#im stuck in the middle of art block

[lealikestodraw]

Spoilers for OMORI

[sillyblues]

Yoo, can I request a fic/hc's of Miguel with a Black Cat variant Male Reader?? 👉👈

Enemies to lovers, antagonizing, flirting, banter ykyk

ੈ✩‧₊˚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: i am finally done resting and im taking a break writing with that one fic HELP i swear its coming out but n e ways I LOVE THIS i had fun writing this aaaaaaaaaa!!! im thinking of making this a multi parts again bc i so SO love this dynamic and the possible scenarios

okay so reader here, you, becomes Black Cat after growing up in the slums, seeing the brutality of poverty and the greediness of capitalist pigs. you said enough was enough and it was time to eat the rich!! 

so you joined underground rings, fighting for mostly the experience and money when people bet on you so could survive. but it wasn’t enough you needed to learn more and it was a good thing you caught the eye of someone strong. you saw him before but you figured he was just a crazy homeless dude but boy you were wrong when he showed you to his house, a whole ass fucking mansion, in the Nueva York City. apparently he was the infamous Black Cat and you got his attention and bam, now you became the heir to his name and got a father as an extra. there, he taught you all he know, all martial arts, and even shared information about the celebrities and criminals that resided in the city.

after years had gone by, he faked his death and lived somewhere place far away because he was old and retired. you finally made your official debut as the Black Cat by ransacking the money drawers of a corrupt well-known Judge who accepted bribes and let criminals run free. the whole world’s eyes were on the newest Black Cat who made another robbery headline. you know who got his eyes on you as well? Spiderman.

colour you surprised when the next time you decided to steal from a known rich man who planned to destroy Atlantica for some project he wants, a big burly man with wide shoulders and hella sharp tons started chasing after you. not really, you were expecting to see him as your father warned you about him.

“Put those bags away.” He warned with a growl after he shot a spider web at you to try and get you stuck. “Now.”

You were in the middle of running away after stealing bags of cash from the rich man’s vault of money but the sudden entrance of Spiderman blocking your exit greeted you. It didn’t matter because it was one of the multiple exits you had planned beforehand anyways. And even if you run out of exits, you could always create one.

“How about no, Mr. Spiderman?” you grinned, showing off your pearly whites to him.

“I wasn’t asking.” He took off and ran immediately after you, hot on your tails. Like a cat, your reflexes were fast enough to move the second he moved as well and you ran down the hallways. You ran, sometimes pushing some obstacles for him to enjoy. It did nothing to slow him down of course, but it did annoy him and that was all you wanted. 

He let out a frustrated growl and with enough anger as his adrenaline, he jumped at you and got down to the ground.

“Oh? You’re this excited for me even though we just met, Spidey?” He grabbed your arms and pinned you against the floor.

“Aren’t you a confident one?” His mask disappeared and he revealed his handsome chiselled face, his hair falling down onto you. He opened his mouth, fangs sharpening to bite you but you knew this beforehand.

“Save your bites when we’re in bed,” you smirked at him, “and when there isn’t a whole ceiling coming down at you.” He immediately looked up to see a swinging ceiling clearly about to fall. The moment he looked up, the strength in his hands lessened a tiny bit but for you, it was enough. You kicked him and pushed him away and yourself in different directions, not forgetting the bags of money you were after in the first place.

As the ceiling got destroyed, you had long gone with another successful heist and left an everlasting impression on Miguel O’Hara with a need to chase after you again.

[calamarispiderart]

idea of the threes way of drawing themselves + handwriting. notes on each one;

thinking with mind he prioritizes clean lines and flat colors. in his abstracted form his joints are stiff, so he relies on vector-type lines, shape and line correction tools. his hand writing is i think print but has a tilt and a slight curve (almost cursive, but not quite...) and is primarily in all caps

for heart, if its digital i think he would draw on a dark background with dim colors due to high light sensitivity. lots of very sketchy lines because his vision is too fuzzy for clean ones to be easy and hes generally just a bit too shaky (also an avoidance of minds way of art.) but i like the idea that he is a good bit more practiced and it shows somewhat. probably followed some of those instagram tutorials at some point and a few things from those stuck. abstracted, he is far too jittery and shaky to even consider clean lines. his hand writing is usually either faint and a bit muddled (lower) or in block letters, going over every line a few times to make it as clear as possible.

for soul. he never really bothered with art past the mandatory middle school classes. he kept the cursive writing somewhat and he likes to add the little flourish under his name but unless its important his handwriting is mostly just whatever it ends up being. im imagining the only reason his would exist in-world is because he wanted to feel included. but he also couldnt really be bothered and then tried to get rid of it (a Little bit embarrassed) but mind stuck it to the metaphorical fridge bc he thinks its funny as shit

very much idealised in that realistically i think None of them would be able to draw. souls is probably the closest to reality lol

[miwachan2]

oh helloo just me doing some big venting below the read more

feel free to keep scrollin'

HHHHHHHHH why is everything so hard...

I got some pretty bad art block right now so i thought i'd try to write more of chapter two but nnnooo im not able to write either! which is stupid! because i KNOW what i want to write i have it all planned out in my head! but when i go to actually take the time wo write it out I. cant. i am stuck on this one part in the middle-endish (becuase i keep wanting to change it and now im stuck) but after that part i know what i want to write and yeah i could just come back to that part and write everything else after it but nnnooOoOoOooo my brain and hands literally will not let me write more until i get passed this stupid little part that shouldn't be so hard to figure out and this is still just the bullet point part! to briefly get my ideas down before actually writing writing and im still. stuck.

hhh so much is goin on right now too Im angry, my head hurts, the games i play to distract myself and relax are no longer mentally stimulating, im exhausted, i think im going emotionally numb again, and now I got art block & writers block, and I just wanna sleep but cant do that either :)))))

anyway- meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow why you still reading this meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow

[s0urk4nd1]

based on high demand (threat)

here u go guys but you're stuck with this until i feel like my art is worthy enough to post of them

things to note:

i blocked out their middle names because idk if they're officially yet

some of this may not be canon in the future

HEX'S REAL NAME IS NOT HEX I BLOCKED OUT HER REAL NAME

rosalinde is like really undeveloped and im struggling with her

all of their pronouns:

eris: he/him

dahlia: she/her

faye: she/her (but she accepts they/them)

hex: they/them (they/them is their preferred pronouns but they don't care if someone says something else)

rosalinde: she/her

(i don't hate religious people. yes, faye's mother is one of the toxic ones sadly. but i don't care what your religion is, or if you have one or not, as long as you're a good person!)

[artidiya]

I hate it when you get art block in the middle of the project💀

IF ANYONE HAS TIPS OR SUGGESTIONS FOR THE BACKGROUNDS OF ANY PART OF THIS BUNNY FANART PLEASE SEND, IM SO STUCK

For the SOT on top I was thinking something foresty(green) or like a sunset(orange) but I haven’t settled on anything yet for that

The TFBW background is pretty much decided for but it doesn’t feel finished yet, if anyone has suggestions on how to make it better I’m all ears

Finally for the main show version of bunny I have a couple of ideas, from the hallways/lockers or somewhere in South Park but we shall see where it goes since it’ll be the last one I’m working on

Thank you anyone who interacts with my blog, it means the world to me and I wish you all the best❤️❤️

[boundless-n-bare]

ugh goddammit i love creating but art is balls sometimes

im working on this one piece that is complex and while it is coming along very nicely ive been stuck on the left foot for days

so im like okay no worries lets take a break and try another project, make it something simple quick and minimal and then after that go back to the complex one, hopefully feeling nice and refreshed from having done the simple one. makes enough sense

so i try that but now im trying to simplify my style and holy shit why is this hard too!? this is the opposite of what i was going for

artmaking can feel so awkward. i keep looking at the complex one thinking "you can do that why can't you just just do a simpler, less detailed version!?" how am i this good and this bad at the same time?

like i have all these ideas i want to get out but im in the middle of this weird artists block 😓

i really want to share one of my projects soon but my brain has just been swiss cheese lately. im really excited to share the complex one but at this rate its going to be months

[solfinite]

i want to rant real quick, its not anything serious, just a personal art rant

ive always loved art, since like kindergarten, its something that i do alot and like to share. it helps me through depressive episodes and other troubles, it helps me fall asleep and i just do it bc i want to, etc.

i have other hobbies too, i love making music, playing games, reading, writing,, but those don't fully satisfy me

a few years ago, back in late middle school, or early high-school. i was talking with classmates. we were talking about hobbies and one mentioned that they noticed i draw alot, and asked if i do other stuff.

i said something along the lines of "yeah but i mostly draw" to which they responded "oh, thats kinda sad"

it hit me pretty hard. why was it 'sad'? i knew not to really listen to people like that but it stuck with me.and i started feeling self conscious that i drew daily.

i'd hold myslef back from posting when i made art and only would post every few days. i didn't like people knowing how much i drew. it made me really anxious at some times

and something i found hard to relate to alot of other artists i was friends with, follow or watch is,, not drawing. for whatever reasons they stop drawing, im mostly talking art block. as i just still doodle when i have artblock, bc i need to do something with my hands

and now i do just post whenever i have art but its still hard to not feel this weird guilt or distaste towards how often i draw

its ok if you draw alot and its ok if you don't, its ok if you rarely draw or in an artblock, or can't for whatever reason

[theuniverseawakens347]

We’re of age.. so it’s not child porn now 🤷🏽‍♀️🖕🏽

AT NOAH DUMBASS DECORSI.. let’s get the aired OUT PERSONALLY .. me n Tristan ALREADY WHILPED YO ASS VERBALLY TOGETHER BUT YOU STILL WANA PLAY MICKEY.

1. Nigga we me n you met in 5th grade TCS, YOU FELL HARD, I was like “ooo a nigga at a white school I just came from the hood 🤷🏽‍♀️🖕🏽”

2. Astro camp 5th grade YOU PRESSURED ME TO KISS YOU .. I ain’t even lean in my nigga.. and YOU COOPED A BUTT FEEL W/ O PERMISSION, rape 🤷🏽‍♀️

3. AINT SHIT HAPPEN WHEN WE GOT OUT THE POOL.. I Flirted w you cause you gave me attention AND WAS A BLACK BOY AT BASICALLY A WHITE SCHOOL AND I JUST CAME FROM 54th..

4. THIS WHEN YOU MET WHITE TRISTAN AND WAS TELLING HIM IN 5th GRADE ME N YOU SMASHING, LYING FUCKING ASS. AINT LOSE MINE TIL A WEEK BEFORE ALEXIS WALLACE WAS KILT.. 16 TO FUCK ASS DUMBASS JUSTIN INFWE

5. I MAN HANDLED RHE FUCK OUT YOUR ASS AFTER ASTRO CAMP CAUSE I REALIZED YOU WAS A PUNK BULLYING THE OTHER KIDS IE AT MALCOM MUHAMMAD ASKARI KID

6. YOU SHOWED MY ART JOURNAL WHERE I WROTE I WAS GOING TO FUCK MILADA UO FOR BULLYING ME DURING SOCCER AND HAVING HER DAD YELL AT ME.. LEE ASKED YOU TO SNITCH TO THE PRINCIPAL OLIVIA PAUL SINGER MOTHER.. TURNS OUT SON BRYANT IS MY BROTHER ..

6. YOU HAD KINDERGARTENS SING “I found you miss new booty” to me AND ALWAYS HARASSED ME TO FUCK HANG KISS OR JUST BE W YOU.. weirdo SUSAN TRYING FOR AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE OFF OF EITHER YOU SAM OR CJ OSARIO PLANNED BY LEE GARLINGTON

7. WE DRIFTED AFTER 6th grade cause TCS went had not started 7th yet .. and I went to IMMAC.. SHERE TOU MET LAURN REESE AND SHE LIKES ANYTHING IM INTERESTED IN AT LEE GARLINGTON REQUEST OF OWNING SLAVES OFF YOU “ILLUMINATI” PARENTS

7. MIDDLE SCHOOL TO ABOUT SOPHOMORE YR HIGH SCHOOL WE AINT REALLY TALK.. liked some photos here n there hit a few “hi how you doing” THATS IT .. i “missed” you simply bc I WENT TO A MOSTLY WHITE ALL GIRL SCHOOL.. IM A FUCKING TOMBOY, I ISED TO FIGHT YOU AND SAM EVERYDAY ON THE SCHOOL YARD .. but and idc for the energy of STUCK UP “I THINK IM BETTER THAN BC IM SHALLOW AS FUCK girls” Lee had me around ..

8. 16 I made a tumblr.. YOU WERE DATING SOME Polynesian BITCH WHO DIDNT LIKE THAT YOU WERE SO CLEARLY OBSESSED W ME .. SHE HAD YOU BLOCK ME NUMEROUS TIMES BUT TOUD UNBLOCK WHEN YOU SEEN I POSTED PHOTOS OF ME TO MY TUMBLR .. AR HOW MY HALF SHAVED HEAD AND SUPERMAN UNDIES GOT ON YOUR NASTY LIL BOY SIGHT AT CHRISTOPHER FUCKING WEIRDO TOO WHO I SENT PICS TO JUNIOR SUMMER WHILE FLINGING IT ..

9. YALL FUCKING WEIRD PERVERTS FOR SOME MONEY.. and doing this shit WILLINGLY AS KIDS AND CONTINUING IT TO DRUGGING MOFOS AND RAPING ..

10. YOU HIT ONE FUCKING TIME MY NIGGA AND THATS CAUSE WALKER WASNT AVAILABLE TO HIT OUR YEARLY SMASH AND CATCH UP SINCE 2014.. you hit 2018 last week I had my Chevy Cruze LIKE I SAID PICKED U UP FUCKED YOU AND DROPPED YO ASS OFF. .. YOU CAME TO CSUN WHILE I ATTENDED EXPECTING TO CATCH UP ON MY END CAUSS I WAS HEAVILY INVOLVED WITH PUNK ASS IAN AND HIS “free Mason” BULLSHIT I AINT FUCK YOU.. YOU WANTED AND TRIED AND I SAID MY NIGGA WOULD KILL YOU AND YOU STILL CAME BACK A SECOND TIME AND SNUCK A FUCKING KISS IN .. rape , THEN LIED ABOUT MY HUSBAD TRISTAN GETTING JUMPED AND YOU SAVING HIM.. and then TRIED TO FUCK ME N THE CAR.. I SAID NO GLOVE NO LOVE ( Ian and I OFFICIALLY DONE) TOOK ME BACK TO CAMPUS AINT SHIT HAPPEN.. ian and I wasn’t together for him to ask me about you.. NIGHA WAS HOPPING AROUND W GOLDEN tracc star and “twin” ON THAT NASTY SIGHT.. and ALISSA DUMBASS FUCK ANYTHING MORRIS AND TLO3sum head ass with “twin” NICOLE mole on lip..

11. YOU STEADY OVER THE YEARS TOOK PHOTOS OFF MY TUMBLR AND PUT LASSED THEM AROUND SAYING INWAS UR MAIN SIDE PIECE BOO THANG, LYING LITTLE DICK NIGGA .. you can eat the box but that’s bout it’s PENCIL DICK HEADASS BITCH.

12. YOU BROUGHT ME MY NIGGA TRISTAN Jan/ Feb 2017 .. I was looking for a dealer and YOU TOLD HIM I WAS LOOKING FOR A HOOKUP / BOO.. no friend wasn’t on that Type of time, yet ( cut to fuck ass Daniel Gonzales FROM CSUN.. talking like March - JUN then dating ..while he hoing ThANKS TO LEE GARLINGTON WEIRDO SEXXX RING AT VIVICCA WHITSET )

13. 2019 I SMOKED W YOU ONCE WHEN YOU WAS BACK FROM HAWIAII.. LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO TAKE UR BLACK CAT ..AINT AHIT HAPPEN AND TOLD YOU I HAD A NIGGA.. FUCK ASS DUMBASS JAMAL RON HENDERSON.. end of July 2020 YOU WANTED TO HANG AND I WANTED TO BANG.. TOU BROUGHT MY NIGGA TRISTAN TO DEAL AND OFF AOGHT WE FELL IN LOVE AND I AINT NEVA BUT I DEFINITELY DID RIGHT THERE SWITCH TF UP .. BOTH YAL NIGGAS FELT IT AND LOWKEY TALKED ABOUT IT AS I WALKED BACK TO THE CAR W MY SISTER 🤷🏽‍♀️🖕🏽 ME YOU AND NEITHER HARRELL BROTHER HAD A FUCKING 3sum TOGETHER.. NIGGA YOU GAY AND FUCKED JARED AND JASON ON YOUR LIL BOYZ TRIP.. DRUG AND RAPE OF JARED H 🖕🏽🙂

14. THE SATURDAY NIGHT YOU CAME THRU TO SMOKE W ME N MY SISTER NIGGA YOU WAS DRUNK AND HIGH AS FUCK .. GOT TO A CHECKPOINT SAID YOU FUCKED THE OFFICERS DAUGHTER AND THEN.. we went to smoke.. KNEW YO ASS WAS GOING TO TRY SOME FUCK SHIT SO I LEFT MY SISTER IN MY CAR AND WE WENT TO URS TALKIN BOUT SOME “get in the back seat” I SAID NO. You tell me I’m not gon do nothing just smoke “I’m like okay” .. nigga smoke session over I’m talking bout some “what’s up w TRISTAN” and you try and pin me to eat the box 🤯 RAPIST . SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN REAL QUICK AND HIT TRISTAN OVED DM REAL QUICK IN FRONT OF YOU .. then that Monday, INSEPARABLE.. BUT YO FUCK ASS PER SUSAN AND THRU LEE VIVICCA WAS ASKED TO KEEP TRISTAN AWAY FROM ME “distracted w bitches” SO TOU DRUGGED HIM AND PUT HIM AROUND QUESTIONABLE PPL.. ie GAY JASON CAN ATTEST AT DUMBASS DAISY FLOREZ TOO THINKING “they dated” RAPE. .. but niggas just pillow talked ABOUT YOU BEING GAY AND FUCKING JASON AND CREW IN MILAN AND TALKING BOUT WEIRD SHIT TO TRISTAN AND JUSTICE OVER FT MAKING IT KNOWN YOU N JASON CREW FUCKED ..

15. ME N TRISTAN PRESSED YOU ABOUT BEING A FUCKTARD AND LYING ON MY NAME AND EVENTUALLY TRISTAN OUT HANDS ON YOU FOR REALLY DRUGGING HIM AND FUCKING US UP BC THIS LITTLE P DIDDY SEX RING YOUR APART OF THRU UR MODELING AGENCY .. BUT LIKE YOU SAT THERE AND LIKE A BITCH DENIED EVERYTHING SO THEN TURNED TO REVENGE PORN AND FUCKED DAISY TO GET BACK AT TRISTAN.. who doesn’t even care about the bitch, SHE A DEATH PET LIKE YOU TO ME N MY BIRTH FAMILY AND HIS FAMILY 🖕🏽🤷🏽‍♀️🙂

Also Daisy.. HOW WAS THE CHLAMYDIA TURNED GONORRHEAONORREA FROM GAY BOY NOAH GOVEN MY JASON AND BUTT SEX FRANCE CREW 🙂 .. DAISY FATASS FUCKED JUSTICE ( forced rape) THOUGHT IT WAS MY COOCHIE COMING THRU WHEN HE BROKE THE COUCH .. so Daisy, FEDERAL. AND NOAH.

NOAH YOU AINT NEVER FUCKED TRISTAN BUT YOU DEFINITELY DID JERK IT A FEE TIMES TO HIM AND TRY TO WATCH ME N HIM 🖕🏽🤷🏽‍♀️

DAISY YA RIDDE W STDS MY NIGGA AINT STICCIN HIS DICK IN THAT .. did a lil trance 1 2 AND RETURNED UR POISONED BACK TO YOU.. #MAGIC and for THE RECORD NOAH ONCE I GOT BACK FROM CLARITY I WAS FUCKING TRISTAN EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY AT YOUR CALABASHES SPOT WHILE HE WAS LYING ABOUT IT BEING DAISY.

[wizard-finix]

I posted 855 times in 2022

That's 330 more posts than 2021!

9 posts created (1%)

846 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@/mmmn-thristy-for-vinegar

@/sanshofox

@/princekirijo

@/kokorozo

@/crescentfool

I tagged 610 of my posts in 2022

Only 29% of my posts had no tags

#art - 241 posts

#p3 - 229 posts

#p5 - 85 posts

#p4 - 70 posts

#fma - 19 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#prompt where everyone at gekkoukan knows about sees as that weird club and aigis being a robot but the number one rule is to not question it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

P3 PORT TO PC LETS FUCKING GOOOOO

3 notes - Posted June 12, 2022

#4

runed scape

OH SHIT LETS GO UHHH

blorbo (fave) - hard to pick but I'll go with vicendithas for this one

scrunkly (friend-shaped char) - seiryu or thok

scrimblo bimblo (underrated) - vicendithas, literally all of the dragonkin tbh

glup shitto (obscure fave) - Mr. Mordaut or Blackstone Dragon. you can sense the theme going on here

poor little meow meow (problematic fave) - lets be honest you dont get more problematic than sliske, he was a fun villain

horse plinko (torment for fun) - world guardian, obviously

eeby deeby (send to superhell) - zaros

3 notes - Posted February 10, 2022

#3

❤️ 💥 👻 🎁 :D

YOOO THANKS FOR THE ASK :D

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

Hmmm it's hard to settle on a single line, but I think it's a tie between this one, from Stygian Ringlet (my p3/p5 fic):

Ryoji remembered that awful night on the Moonlight Bridge, when his world fell apart. The night he remembered everything and instantly wished he hadn’t.

and this one, from a Runescape fic chapter I haven't posted yet:

“You know, I was planning on a nice evening playing cards with the rest of the crew,” Jaida said, still catching his breath. “But no, here I am, stuck in the temple in the middle of the night with you and the Scourge of Wushanko herself, with the only way out being blocked by an army of cultists, mercenaries, and giant crabs.”

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

Ryuji's treatment in P5. I normally don't mind a character being comic relief, he does have some hilarious moments. The problem is that he had the potential to be a really good underdog-type character and have interesting character interactions with the others, but Atlus really did him dirty and squandered his character development by having the entire cast degrade him for the rest of the game. It worked for Yosuke in P4 because he tends to make those kinds of jabs at his friends and often brings it on himself, but it's a lot more one-sided with Ryuji. These people are supposed to be FRIENDS, guys. (I don't even need to say anything about the end of Shido's palace jfc)

(also Kawakami's social link and benefits are uncomfortable as hell so I never used them)

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

OH, THIS ONE. I DEFINITELY HAVE ONE FOR THIS QUESTION. My wildest headcanon:

Shinjiro's persona has a latent berserk ability somewhat similar to Akechi's, and absolutely no one realizes this, not even Shinjiro himself.

I will explain this one, so hear me out.

See the full post

5 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

#2

I really think Chie’s character arc and social link was wasted, like dude her awakening showed that she dealt with feelings of jealousy and comparing herself to others and it was NEVER mentioned again

7 notes - Posted May 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

im gonna cry laughing tumblr mobile hit me dead on

17 notes - Posted April 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[atlabeth]

everything happens for a reason part 17 - zuko x fem!reader

And maybe I don't quite know what to say

part 16 | masterlist | part 18

a/n: finally getting into zuko's redemption arc as well as reuniting yn with sokka!! im so happy bc i really missed writing her with him, their relationship is so special to me. writing 3 chapters straight of prison feels kinda brings the mood down lol so at least its coming back up w/ suki and sokka

this was all gonna be one chapter but it started getting way too long so im splitting it in two. next chapter is their escape from the boiling rock baby !

wc: 6.5k

warning(s): some more angst but a fair amount of fluff as well (yn and sokka reunion!!<3) but mostly angst tbh. yn is very mad at zuko as she should be and sokka kinda gives it to him as well

chapter title comes from 'this is me trying' by taylor swift

“I can’t believe they’re keeping us inside all week,” Suki muttered, dragging the mop across the floor with more irritation than usual. “The only bearable part of this place, and they just take it away.” 

“The warden certainly knows how to keep his prisoners miserable,” Y/N said, wiping at a stubborn patch of grease on the side of the wall with a wet cloth. 

It had been a few weeks since Y/N had found her new home in the loveliest place in all the Fire Nation, and she was beginning to accept her situation. After what Suki pulled, defending her in front of their entire block, no one had messed with her since. And having Suki by her side in the first place, it made being stuck in the Boiling Rock a lot more bearable. They practically became attached at the hip — they were lucky enough to be in the same block in the first place, so during courtyard time, mandated chores, and any other time they weren’t confined to their cells, Y/N and Suki were always together.

It made a world of difference, having someone like Suki by her side after being on her own for so long. They talked constantly, Suki telling her what it was like to grow up on Kyoshi Island and her subsequent journey as a Kyoshi Warrior, and Y/N revealing the story of her upbringing to somebody else in full for the first time. It was the number one source of her shame, the amount of pain and suffering she’d caused both herself and her mother by trusting Zuko, but Suki offered nothing but support. 

One thing, at least, had become clear: they may have gotten into this separately, but they were going to get out of it together. 

“I mean, it’s the middle of the summer!” Suki complained, taking her out of her thoughts. “It’s hot outside, but it’s even worse in here. I would kill for some windows.” 

Y/N’s eyes suddenly widened, and she looked at Suki. “The middle of the summer— I think I know why we’re stuck inside.”

She frowned. “Why?”  

“When I was still with Aang and the rest of the group, we visited this secret underground library with all the knowledge you could ever want. Sokka discovered a Fire Nation secret, some kind of eclipse where all firebending is useless for a short period. It’s called the Day of Black Sun, and,” she lowered her voice, “we were going to invade the Fire Nation that day so Aang could take out the Fire Lord. I think the reason we’re stuck in here is because the eclipse is coming up. It’ll be easier to keep everything together inside than outside, especially if a riot breaks out.”

Suki huffed a laugh as she shook her head. “We’re guarded by a bunch of cowards, then. Can they really be the ‘greatest prison in the Fire Nation’ if they can’t do their job without bending?” 

Y/N managed to stifle her laugh just as a guard walked past them, and she ducked her head as she quickly returned to cleaning the walls. 

“Is something funny, girl?” His voice was gruff and demanding, but while it would’ve made her cower in her shell when she first arrived here, she had since become skilled in the art of keeping her head low. 

“Not at all, sir,” she said, “I apologize for the delay.” 

He stared at her for a moment before huffing in approval and walking away, and Suki just rolled her eyes. 

“I can’t wait until we’re out of here and we don’t have to grovel at their feet anymore.” She shoved her mop back into the bucket of water and sighed. “Just one good punch to the face of every guard in here before we get out, and I think I’d be satisfied.” 

Y/N grinned. “Throw one in there for me and you’ve got a deal.” 

“I think I can manage that,” Suki said, smiling as she played along. 

She laughed again, the mischievous twinkle in Suki’s eye lightening up the atmosphere effortlessly. 

“About this comet though,” Suki said, her expression turning slightly thoughtful, “you’re telling me Sokka’s the one who discovered all of it?” 

Y/N smiled knowingly as she turned away from the wall. “Yeah. You should’ve seen him in action, Suki — the whole library was about to collapse underground, a whole “we’re doomed” situation with no way to get both the information we went there for and get out alive. But then Sokka just jumps into action, he figures out when the eclipse is, and we manage to make it out by the skin of our teeth. If it wasn’t for Sokka, I think we would’ve died about… twenty times before I even had the chance to get here.” She elbowed Suki playfully. “He’s pretty smart, right?” 

The pink flush to her cheeks faded as Suki turned away, a sheepish smile of her own blooming. “We can talk about that later. What I’m curious about is this: if all the guards don’t have their firebending for a period of time, doesn’t that mean it would be the best time to escape this place?” 

“Theoretically, but it would never actually work.” She dipped the rag back into the bucket of water and continued scrubbing at the walls. “We’d never be able to get off the island; the gondola’s the only way out, and we’d be spotted immediately.” 

Suki hummed, but Y/N noticed the gleam in her eye. “What are you thinking about?” she asked. 

“I’m thinking about an escape route.

Y/N raised her eyebrows. “You’re thinking of an escape route out of the inescapable prison?” 

“Obviously.” She turned to Y/N with a smile. “I don’t know how, and it won’t happen this week, but we’re gonna get off of this damn rock. And we’re gonna do it together.” 

Suki’s words, somehow still earnest despite everything they’d been through, brought out a smile of her own. “You really think?” 

“I know,” she clarified, and she took Y/N’s hand in her own and squeezed hard. “The Fire Nation only got us in our weakest moments. But with the two of us, working together? They won’t know what hit ‘em.” 

Y/N bit her lip to hold back her growing amusement, and she nodded as she squeezed back. “Damn right.” 

-

“Zuko?” 

What had started as his attempt at an introduction quickly went south, and his eyes widened as he held up his hands and took a step backwards. It only took a second for the Avatar and his friends to get into their attack stances, and he gulped. He’d been on the other end of their wrath far too many times to underestimate them.

“I promise, I don’t want any trouble.” 

“Then you made a mistake coming here,” Katara retorted, water hovering just above her hands. “What, did you decide you wanted a rematch? I’m happy to help.” 

“No!” he exclaimed, taking another step back. Spirits— she was younger than him, how was she so scary? “No, I’m not here to hurt any of you!” 

“That’s what you said last time,” she scoffed. “Y’know, before you tried to kill us all?” 

“What are you doing here, Zuko?” Aang asked. “How did you even find us?” 

“I know it has to be a surprise—” 

“Not really,” Sokka muttered. 

“—to see me here,” Zuko finished, trying not to let the interruption bother him, “but I swear, it’s for a good reason! I’m— I’m good now, and I think you should let me join your group. I left the Fire Nation, and I’m good now, and I can also teach firebending,” he looked at Aang, “to you.” 

Aang’s eyes widened slightly at the consideration but Katara just laughed mirthlessly. “Do you honestly think any of us are stupid to trust you after all you’ve done? We’ll always have another option than you, Zuko. We’ll never be that desperate.” 

“Where’s your firebending teacher then?” he asked. “If you have other options, then fine. But I don’t think you have any.” 

Katara set her jaw. “We’ll find someone. Anyone but you.” 

Aang looked at him for a good, long moment, and Zuko actually grew hopeful for a second, but it was all dashed when he glanced away and shook his head. “There’s no way we can trust you after all you’ve done. You should leave.” 

Zuko visibly deflated at Aang’s words. “At least… tell Y/N that I was here. I need her to know I’ve changed.” 

The mood noticeably changed at the mention of her, the steeliness to Katara’s eyes and the slight clench of Sokka’s fists the most obvious. They were angry at him, and rightfully so, for what he’d done to her. If only they knew how much turmoil Zuko had gone through over it all. 

“She’s not here,” Katara spat. “I figured you would know that, seeing as you’re the one that got her thrown in jail.” 

His eyes widened. “What?” 

“Are you deaf?” He looked down when he heard the aggressive voice, and was shocked to see it coming from such a small girl. Toph, if he remembered correctly. “She’s not here, and it’s your fault. You should know better than any of us, seeing as she’s still in the Fire Nation.” 

“If you cared so much, you should’ve broken her out,” Sokka said bitterly. 

“I— I tried,” Zuko insisted, and he was quickly realizing how hard it was going to be to get these people to trust him. “Believe me, I tried to get her out, but when I went to her cell she wasn’t there. 

It was somehow still possible as Katara’s glare turned even sharper, and when she took a step forward, he moved back on instinct. “What do you mean, she wasn’t there?”

“She wasn’t there,” he repeated, his eyes slightly wide as he held up his hands. “I— I asked a guard, and he said she was transferred to another prison by my sister, but I haven’t been able to find out where.”

“You know what the Fire Nation does to powerful benders.” Katara’s voice wavered, her blue eyes glimmering with tears. ”How could you let them take her?”

“I tried—” he started, but he didn’t get far.

“You didn’t try at all!” Katara shouted, her voice finally breaking as her hands clenched into fists at her side. “You are the one who did this to her! You are the one who did this to her because she refused to give up on you, and now she could be— she could be dead!”

Katara took a step back as her chest rose and fall with shaky breaths, and the glare she pinned him with was truly murderous. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave and never come back.”

She wiped at the tears streaming down her face and stormed off in the opposite direction, leaving Zuko standing there speechless, unable to do anything but stare with wide eyes.

“Katara!” Aang instantly ran off after her, and Toph took over. 

“You heard her,” she said, her blank gaze not meeting his eyes but somehow able to carry the same steeliness in her tone as Katara. “Leave.”

And as she went off after Aang and Katara, Zuko was left with him and a tension that could be cut with a knife.

“I never wanted this to happen,” Zuko whispered.

“It doesn’t matter,” Sokka said coldly. “It still did.”

And he was right. 

-

It was… strange, to say the least. Being here, with the Avatar and his friends.  

Zuko had only managed to earn himself a spot in the group by near death bravery, but even his fight against the assassin was barely enough to secure it, what with how effortlessly Zuko was able to do the wrong thing in every single situation. 

Telling them he sent the assassin after them in the first place, burning Toph’s feet, offering himself up as a prisoner, even just standing too close to Katara— he was constantly on thin ice with all of them, but especially her. Sokka was a frontrunner as well, but it wasn’t really a surprise. He remembered the way Y/N had spoken about them, how close they were — they had every right to hate him, but it still hurt. All he could do was hope to repair it. 

And he was trying his hardest to do so. He regained his bending with Aang and the two of them came back stronger than ever in terms of firebending. Toph never really had a grudge against him — even though she ragged on him as much as he deserved for burning her feet — so she was mostly fine with him, and he gave Katara her space. He was going to fix that situation, but after the way she threatened him, Zuko figured a lot of time was needed before he even tried. 

As far as Sokka, he didn’t know where he stood with the Water Tribe boy. He knew it would take some time, but what he didn’t know was that this was where he was going to end up not even a day after Sokka asked him about Fire Nation prisons. 

“Pretty clouds,” Sokka observed. 

On a war balloon. Alone, with only Sokka for company, and a deadly mission ahead of them. 

“Yeah… fluffy.” 

…It was certainly his most interesting vacation.

Zuko’s head jerked up when Sokka murmured something and his brows creased. “What?” 

Sokka glanced up at him, that iciness back once again. “You know this doesn’t mean I like you now.” 

“Yeah,” he said. “I… I figured.” 

“I’m just doing this with you because you wouldn’t leave me alone and I needed your war balloon.” He crossed his arms and set his jaw. “I haven’t forgiven you for anything that you’ve done.” 

“I know,” Zuko sighed, and for a moment the only thing that filled the air was the sound of his firebending. “At least I can help with this.” 

“I know how to work a war balloon,” Sokka said, and he rapped his knuckles against the side of the wood. “My friend designed these things. I would’ve figured out how to make the fire if you weren’t here.” 

Zuko raised his eyebrows, trying to lighten the mood a bit. “No kidding. One of your friends designed these war balloons?” 

Sokka looked up at him, his gaze calculating as if he was trying to gauge the truth of his interest. 

“Yeah,” he said eventually. “I helped him polish it up, figure out how to control the hot air. It’s just a balloon, but for war.” 

“Well, If there’s one thing my dad’s good at, it’s war,” Zuko muttered.  

“Yeah, it seems to run in the family.”

Zuko frowned and his tone turned defensive. “Hey, hold on. Not everyone in my family is like that.” 

“I know, I know.” Sokka gestured with his hand. “You’ve changed.” 

“I meant my uncle,” Zuko said. “He was more of a father to me, and I really let him down.” 

“Well… I think your uncle would be proud of you.” Sokka crossed his arms yet again and he looked out at the sky, not wanting to meet Zuko’s eyes as he actually said something nice.  “Leaving your home to come help us? That’s hard.” 

“It wasn’t that hard.” 

“Really? You didn’t leave anyone behind you cared about?”

Zuko shrugged. “There was one girl, Mai. We were dating, but… it felt more like something forged out of expectations rather than love. It felt like we were putting on a front for the approval of our parents rather than being together for ourselves. I still care about her as a friend, though. Enough that I didn’t want to get her caught up in this mess.” 

“And…” he swallowed the lump in his throat as his expression turned downcast. “There was Y/N. She was— she still is— the only girl I’ve ever loved, the way I love her. Ever since I was a child. But I ruined anything we could’ve possibly had together, and now… now, I have no idea where she is, and wherever she is, she hates me.” 

Sokka hummed. “She has every right to.” 

Zuko glared at him. “You’re really not good at this making people feel better thing.” 

“I’m not trying to make you feel better,” he said. “I know you’re trying to become a good guy or whatever, but you deserve to feel bad for what you did. For a pretty long time, too.” 

Zuko braced his hand against his forehead as he turned away. “I know. I just can’t stop thinking about her— about how I treated her, and that the last thing I said to her was that…” 

He trailed off, and Sokka raised his eyebrows. “What?” 

Zuko sighed again and let his hands hang off the side of the boat. “I said that I never loved her.”

“Tui’s gills, man!” Sokka exclaimed. “Yeah, of course she’s gonna hate you for saying something like that. Geez, you go all in when you’re upset, huh?” 

“I didn’t mean it!” Zuko defended as he whirled around. “I— I was just angry at everything, and I wanted to forget her, and I thought that if I said it then it would become true and I would finally be able to move on. But,” he heaved a weary sigh as he sat down, his gaze downcast, “I don’t want to move on. I just want to see her again and apologize for everything. I don’t know if it’ll ever be enough, but I have to try.”

The silence weighed heavily between them yet again, with Zuko staring at the ground and Sokka’s gaze softening ever so slightly as he looked at him. 

“I think you still have a chance,” he said, and Zuko’s eyes widened slightly.

“What?”

“I think you still have a chance,” he repeated. “As much as I hate to say it, Y/N cared about you. A lot. Like, she talked about you constantly when we were all together, a lot. It was honestly kind of annoying.”

“So what’s your point?” he grumbled. 

Sokka sighed. “My point is that you two had a bond— the kind of bond where she risked everything just because of how she felt about you. That kind of bond… it doesn’t just go away.”

“Do you think she’ll even care?” Zuko asked. “After all I’ve done, how can you know she’ll even want to listen to me? How do you know I haven’t completely lost her?”

Sokka was quiet for a moment before he asked a single question. “Do you still love her?”

Zuko answered without hesitation. “With all my heart.”

“Then there’s still time. You haven’t lost her yet.”

He gave him a rare smile and nodded. “Thanks, Sokka. That actually helped.”

He shrugged and looked away. “I mean, it could always be worse. My first girlfriend turned into the moon.”

“…That’s rough, buddy.”

-

Their mission was going about as well as one would think. They had crashed their war balloon leaving them with no way out, nearly gotten discovered seconds after stealing uniforms, and got caught up in a fight in the courtyard, but in the scheme of things they were still on track. 

After dropping off a prisoner they had reunited on one of the balconies overlooking the courtyard, where Sokka was diligently scanning the entire field for any sign of his father. 

“Sokka,” Zuko whispered, managing to grab his attention. “Listen, I asked around the lounge, and they said that there’s one Water Tribe prisoner here — a waterbender transferred here personally by my sister. Does that sound like it could be your dad?” 

He shook his head anxiously. “No, my dad’s not a waterbender. Are— are you sure that’s the only one? Did you double-check?”

“Yeah,” Zuko confirmed. “I’m sure.”

“No,” Sokka muttered, turning away dejectedly. He banged his fists against the wall out of anger. “No! We came all this way for nothing. I failed again.” 

“Um, what would Uncle say?” Zuko thought aloud as he stroked his chin. “Sometimes, clouds have two sides; a dark and a light, and a silver lining in between. So… when life seems hard, take a bite out of the silver sandwich!” 

Sokka looked wholly disinterested during his whole monologue, but when he directed his gaze back to the courtyard he gasped, his grip tightening on the railing. “Maybe we haven’t failed after all.” 

“That’s the spirit!” Zuko grinned. “I can’t believe that worked; I didn’t even know what I was saying.” 

“No, what you said made no sense at all— but look!”

Zuko craned his head to see where Sokka was pointing and his eyes widened when he saw what was talking about it.

It was her.

Standing slightly off to the side idly chatting with another girl, a little worse for wear with a black eye, but alive. 

“She’s here,” Zuko muttered, equal parts awestruck, relieved, and terrified.

“Y/N is the waterbender you heard about! And do you see who she’s with?” Sokka questioned excitedly. “She’s with Suki! Our girls are here, Zuko. They’re okay!”

As Sokka started to spout off his plan, Zuko listened dimly, unable to take his eyes off of Y/N. 

Her eye looked like it was healing, but he gauged that at its initial stage it was something nasty. Seeing her in the red prison jumpsuit was strange — he wondered why she had been transferred here instead of somewhere more resistant to waterbenders, but he pushed logic aside and allowed himself to revel in the temporary relief. 

She was here, and she was alive.

Zuko could only hope she was willing to try again with him. 

-

Y/N heaved another sigh as she rolled onto her back, unable to get comfortable on the slab she called a bed. It was near impossible to fall asleep without the familiar presence of her friends; the soft sounds of their breaths, just the knowledge that they were there with her, was something sorely missed during her prison days. It didn’t help that her cell had been modified to constantly be pumping in dry air so she couldn’t bend — it was a constant reminder of what she lacked, but she suspected it was just in case it magically came back.

Princess Azula truly despised her. 

She sat up and rubbed her eyes, resigning herself to the fact that sleep wasn’t going to come, when her cell door was pushed open. As a guard stepped in, every one of her senses flared up in alert and she immediately darted up from her bed. This couldn’t be anything good.

“I didn’t do anything,” Y/N declared immediately, her voice carrying a bitter edge. She angled herself in such a way that if he did try something, she would hold the advantage. “Nothing that Pao says is ever true, and if you lay a hand on me—”

“What? No, I—“ He paused, and she swore she knew his voice. “Y/N, it’s me!” The guard took off his mask, and she felt her heart stop.

“Zuko?” She hated the way his appearance sent that familiar flutter through her chest but she forced her feelings down, instead focusing on the venom coursing through her veins.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Zuko winced at her harsh tone, his momentarily smile gone as quickly as it appeared. “Spirits, I can’t even get away from you in prison— what, did you come here to gloat?”

“No!” he exclaimed, raising his hands in an effort at placation. “Why would I do that?”

“Oh, I don’t know!” By now she was yelling, unable to contain her rage. “I guess anything is possible with the guy who completely betrayed me!”

“Y/N, quiet down!” he cautioned, casting an instinctive glance to the door. “Someone is going to hear you!”

“Oh?” By now her eyes were blazing, and she raised her arms up as if to challenge him. “Well, maybe I should just get even louder! Think everyone can hear me yet?”

“What are you doing?!” Zuko hissed, heat beginning to emanate off of him as his eyes darted back to the door once more. 

“GUAR—“ she began to shout but Zuko lunged forward and clamped his hand over her mouth, an action that confused her into cooperation. 

“We’re here to get you out!” he whispered frantically. “Now will you please calm down?”

The fire in her eyes died down slightly but she still batted his hand away and stood a step back. “‘We’?”

“Sokka and I.”

“You brought Sokka here?” she accused before mentally backing up. “Wait, how are you even with Sokka in the first place?”

“No— spirits, could you let me explain before you get on my case?” He took her silence as a sign to continue. “I left the Fire Nation, and Aang accepted me as his firebending teacher. Sokka thinks his dad is in here because he got captured during the invasion, so he wanted to come here to try and break him out. I came with him because I didn’t want him going on a suicide mission. We haven’t been able to find him, but we did find you and Suki. Sokka’s guarding the door right now while we talk, then we’re gonna find her and talk her through the plan as well.” 

“If Sokka’s out there, why am I not talking to him?” She crossed her arms and Zuko sighed, averting eye contact. 

“Because I wanted to talk to you,” he admitted quietly. “Y/N, no amount of apologies will be able to get across how sorry I am for what I did to you. There are so many horrible things that I’ve done, but I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you. I will spend the rest of my life regretting what I did to you. I—” he swallowed the lump in his throat, “I still love you. I never stopped loving you. And I’m so, so sorry that I ever made you think differently.”  

Her fingers unconsciously found their way to the small scar on her forearm and her gaze turned downcast. 

How long had she waited to hear those words from him? How many times, on her journey through the Earth Kingdom to the Northern Tribe, had she imagined him saying those words to her? Spirits, at some of her lowest points, the thought of seeing him again, the thought of hearing those words, was the only thing that got her up and moving again. 

And here she was, four years later. Zuko standing in front of her, baring his heart for the first time since they were children. Saying that he loved her, that he had always loved her. 

But despite his earnesty, Y/N could only think of what happened in the catacombs. What happened in the Fire Nation.

Why she was here in the first place. The things he said to her. 

Y/N swallowed thickly as she took a step back, her arms wrapping tightly around her midsection. “Send Sokka in right now, or I will call the guards.” Her voice had lost all the fierceness it possessed moments ago, her words instead carved in a cold, unforgiving anger. 

“Y/N—”

“Now.” 

With one last desperate glance back at her, Zuko obeyed her wishes, closing the door quietly behind him where he met a concerned Sokka.

“That didn’t sound like it went well.” 

Zuko shook his head, his attempt at stoicism failing as he took his place at the wall. “She won’t listen to me. She wants to talk to you, but we have to make it quick so we can make it to Suki before we get caught.” 

Sokka swallowed and nodded, trying to prepare himself to go in. He was overjoyed that she was alive within their reach, obviously, but he had a feeling it would hurt a lot more to see what the past couple months at the mercy of the Fire Nation had done to her. 

“It’s okay,” Zuko murmured, noticing his apprehension. “She’ll be happy to see you. I know it.”

Sokka nodded once more, and before he could question himself he pushed open the cell door and walked in. 

Her eyes flicked up from the ground, her arms falling from their protective positions as a relieved smile tugged at her lips. 

“You really are here,” he whispered, his voice a mix of disbelief and pure happiness. “You’re—” 

He wasn’t granted the chance to finish his sentence as she tore across the room and enveloped him in the tightest hug possible. Though it got a grunt out of Sokka, he immediately reciprocated, wrapping his arms around her with the same vigor. 

“I’m so happy you’re okay,” she whispered, tears brimming in her eyes. “But this is the stupidest thing that you have ever done.” 

Sokka laughed as he squeezed her tighter, and she had almost forgotten how much she missed that dumb little laugh after every bad joke he made, and the way that he always hugged her a little too tight. 

(She didn’t think that would be a problem anymore — Sokka’s hugs always felt like a safety blanket, but now she felt like she could cry with how needed that comfort was. She was pretty sure she would annoy him, hugging him over every little thing, just to make sure she never forgot that feeling.) 

“I can’t believe you’re here,” he muttered, taking a step back to look over her with concerned eyes. “Are you okay? What happened to your eye?” 

“Neither can I,” she chuckled mirthlessly. “I’m as good as I can be, I guess. Still alive, which is all I can really ask for here.” She gestured to her eye lazily and sighed. “Let’s just say that people here don’t take too kindly to outsiders, especially when they work with the Avatar.” 

“I’m so sorry that this happened to you,” Sokka said quietly. “I— I wish that I had been down there that night. Maybe you wouldn’t have gotten caught up in this whole mess.” 

“It’s not your fault, Sokka. You can’t blame yourself for something you weren’t involved in.” She smiled weakly. “And besides, I’m still here. I’m okay.” 

“Of course you are.” Sokka’s hands hovered over her shoulders, like he didn’t know how fragile she was. Like if he even looked at her the wrong way, she would break like glass. “The Fire Nation’s never been able to take you down.” 

“I mean… I am in an inescapable Fire Nation prison. I think they got me there,” she said dryly. 

Sokka snapped his fingers and took a step back. “Right! Except it’s not inescapable, because we’re gonna bust you out of here..” 

“You— you are?” she asked, surprised. “How long have you been here?” 

He shrugged. “Half a day, give or take.” 

And for some reason, that was the thing that got her. Her eyes filled with tears and she pulled him back into a hug so tight she was sure he couldn’t breathe, but right now Y/N didn’t really care. 

“I missed you so much,” she whispered, a watery laugh breaking through. 

“I missed you too,” he said back, just as softly, and she didn’t even have to look at him to know he was on the brink of tears as well. “Azula— she used you against me. I thought you were dead, Y/N. I don’t know what I would’ve done if she… if it was true.”

She frowned as she pulled away. “She used— what do you mean?” 

Sokka swallowed thickly. “She said you were a prisoner. That— that you were tortured, and through it all you called out my name. Like I should’ve been there, and— and I should have. I should have been there to protect you, but I wasn’t, and now you’ve been through all of this…” 

Sokka shook his head again. “I am so sorry, Y/N. I’m never letting you out of my sight again.”  

She smiled and laughed, a bit breathless. “No complaints here.” 

“But I have been wondering,” Sokka said suddenly, “why did Azula put you here? It’s either really cocky or really stupid to put a waterbender in a prison surrounded by water, no matter how many guards there are. Have you tried to escape yourself?” 

Y/N’s expression sobered and she turned away a bit. Her bending was still the sorest of subjects — every day, when she would be out in the courtyard, she would feel even more useless about not being able to do anything but stare out at the water. 

“It’s… it’s gone.” She saw Sokka’s eyes widen out of her peripherals and she wrapped her arms around her midsection. “My bending is gone, and Azula put me here as one last way to rub salt in the wound that keeps growing.” 

“What?” There was real concern in both his gaze and his voice, but Y/N couldn’t even stand to look at him. Not when she was incapable of even the most basic things. “Your bending— it’s gone?” 

“I don’t know,” she said with a mirthless chuckle. “I— I don’t know. It happened after I was imprisoned in the Fire Nation— maybe it’s because I’m so weak, or maybe it’s because I haven’t practiced it in so long, or maybe it’s a million other things, but all I do know is that I can’t bend anything. So I can’t help you with that.” 

“Y/N.” Sokka reached for her hand and she let him take it, a comforting warmth in it. “Zuko… he lost his bending when he first joined us. I know you don’t want anything to do with him, but maybe he could help you get it back.”

She scoffed as she pulled her hand away. “Sokka, I’d rather lose my bending forever than work with him. I don’t want to be around him— not after what he did.” 

He sighed and gave her a look that could only be described as brotherly, the same one he gave Katara whenever she wanted to do something stupid. 

“You’re hurting, Y/N, I know. And— and you’re allowed to be angry, and to hate Zuko, and to want absolutely nothing to do with him, but I won’t let you hurt yourself because of it.” At her silence, Sokka continued. “You need to get out of here, and you need to get your bending back. You’re gonna have to work with Zuko to do both of those things, and then you can go back to hating him. But just— hold out for a few more days.” 

“He burned me in the catacombs,” Y/N whispered, and she held out her arm for him to see the scar from the attack. “He burned me just to get the upper hand, just like he did in the Earth Kingdom. I’m in here because of him. I’ve never mattered to him, not if he could just throw me away like this. So why should I give him even a second of my time?” 

“Because hurting yourself will do nothing for you,” he said decisively. “If you want to get back at Zuko, then you have to get out of here first. And as much as I hate to say it…” Sokka sighed and shook his head, “my plan won’t work without him. So let him help me get you and Suki out of here, figure out a way to get your bending back, and then you can bring down all your fury on him.” 

She glanced away, her gaze pointed towards the floor for a good long moment before she finally spoke. 

“You really have a way to get out of here?” 

Sokka nodded. “I just need maybe a little longer to work out the kinks, but it’ll be solid. It’ll get us all out of here; the two of us and you and Suki.” 

Y/N sighed and looked back at Sokka. “Okay. I’ll work with him to get out of here, but nothing more.” 

“I’m not asking you for anything more,” Sokka said. But then he smiled, and he chuckled a bit. “It’s so good to see you again. It’s… it’s been hard without you.” 

She frowned. “Really?” 

“Yeah,” he nodded. “It’s really taken a toll on Katara. She blames herself for what happened because she was down in the catacombs with you.” His voice got quieter. “We both do.” 

“It’s not either of your faults,” she said. “It’s the Fire Nation’s fault. It’s Zuko’s fault.” 

“I’m just glad we found you,” he said. “You and Suki.” Sokka smiled a bit. “Has she been keeping you on track?” 

Y/N laughed. “I’d say so. She’s the reason this,” she pointed at her eye, “isn’t a whole lot worse. I owe a lot to her.” 

“We’re gonna get you both out of here,” he said again. “And as much as I don’t want to leave—” 

“You have to,” she nodded. “Go talk to her. I’ll be okay. I don’t really have anywhere else to go.” 

Sokka chuckled again and nodded. “I know.” 

He pulled Y/N into one last hug before he left, and she caught a glimpse of Zuko on the other side as Sokka closed the door softly behind himself. 

Her cell felt a lot quieter, lonelier, colder without Sokka. She knew he would be coming back, but she missed him already. She’d always hated being alone, but it hurt more now than ever before. 

But it gave her the chance to let her walls down. She collapsed onto her bed as the tears quietly wracked her body, forcing herself to stay silent as they trailed down her face. It was one thing to be heard yelling, it was another thing to be seen showing this much weakness. 

Weeks, months of pent up emotions began to show themselves, greedy after finally being granted an outlet. Seeing Sokka on its own was emotional enough, but Zuko was a whole different situation. 

Y/N thought that finally getting to yell at him would’ve made her feel better in some way, but it only succeeded in making it all worse. She didn’t feel happy, cleansed, righteous. 

She felt nothing. 

The hours blended together until the wells in her eyes ran dry, and somewhere along the path she managed to fall into a restless sleep. Some part of her was angry that he hadn’t fought back the way she did, that he hadn’t yelled back — she wanted something physical to hold against him, something to make it easier to hate him than the abstract betrayal. Maybe that was stupid. It was even more stupid of him to think he had any chance of a civil conversation with her after what he did. 

Maybe she would have to work with him to get out of this place, band together under a temporary truce in order to officially cleanse herself of the prisoner brand. She could put herself through that if the reward at the end of it all was getting her life back. 

But not anything more. 

Y/N had vowed to never let Zuko in again. 

And she never broke her vows. 

-

perm tags: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77 @simonsbluee @kwyloz @masteroperator

ehfar tags: @chandies-sideblog @zacatecanaaaa @anzanity @randomthingssss @escapingthoughtsandsecrets @shanksfav @shephard17895 @ilovespideyyy @carisi-sonny @selfship-mishaps @ilistentotayswifttocope @i-make-questionable-choices @3leni @thatobsessedreader @lostgreekgod @oriontingz @zerode-unhinged @badpvn @mimi-sanisanidiot @adhdhufflepuff @aquaamethyst96 @hollyismentallyillhelp @holypoetrygarden @islandgayneery

[znikitrash]

ok i want to talk about art and neurodivergence (i have adhd)

i've been stuck in a real rut of 'i am unproductive and it makes me feel like crap, and because i feel like crap i'm not productive' and it suuucks

sometimes i want to draw. sometimes i do have the want like 'yeee i wanna draw now:))'

now comes the decision, where to draw?

sketchbook? sketchbook is basically a 'drawings that will never get finished' hell. also the small amout of space on the page annoys me

actual physical Paint? nu-uh, most of the time i dont have the executive function to take out all of my paints and prepare my painting station. also painting takes a shit tone of time and i will probably lose motivation in the middle and will just have another unfinished piece collecting dust in the corner by the end

digital art? yeeeea no. the nature of not looking where i'm drawing while drawing is so confusing. although i have been doing digital art for years now, it still feels unnatural and i feel like my lines are constricted and suck ass

That's why i am SO EXCITED that im finally getting a graphic tablet With a Screen On It (one of those fancy ones~). it has literally been a dream of mine for years but i've besn putting it off because 'aah what difference will it make, i can draw on the tablet that i have, what does it matter??'

The thing is it Does Matter. It matters so much. All of these things like ADHD and perfectionism are blocking me from creating art. And if I'm not going to enjoy the process of making something, I'm not gonna make it. I can fool myself as much as I want but the truth is that as long as creating is Frustrating, my brain will refuse to do it.

I'm so so so excited for this

I hope i remember to update this post when i actually get my tablet, if it feels any different :))

[btsslowburnfic]

Series Summary: For Namjoon, the moment he set his sights on being the #1 rapper, he pushed the symbol to the side and hated it. Love should be chosen, not forced on you. He didn’t believe in fate and this mark on his wrist was a big “fuck you” to all that.

AN: a loooong update where we get YN to Korea Previous Chapter here

The three of you made it safe and sound to your new brownstone across the river in New Jersey. Joe has a job lined up, but at the moment you and Xavier are unemployed. On this particular day, you are in your room job hunting when you hear a knock on your bedroom door and then see Xavier gently push it open. “Fly your ass to Korea. Now. Here,” Xavier throws a book at you. “I bought you a Korean dictionary.”

You roll your eyes. “Namjoon speaks English. And I can’t read the characters or whatever so how will a dictionary help. And, I’m not going to Korea.”

Xavier crosses his arms in front of his body. “Girl. You are still in your twenties. You have no job. There is a hot man who is also your soulmate across the ocean. GO TO KOREA.” You pick your phone back up, ignoring him. You hear him let out a frustrated sigh and leave the room. You didn’t know what you wanted. You didn’t tell them that Namjoon had passed along his schedule to you and that he would be in Korea for 6 weeks starting in two weeks and that he had offered to buy you a plane ticket. You kept going back and forth. Fine. Fuck it.

YN: Hey! I’ve been thinking and I would like to come visit. As long as it’s not too much trouble and won’t interfere with your schedule

You let out a breath and put the phone down. One thing you have learned is that he keeps very strange hours and there is no way of knowing when he will be awake, when he will be performing, or even what country he is in. You are shocked when you receive a reply instantly.

NJ: It’s no problem. I will be working a lot of the time, but there is also some free time blocked out so make sure you’re ready to do some sightseeing as well on your own. I’ll rent a noona for you.

YN: I have no idea what that means but ok. Sounds exciting.

NJ: You can rent tour guides. An “older sister” to translate and show you around on some of the days.

YN: That would be amazing! Ok. Sounds great!!

NJ: I’ll book the flight and email you the information.

YN: Awesome ^_^ Thank you so much.

You try to keep your cool. You really do. But it doesn’t last long as you sit the phone down and walk out into the hallway. “Xavier!”

“What? Brat.” You hear him call from the living room.

“I’m going to Korea!” You say with a big smile on your face.

“Holy shit. You’re doing it!?! Really? When?” He sits up straight on the couch.

“I’m not sure. He’s booking the flight.”

“Oh my God. Oh my God. IT’S HAPPENING. Come. Sit here. Let’s watch some Kdramas. We need to prepare you.”

You roll your eyes but join him on the couch anyway.

--3 weeks later--

The flight isn’t too bad. When Namjoon booked your ticket you did secretly wonder if he would spring for an upgraded seat since you know...you guessed he was rich. You did not expect that he was going to pay for a first class seat though. The comfort of the seats and the fact that food was actually delicious helped to balance out the longest flight you had ever taken in your life. You managed to get some rest on the plane, but not very much since you were so excited and nervous. You had not seen each other for a while. And the last time you saw him you were both naked.

When you arrive you don’t have any bags to collect; you just brought your carry-on. You know you are going to do a lot of shopping while you are there and had decided you would just buy a suitcase there. You walk down to departures and scan the crowd looking for your name. This was so exciting. You had been the person in the crowd holding a name placard before, but you had never had it done for you. It helped that it was one of the few names written in English. You smile and walk over to a man in a suit.  After confirming each other’s identity, you follow him out to a black SUV with tinted windows. He takes your bag and you slide into the backseat. 

YN: Hey! I’m on my way to the hotel. When will I get to see you?

NJ: Yeah….about that. There is no way I would be able to just be going in and out of a hotel without anyone here noticing. This isn’t LA. We can’t really go out in public much here. The driver will be taking you to my apartment complex. Once you get here, you will let security know who you are. They will provide you with a key and directions.

You weren’t expecting this at all, but it made sense.

YN: Umm ok. Sounds like a plan. 

You hoped to God someone at the security office spoke English. Oh well. You typed some things into your translation app just in case and tried to enjoy the scenery. It was a city, but it seemed a lot cleaner than LA. Less sunny, and more modern. At least the parts you were driving through.

After a fifteen minute taxi ride that has brought you into a very fancy part of Seoul you try to keep your cool as your driver assures you that this is the location you are supposed to be at. It is fancy looking as fuck and has a giant ass gate around it. The driver pulls up and shows his credentials and then pulls up and rolls your window down.

The security officer stands there, looking at you. You pull out your passport and state your name. He looks over a sheet of paper and nods. Handing you an envelope that feels like it has a keyboard and some papers in it. You thank him in shitty Korean and the driver closes the window. You open the envelope.

“Hey. If you’re getting this, I wasn’t able to get off work in time to meet you. The driver knows which building to go to. Use this key to go to unit 4106. Text me when you get there. Sorry!

Namjoon”

The chauffeur drives between several of the buildings. The streets are lined with trees and there appeared to be several small gardens between the buildings. The car comes to a stop outside building 4. The driver gets out to open your door and hands you the bag. You thank him and head into the building.

The apartment building was a lot like a luxury hotel, you find yourself thinking. It was decorated similarly with gilded light fixtures and a marble floor. You scan your key card at the elevators and head up to the 10th floor. 

It becomes very obvious from the minute you walk in that this is Namjoon’s actual apartment. His giant shoes are all over the foyer.  You purse your lips and take out your phone.

YN: YOU DIDNT SAY IT WAS YOUR APARTMENT

NJ: Relax sweetheart, the guest bedroom is for you. I’m hardly ever there. Make yourself at home and I’ll see you later ;p

YN: THATS NOT THE POINT

NJ: You’re welcome. Stop being a brat and enjoy.

You pout a little bit. Fine. Fine. You’ve already slept with him so why does it matter if this is his apartment. Because it feels so much more intimate, you think. You enter into the space while texting Xavier.

YN: New chapter in the Kdrama series. 

You knew Xavier would normally be sleeping, but he was so excited and wanted to make sure you made it safely he was wide awake.

X: Oh no, what?

YN: he didn’t arrange for me to stay in a hotel IM AT HIS APARTMENT.

X: AHAHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT. Is it nice? Is there like a waterfall? Does it smell like rich people? Send pictures!

YN: I don’t think I should send pics since he’s famous, but there are no waterfalls that I can see. It smells normal. Actually no, it smells new, like people don’t really live here. Stay tuned for updates.

X: Has he dicked you yet?

YN: -_- he’s stuck at work. And I’ll be in the guest bedroom thankyouverymuch.

X: Yeah….ok…..suuuuuuure.

You put your phone back in your pocket and continue to wander around the apartment. It is the size of a house. There is a small terrace running  along the side of the unit and three open rooms that flow together. I guess rich people need more than one living room? You wonder. They are all furnished with couches and art. The floors are a beautiful Marble. Or Granite. Some expensive imported thing. You notice several plants on the wall as well as out on the terrace. Huh. I did not think he would be into plants, you find yourself thinking.

YN: Nice plants

NJ: My pride and joy

You smile and walk into the kitchen. It looks like a showroom. You doubt much cooking goes on here. If you could afford to eat out all the time you would too. You open the fridge and as predicted, it is mostly empty. There are a few bottles of water and some random condiments. Panic strikes you as you begin to wonder if there’s a coffee maker in this apartment. This could be a deal breaker; you might have to flee to the Marriott. There isn’t one sitting out. You frantically open cabinets. You make eye contact with a very fancy looking Espresso maker. Ok. You will learn how to use this beast. You sit it out on the counter and plug it in. Crisis averted for now. You continue through the rest of the house. You quickly find the master bedroom. Big bed. That’s all you take note of before closing the door. You don’t want to be nosy. You wander to the other end of the apartment and find an extra bedroom and an office. You don’t go to the office, but do take your stuff into the guest bedroom. You are feeling tired and starting to feel hungry.

YN: When will you be back? Is there a convenience store nearby? I need coffee and/or food.

NJ: Sorry. It will still be a while. Actually there are several stores on property. The closest one is in building 2. Here, download the app. I’ll send you the login info.

YN: Thanks.

You change out of your traveling clothes into real clothing and head to the market. The apartment complex’s layout is fairly easy to understand once you look at the app. You walk over to tower 2 and ride the elevator to the market level. It looks like the atrium of a cruise ship. There is a giant crystal chandelier hanging in the middle of the lobby area as well as beautiful indoor trees, glass art bulbs, probably a peacock or two wandering around, and some light music playing in the background. Oh God. I should just starve. This is too fancy. I need to leave.  

You turned to leave when you heard a voice speaking politely in Korean. You ignore it, and then hear the same voice ask in English,  “Excuse me, Miss. Can I help you?” A short man in his 50’s walked over. “I’m on the concierge staff here. You must be new.” 

“Ah yes. Thank you. Umm...Coffee please?”

“Of course. Take-away or beans?”

“Both please?” You ask, trying to keep it simple and very thankful for the English.

“Yes of course. If you just get me the unit number I can actually just have it sent there. Also there is an ordering and delivery app you can use next time if you would like to save yourself the walk.” The man explained while he typed some information into a tablet. 

“That’s very helpful. Thank you. For today, now please.” 

“Very well miss, please insert your chip or resident card here and sign,” he turned the tablet towards you. You inserted your debit card.  

“Thank you. Please wait.”

You take a seat in the fancy lobby area and get out your phone. You had some messages from Namjoon.

[NJ]: Oh, there is also an app you can download and order groceries to the apartment. 

[NJ]: I usually eat at work so I forget about it.

[NJ]: Sorry, you probably already hiked there.

A smirk crossed your face as you started to type a response.

[Y/N]: Sorry, I just saw these. And no worries. It’s a beautiful part of the complex. I was a little overwhelmed to be honest but the concierge was very helpful!  10/10 recommend.  

You take a picture of the lobby area and send it to him.

[NJ]: wow, yeah that’s beautiful. I haven’t actually been there myself.

The concierge returns, handing you a coffee and a bag of coffee beans.  You thank him profusely one more time.

“My pleasure. Take care.”

You sit the beans down and pose with your coffee cup, snapping a selfie to send to Namjoon.

[Y/N]: There, now all is right with the world ^_^

[NJ]: :) See you soon!

You travel back to the apartment and unpack your suitcase. You try your hardest to stay awake, but at this point you have been up for over 24 hours and you can feel the pull of sleep. You’ll just lay down for a nap. 

---------

It is dark outside by the time Namjoon gets off work. He feels bad he couldn’t meet you in the car at the airport, and even worse that he’s kept you waiting for hours. You haven’t answered any of his texts these past few hours either. He opens the door to his apartment. The lights are off. Did you leave? He wonders. He flips on the light and sees your shoes by the door which put a smile on his face. You must be sleeping. He hasn’t actually been in his apartment for about 2 months. It was mostly the same as he left it, except most of the time when he returned the apartment had a stale smell from having been left empty. This time it smelled like coffee and girl.

He enters the main living area and finds you laying in a small blanket nest on the couch with a laptop on the table; a coffee cup resting on a coaster next to it. He smiles and goes through to his bedroom to deposit his travel bag. He washes his face and changes clothes and then proceeds to nervously pace. Should he wake you up? You were probably tired, but at the same time, to prevent jet lag you shouldn’t sleep too much, and he wanted to hang out with you. He wrestles with this issue for a while and then decides he will try to wake you up.

He gently shakes your foot, “Hey sleepy. Wake up.” 

“Mmmmmmmmmmm…” you respond. What’s happening? You kick the thing bothering your foot. So annoying. You hear a deep voice laugh. Oh shit, where were you again? The shaking of your foot resumes and you crack open one of your eyes and see Namjoon sitting on the couch. “Heyyyy.”

“Hey there sweetheart. Nice seeing you in Korea.”

You feel your heart do a little flip flop at the way he’s talking to you but you want to play it cool. “Yeah. It’s good to be here.” You stretch out and move to sit up.

“How are your legs doing?” He asks.

“Good. They get stiff pretty easily and I still have to do my exercises everyday but they don’t hurt most of the time or anything. I get pretty bad headaches from time to time, but you already knew that. Sorry about that by the way.”

“It’s fine, I just carry aspirin around with me now.” He shrugs. “Did you get any food? Should I order something?”

“Yeah. Order some super Korean food.” You are fully awake now.

“Yeah? You serious? It’s not going to be like Koreatown food.” He teases

“Might as well jump in. If I don’t like it, there’s always rice, right?” You smile.

“That’s true,” he takes out his phone to order dinner.

“What did you do today?”

“Today was planning for the Festa. Even though it’s months away we have to make sure we have enough content planned just in case there are any unforeseen delays.”

“Cool.” You say. You had done your basic level ARMY research so you were somewhat familiar with their different activities.

“How was your flight? You should probably get up and stretch those legs around. Get up.” He pushes your shoulder playfully.

“Ughhh….fine. By the way. Nice apartment. Is rent like 20 grand a month?” You stand up groaning slightly like an old woman. Damn stiff legs.

“Uhh...I paid 6 million dollars for it up front so I don’t pay rent. Do you want anything to drink?”

It’s a good thing you weren’t drinking anything when he dropped that little factoid on you or you would have spit it out comic-book style. Jesus. That explained the security and Gucci grocery store. “Uh water please.” You walked over following him to the kitchen. “It’s good to see you by the way. Thanks for inviting me.” You slowly remember how to speak like a human again.

“Sure. I wish I had more free time to spend with you, but I’m glad you were able to make it.” He fills a glass with water for you. “Wait a minute! Before I forget,” he jogs out of the room and returns with a small box. “Here, this is for you. We were in Australia last month and I wanted to get something for you.”

You are surprised. It didn’t occur to you that he would think about you or buy you something. Until a few months ago you had considered yourself a nuisance. “Wow, thank you so much. You didn’t have to do that.” you say, taking the box, “I hope it’s a tiny KNOIFE or tiny koala or tiny kangaroo,” you open the box. It is an adorable mug with a Koala on it superimposed on the Australian Continent. It says in English, “Lucky Australian Koala.” You burst out laughing, cupping the mug with both your hands in front of your face. “This is perfection. Thank you so much for my authentic LUCKY AUSTRALIAN KOALA, I cannot wait to drink out of him tomorrow. Seriously. “ You sit the mug on the kitchen table. Fuck it. “Come here,” you gesture, and pull him in for a hug. His body feels solid against your and he gently wraps his arms around you. You give a firm squeeze. “Thank you for the mug and for flying me out here.”  You pull away and smile at him. 

He looks away almost shy, “It was nothing. I figure I still owe you a few for the pen incident.”

You take a drink of the water. “Yeah. You have had some dickish moments.” 

“Speaking of dickish behavior...do you want to talk about what happened with Ben or…?”

You shrug. “There’s not a lot to say. Ben apparently met his soulmate about 4 months before the car accident. He tried to stay away since we had already agreed that we didn't care about stuff like that. But he couldn't. I don't know when he started seeing Jessie behind my back. They were apparently banging all summer in the apartment and while I was in the hospital.” You take another gulp of water. Namjoon is surprised that he isn’t feeling much anger or sadness coming off of you. “After I got all my shit out of the apartment and had a chance to calm down, I couldn't be too mad about it you know? You and I had already slept together and most people aren't as stubborn as us. So really, how could they resist? I mean I was angry and sad at the time but at this point it seems like a lifetime ago. "

Namjoon had never asked about what had happened with Ben before, assuming that if you wanted to talk about it you would have brought it up. " Wow. "

"Yeah. I mean that's waaaay oversimplified but that's the gist of it. Anyways. Everything was a mess for me for a while. You know I stayed with Xavier and Joe and then  Xavier's husband got a really good job offer here so we all picked up and left LA."

“And now you’re in New York.” He finishes your thought

“Yeah. Well Jersey technically because rent is $1000 less a month. But I’m applying for jobs as assistant director at tv stations and theaters. I’m hopeful something will come up. I can’t really teach fitness classes anymore.”

Namjoon listens thoughtfully, feeling like a jackass for never asking about this stuff before. What kind of soulmate was he? 

“Well, let me know if you need a job reference.”

“Ahahahaha,” You laugh awkwardly. “No way. I don’t want people thinking I only got a job because I know someone famous.”

“Sweetheart, that’s how everyone gets jobs in the industry.” He leans against the counter.

“I don’t know, I’ll think about it.” You fidget

“You know I’ll just text Xavier and he’ll tell me the companies you applied for.” Namjoon flashes his dimples at you.

You scowl. “I didn’t realize you two were so chummy.”

“Hey, we bonded a lot in the hospital.” His phone let out a chirp. “The food is at the security office. I’ll be back in a few. Make yourself at home.” He heads over to the foyer to slip his shoes on. 

You decide to unpack and then wash your face and brush your teeth before returning to the main area where he has just returned. “That was fast”, you comment, meeting him near the door and taking a bag from his hands.

“I rode my bike over.” He replies, following you to the kitchen. 

“They let your clumsy ass ride a bike?” You tease, pulling food out.

He lets out a laugh, “Yeah. Just remember, only one of us has got hit by a car.”

“Touche. Touche. Alright. I don’t know what any of this is, so I’m going to go wait at the table like a lazy bitch.”

“Haha, fair enough. I’ll bring it over. “

You head over and have a seat at the dining table, placing your water down. This feels so weird. So intimate. He joins a few minutes later placing a bunch of food on the table along with a spoon and chopsticks.

“I’m sure there’s a fork around here somewhere if you need one.” He says as he opens the lids on the containers.

“I lived in LA where we ate sushi almost every day, I think I’ll be ok.” You sass back, ,looking over all of the delicious food. You start to dig in. He sits waiting to see what your reaction will be. You flash him a thumbs up as you chew. It’s definitely good. He smiles and begins to eat as well.

Dinner is relatively quiet. You had no idea how hungry you were until you started to eat. Some of the foods had a texture you didn’t quite care for, but overall you liked it all.

“Wow. That was delicious. Thank you so much.” You smile

“It was. You’re welcome.” He gets up and starts to clear the table and you join him. 

You continue to yawn involuntarily as the two of you straighten up the kitchen,

“Do you want some coffee or a nap?” he asks.

“I’m going to try and stay awake a little bit longer. What does the rest of the night look like?”

“Relaxing. I am exhausted from work. And you don’t look so fresh yourself. LEt’s watch a movie or something.” He says it so casually. Like this is a normal thing the two of you do. Like it hasn’t been months since the last time you saw each other and you left him naked and alone in a bed. You feel your heartbeat speed up.

“Hold on, I’m changing into some comfy clothes before I make this commitment.” you get up and head towards your room.

You come back in leggings and a shirt. Namjoon has re-positioned himself on the end of the couch. You sit next to him. “Ok, all set,” you grab your blanket. 

“You take your comfort quite seriously,” Namjoon laughs as he hits the play button. 

“Definitely,” you respond, yawning. After about half an hour, It’s dark outside, the night spilling into the living room. You are trying to keep your eyes open. You feel Namjoon put his large arm around you. You don’t resist, you nestle into it. You feel the warmth of his body radiating against you. It feels so nice.You try to stay awake but your eyelids grow heavy.  The next thing you know, you wake up slowly, not quite oriented to where you are. Your face is sweaty. You take stock of your surroundings. You are still in the living room. You must have fallen asleep while watching the movie. You move a bit and realize you are not alone. Namjoon is asleep as well. Underneath you. Oh god. You probably trapped him. Is that your drool on his shirt? You wonder. But you know that yes, it definitely is. Jesus [Y/N].Not making a great impression here.  Must sneak out so the drool will dry before he wakes up. You move as stealthy as possible off of him, which is very difficult since you found yourself laying between his legs. How did you even get like that? You had gone in for a light snuggle to see how it would be received and then apparently passed out dead. No more starting movies when you were tired. You knew it was your weakness. 

The poor man probably had to pee and was stuck, forced to lay underneath you until he fell asleep.    Is he snoring? Huh. Well ok. You drool and he snores. Very attractive individuals. You grab a blanket from your nest on the other side of the couch and put it on top of him. You sneak down the hallway to your bathroom, pee and sneak into your bedroom. You lay down and try to fall asleep, but your heart is beating fast as all you can think about it falling asleep on Namjoon. You feel your face grow warm. You are  a mix of turned on and embarrassed. You turn off your light and wonder if he will still want to go sightseeing with your drooly-ass tomorrow.  @calling-dips-on-j-hope​​  @ghostkat23​​ @cuteipat​​ @marianeamine​​@thisisval​​ @almonte12​​  @themisunderstoodblackswan​ @bobbyboops​  @betysotelo18​ @katerbees​

[whirlybirdwhat]

Heyo~ I just wanted to say that your fanfics have inspired me to write my owns, they're so good!!

But my writing isn't nearly as good, do you have any advices for this starting writer? <3

oh my gosh anon !!!!!! im ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ !! im so glad they inspire you, and I wish you all the best on your writing!!! you got this, and please link them if/when you post!!!! 👀👀👀

as for advice - i got a few things!

first off, your writing is yours, and - especially in fic - there isn't necessarily a type of 'good' writing, just different skill sets! for instance, i find that my weak point is dialogue, while im great at worldbuilding + emotions. another writer might be the opposite, but it doesn't mean my writing is 'bad' and theirs is 'good' or the reverse, simply that we have different strengths! as you grow as a writer, you will find your strengths and learn to grow them, and your weak points! there is truly no standard, so don't put yourself down!!

moving on to more advice however - (EDIT: theres a tldr at the bottom because sorry, i rambled a bit!!)

1. write. it doesn't matter where, it doesn't matter when, it doesn't matter how! I have written fics on sticky notes in the middle of class (whiskey peak chapter of esom) on discord in the span of a few hours (make a choice (turncoat hero)) and in my notes apps (the ace/yamato fic i posted)!! if you learn to write anywhere you please, this will keep ideas from leaving your mind, and allow you to get into the zone that there doesn't have to be a set time to write!

2. length never matters for a fic. If 100 words is all it takes to write what you want to write, then 100 words is all it takes! don't let the general adoration for long fics to scare you off from writing, and write what you're comfortable with. I know writers who only write chapter fics, and writers who will only write one shots (then there's me, who tries to do both at once lol.)

3. when i am lost with the plot of a fic, the first thing i do is draft an outline of what i want to happen next. this is just a simple bullet point outline, in the general fashion of, say

- luffy gets a different hat post pirate king

- monkey steals hat

- luffy calls for zoro

- zoro sleeping?? sanji kicks him then fight

- the monkey is revealed as the red haired pirates monkey

- shanks shows up "miss me anchor?" party time

brief, follows a simple set of actions, perhaps one or two lines that i thought of while writing, and gives me a skeleton to follow so that when i lose myself in a fic i know where i can go next. Some people find it useful to do this at the beginning with a super detailed plot, and others never write a outline at all! it depends again on how you grow as a writer, so don't be afraid to try different things out when you approach a fic

4. stuck on a part? writer block? can't focus? get up drink a glass of water, and get back to writing! i find this helps me get refocused on writing when i am stuck, a little body 'wake up' as you will.

5. never EVER delete a scene from a fic. never. NEVER. move that scene to another doc, put it in a 'scrapped writing' folder, idc, but never delete it entirely. it helps you grow as a writer, and you can always put the scene back/reword it, etc. i cannot count on my hands how many times i have reworked a previously scrapped portion of a fic and came out the better for it!

6. having multiple wips is okay!! celebrate it even!! i always have at least five docs for five separate fics up on my computer at all times so i can shuffle between them when writing and write what im inspire for in that moment. its okay if you never make headway on one of them, as long as the ideas keep flowing

7. want to get something out quick? word wars are your friend - set a timer for 15 minutes, and write as many words as you can. this is especially fun if you have someone doing it with you, so you can compare counts at the end and share your story!!

8. writing, like all art, takes time. and, generally, there is a chance you will write faster when you first set out to write then you will later, because later, you will be more conscious of your word choices and be more deliberate and careful in your plot, rather than just churning out works. It's okay if you don't churn out 5k a day - writing is not an obligation!

9. have. fun. im serious! write what you want to write, even if it seems no one will love it or like it or want to read it - write what brings you joy, what makes you smile, even if it's something that's been done a thousand times before!! this is what fic is, for your own personal enjoyment. Additionally, do not be discouraged if there's a low amount of reviews for something you put your heart and soul. it sucks ass, yes, (i have a couple fics i love which have only gotten like, a quarter of attention of some of my other fics) but ultimately, the idea you wrote down is one you want to see in the world!! it doesn't quite matter what anyone else likes.

10. grammarly, word counter, word, etc - anything with a spellcheck is your best friend, and will generally catch things you miss if you cant find someone to proofread for you. additionally, if you want to be more critical of your fic, look for friends tto give constructive critcism, but know that you absolutely do not have to accept it from any stranger online unless you asked specifically for it.

11. fanon is fanon and popular headcanons are popular headcanons and both are absolutely not canon. you do NOT have to follow it if you do not want to.

12. read!!! i read a lot of fic, a lot of published books, and each has something i really enjoy and apply to my own fics.

13. to reiterate again just... write. write and write and write. i have over 300k posted to ao3 rn, and more in my docs. you will not improve your writing to any standard that you set for yourself unless you write!! always practice!! learn from your mistakes!! grow!!! you will improve with time, i promise, just go out and write what makes you happy anon!!

tl;dr have fun, write a lot wherever and whenever, and write for yourself before anyone else. you will improve with time as a writer the more you practice, and it doesn't ever matter how long your work is.

if you want more specific advice on formatting fic/general rules/ your first time posting, feel free to send another ask!! but for now, i wish you the best of luck anon and a very 👀👀👀👀 at your future fics!!!

[everyday-is-brighter-with-you]

CRYING IN THE (WINTER)CLUB

Before starting the ID I want to say there are some OC characters in this, and I’ve described their general appearance in this google doc for ref!

[ ID: Wide front view colored art drawn traditionally and colored digitally. Every character is in fullbody except Dr Habit whos drawn till above legs. In the scene many people are gathered out in the winter snow at a backyard. Snow falls everywhere. Overall pic is light blue toned. There is slight pale vignette around it.

Dr.Habit is looking away and wiping a tear, smiling. In the artists interpretation he has yellow fur, pink hair, stitches on hands, deep red nails.He wears long brown fur coat, big white knitted scarf, black fingerless gloves, black fur ushanka with orange fruits and green leaves design. Wears hair in a long plait. A dark grey maine coon leans into him.

Putunia is laying down, hands on cheeks making a ''ooo'' face in anticipation and glee. In the artists interpretation she has long dark brown curly hair. She wears a purple petunia shaped dress, blue pants, short brim straw hat with fake purple flowers,  thick yellow socks. Wears hair in big pigtails tied with pink bobble ties. She is looking at Lil Habby( the puppet) holding a fire gun to a melting chocolate bar, melting into a cup for making a drink. He wears the usual with a pink flower in hair. He has long thin simple shadow arms and legs here.

Marigold is sitting idle on the grass, looks curiously at snow on his petal hair, maybe even irritated. Near him on a pink cushy sofa with green highlights and little yellow flower designs sits Rose playing his flute eyes closed and legs kicking casually. In this picture his hair is longer. His hair tie rests on a sofa arm.

Behind him the Carlas are making a Snow Carla. Fortune Teller Carla is smiling and keeping a camellia on the snow figure. A red sleeveless dress and red gloves are drawn on her, wears hair in double buns with sparkling grey flower bands encircling buns, green eyeshadow. Another Carla laughs heartily, adding more snow.  A green buttoned dress with yellow ''fluff''  and striped brown cap with same fluff is drawn on her. The third Carla's face is away from viewer, she too is adding snow. A blue dress like Elsa's icy dress and a purple flower crown is drawn on her, though the cape is actually worn. The Snow Carla has one swirly eye dug in, a button eye with leaf lashes and branch eyebrow, carrot nose, red wax lips stuck on. From the camellia tree behind the red-clothed one, a pair of green cat eyes with thick brown brows stare.

Farther away on the other side Kamal is walking in, holding a half eaten pitha in hand while approaching. He holds a bag with a box saying ''To Kamal, with love''. In the artists interpretation his face is acne scarred. He wears a blue-black sweater, purple scarf, blue pants, brown winter shoes with white fluff at the top, one gold earring, frog shape chew necklace, hair is in a bun.

At the center Trevor is reaching up  with a stool and fiddling with a giant vibrating hot chocolate machine. He wears his usual coat with added blue jeans, red scarf with yellow and black stripes, leopard print heels, green goggles, mask for mouth, silver ear piercings. Hair is in a mullet and nails are sharp and black. The machine has a funnel streaming black smoke, and many bright devices on it. In the center of it is a radioactive symbol. On one side to its bottom is a part reading ''DEVIL MODE'' in allcaps with fire graphics, a big red button in a glass case is above it with a note that reads ''Never(underlined) touch'', stuck with a smiley face pin. There is a mounted fish figurine on one handle. The hot chocolate is fizzling over the brim.

Behind him a long table laiden with food is seen. There are swirl designs on the wood's sides. There are red and green apples, borscht, three colored drinks, yorsh, glintvein , 3 tier chocolate cake, shchi, cut open peaches, cut round bread, bowl with sweet bread cakes, three small buns, full breasted chicken in aluminium foil. Lily is looking over the table edge, grinning with the aim of stealing the cake.

There are plants around, a winter garden. In some places a green color overtakes the snow with grass growing. All over the yellow fence, to the left side, are huge clumps of winter jasmine.

To the horizon trees in blue-green shades with snow coverings are seen, closer and then farther and farther away. In that distance the silhouettes of Jimothan smiling and waving to Trencil, while dragging Parsley through the snow behind him are seen. Trencil stands and smiles, a little of his towering purple castle with red highlights, many turrets, visible.

end ID]

DESC UNDER CUT 

yisssss MFERS I made a winter piece before winter was FUCKING OVER sobsob

heres my yearly tribute to the season of nosebleeds cracked lips and flies aND SNOW!!!!!!!!(NOT WHERE I LIVE ;W;)

Also my birthdays really soon. Like next week soon

Ermmm ahffjd to talk a little about what I drew...hmmhfhg...well idk if the perspective( god i tried) makes this look different so ill just throw it out there thats Habits not looking at my sonaJDJVNJ hes looking away and crying due to found family feelings. Carlas doing some gay shit. Pabit+Putunia about to start a small localized natural disaster. I mean how else do u make hot choco without setting chocolate on fire tbh. Hotted chocolate. aNd YeS mY fAmIlY SeLf iNsErTs ArE ThErE tOo >:3. The machine will explode tommorow but its OK. They can make bath bombs from the carnage. Hrhggh I had a different idea but then my sis changed my HC so Im just gonna say Habit built it but with Trevors help hence the flashiness nd DEVIL MODE. Now that ive watched hlvrai i cant stop dropping references this series is so quotable .   Sawww those guys in the back? Honestly Trencils probably a winter person with the low light, fog and blocked sun.

---

EDIT: WELL MY BIRTHDAY GOT OVER AND JANUARY ALMOST TOO DAMN..GETTING OVER MY HEAPING ANXIETY AND POSTING

I dont Expect a lot of notes or anything but I suppose its alright, one of the important things to me is just archiving my art somewhere.

I know the IDs long but I’d recommend reading through if u also wanna like know the specifics of what I drew, OVER 15 PLANTS I THINK   I’d be flattered,

If you reblog with tags i’ll be happy though!!

[ID: The same drawing but with no editing- no vignette, snow overlay, blue overtone or color correction. end ID]

EDIT: Shortened the rlly long ID, but if someone wants to know the plants i drew under ‘winter garden’;  The flowers and plants visible at front are virginia rose, red chokeberry, snowdrops, a single frost covered rose, piers japonica in pots. To the middle inkberry, more snowdrops, colored hellebores patch,  glory of snow, black hellebores patch, pansies, cyclamens, yellow aconite, some more snowdrops. A little farther are two winterberry plants, a camellia tree, witch hazel, english primroses, staghorn sumac. 

[blackberreh-art]

Do you get art block in the middle of drawing the bots (whether for commissions or for fun) and how do finish the piece without abandoning it?

Honestly I dont! Artblock usually strikes before a piece, and even then, I so rarely get art block because i’ve gotten into the habit of breaking out of it very quickly because I just can’t afford to have it :”D If im stuck on something I just move on to something else and go back to it later.

Switching mediums often helps with art block too. Switch from digital to traditional and spit out something messy and shitty, it doesnt have to be good.

and if a piece just isnt working out, just try something else. Draw a different character, or if it’s a commission and what you’re trying isnt working out, just talk to your commissioner and work something out!

Honestly I so rarely abandon pieces, I feel I can’t offer any solid advice kuahsduajsdhuaksidhashiu