#im sure he is so fcking pretty during trainings

[shouyouthesun]

so, im reading tfc again and cant stop thinking about the fact that neil requested a headband in his uniform so he could keep his bangs out of his eyes.

so that's it.

neil in a headband.

this is supposed to be a sketch and i intend to make a more detailed version of this but i suck at drawing bodies so im sad.

[funnyscienceman]

Ok but like WHYY did ubisoft have to insist with the one game a year thing. Why couldnt they let syndicate cook in the oven more. Why do they have THREE queer men in the same game and not do ANYTHING with them!!!

Like yes, yes, i get it, i get wanting to for once make a story in a fun setting where you dont have to think about real life prejudice and hardships and bigotry and just have characters be silly, i love that too. I do! And id be all for that if doing it just didnt waste a potentially banger study of the characters and the setting ;-;

Like god i go back and forth on this constantly. I already love syndicate as it is, i think it's fun and neat and the happy gaming vibes about it is core to its identity, it's just that simultaneous to that, three queer men in the same game!!!

like GOD im still miffed that there are only, like, two or three fics about this, and so far i havent found any discussion or anything of it, but oh my god how different all three of them are from each other. You could do so much just with having any of them in the same room — and they are often enough in the same room (jacob and either ned or roth at a time), but nothing's really done there!

we have roth who sees fcking nothing wrong with getting kids hurt, because he doesnt actually care about anyone or anything, he's just some fucking joker wannabe that yeah, sure, probably has some anger and resentment at society because he's a gay man in his 40s or 50s by now, but jesus fucking christ retaliation against homophobia does not equal rampant needless unproductive violence roth!!!

then we have ned, who — i mean he doesnt ever give his opinion on whether kids deserve any respect or anything but considering in every other department he's pretty much just Some Guy, it'd be fair to assume he also has the extremely average stance of 'dont fcking kill kids and dont blow up buildings for no good reason??' in the grand scheme of the templar-assassin stuff he has just about as much relevance as roth: roth was just the boss of the blighters, ned just finances the fryes by virtue of them working for him. He probably doesnt even know about it, and tbh i dont even know if he'd care??? But like i imagine roth doesnt care in the way of 'as long as you dont get in my way, it's all set dressing,' ned i imagine would be smth like 'are yall fckin serious? are you kidding me rn? i have to skirt around transphobes on a daily basis, now youre telling me there's a secret society on top of that with even worse ideas?? What the fuck???'

like uh, not caring about it as in 'I cant deal with this rn i need a nap'

HE'S JUST AN EXTREMELY REGULAR PERSON (besides the crime lord stuff) IS WHAT IM GETTING AT.

then there's jacob, who's the youngest out of these guys btw, fckin 21 good god he should be at the club not trying to disassemble systemic oppression— ANYWAY

(ned is 27-28 over the course of the game, btw; we dont actually have a solid timeline for anything, just the year, so tbh jacob could've also been 20 and not 21 yet during the game. both he and ned have late birthdays, just a month apart)

so, yknow, being extremely early 20-somethings, both frye twins just take a train to london completely on impulse and dive headfirst into undoing the templars that've had an iron grip over the city for basically as long as they've been alive, yknow, as you do; and throughout the game jacob has to deal with goddamn daddy issues and fighting with his sister and insecurity and trying to be an assassin — and that's a lot for a guy to handle!! Especially one who's still just a couple years out of being a teenager! That's a fucking lot and if the devs are right, then he hasnt even realized that he's bi yet! Not until roth fucking kisses him while jacob's got a knife in his throat for the aforementioned indiscriminate, unproductive violence!

i mean, granted, yeah there were gay undertones during sequence 8, but i have to admit my bias here because i honest to god cannot take those missions seriously. Roth fucking preaches this and that about freedom and whatnot and then im plopped into the mission and it's the most rule-heavy shit ive ever seen in my short life as an assassin's creed player. Like what the hell, those missions were atrocious. Apprently i need to detonate the bombs a specific way, i cant just shoot them from a distance, i have to hold a button crouching down right next to the bombs, and then run the hell away! I have to avoid THIS and THAT while kidnapping xyz! Like there's freddy's apprehend missions and then there's THIS.

at least with ned's missions all you have to do is get the shit and go… i'm still salty that ubisoft cut his questline because they fucking insist on releasing a game a year >:((

my battery's dying. All these guys are different flavors of queer on top of just being pretty different and pretty similar in various ways, and there's just… barely anything about it. Ned especially, since he's just a quest giver whose screentime totals to, like, 2-5 minutes. I just wish they really did more with the setting; not just the queerness and these three specifically, but like, evie, henry, the class conflict — like there are shreds of it, seeds, but there's not much before you kill starrick and credits roll :((

idk. im just gonna refresh ao3 again cjemddjekjx

[freakandgeek]

LET'S TALK ABOUT DOUBLE OR NOTHING 2020:

this really was a terrible week for pro wrestling

and im glad they had a really serious moment !!

this is the best ppv I've seen in years i guess ????

❗LET❗SWOLE❗ FIGHT❗

like,,, i was sure she was gonna jump over the barricade to kick somebody's ass

i thought they were gonna be safer after all the injuries on wednesday

buT DARBY ALLIN LITERALLY TOOK A LEAP OF FAITH WITH HIS SKATEBOARD FROM THE TOP OF A I-DON'T-KNOW-HOW-MUCH-BUT-VERY-MUCH-HIGH LADDER INTO ANOTHER LADDER WHATHDHJC

OC asking the commentators how to win the match had me YELLING

but him not knowing how to use a ladder JDJFF I WAS CRYING I SWEAR

JIMMY SUITE *CHEF'S KISS*

BRIAN CAGE 😳😳

when oc was on cage's back and almost won the match i had a MITB flashback I HAD FEAR IN MY EYES IM TELLING YA

so now it's pretty obvious that cage will feud with darby and I CANNOT WAIT

but what if darby will have a manager too ??? IF YOU KNOW YOU KNOW

i can't stress it enough but MJF AND JUNGLE BOY ARE PURE GOLD

future legend i said what i said

I think we can all agree that the TNT championship is horrible

NO THE GOLD WILL NOT MAKE IT BETTER

THAT LOOK THAT TYSON HAD WHEN ARCHER ENTERED LMAOOOOO

THIS MATCH 💯

maybe there was too much chaos at the end i guess

and please jake DO NOT EVER THROW THAT SNAKE AT SOMEBODY EVER AGAIN

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT DOING IT PLEASE IM TERRIFIED

the ddt in front of jake CODY YOU REALLY ARE TRYING TO PISS HIM OFF

*THE STINGER SPLASH*

i had so much fun watching penelope v kriss

kip looked like he got hit by a train and tbh I FELT THAT

THE WOMEN CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH WAS MOTN I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANYTHING

(if we don't consider that crazy main event)

SHIDA WENT THROUGH TWO TABLE I THINK W T F ❓❔❓❔❓❔

"ALWAYS BET ON BLACK"

nyla lost 🙁

SHIDA WON 🤩

i've never loved any kind of props as much as i loved those poker fiches AMAZING

MOX THAT JACKET WAS TERRIBLE HELP

i don't think somebody actually told mox and brodie lee that they CAN'T KILL EACH OTHER

THE PARADIGM SHIFT THROUGH THE RAMP ❗❗❗❗

we could only see the foot and i was like 🤯🤯

I LOVED THE ENDING

yes lee lost BUT he wasn't pinned nor he tapped out

it was a referee stoppage

GENIUS 10/10

nOW

LET'S TALK ABOUT IT

THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED IN WRESTLING IN YEARS I THINK

THE INNER CIRCLE WITH THE FOOTBALL ATTIRE DJKDKGKFKAG

adam page wasn't there and I was like EXCUSE ME

(btw vickie guerrero was there too and i loved it)

apparently he saw the entrance cody did with his car and said NO ONE CAN BE MORE EXTRA THAN ME

so he RODE A FCKING HORSE THROUGH THE FIELD

at this point i had to pinch myself because i was sure that it couldn't be real

but it was AND IT WASN'T EVEN THE CRAZIEST THING

RUN SAMMY RUUUUUUUUN

matt had a broken rib i think but he still did a moonsault from something that's IDK TWO THREE METERS

ARE YOU CRAZY ❓❓❓❓❓

IDK I WATCHED THE MATCH TWICE AND I STILL CAN'T REMEMBER EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED

MATT HARDY CHANGING GIMMICK ME: 💀💀

THE CHAIR OF WHEEL

"are you here to fight or to drink?" MH WHAT DO YOU THINK

can i say i got a bit emotional when i saw kenny and adam fight together again? I JUST MISSED THEM OKAY OKAYYYKDKC

AND THEY ACTUALLY DESTROYED FOUR OR FIVE OR IDK IM NKT GOOD WITH NUMBER BOTTLE ON HAGER'S HEAD?

H O W

matt suplexin sammy from a side to the other of the field was so stupid WHY AM I LAUGHING

AUBREY AND JERICHO IS THE FEUD OF THE YEAR

THAT WILL NEVER GET OLD

ONE WINGED ANGEL FROM I DON'T KNOW HOW HIGH

WHY THEY CAN'T JUST STAY WITH THEIR FEET ON THE FKCING GROUND FFS

THE ELITE BEING HAPPY ALL TOGETHER??? YES PLEASE LET'S KEEP IT LIKE THIS

THIS WAS JUST PERFECT

THANK YOU AEW FOR ENTERTAINING US DURING THESE FCKED UP TIMES

I'LL BE FOREVER GRATEFUL

[thattaekwondoblog]

Green Stripe: blanking out & stuff

so this is the first belt that i really didn’t feel ready for. I had gone to practice every day in the month of January (except sundays & the last two days bc I fell sick), but in February a bunch of stuff kept me away from practice (mostly grad school apps & work). this is also the time stuff happened in my personal life which may or may not have involved some dojang members (not so much beef as communication issues in a few friendships) so i was feeling extra insecure. So much happened since this so I kinda forget but essentially the test was at the end of February and i felt #severely unprepared, despite my instructors encouraging me to test. honestly my test day was so traumatic i blocked out most of my training from that period sadly.

Things that happened:

dear reverse inner forearm block: you little shit. you absolute mess. coordination was never really my thing so that sht messed me up really bad. it is a really beautiful block though.

원효 wonyo was a cool form, even though confusing; first time that a ‘common stance’ isn’t used always. also we’re not going in straight lines anymore??? what????

i don’t remember struggling too much with the one steps except for like the order of them.

sparring! i like!! sparring!! so much more than i thought i would. the only thing i dislike about it is the Eventual Lower Belt Man who is ‘afraid to go too hard’ or ‘can’t control his strength’ and talks all the fcking time. bro shut up, stop being a dck and humble yourself will ya. your masculinity issues have no place in fighting. we all are learning so stfu and try.

I’m still very much in ‘defense mode’ while sparring; i like to observe more than attack. this is bc i feel like the ppl i spar against generally have more experience or strength and so i overcalculate everything bc i think im gonna make mistakes. this has brought particular joy to one red belt friend who Will Not Attack Me on purpose so I attack first. i love you bro but i also know as soon as i attack you’ll see all my openings and murder me. it’s def something im working on.

Advice/what helped:

some days you’re gonna feel awfullll and it will transpire in your practice even if you try to hide it. there was one day i was Not feeling it and of course my master wanted to tease me and make me laugh as he usually does. it was really hard to not say Sir Please Leave Me Alone I Need To Be Left Alone, but i also knew I would never have wanted to take my sht out on anyone. pushing myself to practice that day was good, but also know that if you’re feeling too bad one day skipping practice is okay.

i got to know some dojang members better, which was fun! plz talk to your older/younger/higher level/other members and get to know them. even when some seem intimidating, it’s so interesting to hear everyone’s tkd stories

on the flip side, training with ppl you love and ppl you not longer vibe with so much can be complicated. im still figuring it out. i guess ive mostly opted for respect and have fun during training, not letting issues transfer to the mats. i love my instructors and tkd wayy too much to let personal issues interfere with class (even though it’s not always easy to do).

the belt test:

nothing prepared me for how this test went. i was stressed about it bc i was feeling unprepared but the week before I went to practice very often to try to catch up and in the end was feeling a little more confident. the test day arrives and my body feels ok until im called up. i was the only one testing in my category. My mind felt fine, I stayed focused, but my body... started shaking while i do my techniques. and it was only the first part of the test. i was like wtf bc id never experienced anything like this before. then came the form. I began and after the fifth move... i got tunnel vision and my mind went blank. even the grand master was trying to help me and my master asked me to relax. i started again and finished, albeit not greatly. the one steps are a blur bc i just wanted to get back to my seat and disappear. I saw stars when i sat back down. pretty sure i was about to faint up there. my master came to check on me after the test saying my face became white through the test. why? how? i dont fcking know. again this had never happened to me before. ive done tons of presentations, theatre performances ect... even though i felt ok mentally my body was like Nope Absolutely Not and launched in a panic attack (i used to have an anxiety disorder where i would get anxiety attacks, but i hadn’t had a panic attack in like.. years). i think it’s the combination of stresses in all the parts of my life (social, school, work, somewhat tkd) that culminated and i freaked out. i took the day off of work the next day bc stuff like this Never happens to me and you gotta listen to your body when it’s screaming this loud.

main lesson: you’ll never be fully ready for things. but also listen to yourself. it’s a veryy fine balance. it was really not a big deal that my moves weren’t as perfect as I wanted to since my master thought i was good to go I should have been more confident. at this time though, my life felt like i was going at 343242 miles/hour and i absolutely should have taken a full day of time alone to lay out my thoughts and feel more secure. bc what happens in your mind directly influence your tkd, and that’s why you need to take care and listen to yourself even when everyone else is so loud.