekers anonymous

Ronnie: no need to meet you there i earned all them badges as a kid 🧷🩸

Joe: wouldn’t be caught 💀 obvs

Joe: keeping it secret adds another level of masochism anyway

Ronnie: does it fuck

Ronnie: keeps you feeling like a smug bitch you can still pass

Ronnie: miss me with that pussy shit

Joe: nah, that’s that i’m in control shit

Joe: it’s not that

Joe: the only thing you might be smug about is how oblivious everyone chooses to be

Joe: if it weren’t also depressing as fuck

Ronnie: dont give em the choice

Joe: why?

Ronnie: why the fuck would you want to

Joe: don’t need to be my mother’s next cause celebre

Joe: she can force the therapy and concern on any of the others, I don’t wanna get better or have to fake like I’ll even try

Ronnie: then dont

Ronnie: cut off your umbilical cord and wipe up the blood trail

Ronnie: not like she tries very hard to herd back the black sheep

Joe: maybe they know and don’t give a fuck 🤞

Joe: I know I ain’t going back so whatever

Ronnie: & you reckon weve got anything in common

Joe: just 50% of our DNA

Joe: never said we were twinsies

Ronnie: if youd have said id have spat in your face 1st time we met get it collected and the tests run

Joe: I wish

Joe: has your face healed

Ronnie: wheres the fun in letting it do that

Joe: 😏

Joe: we can pretend that’s inherited if you need

Ronnie: not 5 i dont play pretend

Joe: if you keep digging, reckon the ink will be gone and it’ll be pure scar tissue

Ronnie: calm the fuck down i can hear how turned on you are about it from here

Joe: spoilsport

Joe: just thinking, scar that only vaguely looks like 🍒s might be well more rugged for my transformation from baby to independent real boy

Ronnie: laughing cos i like pain not cause youre funny

Ronnie: when you see or hear it from wherever youre lurking

Joe: you don’t leave room for me to get the wrong idea, you’re alright

Joe: all them fucked ones are mine alone and already there

Ronnie: get your girlfriend to draw you a pin up & dont tell her youve changed the lass horse head to look like your mas

Ronnie: masc for masc in your bio before you know it and 🦋 tramp stamp to follow

Joe: you know my dad already has a tattoo that looks like her, no bullshit

Joe: and another dead girl on the other arm but that’s a whole other boring story

Joe: playing dress up is off the cards too if I’m ever gonna be a big boy

Ronnie: where do you keep his severed arm when youre not using it to fist yourself and how old were you when you cut it off

Ronnie: if we re telling stories

Joe: 😂

Joe: where we keep the horse

Joe: that en-suite is massive

Ronnie: if he finds out it was a paid gig ill know where to crash

Joe: still gutted she don’t wanna see you naked

Ronnie: youre a liar if you dont wanna see her face seeing me

Joe: don’t know if anyone could be bothered to look at her when you’re about but yeah

Joe: the trauma would really fuel me and make her much more bearable to live with

Ronnie: youre welcome like

Joe: gotta stop being nice to me

Joe: you know stalkers, give ‘em an inch

Ronnie: telling me what to do is the fastest way 🖕

Ronnie: and i know you dont have an inch to give me making the best of this shitshow is what an optimist like me has gotta do

Joe: obviously you’re that type

Joe: not having it in common will have you back 👍

Joe: you’re inspiring, like

Ronnie: chop off my arms and legs and get a camera set up in the en-suite

Joe: you’d fit in my cello case then, could take you everywhere

Ronnie: course youve had a measuring tape out

Joe: hate to kill your optimism with 🍆

Joe: have a go at pushing it back in

Ronnie: how longs your tongue reckon that could kill any girls optimism

Joe: 💔 if it was only good for chatting your ear off

Ronnie: [send him a picture of your weird gross split tongue because obviously]

Joe: [how does that not make you lisp, or does it, I always think that]

Joe: that’s why you’ve not had an invite

Joe: 🚫🐍

Ronnie: gutted

Joe: you know you can show up and do whatever you wanna do whenever

Joe: I’ll take you back

Ronnie: this performance art is meant to what just scare her or teach you how to get her to back the fuck off as well as

Ronnie: im not a fucking tour guide mckenna & you can get yourself evicted without my help

Joe: you know I meant to Dublin

Joe: don’t think it’d take much to scare Sophie off, give it a month for us to both get comfortable and she’ll see what I ain’t

Ronnie: fuck you

Joe: I said if you want

Ronnie: dont need your permission to do anything i want

Joe: don’t think any of ‘em are that lax with their socials

Joe: you’d need directions

Ronnie: ive had years to find em & we dont both hang about with horse girls from kent

Joe: can’t say it’s your loss

Ronnie: shut up about it then

Joe: 🤐

Ronnie: 🖕

Joe: got a whole fist here, you can keep it

Ronnie: sizeist

Joe: told her yours is massive like you said, it’s fine

Ronnie: i said bigger than his not a horse shes in for a disappointment

Joe: gotta 🤞 she’s an optimist like you babe

Ronnie: unlike you shes gonna wait to see what i do with it before telling me to shove it

Joe: you just wanna blueball me for the pain

Joe: go on, for your lols

Ronnie: she wont want me at all unless youre gonna watch

Joe: and you need a witness so I get time too

Joe: I’ll do it, torturous as it’d be

Ronnie: the iou is gonna torture me too

Joe: if you’re lucky

Ronnie: not the dna half we share 💔

Joe: damnit

Joe: what’s good about being Scouse?

Ronnie: now the beatles are dead youve got fuck all to live for

Ronnie: noted

Joe: only the good ones

Joe: I dunno, anything good about it never happened, left when I was a kid and we still lived in a shithole with shitheads

Ronnie: get in line she left me in a shithole with shitheads 1st

Joe: where were you

Joe: wonder how close it was

Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter

Joe: it makes her more/less shitty depending

Ronnie: it aint gonna change my opinion and I dont give a shit about yours

Joe: fair enough

Ronnie: get cosy with charlie hed take you down memory lane

Joe: not before he’s got it out for the art class tah

Ronnie: you didnt say when

Joe: [probably an evening class like tomorrow or the next day, then the same time a week later]

Ronnie: too fucking late the pen is in pieces

Joe: sure it isn’t the first time you’ve left him a note in blood

Ronnie: hes only gonna cry about it & take the shine off his modelling debut

Joe: awh

Joe: message him 🧓🏼

Ronnie: fuck off calling me old

Joe: 😏

Ronnie: ill write him a note blaming what a twat you are for what hes gonna walk in on

Joe: what mess have you made

Ronnie: havent killed myself yet

Joe: and you’ve not stopped talking so no OD’ing

Joe: possibilities are endless still

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: come out

Joe: we can get new ink to dig out

Joe: whatever

Ronnie: you gonna suck his dick this time

Joe: I’ll just pay the old-fashioned way

Ronnie: flashy cunt

Joe: what being a student is all about

Ronnie: and youre too special to poison your blood how the rest of em do

Joe: I’m not opposed but I can do it alone, I don’t need to go to a sweaty student bar that plays shit songs and has a load of sad Soph clones giving it 🥺

Ronnie: you can get another tattoo without me holding your hand

Joe: I could

Ronnie: go do it 🦋 baby

Joe: have mentioned its not about the tat, yeah?

Ronnie: nah not that ive heard

Joe: come on

Joe: i want to see you, i’ve said loads

Ronnie: youve said loads of shit yeah

Joe: shit i mean

Ronnie: why

Joe: why wouldn’t I

Ronnie: thats your answer then fuck it

Joe: you don’t need to ask ‘cos you know

Ronnie: i did ask and you said why the fuck not

Ronnie: like its nothing

Ronnie: like you didnt turn up uninvited into my life not long ago

Joe: then tell me to leave

Joe: like it’s that easy

Ronnie: i didnt tell you to fucking appear

Ronnie: just cause youre a kid dont make me the dead fish you won at the fair

Joe: I never had the choice

Joe: she told me about you, talked about you all the fucking time

Joe: you’ve always been in my life

Ronnie: and youve never been in mine

Ronnie: im not gonna carve out a place for you now cos you want it

Joe: Alright

Joe: do it then

Ronnie: dont tell me what to fucking do

Joe: I’m not going unless you say it

Ronnie: no shit this is fun for you

Joe: like fuck it is

Ronnie: im the car wreck youre craning your neck to keep looking at

Ronnie: thats all the fuck this is

Joe: lie better

Ronnie: you dont care about me or what this feels like

Joe: I can’t take it back, you know now

Ronnie: you dont wanna take it back

Joe: I can’t, what’s the point pretending

Joe: I never said I was a good person

Joe: being sorry won’t change anything for you

Ronnie: its all your christmases & birthdays im west as this course youre gonna keep on spinning me out

Joe: Piss off

Ronnie: lie better cunt

Joe: So you’re allowed pity parties, yeah?

Joe: 👌

Ronnie: calling you out on your bullshit is allowed if youre crying thats your problem

Joe: if all you want from me is for me to go away, consider it done

Joe: you can’t hack it, my apologies

Ronnie: tell me why if im so fucking wrong

Joe: I like you

Joe: I want you, to get to know you

Joe: I can’t just stop it, not for myself

Joe: So make me

Ronnie: stop telling me what to fucking do

Ronnie: fucks sake

Joe: you ain’t saying anything

Joe: what do you want

Ronnie: I dont want you to like me

Ronnie: fuck is that

Joe: yeah, it’s obvious you go to great lengths to be unlikeable

Joe: not going to tell no one am I

Ronnie: so hate me soft lad

Joe: I’ll give it a go

Ronnie: ill make you

Joe: give it a go then

Ronnie: where are you then

Joe: [give a location of somewhere near your flat ‘cos don’t need to actually set you on the flatmate rn and that’s likely where you were]

Ronnie: [obviously we’re just gonna show up however long that takes us without another word like !?]

Joe: [just so much eye contact ‘cos what you gonna say what you gonna do]

Ronnie: [definitely gonna take him somewhere sketchy as hell to the level that like Charlie doesn’t know we still go there/we’d never take him ever like you wanna get to know me okay bitch buckle up]

Joe: [can’t let you hook up or shoot up yet ‘cos chronological but go along with this obvs]

Ronnie: [it would make sense if you made out/almost hooked up though because the vibe for the next convo was very much oh fuck what are you doing here we didn’t mean to run each other like this but also v flirty]

Joe: [agreed, and allowed, it’s the obvious vibe but any untold drama can happen to stop you in whatever dodgy place so makes sense]

Ronnie: [literally and just because you can’t shoot up together yet does not mean either of you have to be in any way sober so]

Joe: [hundo, we’re not saying he’s never done a drug lol, he clearly abuses his prescription as is so like, there’s plenty to be done without going there]

Ronnie: [and if we wanted to we could say that you watch her do it here and now before you do it together anyway because you’d both get a weird kick out of that]

Joe: [tea, bet you did not see this coming for your uni experience lmao]

Ronnie: [meanwhile she’s old enough to have left, do you wanna grow up babe? No? okay]

Joe: [the way you’re rolling with this, we know you’re fucked boy but pop off]

Ronnie: [I can’t overstate how much she’d be doing the absolute most to try and scare him away like I dare you to go back on what you said]

Joe: [we know you’re not gonna, soz babe, is very rude how he’s just waltzed in but truly did not say we were a good person lol]

Ronnie: [we know she’s not either and also is here for it more than she will ever express until we’re literally years into this]

Joe: [hi your mother’s daughter, but no, you actually have a reason this is messed up but we’re into it from the off and not pretending, risky af strategy boy]

Ronnie: [is there anything we wanna say happens that has lasting-ish consequences other than the make out/ almost hook up ie a tattoo or a fight with injury potential or an arrest lol]

Joe: [hmm, the possibilities, maybe a fight to show you can, could be about anything, it’s that sort of place]

Ronnie: [that is such a mood I love it and yeah could literally be you’re a new face or could be her fault because of the aforementioned doing the most]

Joe: [totally, and that’ll be an easy way to separate you and not meet until the next convo]

Ronnie: [exactly dr phil]

[fluffydragon22]

2.13 : The Sudden Shift

I woke up at 5 am the next morning. My legs were already fine but i could feel that i was sweating so much when i slept. But i couldn't remember when i fell asleep.

I got up and made a cup of hot tea. It was still early in the morning so i had plenty of time to just enjoy the view. The letter that i wrote was still there. Nothing's changed in the room, so i took a conclusion that the observer didn't appear when i was sleeping.

Hours passed, the sun started to rise, and the street started to get crowded as people began their Saturday. But there were no replies from Lily after i sent a good morning text. So i decided to go outside just to enjoy a bit of walking.

I walked towards the train station. I didn't have any destination that i had to go to. So i just tapped my card, got into the station, and waited for a commuter line to the city center. When the commuter line arrived, i quickly got in and found a seat. It was Saturday after all so there were not as many people as it was like the weekday.

After getting off the train, i got into my favourite restaurant near the station to have some breakfast. The place was a bit crowded but luckily i found a seat. I ordered a glass of milk and a fried rice. Then i started to read the novel that i brought with me, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, which was written by Haruki Murakami.

After about an hour, i put the book back in my bag and paid for my food. Then i walked towards the park. Along the way, i checked my phone and there were no messages or calls from anyone.

"Perhaps i'm invisible, perhaps i only become exist when people need me." I whispered to myself.

But it was true, at least that was how i felt it back then. Everytime my friends planned something, i would be the last to be invited. Sometimes Sarah would be the only one to invite me on the last minute. But i wasn't mad, even if i had the chance, i wouldn't get mad. There was no clear reason for me to get mad at my friends. After all, being invited was already more than enough.

I arrived at the park and sat down on the bench overlooking the small lake. The park was a bit crowded but i found a place which had the least number of people. I sat there while drinking my mineral water.

It was a beautiful day. The clouds seemed to be tired to show up. So the blue colour filled the sky. It was beautiful outside, but inside me, it wasn't so beautiful. At least that's how it was that day.

Shortly after 1 pm, i decided to go back to my place. I took the same route, took a train, and walked aimlessly around my university. The dark clouds were moving towards the west and it could be raining any moment. But i didn't care. If i go back to my place, i couldn't enjoy the rain.

As expected, the rain was pouring down around 1.35 pm. I decided to wait for the rain under a bus stop so my clothes and my bag wouldn't get soaked. There were only four people in the bus stop. They all seemed to be disappointed because of the rain.

Suddenly, my phone rang. I thought it was a phone call, turned out it was a couple of messages. Which was from Lily. I was surely a bit surprised then hurriedly opened the message.

"Hi Adrian, i'm sorry about last night, and today." She said in her first message.

"Can we have a video call tonight?" She asked in her second message.

Without wasting time, i replied her message.

"No no, don't be sorry, it's okay. Of course we can. Just let me know the time." I sent the reply.

But then, no reply came. The rain stopped about 30 minutes later and i decided to go back to my place as quickly as possible. As soon as i arrived, i changed my clothes, threw the one i just used to the basket, and made myself a cup of hot tea.

As i'm watching the rain fell down through the window. I thought about my friends. How i've been left out by them, how i've been 'thrown out' of the groups quietly and slowly. But the more i thought of it, the more i realized that i should be the one to blame for that. How i declined a few invitations from them because the schedule collided with my schedule with Lily. Nobody should be blamed except me.

"Why didn't you come to Rachel's house?" David asked me sometime when we were still in vacation period.

"Uh sorry man, i had a date as well with Lily." I answered him.

"That was the third time you didn't come because of going for a date." He said. I saw a disappointment on his face.

"Well i will come on the next time, surely." I told him awkwardly.

But as most of the things in our lives, three is the limit of the chance that will be given before the opportunity itself gone. I guess i didn't stand another chance within them.

I kept remembering it as the day turned into night. The rain was still falling down and quickly became the music of the night. Then i started to hit by headache and sneezing unstoppably.

At 9, Lily videocalled me and i answered with right away. She looked tired and i gave her a few words that i usually did to cheer her up. Long story short, it didn't work. I was terribly bad at giving some support to people. But about 20 minutes into the call, she noticed that i had a fever.

"You have fever?" She asked me.

"No i don't, it's just, you know, sneezing." I answered, but my voice was already different.

"Go take some rest, goodnight." She said and instantly turned off the call.

I just stared at the screen for a very long time after she turned the call off. Thinking why the fever had to come at this exact moment. But little did i know, the fever itself, was the beginning of my downfall in college.

Exactly three days later, the fever didn't stop. I started to get hit by another symptoms such as losing the appetite, massive weight loss, no strength even to just walking, etc. But somehow until the fourth day, i kept going into the class like nothing happened. On the afternoon during the fourth day, Sarah asked me to accompany her to the supermarket just a few blocks down the road from her place.

"Hi, i hope you're not busy this afternoon because im gonna treat you. I'll wait for you in front of the Library after 4." She said in a voice message.

After my class was over, i straight up went to the Library and waited for her. As usual, she showed up on time.

"Adrian, you look bad. You got fever or something? Have you eaten anything? Can you walk? You want me to take you to your place?" She asked so many things in one breathe, just like how she usually did whenever she got worried.

"I'm okay Sarah. I can accompany you to the supermarket, but buy me something, okay." I answered, i tried to smile but i assumed that i looked more like someone who tries to hold the pain rather than smiling.

"You look pale, you know that?! No way i would take you to the supermarket." She shouted at me. Luckily nobody was around us at that time.

"Chill sis, i walked my way from class to the library. So i can say i'm good to go. No, i don't accept any answer other than okay let's go. Got it?" I told her.

"Huh if you pass out, don't blame me, do we have a deal?" She asked me after a long thinking.

"I won't, but mom surely would ask you." I answered her question and proceeded to grab her tote bag. She carried too much stuff for somebody who wanted to go to the supermarket.

"Mom will definitely believe me more than she believes you." She said as we walked towards the station. The supermarket's shortcut was located right besides the station, so we didn't have to walk that far.

She bought many stuff that afternoon, she labeled it as monthly shopping. Shampoo, toothpaste, lots of canned food, vegetables, drinks, you name it all. Meanwhile i bought some canned food like the one she bought, a few chocolate bars, eggs, and some vegetables that i would cook that night. After that, she took me to the food court to get something to eat.

"Are you okay? Still have strength to get back to your place?" She asked me as we ate our food. I bought a plate of rice and grilled chicken, while she bought a bowl of meatballs.

"Yes, i'm totally okay. See, i told you i could make it." I said proudly.

"Journey hasn't finished yet, monsieur." She said.

"Just a short distance left so no probs, right." I asked her.

"I hope so, i do hope so." She said as she exchanged her bowl with my plate. Tradition, we called it.

"Lily knows?" She asked again.

"No, she is just, busy, i guess." I answered as i took a spoon of meatballs.

"She always busy, huh?" She asked me.

"I don't know..." I answered. I wanted to continue but i couldn't find any words.

"She always had time, back then, right? Why she suddenly gets busy? It's like she suddenly shift her focus off you, don't you think so?" She asked me again.

"I suppose. But i don't want to disturb her. I mean i text her every morning, afternoon, and night. But there are no interest from her." I told Sarah as she enjoyed every bite of the grilled chicken.

"Oh my oh my, my Adrian, don't get trapped again, please. I've known you better than any of your friends, and your girlfriend, and i will always know you better." She stopped for a while to sip her lemon tea.

"How difficult for you to get up from your lowest point, how long it takes, how hard you do it, i know it better than her. For your own good, get the things straight with her. Don't take someone who act like you're a temporary option seriously." She continued.

"But i love her." I said.

"That's a poor excuse. You do know that i love you, right? So that's why i tell you this. Because i care about you. Perhaps more than you care about yourself. More than she does. If you get hurt while you're with somebody and they don't even try to change it, why you should stay?" Sarah asked me as she looked at me deep in my eyes.

I was at lost for words. Everything she said was true. But something inside me resisted it. Suddenly what the observer told me back then coming back.

"Be careful, things started to unfold." The observer's voice echoed in my head.

"I need you to think about it, okay bro?" Lily told me as she tilted her head while looking at me. I felt safe everytime she did it, i didn't know the reason of it.

"Now let's go home. You need some rest." She stood up and took my hand.

"If Lily sees us, i guarantee you she will be mad." Sarah laughed as we were holding hands.

"If that's the case, i don't care about what she says though. We've been doing this since we were kids." I told her. Then we walked outside the supermarket heading towards our place.

We were lucky enough to find our places next to each other. So basically we see each other everyday. That night, we walked for about half hour side by side. Talking about many things, laughing at the old times. Sometimes i asked her to stop to rest for a minute. Then, we arrived at Sarah's place and i gave her the stuff that i carried.

"If anything happens tonight, call me straightaway." She said as she opened the gate.

"Copy that, mademoiselle." I told her.

"I mean it. Don't forget. I will come to check you out at 8 tomorrow. Get some rest, don't play videogames." She said.

"No worries, i will let you know. An hour of play won't be a problem though. Don't you think?" I told her with a bit of laugh.

"Gonna kill you if you do that." She told me as she showed her fist.

"Wow wow chill. I won't play tonight so don't worry. See you tomorrow." I said as we waved to each other.

After cooking some vegetables and canned food, i ate it while looking at the half moon on the sky. No messages from anyone. Only messages about assignments and so on in group chats. My parents had some stuff to take care abroad and hardly contacted me. However, 10 minutes later. My phone rang with a message showing up. It was, unexpectedly, from Lily.

"How are you doing? Are you okay??" She asked me in her message.

"Yep i'm okay. But..." I stopped typing to think about the appropriate words.

"Tell her everything you feel." A voice said. The observer has showed up.

"Not gonna happen tonight. Gotta rest so i will just skip the detail." I told him.

"Your choice. But seriously, it's better if she knows about it, right? Good for your recovery, too." The observer said.

"Let's see what will happen in the next 7 days, then i will decide." I told him. I was running out of strength to say anything.

"Yep, i'm okay, but i will see what happens tomorrow. It's not that bad but not that good either. How about you? Are you okay?" I sent her the message.

"Well well, i can't wait to see it then. Get some rest, be tough. I will comeback tomorrow after you finish your business with Sarah." The observer said as he disappeared.

"Huh, that's fast, observer." I told him before he completely disappeared.

"Let me know if anything happens. Take some rest tonight, don't play any games. Just, take as much as rest as you can, okay? I'm okay here so don't worry about me." She replied.

"Okay Lily, understood. I'm sorry i made you worry." I replied.

"No no, don't be sorry. You have to focus on getting healed, okay? Now sleep. Good night Adrian. I will sleep as well so hopefully we'll meet in our dream." She said and followed by a love emoji.

"Ummm okay Lily. Hopefully we can haha. Good night, I love you, I miss you." I sent my last messages at that night and closed the curtain, put my phone down, turned the light off, and pulled my blanket.

I fell into a dreamless sleep. I woke up every one hour with a massive headache and pain on every inch of my body. As the night grew deeper and darker, i found that it was more difficult to sleep. Fortunately, i fell asleep back just before 3 am. But in the morning, every part of my body seemed to collapse. I lost my apetite completely and it was difficult to get up, even to move my hand seemed to be impossible. The downfall was completely started to take place overnight.

[husky-twst-and-obeyme]

A Maid in service (Husky x Barbatos)

(This WAS gonna be MC x Barbatos but Im Barbatos trash atm  XD but i will make a MC x Barbatos in the near future hopefully! He needs more love uwu ) I’m putting a tab in case i make this too long XD and if you wish to image yourself as Husky that’s fine  ^^ 

Warning: some cursing , slightly suggestive 

Word Count: 2,600 words

It was an absolute disaster. The Prince, Diavolo , was giving me a tour of the castle as well as with Mammon, he was mainly there to keep an eye on me. We entered a room that mainly consisted of Vases, they were all beautiful and VERY fragile.

Then i noticed Mammon eyeing some of them “Don’t even think about it, Mammon”

“ay just relax, i ain’t gonna do anything!”

“yeah sure, you said that the last time too and ended up with “unknown jewelry” “

He scoffs as he rolled his eyes at me. I payed no mind to him but literally the second i turned away i heard something get picked up and an immediate crash....I slowly turn around and there i see Mammon with a vase in shards right in front of him.

“Mammon!”

“I didn’t mean to drop it!”

“What was that ?” Diavolo came towards us along with Barbatos 

Mammon Froze “shit!”

Then Diavolo looked at the broken vase. His face was blank but it slowly morphed into a displeased look. I mean i can’t blame him, that vase must of been worth a fortune , which is why Mammon tried to take it...UGH why couldn’t someone like Satan or Beel just came with me instead !?

“Mammon...” Diavolo’s voice was low 

“eep!” Mammon sounded like a mouse 

“could you explain what happened here? I’d love an explanation. “ 

I looked over and Mammon was basically shivering and at a lost of words, I’d be the same too since Dia shut off his friendly tone. I had to think of something quick , He was already in debt and it would be much worst if he were to try and pay of Diavolo , he might as well just give him his credit card! which would never happen but then i spoke out without hesitation or thought

“I-It was me! “

The three looked at me surprised 

Diavolo raised a brow “it was you Husky? “

Shit! I probably should of said something else...can’t turn back now..”Y-yes...I wanted to admire it but I thought i saw something on the vase,....I tried to wipe it off but i accidentally pushed it! “ God I hope that’s somewhat believable

The Prince was silent for a second and then sighed “ you humans can be so  clumsy some times” Good, he bought it but i knew i was still gonna be punished ..

“Even if it was by accident, I still can’t let go you lightly , Husky. You need to be punished “

I gulped 

“I was thinking of making you pay for it yourself but...maybe you can work for it “

“huh?? work for it? “ 

“yes, you can work as a maid here in the castle until you’ve paid off the debt for the vase “

I froze in shock , a-a maid!? hell no! I’ll never hear the end of it from the brothers! God, this sucks so much! but ..it’s slightly better then using my own money i guess..?

“Y-yes sir..” I regrettably said 

“Perfect! You’ll work everyday after school until 9 PM , If there are days you wish off, i will allow it but each day off is a day lost. So choose wisely. Barbatos will also be able to help you if you have any troubles, so don’t be afraid to ask! “

Barbatos has been silent and has a somewhat concerned expression , probably pitying me

I agreed to the terms. After the Tour was over , Barbatos handed me my maid uniform , which luckily was a traditional maid outfit with a long skirt. On our way home, i made sure to give Mammon an earful , i was probably worst then Lucifer at this time. He kept apologizing and said i’d probably look great in the outfit. The second he said that I knocked him on his ass. Now I just have to mentally prepare myself for my first day as a maid tomorrow 

I was so anxious when i got home , i got myself dressed and before i left , I was stopped by Lucifer. He already gave me a lecture for breaking something in the castle , what’s it gonna be now..?

“If you need help with your studies, please talk to me. You’ll be busy as a maid and it might not give you enough study time.”

“oh..sure, thanks “

He nods “ Barbatos should be on his way to get you soon “ 

“? he’s picking me up? I thought i had to walk there” 

“just be grateful that Diavolo is making you walk to the castle from here..” 

He had a point.. the Castle wasn’t too far but it was far enough for a long walk. I waited outside and soon a carriage came by. The door opened and Barbatos came out 

“Good Evening Miss Husky.” He held the door open for me

“Good Evening..” I walked inside and he close the door after he entered and then we were on our way to the castle.

 It was Quiet for the majority of the ride.It somewhat made me uncomfortable especially since it was Barbatos. Not that he’s bad, I’m just not familiar with him is all. I guess i will be soon since I’ll be basically helping him with chores and such.

“How are you this evening?” He asked suddenly

I got a little shook but i quickly responded “I’m f-fine! Just  a little nervous “

“I assume you’ve never done anything like this before? “ he gave a light smile 

“no ..not really, I mean the closest thing to this is cleaning for my Grandma but it was mainly to help her since she didn’t have enough energy..”

“just like how Mammon broke the Vase and you took the blame? “

!! What?..how did he...how does he know that? I kinda panicked for a second but started questioning it. If he knew, why didn’t he say anything before? Why did he let this happen? 

“..If you knew..why didn’t you say anything? “

“well My lord would of gravely punished Mammon ..not just paying him back. He would of given him something then death since he’s attempted to steal so many times...but if you took the blame, he would be fine and you’d basically get  a slap on the head “

huh..so in other words, he wished not see Mammon punished because of his stupidity. I dunno how it works for punishing them but he gave me chills when he mentioned worst then death, i can’t even image that..We finally arrive at the castle 

“so..does Diavolo know? “

“no. If i were , you’d both be punished , you wouldn’t like that know would you? “

I only did this ti protect Mammon, so i guess i do..All I do is nod and head our way in. My first day wasn’t so bad expect with some of the staff trying to get under my skin..They were rude and some of them shamed me for being a human and being totally reckless. It really brought my mood down. It was recovered when  i was in the kitchen. Barbatos was already there making desserts. I Heard from Beel that he makes the best food in all three realms, As much as I was curious, i had to get back to work but He stopped me 

“Hello Husky” 

“oh!..Hey Barbatos”

“Would you mind helping me with the batter? I need to get these ready soon and extra hands would be nice “

“oh, of course” I set my cleaning stuff down and helped

I have baking experience before, I lived with my grandma for a while and i would always bake sweets with her , so this wasn’t really foreign to me Besides some the ingredients. Barbatos took notice how i didn’t struggle 

“you have a thing for baking as well? “

“not really. Im just used to it from when i lived with my Grandma. We mainly made Cookies and brownies” 

“interesting. maybe you could show me some recipes from the human world , I’d love to try some recipes with you” He looked cheerful and smiled 

He ..actually looked really cute when he smiled, the more i see it , i blushed slightly 

After making some of the batter and letting them bake, I noticed that took up some time 

“oh no! I better-” but then my arm was grabbed 

“My lord doesn’t mind you being here as long as you’re at least working” he reassured me , he could see i was stressed 

“oh ..well...I can stay as long as needed. “ i said firmly 

“good, i actually wanted you as a taste tester as well.”

“huh? but how would i know if it’s good or not? “ I said that since the ingredients in Devildoom are so unique and who knows what devil’s taste are like to what’s good or not.

“oh , don’t worry, i actually have a bit of human ingredients here, i was hoping to make some cakes , maybe some brownies as well, perhaps? “ 

Just the sound of hearing human world cake or brownies sounded good and if his skills are as good as people say they are, i can’t wait! 

“Sure, maybe we can make a 2 layer cake? “ 

He agreed and soon we started making a cherry maraschino cake , he didn’t struggle much , it was only the ingredients that he wasn’t used to. It was so funny to see him try a maraschino cherry, his face made many different reactions since it was a flavor that blasted when it touched your tongue. I explained that these were mainly used in alcoholic drinks or be turned into candy. He was quite interested and curious to learn more about certain ingredients as well 

“Hey, shouldn’t these other desserts -”

“oh the second we finished, they were headed to the dining hall. I don’t need to deliver them myself , all we had to do is get them done” 

“oh good, I was scared of taking up too much of your time..” 

he smiled “don’t worry about that, I rather enjoy your company “ that really made me blush. It felt nice to be wanted especially since i came here, I’ve been treated like a burden, intentional or not, it was nice that that one person outside of the brothers likes me.

We continued to bake , after the cake was done, it tasted so magical! The sweetness of the cherries and how soft the cake felt! No wonder he was the best, i should save a piece for beel since he liked human world food too! Then i noticed that Barbatos stared at me

“hm..? is something wrong ?” he made me a little worried 

Then, he got close to my face. Oh my god- what is he doing then..he kissed my cheek 

*Husky.exe has stopped working* 

Did..did he really just..KISS MY CHEEK- WHAT- WHY-

I was so flustered and blushed i couldn’t even speak and he just chuckled , thank you so much for laughing at my tomato looking self.  

“My apologies, you had cake on your face “

YOU COULD OF JUST TOLD ME “No no it’s fine!” 

“I couldn’t help myself..I was curious what you’d taste like..~ “ 

All i did was stood there, mentally freaking out , how do i respond to that!? more important why do i like it!? quick say something!

“w-why you know that if you actually kissed me..?”

His eye widened in surprise but then He smirked “oh?~”

why.did.i. just. say. THAT- what was i thinking?! I quickly looked around for an excuse to leave and i noticed the time, it was closing to 9. Thank god! 

“oh would you look at the time! I have to get ready to go ! “ Then i quickly left before he could get a word in. 

I finished up anything that i could do quickly and headed to the entrance but was stopped by Diavolo

“Husky!”

“! H-hello your highness” 

“ I heard you helped Barbatos with the sweets today ! You made the sweet hell chocolate cake right? “

I nod and he lightens up “It was amazing! I had no idea you were so skilled in baking! you must bake some more when you can! “

“Im glad you ! It kinda makes me happy to bake..it kinda reminds me of home.”

“well you have permission to help Barbatos again if he asks, you two can discuss it on the carriage”

“huh what do you-” then i stopped. FUCK- i forgot he’s the one who brought me here, so of course he’d be the one to take me home. Diavolo looks at me confused and i reassure him that i was fine, he waved me me off and I saw Barbatos near the carriage . I felt nervous about this time , would it be silent like before ..I’m not sure what will happen. I enter and he soon joins me but,,he sits next to me this time. The first time he sat across, i guess he’s more comfortable with me but that doesn’t change what happened between us. 

“How was your first day?” he asked, not looking at me 

“It was fine. for the most part “ 

“oh? why most? “

“...it’s not too much, just some of the staff gave me a little bit of a hard time.”

“...” 

His silence is kinda giving me chills with his face looking a little pissed 

“L-like i said it was fine mostly! It was better with you! “ I halted at that sentence , shit! that was suppose to be internal- 

His face soften after hearing that and he looked directly at me “That’s nice...you made my day as well.” 

My heart skipped a beat, my face really blushed , it was too noticeable, Barbatos took note of that , he seemed to be closer now. 

“you know..I could bake with you everyday if you want..~ Diavolo wouldn’t mind..~” 

The Idea was innocent but his tone wasn’t , Im sure he’d really want to bake with me but Im sure he has other intentions now after that kiss. Did he feel like this before that..? It’ been 3 months since I've been here. Then I noticed how we’re basically close to being face to face , he had his finger and thumb under my chin 

“h-huh-” then he lightly kissed me “ hm!”As much as it was too much..i didn’t want him to stop either.

He stops “ I hope we’ll have more interesting days like this in the future~ “

Before i could say anything else, the carriage stops. We’re back at the House of Lamentation, Barbatos gets up and opens the door for me “you should get going “ he smiled 

I was still for a moment but then  i got up and left the carriage , before i went inside , he grabbed my hand and gentle kissed the top of it. I was even redder then  i was. 

“Have a good day, My Lady~” he closed the carriage when he entered back 

My heart was beating so hard the rest of the night and i couldn’t stop thinking about what happen...did i really like Barbatos..? It was so hard to deny it  and just thinking about him made me blush. I got into my room and got changed into comfy causal cloths and laid flat on my bed , and hoped to relax. Now I’m excited to see him again...

(I hope you guys enjoy this! I had fun doing it! Suggest som stuff if you want something like this in the future!)

[tslasvegas]

Episode 4: “I'm sorry Daddy, I've been very naughty.” - Keegan

Dan and JAKE! A WORD IN MY OFFICE PLEASE! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.

Wow! Today was A Day to say the least. I feel like boo boo the fool with how things went down today, but hopefully, I can recover from that now that there’s a new tribe. I’m excited to get to know new people, but sad to see my old alliances have to come to an end. I guess we’ll see what happens

Finally a swap and golly 5 OG Palazzo! I really hope this works in our favor. Kinda nervous for Joey and Stephanie tho because now they are in the minority of their tribe. I do hope they’ll find a way to survive till merge

LMFAO IM... watching the tribal council for the other tribe and I'm SORRY??? Who the fuck is Jake S he is the most condescending man I've ever seen in my entire life YIKES. Anyways this swap is nice.. I think I've got a good group, I really hope we win the next few immunities because I 1) really dont want to see Rachael on this tribe and 2) i want to try and rebuild my um. tattered relationships. I did the best I could in the challenge for tonight, I'll try to come back tomorrow a little more renewed cus I'm kinda wiped out from today's events. Now that my tribal council cherry has been popped for this Org its time to go crazy woop

So good not to check Luxor anymore! 

Well last tribal went fine, I got to see what was in the Prize Vault which is awesome; now I have a better idea of the twist. Big problem though- Our swap put me in the minority. I was running Luxor and had a core 4, now they have 5 OG Pink so they can pluck us off, one at a time. I went from drivers seat to getting driven over. We need to win the challenge, so I'm gonna go ham in winterbells and hope to pull it out.

We swapped! I think I made a confessional already, but honestly I don't remember. I gave Livingston some of my chips so he can go visit the vault after the immunity challenge. We'll see what is in there and for how much, and maybe snatch up some real nice items to help us out. I've also got Andrew on my side, which is great and he's apparently quite tight with Pat, which is fantastic. Mo is a pretty decent dude and I've been talking with Jake a lot today. Things are going alright. I just hope we can win this challenge. 

Phew, while the swap was not ideal. I was really liking my tribe, we were kind of quiet but individually everyone was great and we also kicked butt at challenges! Anyway, the swap with numbers wise not great, but I know Xavi from a previous game and we have a solid relationship, I hope he and John and Joey and myself can build a solid squad to make it to the merge. The challenge was rough tbh, I am not great at video games, but I think I did ok... Jaiden got like 20 trillion points on a game so really I have no idea how I did. Hoping for the best!

I am losing my mind in my personal life so I am sorry that I have been mia. I appreciate the patience from the hosts and my tribe. It makes me still want to play even though I've been kinda invisible. I'm aware of that. I'll fix it. I promise. Otherwise, its been pretty good as a tribe so far. Andrew, Pat, and NIk and i are all really close from other games, so we're good and Andrew and Pat and I are together, which is just really unfair if you ask me. I can't wait to start scheming!

Uhhhhhh.................................... anyways........ yall hear somethin? Oh I hear something. It's the sound of Joey literally blowing himself up to me hardcore!!!! The narcissism and arrogance really jumped out on this one. So Joey had the idea of calling tonight to go over some stuff and honestly out of the 2 hours we spent, I think about 45-60 mins of it was rather nice and I do feel that I enjoy his presence, but omg... his desire for control is so noticeable and its kinda gross. Joey and I debriefed on what went down on Bellagio and I totally understand why there was the difference in us discussing tribe dynamics - I had to give up all my info while he kinda kept things more reserved. I want to assume this is because of the fact that I went to tribal and he hasn't until now. I won't judge him for that. However, after this he's kinda like dictating the fact that an OG Bellagio needs to go home. Ben is the easier person to throw under the bus since he didn't even bother to do the challenge/let us know what's up. Not a big fan of that, but aight. Then Joey starts suggesting we vote out Kailyn...?? Uh... not on my watch. I have to make it up to Kailyn at least a little bit so even though she's probably got a loaded gun pointed at my head rn, I want to defuse the situation rather than start throwing her out there as a potential target. Even if it isn't coming from me, I'm not here for that. The information that Joey did give up to me relates to the chips in the game. I've never paid much attention to the chips, but I guess it takes 10 to get into the vault and Joey's got between 11 and 15 (he changed his answer on the subject SEVERAL times). He says there are three idols worth 40 chips each, then a super idol worth I think 50 or 60 (can't remember). On top of that, there are nullifiers, vote advantages, and a legacy advantage, too. He seems fixated on the legacy advantage and really wants the chips to get it. Like.. ok do you but we NEED the super idol?? Does he not realize that thing has more power than anything else in the vault combined..? ANYWAYS. What really started to turn me off about Joey is that there was this sudden expectation that I'd be giving him all of my chips thus far. I don't care about them to begin with but knowing what I know now, it doesn't make sense for me to give him my stash just to fuel his hunt for... a measly legacy advantage... I put myself in a compromising position. I told him that once a host gets back to me on my exact total, I'd be willing to trade him my chips for I guess an allyship going forward. I mean that. I want to work with Joey at least through this vote, but I can't guarantee that it'll go much further than that. He is a very risky person for my game right now because if he's coming off this strong to everybody, it's only going to hurt me by association to stick with him longer than a vote or two. However, I'm going to try and divert the attention and just be like, maybe we need to use my five as a bartering piece for new allies at this point. I want to try and build meaningful partnerships right now, especially since that was the only reason I wanted to make it to the merge.. Rebuilding is crucial as well. Kailyn and possibly Nik/Rachael are not going to be fond of me once we all have "the talk" about last tribal. I put myself in an even more compromising position with them, but I'll find my way out of that mess. I think........ As far as this tribe goes, I think between Joey's WILD imagination/constant over-analyzing and the lack of direction this tribe has taken so far.. I'm doing okay. Nobody is really standing out besides Joey and I guess myself in a way, so if I keep him around it MIGHT even shrink my own target little by little - unless people find out we're together then FUK. 

......five seconds later

In terms of my other relationships right now, I love John Coffey but this is old news, I've been in love with this man since like 2016 and it's fine - totally fine - just fangirling a bit rn since I get to spend more time with him!! woohoo. Xavier and Stephanie are straight up non-entities which makes me SO scared of them especially since Stephanie's won an ORG before... how can someone be so irrelevant yet still win something? Hmm... Makes me think that she's secretly a ninja, you never even see her around. Nik has grown more and more quiet as the days go along and I wonder what's goin' on with that. Maybe they've decided since Biden won the election that moving to New Zealand is a bad idea? Lmfao. I dunno. Nik stresses me the hell out because I have no idea what they're thinking at any point in time even in the off-chance that we are talking. I think I might just have a personality they don't mesh with because I noticed on call forever ago that none of my jokes were particularly landing but Nik had a lot to say and a LOT to joke about there... rip. If it's a personality conflict - go off, I guess. I'll try on a couple different hats w this person to try and see if I can get things to go better than they have been. Kailyn.. like I said before, pretty sure she's after me but I am really trying to sell it to her that I like her a lot, because I do. I literally compare her to my best friend irl because they have very similar attributes and I consider Kailyn kinda messy but fun and quirky like my BFF so I hope that Kailyn did truly appreciate me making that comparison. Ben's inability to do this challenge is going to be his undoing. I think the only acceptable move is to vote him off this time because I HAVE to prove to Kailyn that I can stay the course, and I also need to whittle down Bellagio numbers to prevent people from targeting us and having everything go to shit that way. Let Joey control this, please dear god. Don't let me get blood on my hands. Let Rachael integrate herself well on this tribe. Let someone else blow themselves up in the process. Just not me plz and thanks. There is no fear in my soul tonight. Joey might be a fucking crackhead but so am I. I'm breaking down walls that I didn't think existed but Joey basically told me tonight that he thought I was confrontational, rude, chaotic, and all these other things but was impressed at how calm, optimistic, and outgoing I was. Love to hear it. He might think he overestimated me but he was right about the initial impressions... too bad he won't be around long enough to see that side of me :~) 

FIRSTLY, DeNara was robbed. Okay so I already wrote this a while ago in my host chat about how the fact jake and dan are praying for my downfall because after the swap i am the only og bellagio on a tribe with 5 palazzo and 2 luxor. so after I slowly blinked at my screen for a bit I was like okay how do we survive this if I go to tribal. Because I’m under the impression tribes are gonna stick together especially going into merge but since Luxor is already down so many members it’s kinda Bellagio Vs. Palazzo. but then I was like okay wait I’m the only member of bellagio on this tribe after coming from a tribal so I’m the only one who can say what happened and I can create what narrative I want to help me get through the next couple rounds. Because if I was like oh blah blah I was in majority im so fucked then of course they’re gonna target me to get me out. But if I play the victim card and milk the fact that I voted in the minority acting like I hate my og tribe maybe they’ll think to use me as a pawn. To take down others moving forward. Listen if I have to be labeled a goat to move forward then BAA bitch.

.....five seconds later

Things are going good, because not only am no longer in danger this round but that means Rachael is going to the enemy tribe which if she came to our tribe that might’ve disrupted the narrative I had going of me being against og bellagio. Also DeNara should still be here, don’t think I didn’t clock the fact that Ben scored a 0. I also found out from Andrew that Rachael and Ben are apart of the same Tengaged group which explains why Rachael was so set on Ben staying but like, listen, if I end up in a game with someone I’m friends with, and they’re not active and helping the tribe. Good riddance.

What the. We lost yet again. I have lost everything since the start of the game. It's crazy. There are 4 from Bellagio, 2 Palazzo and 2 Luxor. 2+2 seems like an obvious plan, but it looks like it is falling apart already (read: Joey). Sucks to be across the world, so instead of scheming, I'll be sleeping.

Forgive me father, for I have sinned. is the same as I'm sorry Daddy, I've been very naughty. 

The swap did happen. Expected it. Glad we won this first challenge in this new tribe tho in worried for Stephanie and Joey

Vault Shenanigans - Holy shit I did not expect this to be as powerful as it is. I was preparing myself for some sort of payment based search system, but being able to straight up buy the items I want, but its also the same for other people. I had a misconception at how generous the wheel was so I'm probably behind some people with the amount of chips, but I could very well start scooping up some of the steal votes and just say "see ya" to the idols, although getting a super idol would be very wild, it still seems risky to hold out that long to get it, even though there's a great amount of power associated with it. The other issue with a super idol is that I think that its very likely that if I get into a position where I need to use it, that I lose a lot of respect with the jury if it does happen. The only benefit from actually having it would be that I no longer have to worry about someone else whipping it out, so it'd be less for me wanting it, but more for others not having it. As of now, I think my optimal play is to hold on to my chips until around ~40, and then buy both vote steals at once, OR go all out for the super if someone has already bought an idol by that point, because I would be operating under the assumption that the frontrunner is already out of the running. Tribe Swap Shenanigans - This is a hell of a tribe swap. 5-2-1 is always a great spot to be in, I am already good within the 5 that I have so I don't have to worry about anything there, it should be relatively smooth sailing as far as getting to the merge. Mo/Jake are alright so far, neither particularly speak too much. Kevin has not reached out at all, probably will try to talk to him tonight for general purposes, even if he seems like he'd be an easy one to get out first should we go to tribal the next time. But generally I really don't plan on losing so it's kind of a wash. I'll take the smooth sailing, easy path to merge. Premerge is never as relevant as merge is when it comes to FTC as long as you have something to show for yourself at the merge. I've got all game to make my presence known, and I plan on using the entirety of the game to do so.

I feel super anxious today because even though I had a great conversation and built a good connection to Joey, there hasn't been any talk about the vote quite yet. I mean obviously names have rolled out but nothing solid is out there still, I think I just need to let go of the urgency for a name to start being spread early on and just let things be. Stephanie and I have been chatting a bit here and there today so I feel more comfortable with her and hopefully she sees things from a similar perspective as everyone else - the Bellagio foursome needs to get broken up right now. As long as it's not my name of course!!!!! Plz vote Ben @everyone. Or Kailyn tbh save me a little bit of trouble now. Talking to Xavier is SO HARD LMAO. He doesn't immediately contribute information into a conversation and as bad as I wanna get rid of Ben, I almost..almost think going for Xavier is the smarter move, since Xavier doesn't seem too motivated to actually get to know ME and work with me. I'm selfish that way. Kailyn doesn't seem like she wants to do Ben which is a little frustrating but I totally get it, if Ben stays he's going to go after her hardcore but like she needs to actually pitch me an alternative lmfao. I don't wanna go bending over backwards just to appease her right now so if she doesn't gimme a name.. sorry sis but then I think it's gonna be Joey's call on this one :/

I am being very cautious now. The 4 of us (me, John, Joey and Steph) are going to vote together. Now Jaiden wants to vote Nik. And Kailyn wants to vote Ben. Why can't we just agree on one?! And it always has to go down to the wire. Stick together, people!

I think I am possibly leading the charge against Nik rn?? Joey told me he wanted Ben and then I told him I wanted Nik and now he wants Nik LOL take that Stephen 

Okay well I have no idea what's going to happen tonight, but I'm going into tribal not afraid of the vote I am probably going to have to make ... I think the best move is to just vote for Nik and be done with it, but it's going to cause a serious rift in a lot of my relationships if I do so. I've been super wishy-washy to a lot of people I think and right now it doesn't make sense to continuously do one thing when I mean another.. especially since there seems to be zero ground to move upon when it comes to getting the vote to turn from Nik to Ben. Nik doesn't even SEEM ACTIVE?? Why are we making this a bigger deal than it needs to be. Ben can't just walk around deciding what's going on and I think Kailyn would prefer to keep Nik around rather than Ben but it's like... so push for Ben to be the target hun! She's feeding into someone else's move no matter what she does, it's either Ben's agenda or John's agenda. Pick a side, but pick the side I'm on, too. Why don't we just vote for Kailyn tbh. lmao

[comicsnas]

showtime

WARNING: eye gore!!, violence Disclaimer: this is..... an au where guy fieri isnt a cool and chill dude that just likes food. i am very sorry for what i do to him in this. i dont mean it and if the cops knock at my door i will blame it on hussie word count: about 3.7k. i am so sorry

context john gets kidnapped by his mom dave doesnt panic

Los Angeles, CA, Wednesday

“No matter what happens, nobody cancels the premiere,” you say. “Okay? No matter what’s in the news. No matter how bad it gets. The movie drops on Thursday, and people are gonna watch it. Got it? This is a scare tactic and we’re not falling for it. Even if the world is ending, we are premiering this movie and going through with the promo. With or without me.”

Catalena, your manager, has been with you for too long to think that you’re joking. She was who flew you in from Houston to LA back when you were twenty, who let you sleep on your couch until you made enough money to get an apartment, who thought that the message you had for the world was one worthy of her help. She knows that all of this is real, and that she can’t stop you.

Her face says, Dave, you’re scaring me. Her mouth says, “You got it. Could you at least tell me… what you think is going to be in the news that would make us not premiere it?”

“Something bad,” you say. “Hopefully, anyway.”

She tilts her head. “Are you faking your death?”

“Lalonde and I are gonna disappear for a sec,” you say. “How people interpret that is gonna be up to them.”

“Not like you to leave things up to chance,” Catalena says. “Some will think it’s elaborate PR.”

“That’s why I’m only telling you. Lalonde and I are gonna frame this to look serious, and no one else is gonna know what’s going on. You keep your cool, but don’t let anyone know that you’re in on it.”

“I mean, I barely am.” She gives you a Look, a capital L Look, then sighs and nods. “Fine. So if I hear about your presumed death tomorrow, I won’t freak out. At what point am I allowed to assume you are actually dead, and freak out a little bit?”

“If you don’t hear from me in a week,” you say, “then Lalonde and I have been killed by Betty Crocker.”

Houston, TX, twelve years ago

You’re blind.

That’s not true. You’re not blind. You don’t think you are going to be blind. There is no way that you’re fully blind, because the assassin only got your right eye, so it doesn’t make sense for you to be blind, but you’re blind.

The pain might originate from your right eye, but it’s engulfing your entire head by now, and there is something sticky in your left eye and you can’t open it anymore and it burns, and you’re going to go blind, and then you’re going to die in a ditch, in a pool of your own blood, and this is it. It’s over. You and your half sister fucked around on the internet a bunch, got really deep into some conspiracy theories, and barely two weeks after you made the discovery that Betty Crocker definitely, undoubtedly, literally is an actual alien, someone was sent to kill you.

They didn’t manage, so far. They got your eye, and they broke your glasses, leaving a cut on your nose, and a bunch of cuts everywhere else, and you think you cracked your head open when you fell. But you cut their knife hand off, good and clean off, watched it fall to the ground right in front of you. By the time it hit the pavement, the assassin had already turned around and ran away, leaving you to crumple and suffer here by yourself.

This is it.

“Strider?” Rose says. Before the blood trickling into your good eye ruined your vision, you managed to dial her number and call her up, and now you’re lying on your side with your phone pressed to your ear, imagining her in her college dorm room in New York. You were going to visit her there, years ago, after you ran away from your parents. It never worked out. Neither of you has the money. You really wish you could have seen her at least once.

“Yeah,” you croak. “You at home?”

“At the dorm, yes. What’s going on?”

“You gotta go. She sent someone after me, she’s gonna come for you too. If she knows that I know, she’ll know that you know.”

One of the most comfortable parts of friendship with Rose, you’ve found, is that she never asks you to clarify what the fuck you’re talking about. Either she just lets you ramble, or she knows exactly what you mean. “Shit,” she hisses, and you can hear rustling on her side of the line, hopefully from her getting ready. She probably has a getaway bag somewhere, you think. You have one, but not on you right now. It’s too late for that.

“They’ve already hit me, so whoever she sent to you can’t be far,” you say. You try to blink your eye open, but then it hurts the other more, and it burns. You can’t even tell where exactly. It just burns. “Hurry up, Lalonde.”

“They’ve hit you?” she echoes, still rustling, breathing into the phone. On the move. Good. “Are you okay?”

“No,” you say. “Gonna call an ambulance after this. Just get the fuck out and text me later, yeah?”

Rose pauses. You can hear her pause, you can hear everything go very silent for a second. She says, “You called me before you called for help?”

“Yeah,” you say. She told you, once, that there is a quick and easy way out the window of her second-storey dorm room, that lets her balance over to her girlfriend’s room only a few windows ahead. She can’t hide there, it’s too close, but it’s a start. She’ll figure it out, she always will. She was the first person to ever have your back. “Of course I did.”

On a plane, Thursday morning

“What’s on your mind?” Rose asks.

You’re leaned back, staring out the window, listening to the clicking of her knitting needles next to you. The pilot here doesn’t know who he’s dealing with, just that he is flying two rich people and their car to Washington, DC. Your Mustang is in the cargo part of the plane, a vital part of the plan. You’ll torch it later. It was the first car you bought with your own money, after SBaHJ had become big and you had finally paid off your hospital debt.

Rose’s apartment isn’t that old, she got it after Roxy was born and she decided to move to Los Angeles, so you could help each other babysit. Trashing it still felt wrong. A home is a home, but you wanted it to look broken into, to make sure that people put two and two together. This isn’t a Dave Strider marketing scheme, you both got hit. After all the work that you’ve done, at least some of the public should understand what that means.

“Us,” you say.

“That’s very sentimental,” she says. “Are you sure you aren’t mourning your car again?”

“Shut up,” you say, and blindly swat at her, hitting her elbow. She hits you back, hand slapping your shoulder. “It’s a good car.”

Rose hums. When you look at her, she’s already back to knitting. You have no idea what she’s making, but it looks like a onesie for an octopus. “We will be fine,” she says. “We have to.”

You nod, and go back to staring out the window, thinking about what Alma said. “It’s just,” you say quietly. “We gotta start thinking about the endgame, here, don’t we.”

“Start?” Rose echoes. “Dave, we know the endgame to this. We’ve known for a while. The second you landed in the hospital with a cut inside your eyeball, you and I both knew that this would end in death.”

You don’t say anything. She’s right, of course she is. You knew then, and she knew, as soon as you texted her from your hospital bed, and she texted you back from a Greyhound bus. And you tried to forget, you both did, for a very long time. You almost managed, for a whole decade, until last year, someone made you scared and angry enough to ram a sword through his throat. Until Rose came and disassembled the body on your rooftop, and then helped you burn it. Reality has caught up with you, and someone is going to die.

The clicking of her needles has stopped again. You turn your head to look at her, and she’s looking back at you, and her face seems younger than it should be. She is just as scared as you are. Neither of you ever wanted it to go this far. Neither of you wanted to kill.

“I don’t like it either,” Rose says. “But someone is going to wind up dead, and it sure as shit isn’t gonna be us.”

Washington, DC, now

)(IC: u comin or what TG: yeah about that

You’re on the hood of your car. The children -- and Sally, John’s pet hedgehog -- are with the one sitter you still trust. Rose is in position, which means she is at a remote location outside the city holding Guy Fieri hostage. She has sent you a picture of him tied to a chair and gagged, which means that it’s go time.

All according to plan.

TG: how about you come kill me somewhere else instead of home sweet home )(IC: why would i do that TG: dying mans last request? )(IC: stfu lol this is so obviously a trap TG: wow ok so is yours )(IC: fair TG: just thought that you know TG: john means something to both of us and dont try to tell me no because i know he does TG: so like can we maybe duke it out somewhere where i wont accidentally blow him to smithereens TG: innuendo intended )(IC: UG)( )(IC: gross TG: lmao TG: anyway bethany you know me and you know im comin with c4 in my backpack if im comin TG: do you really want that around your son or can you just get off your ass and meet me here so john stays safe )(IC: u reely think ya have a fighting chance to even get that far )(IC: buoy you set one foot in my house and ya get spearfished TG: yeah not really making a great point for me to come there rn TG: just thought maybe youd wanna be with your guy guy )(IC: who TG: you know TG: guy the guy )(IC: tf

You text her the picture that Rose sent, just Guy Fieri looking miserable, no indication of whether or not you or Rose are with him.

)(IC: )(-EY )(IC: motherglubber what do u think yoar doin TG: yoar??? TG: thats literally not a word. wym you oar?? what TG: anyway im gonna dismember this asshole if you dont agree to keep john safe and come here and im gonna start with the frosted tips )(IC: FIN--E )(IC: cant effin wait to be done with you )(IC: ill come krill ya if its so shrimportant just gimme the location TG: ok shrimportant is actually pretty funny TG: [coordinates] TG: see you soon

She drives a fuchsia Jaguar that looks like Xzibit threw up all over it, because of course she does. You watch it leave from your perch on your Mustang, then slide off the hood. shes gone, you text Rose. get ready to bounce

Before you leave, you turn back toward you car, and gently pat the roof. “See you soon,” you repeat, “for one last ride.”

Look, it’s a good car, alright.

Later on in the plan, once you’ve convinced John to come with you, and Rose has joined you in the no doubt brutal course out of the house littered with security guards, the three of you will pack into this car, and you will drive. You will be tailed, you know you will. Rose and you estimate two to three SUVs with more security personnel that will follow you, and sooner or later, you won’t stand a chance against them.

So, you’ll call the cops. You don’t usually do this -- even during all these years, neither you nor Crocker ever called the police on each other, and technically, you still won’t, today. You will just anonymously call authorities, and tell them about a burning car by the side of the road. Then you will hang up, and you and Rose and John will hop out of a moving vehicle as you crash your beloved Mustang and have it go up in flames. Authorities will come and find Dave Strider’s infamous car, and hopefully that’ll get people talking.

Crocker’s guys will hopefully exit their cars and go looking for you, or at least for John. It’s an easy con from there -- while they look, you will steal their SUVs and drive off toward your safehouses. Simple. No sweat.

“This better work,” you mutter to yourself, then leave your car behind and start climbing the fence around Crocker manor.

You’ve been here once before, while she was out and John was showing you around. You weren’t actively trying to case the place back then, just spending time with your boyfriend and checking out where he grew up, but you couldn’t help how curious you were. You still remember the most important spots, and you did your best to paint a proper picture of them to Rose (you drew a map in MS Paint), so now you have a pretty good idea of where you need to go.

The guard posts, of course, are randomized. You’ll have to take these as they come, and you feel prepared enough, with just your sword and a handful of knives. You’re wearing the kevlar you wore to the Oscars. You’re gonna be fine.

It’s a race against time now, knowing that there is no guarantee when Crocker will be catching on and returning to her house, and knowing that you stand no chance actually fighting her face to face. You climbed in toward the side of the house, because it’s the shortest distance between fence and wall. The front and back yards are ridiculously huge and opulent, and while you would have plenty of gaudy statues to hide behind, you’re not looking to make your way through there.

The first guard spots you right as you hop down off the fence, and your knife is in his shoulder before he even finishes drawing his gun on you. He’s also wearing a vest, but those don’t stop blades, and you take offense in knowing that she made them dress up like that. As if either you or Rose were going to show up with guns. She really doesn’t know you at all. You knock out the guard with a hit of the knife grip against his temple. Maybe you can get through this without deaths.

One of them you comfortably take out from behind a useless fountain placed in this part of the garden for some reason, appreciating how quiet and low-key you can be about it so far. The bigger the ruckus, the sooner she’ll return, so having them all go down in silence is your best case scenario.

It’s the third guard that ruins your track record. You’re almost at the house wall, and you know you’re under the right window, which means all you have to do is scale it and climb right into John’s room, but for that to work you need to have a clean path behind you. Which you don’t, you realize the second a bullet hits your back.

Your vest catches it, but the momentum still knocks you down, and you scrape both of your palms open on the weird break between lawn and pavement. You hate this fucking garden. Who lives like this? You’re gasping for breath and trying not to inhale any grass, dealing with the reality that this is the first time someone has shot at you and actually hit you, and the bullet might not have penetrated skin at all, but Jesus Fucking Christ it still feels awful. Like someone kicked you in the spine, only with a bullet instead of a foot.

Onward. You hear footsteps behind you, and now it’s your turn to kick, hitting them in the face with your boot in the same motion that you’re pushing yourself up from the ground. As they curse and stumble, you draw your sword, but they catch their footing quickly, and you know you only have a split second to act. That gun is pointing at you, again, or still, and they’re going for your head this time, and if you don’t fight now, the journey ends for you here. Someone is going to die, and it sure as shit can’t be you. Your arm darts forward.

The sword goes through their vest, their ribs, and their heart -- you wouldn’t call it smoothly, you really wouldn’t. You can feel resistance with every inch, you feel it right up to your shoulder, and you hate it, and it makes you want to throw up, but you can’t, now. You shove them off your blade and watch them crumple to the ground, and turn right back toward the wall. They are not getting up again. That’s on you, and you can deal with that later. You have to get moving.

Your phone vibrates.

You manage to pull yourself up on a balcony and crouch there, hiding from whatever is going on in the yard now. Other guards must have heard the shot being fired, so you really need to get the fuck out of sight, but this has to do, for now. If Crocker is messaging you, you have to respond, so she doesn’t think you’re in her goddamn garden.

)(IC: yo )(IC: send me proof yoar still with him )(IC: almost there this betta be worth it TG: one sec

As expected. All according to plan, so far. You hope the blood on your sword won’t make the sheath sticky. You’ll have to clean it, later. You don’t want to.

TG: shes asking for proof TG: go ahead. sorry TT: No worries. TT: I know we don’t endorse violence, but honestly, Dawon, after being in a room with him for this long, I am quite happy to do this.

She sends you a picture, and you grimace at your phone. It takes a lot to make you grimace, as a Strider born and raised -- at the same time, you’re not easily shocked or grossed out, but this isn’t great to look at. Fieri’s eye has been pulled from its socket, dangling down his cheek suspended from the nerve, a hole in the eyeball. You hope Crocker won’t be able to tell that this was done with a knitting needle, and forward the photo to her.

TG: hows this )(IC: )(--EY FUCK OFF )(IC: stop i reely like guy 38( TG: yeah well i really like john TG: eye for an eye TG: hurry it up im waiting and theres a second eye to gauge out )(IC: ten minutes )(IC: ur gonna be so sorry buoy

TG: 10 mins TT: On my way.

Okay. Crocker is on her way to a location where there will only be Guy Fieri and a set of elaborate boobytraps which you know won’t kill her, but hopefully slow her down. Rose is on her way here, to help you and John get out of here. That’s plenty of time you still have. Things are going suspiciously well, you think, before you remember the ache in your back and the fact that you killed someone.

You have to get to John.

He’s another two floors up, but you are right in front of a balcony door. For a second, you wonder if you could get into the house from here and do the rest from inside, so you don’t present yourself to the mob of people with guns in the garden. Unfortunately, before you can do that, another person with a gun appears on the other side of that door, mouths an angry what the fuck at you, and draws an assault rifle. Alright, well.

The thing that has mostly kept you from becoming too violent in the past is the fact that you’re fast, and you’re a great climber, so when you hop backward onto the banister of the balcony and pull yourself up to the next one above you, it happens so fast that nobody in the garden reacts. It’s after you’re already crouching behind the balcony, thankfully made of robust concrete, that the shots start hitting it. You do nothing, count the bullets, wait for them to get rid of half of their magazines down there. Then you pull a knife, peek over the balcony, and throw it right into someone’s bicep.

More shots. More ducking and counting. You have two more knives to throw, and you do, rinse and repeat. The people down there are very angry with you now, and very much still able to shoot, but you figure at least their aim will be off, and they’ll be slower. You hope. You haven’t held a gun yourself in fucking forever.

You take a breath, and jump up to grab the balcony you know belongs to John.

As soon as you’re in the open, another bullet hits your back, further toward your side this time, and you almost let go. You let out an undignified noise instead, and hold on harder, focusing all you have into your arms to pull yourself up. Shots are ringing in your ears, and one hits the concrete right next to your head at almost the same time that another one grazes your leg. You hiss in pain, grunt in exertion, pull, pull, and roll yourself onto John’s balcony.

Someone in the garden yells, “Motherfucker!”

You sit, curled up, and pull apart the tear in your pants with your aching fingers to check the wound. It’s not deep, certainly not as bad as the chunk of missing flesh you have in your arm from being shot at last year. It’s fine. You’ll forget about it in a second, when your newest problem will be telling your amnesiac boyfriend that he needs to come with you.

You pull yourself up into a crouch, not more. You don’t want to risk getting shot in the head as you finally face him, so you just do it like this. Hunkered down, disheveled and bloody, you lean forward and knock on John’s window.

[remmiesaloser]

13 Years | 4 Weeks

honestly, I dont know which of the two have been longer in my life. 

so recently I ended a 13 year long relationship with the guy I've been dating since my freshman year of high school. it took me this long to understand, acknowledge, and accept the relationship was emotionally (and borderline physically) abusive and thanks two my two best friends and a very nice therapist I asked him to move out.

I thought the overwhelming life style change would be the hardest. I haven't been alone since I was 14 and it took me a long time to build up the courage to end things because I am terrified of change and had little to no idea what to do without him. to my surprise I've adapted to being alone pretty well. the loneliness does get to me sometimes - I miss those moments we had where we could have a conversation without speaking. I miss over a decade’s worth of inside jokes, and it still hurts when I see something and instantly think of him cause it was our thing.

its a daily struggle to remind myself why I did this because its frighteningly easy to minimize the damage he did when he’s not here to do it every day. the gaslighting and emotional manipulation isn't something that just switches off or diminishes with distance. somehow, in some super shitty, unfair way, it gets worse. because im left alone with my thoughts that he’s managed to turn against me and they’re still working angles for him that catch me off-guard sometimes. I still battle with guilt for making him move out, because I feel terrible that now he’s stuck living with his mom and all his things are in boxes. and I hate that it’s gonna take a long time for that to go away. 

but I digress. because all of that isn’t the hardest part. the hardest part is getting him the fuck out of this apartment. we 'ended things’ April 5th. there are quotes around that because we haven’t officially broken up. like, I told him I needed a break till he gets his shit together, and he’s all but moved out, but I haven’t even changed our relationship status on Facebook (yay, guilt!) and we haven't really agreed that we’re broken up. Jesus, again I digress. ANYWAYS. I knew it was gonna be a process to move him out because our lives are so intertwined that we’ve had to go through rooms and drawers and boxes one by one separating our shit. and this process has been fucking agonizing because he is dragging his goddamn feet. 

Initially I thought we were gonna bang this out in a weekend, get all the shit out and be done. A month later, and there’s still a pile of his shit at the top of the stairs, a handful of things in the corner of the living room (including the giant china cabinet filled with his things) and his grandmother’s dishes in my cupboards. but that’s a post for another day. because right now im just gonna vent about him taking his sweet ass time, being insanely petty, and still somehow fucking manipulating me when he doesn’t even live here anymore. 

honestly the pettiness and inconsideration for my own time and requests is the biggest thing that’s getting to me, what’s driving me to write this. most of the time he’s been here for his shit, his mom’s been with him, and I was chalking up a lot of the pettiness to her. because he’d be here to get the things from the living room, and hours after they'd left I’d notice small things had been taken from other parts of the house. now some of the stuff he’s taken was his, just something I was using with him that I’d assumed he’d at least mention he was taking. im a lot of things, but selfish isn’t one of them and honestly unless it’s something from my family or something that I bought that was expensive, I don’t care. he can have it. It’s more the fact that, when I need something all of a sudden I cant find it and realize he took it. 

like, his nana’s pots and pans. They’re a really nice set his mom let us have and I fully expected them gone. my only request was that he give me a heads up so I could go out and get my own set when he planned to take them because with them gone, all I’d have left is a few frying pans. This is our conversation from that weekend:  

This was Saturday afternoon. He never told me he wasn’t going to come by Saturday, and gave me a 15 minute heads up he was on his way over on Sunday - which did me no good because I wasn’t even home. That meant I couldn’t clean out the dressers (I didnt want to do it until the day he was going to get them because I would have to leave my clothes on the bed until I could get my own dresser from my parent’s house once his were gone). When I got home, all of my clothes were thrown on my bed and the ground.I had to rewash a bunch of shit, refold everything, and then clean the entire room from the mess that was made. 

fucking on top of that, his mom decided to take the pots and pans. I’d specifically asked him Saturday because I was going to Walmart and could have bought a new set for myself while there. I didn't want to buy them until I needed to because I’m trying to save money and didn’t get paid that weekend, so I figured if he’s not taking them I don’t need to get things until I get paid next weekend. Wrong. I had to go out that night again and get a set because, as I said, all I had were 3 frying pans and a skillet thing. Oddly enough, she didn’t take the dishes. They were her mom’s, just like the pots and pans, and for some reason she didn’t want them... don’t worry, I already plan to pack them up this weekend and give them back because lord knows what’ll happen if I dont and she decides she wants them six years from now. 

honestly though the biggest level of petty was the Tylenol PM. I know, it’s not a big deal. But it’s just one of those little things that I stopped and was like, are you fucking kidding me. I noticed that, after taking his bed and dressers, the pack of tissues he’d got us from Sam’s was gone. Again, he bought them, whatever. would’ve been nice for him to tell me so I had a heads up to fucking get them when I was at Walmart but whatever. he also took a 6-pack of toilet paper he’d gotten literally the day we ended things (because he’d gone to king Soopers with his mother instead of talking to me about the fight we’d had) and he’d initially told me to keep it, it was for me anyways. I noticed just last weekend it was gone. 

but the fucking Tylenol PM. I'm not one to buy brand name medicine. if I can get store brand, I will. Almost all my medicine is store brand except that Tylenol PM because I was really sick one year and wanted the good stuff. Y’all know how expensive Tylenol is. I sprang for it, and I used it sparingly because I didnt want to have to buy more if I didn’t really need it. Well, two weekends ago I fell down a fucking mountain. I was running a trail down a mountain, tripped, flew through the air, and landed on my shoulder and kneecap. It still hurts, and that day I was in a lot of pain. The regular Tylenol and Ibuprofen that I’d been switching back and forth with all day just wasn’t doing the trick and I was like, okay. this is a Tylenol PM kind of pain. That night, right before bed, I went to grab it from the bathroom cabinet. 

it was gone. the rest of my medicines, the store brand acetaminophen and store brand ibuprofen, those were still there, but the Tylenol PM was gone. It has exclusively only lived either on the dresser/nightstand in the bedroom, or the bathroom cabinet. as he took the dresser and nightstand, and it wasn’t in the cabinet, it had been taken. I cannot tell you how livid I was. it still pisses me off. because of all the things to take he took that. Not the rest of his bathroom shit, not even all his shit from the bedroom. but he took the Tylenol PM. I even asked if he knew where it might be - thinking he’d come across it at some point. he told me “it’s always been in the linen closet” where the rest of our medicines are. It was never there, but I checked the entire closet just in case - nothing. Again, I know it’s small. it’s just a bottle of pills. but it’s the whole damn thought behind it. 

there’s more things too - the fact that no, he doesn’t take all his things from a certain room, and I have to then box the rest of his shit up, move it out of my way, and clean the room that he trashed. 

It’s the fact that 90% of the things on our walls were his (which helps show me how little say I had on my own things in the apartment I exclusively pay for) and now that he’s taken them, he’s left the walls, hooks, and nails behind. most of them are up way above my head - he needed a ladder to put them in - and now they’re littered all over the wall. today, as he worked to get the shit from our front bedroom (hopefully the last things he’ll need to get) I asked him if he could also get the nails and hooks out of the wall because I can’t reach them. he asked me, “did you try using the step-ladder?”. I answered no, and he simply said, “that should work then”. Like, no. you put those up, so you could display all the things of yours YOU wanted to display (3 out of 4 walls in the room were covered with his things) and now he can’t even take the tacks down even though he took the hangings down. 

and then of course, it’s the fact that he just leaves a mess in his wake. when he first moved things out of the living room it was a mess. I spent hours rearranging shit, packing up the rest of his shit that he left behind, and then cleaning up everything because I still have to live here. it was the same with the bedroom. and now it’s gonna be the same thing with the front room. I told him today that everything needs to be out by next weekend because I can’t do this every weekend. He asked what I meant by ‘this’ and explained that I was tired of having to clean up everything that got messed up. He told me simply “it’s not being destroyed. I’m just taking my things”. At the moment the entire room was in shambles, everything askew from him digging his things out and leaving my stuff lying in piles. It’s cleaned up now - save the pile of boxes and junk at the top of the stairs - but I told him I have to clean up the mess that’s left behind. He didn’t have an answer for that. 

Honestly there’s really not a point to this. I’m just pissed, I’m annoyed, and I’m angry, and I’m sad. I’m just tired. And I wanted to vent. So if you stuck with me through this, I wanna thank you for listening. I appreciate being heard, because I haven’t been for so long. your time means a lot to me. 

[bigskydreaming]

I’m so mad, I’m so.....fuck. I feel like this doctor had no intention of ever doing this surgery because its like ever since I actually CAME UP with the money, its been one thing after another about why I need to do this still or that, and it feels like they kept stalling or trying to get me to give up, like....idk, nothing I come up with makes SENSE, all I know is they were perfectly fine and helpful in getting me a diagnosis and scans, and then sent me off after I did the final molds/impressions and said the only thing left was they couldn’t move forward until I paid x amount of money...and then I did, and all of a sudden its oh that’s not the right amount, I don’t know who quoted you that (umm you) but actually we need 20K up front because insurance claims can’t be submitted until after treatment and we might not be reimbursed (which again, then why did YOU make me wait to send my insurance preauthorization requests if your policy is to make patients pay in full upfront and wait for reimbursement which...what)...and THEN if there was STILL never a chance of me getting this surgery without paying in full upfront, why did they make me wait around for another week and a half while we waited on getting my insurance approve an access to care form that made this doctor in network (previously she was out of network for my insurance, but I had my insurance check for in network providers and there’s no one in network within a 100 miles of me who does this specific surgery)....like, if even being in network, they still weren’t going to take Blue Shield’s formal, written letter detailing what exactly was covered under my plan and they were intending to pay out....WHY WAIT FOR THIS FORM TO GO THROUGH AND GET THE LETTER BACK AT ALL????

It makes NO fucking sense. I feel like they never expected me to actually be able to come up with the money and idk what, like, she actually doesn’t know how to do the surgery or she doesn’t fucking doesn’t like me or want to or what like, lmfao I don’t even know, it MAKES NO SENSE.

But of course, its super obvious they were putting off calling me and hoping they could ride out the clock and I wouldn’t call today because I can tell the office manager doesn’t like being the go between and having to only give me bad news, but like, tough, that’s your fucking job, and maybe if you’d been a little less ‘gentle’ about it and just flat out admitted you guys were never gonna fucking do this surgery for me, I wouldn’t have WASTED an entire fucking month sitting on my ass, draining my account of money I can’t afford to waste, because my shitty jaw has progressed to the point where I can barely sleep, barely even eat because I have to manually fucking close it with my hand when I chew anything harder than rice, lmfao, and just....

God. The only thing I can think of to do now is try calling every other oral/maxillofacial surgeon in the county and see if they can do these procedures and accept my insurance. I know there’s no in network ones, and I already checked and my insurance can’t help me find a list of out of network ones, I have to basically just google every oral surgeon in LA and even though they’re all apparently out of network if they’re able to perform this surgery at all, I can at least probably get them in network by doing an access to care form again with them too, like since clearly this doctor turned out to not be a viable option? Idek man. Ugh. Jfc. And who knows how long this is gonna take. Ugh if they’d at least just fucking owned up to it and just called me this morning when they decided this still didn’t change shit, I could have had all day to be calling other offices instead of waiting for them to call and hoping this time at least they were aware enough of my DESPERATE FUCKING SENSE OF URGENCY BECAUSE HAVE I MENTIONED CONSTANT FUCKING OWWWWW AND ALSO HEY MY COMPLETE INABILITY TO FUNCTION IN ANY KIND OF MEASURABLY PRODUCTIVE WAY??? that they’d actually KEEP their word this time about calling when they said they’d call.

Now of course, none of these places are open on Saturday from the looks of it, so I won’t even be able to START calling around until Monday, and ugh. jfc. why. why the fuck did they string me along all fucking month if they knew at the end of it all no matter what, they weren’t gonna budge from trying to get me to pay 20K upfront, out of pocket, like I hadn’t told them from the START there was no way I could manage that, and hadn’t told them AGAIN when they TOOK my fucking money in the first place, when I paid them the $6,200 they INITIALLY told me would be my downpayment for this surgery, like I told them THEN that getting the loan for $10K in order to come up with the EXACT amount they specified took every bit of goodwill I could wring out of a lender with the credit I do have and there was ZERO chance of me coming up with ANYTHING more than that amount upfront....so why the fuck didn’t they tell me at least THEN when they ‘corrected’ me on the amount that it didn’t matter HOW MANY fucking hoops I jumped through with my insurance to try and get this doctor the reassurance or surety that they’d be reimbursed for x amount by Blue Shield...like....I COULD HAVE BEEN DOING ALL THIS A GODDAMN MONTH AGO. I’ve been waiting TWO YEARS for a fix to this shit that affects EVERY SINGLE ASPECT of my life, I FINALLY got a fucking diagnosis, a doctor who told me she could fix it, who said she could restore full function and wipe out the problems I have from it completely, no more headaches, no more pain, no more vertigo, no more nerve flareups....and now turns out I’ve wasted ANOTHER full month that got me not a single fucking step closer to this being DONE and FIXED and like.....

I’m so mad. And just. So frustrated. And SO. FUCKING. TIRED. Jfc. I hate them, I really fucking do, like they literally just fucking don’t give a shit no matter how many times I really fucking calmly and civilly lol tried to express how much it gets worse every single day like it has been CONSISTENTLY for the past two years, like never fucking plateauing, no matter HOW bad I think its gotten, it ALWAYS fucking manages to find a way to surprise me when I wake up the next day and yet AGAIN its somehow managed to shift so things are just enough different I NEVER get a chance to even get used to a ‘new normal’ and just fucking adjust to it, as shitty as it might be....ugh. God. I’m just.

LMFAO I honestly think right now I hate this doctor more than the fucking gay-bashers who caused this fucking drama by kicking me in the goddamn face over and over 15 fucking years ago and if THAT’S not hysterically fucked up I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT IS.

Anyway. So that’s my mood tonight, how’s everyone else doing? LOL.

This might be a longshot, but on the off chance that ANYONE knows or is friends with or related to an oral surgeon or oral maxillofacial surgeon in the greater LA area, like, this specifically is what I’ve been told I need to get done:

I need a Mandibular splint, a Total joint surgery on the left tmj (Temporomandibular joint) and an Orthognathic surgery. They specifically ruled out that I didn’t need a jaw replacement surgery because I have enough of the original bone that goes in that joint like, still there, so I didn’t actually need to get a prosthetic joint or the jaw replacement surgery which is apparently riskier and less effective anyway? Idek. If I can even trust anything they told me at this point, lmfao, but let’s just assume I can because not sure this fucker’s depression hour can handle thinking I might have to start back from square one NOPE NOT GONNA HAPPEN NOT THIS GUY I FUCKING REFUSE.

LOL as though my objections have any fucking effect on any of this anyway. BUT I DIGRESS. So yeah, that’s what I supposedly need done, I actually have really fucking good and expensive Blue Shield insurance that I’ve gouged myself a new asshole getting and keeping this year, not to mention needed donation posts and help with that just to still ultimately scrape by and not lose it, all specifically because I knew there was not a chance in hell I could ever afford the treatment I was being told I needed, like, out of pocket, and the irony is due to how expensive living out of a motel is and how like, I couldn’t afford to take any money AWAY from my many doctor visits in order to at any point this past year come up with enough money to put first and last month’s rent down on an apartment (and I look too much like a tweaker apparently, with constant twitches and fidgets and fixing my jaw, for like, anybody to want to just rent a room to me apparently, and even giving them the full story ended up seeming like “im too much drama” hahahaha oh LA I fucking HEART you sometimes), so there was never really any fucking alternative TO living out of motels currently, at least not until I can manage to stay upright on my feet long enough to get a part time job and use that to get a permanent address around here.....AND bottom line is in order to take in enough money from work and then ultimately from help with donations too, in order to keep my motels paid daily and not get kicked out and still manage to eat at least every other day....that was just enough money that it looks from my bank account that I make too much to need or justify Medicare taking on all this for me, ruling that out as an option, even though none of that money in my bank account was ever fucking LEFT by the end of each day after paying rent/food, and I usually only had like three bucks in my account by the time I went to bed each night....doesn’t fucking matter because lolol all they give a shit about is your MONTHLY statements. And I’m well past the point where I can even manage busing all the way around LA to downtown and shit in order to make the daily trips required to get Medicare offices to eventually give enough of a fuck to hear me out, like...a five minute bus ride to Best Buy today to buy a replacement keyboard for this laptop practically wiped me out ahahaha.

Anyway, I’m just venting and purging like I do. Don’t worry, I promise not to actually go supernova and ignite the atmosphere like I threatened earlier, that was all for show, we all know I’m WAY too petty and spiteful an asshole to ever settle for anything less than full fucking victory here and then like...eventual world domination because lol not like I’m letting those frathole rapist gaybasher fuck-offs WIN, like, have you MET me? I have survived this long on ire and spite, I will make it as far as I need to its, just...

*pathetic whines*

I dont fucking waaaaaaaaaaaaant to, I’m tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired, I wanna go to beeeeeeeeed.

Anyway, yeah. So if anyone like, is related to one of those surgical types or KNOWS someone who is, like, my good fucking insurance is set up to pay for having the operation done at Cedars fucking Sinai no matter who does it, like, as long as the doctor has any kind of pre-existing relationship with them, enough to get them to book an OR for them, I guess? I still dont fucking know how all this works, apparently Grey’s Anatomy is not an accurate source, who knew, how dare.

Like but yeah, the endpoint of that particular stream of consciousness vomit was if anyone knows ANYONE who knows ANYTHING about ANY of that surgical medicalese blah blah blah that I posted, like...my anons are open, feel free to pop in with a name and number or suggestion or referral or whatever the fuck, I will take ANY connection no matter how flimsy if it exists at all, I don’t care if its your second grade teacher’s dog’s veterinarians second cousin by marriage’s roommate. That’s GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.