#im still holding onto the last threads of hope

[elleloquently]

invisible string [7] : ellie williams

part six

| college!ellie x female!reader - after suffering several rewrites, part seven is finally here! a huge thank you to everyone who has been so patient and supportive <3 also, i know it's typical to post the tag list at the top but there were quite a few people so it's at the bottom instead, sorry abt that! this part is a lil different so im kinda nervous hahahaha

| c/w - anxiety

your body carried you down the familiar path to class, but your mind felt absent.

you got there early, habit, but paced around in the cold until the very last minute. you knew ellie would be there, her habit - apparently, sitting and waiting in the seat next to yours and you felt unable to face her.

either you didn't truly know why you felt that way, or you were clinging onto the last dwindling thread of delusion that your mind allowed.

you liked ellie. you really liked ellie. and ellie... 'liked' you... too?

the minutes ticked by quicker than you could gather your thoughts and you made a break for the classroom, your fingers turned red from clutching onto your cold drink so tightly.

you were preoccupied and you had hardly even drank any of it. you frowned at your useless purchase. the ice was melting and the sight looked off-putting, but your stomach was hurting too much anyway to try and make it worthwhile with one last sip.

your idea to throw it away upon entering the classroom was short lived, as the professor was standing in the front of the room and you didn't want to cross the front to throw away your practically full beverage.

it sloshed in the cup and you winced, imagining your own stomach as it twisted.

ellie glanced up as you came around to your seat and the crease on her forehead disappeared immediately as her eyes landed on you. the idea of keeping a secret made you feel dirty, but you weren't sure if you were even actually keeping one.

"was worried you weren't coming or something," ellie muttered, glancing over as you claimed your spot next to her.

you smiled but didn't meet her eyes. the feeling of your heartbeat pounding in your ears was overwhelming.

"are you okay?" ellie asked, her voice a low whisper as she studied your expression.

you tried to focus instead on your notebook and laptop. you didn't want to be rude and you definitely found it difficult to resist ellie when she was staring at you like that, but you needed to clear your head. the idea of clearing your head sounded ridiculous though, and you thought maybe you hadn't had a clear head since the first day that ellie decided to speak to you in class.

ellie tapped her pen on your desk and you jumped, realizing too many seconds had gone by and you still didn't answer her question.

"i'm good. just stressed, i think," you responded, not totally lying but not completely telling the truth, either.

you hoped your answer was enough to hold ellie over at least until class was finished, your professor seemed grumpy lately and you didn't want to subject yourself to an in-class call out.

ellie sighed and sank down in her chair, physically pulling away from you. your heart ached while you watched, suddenly wanting to tell her everything. a frown was etched onto her lips and you wanted to swipe it away.

throughout class, you spent more time watching ellie take notes than taking notes of your own. halfway through it seemed as though ellie gave up too, because she started doodling over her written words. you glanced over often, not trying to be sneaky because you didn't particularly mind if ellie caught you. if she did catch you, she would only grin and carry on anyway.

the ice melted quicker in the warm classroom, the condensation relentless and a small pool was beginning to form around the bottom of your cup. you quickly wiped it away with your sleeve, face burning. the patheticness of the remaining drink was taunting, beads of water slipping and threatened to dampen the corner of your notes.

it felt like a token of your anxiety, the way you couldn't stop it.

ellie had been watching but you didn't notice, until a very pointed "dude" left her mouth. you turned to face her, pausing the action of wiping off the cup with your sleeve over your hand,

"are you done with that?" ellie asked, to which you nodded weakly.

"you don't want it anymore?" she rephrased, wanting to be sure with confirmation.

"i do not want it," you whispered back, setting your eyes on the drink that's caused you too much trouble in such a short amount of time. you glared at it and ellie raised an eyebrow, trying not to smile. she reached her arm out, and it took you just a moment to understand what she wanted.

you handed ellie the cup, not really seeing the appeal in the drink anymore but decided there was no harm if ellie wanted it. instead, she surprised you by standing up from her chair, drink in hand. she swiftly and quietly moved to the front of the room, throwing it away and returning to her spot without a word.

oh. problem solved.

the evidence from your moment with dina and jesse, gone.

ellie didn't give it a second thought, but you replayed it in your mind over and over until the lecture was finished.

“so, should we hit the dining hall or do you wanna just go back to my dorm?”

ellie posed the question with such a casual confidence that it caught you off guard, the pen you were putting away nearly slipping through your fingers.

“oh,” you winced, and immediately knew how bad your reaction was.

“oh,” ellie copied with a dry laugh. “it’s okay, we don’t have to do anything.”

“no,” you quickly rushed out, not wanting to make her feel bad but you did have another class. “it’s just, homework.” you tried to explain.

“it’s okay,” ellie repeated, fidgeting with her hands.

“i’m sorry…” you smiled sadly, unsure if you should hold eye contact or keep packing up. ellie looked away, straightening her shoulders as she hoisted up her bag. you copied her action, guilt filling up inside of you.

you felt conflicted but were left with no choice, unable to soothe your guilty conscious.

ellie quickly recovered however, and an easy smile graced her lips as she bid you a goodbye.

“okay, I guess i’ll go back to my room alone,” she complained, giving you a pointed look.

you pushed out a laugh, amused by ellie’s tone but you felt defeated.

"i'd come with you if i could," you said honestly.

ellie dropped her exaggerated expression and met your eyes. "i know," she said.

your heart jumped and you had to leave, before weeks worth of confessions left the tip of your tongue. "text me, okay?" you said, trying really hard to force your voice not to wobble.

"always," ellie replied, raising her hand to wave bye as you finally parted ways.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

you didn’t mean to ignore ellie.

with finals only a week away, it wasn't exactly easy to find agreeable times to hang out, no matter how badly you wanted it.

you had felt bad, regretfully declining when ellie asked you to hang out after your shared class. the burden of homework was holding you tightly in its grasp... though you would've had no problem doing homework with ellie.

you did have homework. it was just after your class. the class that ellie had no idea of you having, since you had originally told her that you were free that hour simply because you wanted to have lunch with her. you certainly didn't regret that day, but you felt a little awkward about the idea of finally coming clean now.

so, you told ellie that you had too much homework, and tried to ignore the dejected face that ellie failed to mask at your response.

you hadn't told her about your run in with her friends, either. if dina and jesse wanted ellie to know that you had run into them, they could tell her. you hardly knew them, anyway. the idea of making them a conversation topic felt strange.

that was monday, when you completely blew off ellie except not really because you seriously had a class so you aren't sure why you feel as though you've transformed into a total liar.

you had texted since then, just a little, unable to sense the difference between friendly friend texts and friendly flirty texts.

someone that ellie likes.

someone that ellie likes likes likes someone that ellie likes ellie likes-

you reached for your phone on your bed, forcibly silencing your inner monologue.

hey, are you still free to hang out today?|

you stared blankly down at your screen before rapidly deleting the drafted text, letter by letter.

hey ): i don't think i'm gonna be free to hang out today|

you squinted at the screen until the words looked fuzzy. when you opened your eyes normally again, the text didn't look any more appealing. you huffed and deleted that one too, tossing your phone as far away as you could without dropping it off of the end of your bed.

you had said no to ellie last. she was probably waiting on you to make the next move... how would she feel if you just... didn't?

unless she was totally normal, going about her day and being busy and most definitely not waiting to hear from you.

someone that ellie likes.

yeah, that's... normal. right? right?

you decided that maybe you needed to study a little harder in your psychology class, because you couldn't decipher whether or not it was a logical thing to get caught up on or if you were just going totally crazy. running yourself delusional? likely.

being around ellie and pining after her felt much more appealing when there wasn't a possibility that she could like you back.

you desperately wished to backtrack but yet, there wasn't really much that changed, was there? just one silly little sentence... one that you were probably misinterpreting anyway.

the thought kept you busy on tuesday, though for once you were able to throw yourself into your studies as a distraction instead of being distracted away from your studies. you didn't reach out to ellie, and no new messages came. you didn't hang out that day.

wednesday was your last actual day of class, the last class before finals began.

it quickly dawned on you that it was your last guaranteed time to see ellie. the idea of not being able to sit next to her in class anymore was all that you needed to adjust your priorities for the time being.

you were determined to be in a good mood, determined to make the most of your 'last' but not really last day with ellie.

while getting ready, you were very much aware of the anxiety picking away at your brain, posing you a million questions that you didn't have the answer to. you compensated by carefully picking out an outfit, taking extra time to prepare for the day to make sure you felt as good as possible. all the while, an aggravating dark cloud loomed above you despite your rejection of it. you smoothed down your top in the mirror, ignoring the way that your hands were shaking.

it seems to be a case where every time you are specifically set on having a good day, you end up having one of your worst days.

by the time you left for class, your stomach was hurting. it wasn't a new sensation, the way the uneasiness built up and felt as though it was pricking away at your insides... but it wasn't on par with your idea of a good day.

the wind felt overstimulating and perhaps your last straw was when you were walking behind someone to get into the building, and you know for a fact that they saw you because you made eye contact, but they didn't hold the door open for you and it nearly slammed in your face.

you felt like a laughable character, the way that tears welled up in your eyes as defeat swallowed your previous optimistic determination.

face hot and rapidly blinking, maybe your final final straw was ellie, who was already sat and almost immediately raised her eyes to look as you entered the classroom.

"no melty drink today?" she questioned teasingly, though dropped her tone as concern washed over her once realizing your state.

"what's wrong?" she quickly replaced, leaning into you so her voice could be hushed.

you could've laughed at her question and you nearly did, because sincerely, what was even wrong? you couldn't think of one valid explanation on the spot, and the real reason was enough to bring back the tears that you had desperately wiped away outside of the door.

but it was ellie, so you spoke anyway.

"just wanted to have a good day," you admitted, instantly hating how pathetic your voice sounded.

"and it's not a good day?"

you shook your head, finding yourself wanting to confide in her about everything. you should've hung out with her yesterday.

"wanna come over after class? talk about it? make it better?"

ellie presented the offer so casually, so immediately that it almost made you feel worse. you wanted to say yes.

"i can't," you forced, and ellie's eyebrows knitted together.

"that's okay," ellie said, but it came out a little too quickly.

you didn't want it to be okay. you wanted her to be annoyed or upset that you hadn't been hanging out with her and the worst part was that it seemed like she did feel that way, maybe deep down, but she wasn't openly expressing it whatsoever.

you frowned and it was difficult to find any mental footing with rational thought. you were not entitled to her greater emotions simply because she liked you. as a friend.

"is it okay?" you questioned, a little too sharp and it was embarrassing.

"yes...?" ellie's eyes darted over your face in confusion.

"sorry," you breathed, forcing a reality check. "i just... feel bad."

"don't you always?" ellie retorted, and it wasn't supposed to hurt but it did.

"what?" you were taken aback and ellie focused elsewhere, no longer looking at you.

"nothing. you just... you say you feel bad when we hang out but now you're saying you feel bad if we don't."

her response made you furrow your eyebrows but you really wanted to crawl in-word, not realizing how strongly ellie had picked up on your habit of feeling.

"yeah, 'cause i-" you started, but ellie shook her head.

"it's fine. you don't have to make up an excuse or... really. don't feel bad."

it's not that easy.

ellie smiled but you wished that she didn't because it was obvious that it was forced. the reaction made you wonder if there was something going on with ellie too, or if you were just actually bothering her.

you opened your mouth to speak but your professor initiated the start of class, review questions instantly rolling in. ellie sat hunched over her notebook, which sparked an idea.

you leaned over and began rummaging through your bag until you felt a small pad of paper in your grasp. you stole ellie's pen from her desk and she watched but pretended not to care.

on a blue sticky note, you drew something simple. a little doodle of a planet like you had done before, and a couple of stars. you felt silly and a little bit stupid but you pressed the post it onto ellie's desk, along with her pen.

you could see ellie contemplate whether or not she should show that she noticed it, and you had to press the back of your hand to your mouth so that you didn't release a laugh. you didn't watch her and decided to instead focus on your review, giving ellie 'space' to decide what she wanted to do.

a few minutes ticked away until the little blue square and pen reappeared on your desk. ellie's addition included her own planet, and a few stars mixed in with yours. you felt better, more capable, and raised your eyes to look at her.

ellie didn't have the time to pretend like she wasn't watching you. your lips slipped into a smile that ellie matched, leaving you to feel okay enough to focus on the review without worrying.

at the dismissal of class, you felt strangely sentimental. you packed up quickly so you could leave at the same time as ellie but she was hesitating at her desk, waiting for you.

"can i keep it?" she asked, glancing to the sticky note that you held delicately in your hand. it was sweet and you automatically handed it over, wondering if she was going to put that one on her wall too. you hoped that she would.

"are you going back to your room?" you questioned softly. ellie held the door open for you as you left the classroom.

"yeah," she answered with a heavy sigh.

you had a bit of time before your next class, about an hour to try and turn your situation around.

"ellie?" you started, walking shoulder to shoulder throughout the hallway. she looked at you in concern, eyebrows drawing together in anticipation.

"i wasn't making up excuses. i do feel bad if i can't hang out because... because i do like hanging out, so-"

"it's alright," ellie interrupted, though her voice was softer than before.

you nodded and carefully continued on. "i don't mean to always feel bad, i swear. it just... happens. and then i feel bad for feeling bad and it's just so...ridiculous. do i sound ridiculous?" you conclude with a frustrated laugh.

"maybe a little," ellie contemplated, but you could tell that she was teasing again by the way that she moved her head, as if she's mentally debating with herself. "but i get it. seriously, you're fine. i like hanging out with you too so you don't... have to worry."

she tentatively reassured you and joked instead of outwardly apologizing, and you wondered where she got that from. you're grateful anyway and relieved, but roll your eyes playfully at her sincerity. inward, your stomach is doing flips.

like like like.

that word is being used entirely too much lately.

"i ran into your friends the other day," you mention, hoping that it sounded casually enough. "dina and jesse?"

"oh yeah?" ellie laughs, but her hand fidgets with her sleeve.

"they seem really nice... it's lucky, to have friends like that, you know?"

ellie nodded, smiling knowingly. it felt like a safe topic, so you continued on.

"i didn't know if they mentioned it... i'm sure they were just being polite but they invited me to lunch. it was just nice of them to offer anyway... said it was nice to meet someone that you liked, they're friendly. i just hope i didn't seem completely rude, i was sort of running late so i couldn't talk long but... how long have you guys known each other?"

your cheeks grew warm as you rambled so you stopped yourself, looking to ellie instead. the smile had left her face and she stared straight ahead. she looked pale, a white cast replacing the usual pink warmth on her cheeks.

"i'm sorry," you quickly rushed, not knowing what you were apologizing for.

"don't be," ellie stated, but her words were short.

"did i say something...?"

ellie blinked and faced you. "no, you didn't say anything."

you breathed a sigh of relief, but still didn't want to toe a cautious line. it was too much, too quickly, and you weren't good at making things sound casual like ellie usually seemed to be.

"is that all they said?" ellie questioned, and you quickly nodded.

"yeah. yeah, it was short. i had class. it was on monday morning," you clarify.

"oh," ellie realized, as if she had managed to find a missing puzzle piece. "did they say something?" she rephrased, coughing out a laugh.

"it was super quick," you reiterated, but your heart was racing.

"okay. i just thought maybe... you seemed weird on monday. maybe they said something stupid," ellie said, but you could tell she was still thinking it over. maybe that was your sign, really the only clue you needed after all. ellie actually looked stressed though, and you wished that you hadn't brought it up at all.

"weird?" you tried to sound surprised, but you knew exactly what she was referring to and why you had been that way. "not weird... just stressed. i have so much to do, i know you do too," you tried, attempting to smooth over the awkwardness.

"was it because i just assumed we were going to hang out?" ellie mumbled, sounding accusatory yet upset with only herself.

"ellie, no." your palms were beginning to feel too warm but you wrapped them into your sleeves anyway. "i like hanging out with you."

like like like!

you continued, grasping for straws and desperately wishing that dina had never called your name. "i've sorta been spending more time with you than my homework," you laughed carefully. "i like it, don't get me wrong. i just had... you know, school."

ellie nodded but she wasn't listening, not really.

“i didn’t mean to freak you out,” ellie said, her tone slightly defensive.

your jaw dropped in surprise and you felt as though your head was spinning. "what?" you asked, genuinely confused. you weren't sure exactly what illiciated the response, either you actually blindly said something stupid or you were blindly unaware of ellie's feelings.

the conversation was going nowhere, quickly. you were speaking but not listening, both absorbed in your own feelings to the point of ignorance.

"ellie, we're fine," and despite the circumstance you selfishly loved the excuse to let her name roll off of your tongue. you halted to a stop as the hallway came to an end, not truly ready to part ways.

ellie stood still for a moment and you wondered if she was gathering her thoughts until she finally spoke again. "of course we're fine," she concluded. she didn't meet your eyes and you deflated for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

"hey," you started again, another failed attempt to fix the conversation.

"it's okay," ellie breezed past you. "i know you're busy, i'll see you later, alright?"

she didn't give you a second to respond before she was out of the doors and out of the building. you were left standing there, mouth agape and head reeling.

there was too much to confuse, too much to get wrong and you found it difficult to differentiate a good start from a bad end.

you wouldn't get to just see her next class, and it felt like your last opportunity had truly been your last opportunity.

you went to your next class but you weren't really present, not with ellie on your mind and every wrong step that had been taken. it hadn't even been a full confession and it went wrong. maybe you had gotten it all wrong, or maybe you were both dancing around your own feelings, destined to screw it all up.

[ part eight ]

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

tags :

@pinkfillerose @whore-era @lilisvlibrary @elliefilms @whteflwcrs @jasontoddsdreamgirl @icedcold @sarahsmileslikesarahd0esntcare @evanpetersluver @muthafuckingstargirl @pctcr @illicitghosts @mell0w-mushr00m @queen-arya22 @deafelliewilliams @urmyheartshaka @yourfrenchteacher @me-and-your-husband @blairfox04

[softness-and-shattering]

Requisite grouch about the representation of embroidery, particularly in Bridgerton. Season 3, Im just getting to. So I get the point of this little scene is "Eloise is not interested in conventional feminine topics and doesnt fit in with her peers, and we are doing this by showing disdain for embroidery" and I fully get that in the cultural consciousness embroidery is this frivolous nonsense that rich women did to keep busy and isnt worth anything.

But two things. One, as Ive said before, the Bridgerton costuming is full of embroidery, of the kind that has to be machine made. And Im not gonna talk about historical accuracy because I consider the costuming part of the shows premise ie something you just have to accept to enjoy the show because its central. Like you cant enjoy Dungeon Meshi if you have to know how its possible for magic and dungeons to exist, you just have to accept that its part of the setting.

So either the seamstress has a few machines shes using for the lavish embroidery or her cloth is extravagantly expensive beyond all reason. LIke even more than youre already thinking.

And these women are surrounded by it, making their trade with it, its literally built into their fashion. So scorn for it makes zero sense. Second, in this scene in particular at the ball. The dialogue goes, almost exactly:

"Well the leaf stitch is tried and true"

[I think Eloise says something]

"Then theres the running stitch, the straight stitch, the fern stitch, the French knot -"

"What's your favourite stitch Eloise?"

This is not how people talk about embroidery! Its not exciting because of the stitches that exist, its exciting for how you use the stitches and what shapes and textures you can make, and how you manipulate the thread and fabric to create all kinds of interesting effects and patterns. And I fully understand that someone can be bored by that, its not for everyone. Im just mad that their "this is a normal conversation about embroidery" is listing stitching and asking someone their favourite. They could have done something like

"I just learned a new stitch, its called the split stitch, and it has this really cool effect that makes the thread look like its knitted, so Im embroidering my dog with this technique to really capture his fur, and im using French knots for his little beady eyes, and then Im gonna use the split stitch and this gorgeous russet floss to make him the coziest little sweater!"

"Oh my god I do not want to hear another thing about your thread dog and its fake thready sweater."

Thats like, a real conversation someone might have that someone else could find boring, and its respectful - and realistic - to the hobby and craft and art of embroidery! It sounds like something a human might say. Not "here are some stitch names, wait why are you being rude?". Its like imitating a conversation about someones dog like "and he has paws and his paws have nails and then he has knees and then he has two eyes and a tail" thats not how people talk about dogs! you might see "his tail is so waggy, and his eyes are so soulful, and his little feet are the cutest thing, let me tell you a story -". We couldve had a story about an embroidery mishap, that could be funny.

but no we must hold onto old outdated and sexist ideas about things and disdain them for no good reason while our costume department is embroidering everything because lets not examine any of our attitudes about anything!

The worst was still the dressmaker last season complaining about ladies and their embroidery MAAM THATS LITERALLY YOUR JOB. Ok now I can go back to watching for the pretties. And I very much admire Colin's big swooshy coat.

Im also trying to work out if Cressida is sapphic. Eloise and Pen absolutely have "middle grade sapphic friends have strangely intense friendship and then huge strangely intense breakup fight," and looks like Pen is bi, but Im really hoping they properly go into queer themes with Eloise and not just sign her up for a guy later. Also pretty sure the latest Bridgerton this season - Francesca? - is ace. Big ace vibes on her.

Swooshy coat!!

[otter-pup]

It finally clicks for me, and a soft snap of my fingers stops the spell. But it doesn't stop the pressure from the rest of the eggs in your womb. Several more were added just before I stopped the spell, and they added enough pressure for an eight and ninth egg to push past your cervix. The first egg is forced halfway out of your cunt, and no amount of pushing or clenching can get it back in.

"9 minutes," I mutter to you as I place a hand on my side. "Hold the eggs for 9 minutes for me, okay? Try and hold in all the eggs, puppy."

I know it's hard, especially the amount of eggs in your womb begin to slowly force the tip of a tenth egg through your cervix. It seems to be an effort, though, with the ninth egg not being too far from your cervix. So there's a bit of hope that it won't get through.

Your pants and shirt have thankfully stopped tearing. While your shirt still continues to cover little skin, your pants are noticeably hanging by a thread. One wrong move and the seams could snap and tear completely.

So you'll just have to be extra careful for the next 9 minutes.

🐺

i can tell when the spell stops, the burning heat in my womb shifting back to a warmth from my own body heat and the eggs. immediately, i cling onto you, taking as much support as I can now that it won’t make the problem worse.

it doesn’t quite make the problem better, either, with the eggs in my womb still pressing down, intent on getting out, two more slipping through. but it makes it a little easier to handle, even as I whine and clench down as hard as I can.

it only makes the pressure against my g spot worse, my knees shaking with each step from the pleasure and the effort combined. by the time you outright tell me to keep the eggs in, im already trying as hard as I can to. at least it seems like there’s finally no room left in my cunt for another to fit in.

i can feel how tight, how ready to snap the remnants of my clothes are, especially my pants. i don’t know what will get the last of it to tear off, but I don’t want to find out.

my entire body shakes as we keep moving, and I’m doing everything I can to not lay while also trying not to cum from the never ending pressure against my g spot—that would surely force at least one of the eggs free, and I can’t have that happening, not yet.

nine minutes. i can do that, im sure of it.

[elm-o]

'Spools'

As the spool unravels before me,

I get lost in its string,

Weeving a messy web,

I carefully premeditate my every move until im able to undo my work,

Fingers following the thin rope to detanglement,

And as i try to find myself in it all,

You and i end up in an entanglement,

My thread fed into the eyelet of your needle,

Left without the intention of ever letting go,

im tied to you,

Your sharp needle point pierces through my felt heart as you thred me into your own personal project,

Mesmerized by your shining silver,

i watch as you stab me in my knitted intestines and plush liver,

A river of stuffing leaking from my arms,

You shape me into something entirely new,

and when i can't remember who i was,

i think back to the spool i started from,

remembering the way i untangled myself to tie into your life,

You took your seam ripper and removed everything that you didn't like,

You gouged out my soulful button eyes for cold plastic beads,

You stabbed me along every seam and every lining,

You're so good at hiding your evil deeds,

Left me on my knees,

Using my plush paws to plug the wounds you've inflicted on me,

Like a loosely plugged cork in a tipped wine bottle,

While you just stand there over my cold body,

Refusing me stitches from your kit,

And it was when i felt most lost in who i am, (or who i was),

when you decided to jab the knife in my back,

Using me as nothing more than a tool for your own gain,

Looping the short strings left of me onto that spool again,

Then cuting the ties and hiding my scrap fabric away from the world so they wouldn't know you were the villan that attacked first,

Sewing in the lies of "i love you" into every fiber,

And though this experience was tragic,

I still hope one day you'll look to me to work your magic,

Your silver shining down on my velvet skin,

What ever painful project you have in mind,

I hope you can get behind using my scraps for your own use,

I can endure the abuse if it means i can tie the nuse around the neck of your needle again,

I watch you put on a show for your friends,

You pretend like your satisfied with the end,

And everyday i remember the missing parts of me,

I look down at my frayed string,

Wondering if this is just the life of a spool of thread,

Ment to be cut and left for dead in the bottom of a sewing bag,

Ment to be an object for men to use,

Luring me in,

running their fingers across my fishing line skin,

Though i love the shining of his silver,

Id like to use the last sliver of my string to knot into other things,

Needles just arent for me,

Id rather be weeved with other strings into a basket,

Colorful and painless,

Void of his stainless steel,

And we'd hold each other close and touch and feel,

Gently holding one another's soft palms in our hands,

We'd have more fun together than with any other man

[missmungoe]

I know you’re still recovering from Mnemosyne (BEAUTIFUL HEART WRENCHING AMAZING WONDERFUL WORTH-THE-WAIT CHAPTERS BTW SO GRATEFUL FOR YOUR EXISTENCE) so please don’t feel pressured b u t… if you have any snippets of the next Moon and Her Maiden chapter you feel comfortable sharing ..🥺👉👈 IM SORRY BUT THAT LAST ONE ENDED SO AMAZINGLY AND IM DYING TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

HI, please know how happy this made me, and of course I have a snippet! I'm actually very close to finishing this fic, so here's a little peek:

It comes with a price

He followed the road inland, the same path he’d walked the night she’d been taken, although this time he wasn’t searching blindly, following instead the trail of her presence, like a moonlit thread through his mind and the dark.

She’d followed the road out of the village, past the darkened windmills where they loomed, before she’d climbed one of the fences and crossed the field into the forest. If it hadn’t been for his haki, Shanks didn’t think he would have been able to follow her, with no obvious path or tracks to guide his way, and with the canopy blocking out the moon it was almost too dark for him to see.

He was starting to wonder if he should have brought a lantern when the canopy suddenly opened, allowing a shaft of moonlight to pierce it, right onto the still surface of a forest pond, and he paused in his tracks, seeing the small figure standing before it.

Her back was turned towards him, her clothes in a heap around her ankles and her slender frame outlined by the moon. It spilled over her skin, the silver spots across her shoulders apparent, and the still-pink scar where it cut like a sickle moon between her shoulder blades.

He knew she’d already sensed him coming, and saw her turn towards him where he’d emerged from the shadows of the trees into the clearing. She had her sealskin in her hands, the supple pelt shimmering like her skin.

She’d removed her kerchief, her short hair gently tousled where it brushed the tops of her cheekbones. The eyes beneath were bottomless, although for once, he couldn’t discern if the feeling in them was surprise or trepidation, finding him there. But then this wasn’t like waiting for her by the shore, his eyes shut in offering. He’d come into her realm now, eyes wide open, as brazen as the sailors from the songs, who stole the maidens of the moon for their wives.

“The old girl told me where you were,” Shanks said, and saw her brows knitting in surprise.

“Suzume-san did?”

He nodded, before he looked at the pond, and coming closer, “Going for a midnight swim?” he asked, hoping his smile might ease some of the tension that had crept between them.

Makino didn’t answer, and his heart sank, wondering if he’d overstepped when he’d kissed her in the storeroom earlier.

But looking up from the sealskin in her hands to him, it wasn’t fear he found in them, or at least not for him as Makino said, “I was going to try to change.”

Something about the way she said it struck him as odd, and frowning, he was trying to figure out what was off about it when realisation hit him, without kindness.

“You haven’t tried,” Shanks said.

She shook her head, and his heart constricted when she confessed, “I don’t know if I still can.”

The beat that followed was heavy, holding the weeks that had passed since her capture, a full moon cycle, and the nights he’d waited by the docks, hoping she’d show. He’d thought she’d been nervous about seeing him in her seal-shape, or that she wanted to wait until her stitches had healed. He hadn’t thought she’d been afraid she couldn’t do it anymore.

“Your stitches are perfect,” Makino said, dragging his eyes up from her sealskin, as though his silence had suggested that they might be the reason. “I don’t even have evidence that there’s anything wrong, I just…haven’t been able to bring myself to try.”

Her eyes lifted from her pelt to his, and the fear in them struck him as hard as it had, that moment outside her bar when the bandit had tried to slice it open. “What if I can’t?” she asked, the slight quaver in her voice making his hands clench. “I don’t know who I am without my pelt.”

His look softened.

Crooking a knuckle, Shanks tipped her chin. Her eyes were as dark as the pond, unearthly in their depth and beauty, and yet there was nothing but human feeling in them, open and vulnerable.

“You’re you,” he said. His eyes roamed her face, but for all that the fae were hailed as coy, cunning creatures, he’d never met anyone as guileless. “With or without your powers.” His thumb brushed her chin, beneath her bottom lip where it trembled. “But I understand why you’re scared. I don’t know how I’d feel if I lost something so deeply connected to who I am.”

Her eyes hadn’t let go of his, and he saw the tears brimming in them, even as she didn’t let them fall.

He watched as they lowered to the sealskin, held between them. He could see the place where the bullet had torn through it, the moonlight illuminating the scar, twin to the one on her back. He’d spent a whole day mending it, trying his best to make it as seamless as he could, but even then his stitches had left a mark.

“This is one of my favourite places,” Makino said then, looking up from her pelt to the still pond. Flowers grew thickly by the riverbank, blue forget-me-nots gleaming like stars against the mossy undergrowth, and a slender river cut through the clearing, gurgling quietly where it crawled between the stones to feed the pool where they were standing, the surface like a black mirror to the moon’s round face, although it wasn’t the one that held his eyes captive, her gentle features painted by the light.

“It’s beautiful,” Shanks said.

Her smile tilted, a little sad, and he didn’t understand why until Makino said, “I was going to bring you here.” Dark eyes met his, as gentle as her words. “To show you.”

His eyes widened, but of course―she’d mentioned a pool, that sunny day with Luffy on the docks when she’d asked him to go walking with her.

He didn’t know how he would have reacted, if the incident with the bandits had never happened, and the way she’d revealed herself to him had been here, on her own terms. And while she’d told him why she’d hidden it for so long, it said something about how much she’d trusted him even then, to want to bring him somewhere like this. Like the hidden cove, it was an offering; a part of herself shared with him that no one else had seen.

But while he couldn’t change what had happened, or make it so that her powers still worked, there was one thing he could control. Like the blindfold, he could even the balance between them; a barter, if only to put them on even ground.

“What are you doing?” Makino asked, as he shrugged off his cloak, before he reached to unbutton his shirt, until it joined it on the ground next to her clothes.

Toeing off his sandals, “Stripping,” he chirped, and her eyes sprung wide when he reached for the waistline of his pants, flashing her a rakish grin. “Fair is fair.”

Shucking them with characteristic panache, the fierce blush deepening her cheeks banished some of her otherworldliness, her beautiful features reshaping with an unmistakably human mortification as her eyes darted away from his naked body, and his cock, cheerfully erect where he’d propped his hands on his hips, but before she could object, he’d dived into the pond.

He cut the mirror surface smoothly, the freezing cold water hitting him like a thousand needles, before he resurfaced with a gasp, swearing, “Fffffucking hell, that’s cold! Oh my god, I think my balls just retreated back into my body.”

The startled laugh that blurted from her was muffled by the pelt, her cheeks fairly glowing where she’d pressed it to her face, but it couldn’t hide her grin where he found it in her eyes, as helpless as his own, seeing it.

Pushing his dripping hair back from his face, he swam towards the bank where she stood. The pool was deep enough that he was only able to stand towards the shallow edges, the middle like a black hole, sucking up the moonlight where it spilled through the branches.

Smiling, Shanks held out his hand. “Are you coming in, seal-maiden?”

He saw her eyes darting to it, indecision shaping her beautiful features, so wonderfully expressive, he still couldn’t believe she’d kept her identity a secret from him for so long, even with his eyes shut.

But they were open now, and he watched her shifting expressions hungrily, and saw when she decided, her soft mouth firming, before she drew her sealskin around her shoulders.

Then Makino placed her hand in his, and closing his fingers around it, Shanks drew her into the water.

It pulled her in, as though welcoming her, and he wondered, transfixed, how he hadn’t noticed it the time they’d gone swimming, how naturally she held herself in the water. Or rather, how unnaturally, an otherworldly grace that even a girl who’d been swimming her whole life couldn't have boasted.

Of course, there’d been other things distracting him that night, like how she’d looked in the rain, her soaked chemise clinging to her body, although looking at her now, the pale silk replaced with moonlight and her silver pelt, he was hard pressed to say which was more captivating, but then maybe it was just her.

He’d reached out before he could stop himself, his fingers brushing the pelt where it covered the top of her head, as soft as he remembered, but Makino didn’t withdraw, only let him touch it.

It dipped into her brow, and lifting it enough to bare her eyes, “You don’t have to try tonight,” Shanks said, observing her where she floated, too short for her feet to reach the bottom, but then she didn’t even need to tread water. “But if you want to, I'm the only one here.”

Makino watched him, the pelt pushed back enough to see her face, unchanged from how he knew it, but even then there was a feyness about her that left no mistake now about what she was, wrapped in water and moonlight.

He watched as her eyes slipped shut, and she seemed for a moment to retreat into herself, a calm overtaking her as she let her breath go. Shanks felt it in her presence, as still as the pond around them, not even a ripple to disturb the mirror surface.

Then her eyes opened, meeting his, and this time they were so dark they’d swallowed the white around them. And he’d seen her transform, that terrifying moment on the deck of his ship after she’d been shot, but it was something else to see her change now, not out of necessity but because she wanted it.

Her skin glowed, first silver, then a bright, brilliant white, as though she became for a moment moonlight in its purest form, illuminating the whole clearing, before she changed, her slender frame shrinking, reshaping into a figure he’d only glimpsed a few times before, in the cove and through the underwater shadows.

The brilliance dimmed, leaving her in her seal-form, the tiny, sleek creature that bore no resemblance to her human shape, even as Shanks still found her, in the dark, bottomless eyes and the way she floated in the water, and her presence, unchanged now that she wasn’t concealing herself.

He heard her voice within, the unbridled joy in it rippling through him like laughter.

It worked!

His grin widened, hearing her whooping delight within him, and his chuckle was softer than he was known for as she vanished under the surface, darting around him once, and with such breathtaking grace it left him unable to do anything but watch as she resurfaced further out, a sleek shadow, before she dived under again, and so silently she barely stirred the pond.

He felt her brush against his thigh as she circled him once, before darting between his legs, and so swiftly it took his haki just to keep track of her, and even then she was faster, as the little seal suddenly resurfaced right in front of him, the transformation releasing her, and so quickly it was only a split second before Makino was there, her voice aching with joy, “It worked!”

She threw her arms around his neck, and his eyes widened, caught so off guard he nearly forgot they were swimming.

Startled, his arms wrapped around her, the sudden and intimate contact jolting through him like he’d been shot.

His heart held, feeling her in his arms, her delicate figure flush against his and nothing but water between them, and knew she could feel his reaction, rock hard where it pressed against her, but she didn’t draw away.

Holding her, his hand shook where it spanned the sickle scar between her shoulder blades, covering it whole, and his chuckle was soft as he tucked his nose into her neck, hugging her close. She was so small, but then he knew her shape with his eyes shut, every delicate line and curve, had charted it with his hands, and found it now as he remembered, that first night on the docks, and in the cove, and his cabin.

He felt as the slender arms loosened from around his neck, and fought his instinct to pull her back, but she didn’t let go, as small hands cupped his cheeks. Water clung to his lashes, but he saw her clearly, the moonlight spilling down her body and his, and her eyes were as dark as the water, but this close, the tips of their noses brushing, Shanks found the gentler brown in them.

They slipped shut, and drawing his face down, as gently as the first time she’d done it, Makino kissed him.

Above, the moon watched them through the branches, her marble face as impassive as ever, but if she was upset with him for stealing one of her maidens, Shanks didn’t care.

And feeling the smile that shaped the soft lips under his, thought the maiden in question didn’t much mind the theft.

―

“Red-Hair?”

The deep bow made the collar around his neck fall forward, the heavy metal yielding a soft clank. “Our investigation proved fruitful, Your Excellency,” said his advisor. “We have eyewitnesses placing him in Goa that night, and he fits the description of your brother’s killer. A swordsman in a black cloak, wearing a straw hat. We did some digging, and he is apparently quite renowned. In fact…”

The rustle of paper drew his gaze, as a wanted poster was proffered, slid across the table towards him.

His eyes widened.

“One billion?”

His advisor bowed deeper. “In addition to his own deeds, he is a former crewmate of the Pirate King.”

His eyes lifted from the wanted poster, and the scarred face above the row of numbers. “Gold Roger?”

His advisor nodded. “His crew, too, is quite formidable. His first mate in particular.”

He considered Red-Hair’s wanted poster. “And he’s been here this whole time?”

Another nod. “It appears he has made a base of sorts. A port on the other side of the island. Fuschia is the name.”

“That backwater dump?” When his advisor nodded, “What does a pirate like Red-Hair want in a place like that?”

“Perhaps he is seeking to usurp the throne,” his advisor suggested. “He would not be the first pirate to attempt a coup.”

“I couldn't care less about Goa Kingdom or its so-called ruler,” said the Celestial Dragon. “But we cannot have it getting out that a pirate killed a Celestial Dragon. It would give the people ideas that just anyone can harm us, and that we can be usurped as mortal kings. We are not mortals; we are gods.”

Another deep bow, his brow nearly touching the floor. “Indeed, Your Excellency.”

Turning to the window, the dark sea looked back, and the full moon. To think that even the filthy commoners in this part of the world could see her splendour, and as clearly as they could from the Holy Land. Truly, a jest of the gods.

“Is Red-Hair still in port?” he asked, and heard him nodding when his collar shifted.

“His ship has not left, Your Excellency.”

“Good,” he said, his eyes on the full moon where she bathed on the horizon’s edge.

“See that it never does.”

[headingalaxys-spicy]

WOOO HOOO IM ANOTHER YEAR CLOSER TO DEATH AHAHAHAH.

So I’m honor of me being that fun age of ✨27✨

Just spice posts all day.

Starting with the ending storyline for Club 27- Birthday Drabble I started last year.

🌟💀The New Queen of Solar Dead 💀🌟

Enjoy guys thanks for sticking it out with this page. And yeah final warning this is a

🌶️🔥spice🔥🌶️ post

Heavy panting filled the sweltering throne room. The flames that lit the room were burning low just enough light to where you could make out his outlines. His body was built like that of a gold medal olympian. He was currently working out your insides. The muscles that were getting the most defined concentration were his broad arms that held you in place while his hips ceased flogging you from the back.

You were happy that he stopped driving himself into you. Ever since he introduced himself he immediately jumped into raw dogging you. It felt like an eternity already….and Alfred was only just getting started. Your eyes swept over the cobblestone floor hoping and praying that this ruthless dungeon was a reality you wouldn’t have to stay in. You knew this couldn’t be real. It had to be a bad dream. It just has to be!

You jerk your arms like a feral cat trying to flee captivity. To no avail your plan failed as Alfred grip held you down tight. His fingernails dug into your forearms. It caused a few thread-like scratches that drew out some blood.

“AH! STOP!” You shout out.

It was the first time you’d spoken in a while. You quickly found out that no matter how fearsome your pleas were to beg him to stop, he wouldn’t. Why would he, he was the King of Hell. He was going to do with you as he pleased. He lets out an amused chuckle and then proceeds to thrust once more into your backside.

You let out a short squeak.

He rolls his head back and lets his hands grip you tighter. Being able to control you was ecstasy. He felt the thick sexually charged air and his body was doing its best to hold back his fervor. He inhaled deeply and allowed the oxygen to fill his lungs and his chiseled abs. It was all preparation for his final move. Every muscle in his body clenched as if trying to continue to hold onto a plank position for those last few moments before you reached goal. He swiftly pulled himself out from behind and spun you around so your eyes could meet his.

All you could make out from the dim firefly glow was the lining of his lips that showcased his hungry teeth and his brightly lit red eyes that were still famished. Both desired more. So seconds, thirds, and so on would be served until stuffed.

“Hey, babe.” He purrs out to you as if the two of you were nothing more than sweet lovers.

You simply glare at him. You hated him for killing you and bringing you here just for his own amusement. Your breaths were deep and concentrated in your core like scorching magma. You wanted to fight back. You try once more to wriggle free from his tight wedding ring like grasp he had on your forearms.

Aroused and amused that you think you had any chance of breaking free he tries to ease your sorrows by drawing you in with a love drunken kiss. It reeked of longing and pent-up sexual frustration… That seemed to have been spanning a lifetime. Your hands flew for his face and you managed to get his suction cup off but only for a moment.

This angered him.

He snapped his fingers and a heated iron contraption came from the floor. It spread your legs out wide and kept them open. Metal cuffs rubbed against your upper thighs and heated them up causing sweat to glaze over your legs like a freshly buttered bread. More appetizing to the King you now found yourself eternally bound to.

He intertwined his massive calloused hands and encased your smaller ones between his giant roots from a tree settling in. He looks down on you with lustful eyes and all you could do was let out a low whimper. He kissed you on the lips again gently this time. Then whispered to them.

“I’m your King now. And I’m going to have to show you your place, my Queen.”

He hoisted you up to the searing chains that ate away at your soft skin. You let out a loud scream in agony. His desire in his cock stands at attention once more. Desire that thrived off of schadenfreude. He roughly grabbed your waist so he could hold you in place. He rubbed the tip at your entrance to run all of your senses into hundreds of brick walls.

Pleasure and pain are quite a powerful and intoxicating mix.

He began to suck at the skin on your stomach and worked his way up to your soft and supple breasts that were quaking from all of the thrashing movements. He allowed one of his hands to roam up and grope one of your mounds. You tried to yank your leg up to deliver a swift kick but the chains kept you in place. He attached his lips to the other and ran his tongue over your nipple. He pauses for a brief moment and tries not to let his aching dick release just yet. Another deep breath fills his broad chest preparing itself for its next powerful battle tactic. His teeth sink mildly into your breast and you let out a thundering yell that could probably be heard all throughout hell.

Confusion and pain flooded all of your senses, your arms felt like they were melting off and you. Only hints of pleasure popped into your brain in only momentary bursts. The pain was so intense if you could die again just to avoid it you would.

“Please….” you plead in a quivering voice.

His red eyes flicker up to meet yours as he detached himself from your chest. A lightning bolt struck your stomach and made you nervous. A grin spread wide on his face that you didn’t need a lot of light to see because of the amount of mischief that radiated from his lips. The rest of his body was ablaze with lust.

His member jolted against your entrance with a little pre-release. You wanted to slam your legs closed but simply stiffened your muscles in a feeble attempt to stop the incoming blow. The hot rod forced its way in forcing itself into your wet cavern that was writing in pain and pleasure. A disastrous mix that left you breathless.

“Ah….please …. stop ….” You say when you manage to get just enough air into your tired lungs.

Your words fell on deaf ears. He plunged himself into you to your hilt and held you there making you teeter on his cock between opposing sensations that were anxious to consume you.

He kisses your cheek gently and he commands you to shout his name when he resumes his trusting.

“If you can do that my Queen I’ll un-schalke you.” You let out a nod as you finally realized that tears had been streaming down your face.

You whimper out a weak okay.

He brings a hand to your chin and brings you into a French kiss. His tongue wrapped tightly around yours. You feel your arms suddenly fall back down only to collapse on his brawny shoulders. They cling to him for support.

He parts from the kiss he revs himself up and begins to thrust.

“Sing my name y/n! Sing it so loudly the screams of pleasure make it all the way to the ears of heaven!”

A moan at first was all you could manage. But you think of how things could be worse if you didn’t sing for him like a morning bird hyped up on caffeine.

“Ahh…Ahh.. Alfred!” You blurt out in a huff.

“Louder my Queen, that was a little pathetic.”

“ALFRED! AH! AH! !” His pacing began to get faster while his cock got fatter from all the pent up tension building from the passion. Your struggle to say his name appeased Alfred just enough. He was reaching the end of his tread anyways.

“Oh Queen Y/N you’re going to be a great ruler and wife.” He continues to bounce you up and down on his throbbing member that finally burst its seal and milky white spilled everywhere. He threw his head back and moaned out your name he had reached his cloud nine pleasure. It took him a few minutes to ride out his orgasm while you were hardly keeping conscious in his strapping arms that were shimmering with sweat.

He sealed your lips with his as you still struggled with his member. He trails a few kisses on your neck and leading on down your breasts he lingers there for a while causing you to moan but also continue to shake in agony. The chains are still hot against your wrists. Your arms had been disfigured and recreated by the lava like embers. Your once clear skin now had ancient writing that looked like lace but had thick strokes like it was etched in barbarically.

Alfred’s claiming curse.

You suck in another sharp breath as you suddenly feel your arms drop onto a soft silk surface. The rest of your body followed suit. You felt a wave of relief wash over you. You were happy to not be sewn into the wall while your insides were being filled to the brim.

You allowed your eyes to close for you knew that nothing you’d say would convince a Demon King to let you go.

Alfred allows his body to hover over you hauntingly. He lowers his head and allows his lips to linger close to the nape of your neck and give you a hickey. He moves to the other side of your neck and bare his large fangs and digs them in deep into your soft and sweaty flesh.

Your eyes shoot open at the intense intrusion of enamel into your flesh. The flood that had begun to pour out as if holding back an ocean. You could feel hot blood rush down your back. Your face scrunched in pain while you began to notice you felt as light as a feather.

Alfred licked the bite area clean after sucking up as much blood from your neck as he could.

He looked at your half lidded eyes that were unconcentrated. He gives a small chuckle and an award winning smile appears on his face. He grabs right below his curse mark that is on your wrists and whispers softly to you. You could feel the intense heat that radiated off of his toned body.

“Welcome to your new reality Y/N where you’ll always be beneath me. Now, let's go get cleaned.” He picks you up and leads you to his grand bathing room where he’ll clean your wounds and pamper you for the rest of the night. He knows full well that you won’t recover from this encounter for a while.

As he ran the bath into his coal black tub no thoughts really passed through your subconscious. You were unsure of what to do. You simply looked down at your bare feet and concentrated on the Stygian marble floor that had elongated cracks of silver and gold that trailed through the wide room flowing up the walls. You let your mind wander as it couldn’t hear the rushing water fill the room with steam and intoxicating fragrances like fresh lavender, bergamot, and sea salt.

‘Perhaps I’m lucid dreaming right? I have to be. No way in hell any of this is real. Or I have lost my mind. I really have…but why did that feel so real. That sex really did feel real.’

The demon watches you glide your feet back and forth as you swing your legs on the elegant window seat that overlooks one of the volcanoes that America controlled. The scarlet, violet, navy, and dusky sky blended together to make up the sky of the Solar deadzone. The smog that consumed the sky that night and your mind wouldn’t be going away. It would linger in the corner of your mind like an impervious tar.

Alfred walks over to you and hoists you up into his strong arms. It was the first time that you actually got to look at his face. Black hair hung low in his eyes that were now a dark cobalt hue and it had a heavy contrast with his pale skin. He had an ever present from on his face that showed off his K9’s. So of your own blood still on the surface of his pearly whites.

He stepped into the 4 feet deep bathtub that looked like a chasm with a few lights that shined through the darkened water and bubbles that overflowed at the surface. You couldn’t help but be dazzled by the monochrome orbs of soap that distracted you from your grim fate you’d been assigned to.

You descended into the heated water that instantly calmed your overstressed muscles.

A sigh leaves you and a smile spreads on Alfred's face as he allows his long thin tail to wrap around your thighs he grabs a loofah and begins to scrub off the dry blood on your back.

Silence and the sloshing of water continued for the rest of the night in dim candlelight. Once done some servants brought libations and snacks for the King and Queen of the Solar Dead Zone. This is the first full night of Queen (Y/N).

[lazulian-devil]

The bells of winter

I found another prompt I fucked around with and Im sure whoever wrote it meant something entirely different by it, but I dont care :p Enjoy!

Part 1 about a retiring pirate

(3K characters)

-----------

It had been an incredibly cold winter that left the wood half frozen when you brought it in the house. The ice crawled onto the windows, the snow sat in front of the doors and your breath was like cigarette smoke, hurting all the same in your throat and lungs. I didnt quite like it, but then again, nobody did.

It was a slow kind of terror that came with the wind, but decided to stay and wander our village. We hadnt invited it but none of us knew how to make it leave. And it was followed by all its children: Fear of hunger. Of freezing. Of pain. Of being unable to repair what would inevitably break under the ice pressure. Fear of loosing someone. Of loosing everyone. No amount of mittens, coats, hats, lined trousers and shoes could safe you from a cold that would freeze your beard if you didnt cover it. Or snowblind your eyes if you went out for too long. As I said. I didnt quite like it.

But I remember vividly the small green something that had broken through the snow in february. Everything was still so white, every step making that distinct crunching noise I never quite knew to put in words, my mittens more hole than cloth. But there it was, like a wound in the snow. Vivid. Green. Alive. Surrounded on all sides by slumbering trees and bushes. And the endless, all swallowing white of the world. The small blade of green had pushed away the snow around it, piercing through the blanket with more vigor and hope than I had felt in the last weeks. I didnt want to believe it yet. I didnt want to be hopeful. I had been, a few times before. When the elders told of the feelings in their bones, when a few birds came looking for seeds in our barn, when Maria finished spinning her threads of wool and started knitting me the itchiest and yet warmest sweater yet, so I could finally make the journey to Rivan without freezing to death. But all that hope had died on me not shortly after. The bones of the elders didnt mean anything when the storm hit. The birds were eaten. And Rivan was just as barren as our village. Nobody wanted to trade except for the children. They needed new knucklebones for their games. Something I at least could provide them with.

So, looking at that green wonder growing next to my trampled paths in the snow, I closed the door again and tried to forget about it. There were always outliers. It wasnt warm enough yet. How could it be.

By the next day, there were seven of them. Tiny knives, stabbing the snow. Soon enough, the first one I had found grew another blade and another, until a small blossom stretched itself towards the sun, its head opening up to a beautiful white bell, hanging and swaying in the wind. "Snowdrops." Maria said at the door and I agreed, a stack of firewood in my hand. Then she hushered me inside. The wind shouldnt get in after all.

And then, by the day, there were more. First a handful. Then a few dozen. Then hundreds. They grew wherever we hadnt trampled the snow down, always in bundles of four or five, as if they were holding on to one another when the winds came to shake the white bells they had for heads. I wondered if the other plants could hear them chime. "Look." They were saying to all the slumbering seeds under ground. "It will be over soon."

I agreed, reluctantly. Cautiously. My trust in the sun had been shaken a little too much. But I continued on regardless. And soon, when the snow started melting, leaving a patchwork of dirt and white and grass behind, things changed again. By the time the last snow drops blossomed in March, they were accompanied by others that had followed their call.

I wish I could have preserved them. But then again, I wouldnt need to look at them in summer, when everything is still green or in autumn, when everything is color. They are, all things concidered, quite boring little flowers. But when the timing is just right, they are the most beautiful thing you have ever seen.

[redemptionofthefallen]

hey there...its me again....

hello, remember when i said i was going to get onto replies and start being productive? 

im so sorry i didn’t deliver that after like a week of saying that. 

ive been trying to reply to them, but once i get to starting i get all insecure and overwhelmed and its all stupid because i know everyone has been so patient and kind to me so its alright but the ants crawling under my skin wont stop DX 

i took a long hard look rather i wanted to take a hiatus, stop completely, or keep rp in my life. 

i have decided i still want to rp, i still love all of you and i want to interact. im not ready to give it up yet or if i ever will be able to give it up. 

so this is what i have decided to do, i want to start over. 

i am going to tag every single one of you that i have a thread with and im going to treat this like a starter call. 

LIKE THIS POST IF YOU STILL WANT TO RP WITH ME AND IS WILLING TO START A NEW THREAD WITH ME! 

cause i wanna clear all of my threads out and start from scratch. 

the only ones that will take an exception of this clean wipe is those i have only replied once or twice to. such threads belong to: 

@thuganomxcs, @the-rovarians, @chiisaikintsukuroi, and  @hortussecretum

to those i tagged above i need you to give me a like and/or comment to see if you want to continue the thread we have going or start over as well. 

to the rest of the rp partners i tag: 

@occupationallyhazardous, @little-yugi-muto-rp, @systemadministratorclu, @toranoya, @arrowablaze, @miss-pieck-finger, @multifandoms27-blog, @redeyesblackjou, and @verratensduo

i need you to like and/or comment on this post to let me know that you are willing to drop the current thread we have and start a new one from scratch.

to those who like and/or comment on this post i will personally come to you via ask box or IM to discuss how you want to go about the new thread and anything you want to discuss with me. 

if you do not like and/or comment on this post i will assume after a week that you do not want to continue a thread with me. if this is the case i will completely understand and i will hold no ill will. i just want to give you the option given im clean slating everything. just know i enjoyed it while it lasted and i appreciated you giving me a chance and being so gracious with me during this hard time ive been having. 

everyone here has been so nice and caring and i just want you guys to know that i means the WORLD to me that you guys are so awesome ^^ 

i still have a busy life however, so even though im doing this i may still be slow at responding to them. but i feel in this way, maybe i need to just start over and see if that helps me ^^ but if you decide to continue with me then i will tell you i will give it my best to work with you and give it another try ^^ 

thank you to all who read to the end and i hope you have a great day ^^ 

Forever grateful, Garnet  

[tinylilvalery]

Nandermo shippers: omg the djinn gave Nandor a few more wishes! He can still fix things with his relationship with Guillermo!

Me, a Colin Robinson lover: Nandor can use a wish to bring Colin Robinson as we knew him back from the dead from his last point of existence! He'd get to keep his character development that he got over the first three seasons! He'd get to keep his relationship development that he had with the others, most importantly Laszlo! None of it would be all just thrown away like it has been! We'd get Colin back! THIS is how Colin Robinson enjoyers can still win-

[oddaodd]

· Nice Things ·

Summary: Charlie snaps at Y/n and Tommy feels guilty. 

Author’s Note: This completely materialized itself in my mind a few hours ago, so here you have it, another angsty arranged marriage fic on me. 

Warnings: arranged marriage

·

“I don’t want to eat them”

“Well you have to eat them, they are good for you” Y/n insisted for what seemed like the thousand time, but Charlie’s unwillingness to eat his vegetables didn’t falter.

Y/n grasped onto the bit of patience that she had left after putting up with Charlie’s sullen mood for the majority of the day after he had a particularly lousy violin lesson. She didn’t know how much longer her patience would last so she resorted to a harmless threat that she assumed would compel the boy to eat.

“If you don’t eat them you’ll be grounded tomorrow”

But her threat didn’t have the desired effect and Charlie sent Y/n a poisonous stare.

“I don’t care what you say, you are not my mum so you can’t ground me!”

Time froze as Y/n processed the words the boy had just spat at her, shock and hurt evident in her face. Charlie either didn’t notice or didn’t care about the consequence of his words because he got up from his chair and dramatically exited the room immediately after throwing them at Y/n.

She wanted to get up and yell at him to stay, to make him know that he couldn’t talk to her like that, but she felt to sad to do so, so she just let him leave.

“Shall I take away Charles’s plate miss” asked a maid in a timid voice.

Y/n nodded before standing up “Mine too, please.“

She left the room with bloodshot eyes and headed for the garden hurriedly. She was so focused on not letting her tears spill till she was I’m complete solitude that she nearly crashed against Tommy as he stepped out of his car. The moment he saw her eyes he felt a strange strain of sadness, he wanted to ask her what was wrong, but she pushed past him without a word.

He stared at her for a moment as she walked into the garden, wondering what had happened before going into the house and asking Frances about it.  

Y/N lit a cigarette and began roaming around the well kept flowerbeds, smiling weakly at the beauty of each bloom and leaf. She felt embarrassed that Tommy had seen her like that, not that she thought he would care, but still, she had never allowed herself to cry in front of him. Not when he coldly dismissed her every attempt to get closer to him, not when she felt agonizingly alone in his big house and not even when he kissed her passionlessly on their wedding day before signing a business arrangement with her family.  

Ever since she had moved into the house she had tried everything to make it feel like a home, to feel she belonged there somehow. She got along great with Charlie and the rest of Tommy’s family, which helped the burn of his cold demeanor not to hurt that much, but now she couldn’t get Charlie’s words out of her head and she felt pretty much as she did the first night she slept in the house. Alone and miserable.

When the sky turned dark and the air grew cold Y/n went into the house and up to the bedroom she shared with Tommy, not stopping at Charlie’s door to kiss him goodnight.

When she entered her room she was surprised to see Tommy sitting on their bed, smoking a cigarette. He was never in bed that early, but she didn’t let her surprise show and made her way to the bathroom avoiding his stare.

Tommy knew Y/n was a smart, kind and beautiful woman, one that any man would be lucky to call wife. Even Polly had told him so during his wedding party. And even despite not wanting to admit it, Y/n’s smile was contagious, and it pained him when it faltered at his usual curtness. Tommy hated that he knew it was breaking her. She didn’t deserve his indifference nor Charlie’s harmful comments.

He admired her through the ajar bathroom door as she went through her nightly routine which was something he had never cared to be around to witness, since he always procured to not be in the room until she was asleep. Her usual happy aura was replaced with a sad one and Tommy could swear he saw a few tears rolling down her reflection on the mirror as she delicately removed her makeup.

He could still hear Pollys words in his head “You better treat her right, she deserves it”

He had to make it right.

Y/n exited the bathroom and walked around the bed giving Tommy a brief smile before laying down, facing the opposite side.

“I spoke to Charles” he said after a few beats of silence.

Y/n hummed too exhausted to thread a verbal response.

“He won’t ever talk to you like that again and..”

Y/n’s shoulders shook softly at his words. The wound was still too fresh. Tommy sighed sadly, his emotions catching up to him for he knew she wasn’t crying just because of what Charlie had said.

He scooted closer to her and snaked his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him hoping he hadn’t been to late to try and make things better.

Y/n felt the already tight knot in her throat tighten even more at Tommys rare tender act of affection. It was the first time he had ever done something of the sort and in Y/n’s emotional state, the importance of it increased significantly.

“Im sorry, Y/n” he spoke honestly, near her ear.

“Its not your fault” she said as her hand hesitantly went to hold onto Tommy’s arm, sinking into his embrace. Warm and welcoming and just what she needed.

“Yes it is, I am a shit husband and you’ve been nothing but nice, I am not used to nice things. I know you deserve so much better than this, and I’ll be better”

At his confession, turned around and looked into his blue eyes though her teary ones. They seemed honest and Y/n knew he meant what he said.

Tommy then took her hand and brought it to his lips pressing a kiss to it causing butterflies to swarm Y/n’s insides “I promise”

Y/n smiled at him weakly and brought her hand to his cheek tenderly, her thumb softly caressing tommy’s skin, something she had never gotten the chance to feel before.

“I know” she said before snuggling closer to him, feeling welcome in Tommy’s warm embrace for the very first time.

·

@captivatedbycillianmurphy @peakyxtommy @nyotamalfoy @writeroutoftime @babylooneytoonz

[a-jynx]

Dream; - usually really aware when you guys plan date nights! Even with his busy schedule, he’s on top of remembering important nights - he doesn’t want you to feel neglected or forgotten :’) - however he can get forgetful when he’s playing with Sap and George, or streaming, but when he does oh, he feels devastated and will definitely become clingy

[Short imagine]

12:30 PM - he’d forgotten. You sighed, closing your phone and slouching into the couch, listening to your boyfriend’s laughs echo throughout your shared home; Sapnap’s screams filtering through as well.

Frowning, you turned on the living room TV and turned on Netflix, deciding that a movie would take away from the small sting in your gut. You knew he hadn’t meant to get sucked up into his work, and this one time of a few that he’d forgotten, but that doesn’t stop the sadness twisting in your gut. Turning on the Twilight series, and obviously horrible but entertaining favorite [team Jacob anyone?] before grabbing your warmed-up Panda Express and engrossing yourself into the world of vampires and werewolves.

2:45 AM

Dream groaned as his screen flashed a dull red, congratulating George and Sap about their win from their Minecraft Manhunt; 2 hunters. Glancing at the time, he rubbed at his face and clicked out of everything, ending his video. Stretching he leaned back and glanced towards the bed, expecting you to already be cuddled up and passed out, but the comfy queen was empty…

Furrowing his brows, he scooted his chair back and left his room, moving downstairs as Sap came out of his room, still grinning.

“Hey man, nice hunt, though I’m surprised you made it go for so long,” Sap groaned as he joined Dream on the stairwell making the dirty blonde frown.

“What’re you talking about? Manhunts always go for a couple of hours?” Dream snorted as Sap frowned, only to sigh and pat his friend on the shoulder.

“Dude… You had date night tonight..?”

Dream’s eyes widened as he rushed further downstairs, turning into the living room and frowning at the sight. You curled up into the corner, an empty container on the coffee table and the credits rolling of The Twilight Saga; new moon. Squatting down next to you, he gently cradled your cheek as you hummed in sleep, cracking open your eyes as you broke into a smile, your eyes settling on your frowning boyfriend.

“Hiya handsome,”

“Hi, baby… Fuck, I’m so sorry I forgot,” Dream leaned into you, pressing soft kisses to your cheeks, nose, chin, lips - anywhere his lips could reach as you chuckled, raising your hand and threading it through his hair. “I just got so lost in the video, but that’s no excuse I promise I’ll make it up to you-”

“Dream, babe it’s okay, this is like… The first time you’ve forgotten, just don’t make it a full-time thing, yeah?” You laughed as Dream dove into you, circling your waist with his arms and picking you up, causing you to yell out.

“Clay!”

“We’re going to bed, and I’m not letting you go until I see fit,” Dream stated, carrying you upstairs as you glanced to Sapnap, waving to him before you and your still disappointed boyfriend disappeared into his room.

Sapnap - he’s definitely more forgetful than Dream, but he tries okay? - a lot more clingy when he realizes what he did, definitely becomes more of a hopeless romantic

[Short imagine]

“Shouldn’t you be gone by now?” You turned away from the fridge, seeing Dream entering from the living room as you shrugged, closing it with a sigh.

“Yeah, we should’ve left half an hour ago but he joined Karl’s stream… Again.” You mumbled the last bit as Dream frowned, leaning against the cabinets as you messed with the strings of your boyfriends’ basketball shorts.

“Aren’t you gonna say something?”

“Honestly? Probably not, I mean we’ve already had a talk about if he forgets-” you paused when a sudden crash came from upstairs, causing you and Dream to turn towards the stairs as Sap came barreling down. You blinked as he stood in front of you, wrapping his arms around your waist and tucking his face into the crook of your neck, making you giggle.

“Hi, bubs,”

“I’msorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimhorribleicantbelieveiforgotimsosososorry-” Sap mumbled into your skin, as you reached up, ruffling his hair as he pressed kisses along your neck, going along your shoulder before trailing back up and pressing his lips against your chin before settling back between your shoulder and throat.

Dream snickered from next to you guys as he dug into the fridge, digging out some pizza from lunch as Sap looked up and glared at his friend. “So, what reminded you?” The dirty blonde hummed, getting ready for his dinner as your brunette boyfriend scoffed.

“I obviously reminded myself! I’m not that-” he paused as a chime came from his shorts’ pocket causing him to cringe. Furrowing your brows, you reached in and tugged out his phone, breaking into a smile as you realized it was an alarm.

‘ Date Night Idiot!’ had been going off for an hour, you assuming Sap had snoozed it, not realizing why his alarm was going off.

“Dumb.. Okay! I had to set a few reminders,” Sap mumbled, pressing more kisses to your warmed skin, trying to hide away from his embarrassment. You closed his phone and slipped it back into his pocket before grabbing his hand and tugging him upstairs with you, his head hung low as you went into his room, besides a small light from his screen. You jumped onto his bed, opening your arms as Sap shot you a small grin and dove into you, cuddling into your chest and pressing more kisses to your free skin, his hand sneaking up your shirt just resting against your skin, rubbing his thumb across your navel while smiling into your kiss.

“I know I’m extremely forgetful when it comes to romantic stuff, but please always know that I love you even if I have a shitty way of showing it,” he mumbled against your lips, moving his hand from your stomach to your face, holding your cheek as you stared at each other. Sure, you could be upset at him, you could ignore him, maybe argue… But why miss out on warm cuddles and make-up kisses?

Karl - he’s the one who usually makes the dates up! He always tries to make sure his streams and recording don’t overlap the days you agreed on - but who says you always remember?

[Short imagine]

It was the long-awaited shock & facecam stream! You had promised to follow in your friend’s - George, Sap, and Dream’s - steps in a shock stream and even threw in a facecam if your followers had gotten one of your posts to hit one million likes, and your fans did not disappoint! Your tweet promising this stream had hit two million likes, 10,506 retweets, and continuous replies. So, here you were, setting up for your stream when Karl walked in…

“Sweetness..? What’re you, uh, what’re you doing..?” He nervously giggled as he stood beside you, his hands nervously tugging on your hoodie as you turned towards him, frowning.

“I’m getting ready for the shock stream? Remember? I planned this a couple months ago and we agreed on today?” You blinked at your boyfriend. You both had talked about this stream since you arranged the day - why is it suddenly a problem?

“Oh, well, remember we agreed that today - tonight - was going to be date night? We were gonna watch some of the new season of Survivor?” Karl hummed as you blinked, turning fully towards him with your eyes wide as you glanced towards your starting soon screen. You could feel your heart plummet into your stomach - you had done the one thing you and Karl agreed to never do, yet here you were..

“Baby, oh my god, I’m- holy shit, I’m so sorry,” you murmured, rubbing your face as Karl shot you a small grin, scooting closer and musing your hair as you leaned into his touch, cradling your own face with dread coursing through you.

“Bubs, it’s okay, I know you’ve been planning this, and I should’ve thought ahead-”

“No!” You burst, gripping his wrist and pressing light kisses to it before groaning against his skin. “No, it’s not okay, we always try and plan for us to have date nights between our busy schedules and it’s such an asshole thing for me to not double-check that it was-” Karl leaned down, quieting you with pressing his lips to yours. You melted into it as he turned your chair to face him more, causing him to grip your hands tightly in his before pulling away.

“It’s okay because I want you to go through with this stream! You’ve been excited about it and I know the guys are wanting to join, besides-” he paused, pressing butterfly-like kisses to your hands as you grinned at your boyfriend.

“Date night can be any night for us,”

“So, what I’m hearing is you love me more than Survivor?” You giggled as Karl furrowed his brows and scoffed, dropping your hands dramatically before pulling his gaming chair next to yours as you began to set up your facecams’ final touches.

“I love you, like a lot, but know your boundaries, Bubs,” Karl scoffed as you rolled your eyes, leaning over and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek and clicking through your screens before popping up on your stream with a ‘Hey guys!’

~~~

helloooo~ long time no writing and im so sorry about that - life has gotten a little crazy and I sort of lost motivation to write a lot again. i hope these headcanons and my future idea for some can hold you over until I have some sort of - lack of better word - motivation :'D

until tomorrow, i hope you have a beautiful day ~ J

[yoshkeii]

"𝚂𝚎𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚎."

࿐ character(s): Daishou Suguru, Atsumu Miya, Sakusa Kiyoomi

࿐ genre: angst (to fluff)

࿐ type: headcanons (hcs)

࿐ requested: yes, as a continuation of  "𝚄𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚍.”

⌦ male!reader (he/him)

⌦ mentions ; cheating (atsumu’s), angst to fluff (sakusa)

⌦ they all have different scenarios, so its best to check out the first post for a little more context.

A/N: never expected to make a part two, but i guess the feedback said otherwise. its been awhile since ive written anything, so i may be rusty, disregard mistakes too please-

𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙴 ; this is queued. i am still on my hiatus.

𝙳𝚊𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞:

→ ever since the argument, you had left. taking majority of what was yours and what you could in the quickest of matters. you and Daishou barely talked or interact within those days. often dead silence within the shared home... or rather what was shared.

→ it was quite suffocating as well, leaving each other after a long relationship you both committed to. but you had a gut feeling it would end unfortunately.

→ Daishou had seen you leave for the last time past the front door. only exchanging a blunt “bye.” before disappearing behind the solid door. he really hoped this was all lies and games, but it wasn’t. he knew this was real, he knew this will be his reality. without you. the fading steps signaled that you were not gonna look back.

→ since then, he hasn’t heard of you since. he hasn’t seen your name around social media and only the bittersweet memories of when his friends would bring you up came into mind.

→ but it was like, you erased him from your world. and yet Daishou still held tight of the cut thread that lead to you. the other end laying flat onto the floor as the other end you had, disappeared as a whole. a huge gap between you both.

→ him being in denial, he kept mainly to himself. 

→ the old shared space felt empty. drastically different every time he would come home. he would hear your welcoming voice that made his whole body so warm and fuzzy, but now, the silence was painful and cold as he stepped inside his so called ‘home’. he didn’t know why...

→ but he really wanted you back. he wanted to see your face no matter when he came home. he missed your whole presence. he yearned for something that he could’ve kept if he would just shut up.

→ Daishou didn’t expect to see you here. at the same party he would be invited to, he watched you from the second floor that had the view of the merged rooms of the living room and kitchen. seeing you laugh and smile with two other friends who you stumbled upon, the sight made his heart sting.

→ a sharp stab straight through his chest, only thinking if he could be the reason for that smile. that laughter. oh he envied it.

→ he tried to avert his thoughts away before he heard some whistles and calling of names, to see your figure slip away with someone else from the crowd.

→ watching you both from his higher position, he noticed your hands intertwined with the other. his own hand slightly clenching the daring drink he held, the other grasping the rail tighter the longer he watched.

→ Daishou’s eyes soon looked up at your face. the expression you had made him feel conflicted.

→ the wide pure smile you had accompanied with the deep flush, made him feel that oh so familiar feeling. but knowing he wasn’t the cause of it pained him.

→ although, seeing you with someone deserving made him feel at ease. but the stabbing dagger in his heart laid there still, only reminding him that he could’ve been that better person.

𝙰𝚝𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚞:

→ after the confrontation, you and Atsumu had split ways of course. it was difficult to move on and realize the situation at hand, to the both of you.

→ seeing where your stuff would be gone in the shared space made it surprisingly empty and less... alive. the whole place felt dead and empty, like a home left abruptly without an obvious reason of why.

→ but Atsumu knew why, and it began to nag at him. it made him feel so guilty to do that to you. to him, you were so pure, kind, and oh so nice. he could go on about your looks too, he really could. but every thought of you made his mind so hazy and clouded with distraught. 

→ why did he cheat? you were loyal to him- if only he could be too.

→ its been a couple years since then, it was tough for Atsumu. he had cut ties for who he was cheating with, regretting what he did and in hopes to regain you back before- didn’t obviously work. so now he stayed alone in the home that practically mocked him of his decision. 

→ he was quite surprised Atsumu wasn’t blocked by you throughout social media etc. but he didn’t dare to strike a conversation and laid idle as he saw you occasionally appear on his feed. 

→ seeing you mention being in relationship but only giving vague hints and images, truly never revealing who to your followers. 

→ sighing as he slipped his phone into his pocket, he didn’t want to think about it all, so he decided to pay a visit to Osamu at his restaurant. to his twin’s dismay.

→ arriving there fairly quickly he waved at his brother who was behind the counter cleaning up for the night, seeing his twin wave back slightly before continuing on whatever he was doing.

→ Atsumu couldn’t help but noticed the metallic object that wrapped around Osamu’s ring finger. 

→ “..’Samu? What’s on yer’ hand?”

→ “Oh- ya noticed already. I got engaged not so long ago, or recently.”

→ curiosity jabbing at the blonde made him eagerly question again.

→ “I- What?? By who!? ‘Samu ya didn’t even tell me you were in a relationship!” Atsumu could only just whine, knowing his brother didn’t share with him about his personal life after highschool. 

→ “Shut up ‘Tsumu.. Don’t be so loud in my restaurant or I’ll kick yer ass out of here!”

→ “..but do you still wanna know?”

→ Osamu seeing his twin nod with anticipation made him sigh, knowing this wouldn’t end too well. “Well.. me and [Name] are getting married. Just got engaged with him two days ago.”

→ “..[Name]..?” Atsumu could only repeat the familiar name, his voice faint but still audible to his brother’s ears.

→ he couldn’t believe it. his brother... and.. 

→ “W-well-! That’s.. nice for both of ya, haha..” the blonde tried to played off, hoping that the wavering of his voice didn’t catch his attention but, Osamu already knew, simply playing along as the conversation continued and slowly shifted off to something else.

→ Atsumu had left the place rather quickly than he originally intended to stay- but he didn’t expect it. he didn’t expect you being engaged with his twin, eventually knowing you’ll see each other soon.

→ he didn’t know how to feel about this. he was happy for both of you- but- he wasn’t over you. although it has been more than two years, he wasn’t. he missed you, he yearned to see you again. he wanted to hear your laughter and giggles, your voice overall. he wanted to see you smile, he wanted to see your handsome face. 

→  he wanted... you back. but he knows he can’t have you. not anymore.

𝚂𝚊𝚔𝚞𝚜𝚊:

→ when you left passed the front door, you hadn’t come back after a few minutes. and it was.. raining. pretty badly.

→ having worry built up in his stomach that soon turned into a mixture of anxiety made him feel uneasy, overthinking the situation and words he said to you earlier made him choke on his actions. 

→ snapping out of the trance, he rushed to go grab a coat to slip on. retrieving his phone. hurrying out the front door hoping to find you haven’t gotten too far already, almost slipping down some steps of the apartment building on the way to find you.

→ the rushing anxiety continue to flow through him, making his movements more loose and clumsy as he ran off to find you. calling out your name aimlessly of the darkened rainy streets. not caring that his curls were getting soaked in the pounding rain, he just wanted to find you. 

→ to find you and keep you safe.

→ Sakusa’s heart kept increasing every moment he didn’t see you. he wanted to find you so bad- this anxiety he had was much worse than when around he was in crowds, this one felt more instinctual.

→ forgetting he had brought his phone, he slipped it out of his pocket quickly dialing and calling you. to find you answering on the second ring.

→ “..h-hello-?”

→ “[Name]..! T-thank god your safe.”

→ the slight mess-up Sakusa slurred with his words made you feel slightly worried, “..yes I am safe. what’s up with you??”

→ “Nothing..! But w-where are you?”

→ “I’m.. at a nearby cafe. Are you sure you-”

→ your boyfriend interrupted you quickly, “I’m on my way.”

→ “H-hey..! Don’t just-”, hearing the call end with singular beep, “aaaand.. he hung up..” you decided to look around from your position outside, grasping your phone nervously. realizing the rain was pounding down much harder than earlier.

→ the sound of the familiar voice calling your name from the distance caught your attention, gazing over to see Sakusa running over towards you. 

→ “S-saku-”

→ jumping lightly at the sudden hug he enveloped you, muttering soft rushed apologies over and over again as he hid his drenched face in the crook of your neck. he had continued his rambles of apologies as you hugged him back, rubbing his back lightly. watching the ravened hair male let it out a little longer before you could mutter reassuring words to him back.

→ the tension slowly rising from his muscles but the hold of his hug didn’t falter at all, only continuing to snake around your waist.

→ “..you scared me..” “...im really sorry, babe.”

→ you lifted your gaze to meet Sakusa’s, lifting your hands up to cup his face. brushing a few strands of hair away from his view sending a quick peck onto his lips. “you don’t need to apologize anymore Omi. you did enough already..”

→ “A-and you’re drenched! Baby, you’re gonna get sick-” you blinked, noticing how flat his hair was from the rain that couldn’t reach you both from the small roof over the entrance of the cafe. 

→ “..i-i’ll be fine..” the soft stutter Sakusa made noted he was embarrassed about the thought, “..i’m glad your the one not gonna be sick though.” he muttered before softly pecking your lips.

→ “Honey..” you sighed, taking your hands in his before heading inside the building. “..lets just get something to drink to warm us up, ‘kay? then we can head back.”

→ “I-m.. paying aren’t I-..”

→ “Yes. Yes you are. A treat after a bad tiring day!”

→ “..you just want sweets-”

→ “Shut it Kiyoomi.”

[softboyluvr]

just friends

cedric diggory x female!reader

warnings: angst (ish???), intentional lower caps, that’s all tbh

very few could say they knew someone for forever, someone that knew their weaknesses and helped turn them into strengths. though they, they were the lucky ones. or unlucky ones, depending on who you asked. cedric and her had been inseparable the moment their parents introduced them when they were children.

from then on she always had someone to pick her up when she fell off the swings, a shoulder to cry on and someone who listened unconditionally when it seemed like the voices drowned her. she was lucky to have him.

she brought out the best in him. everyone expected him to be everything all the time, but with her he could be vulnerable. he felt like he could breathe when she was near. he had to see her fall in love with some of the guys in the castle, and then be there for her when it all fell through. he was just never that lucky to have her. at least not completely, she had the best of his moments. when in fourth year his friends teased him for never having had his first kiss she was the one to pull him in by his jersey after winning the first game of the quidditch season, the light drizzle sticking to their hair and making the whole thing seem like a dream to him. she had his first dance at their first ever ball. and most of all she had his heart hanging off a thread on her pinky finger, yet he was never lucky enough to have her completely.

he was resigned actually, no longer eager for the next time she came running to his arms after she realized the last guy wasn’t what she wanted, much less deserved. an eagerness that he knew was wrong and completely selfish but he couldn’t seem to deny. he liked being the guy that lit her those vanilla candles she loved so much and held her through the night.

he didn’t know what deity he had to thank for putting them together in every single class for the past six years. but there he was, letting her draw some sort of happy face kaleidoscope on his hand as he just looked at her with some stupid grin he could never wipe off when they were together. looking at how the tip of her tongue stuck out in concentration and then down to the crystal hanging around her neck. remembering how one saturday she just dragged him to the lake to look for crystals. one of the last days of the summer, the morning sun keeping them warm but not sticky with sweat. the wildflowers around them made the air sweet and the soft swishing of the water in the river filled up their comfortable silence making everything perfect. if he were asked what he thought heaven was like he would think that’s the closest it could ever get. or maybe it was all perfect because he was with her.

he wasn’t surprised when she had to bring him back from his daze and put him to work on the potion slughorn had just spent the last 10 minutes explaining. he was eager to finish brewing the concoction, amortentia was one of their biggest projects of the year. but that was not what motivated him to finish it, neither was it finding out what he was going to smell. he knew exactly what his heart desired, and was not surprised when he smelled vanilla, soft rain and wildflowers. his eagerness was to discover what she was going to describe the potion to smell like. he hoped her heart’s deepest desires pointed towards him like a compass pointing north. he was about to ask when hermione granger, somehow managing to take classes above her level, turned around and asked herself.

he pretended to write some notes on his notebook when he was really waiting for anything that would hint at her fancying him the way he wished she would.

“we must’ve fucked it up because it smells like nothing” and she snorted like it was the funniest thing ever. their conversation carried but he was no longer interested on any sort of gossip the griffindoor carried. he knew the potion had worked, so either she was sick and her nose was all messed up or just didn’t fancy anyone at all. she could’ve also been lying, was it for his sake? did she just not want to share any more fragments of her love life with him and she decided to lie about this to keep some secrecy? was it someone he knew? was it one of their friends? had he introduced her to them?

class ended and the day flew by, whenever she asked about his change in demeanor he brushed her off with a smile and assured her it was all fine, “just tired ‘s all”

he wanted to go down to his room and read, alone, as soon as the school day was over. but he had promised to go with her to this tree they always hung out in when the day was nice. she was talking about things she had noticed throughout the day and when he zoned back into the conversation their tree was closer than he realized and she was talking about potions class.

“i swear i was keeping an eye out for you. i was worried you were sick because someone had slipped some amortentia on your water or something. i mean im surprised no one did” and she sat down leaning on the trunk of the tree. “anyways you never did tell me what it was your heart’s deepest desires were. or who is it that that is for that matter” she was taking some colored pencils out and it seemed like the whole thing was humorous to her. but the question had struck him, she was lying back in class.

she had taken his silence as a cue to keep her chatter going. not paying any mind to how he still hadn’t sat down. “i heard someone say how when slughorn showed the class below us the potion just as a heads up for next year cho chang said she swore she smelled you. i didnt know you guys were that close” and she wiggled her eyebrows at him while taking out some sketch book from her bag. she was really trying to joke with him right now. “she’s really pretty-“

but he cut her off. “why would you lie?”

“i swear! hermione told me all about it after i ran onto her in the bathroom before potions class started. i mean you have been tutoring her for a while now so i don’t know how you didn’t see it coming”

he was silent for a second and she grew uncomfortable of his gaze just lingering. standing up as he started again.

“we didn’t fuck up the bloody potion. but you told granger we did, why did you lie?”

she looked at him for a couple seconds and then laughed. “come on ced, slughorn said the thing was perfect. don’t worry about the grade”

“this is not about a mark and you know it” his tone was so serious it was bordering into stern. it was like his patience was growing thin but she didn’t know what to say, so she just shrugged and looked away.

“didn’t feel like talking about it then”

“we can talk about it now”

“it looks like there’s rain clouds coming”

“what are you trying to avoid?”

she just went to pick up her book, stuffing her things back into her bag. she started the walk back to the castle making him scoff and follow her lead.

“why don’t you want to talk to me?” to her he still sounded defensive. but he was trying his best to mask his vulnerability.

“i do want to talk to you ced. just not about it right now”

“was it someone i know? was it fred? i heard he’s with angelina so that’s a dead end you know”

“cedric just drop it”

“so it was him then”

she groaned and turned to look at him, breaking her stride. her face was burning with what he saw as anger.

“why does it matter so badly to you cedric?”

the thunder quickly ate up the good weather they still had and the air turned chilly. how fitting.

“it just does and i want to know”

“it really doesn’t matter to me and it shouldn’t to you either” she was upset about it, maybe her feelings for fred were far deeper than he could guess. he was aware of their friendship, but he never knew how close they had grown to be. maybe him being a tutor pushed her to finding someone new, some new more interesting friend. “i really don’t get why you’re blowing this to be such a big deal when cho-“

“it is a big deal to me” he chuckled and he saw the drizzle before he could feel it. “it’s a big deal to me when all i could smell on the thing was wildflowers and fresh rain” he let a breath out, his voice lowering back to its usual tone. no longer exasperated but tired. “fresh rain and vanilla”

she just stood there. quiet. looking at him. a couple steps and he had broken the distance between them. placing his hands on her shoulders and running them down to her hands.

“so please, just please tell me what it was for you”

“lilacs” she looked up at him and met his gaze. the flowers his mother had planted around the swing sets were lilacs, the flowers she tucked on his suit pocket on their first dance were lilacs. but he still couldn’t let his heart jump to conclusions. she took in the silence and looked forward, staring at his chest rather than looking at him in the eyes. the blow was coming. “warm sheets and fresh rain”

she smiled at the irony of the drizzle that covered her hair at the moment and dared to peek at him from under her lashes. he was puzzled by the last one. she kept looking down at his hands holding hers.

“that was my first kiss too you know, you never really asked and i guess i never told you. but i knew you were tired of everyone teasing you for it so i guessed you wouldn’t mind as long as you got it over with” she was rambling and he smiled. the rain coating her lashes reminded him of the first time, he let go of her hand and took her chin between his pointer and thumb. tilting her head up to look at him, moving his hand to run through her hair and finally cupping her face. running his thumb over her cheek. it was like he was getting a do over, and he wanted to take his time this time around. she looked into his eyes and then glanced down to his lips. he didn’t waste more time before his other hand flew to the free side of her face and his lips were on hers. her hands on his shoulders pulling him impossibly closer to her.

he cursed his lungs for preventing him from staying there, causing him to pull away slightly. she opened her eyes to see him looking at her already. he took in how the water droplets stuck to her hair and the smile that danced on her face.

her eyebrows shot up a little “took you long enough” her teasing smile made him let out a loud laugh.

he hummed and nodded. feigning seriousness “maybe” he looked at her with a teasing smile of his own. “but not nearly as long as it took you, now did it”

her eyebrows shot up and she let out a surprised laugh. he admired her for a second more before he leaned down to kiss her again. missing how she quickly ducked and escaped his grasp. starting to sprint through the grass towards the castle. he chased behind her as they both laughed at the water splashing around their feet and starting to soak them up slowly. she looked back at him and playfully screamed, booking it through the courtyard and slipping past the few people that were still out enjoying the soft rain.

their friends quickly spotted the pair, not surprised by their behavior but intrigued as to what had caused the giant to chase after her through the rain. watching as he was catching up to her when she had almost reached the group, which was seated waiting for them next to one of the arches surrounding the courtyard. staying safe from the rain under the roof. they all playfully looked at her catching her breath, not amused at all by their games when he reached her. hair sticking to his forehead and robes drenched just like hers. she yelped as he picked her up and spun her around, their friends getting ready to listen to whatever story was behind their chase.

the story telling itself when he set her down softly and pulled her in for a quick kiss. their bubble of happiness not popping but encasing all of their friends as well. no questions were needed, the happiness just flowed and bubbled.

he swung his arm over her shoulders. pulling her into his chest as she started the conversation back up. everything had fallen into place for him, and now he could light up candles and tuck her into bed not because she had another unlucky shot at love. but because he was finally lucky enough.

[the-lonelybarricade]

Hiii!! I've been following your work since the beginning and i just wanted to give u a big squeeze of a hug for blessing us with all of your fics 'cause i feel like we don't deserve u for blessing us with all these wonderful feysand content that u are sharing.

I hope all is well with ur life and in ur studies, and if it's not too much to ask, would you consider writing a feysand au where Feyre & Rhys aren't mates, but are happily in love and in a relationship--when all of a sudden, one of them meets their mate (preferably Rhys..?) or something like that 😚. Won't lie to u that im dying to know what events would play out and how Feyre would react if this scenario happened. Really no pressure to write this or anything just wanted to try my luck with this idea :DD. Thank u!

Bestie, ooof. What are you trying to do to me? Can you imagine how heartbreaking that would be for Feysand to be happy and in love, waiting patiently for the mating bond to snap only to find out they were star-crossed lovers all along? Well you don’t have to imagine it, because I already have. And if I’m going to be in torment over Feysand angst, I’m (affectionately) dragging you all down with me.

P.s. thank you for the submission lovely, I hope you enjoy <3

The Chains That Bind Us

Word count: 1,956

⟡⟡⟡

Feyre and Rhysand were happily married. For 300 years, they had basked in what seemed like an infinite stretch of rapture, working alongside and complimenting each other with a grace and chemistry that had always felt predestined. They had always been certain they were mates, but time had flowed on and neither had felt the inkling of that special, magic bond.

They have resigned that perhaps the mating bond will never snap, perhaps that’s simply not what they were to one another, but that was okay. It was enough to be husband and wife, to be High Lord and Lady, to be happy and in love. They didn’t need a mating bond to reaffirm what they felt for one another. Things were already perfect as they were.

Until they weren’t. Until they had journeyed together to Illyria to oversee the announcement of the first all-female battalion. It had been a long term goal of Rhysand and his brothers to finally battle back the long ingrained sexism of Illyrian culture, and the visit was meant to be a celebration. A liberating ceremony, in honor of their mothers and all the females who had been victims of prejudice.

But when the leader of the battalion stepped forward to be acknowledged for her accomplishments, Rhysand had gone rigid at Feyre’s side, his breathing suddenly ragged. His pupils were blown wide, eyes fixed, riveted to the female.

Feyre felt her whole world had imploded in that moment. Especially when that female’s eyes had met her High Lord’s and had frozen just the same, the two bearing matched expressions of awe and disbelief.

She was certain she was going to be sick. Such a thing would be far from befitting of a High Lady, so Feyre had immediately winnowed back to their River House, back into their bathroom where she was instantly emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl.

Rhysand was there not too long after, holding back Feyre’s hair. They said nothing to each other, not until Feyre had recovered enough to turn and face her husband.

She was entirely unprepared for the way her heart shattered to meet his face, to meet those lovely eyes she had loved for centuries. Eyes that had only moments before been staring at another female with so much blind devotion it had torn her open.

“Feyre—” he started.

“I suppose we should have assumed that something like this could happen,” she interrupted, because she couldn’t bear to hear him apologize. Not for something like this, something that was entirely out of either of their control.

“It doesn’t change anything,” he insisted, but there was a strain to his voice that had never been present before. A bite that Feyre was convinced was the result of Rhysand battling against his instincts to return to Illyria, to that female.

“It changes everything, Rhys.”

She was already weeping as she choked the words out, because speaking them made them true. Those few centuries of bliss between them, they were a bubble, a perfectly crafted delusion that had finally popped.

“I love you,” Rhys seethed, as though arguing with himself. “I don’t even know that females name—”

“It doesn’t matter, Rhys. She’s your—”

“Don’t say it,” he begged, his voice a broken rasp. “Please, don’t say it.”

Somehow, that made it impossibly worse. That Rhys had been gifted this incredible, Cauldron-blessed thing, but was scorning it for her sake. Most Fae dreamed of the moment their mating bond would snap, and here was her husband acting as if it was his worst nightmare.

But Feyre knew what it was like for males. She knew he was clawing against every instinct in his mind, screaming at him to go to his mate, to know her name, to claim her. Feyre stifled another sob. Rejected mating bonds could drive a male mad. How could she ever think to do that to him? How could she deny him this piece of himself?

What broke her heart more than anything is that Feyre knew he would. Rhysand would reject his bond, would let that intrinsic part of his soul be torn away, for her sake. If Feyre asked, he would stay. He would stay and be miserable.

“I can’t do this to you, Rhys. I can’t force you to stay with me out of duty. I will not be your jailor.”

“You are my wife,” Rhys choked, reaching for her hand. He drew her palms to his face, allowing her to caress his cheeks. He shut his eyes as he nuzzled into her touch, causing his unshed tears to fall, racing down to collect at her hands. “You are my High Lady. You are the only one I want to be with.”

That wrecked another sob through Feyre’s body, which came out as a harsh exhale as she tried to restrain it. “You’d be a broken male without her, Rhys. The Cauldron—” she sucked in a strangled breath. Some truths were just too difficult to confront— “The Cauldron didn’t intend for us to be together.”

“Damn the Cauldron,” he growled, reaching for her with newfound conviction. “No one and nothing can decide who I love. No one can tell me that you are not who I belong with—who I belong to.”

Feyre allowed him to bundle her in his arms, to press her fiercely against his chest. She knew moments like this were fleeting, where they could hold each other as husband and wife. Already, their love was tarnished. Tainted. Blood spilled onto white snow. How long would it take for this mating bond to seep, to spill into the cracks, to spread until it consumed them? She couldn’t see an outcome where they could stay together unblemished, where they wouldn’t come to resent one another.

“Rhysand, listen to me love,” Feyre said, and found that her voice was steadier than she anticipated. “I care more about you being happy than I care about that happiness being found with me. Do you understand?”

“I would not be happier without you, Feyre.” His voice was ripe with earnesty. When she turned those eyes to meet his, those violet depths were burning, the silver constellations completely eclipsed by molten amethyst. He swallowed thickly. “Do I… want that female? Yes.” Feyre cringed to hear her husband admit it outloud. “But, that is just my instincts. I will be able to manage them with time. This bond is nascent. My love for you? It’s endured for centuries. The cauldron is not faultless; my parents were mates and they were miserable together. I could never imagine someone so perfect to walk beside me as you, Feyre. I do not seek another, no matter what fate has to say for it.”

Feyre allowed the comfort of his words to wash over her. She rested her head against Rhysand’s shoulder, inhaling his familiar scent, letting herself lavish in the rhythm of him, the beat of his heart steady in his chest.

“I will understand if you change your mind,” she whispered. “I do not hold you to your vows. If you become unhappy, if one day you cannot resist the pull you feel towards her… I will not hold it against you. I give you permission to… to leave me.”

Rhys let out a small, rueful laugh before he pressed a tender kiss to her temple. “How could I desert a love that is so selfless? The least I could do in the wake of such a declaration is promise to never see that female again.”

Feyre shook her head emphatically. “Don’t promise me that, Rhys. Just—just promise me that we’ll always be honest with each other. That we’ll always be a team, whether it be as rulers, or as lovers, or… or just as friends.”

“I promise,” he swore. “I vowed on my court and crown that I will love you for eternity. And I still know that to be true, even now. My soul… it might belong to someone else. But my heart, Feyre, it will always belong to you.”

There was something irreparably changed between them. They both knew it, could sense the way it lingered between them. The first crack, and possibly not the last. What they had was fragile now, but they had a gift for being delicate with one another.

The silence hung between them, a wretched, discomfiting presence that had never been there before. Both not quite sure what to say, not quite sure where this put them. She watched Rhysand’s lower lip quiver, understood that it was from the strain of not burdening her with his own turmoil over the situation.

Feyre tutted as she threw her arms around him, recognizing the signs of his crumbling. Rhys bowed his head in shame, burying his face into her chest.

“I’m sorry,” he gasped against her, releasing a sob of his own. “I’m sorry it couldn’t have been you. I wanted it to be you. I’m a failure of a husband, for putting you through this.”

“You are an excellent husband,” Feyre protested, threading her fingers through his hair soothingly. Her voice was still raw. “I don’t blame you for this, Rhys. I love you just the same.”

He lifted his head so their tear-stained faces were level. His eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, still glistening in silver. “What do we do now?”

They clung to each other so tightly, as if they pressed hard enough they could redirect fate, could mold their souls together and correct the misdeed of the Cauldron.

“I don’t know,” Feyre answered, burying her face in his shoulder as if it would hide her from the truth of the world. “I suppose we have no choice but to keep going. We’ll find our footing again. Together. And if we don’t… well, maybe we can wish on the stars.”

There was a huff of air at her ear. A laugh, she guessed, or something like it, something wry and humorless. Rhys moved underneath her, and Feyre pulled away to watch in confusion as her husband rose to his feet.

He extended his hand towards her. Curious, Feyre accepted, allowing him to pull her to her feet. In a blink, they were on the rooftop, beneath the stars. She hadn’t even realized the sun had set until she was staring up at the impossibly bright cosmos.

“Where better to find our footing than under those very stars?”

She turned to him, and Rhys was staring at her the way he had on starfall, all those centuries ago. Staring at her as if she were the brightest star in the sky, as though he looked to Feyre to cast his wishes.

“Will you dance with me, wife?”

Not convinced she was capable of speech, Feyre nodded. Using the hand he still held, Rhys twirled her into his arms. And though no music played, they found their own rhythm, lost in the cadence of each other, spinning endlessly under the stars.

As they swayed under the endless expanse of sky and starlight, Feyre mused how even the brightest of stars eventually burned out, but that didn’t make them any less worth wishing on. That didn’t mean they weren’t worth fighting for.

⟡⟡⟡

[daegall]

End of a day

pairing: Na Jaemin x reader

Genre: fluff, angst (?)

🎶: End of a day by Kim Jonghyun

Word count: 2.3k words (more than i planned jgsjjf)

Warnings: umm lots of fluff?? And sad jaemin :((

Network/s: @neoturtles

A/n: JFNSJFBJWBF UGHHHHH TUMBLR 😩😩😩😩 STOP BEING A BITCH PLS 😭😭😭😭😭 THIS IS HE SECOND TIME IM POSTING THIS 😃 enjoy it tho :)) it’s better than all my other works tbh so dint be too disappointed if you check the others :’)

Thousands of people work every day, tired and upset, and yet they get up the next day to do the exact same thing. That’s how life is. It seems like nobody has a problem with that, maybe it’s because they’ve become so accustomed to it, or maybe they don’t want to come out pathetic and weaker to others, but they just keep going. It’s amazing, really, the way the mind works. Some people want to come off as strong and hard to read, and others just want to make friends and have fun.

Perhaps you were both, but today, you were none. All you felt was tiredness and stress. All you wanted to do was rip off these painfully uncomfortable clothes and curl into bed next to Jaemin.

At last, you reach your home you share with Jaemin, opening the door as he texted you he would leave it unlocked for you. Sluggishly and with no care in the world, you fling your shoes somewhere around the shoe rack, launching your bag to the couch, “I’m home!” no reply. With a huff, you make a beeline towards your shared room, emotions getting worse with every step you take. You twist the knob to your room, pushing it open, “Jaemin, you in he-”

Reach out and cover my neck

Please massage my shoulder a little further down

All your moodiness fades away when you spot your tired boyfriend quietly sniffling into his palms, seating looking too uncomfortable, even the sight of it throws your clothes into despair. “Jaemin...” you slowly inch towards him, heart shattering when he lets out a sob. He’s still in his work suit, something you loved on him, but now it just looked like it was suffering him. “Jaemin, baby,” you gently place your hand on his messy hair, cooing and running your fingers through his delicate strands when he leans into your touch.

“Come on, let’s go change. You feel uncomfortable, don’t you?” You beckon him softly, picking his face up and swiping a thumb over his wet cheek. He gives you a tight nod, squeezing the last few tears out before standing up, enveloping your hand around his. This is what he came home for. Your comfort and reassurance.

Even if the sun has already risen at the end of a tiring day

Now that I close my eyes

Just when you unbutton the last button of his jacket and throw it somewhere behind you, Jaemin can’t help but lean down to place his lips softly onto yours with care. His lips are salty from his tears, but you really don’t mind when his kisses are so soft, unlike all the other teasing and a bit rough ones he gives in the day. You pull away slowly, grinning up at him. He finally feels what he’s been longing the whole day, relaxation and tranquility. It feels so perfect and so… you.

Within 5 minutes, all uncomfortable work clothes are long forgotten, only soft big tees that envelop you and lul you slowly to sleep. That’s what you plan to do, right after Jaemin’s done in the bathroom and is next to you.

By the time your eyes are drooping close, the bathroom door is open, and you spot Jaemin shaking his hands dry and wiping them on his shirt. He instantly climbs in next to you, rushing into burying his face into your neck snugly.

On my day when I close the door later than others

Playfully tickling the earlobe

Even if we've been in a different world all day

Because we are always together at the end of the day

“Hard day?” You mumble into his forehead, chuckling lightly when he nods his head aggressively. “Do you want to talk about it?” Jaemin sighs, “Not really. It’s just the usual, given more work than the others. It’s just frustrating me,” You let out a thoughtful hum, nodding and threading your fingers into his messy hair, “So it all finally got to you?” He nods once again, this time a bit softer as he pulls you closer to his body.

“That’s good to hear, that you didn’t suppress your feelings, I mean. It’s been so long since you’ve actually relaxed.” Jaemin grins, you can read him so well, it’s amazing how you can determine how he’s feeling just by how he eats his breakfast or how affectionate he’s been.

Your little shoulders, your two little hands

At the end of my tiring day, it becomes a cozy blanket

Good job, you worked really hard

It makes him guilty, how you know every single part of him, and yet he doesn’t even try to know your small habits and actions you do. But then, he knows about your slow steps in the evening when you come back home, and the way your frown turns up quickly, almost too quickly, too fake. ‘Oh my god, you haven’t been good either,’ he thinks, as he squeezes you to him, as if trying to get rid of all the guilt he felt.

“Have you been okay?”

You are alarmed at the sudden question, tilting your head down to give him a confused look, “What?” Jaemin places his hand on your face, this time it’s him who’s stroking your tear away. You didn’t even realize you were crying until you felt the moisture spreading on your cheek.

“You’re not having such a good day either, huh?” Quickly, you try to scoot away from your boyfriend and wipe harshly at your tears, but the second you wipe one aggressively, Jaemin stops you, instead sitting up and wiping them himself, “You’re suppressing it too much.”

A scoff falls from your lips, before you playfully shove him away, “Don’t copy me!” There is a moment of laughter, before the atmosphere falls quiet. Not even a few seconds later, Jaemin is scooping you up to his side, enveloping you into his chest, “I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner.” Instead of replying, you soften to his embrace, letting the last few tears finally release.

To you, my two hands with my blunt shoulders

I hope it will be a warm comfort at the end of your tiring day

I want to breathe with you naturally

Now you feel it, what Jaemin was yearning for when he came home, serene and pure ease. One of Jaemin’s hands tangles into your hair, fingers prodding soothingly on your scalp, his other hand venturing underneath your shirt to caress your bare skin with care. He was wrong. He did know every part of you, he knew perfectly what you wanted and when to give it. You inch closer to Jaemin, craving more of his warmth and touch.

He only coos at your eagerness, happily letting you cling onto him and bury your form into his hold. He places a tender kiss on your forehead, as if a silent reminder that he loves you. You shift in his hold, “Thank you,” your whisper felt soft, almost soothing against Jaemin’s skin, and he continues pressing quick, loving pecks all over your face, just as much until you giggle out at the lingering sensation when he finally stops.

You finally have the strength to look back up into Jaemin’s eyes, and you find nothing but clarified love and affection, no doubt you have those as well in your own.

Like the water in the bathtub that tightly embraces you

Warmly and completely

At the end of my embarrassing day full of clumsy mistakes

Are you waiting for me to be proud of you

The ambiance is everything soft, it feels comforting and like home, it feels like Christmas night, the ones where you just finally calm down from the buzzing day from before. For a second there, you almost forget about the hectic day you had previously, but honestly, all you want to do is thank it, without it you wouldn’t be here, you would most likely be still working.

Work is a bitch, you conclude, because even when you’re done with it for the day and want to take a break from it, you can’t, you can’t help but worry and think about the next time you encounter it, you want to finish it, but where is the end of it? Work will always be there to bring you back to the reality that you can’t slack off, you’ll get off track.

Now your thoughts were just getting out of hand, and you really hate work now.

“Baby, you’re overthinking, I can tell.” you shake your head, getting rid of the thoughts, “Sorry,” Jaemin chuckles lightly, caressing your cheek dearly, “No, I kind of am too.”

The conversation ends there, it’s like you don’t want to ruin the peaceful little aura you’ve created, opting to keep it as long as you can. Jaemin decides to revive the conversation, sliding down to relax and lay down on the bed, bringing you with him, “Tell me,” His eyes catch yours, almost pleading you to tell him, “Tell me what you were thinking about,”

“Well,” You start, “Work is just so inevitable, and honestly? It’s full of shit.” Jaemin chortles slightly at your choice of words, “Tell me about it.” You give him a mischievous look, “Like, no matter how much you hate it and don’t want it, you’re still gonna have to do it anyway, you basically can’t live without work.”

The small sigh doesn’t go unnoticed by Jaemin, as he pats your back comfortingly. “And whenever you want to just get over with it, you can’t. It’s still gonna be there again the next day or two. I don’t like it at all. Not one bit.”

Your boyfriend almost agrees, but stops. He should encourage you instead, he thinks.

“But hey, a the end if you work hard there will be a present waiting at home for you.” You roll your eyes, thinking it one of his corny jokes, but he continues, “At least that’s what I tell myself to get throughout the day, I get to see you again, that’s practically magical. Coming back home and tumbling into your hugs and kisses are literally soo perfect, it’s surreal, almost.”

Your little shoulders, your two little hands

At the end of my tiring day, it becomes a cozy blanket

Good job, you worked really hard

A big smile spreads across your lips, and you turn your head to look at Jaemin. He smiles at you, affirming his words, softly running his hands through your hair, “I know it’s really cheesy, but it works for me.”

Your perspective might change completely because of that, imagine just a hard ass day of work kicking your ass, tiring, and most likely emotional and full of breakdowns, and in return for dealing with all the shit, you get to relax and spend some time with Jaemin without any work interrupting you two, you might just want that every day.

You give him a bigger, more satisfied smile, “Okay, I’ll do that.”

To you, my two hands with my blunt shoulders

I hope it will be a warm comfort at the end of your tiring day

I want to breathe with you naturally

Jaemin is another breed, because who on earth would come up with that idea? Na Jaemin did. While others, and most likely you, think of all the bad things that happened throughout the day, Jaemin thought of the future, what’s happened has happened, if it was shit then so be it. But time with you could never be shit for him, he can’t find a single bit of it boring.

Despite being with him for so long, you can’t help but always be so mesmerized by him, he’s absolutely fascinating. The way he sees life is honestly on another level, a level that you want to reach and a level he will happily help you reach.

From now on, you decide, you will find the goods at the end of the day, you will work hard, maybe even extra hard, just to be happy at the end of the day when you meet Jaemin once again.

I can't cry as much as I want and I can't laugh as much as I want

At the end of a tiring day, if it’s next to you

You scream like a child and laugh like you pass your breath

I meet myself, who has become awkward too

So when the next day arrives, you work super duper hard, staying an extra hour to help Mark with his own work he struggles with (he’s not that good with technology) and even doing extra small tasks your coworkers ask you to do, which they found funny because usually, you reply with an excuse or simply turning it down, this was definitely a good thing.

And when you go back home, this time you’re about 3 times more exhausted, and 10 times more excited to finally meet Jaemin after a long day.

You bust the door open harshly, throwing your shoes messily at the shoe rack with a bright smile on your face.

“I’m home!”

Jaemin’s soft mop of hair peeks out from the kitchen, “Oh? Baby? How was-”

Suddenly, the air in his lungs gets knocked out from force, the force of you rushing into his arms. You feel it. The happiness. Jaemin was right, this feels victorious. You feel like you’ve won in life, you feel so accomplished.

Jaemin sighs, wrapping his arms around you and leaning his forehead on the top of your head, “I’m so proud of you.”

Good job, you worked really ahrd

You are my pride

[unwrittenlibrary]

at your worst

summary // how can you forget someone who holds your heart in the palm of their hand [bucky barnes x reader]

words // 0.5k (short piece)

warnings // break up, angst, no happy ending

notes // i miss someone a lot and just wrote this because im sad title inspired from traitor by olivia rodrigo

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i don’t know if this is still your number but i want you to know i miss you

•

Your text goes ignored. Not that you’re all that surprised, Bucky Barnes had walked out of your life two years ago and he had never come back.

You take a deep breath before turning on your side. You had come across a shirt, that’s all it was, a black t-shirt in his size with his initials sewn into the tag so he knew it was his.

It was a stupid habit you had, sewing his initials onto the tags, one that made you feel better when he was gone. One that made him laugh and promise he didn’t mind, it gave him something to look forward to when he got back. New colored threads standing out against his black t-shirts was something so simple, but it made both of you smile. For a little while.

You had found the shirt when searching through a bin for one of your sweaters. You had slipped it on and thought of him. Thought of his eyes and his lips and his charm. His love. The love you had for him.

“I don’t understand.” Your voice cracks as you watch Bucky move around the room from your spot on the bed. “We… We were talking about getting married a week ago and now you… You’re breaking up with me?”

You watch Bucky swallow, but he doesn’t look at you as he keeps stuffing his things into the duffle bag. “I’m sorry.” He whispers, but that’s all that he says.

You shake your head. “Just… What the fuck, Bucky? What happened to you’re my forever and all that? We…” You trail off unsure of what else you can say. So far, none of your words have forced him to pause and say you’re right, I love you. He just keeps moving around you.

“I can’t give you what you want.” He says calmly as he zips the last bag. He’s got two of them, filled to the brim with clothes and toiletries. “I just… I’m sorry.” He finally looks up at you.

You’re shocked to see his bright eyes brimmed with tears. “You’re all I want, Bucky. Please don’t do this.” You beg him.

He just stares at you for a moment, like he’s trying to memorize your face, before he finally leans down and presses a gentle kiss to the center of your forehead.

“You have a good life ahead of you.” His mumbles. You shut your eyes as he steps away, physically unable to watch him leave you. “Full of love and light,” he pauses, “without me.”

Once the bedroom door slams shut sobs wrack your body and you struggle to breathe. Of all the things you thought you might lose in this life, Bucky wasn’t one of them.

You cough as you cry, your position on your side making it hard to breathe as tears stream down your face.

Two years later and it still hurts. You were unsure if it was because it didn’t feel like a real goodbye or because you just loved him that much, but Bucky Barnes was forever imprinted on your heart.

No matter how hard you tried to forget him.

•

text read @ 2:56AM

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notes // hi this is short because i just needed to write my feelings out. hope you’re all safe & healthy as summer approaches us! promise ill add a keep reading from my laptop tomorrow when i wake up cause i cant for the life of me figure it out on mobile I AM A TECH GENIUS tumblr pls add read more shortcut back to mobile