#im trying to upload it 4th time!

[circusinarun]

Y'know what, Idc! >:(

[yougavemeyourheartyouknow]

On thin ice (Hockey player! Miguel O’Hara x Figure skater! Fem! Reader)

A/N: Im in a fucking rollllll. This series is my current hyper fixation and since I don’t really have an uploading schedule I just do it whenever lol. Also I LOOOVE reading all of y’all comments, they’re funny and they warm my heart. Y’all got me kicking my feet, giggling, blushing, twirling my hair. Anyways, apologies for If Miguel’s ooc and any spelling mistakes and grammatical errors since this isn’t proofread. Y’all may feast lol.

(Y/N)- Your name.

Cursing, angst.

Word count: 1.4k

Series Masterlist

Chapter 4: Are there some aces up your sleeve?

—

“(Y/N), that is the 4th time you messed up the Camel spin today. If you can’t do it then we’ll just take it out of the program-“

“No! No, I can do it coach! I’m just having an off day and-“

“That’s not an excuse. Regionals are in late October, it is September. There shouldn’t be any excuse, we’re been doing this on repeat. This should be muscle memory.”

Coach Kavinsky words were only twisting the knife. You brought your shaky hands up to cover your nose and mouth, attempting to warm your face a bit and keep yourself from sobbing. Ever since you woke up in the morning everything has gone to shit. You failed your exam in your math class, on your way to your english class, you tripped and dropped your Starbucks, causing it to spill all over your shoes, and now you kept messing up the program. Logan could tell you were mere minutes away from a breakdown, your eyes were wet and your breathing was rapid, partly from skating and partly because you were trying to keep an oncoming panic attack at bay. “I-I can do it! I can do it, I just need a minute-“ you stutter and stumbles over your words, you bring your gloved hands over your face and placing them on the top of your hands.

“I think we should take a break coach, (Y/N) just needs to get some fresh air, right (Y/N)?” Logan said in a calm voice as the put his hand on your shoulder, but you quickly shook it off.

“No, it’s okay I can do it. See?” You were going hysterical, getting into position to do the spin only to fail the spin and fall butt first on the ice. Okay now you were having a breakdown.

“Jesus… okay. Logan take her outside, help her calm down will you?” Coach Kavinsky said to Logan who just nodded, waiting for you to move to your knees to help you get up and out of the rink.

—

“I-I don’t know what’s wrong with me today…” You stuttered in between shallow breaths, Logan’s hand rubbing slow smooth circles on your back in an attempt to help you calm down. “I’ve- I’ve never had trouble with that spin before- I just- I-“ you couldn’t finish, you’re stutters just devolving into more sobs as you put your face into your partner’s chest, tears spilling out. “I’m getting your shirt all wet…” You managed to say with a small chuckle as you pulled away after a few minutes, but the laugh was devoid of any warmness or joy. Your hand wiping some left over tears from your cheeks.

“It’s fine, I’m more worried about my best friend.” Logan said with a small smile, the hand that was rubbing your back now tracing up to your shoulders and pulling you closer to him in a side hug, you let out a small sigh as you laid your head on his shoulder.

“Thanks Logan… I’m sorry… I’m a totally mess…” You mumbled as you wipe some more tears away, your eyes red and puff, a headache slowly creeping up on you from all the crying.

—

“Why… the fuck my is Ice princess and her little skating partner so close…” Miguel thought as he got out car, slamming the door without realizing as he glares at you and Logan from his spot across the parking lot. You or Logan hadn’t seen him since you were both so far away, and were more focused on trying to calm you down, Miguel was too far to noticed your tear stained face.

“Damn Miguel, dent the door why don’t you.” Peter attempted to joke while getting out from the passenger seat but his voice faltered, letting out a nervous chuckle after. Peter already knew the team was gonna be used as Miguel’s personal stress ball for the entirety of the practice time. Miguel just sent a glare at him in response, a small grunt escapes his lips as both of them grab their bags and hockey sticks from the back seat. “You seem more mad than usual, wanna talk about it? Or are you just gonna “accidentally” slam half the team into the boards like always?” He probes his captain, but he already knew his answer. Everyone on the team knew that Miguel isn’t a talk-about-your-feelings person.

“Shut up Parker.” He mutters as he slings his bag on his shoulders, closing and locking the door before both males started to make their way to the entrance. You currently burying your face into Logan’s shoulder, so Miguel couldn’t see your face, and Logan’s head was resting on top of yours, his arm still over your shoulders, his thumb creasing small circles on your shoulder. As soon as you were in ear-shot, Miguel shouted out to you both. “Aww look at the two lovebirds!” His voice dripping with sarcasm to hid the slight anger and jealousy he felt.

“I’m not in the mood, Miguel…” You’re voice was horse and raspy, as you spoke, and your eyes were bloodshot and puffy when you lifted your head up to look at him. The sight made Miguel’s heart ache, but the way your body was so close to Logan’s made it fill with rage and envy a lot more.

“She’s having a bad day, can we save-“ Logan started but was swiftly cut off.

“And that’s my problem because?” He hissed, eyes narrowing. “What’s wrong huh? Did he drop you on your back again? Or was it something stupid like missing up a spin?” He taunted with a head tilt, Logan glared at Miguel, his hand’s grip tightening on your shoulder, Peter just nervously shifted his weight back and forth between his feet and you, well you were trying not to burst into tears again. He made it sound a lot more simple then it felt like, it made you feel embarrassed for being so distraught about it. He had no way of knowing that’s actually the reason for your tears.

“Can you not be a dick for 5 minutes?” You ask with an exhausted dry laugh, the laugh was your body’s way of holding yourself back from beginning to sob again. Your hand goes up to wipe some smuggled mascara from under your eyes. “Everything has been so fucking shitty all day, I-I don’t need you to come her and kick me while I’m down, Okay?” Your voice cracked as you spoke, and it only made Miguel feel worse.

You were right, he was acting like a major jerk right now. God what is wrong with him? Here you were in such a vulnerable place, your heart laying bare in front of him, and instead of making you feel better, instead of making your chest full with warmth and reassurance, he grabbed your still beating heart and began to feast on it like it was that night’s dinner.

God. What the fuck Miguel? What the fuck? What the fuck. Whatthefuck. Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck-

“Alright,” Coach Kavinsky came outside, crossing her arms as she spoke. “I’m just gonna cut practice short, it’s almost over anyways.” She said to Logan and you, before turning to you and speaking to you directly, “Go home, get some rest, and don’t stress yourself out too much over this, alright (Y/N?) Tomorrow is a new day, a fresh start, don’t let this one bad practice ruin your confidence in the program.” She finished, you just shook your head at her before she turned around and walked back into the building.

“Alright… let’s get you inside…” Logan said to you in a low comforting tone, getting off the sidewalk before helping you up, and began to walk you inside.

Miguel Let out a Heavy sigh, glancing to his side, running a hand through his slicked back dark hair, before attempting to speak, “Look. Princes-“ but he quickly shut his mouth when Logan looked over at him and sent him a dark glare, not stopping as he grabs your hand and drags you inside. If looks could kill, Miguel would be six feet under.

After a beat of silence, Peter cleared his throat before speaking, “well…that’s one way of trying to get her to notice you, nice going Miguel.” If Miguel didn’t already plan on releasing all his confused feelings and frustrations out on the ice before, he sure as hell was going to now. Miguel sent Peter a glare, mumbling some curses under his breath in Spanish , before he began to go walk into the arena, Peter stumbling to catch up with him.

—

Taglist: @tayleighuh @cowboylikeevie @coralineyouareinterribledanger @jukioku @loser-alert @migueloharaspookiebear @serpentstarr @littlexscarletxwitch

[mommahughes19-23]

Thanks Devil Babies - N.H

@mrs.cap : thanks u to the devils , my media girlies , and the fans for a sick season

tagged : @nicohischier @njdevils @devilsmediateam @jackhughes

location : nicos heart

ninahischier : mein lieblingspaar, ich kann es kaum erwarten, dich zu sehen, meine schwester😭 ( my favorite couple, cant wait to see you my sister )

↪ mrs.cap : hör sofort damit auf, denn ich kann es kaum erwarten, dich wiederzusehen!🤧 ( stop this right now because i cant wait to See you more! )

nicohischier : 💓❤️💓❤️💓❤️💓❤️💓❤️💓❤️💓❤️💓❤️

dawson1417 : mrs cap in all her bad bitch glory 🤩🤩

↪ mrs.cap : youalreadyknowwhoitisbitches @dawson11417

jesperbratt : mr and mrs cap the team miss u 🫡

tmeier96 : bekomme ich also in dieser nebensaison besuch oder muss ich warten, bis Nico nach hause kommt?😤 ( so do I get a visit this off season or do i have to wait for Nico to come home? )

↪ mrs.cap : auf dich, meine mitschweizer, musst du warten. 🤡 ( for you my fellow Swiss, you must wait. )

jackhughes : ok @mrs.cap just use the WORST FUCKING PICTURE OF ME YOU CAN FIND😤

lhughes_06 : oh oh oh oh imma come see u sooooon

↪ mrs.cap : PLEASE DO MY LUKEYYYYY @lhughes_06

tofff73 : 🤡🤡

john.marino97 : why do I never get a shout out or tag?🤨

↪ mrs.cap : bc u didn't ask ? to be fair jack threatens my first born every time he doesnt get a tag 🫨

↪ jackhughes : smh why would I ever do such a cruel thing ( ur offspring is safe for now ) 🫷🏻

pally_18 : BABBBBY COME BACK WE MISS YOUUU AND I NEED MORE INSTA PICSS🫨

↪ mrs.cap : is that all u see me as pally? a means to instagram worthy content?🤬

↪ pally_18 : uhhhhhhh and a beautiful girl who's dating my wonderful captain 😬

↪ mrs.cap : that's what I fucking thought bud

bssmith : gangs all here🤫

ehaula : why do you look like a fan about to shit herself in the 4th slide?

↪ mrs.cap : MAYBE BC I AM AND WAS AND GOT TO MeET MY idoL NICO HISCHIER!?!?!??!

curtislazar95 : a bunch of dweeeeeebs

↪ mrs.cap : ur son would disagree 🤷🏻‍♀️

A.N :

Here's a Nico thing, in this the reader is also Swiss German bc I just felt like it ok.

I love Nico and I love the devils and I love hockey and I love hockey men.

im off to work soon so I will try to have another up tonight :D

ps. if you want I posted a what to expect post so you can comment and tell me if there's one in particular you want uploaded sooner than the rest and I will make it my priority! (still working on the written one those take a bit longer for me.)

that's all.

xoxoxoxoxox, M

Tags : @lukey-pookie-hughes43 and @skylershines

[collegetennisoriginstory]

hi im currently on my 4th replay because my saves keep on deleting themselves how do i stop it

Haha oh no, I'm sorry, 4 times seems like a lot!!

I suspect each time I do an edit with things that update variables or when I take sm.init (the save plugin) in and out of the startup.txt file for testing, saves are deleted.

As the game gets longer, I can totally see how this can become a real problem. I'll try to: (a) Minimise uploading edits (meaning consolidate small edits into one big edit), and (b) Remember to keep the sm.init code whenever I upload.

Hope that'll minimise the issue—saves will still get deleted when I update, but hopefully not so often!

Another thing I'm working on (maybe for Pt. 2 or just beyond), will be to add a "skip chapter" function (which will likely result in some breaks / bugs but if folks are OK with some things being wonky, it could really help to get to the new content without having to playthrough the whole game multiple times!)

[someone-always-cares]

chapter 5, page 60

first - previous - next

[image description: an sac webcomic page. the shelf crashes onto schmidt, pinning them. her mask is now fully formed, aside from the growing horns, showing the eye holes surrounded by branching tendrils that match the ones on her shoulder and hands. markings that are easier to view in the close up of her, glaring directly at the viewer, the highlights in her eyes now more like her tendril shapes rather than the wiggly lines they were before. with one hand on the counter, lewis quickly vaults over the shelf and person trapped under it, all that is seen of them is the sparking hand reaching up at him. jade worriedly grimaces downwards at schmidt, one hand on the doorframe she's facing, the one they just tried a few pages ago. end id]

so i didnt finish this page due to stomach pain on monday so it wasnt done tuesday, so i thought, okay, well, lets get it finished on wednesday after i take my bro out for a birthday movie.

and then i got back, took a 20 minute nap so id have a little energy to draw comics! and then i woke up 5-6 hours later, at 3am. 3 alarms slept through (despite being a light sleeper) and lights still on. the 5 hours sleep each day took its toll i suppose, so i went back to sleep, so heres the comic today!!!

speaking of waits for comics! its time for the annual fucking off period! also known as "taking a break" like i do in december, buts lets be honest, i will not be taking a break. like always i will just be working on other things because i cant just not draw for too long.

hopefully this means i will be working on a buffer, finally. i will for sure be working on making chapter 1 book ready! if im very lucky i will get that sorted and ready before next febuary (got a couple large cons there) but thats a very generous estimate and assuming self funded and not kickstarter, but i can do that with some savings if i only get a small amount of books because chapter 1 isnt long. wish me luck.

so yes, this is the last update until january unless i end up making a holiday drawing who knows.

until then, im also going to try and upload more art to my art blogs (@galaxia-art on tumblr and galaxiaprince on instagram) and speaking of socials, shameless self promotion for my etsy because if youre looking to buy something from outside the uk then the last days for doing that and getting it before christmas is the 4th-7th december (depending on country) (or the 18th if you're in the uk). if you dont care when it arrives then all's good whenever!

anyway, thank you all so much for reading my comic, and i hope you all have a great rest of the year!

[keefwho]

January 29 - 2024 Monday

11:04pm

5/10

This morning I picked things up and vacuumed real good. I made spam and spicy ramen for breakfast which might have bit me in the ass later. I tried watching some Band of Brothers before stream but I couldn't finish a whole episode. On stream I warmed up with commission sketches and finished the YCH for Tag. Since my usual cartoon site was down, we watched Barbie A Christmas Carol instead. Towards the end I worked on Pink's drawing. I was having fun and didn't want to end but I had to. After stream I uploaded the pics and remade my NSFW commission sheet since Google forced it to be private. For lunch I made pasta shells with sauce and meatballs. My tummy was feeling weird around this time but I ate anyways. I was trying to finish that episode of Band of Brothers but I literally had to buffer more than I was watching so I gave up. I tried joining David's VC while working on today's request but I was kinda irritated and my tummy hurt so I left. I didn't enjoy drawing a pokemon for the request and it kinda came out bad. Afterward instead of working on projects for an hour, I was trying to figure out how I could re-organize all my ideas before my therapy appointment. My tummy hurt bad but it calmed down before appointment time. We talked a lot about work and my relationship to it. We also discussed how I could keep getting out of my social comfort zone. For the next 2 weeks the thing to focus on is continuing to make the work/play distinction and trying to do something entirely for my pleasure without considering the payoff. Just after that I did Just Dance with Daisy and really tried to get into it. I got the most tired I've ever been from JD because I went hard. When she moved downstairs, we watched a short Chris Chan reading and some out of context barbie while she painted her nails. Then she played a little Zelda and found the last 2 gorons which only resulted in getting a 4th bottle. In bed I played Kingdom Hearts for awhile and beat the Halloween world.

Im stressed because of how hard it is to to be myself and figure out how to have fun again. I also know it takes time.

[hools]

fursona doodles for trying out ibis paint!

[inactivegaz]

havoc op

[pazam]

Continuation of this pic

One of my SFM headcanons is that Dr. Habit is touch/affection starved due to his past and his creepy, maniacal personality in the game. And when he finally receives positive affection, he becomes overwhelmed from not been given that for a long time :(

This is also my excuse to draw some shameless self-insert sona giving him the affection he desperately needs because cmon people

[chipper-smol]

undefined

dumb thing

(audio warning at the end)

[beesmygod]

very very specific call for information: anyone out there deal with out-toeing caused by external tibial rotation (duck feet from a fucked up tibia) AS AN ADULT?

im putting this out here because 1. theres like no fucking information on the entire internet about adults who never grew out of a common childhood problem (unlike children, who self-correct by strengthening muscles, my tibia is an inherited condition. mom has it but not nearly as bad) and 2. i just want to know more! especially what im looking at for recovery.

e: im me from the future. this post is so long and boring and navel gazey so i added images in the hopes it might trick you into wanting to share it.

i only just started this process yesterday: after a series of free association google searches stemming from the fear that i had developed peripheral artery disease at age 31, i discovered symptoms i had been attributing to other random issues (pain radiating down leg? i must be bloated and pressing down on a nerve. pain in shins when i walk even for a short while or up a single flight of stairs? i must be out of shape and destroying my body. knees swollen with fluid in the 4th grade? bursitis, etc) could pretty much all be traced back to my fucked up leg.

my right leg (/my/ right) is visibly fucked from the outside and always has been since i was born. the left is as well, although to a much less (and likely ignorable) extent than the right. i’ve know about this forever; my parents at one point took me to a doctor who was like “yeah she’s shaped like a twizzler” but didnt actually recommend any action. therefore, it was assumed by all that there was nothing we could do and i just had to suffer my junji ito uzamaki curse forever.

which would suck because it’s not great. my family was not receptive to any complaints i had about my body hurting growing up so i just gave up on giving a shit about it. i’m going to start from the top bottom on pain:

sometimes i walk with a limp because my hip and knee joint would work in tandem to get a sharp pain that makes putting weight on it hard.

during my period, i usually end up with at least a day or two where i get deep toothache like pain in my thigh. its always there, not throbbing, and it just. aches.

for some reason my body favors it so when im standing i find myself almost completely leaning on it (which just makes it hurt more later). i can feel myself fucking my knees up when i do this because of how it has to shift around the twisted bone.

my knees swell up every time i kneel and put weight on them (growing up catholic made this excruciating).

walking is a nightmare. i usually try my best to pretend like my shins (specifically) aren’t screaming from mild exertion. i bought a step machine thinking i was just out of shape and a big whiner but it didn’t ever get better no matter how much and how consistently i did it. i though i was just assigned a really dogshit corporeal form that wasn’t built for improvement.

dont even think about running, buddy. i flip flap around like im wearing clown shoes AND it hurts like a bitch.

speaking of which, i also trip and fall on my own feet a lot. the doctor asked me this like “you don’t find yourself falling a lot while walking, right?” and i had to laugh because i eat shit at least 2x a month. i have a huge scar on my foot from last year.

now im about to upload some pictures of my legs. try not to scream. ignore the bruises, i spent all day yesterday/day before completely re-arranging my office so i beat the crap out of my legs lol.

here they are together, standing comfortably. im using the edge of our ugly tile as a straight edge for reference.

here’s the left one. i have no idea if this is normal. the doctor i saw yesterday said it was “less pronounced” on this side. i agree.

i look like im uploading instructions on how to hokey-pokey. anyway: right leg in. notice how it is, indeed, fucked up when lined up against the edge.

and here’s the knee straight. i really thought this was normal and i just had to deal with it for the rest of my life lol. i mean i still might uhhh let’s find out.

I AM LOOKING FOR INFORMATION FOR ADULTS:

pretty much everything online is for kids with assurances that they’ll “grow out of it” and absolutely no info otherwise for the rest of us. now for my QUESTIONS:

-which surgery would be done to correct this?

-i am an american, any idea what surgery cost might look like? (lol ignoring insurance, i want to see if im even close to the ballpark of it being feasible)

-how long is the surgery recovery time?

-can physical therapy correct this? if so, how long would it take?

-can you direct me to more information on living with out-toeing/duck footing/external tibial rotation? how can i manage symptoms?

-does anyone want to study me, because apparently im a rare specimen. im minting myself as an nft or whatever. fuck

ok thank you. please share if you want to but remember to tag it “long post” for people who dont want to be attacked by this big wall of legs

[ayzrules]

✶ 𝐇𝐗𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒: 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 & 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒, 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 & 𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍   Long story short, I have been thinking about this for wayyyyy too long now and wanted to get some ~thoughts~ & analysis written down! This post is going to be...fairly long, lol. Apologies in advance :D

  Also, if you can’t see the last gif (the one for ‘holy’), click here. Tumblr keeps fucking up the image when i try to upload it :////

  This post is probably going to be about 2/3 yorknew & phantom troupe/kurapika focused, 1/3 chimera ants, maybe with some references to other arcs (including manga-only arcs) mixed in. so, ofc, tons of spoilers ahead! also, i realize that my blog theme is hard to read (and i’m p sure clicking ‘keep reading’ sends you to the og post itself), so i’m linking the post w/ full text copy/pasted in on my art backup side blog (which has a more legible font) here. 

✶ 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇   I’m sure absolutely nobody is surprised with me starting here - there is just. SO. MUCH. DEATH. in hxh. & right from the start, one thing I noticed that togashi really emphasized was the #4 and its connection to death. in japanese, chinese, and im p sure some other asian cultures the number 4 is pronounced like the word for death so it’s associated with death in general, and boy oh boy does the ‘deadly number 4′ thing show up E V E R Y W H E R E. we get to the hunter exam, and hisoka is applicant #44. kurapika is #404. i didn’t notice it at first, but this was so intentional holy shit. togashi is NOT SUBTLE.

  So pika & hisoka are, right off the bat, associated with death. okay. and then there are even more clues to drive the point home: hisoka is member #4 in the phantom troupe, kurapika’s birthday is april 4th (aka 4/4). 100% not a coincidence (!!). with hisoka, it’s pretty obvious why togashi’s throwing all this death 444444 stuff around - dude is a psycho murder pedo clown, literally gets off on killing people (and there’s also the fact that judas sits 4th from the left in the last supper painting, and he’s sort of the judas equivalent for the phantom troupe). with kurapika, though, it’s a bit more subtle and woven deeper into his characterization, which i LOVE. togashi puts the mans in blue & gold & white (traditionally ‘pure’ or ‘heavenly’ colors), makes him so fucking kind & so good-hearted.....when he’s not relentlessly pursuing his revenge, ofc. more on this in the next section, but pika = death. togashi has made that v v v clear.

  Backtracking a bit to hisoka, though, I also just wanted to point out the 4 is death symbolism in the fortunes too (GOD i love the fortunes): in one translation, he’s the false fourth moon, and in the og japanese (i think), he’s the false hare (4th in the lunar zodiac or w/e it’s called. i don’t know the japanese cultural influences here, but in the chinese legend that established the zodiac animals, they race across the heavenly river & the top 12 animals got zodiac slots. the hare finished 4th, so it’s #4 in the cycle). 

  And just as a final note, Tserriednich is the fourth prince of the kakin empire, and also another dude who has a hard-on for murder & other gory shit. again: togashi is not subtle with this, lmfao

✶ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘, 𝐔𝐍𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘   As probably everyone who’s gotten to yorknew knows, togashi is so 0 fucks given when he wants to be. I mean there’s the whole thing where he just. took New York and decided, Yorknew. LMFAO, but also, he made the main antag of that arc be named chrollo lucilfer, sit around in a ruined church, have a reversed cross coat, pale & dark-haired/dark-eyed, generally dressed in dark colors, very terrible murder guy. liiiike......chrollo x devil symbolism game is 1000/10 at this point lmaooo

  And i know absolutely nothing about christianity in general, but pt/kurapika & yorknew arc is just so full of christian imagery/symbolism! one thing that i L O O O O O O V E though is how togashi really blurs the traditional christian-coded good/evil, holy/damned boundaries.

  Back to kurapika: he wears gold and blue, his coloring is very stereotypically ‘angelic’, he’s precious and good and kind. his chains are all about ~judgment~ and ~healing~ - some of the chains are also in literal cross shapes, aren’t they? And the chain dagger in his own heart...the imagery is very startlingly similar to the immaculate heart of mary, where the swords stabbing thru the heart apparently represent seven sorrows. IDK much about this stuff other than the visual similarities; literally had to google ‘daggers through heart christianity?’ to even get the name of that thing LOL. anyway, at first, it seems like togashi establishes him as the ‘angel’, the ‘good’, the ‘holy’ in the angel/devil, good/evil, holy/damned dichotomy between him and chrollo.

  But that’s not the end of the story. his entire storyline is driven by a huuuuuuuge giant desire for vengeance, first of all, and then there’s the scarlet eyes, which canonically are seen as demonic/cursed/what have you (according to one of the movies or smth? where they show pika as a 10 y/o?), and then we also have red eyes in modern culture being associated w pretty much the same thing (vampires, anyone?). the fight scene with uvo has everything in b&w besides the blood on his face & his red eyes & the moon (<<< more fortune foreshadowing & symbolism, i love to see it), and there are tonssss of scenes where he has to suppress his rage. so all of that is obviously not very angelic of him i would say LOL. in fact, what i find super interesting is that the scarlet/red eyes (which are ‘demonic’) is actually the driving factor behind his super powerful nen abilities; this ties in so well with the fortunes & death associations imo! the fortunes call him the ‘death-bringer’ in one translation, or ‘half-angel, half-death’, so that’s one side of pika = red eyes = death, but there’s also the fact that emperor time is literally draining his life force. so pika = death for both himself and others namely the pt, question mark?

  Now for chrollo: togashi’s devil symbolism is EXTREMELY overt with him, but i love the subtler jesus references too. the church thing, obviously, and the st. peters cross which is cuz st peter respected jesus too much & didn’t think he was worthy to die in the same way as him (or something like that, i am the most atheist person in the world & hxh is literally my entire christian education pls) but is also used as an anti-christianity symbol these days. bandit’s secret looks like a bible, lbr, and mans has a cross tattoo.

  Other things beyond visuals - 12 spiders, 12 apostles; hisoka’s betrayal, where member #4 can be thought to correspond to judas sitting 4th from left at last supper. and this miiiiight be a bit of a stretch, but i think the meteor city being the place of origin may also play into the blurred line between angel/devil and holy/damned here; meteors are defined as space rocks that are in earth’s atmosphere, becoming incandescent in the process. meteorites are for the kinds that actually reach the ground. and idk, lucifer was cast out of heaven / sky too right? so i think there might be some subtle fallen angel imagery/symbolism playing into the pt as well

✶ 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 (𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒)   Last section yay! i don’t have as much to say about this, besides when i was making chimera ant arc edits & realized that there might have been some subtle gon/meruem parallels???

  So obviously, everyone knows that line killua says to gon - “you are light” - and then i was just remembering that meruem’s name means.... “light that illuminates all” (!!!!). maybe it’s a coincidence, but knowing togashi, i’m leaning towards nahhhh. there HAS TO be some kinda meaning there (!!).

  Going back to the events of the chimera ant arc....ooh boy. let’s see: gon is optimistic & hopeful even in the face of kite potentially being dead, killua says he’s light, they find kite & dude is fucked up, gon is pissed. gets all angry & ~dark~, especially during the palace invasion when he’s staring pitou down as she fixes up komugi. then the actual fight against pitou: more darkness, more anger, but through it all there’s still light, namely his jajanken being very orange & fiery lookin.....and that final sequence, where he puts all his possible nen he’d ever have into his ~final form~ or wahtever & turns into a male version of true form!bisky but dressed in a crop top & short-shorts (i am SCARRED, btw. s c a r r e d !). there’s just huuuge flashes of light as that’s going on, and it reminded me of supernovas or dying stars when i was thinking about it, where the star is like, collapsing under its own weight? & burning thru its own fuel, until there’s nothing left except a dwarf or black hole or what have you. one final, extremely deadly burst of light & energy before death.

  On the meruem side of things: born into a dark cave, exhibits a traditionally evil/cruel/wicked/whatever personality/traits so that has ppl associating him with darkness. then he gets to know komugi, starts to appreciate other aspects of humanity, seems like he could have actually turned into a decent person who doesn’t want to eat everyone - so that’s a ‘path to light’, maybe? - and then the extermination team yeets themselves into the palace, netero takes him out to bumfuck nowhere, they fight. netero’s fighting is just ALL light, from his giant ass golden 100-type guanyin bodhisattva to the poor man’s rose. again, there’s the sense of finality to it all, in a similar vein to dying stars: netero comes in determined to kill meruem no matter what, and we all know netero doesn’t flake. then we see netero get destroyed after the zero hand, and he triggers the rose, and everything is burning & on fire before the flames are put out and all turns dark again.

  But wait!!! pouf & youpi revive meruem and all he does is play gungi with komugi, even with the poison of the rose. he eventually dies, and the gungi pieces in that final shot of them together (i am BAWLING just thinking about it holy shit) has one that’s all white, one that’s a black ring and white inside. i assume all white is for komugi, who has never done ANYTHING wrong in her LIFE, so i like to think that the 2nd one is for meruem - born “into darkness”, literally & figuratively, but he turns something like ‘good’ by the end. it’s interesting how togashi has sort of gone for a bit of a subversion here: the hero going from light to darkness, and the main antag from darkness to light.

✶ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍   AahhhhHHHHHhhh so if you read all the way down here through my LONG rambles, tysm! i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear what other people think about all this, and i’ve FOR SURE missed tons and tons of stuff - chimera ants is just. SO MUCH. and i don’t know it as well as yorknew eeek.

  I’m not sure if i’m really ~knowledgeable~ in any other areas relating to hxh, so this might be the only one of these that i do, but i definitely think about some of this - esp all the religious symbolism & #4 stuff - a ton! so in the meantime, if it’s of any interest, i’m just going to shamelessly plug my hxh x religious beliefs/superstitions edit series :D lots of love to all!!!

[sanstropfremir]

it's kingdom time for real!!! the first episode is here and mnet finally uploaded the stages from like a month ago so i can actually watch them more than once to review.

happy to see them all actually performing. not the most interesting stages overall, but it was the 100sec one-take so i wasn’t expecting anything crazy. like the performance stages, this is about what i expected at this point in the show.

ranking under the cut, i have Opinions(tm) and they are not all pretty.

(anyone that’s seeing this for the first time, i’m a trained performance designer with over 30 credits and a decade of experience, yes i can talk about this with authority)

a few general notes:

this type of stage that mnet has built is called a traverse, or alley, stage. named exactly for the reason you think. it’s characterized by a narrow playing space with audience on opposite sides, and two entrances on either end. so mnet had a pretty typical setup. there are some advantages to this type of stage:

because of the narrow stage space and usually smaller audience capacity, the performer and audience are in much closer proximity

because of the shape of the space, blocking (choreography but for not-dance) can travel well and be very dynamic

it’s uncommon outside of midsize/small productions so there’s some novelty for the casual theatre goer

however! there are some pitfalls with this type of stage. the hardest type of stage to work with is (theatre) in the round. theatre in the round is characterized by being....in the round. that means the audience is placed 360 degrees around the playing space. which means that they can see everything; every entrance, every exit, every performer’s back, 360 degree sightlines means there is nowhere to hide. and in a medium that relies on concealment to create magic, it’s a tough stage to work with. not saying it doesn’t work. some of the most incredible shows i’ve been to have been theatre in the round, but when you go to those type of shows, as an audience member you understand that there will be some scenes where you only see the actors’ backs. there is no perfect seat in the round. the reverse is true as well, the actors can only act to those in front of them. and like i stated previously, on the production end it becomes difficult to hide things like props/set/costume changes that you might have been able to in another type of theatre. why am i talking about theatre in the round? because traverse works on exactly the same principle. even though the audience is only on two sides, the same issues still arise. directionality is key: a director has to be careful of how exactly the stage gets blocked.

why am i talking about stage formats? because the space always informs the performance, that’s why. i think mnet made a sort of smart choice to build a traverse stage. since the ‘audience’ is a video camera, that eliminates the need to play to the opposing seating banks, and opens up more staging opportunities. it’s a fancy looking stage that does what they need it to. 

now here’s my gripes. if you’re going to specifically orient a stage so that it is by nature directional, why are you broadcasting in a format where direction doesn’t matter? if the camera has no fixed position, then you’ve just skipped directly into in the round staging without taking into account the function of the space. it's a round peg in a square hole; yes it fits, but you can see the spaces where it doesn’t quite match up. for a very obvious example, any shot that is not staring directly down the barrel of the stage from left or right has audience in it. and not enough to be worthy of a reaction shots (because those are just cut in in post), but enough to just be there. why would you do that when you could just.....not? just go properly in the round and then you wouldn’t have that distraction. especially when the audience is wearing white. also, there are only so many ways you can stage on a traverse, you’re pretty much limited to directional points on a compass, because there are literal risers in the way. because of the way most groups are choreographed, the member layouts lean more towards having the members in a line than they do layering the members deep. this configuration is fine on a proscenium stage (which is what most stages are), and would even be fine on a traverse stage if you were playing to the risers. you could even do some interesting choreo alterations. but! because mnet has decided that the camera is perpendicular to the risers, that means that most of the formations are not optimized for the stage dimensions and are in fact the opposite dimensions. most of these groups are doing their longest blocking across the shortest area of stage, which is dumb. although it isn't much of a problem because the stage is still very large, but it's still a bizarre choice on behalf of mnet. why would you not arrange the stage so you have more clearance for the camera, the audience, and also the performers? i would have to check back over the rtk performances, but im pretty sure at one point they switch to an in the round stage. why are you not doing that from the start? this would also allow for more built setpieces. although it does remain to be seen if they do switch after this episode, since this particular challenge was a one-take with minimal props/set pieces. which segues to my next point: these groups barely took up the parameters of the challenge, or utilized them effectively! this is also mnet’s fault, mnet if you say that you’re gonna do a one-take, don't cut between seven other cameras!! show us the power of that single point of view! let the groups actually do some interesting blocking with the path of the camera! there’s so many interesting things they could have done, but no!! had to be boring!! i know this is technically an introductory stage, but i also don't care. these groups have (relatively) competent ADs and stylists, they can think outside the box.

ok now here’s my actual rankings:

1. btob

sorry babies, none of you can match them vocally. love you ateez but you sure fucked up picking them to go after you because they blew you out of the fucking water. and everyone else, but ateez cumulatively is the weakest vocally. more on that later. like the performance stage they showcased their strengths and the experience (and training) shows. good use of the directional stage having three vs one that came together in the middle. loved the white suit variations, im especially a sucker for a belted suit jacket. loved peniel's gigantic trench and massive earrings, very mid 90s, his stylist definitely took a lesson in how to accessorize very short hair. always love good use of fog. uniform colour theme, all elements were there to support the vocals. no complaints, chef’s kiss.

2. ikon

hey baby groups? see bobby having fun? do that more. i know you think performance face is sexy and serious but none of you know how to act and you all look dead inside on stage. the lights may be on but nobody’s home. anyways. excellent beginning formation, excellent ending formation, no complicated position changes that make the camera give you motion sickness. fun choreo that they are obviously having fun performing, which goes sooooo far in the success of a performance. only group so far to use silence as an effective device, and the arrangement was interesting and suited to the song+performance. i think it was smart of them not to deploy bobby right away, although it would have been funny to watch after whatever it was that stray kids was trying to do. again, like btob and also sf9, sticking to their strengths. costumes fun and fitting, indicative of both the colour of the group and of the song. nice detail in the monochrome and the black accent details.

3. sf9

taeyang is that bitch and they only way this would have been better is if he had actually grabbed the ties of those two other members (if you think i am going to remember anyone's names other than the people i already know you are wrong). love the confidence to waste a good chunk of your 90 seconds for walking and standing in formation. actual good use of one-take directional camera, even though they ruined it once they started dancing. choreo perfectly fine, lighting good complementary colour scheme, costumes nothing to write home about, surprisingly good projection design? wasn’t expecting that. im not the biggest fan white suit jackets over black shirts but ill give it a pass for the proper suit accessorizing.

4. ateez

i applaud your dedication to the pirate gimmick but boys you don't need that anymore, i promise. hongjoong's lil bloody cough was a fun gag that didn't draw too much attention but fit with the theme. came out of the gate strong with an actual clear narrative, which can be a challenge to do in 100 seconds, and the only group to have a narrative. also actual camera choreo! that was interesting! mnet stop fucking cutting to overhead shots! apparently im destined to always be beefing with the ateez stylists because what was the point of all that? very little variation in texture or pattern on matte all black just made any relevant details disappear. torch gimmick and end formation fun, and the arrangement had an obvious climax. weird and kinda fun projection design, but not helped by concert-style stage lighting. pick one or the other lighting designer, don't make them fight like that! props to them for actually having their mics on the whole time, even though they are probably the weakest group vocally. im also going to be beefing with the choreographer because they are always making seonghwa sing while doing ridiculous moves that make him go offkey. ateez has some of the stronger 4th gen vocals, but they're at a disadvantage because a) none of them have proper vocal training, and b) their main vocal is not actually a skilled singer and is destroying his voice.not a lot of vocals for them to showcase this stage and that was probably for the best. hanya (@changdyke) is in charge of vocals critique and will have more to say about this than me, even though i am also trained. im just here to talk about the production.

5. the boyz

im neutral to positive on tbz because i did really like their danger stage from rtk. this performance is just....fine. I don’t like the arrangement, but that's mostly personal opinion. but it doesn't have a conclusive end and the whole dissonance thing isn't really working for me in this instance. the choreo is quite flippy and tricking is not necessary for an interesting choreo. i did like the throwback/use of modern choreo, i think that's a strong choice for them and it's not something that many other groups are doing, so they should stick more to that than to tricking. the camera choreo is also not good. here’s where the clearance issues and fighting against the stage layout happen! stop making a handheld do a 180! are you trying to make us motion sick? to be fair, this is not the most egregious one, but at least ateez got it right by having a person lead the camera in a particular pattern. also, what even is the theme here? leatherclad boys in the forest? nobody give me any shit saying it's based off one of their music videos or whatever, that shouldn't matter. there should be a clear theme that can be easily identified without prior knowledge of the group, especially when this is an introductory stage and they are a relatively young group. none of the other groups have this issue. that being said, at least the costumes were interesting to look at, although thematically confusing. good use of accessories, texture, and bedazzling to make the black stand out against the stage. the hands in front of the camera were kind of fun but didnt really mean anything? again, back to the lack of clear concept. i did like them reaching out to pull that member forward, it would have been better if they had just left it at that.

6. stray kids

the more i watch this the more i hate it. im not even sorry about it anymore. starters, and i will admit this upfront: i do not like most 4th gen music, so the spiderman meme groups are already operating on a deficit in my point of view. and i particularly did not like this arrangement. same as with tbz, why did it not have a conclusive end? also overuse of sound effects. and stop saying your fucking band name! the only musician that’s allowed to do that is jason derulo and thats because hes a meme now. but twice in 100 seconds? no. and what was the point of that logo/crown reveal? im tired of crown reveals we have seen them so many times by now, we don't need to see it again. was it meant to be that they were carving it into the ground?? very unclear. there was an attempt with camera choreo, and i will admit that the pan up and then back down to the ‘wolf pack’ was probably the strongest moment in the whole performance. the lights were in their mouths, by the way. however, the rest of the choreo is all over the map, quite literally. as with tbz there’s a lot of members in the group and so in order for everyone to get their screen time they break down into smaller groups, which i don't disagree with on principle, but here.........the breakdowns are just tricking, which although eyecatching, does not a very compelling or cohesive choreo make. even the unison choreo is weird, obviously its stylized horror but it just looks awkward and strange. you can make awkward/unattractive choreo work (see taemin’s want, or even move, to some extent)***, but skz doesn't have an ounce of the charisma that taemin has so it just looks awkward. also, that rapid switch between opposite sides of the stage? nausea inducing. ateez was the one with the pirate concept but skz apparently trying to make us seasick. im not gonna say anything about that rap other than it was bad, why was that allowed on stage. the sparkthrower was fun but that's like the 14th gimmick in this 100 second stage and that’s too many gimmicks. costumes are truly nothing to write home about, extremely unclear relation to the theme. if you're gonna be wolves then at least have some fur accents or something. the makeup effects were a bit over the top and not necessary in the actual performance. a hairdresser needs to thin out felix’s hair because he looks like he's wearing one of those lego hair helmets. oh, i did like that one guy’s shirt with the collarbone cutout, but again: how is that relevant to the theme? cmon people!!!! design the whole experience!! im sure there’s more i could write but holy shit this is long and im tired and also i don't want to watch this stage anymore.

ok im done. jesus this is long. again, this is just the intro stage so i suspect that some of my complaints will become null next week, but we’ll have to see! well, what i actually want to see is changmin insulting children but i’m not holding out hope for that to happen. hopefully we see some more spectacle-y stages and i can really go in.

***this is not me saying that taemin has a bad choreo that he’s making the best of. want is purposefully choreographed that way in order to showcase taemin’s ability. same with move. the point of want is that it IS awkward and should not be seductive or appealing and yet it still is. almost like....it’s in the name of the song or something.....

[willzzart]

TIL: Final Evaluation

For our first day on this project we had to find a minimum of 9 images from artists, architects or from history which explore diverse approaches to ‘towers’, ‘structures’ ‘stacking’ – some could be art, some could be drawings, some could be from films/games and some from real life locations.

we then had to write 5 words that describe each image under each. but the artist who inspired me the most through out the project was Sebastian Luca, i like how his work is very fantasy/futuristic like.

For then 2nd task we had to create our own towers from items we could find around my house an garden in totally i made 4 different structures but only ended up doing 2 of the ones i made. I then took photos of my towers from all different angles and using different lightings to get the look of size.

For the 4th task i used the photographs i took to develop a series of drawings. i made 10 drawings in total, 5 for each structure and i did 3 detailed drawings and the rest were quick drawings.

for my final outcomes i decided to make 2 final pieces, i ended up using photoshop for both outcomes. for the first one i took all my detailed drawings and made a little village buy cutting them out then transferring them i also had to duplicate  one of the drawings again. The second outcome turned out to be difficult to make as I'm not used to using photoshop and im just not good at using it but this didn't stop me after a few tutorial videos i was able to work it out a little. so finally getting the gist of it i uploaded a photo i took on one of my walks as a background i then cut out the lamp adding it to the background, it looked out of place so i decided to cut a bit of the ground and placing it above the bottom of the lamp. after i done that i downloaded a few pictures that being a staircase, window, swing and a wind turbine. Then adding those to the picture, after that i just tried to blend it all together and played around with effects.

in total this was an alright project i wish we had more time on it as i didn't get as much work done as i wanted to but besides that it was fun making sculptures something i would like to try again.

[knifehecker]

undertale day [long post]

it’s the 15th!! happy 4th birthday undertale!!! normally i try to do a little art or something but this year i decided to do something a little different. there’s a lot of content that’s become core tenets of my experience with the fandom -- changed the way i thought about the characters, how i engage with the fandom, opened my eyes to new ways of writing -- and i thought it’d be neat to compile some of those into one post to share with other people. so without further ado!!!

40-minute Deltarune Piano Medley - FaceImplosion [MUSIC]

ok, i know this is deltarune and not undertale, but this medley incorporates songs from both games so i’m gonna say it counts. and honestly, i could say a LOT about this piece!! i’ve watched and listened to a lot of ut/dr medleys, and this has to be the most lovingly crafted of its type that i’ve ever seen. Ever. a lot of care has been put into the order and combination of the songs (some funny, some sad, some mindblowing, ALL amazing) and the art is so good that every time i listen i find myself watching along. there’s a lot of easter eggs, especially for the attentive listener/watcher, and this medley deserves far more than the 6k views it’s gotten so far.

Undertale Album Project - Various Artists [MUSIC]

Songs From Mt Ebott is a collaborative album project that contains dozens of tracks from a score of different artists. i have a lot of favorite tracks from this album, not to mention the individual track art created for each, and if you’ve never heard of this project before, i really recommend giving it a listen! (FaceImplosion also did a piano track for this album, by the way, which i’m linking separately because it’s one of my aforementioned favorites.)

Chara - tigerblossom [MUSIC]

im not gonna lie. this was my favorite piece of fan music for a long time. it’s a medley mashing a few different songs together, short and sweet, but it comes together in such an incredibly heartfelt way at the end that whenever i end up listening to it i find myself wishing the track was about five minutes longer. they also have an underfell version of your best friend that i recommend giving a listen!

Photographs - FuriousPoplar [FIC]

in terms of “post-paci everyone lives au”s, there’s been a lot of ground covered by a lot of different people, and after a while the concept feels almost a bit...same-y? but this fic covers a sorely-needed conversation between an alive chara and asriel in a way that i’ve never seen approached by anyone else before. it’s cathartic, it’s extremely well written, and it doesn’t shy away from the ugly sides of trauma and recovery, which is so greatly appreciated. it also hit me...REALLY hard, which i think is a testament to how amazing this piece is.

Turn Back - foxsgloves [FIC]

i read this one pretty early on in my time in this fandom, and it’s continued to influence me long after. the premise: frisk keeps loading over the brief time asriel has his body in the epilogue, and simply spends time with him as they both prepare to move on towards the end. it’s sad. it’s cute. it’s amazing. it’s something i go back to reread sometimes late at night when i want to reread something friendly and familiar and a little sad. and its been one of my favorites ever since i read it.

You Wear Your Grief Like a Badge - Draikinator [FIC SERIES]

how do you even TALK about ywyglb? do i talk about nate’s impeccable voice in their writing? how true to character they are with the kids? how they set the scene of a post-pacifist world still shaking with the echoes of the past? the series starts with flowey taking frisk’s soul captive while chara and sans form an uneasy alliance in order to get them back, and then spirals into a tense, sweet, funny, awful, heartbreaking experience that reshaped how i viewed the boundaries of my own writing. draikinator’s writing has been and continues to be a huge inspiration to me, and i heartily recommend giving any of their stuff a try.

A Numbered List of Things That Aren't as Badass as They Sound (ex. Monsters, Suicide, Burning in Hell) - rosyy [FIC]

a brief glimpse into chara and asriel just before It Happens, While It Happens, When It Happens. the prose here is the sort of flowery delirious feverdream you’d expect from a kid dying of buttercup poisoning, and i love it to bits. i also want to mention a dr who crossover by the same author, because it has kris as the doctor and frisk as the stray they adopt, and its also the perfect antidote to the angst the first fic provides.

Risen Up (or, Of Fallen Children and Mountain Kin) - paradoxpangolin [FIC]

oh jeezums, how do i even start with this one? post-paci, frisk comes to the conclusion that the best way to ease the tensions between human and monsterkind is to put on a musical about their time in the underground!!!!.....except this leads to its own host of complications, and things get a bit Messy. this fic hasn’t updated in a bit, but it contains so much in its 140k of already published writing that i feel the need to urge you to read it anyway. i’m really partial to autistic frisks, and this fic has what’s got to be my favorite portrayal of that in ... probably the entire fandom? honestly, most (if not all) of the characters in this fic are autist, and it’s just. very good. i love.

you’re like a mirror, reflecting me - batterytriplicate [FIC]

a daemon au exploring what frisk and chara’s journeys might have been like with the extra distinction between monster dust and daemon dust. i completely forgot about this fic until i was trawling through my ao3 history for this post, and i’m really really glad i found it again. i think i was in the middle of trying to figure out this exact au when i first found this fic, and it did everything i was thinking of (and more) so much better that i felt more than content leaving it at that. so if you like his dark materials and want to see a fantastic little daemon au, give this a shot!

soulless-pacifist - vsemily [ASK BLOG]

soulless-pacifist..... if you’ve never heard of this askblog, you’re in for a treat. i wasn’t with it from the very beginning, but i started reading towards the  middle of its main story arc and stuck with it to the end, and suffice it to say, it has to be my favorite fandom askblog to date, purely for how well its written, how well its drawn, and how it’s one of the....only askblogs i’ve ever seen come not only to a FULL conclusion, but to a satisfying one! the mun also worked with a programmer to create a fangame for its final arc, which is so above and beyond that im still kind of in disbelief. in short: this askblog followed frisk and their passenger after the events of a soulless pacifist route, and continues on with them as they grow together and find their place with a whole host of twist and turns in store.                also, memes.

Shine your light with me, chase all the dark away - FancifulRivers [FIC]

this au follows frisk and chara after the events of the game. unlike most post-paci runs, though, chara has their own body back, while they and frisk are hiding back in mt ebott after the monsters have left to avoid the complications of being runaways and also.... incredible guilt and trauma. things don’t really work out like that, though, and i really recommend this read. fancifulrivers has also been an incredibly prolific writer who’s uploaded a lot of really good ut fics, so this is a great starting point to jump off of for their other stuff!

repercussions - proximally [FIC]

this fic... i think this one fic is the one that’s impacted me the most during my early days of this fandom. it’s short, and sad, and is a twist on the soulless pacifist ending that i was left thinking about literally for months after i first read it. instead of saying any more and risking spoiling it, i’ll just leave the author’s desc:  “You made a mistake, and you pay for it with your life. “

The Great Boondoggle - Masu_Trout [FIC]

the premise of this fic is pretty simple. post paci, frisk is walking home. they come across a Bad Guy. hijinks ensue. but what sets apart this fic from others for me is the way frisk is written here. when this fic was published in early 2016, most frisks i came across were the...sweet harmless woobies that were pretty typical from the fandom. this is one of the first frisks i came across that was kind of mean, and a little cold, and had very obviously had a long upward climb to being the sort of person who chose mercy instead of fight. this portrayal is a lot more common nowadays, which i’m super grateful for, but since this is one of the first fics i came across that really nailed this portrayal, i felt i should leave this here. i also recommend their pokemon/ut au, which is toriel and frisk centric and i also love to bits.

and....well, i was gonna say “that’s it”, but i honestly had to cut quite a few things from this list to keep it from stretching the dash too much. there’s been a lot of incredible content created by this fandom over the years, and this is by no means a comprehensive list of my favorites. but these are some of the ones that impacted me in a really special way, and if you were kind enough to check them out and maybe even liked them, please consider leaving a kind comment for the creator! if you’re the author of one of these pieces reading this right now: thank you so much! im looking forward to finding even more favorites in this year and the next.

[survivor-tierradelfuego]

Ep. 12: “everyone is feeling pity for me...WHICH IS AMAZING” - Pedro

Najwah

I don't think I'm good at survivor lmao. I don't like what it's doing to me. Initially the blindsiding and voting put felt like nothing but it's getting so hard every day. I've known these people for almost a month now and I've grown so close to them. These feelings of paranoia and trying to go after people is just a lot. Also the idea of using people pisses me off. I told Cody and Sarah that my bond with Amy wasn't like that but they still felt as though they needed to try to get Amy "for the numbers" instead of trying to talk to Pedro or something - which annoys me. I don't want to use people for numbers. I don't want to use people at all. My perspective has changed completely. I'm still PLAYING but as I say repeatedly, my connections with humans is more important than an ego boost that comes with winning. Amy finally contacted me again after I asked her whether she was angry with me. She said yes bc I didn't choose her as my closest ally in the previous challenge.  Thanks again James. So basically she saw I chose someone else, but she chose me as her closest ally. And I chose her as the person I trust the most and she chose Maddison? Am I not supposed to be mad at that too? I just miss her. We had such a fun friendship going. Now it's just scrambling and game talk with Sarah and Cody. It's a lot. I'm still not sure whether I want to tell Sarah about my super idol but I'm guessing Cody already had. That's why he's pressurising me to tell Sarah lmao. Also I'm not sure where their heads are at and how they feel about me. Whether they are just keeping me here because of my superidol. Either way, I guess I'm glad to be here. 

Olivia A

Cody has been VERY enthusiastic about the fact that he wants to work closely with me moving forward. In this challenge, however, when given the choice to take away Pedro’s immunity or my immunity, he took away mine!! That was very telling that they are trying to pull Pedro in for numbers and don’t actually want to work with us lol. Kinda stupid of them. 

Maddison

Pedro keeps scrapping by and is definitely now working with old Hanuha... Pedro! you’re on the bottom with them!! (and us too, oop)

Pedro A

okay everyone is feeling pity for me...WHICH IS AMAZING.....i can use that to get a little further in the game...even tho i still think my days are numbered....BUT I THINK WE MIGHT GET MADDISON´S ass out of game..its my only chance to stay lol

Aimee

I dedicate this song to Maddison! Alina Baraz - Trust https://youtu.be/Akgs6Lu0AiI I’m so happy I can trust you in this game. I feel it. You really comforted me when Grae and then Ben got their torches snuffed. You have never wronged me and I think I’m a good judge of character. We just click. I’m glad I can just pour all myself out to you and all my game thoughts. You never know when you’re the next one off the skype island and I want you to know everything. I’m not writing your name down in this game. Old Hanuha it’s gonna have to blindside me a 4th time. Lol and I’m closer with Pedro in this game than they realize. So if they try to pull his vote, hopefully I will know. 🤞 I honestly hope I wasn’t too suspicious on last immunity challenge that I never cut your rope. I wish you didn’t get out first round in this one! 😢😟 Aimee

Pedro has really helped pass the time at jury duty today. It’s fun chatting with him about the legal systems in our countries and cracking jokes at each other. Speaking of game for a moment, you can’t just ignore someone in this game like Pedro and treat them like an outcast and then expect to use them when you see fit. I have a genuine connection with him and even now I’m sitting here wondering.... do I save him this vote? There’s a lot to consider. It’s funny how old Hanuha thinks they can just grab any old Maola and work with them. Sorry guys you might be a little bit late to that game. I’ve heard from just about all of them how disingenuous old Hanuha is being. Hahahahaha sorry but I’ve been there with all of old Maola WAY before you have. They can see that I’ve been forthcoming and building relationships for days and not some last minute sketch as hell thing. It truly pays off to not lie or be messy when you have no reason to be. I guess that’s what happens when you’ve been blindsided and left out so much....I had no choice but to adapt my game. Maybe one day you’ll find out what that’s like too? I’ve been thinking so many steps far ahead and predicting potential moves before they happen. It’ll take a lot for them to get an old Maola vote without me knowing about it. https://64.media.tumblr.com/5edf24d4321044ba332b90b161d0f442/587280b4d69b93c7-b5/s400x600/8f010451e459cb39058854d9655031b4bb9b617f.gifv

Maddison

I know I’m a target again tonight, so its a good thing I have the idol in my pocket.

Olivia A

Maddison found an idol!! We think they are going to go for Maddison so she’ll play it for herself and we’re going to vote Cody out. He might have an idol too, though, so we might switch it to Najwah and hope they don’t expect that. I think we have Aimee with us so if we get Cody or Najwah out we’ll be in the majority. 

Najwah

So the plan initially was to get Olivia out but Amy L messaged me to tell me that her tribe is trying to get Aimee on board to vote me out? And apparently Pedro is on board with that too. However, Amy wants to get Maddison out but just not right now. And that's problematic because I really wish Amy would work with me. At what point does she want to work with me I don't understand. Also, she's talking to Pedro about her and my alliance and its starting to freak me out. For some reason she thinks I'm at the bottom of my alliance? Sigh. So she told us Olivia has an idol which puts a spanner in the works. It's two hours to tribal and I think I'm about to get blindsided lmao. Unless I vote for Amy, this is a high possibility. If she just came to work with me to get Maddison out, I could protect her but as long as she's part of their alliance, I can't really do much. I honestly wish she'd just vote with us. I don't want to get her out. I wanted an African Queen final. She suggested that we get Maddison or Olivia out and then she, her and Pedro and Maddison start our own alliance and get Cody, Sarah and Aimee out. And then Maddison and it's her, me and Pedro in the final. 💀 I just.. I don't want to betray people to that extent. Yes it's a game but also, it's just a game. I hate that I'll have to write Amy down for this. HATE It and it makes me fucking sad but whyyyyy won't she just work with us. Now she has my fake idol too dammit. We could trick Maddison so easily. Ugh. I just hope she'd change her mind within the next couple of hours. I really don't want to lose the one person I trust in this game. Fuck. While Magnificent Maddison is still in? Our game could definitely go to shit. Who's to say Aimee won't vote with Maddison and Pedro next. Why are we not getting the biggest threat out? I don't understand. Even Amy thinks she's a threat but when it comes doen to it she just never wants to vote her? Whyyyyyy

Sarah

My video link won’t upload so... I’ll send this in for now. 

For tonight’s vote, the four old Hanuha and Pedro want to vote together and we don’t have too much of a preference who we vote for. But, Naj found out through Amy that Olivia has an idol so we can either make it sound like we are voting Olivia or Maddison and hopefully flush an idol. So I talked to Naj and said I think we may be safer to vote Amy because we know an idol won’t be played on her and Amy won’t vote with or work with Naj completely. Amy is just being a messagener so she’s not really worth keeping around if she won’t work with us. Also, I don’t think Aimee wants to vote Olivia or Maddison. So the plan is to blindside Amy tonight and hopefully nothing crazy happens with advantages.  

Olivia A

Maddison found an idol!! We think they are going to go for Maddison so she’ll play it for herself and we’re going to vote Cody out. He might have an idol too, though, so we might switch it to Najwah and hope they don’t expect that. I think we have Aimee with us so if we get Cody or Najwah out we’ll be in the majority. 

Amy A

There’s so much happening in my personal life and this game is my sanity which is funny because it’s ANYTHING but sane in here. The vote is going bonkers once again. I don’t know what will happen. There are names everywhere. I just hope I survive another night. 

Olivia A

So the official plan is to vote Najwah. Amy told Pedro that we’re voting Cody so hopefully he relays that false info to Hanuha people. He also accidentally sent Amy some messages along the lines of “amy and maddison want me to vote w them but don’t even tell me the plan...” lmao so we have it confirmed that he’s telling Hanuha everything. I’m not sure if it’s a good or bad thing that Pedro didn’t include me in that/assume I’m working with them. Maybe I am a goat! Not sure. Everything Maddison has done (whom everyone thinks is the big target) is something that I also did. We’ve been working in collaboration literally the whole game and come up with all plans together. That doesn’t feel like a goat to me. 

Pedro A

I'm FUCKING SCAREDDDDD....like I don't trust Maddison and olivia....why would I vote with them...but at the same time...... I would just get 6th and 5th...LIKE COME ON...from the bottom to the powerful position..Idk how much more I can take...IM DYINGGGGGGGGGGGGG KILL ME ALREADY...sorry im literally a psycho ...#streampsycho by red velvet THO....but at the same time...Amy wants me to vote Cody......I CAN'T BE THE LAST MALE IN THE GAME....everyone will come for me

Maddison

I know I’m a target again tonight, so its a good thing I have the idol in my pocket.

Olivia A

Ahhh now Amy is being sus. She said she started talking to Najwah pretending she was interested in flipping to get info. But she never shared that w Maddison and me while it was happening so that makes me think she was actually interested in flipping. Also she apparently told Najwah that Maddison and I are super close! I don’t like that. I feel like I’m going home tonight. 

Cody A.

https://youtu.be/l8RU7yci6kY

Cody A.

https://youtu.be/u5Wj3o0jqZE