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cutesuki--bakugou · 4 years

Text

Reckless

Rating: Explicit Warnings: Rough Sex (Vaginal), biting, scratching, breeding, very minor mention of blood, degrading, dirty talk Words: 7812 Pairing: Dragon Fantasy AU Bakugou Katsuki x Fem!Reader

BTW, please blacklist the tag cutesuki-lemons if you do not want to see this content from my blog. I will no longer be tagging with specific keywords for this type of content.Thank you~

Due to the nature of this post, the characters are 18+

Taking huge risks was never really your thing. All your life living in the castle, you always followed the rules of your role, never stepping out of bounds and never taking chances. You had always thought about it, asking for a different position or perhaps more pay, maybe even just a change in shift. But, in the end, you always decided that, not only was it not worth the possible outrage your superiors could slam upon you, but you could lose what made your position so absolutely wonderful. A change in your work life could rip you away from the presence of your Lord, who you had grown very attached to in an obviously one-sided romantic connection.

Working with him multiple times during the weeks he was present at the castle was like a dream you never wanted to let end. As a scholar and war strategist, you were his first line of contact when it came to important political or wartime plans, and you cherished the contact and respect he had for you. Your Lord wasn’t one to trust people easily, but with you, it was like he could share even his deepest worries and secrets without worry that you would betray him. Never in your life would you even consider doing such a thing, because in truth, you loved him.

There were many reasons why you shouldn’t be so enamored with him, but in the end, all they did was make your desires stronger. To the world, to his people and enemies, he was a ruthless brute. Conquering lands and expanding his territory was his constant goal, and even at his young age, he had been incredibly successful. His people respected him, his warriors would die for him, and his enemies cowered at his feet. It was so incredibly attractive to you, to watch him in action and know that you were helping him on this journey, that you were the one to help push him forward. No matter what other opportunities you knew you had, if you were to just simply ask, there wasn’t a chance in hell that you would take it. You didn’t take those risks because you wanted to be here, at his side as much as you were allowed.

Bakugou Katsuki was your Lord, but he was also the man that made your knees tremble with just a simple glance. He made you soft and filled with such a longing that made your chest ache terribly, and you craved to feel his hand against your skin. Anything would do. A simple touch on your arm. A brushing of his fingers against yours. A secure grip on your hips. A rough tug of your hair in his fist.

No, no! You couldn’t let your thoughts go that way. It was highly inappropriate for you to think that way of your Lord, even if he was the most attractive man you had ever laid eyes on. Your thoughts on him could click from cute to extreme lust in the time it would take you to blink, and they did so frequently, no matter how you tried to stop it. That adorable fluffy blonde hair matched with that piercing crimson gaze always had your heart racing, and the thick, muscular figure didn’t exactly quell your urges.

You tried everything you could think of up to this point to get over him. You saw other men who were just as equally built or with similar personalities, but none of them could match up to the way he made you feel without having ever even laid a finger on you. You could imagine in the moment that it was him touching you. Fucking you. They could quench your thirst when it was unbearable, but it was just never enough. You wanted to know what it was like to be closer to him. But how could you?

You had tried, with subtle hints or during moments of casual conversation that came up during your meetings. An innocent batting of your eyelashes or brushing of your hand along his arm that was, of course, completely accidental. A flirtatious smile. A sultry giggle. A peek down the front of your corset as you bent over the maps to talk strategies. In the end, it was impossible. Sure, you had caught him peeking at your skin or your curves when he thought you weren’t looking, but that wasn’t enough to convince you he was even remotely interested.

Although your body was on fire for him, it wasn’t all that you wanted. There were cute things about him that you had seen during the times you were alone with him. The way he covered his mouth when you said something that could make him laugh, or the excited grin that would break his face when you gave him good news. You had caught him napping on occasion, and his expression was so soft and calm. You knew there was more behind the short fuse and anger he carried, and it was something that you hoped to see one day. The softness that he had within him was fiercely protected, not only to keep up this image that he was a brutal man, but also because he just wasn’t ready to share those parts of him.

Especially not with someone whom he wasn’t romantic with, like yourself. He was calm and collected around you, sure, but that could purely be from the nature of your professional relationship. But what if it was more? What if he was really and truly comfortable around you? You could only hope so.

Hope wasn’t really working for you, however, and the longer you waited to do anything, the bigger your fears grew that he may pick a different woman. Bakugou was a Lord, someone who would need to have heirs to pass his lineage down to, and that meant that he would eventually need to have a wife and children. He had talked about it a few times with his advisors and counsel as far as needing there to be someone in case he was killed in battle or some other tragic event. Each time, he blew it off, but never gave any hints as to why he wasn’t actively searching.

Although he didn’t want a wife, that didn’t mean that he didn’t have women at his disposal. Being a very frustrated man, much of his stress relief was in the form of sex, and he had plenty of handpicked concubines to serve him. There was a special magic done on each one of them so they could not get pregnant by him, and that procedure was highly regulated by Bakugou and his advisors to make sure there would be no illegitimate children. In truth, you weren’t sure of the exact number of women he had at his beck and call, though you knew it was at least in the double digits by now.

There was a very good reason for that, and it wasn’t just because he grew bored with the women. Bakugou was dragon kin. That meant that he had powers, abilities, and features of a dragon while he was able to keep a mostly human form. Those included enhanced senses such as eyesight and smell. Sharp canines and nails that he tried desperately to keep trimmed. More strength and stamina. But, your favorite was something that you’re pretty sure he wasn’t even aware that you knew.

He purred. This strong, gruff, and rough man would occasionally purr. A deep, low rumble in his chest during moments of true relaxation or happiness. You had heard it a few times, when you caught him sleeping before a meeting, resting his head on his arms against the table. It was truly the most adorable thing you had ever heard, and you wondered if he was dreaming about something - or someone - special.

There was something less adorable that came along with his bloodline, and that particular thing was what affected the number of women he had in his life. Ironically enough, it was the urge to mate. He hated talking about it, so you didn’t know much, but he was frustrated how he felt like nothing but an uncontrollable animal during those few months. It was so difficult for him, in fact, that he locked himself away in his chambers until it was over, if he was able. If he had war or political things to attend to, then it was a decent distraction. But, when he didn’t have that, then all he could do was hide away with his women.

That’s why there were so many. His needs and urges were nearly insatiable during this time, and even if they could go for a while, the women would eventually need a break. It was an almost constant rotation, though you were never sure of exactly what went on behind those doors. You were free to imagine it in the comfort of your room, hand between your legs as you pictured him absolutely ravaging you from behind.

Although the thoughts of what he was doing in that room made your body incredibly hot, it also worried you. What if he had a favorite woman that was stealing his heart before you could even have the chance? They were all his body type, since he had picked them in the first place, and they were obviously fluent in how to pleasure him. What if they had a personality he liked, too? If that were so, how could you ever find a way to stand out or get his attention?

Well, you knew how.

You had to take a risk.

A huge one.

And that just wasn’t your thing.

That didn’t matter. If you wanted your chance with him, then you knew that you had to put yourself out there in a more… obvious way. You had to show him that you wanted him. Subtle hints just weren’t going to work anymore, if they had worked at all up to this point. It was time to literally jump into the lion's den - or, in this case, dragon’s den - and offer yourself to the beast. And, in reality, that wasn’t an exaggeration. He was in peak rut season right now, and from what you heard, he was absolutely feral. In fact, it was so intense this year that the male servants he had bringing him food had to literally run away before he ripped them to shreds in a territorial rage. There were even rumors that he was showing signs of dragon features that were rare for him, including scales along his skin. Those were just rumors, as far as you could tell, because some said he didn’t and some said he did.

It was of little consequence. You would see for yourself.

Although Bakugou was impossible to please during this time, he still kept up a schedule of sorts, and after some spy work, you learned that he actually had been sleeping most of the night and his concubines didn’t start showing up to his room until sunrise. That meant all you had to do was show up before that time. Right? An hour or two before anyone shows up would be plenty of time to see if he’d either take you or reject you.

So, dressed in nothing but a shift and a coat, you silently made your way through the castle to his chambers, avoiding others who may try to question you. Since it was so early in the morning, before sunrise, there weren't many people out, so the journey was less stressful than you had prepared yourself for. Though, you wished you had done more prepping to have enough bravery once you reached the entrance to his room. You had decided to not go through the main door, and since you knew the route that cleaning servants took and the location of the hidden door, this was a perfect plan to avoid being caught.

Even still, it took an incredible amount of courage to finally place your hands against the cold stone, nibbling at your bottom lip nervously. You had thought of everything that could go wrong already, and of course, it was rushing back to you like a violent storm. You could be fired. You could be killed. You could be banished. You could be simply rejected and forced to continue your normal life with an incredible sense of shame and regret. You could fall only further in love with him. He could admit his feelings for you. He could use you for his own uncontrollable sexual pleasure.

He could accept you.

That’s what kept you from running. There was still hope that he would take you as his woman, which you wanted more than anything.

You just prayed that you weren’t going to end up biting off more than you could chew.

After a final trembling breath, you carefully pushed the door open, just wide enough so you could fit through before shutting it behind you. Since it was made to be quiet, there was barely a sound in the dim light of the fireplace, which was blazing across the room. Soft, warm heat rolled across the large room, bringing relief to your cold bare feet and legs. In the flickering shadows, Bakugou’s large bed loomed over the room like a large hungry beast, the posts tall and reaching for the ceiling. The footboard that you could see was very ornate, with dragon bones, horns, and scales, which matched the color of the canopy drapes that hid the man inside.

Or, it would have. Much to your surprise, you could see rips and tears in the fabric as you stepped closer, which you assumed came from one of his many lustful sessions. There were pillows and blankets also scattered across the floor, abandoned in favor of sleep, and the remnants of his last meal were sitting on a table near the head of the bed.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

The dark growl of a voice startled you so badly that you jumped, stumbling back against the wall, eyes darting this way and that to find the source. In the darkest corner of the room, you could see Bakugou’s shadow-cloaked figure, his reflective pupils visible as he glared at you. Feeling heat rush to your cheeks as you tried to calm your racing heart, you placed your hands on your chest, keeping pressed up against the wall. Before finding the strength to answer, you looked over what you could see of his figure, only able to tell that he was perched up on a chair with his legs pulled up into the seat. It was a stiff and uncomfortable position, as if he were forcing himself to stay in place.

“I… I, uhm… Why are you awake so early?”

“Are you fucking serious? You’re walking into my room in the middle of the damn night, and you’re asking me why I’m awake?”

“I… I had just heard that you were having more trouble than usual. I hadn’t heard from you about any of the strategies I sent in and… I got worried.” You could hear the bullshit in your own voice, and you wanted to just bite your own tongue off. Already, you were chickening out of your plan, but his aggressive presence was more radiant than you expected. It was throwing off the small amount of confidence that you had gathered, which you knew you needed to get back as quickly as possible.

A low rumble escaped him as he lowered his legs to the ground, the growl sending a harsh shiver down your spine. It was so aggressive and intimidating that you nearly felt the need to cower down to the ground, but you kept yourself up on weak legs. It was odd, how he was both frightening you and filling you with a raging lustful fire at the same time.

Clutching at the front of your coat, you stepped away from the wall, but was once again startled to a halt by his voice.

“Bullshit. I know you. You’d just send a letter instead. That’s what you’ve always done when I’m like this. On top of that, you’re sneaking around the servant’s halls like a rat.” His teeth were visible as he snarled, clutching on tightly to the arms of the chair. “You think you’re being slick, huh?”

“I don’t know what you mean…”

“Yes, you do. You wanted me alone. Sneaky, figuring out my schedule and getting in here without anyone noticing. I’m both impressed and pissed off.”

“I… You’re right. I did want to come see you when no one would bother us.” Giving your bottom lip a nervous nibble, you began to unbutton the front of your coat, able to see him only further tense in his chair. “I wanted to… ask you something.”

Bakugou couldn’t take this. How in the hell could this really be happening? This had to be some type of dream, a hallucination brought on by his unquenchable need to breed. How could you actually be here, in his room, at the peak of his rut. It was so dangerous, and you needed to leave. Now, before he lost what little control he had. He wanted to tell you, to snap at you to fuck off, but the words just wouldn’t leave his lips.

He was too enamored already. Your scent filled his senses like the aroma of a delicious fruit, one which he craved to sink his teeth into and let the juices drip down his chin. Just the sight of you made him dizzy, so disheveled and vulnerable.

Unexpecting and unaware.

Beautiful and stupid.

So fucking stupid.

As your coat was shrugged off your shoulders, more of your scent wafted over him, forcing him to further dig his claws into the fabric of the chair to keep himself in place. With the light from the fire, your figure was visible to him as a silhouette beneath your white shift, giving him just a taste of that beautiful body he craved. If only you knew how badly he wanted you. How badly he had always wanted you. But it just hadn’t ever been the right time. He had never made the move.

Now, here you were, tired of waiting and willing to put yourself in such a compromising situation. Your years of flirting, teasing, and genuine care for him was always something he paid great attention to, and the feelings weren’t unwelcomed, like you must have assumed. Of course, he knew it was his fault for refusing to take that step you both craved.

Still…

This wasn’t the right time.

“Tell me what you want,” Bakugou growled, his heartbeat so loud in his ears he could hardly even hear himself. It pulsed through his entire body to his crotch, his cock already hard and straining painfully against the fabric of his sleeping pants. “You’re fucking stupid for coming here. Don’t you know what I could do to you?” Tell her to leave! “Don’t you know what’s wrong with me?” I need to throw her out! Fuck, I want her. I want her! Damn it!

Letting your coat fall to the floor, you took a few steps closer, swallowing the hard lump that had grown in your throat. “I just can’t wait to find out anymore, my Lord.” Growing shy, you timidly fiddled with the fabric of your shift, your body growing hotter with his reaction to the formality. Bakugou’s breathing grew incredibly heavy, his head hanging as he tried to not look at you.

“Don’t fucking… call me that… Don’t say that!” He spoke with a trembling, angry growl. “Just fucking tell me what you want!”

“Y-you! I want you! You oblivious jerk!”

“Oblivious?!” Bakugou barked, standing up so roughly that the chair toppled backwards behind him. The volume of his voice and the movement startled you enough to make you take a few steps back, bringing your hands up to your chest defensively. “I’m oblivious?! You moron! Look who’s just waltzed into my room knowing damn well I’m dangerous right now.”

“I don’t care,” you stood your ground as Bakugou began to come towards you, his hands balled into fists at his side. “I’m not scared of you. I know that you wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want.”

“You’re smart enough to know that I’m not completely myself right now. I don’t know what I could do.” His tall and broad stature was incredibly intimidating as he got closer, breaking your tough front and making you stumble over your feet stepping backwards. It wasn’t only his form that caught you off guard, but the intensity of his glare and the patches of crimson scales that broke his skin along his cheeks, chest, and shoulders.

It was true, what the servants had said about him. This was the worst he had been, probably ever, and you were truly curious as to why. Was his body really beginning to grow desperate to have an heir? Was the need to impregnate and breed worse because of his natural instincts, or was it because he knew who he wanted as his mate and he just hadn’t been able to have her?

Your back was once again pressed against the cold stone of the wall as Bakugou pursued you towards it, and in the next instant, you were trapped by his arms on either side of you, palms pressed against the rough surface. He was so close to you that if you relaxed your body, your chests would touch, and it was hard enough to keep the distance as your breathing grew heavy. “I… I know. But I don’t care. I came here now b-because… because you couldn’t ignore me or brush me off so easily.”

“That’s fucking bold of you. Reckless.”

“Why is it so reckless?” You relaxed a little, the warmth radiating from his body calming your momentary fears. “Other women can be with you… Why can’t I?”

“Are you serious? You’re comparing yourself to one of my whores? To a bitch I can snap my fingers at and have her at my feet? You think that lowly of yourself?”

Confused, you gave a small shake of your head, feeling an odd fluttering in your stomach. “That’s… I don’t mean that. I mean… it’s safe for other women, why couldn’t it be safe for me?”

“It’s not safe for them. Why do you think I have to rotate? I could hurt them. I have, however unintentionally. You’re not like them. Don’t compare yourself to them like this… It pisses me off.”

“Why?”

“Because I respect you.”

A fierce heat rushed to your cheeks, spreading across your skin to burn your ears and even your eyes. You had wanted this type of response from him, but it was still such a shock to hear it. Not exactly the love confession you were wanting, but it was something, and he hadn’t forced you out of the door just yet.

But there was something else, paired with his response that made your heart race. That glare, so dark and frustrated, had softened into what you could only describe as… gentle. There wasn’t a single crease or frown line on his gorgeous face, bringing such a sweetness to him. Even his pupils had relaxed, the thin reptile like slits now wide and blown out. There was more than just respect in that gaze.

“My Lord,” your voice hitched as he tensed at the formality, shifting half an inch closer to you as his pupils constricted. “There’s… more than just respect. Isn’t there?” Your final question wasn’t confrontational. Instead, it was worried, seeking the affirmation you had dreamt of.

“Of course there is. But I can’t do this now.”

Heart sinking, you slowly and carefully brought your hands up to caress his cheeks, but they didn’t stay in place long. The instant you touched his skin, Bakugou grabbed both of your wrists, forcing your arms up over your head against the wall. It was so quick that you barely had time to register what was happening before he began to speak again, a deep growl that you could even feel reverberating in your chest.

“I said I can’t do this now! Don’t just fucking touch me! You don’t understand!” Although he was saying these things, his body was betraying him, pressing in closer to you, one leg slipping between yours to further keep you in place. “I’m not me right now! I’m a fucking animal.”

“T-That’s not true!” The position of your arms was making it difficult to find the breath to speak, unable to resist wiggling in his grip uncomfortably. Your thighs clenched around his and your chest ached up against him, your lips permanently parted against your panting and struggles. “This is you! It’s a part of you, My Lord--”

“--Don’t call me that!”

“-- You have to accept it. I accept it. I want to be here for you.”

You had to stop. Bakugou had to make you stop. Somehow. He wasn’t going to be able to control himself much longer. That beautiful flushed and pleading expression. Your plush breasts pressing against him with every breath and wiggle. The scent of your arousal fogged his mind with every breath and he could hear your heartbeat, so rapid and desperate. He knew that he needed to make you stop this, but he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to stop.

No, at this point, he didn’t think he could stop. How much he adored you was swirling with the fierce need to fill you with his seed, to fuck you for hours on end until you were absolutely filled to the brim. He wanted to mark you, sink his fangs into your soft flesh, taste your sweet essence, and hear you scream his name.

More than anything, he wanted to have you as his mate. His lover. His queen. All these years of having you by his side had always felt so natural, like you were always meant to be there. Now, he had you, so willing and accepting of him even in his darkest moments. Was this really okay? Could he really let himself take you now, when he was unsure of what was love and what was lust?

Frustrated, Bakugou pressed his forehead against yours, clenching his eyes shut tightly to alleviate the red from his vision. Trying to restrain himself so intensely was beginning to grow painful, his muscles and joints aching from the need to just devour you. Even your lips barely brushing against his was enough to send shocking tingles through every nerve, urging him to taste you.

I shouldn’t do this.

But I need her. I want her!

I could hurt her! She doesn’t know what I could do.

She’s not protected by the magic… She could become pregnant--

“Katsuki.”

The sultry sound of his name coming from your lips instantly snapped his restraint like a twig, not even opening his eyes as he kissed you roughly. The feeling of his hot lips against yours made you immediately melt into him, moaning softly with the first rough nibble to your bottom lip in a demand for access. The kiss was sloppy and wet, with little direction except the mutual cravings to taste each other. You couldn’t help but wonder for a moment if he kissed the other women like this, so fierce and passionate, with an unrelenting aggressiveness that made you feel weak in the knees.

Unable to move or find a moment to breathe, you began to struggle again, trying to tug your arms down out of his grip to at least be able to hold him. You had no luck. Instead, he moved to grip both of your wrists with one hand, his other roughly gripping your neck and pressing you back against the wall with a frustrated growl. “You trying to escape me?” His lips left yours, pressing against your flushed cheek with a wicked smirk. A low rumbling began in his chest, a deep and hungry purr that was completely different from the sweet and innocent sound you had heard in the past. “My little pet… You can’t get away, now.”

A soft whimper escaped you, biting down onto your bottom lip as Bakugou ran his tongue along your cheek to your ear, leaving a hot trail of saliva in his wake. “I-I’m not…” You relaxed your head back against the stone, looking up at the ceiling as his tongue slid along the shell of your ear. The pain of his teeth pulling on your earlobe was paired with the pleasure of his knee pressing up into your sex, your clit immediately met with the friction of his pants as there was no underwear to create a barrier.

Able to feel your heat against his leg, his purr only grew deeper, his hand leaving your throat to move down your body. His touch was hot and rough, caressing your figure and digging his sharp nails into your plush areas that he deemed worthy of a squeeze. You couldn’t help but continue to whine and wiggle with the slight pain, only further pleasuring yourself against his leg. “K-Katsuki--”

“Don’t be shy,” Bakugou spoke in your ear, his hot breath running down your neck. “You want me? Show me how much of a horny bitch you are.” His hand set firm on your hip, his teeth lightly scraping along the skin of your jaw. “C’mon, pet. You were so desperate to have me, now you do.”

God, your body was so hot. Every inch of you felt like a raging inferno, and the fire had nowhere else to escape but between your legs. Your sex was throbbing and aching, absolutely begging for his touch. The need was too much, so you began to roll your hips, grinding yourself eagerly against his leg.

“That’s it,” Bakugou released your wrists, tugging your body in closer while still forcing you to straddle his leg. Now, however, each roll of your hips had you pressing into his cock, his girth impressive from what you could feel. Your head free for the moment, you took the chance to look down, eyes glancing over his muscular torso before focusing on the bulge in his pants. The grey fabric was taut against the form of his cock, and was dark with wetness from where you assumed the head to be. You wanted to touch him, to feel him throb in your hands, but you found that they were otherwise engaged.

You were forced to hold on tightly to his shoulders to keep yourself balanced, since Bakugou was doing little to help you. He had both his hands on your ass, holding and squeezing while you fucked his thigh. His lips were still at your neck, growling and panting against your skin with each moment of pressure against his cock. Listening to him, you started to feel lost in the moment, loosening up to instead wrap your arms around his neck. Though, with a sudden rough bump of his leg into your sex, you released a loud moan near his ear, which was quick to set him off again.

Taking the back of your shift into his hands, he ripped the thin fabric open, exposing your back to the chill of the room. “A-ah, Katsuki-- Wait--” Removing his leg from between yours, you found your front pressed into the wall, the torn shift falling in loose rags against your body. Standing behind you, Bakugou kept one hand on your back between your shoulders to make sure you couldn’t move, while his other trailed down your back and to your hip. He left light marks along your skin from his nails, but those really weren’t what he was focusing on. That perfect curve and dip in your back. The shape and plushness of your perfect ass. The light glistening off your skin where your essence had spread across your sex and down your thighs.

“So pretty,” Confident that you weren’t going to move, he released your back to grip your ass in both hands, spreading you open to see every inch of you. You couldn’t stop the twitching of your pussy at his touch, his thumbs so close that your body instinctively arched out more for him. The effort paid off for a moment, his thumbs slipping into your folds to pull your pussy open nice and wide for him. “Fuck… How many other cocks have filled up this pretty pussy?”

Turning your head a bit to look at him over your shoulder, you caught his piercing glare, feeling your core twist at the sight. “N-not that many… They can never satisfy me.”

Leaning forward, Bakugou pressed his lips roughly against your cheek, his hips grinding into yours and digging the length of his cock against your sex. “And none of them ever will,” He growled into your ear. “You’re mine. And once I’m done with you, all you’ll be able to think about is my cock. You’re going to be so fucking marked up and covered in my cum no other man will ever think about touching you.”

“I don’t want any other man. I only want you.”

“Good girl.” Another lick and bite on your ear made you moan softly. “My little pet… My pretty mate.” His hands left you for only a moment to pull his pants down, finally freeing his hard and throbbing cock. It came to rest for a moment between your cheeks, giving you a decent look at it once he sat up from leaning over you. His length and girth matched the size and muscular figure of his body, making your entire body quiver with a mix of excitement and worry.

“S-so big…” Your voice came out as a trembling whisper, though you had expected it to stay in your mind as a mere thought. Bakugou chuckled, slowly running his tip along your wet slit, teasing your clit.

“We’ll see if it’s everything you’ve dreamt about.” Without any further warning, Bakugou began to push his cock into you, the tightness of your cunt pulling a sharp hiss from his mouth. “Oh fuck…!”

The feeling of him entering you immediately made you feel breathless, gasping and digging your nails into the stone wall. “A-ah, wait--! It’s so big! I-I’m not,- I can’t-!”

“You said you could take it, my pet. So take it.”

With a sharp snap of his hips, Bakugou buried himself completely within you, making you cry out and nearly collapse as your knees tried to buckle out from under you. There wasn’t another second that passed before he began to fuck you, holding your hips steady with a fierce grip. It was so much at once that your mind was already going blank, the initial uncomfortable feeling of being so incredibly full beginning to morph into an unrelenting pleasure. It left you completely breathless, barely able to find the strength to stay standing. All you could do was moan.

“How does that cock feel inside you, huh? You like being fucked like the horny bitch you are?” A rough slap to your ass made your voice squeak, and you somehow found the conscious strength to look back at him over your shoulder.

“I-it feels good! M-my Lord, do whatever you want with me!” You gasped as your hair was suddenly in his fist, pulling you back up against his torso. Hand wrapping around your throat, he continued to thrust into you, his lips at your ear as his deep grumbling purr began again.

“Don’t fucking call me that. What is my name?”

“K-Katsuki-!” It was almost impossible to speak through the grip he had on your neck, and mixed with the breathlessness brought on by the pleasure, you weren’t sure if you were even going to stay conscious.

“Say it again.”

“Katsuki!”

“And what am I?”

“M-my mate! Katsuki, please, I--” As your eyes began to roll back, you found your body floating in a hazy sea of pleasure, the lack of steady oxygen making you oblivious to everything else. It had already been building up in your core, pushing you closer and closer towards release, but you just weren’t there yet.

“Are you going to cum already, my little pet?” His nails dug into the skin of your neck, making you wince and whine from the pain. Yet, you didn’t hate it.

“M-more! Katsuki, please- A-ah! Fuck!” Releasing your neck, he grabbed both of your wrists and pulled them back, forcing you to bend over. With this new leverage, he slammed his cock so deep and hard into you that you couldn’t even find the air to moan. Head hanging, you watched his muscular legs and the way your arousal dripped from your ravaged pussy behind blurry, teary vision, only able to take a split second to be amazed at how truly turned on you really were. You were the hottest you had ever been in your entire life, so needy and aching for any attention or passion Bakugou would throw your way. It didn’t matter what he wanted to do to you. You would take it all just to finally be one with him.

Each thrust inside of you had your pleasure spiking, the coil within your core growing tighter and tighter, until the tension was too much to bear. When it finally broke, your body reacted without any conscious thought, twitching and trying desperately to escape the pleasure as he only continued to pound into you against the constricting of your walls. “Ka- a-ah! N-no, wait--!”

“Not so fast, my pet,” Bakugou used his grip on your arms to yank you backwards, one hand firmly on your throat. His other arm latched around your hips, keeping you in place while continuing to roll and dig his cock deep inside you, pressing against that delicious spot that drove you mad. “Fuck, your pussy feels so good squeezing my cock like that. You’re so damn perfect, I just want to fill you up until you’re dripping with my cum.”

“F-fill me up, Katsuki-!” You gave a choked moan as his grip tightened on your neck, his deep, grinding movements returning to the erratic and rough thrusts. You could tell that, in that moment, the thought of pleasuring you at all had completely left him. All that was on his mind now was doing just as he wanted, just as you had asked him to, and you were at his mercy. Even his teeth sinking into the skin of the crook of your neck didn’t deter the pleasure for you, the sudden spike of pain only making you arch your hips up even more for him, up on your tiptoes as far as you could possibly get.

With the movement, Bakugou released a frustrated growl mixed in with his groans and sighs of pleasure, his teeth only sinking further into your skin. The warmth that spread down your collarbone told you that he must have broke skin, but it was nothing compared to the heat that filled your womb in the next instant. The cum that coated your pulsing walls was hotter than anything you had ever felt, bringing a gasp from your hoarse throat. Desperately trying to clutch on to anything that you could to help distract you from the feeling, you snatched onto the arm of the hand that held your neck, clawing at his skin.

“H-hot, oh fuck- it’s so hot!” Although at first it was an uncomfortable sensation, you were slowly enveloped by the warmth, spreading through every inch from the belly out. When you began to relax, your eyes grew heavy, loosening your tense posture to rest back against Bakugou’s broad chest. “So hot… It’s nice…”

Teeth still in your skin, Bakugou began to purr, that same deep and rough sound that vibrated all through your body. Releasing your neck, his hand moved down your body, coming to a stop on your stomach. “Mm…” He smirked against your bleeding skin, running his tongue along the wound. “Delicious… You’re going to look so fucking beautiful when you’re carrying my children.” As he pulled his still hard cock out of you, his cum began to dribble down your trembling thighs, wondering for a moment just how much he had released.

Mind still hazy from the pleasure and the heat, you brought a hand up to tangle into his hair, turning your head to catch his lips. The metallic, sweet taste of your blood of his lips and his tongue were of no consequence, moaning softly against the kiss as both of his hands gripped and squeezed your breasts eagerly. From the feeling of his cock still between your thighs, hard and pulsing, you knew that this wasn’t over. You didn’t want it to be over. He had felt so heavenly inside of you, his attention and affection, however rough it may be, was filling your heart to the brim.

“I want to… Katsuki, please pick me! I want to always be at your side, to be your wife and carry your children.” You turned to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Please make me your mate!”

There wasn’t another word shared between you as he kissed you, cupping your backside to scoop you up into his arms. Legs hooking around his waist, he carried you towards the bed, the plush softness of the blankets against your back lost to the euphoria that was his body intertwined with yours.

…

Bakugou wasn’t sure the time of day when he finally came out of his haze. The red that had blurred his vision had subsided in a sudden flash of white, finding that he was panting quite heavily, his forehead pressed into soft flesh. His consciousness returned to him slowly with the final pounding waves of his orgasm, his cock buried deep within the still twitching and constricting walls of a woman. No, not just any woman. It was his woman. You.

Slowly, he felt tired arms wrap around him, softly stroking up and down his scratched and sweaty back. With this movement, his head was gently pushed further against wherever he rested, which became clear by the pulsing against his lips that it was your neck. With a deep groan, Bakugou kissed your skin softly, working his way up along your jawline to your cheek. Your fingers in his hair made him feel so calm and secure, more than he had ever felt in the weeks since his rut first started.

It was odd. Usually, Bakugou could never stop once he got going. At least, not without using extreme self-control. He would need to keep going until his body was at its limit, but now, there was nothing. All that was left was this overwhelming softness, an urge to protect, and a love that he had refused to accept all these years. You were something so special to him, so incredibly precious, and you were his. All his.

Is that why he finally felt at peace? Is this what he had been missing? Are you what he had been craving for all this time?

The unfamiliar butterflies fluttering about in his stomach were proof enough, bringing him to nuzzle his nose against your cheek as your hand softly stroked his. It was then that the uncontrollable soft rumble began in his chest, which was the complete opposite of the aggressive purr he had been making most of the morning. He finally had you. And he was happy.

“Katsuki,” You spoke in a hoarse whisper, turning your head a bit to finally catch his gaze. “What’s that cute noise you’re making?” Your continued touch along his cheek made him realize that his scales had finally subsided, figuring he was mostly back to normal for the time being. How bad he had gotten, he really couldn’t remember, and just hearing how faint your voice was made him worry.

“Fuck off, you know what it is. Are you alright?”

Clearing your throat, you nodded, smiling against his lips. “I’m fine, Katsuki. Perfect, actually. I’ve never been happier… But I am pretty thirsty.”

“You look it.” Carefully moving some hair out of your face, Bakugou placed a kiss on your lips before sitting up from you, removing his member as well. As he flopped to sit on the bed, he felt a twinge of true concern while looking you over. “Fuck. I was way too damn aggressive.” Bruises, bitemarks, and red scratches littered your beautiful skin, your neck and thighs being the areas that received the most abuse. Shiny with sweat, you were truly a sight to behold, and the amount of his cum that stained your body and pooled between your legs was more than he had seen in a while. You were beautiful and ruined. Marked and scratched. And all his.

“Oh, I really don’t mind.” Sitting up, you lightly ran your fingers along a bite mark on the top of your left breast. “I didn’t know what to expect coming in, but… it really did feel amazing. I’ll be sore, but it’s worth it!” Smiling, you reached over and took both of his hands tenderly, bringing one up to softly kiss his fingers. “Mm… I’m so happy…”

With only a light tug on your hand to beckon you forward, Bakugou let his arms rest around your waist as you straddled his lap, facing him. A soft kiss was shared as you rested against him, the purr returning. “I am, too. It was a stupid fucking thing for you to do, but… I’m glad you took the risk of coming here.”

“You were pretty much moving subconsciously through most of it, though, right?”

“Hm… I mean, I remember some things, and the feelings, but that animalistic part of me was… really strong.”

“I was just gonna say that… it was super cute when you kept calling me your mate,” You couldn’t resist a smile as Bakugou’s cheeks flushed, the color spreading to the tips of his ears. “And you were calling me your pet.”

“Ah... Well, so what if I was?!” Bakugou’s embarrassment instantly had him feeling defensive, even as you laughed and hugged him tightly. “I wanted you, alright?! And not just right then, for fucking years! I was excited-- stop laughing at me!”

You nuzzled your nose against his neck, sighing in happiness as you closed your eyes. “Aahh, Katsuki… you’re so cute. I’m so happy that you picked me, out of all the women you could have.”

“There’s no other woman I’d ever want than you. How about we clean up and get some food. I think we could both use some rest. My beautiful mate…”

#bnha inagines #bnha scenarios #bakugou x reader #bakugou #katsuki bakugou #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #personal #bnha fanfiction #fanfiction #bnha writing blog #xreader #cutesuki-lemons

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strazem · 4 years

Text

I noticed that I’ve been getting blocked by a lot of Ososan artists lately and... At this point I’m sure it’s because of bad rumors and misinfo getting spread about me in discord servers. I’m going to put a lot of this under a readmore because I don’t want to clog people’s dashes with this, but I really want to clear the air here as I feel like there are a lot of things being left out of the narratives people are telling about me, and also the fact this is still happening and has been for four-five years, isolating me from a lot of the ososan community and hurting me in a very deep way...

Now, first off, I’m not here to say that over the past 4-5 years I wasn’t immature and childish. There were many times where I was, even to the point the behaviors could be seen as abusive or toxic even if that wasn’t the intention. I was in my early to mid 20s and had serious issues with oversharing my thoughts and feelings with people I really only knew casually, usually to the point of making them uncomfortable. I would also use all caps a lot, not really realizing the effect it had on people, making others feel like they were being shouted at. I would also act immaturely when I saw that other roleplay blogs were getting more attention than mine, even though the ones I had were for OCs, which meant that of course canon characters would get more traction.

Again, I was very young and not very socially developed. I am by no means trying to use my autism as an excuse, but rather an explanation.

Prior to getting into Ososan around 2016, I did not have any “real life” friends, that is, friends I knew in person. I did not know anyone my age and socializing was, and still is pretty limited to just my immediate family. Almost all of my interactions were online, and even that I struggled with. I had recently gotten out of an abusive relationship as well, and was just starting college. I did not think about how others felt enough and was too concerned with saying my piece and sharing my own opinions, making everything about me or about how I felt, and less about the other person. Again, this is something I’ve struggled with for most of my life as part of my ASD, but I’m still not excusing it by any means, especially considering the fact that other people ended up hurt.

I think the main issue was how immature and self-focused I was if I’m being honest, and how I would tend to make everything about me and how I felt and what I made.

My intentions were always good, that never changed. But as people have stated to me before, good intentions don’t mean anything if the outcome is bad. My immaturity really ended up hurting a lot of other people’s feelings and causing a lot of resentment, and I am by no means saying that anyone has to forgive me or be “ok” with me.

What I do wish though is that perhaps people who I have had struggles with in the past could refrain from spreading biased opinions of me to people who have never even met me. I understand wanting to support your friends, and I also understand that when someone you know tells you someone is “bad news”, it’s natural to take their word for it, especially if they only show screenshots of me at my lowest rather than when I was trying my absolute best to be a good friend, despite my immaturity.

However, I’ll be honest and say that I do think that this behavior in general seems counterproductive and perhaps even concerning... If there’s someone that upset me in my past, I don’t tell others or divulge about them to new people I meet unless I felt they did something actually illegal. I remember misinforming about someone in the ososan community based on false claims and I still feel guilty about it to this day, so I’ve also been guilty of this in the past. It’s also important to keep in mind that if someone is really making someone out to sound terrible or horrible that there is usually a bias clouding their perception. I've sat and reflected a lot on my own biases these past five years in therapy, and at the end of the day, I don’t think most people have bad intentions, at least not lonely kids in a small fandom. I think it’s a lot of miscommunication, lack of confrontation, and fear rather than any malicious intent.

Because if there’s one thing I know that I’m not, it’s a manipulator. I straight up do not have the social intelligence for that. I would all caps, I would get upset and leave chats and worry people, I would go on rants that people couldn’t talk me down from, or get too emotionally volatile, or put my own emotional issues onto other people by panicking and venting and putting on a scary and upsetting scene, but I never tried to manipulate anyone or turn anyone’s friends against them. The only two instances I can think of that even come close to me “warning” anyone about someone (and not for blm*tsu related reasons) happened in 2018 and 2019, well after all of this was (I assumed) done with.

Most of my issues that people have gotten upset with me for was regarding my social immaturity, self-centeredness, altercations, public panic attacks, public mental breakdowns and a tendency to go off on emotional and heated rants, especially in public areas and in public chats. That’s why this thing about me being a manipulator seems misinformed to me, because I’ve never been great at DMing or talking to others one on one, I think anyone that’s known me will agree. Many of these altercations happened in public group chats.

I’m assuming that many of the bad rumors being spread about me are regarding my skype days back in 2016-2017, back before discord became the new norm for online chatting and servers and such, as well as a very specific “drama” that happened on anti-bl oso-twitter concerning people that had met in an osomatsu-san kin discord server (which I was not in or even knew about).

Essentially, I befriended some of these people on twitter through people that had been in my second skype roleplay group (the first one I made was in 2016 I believe). I was unaware of any previous dramas or issues and was even unaware that said “person of interest” was even upset with me or thought I was toxic or bad. I had figured we had just stopped talking due to naturally drifting apart. Of course, in my young and naive mind, before understanding “social media etiquette” I went to go ask them why they had blocked me on twitter (I had started being active on twitter during that time.)

And of course, in my immaturity, was freaking out and panicking about having been blocked by someone I thought was a friend to people in my second roleplay group chat... As always... Ugh.. It wasn’t anything malicious though, just confusion and me being scared I had done something wrong.

One member in the roleplay group though, who I guess was a member of the osomatsu-san kin discord, started going off about said “person of interest”, claiming they had gotten their friend into a car accident and that they had groomed minors. Another person in the roleplay group felt the allegations were crazy and unfounded and left. Meanwhile, I was just lost as to what was even happening, I wasn’t aware these people were this connected or knew each other and admittedly, did a pretty poor job as a mod/admin that I didn’t stop the discussions sooner.

I have no idea if the claims were true or not, I imagine they were exaggerated due to bias, I have no idea, but then the same person who had made those claims showed me screenshots that “person of interest” sent to their mutual friend about me. How I was scary and toxic, that I had upset lots of people.. That they were panicking that I even contacted them on tumblr with a friendly “hello!”

Naturally, I responded with confusion. Again, my autism makes it very difficult for me to realize when people are upset or frustrated with me, especially over text. At the time, I couldn’t think of anything I had done to upset them and was very hurt and confused, as our last actual interaction had been seemingly positive.

I did not try to turn anyone against them though. Here’s what actually happened: After being given this info, I also learned that there was a small discord group of the friend group that the person making the claims was from. I joined it hoping to learn more or get some sort of clarification only to find out that this entire group was very upset with “person of interest”. Like very upset. They made claims that this person lied, that this person liked to play victim as a way to manipulate others, that they had groomed two of the people in the group, that they had said unsettling things, that they would do strange and backhanded things ect. Again, I don’t know if these statements are true and I’m not trying to claim they are, I just know that this group of friends had been very upset with "person of interest” before I had even come into the picture. They were already planning on cutting them off!

I did not sway anyone or say anything, I was literally just there in the hopes of finding out if I’d done something wrong.

Of course, this doesn’t at all excuse when I was still friends with “person of interest” and subjected them to my barrage of emotional baggage and panic attacks. I just want to make it clear that I never sent anyone after them or tried to turn their friends against them. In fact, I even tried to help them when they came to my twitter DMs asking me for help. I was already incredibly scared of pissing anyone off in general, and tried to keep things peaceful on both sides. When I asked the second roleplay group if they’d be okay with them rejoining, it was a unanimous “no”... I distinctly remember offering to still roleplay with them one on one and to make a new group that they could be in (and this was even after I had been shown the screenshots of them calling me toxic, which I still wasn’t holding against them!), but the offer was turned down.

I’ve noticed this very distinct pattern over the years of me running into a lot of issues due to miscommunication as well. It was very rare that people would express with me how they were feeling, or when they did, it was usually during one of my panic attacks, which were often bad enough that my brain would repress the memories of what happened during them the second they stopped, and it was rare that I would actually go back and read the things I said. People have had a very easy time going to others and complaining or venting about me to friends, but have had a very hard time actually telling me these complaints themselves, as themselves. I don’t really blame them, as we were all pretty young and given how much I freaked out publicly, it would make sense to be scared of how I might react. Not to mention there were probably things in their own pasts that made something like confrontation difficult. However, what I don’t understand is why this would still be happening five years later... I would assume by this point people would have moved on, especially regarding spats within fandoms.

I hold no ill will towards people in my past who’ve gotten upset with me, I do not hold grudges, and for the most part, if someone wants to cut contact with me, I just accept it and move on. But now that I’m noticing that these false claims are being spread around to other people in the fandom, people who weren’t even involved in these situations, blocking me based off of... Stuff they’ve heard about me... I felt a need to say something.

Honestly, my biggest wish or hope is that, given that it has been five or so years, that people who have never spoken to me or met me before maybe give me another chance? If I have personally hurt you, I don’t want you to feel the need to reach some sort of conclusion with me, or forgive me, or whatever...

But at the very least, perhaps people could be more careful when sharing personal issues we went through with other people, people who know very little about me and who I am and only know me through the lenses and narratives of people who felt slighted by me.

I have changed immensely over the past five years, more than I can even describe. I am not the same person mentally that I was, I have had therapy, I have had help, I have reflected, I have become more sensitive to other people’s thoughts and feelings. I even managed to help a friend of mine get therapy! I was not perfect, I behaved irrationally, but I do think it’s important to drive home the fact that it has been a few years and that I’ve made a lot of progress and that as I’m nearing 30, I have mentally matured quite a bit.

Again, no one from my past has to forgive me, I am not here to dictate how people should feel about me. I am just here to try to share my own side seeing as how I am unable to join most ososan servers and communities nowadays, and thus have a harder time being able to get in contact with or reach others.

I’ve been dying to say something, but kept worrying that it would stir up negative feelings or memories for others, but it’s getting to a point now where I’ve felt so isolated and hated by the fandom for five whole years that I’ve actually started having thoughts of self-harm again for the first time in awhile. I’m not saying this to make anyone feel guilty, and I haven’t acted on the thoughts, I just need to be honest.

This sort of behavior on the internet; gossiping about others, spreading misinformation about others, using a position of influence within a fandom to keep someone from making friends in fandom spaces... Or maybe people don’t even realize how much their words can affect others? Especially if they’re well-liked and exist in a lot of spaces. I’m sure there are no actual bad intentions when people say these things or vent to their friends.

And while I explained that one specific incident in detail that was with a specific person, it is not the only issue I’ve gotten myself into over the years either. I simply spoke about that one as I am just guessing it’s the big reason a lot of this is still going on to this day. I behaved poorly enough in the past that separate groups of people have ended up mad at me, regardless of even knowing each other. I was incredibly troubled, dealing with the aftermath of an abusive relationship, overworked with my animation assignments, and incredibly clueless in social situations or trying to relate to others. Again, these aren’t excuses... But explanations. Mentally ill people are not well, that’s why it’s an illness. In 2016-2017, I was at the lowest of my low, and continued to be until around the Fall of 2019. I have also matured significantly since, and have been working with a far more effective therapist as of late 2018, which I think is why I had such a positive change by 2019, as well as finding wonderful and supportive friends who truly care about me.

I know this is getting really long, too long honestly, but I really needed to get this off my chest...

I’m trying to decide whether or not this will be one of my final posts on tumblr as a whole, as I don’t think I will be able to participate in enjoying ososan publicly with how isolated I’ve been over the years by various groups and people; I think by this point the reputation is too soured for me to be a part of the community. Again, probably not out of malice, but fear and resentment at how I’ve acted.

The fact that I’m seeing more than a few people in ososan fandom I’ve never really spoken to, or people I was mutuals with blocking me is enough I think for me to consider calling it quits for public enjoyment. The fandom is already very small, and the anti-bl side is even smaller, so everyone is pretty interconnected and rumors can spread very easily. There’s no way I can compete with that, especially if I’m barred from most servers anyways.

I’m still going to mull it over, but again, if you’ve never met me, or if you’ve only seen screenshots of me from 2016 while panicking or allcapsing or at my worst... All I can really do is hope that maybe you’ll be able to see past these things and consider giving me a chance.

As for the people I genuinely did hurt, I know I’ve said sorry many times now, even on my old blog Nutastic which I abandoned for similar reasons, but I don’t know how else or how better to prove how genuinely sorry I am... Because the proof of regret is in changing and becoming a better person, and there’s not much chance to see if I have or haven’t if I’ve been cut off.

No one has to forgive me, but perhaps at least entertain the idea I might’ve changed over the course of five years, and that telling people how I was back then instead of who I am now seems a bit unfair. Again, I suppose I dug my own grave by behaving like that in the first place, but I always try to show empathy even to people who wronged me at a low place in their lives, unless they were incredibly abusive and cruel.

At the end of the day, we’re all just people trying to enjoy a show about wacky sextuplets, and I don’t think anyone actually has any ill-will in their hearts, or has it in them to be “bad”, specifically on the anti-bl side. I don’t hold grudges, there’s no one that I currently have blocked unless they are a bl or a man that made me uncomfortable. My DMs are always open, as is my askbox.

Feel free to ask me anything or confront me about anything, though admittedly, doing so through anon makes it hard for me to reply as I don’t want to post anything potentially upsetting publicly.

And I will try to come to a decision about whether or not to pull a Jenna Marbles and leave social media for good out of regret and declining mental health. I will most likely make a post about it when I’m feeling more capable.

Thank you so much for reading, and I hope your year is going good so far despite... Well, everything

#//VERY LONG #//important

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hellzyeahwebwielingessays · 4 years

Text

Super Heroes are a HUMAN power fantasy Part 1

Master Post

Super Heroes are a HUMAN power fantasy Part 2

Osvaldo Oyola , J. Lamb and Noah Berlatsky (who hates super heroes on principle btw), along with other dumbasses, have often said they are male/white supremacist power fantasies.

Nah fam. They are nothing more and nothing less than a HUMAN power fantasy.

Follow me along here for a while.

Human beings are animals.

We are. That’s a simple matter of scientific fact.

When push comes to shove we are really, really, really smart monkeys who share something like 50+% genes in common with chimpanzees.

As animals and all forms of life the overwhelming majority of us are biologically hardwired towards one ultimate goal: survival.

The desire to survive drives us innately in ways that go unnoticed most of the time. As we evolved into smarter creatures with higher brain functions capable of comprehending the world around us and constructing complex relationships and societies, that survival instinct was reinterpreted through various means.

The survival instinct in human beings and other mammals takes several forms but most commonly can boil down to two things:

a) Survival through preservation of the individual

b) Survival through procreation

Type a) involves getting food, shelter, rest, avoiding and recovering from injury and of course defending one’s self from threats, which can take the form of other living creatures, including members of our own species.

Type b) involves spawning offspring and at the same time looking after their wellbeing.

But the survival instinct goes deeper than that because we are biologically hardwired to work towards the protection of our very species. That is the very reason why type a) and b) even exist. By preserving ourselves and our offspring our species survives.

We are also communal animals. Much like chimpanzees and gorillas we live in groups for mutual benefit and protection. Thus, as part of survival of ourselves, our offspring and our species, we have a biological investment in protecting members of our group and of our species.

But seemingly paradoxically we are also hardwired to compete with and fight one another. This likely a by-product of how in the wild we’d have to compete for resources like food and shelter. Sometimes this involves two different groups from the same species competing with one another for survival.

Why am I telling you this? Well, because deep down all those things I have just talked about are innate to 99% of all human beings. It is little wonder that as we as a species evolved we expressed these biological driving forces in certain ways no other creatures could.

This is where the concept of our deities, Gods and figures from folklore and myth come from.

Jupiter, Vishnu, Thor, Hercules, Sun Wukong, Sampson, the Biblical version of Jesus Christ.

Whether they adopt the form of human beings or other entities, virtually every single culture on Earth, even those in isolation of one another, have conceived of beings greater than themselves. Beings with abilities beyond the average human being. And they’ve also conceived of those beings from time to time using their abilities to defy the laws of nature (such as averting natural disasters), combat dangerous or malevolent forces/creatures/individuals, and/or safeguarding the lives of others.

It is a form of explaining the world around us, and an act of wish fulfilment of the human experience.

We want to survive and since we are by our nature group animals we desire to be protected. Thus we conceive beings greater than ourselves who could potentially do that.

We want to survive by preserving our individual selves, so we imagined beings that are so powerful that they are not as reliant upon rest and sustenance like normal people. And who are powerful enough that they either cannot be easily harmed and are are capable of defending themselves from potential threats.

We have within us a vested biological interest in preserving our species, and so are hardwired to protect members of our family/group; our kin. Thus as part of our human wish fulfilment fantasies we imagine beings we’d like to be who could have the power to protect members of our species.

We then come to the modern superhero.

Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Spider-Man, etc. Fundamentally they are the exact same thing.

Individuals with powers beyond those of the average human being, who use those powers to help and protect people, typically from numerous threats (which most commonly take the form of individuals with malevolent intentions). This can include perceived social ills which plague society and by extension pose a threat to the survival or quality of life of ordinary citizens.

One can exchange Hercules fighting the mythological Hydra for Superman fighting Darkseid or Captain America fighting H.Y.D.R.A. terrorists and it is ultimately the same thing. Batman battling crime in Gotham city fundamentally is no different from Theseus defeating criminals and bandits on his travels. When Spider-Man swings into action to save Mary Jane from the Green Goblin, it is an expression of much the same thing the Indian deity Rama went through to save his bride Sita.

Many super heroes though are also vigilantes, someone who imposes their own sense of morality whilst working outside of the law. Vigilantes in the real world and in myths, folklore, fiction and so on can also be found throughout history. Perhaps the most notable example being Robin Hood, who denounced his noble status to steal from the rich and give what he took to the poor who were being over taxed and oppressed by a corrupt system. Other examples would be the Scarlet Pimpernel or Zorro.

What I am trying to say is that at their core, modern day super heroes are fundamentally modern riffs of the folkloric and mythic traditions and/or similar expressions of the universal human experience (which are informed by innate biological imperatives).

Ostensibly, in creating Superman (the first true superhero), Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster were either:

a) Consciously/subconsciously influenced by these older mythic stories when they created Superman (and thus birthed the entire genre), or

b) basically tapped into the same kind of thinking which birthed Robin Hood, Hercules, Sun Wukong, etc. in the first place. Across the centuries great minds seemingly thought alike

Superman in particular was possibly heavily influenced by the figure of super strong Sampson or the Clay Golem of Prague, both of whom are part of Jewish religion and folklore (Siegel and Shuster being Jewish immigrants). He might even be seen as a kind of Moses figure. Someone sent away from his natural people to grow up elsewhere, but nevertheless destined for greatness. Or maybe he was just a messiah figure. Whether Siegel and Shuster had Jesus Christ in their minds at all or not, the Jewish religion does (I believe) talk about a saviour figure and Superman could very well be an expression of that.

Figuring into Superman’s creation was 1930s depression and the shadow of impending global war as Hitler was gathering power and invaded Poland the year after Superman was created. In his debut Superman is not only superhumanly powerful but uses these powers as a vigilante to do things like:

· stop wife beaters

· rescue someone framed for murder, whilst apprehending the real murderer

· capture gangsters and rescue a kidnapped person (Lois Lane)

· bring a corrupt politician to justice

This was an expression of 1930s fears and frustrations. Of Siegel and Shuster’s desires to right the wrongs of a system which was perceived to be broken…or at least envision someone who could do that seemingly impossible task.

The next year in 1939, Batman would come along and express many of these sentiments even more acutely, in particular when it came to crime.

As time went by and the superhero genre was consolidated and evolved, many heroes had their histories altered in order to make them more coherent. In Batman’s specific case his home of Gotham city was painted as so utterly corrupt from the lowest criminal to the most powerful political figures that Batman was literally the one and only effective deterrent to crime. Hope of legal or political reform was next to impossible, thus Batman’s brand of vigilantism was the only thing which could stand in the way of criminals from just doing whatever they wanted.

Bearing all this in mind the idea that the superhero genre is an inherent white construction (and therefore inherently racist, deliberately or otherwise) is, you know…fucking bullshit.

There is a difference between something defined by someone of one race or another and it being something which in indicative to them ONLY. There is also a difference between something having ‘white supremacist undertones’ and something simply being created at a certain point in time when cultural norms were (sadly) different to what they became later on.

As originally created Superman (and by extension the genre) was functionally the same kind of wish fulfilment expressesed by countless storytellers from countless cultures across human history, all informed by universal biological impulses to survive.

Yes, the superhero genre was created and constructed by white people and is therefore literally a ‘white construction’. Yes there weren’t many (if any) non-white characters outside of horrible racial stereotypes. Yes many of them took the law into their own hands.

But that doesn’t mean they are in support of white supremacist notions ala the Ku Klux Klan.

In fact given that Siegel and Shuster were of Jewish immigrant descent, one could argue that Superman was a reflection of how minorities need to be BETTER than the majority to be accepted and/or he was arguably an expression of their frustrations at being mistreated themselves an minorities.

On the other hand let’s say that ‘white supremacy’ strictly meant that superheroes operated with the belief in white people being the default, and as the majority, they were better than the non-whites. Superman was created at a time of segregation after all.

The problem is there is no evidence I know in support of Superman, by his mere existence, is consciously implying that white people are better than non-white people. I wouldn’t put it past Siegel and Shuster to believe that given the times they were from, but ALL media was like that. To an extent they honestly didn’t know any better. But just because they believed that and the social context of the time informed people of this, that doesn’t mean that those ideas are inherent to the superhero genre.

Because again, the superhero genre ultimately embodies beliefs and practices which date back throughout human history and can be found in many non-white cultures.

Yes. Their brand of heroism and the beliefs about heroism they embody were gifted to them by their white creators. And those creators were informed by white social norms (as in the white society they grew up in informed Siegel and Shuster that wife beating was bad). But that doesn’t mean that the superhero moral compass is inherently something that is itself white by design. Rather, it goes beyond that to form a mostly universal form of morality. And lest we forget American society and its laws were mostly informed by Jewish and Christian religious beliefs and practices, which themselves were not only innovated centuries before American society, but by people who were NOT white.

Yes, these superheroes are vigilantes, many of which wear masks and employ secret identities. But not only is that a matter of practicality within their work, as well as part of generating drama within the narrative, but this does not (as the above mentioned dumbasses believe) mean they are inheriting a legacy from the Ku Klux Klan.

Theseus and Robin Hood acted as vigilantes of a sort who again predate the KKK. The Scarlet Pimpernel is widely regarded as the originator of the secret identity trope, and he was created by a Hungarian born British woman!

Just because a superhero might act as a vigilante and impose their sense of morality outside of the law (maybe even using force to do it) doesn’t equate them with the KKK, because it completely and utterly ignores the specifics of the circumstances. It is like saying anyone who kills is a serial killer, when they might have killed for justifiable reasons. Superman and Batman might be operating as vigilantes with secret identities but we the readers can plainly see that they are genuinely justified in what they are doing.

But that’s because the writer has established that!

I hear you cry.

Yes that is true...so what though?

If the writer has set up circumstances which justify the superheroes actions then you can’t just IGNORE those. You can’t just choose the evidence you take under consideration to fit the conclusion you want. In this case that’d be the interpretation of superheroes are endorsements of white supremacist notions ala the KKK or police officers who abuse their powers.

That’s like desiring to interpret Star Wars as the story of white supremacy because the ‘black’ clad figures of the Empire are ultimately overthrown by the white Rebel Alliance and the ‘light side' of the force. It ignores the respective actions of the Empire and Alliance in-story.

It’s is presuming the Empire to represent black people and the Alliance white people in the first place and then working backwards from there. Equally it is presuming superheroes to be stand-ins for ACTUAL police officers or KKK style vigilantes in the first place.

And that cop analogy inherently doesn’t work because superheroes are only SIMILAR to cops. The analogy ultimately breaks down because they aren’t subject to ANY legal sanctions, many of them do not kill and their crime fighting efforts stereotypically takes the form of them intervening ONLY if they hear about a crime/crisis ahead of time or if they observe it in progress.

I mean one of the above morons conflated Spider-Man’s Spider-Sense to be a stand in for racial profiling which is an utterly inappropriate analogy. The Spider-Sense was originally constructed as a clumsy plot device that first and foremost operated as a personalised danger sense to Spider-Man of threats. Outside of contrived writing it categorically doesn’t alert him to ANY potential crime or criminal. And it doesn’t discriminate the way racial profiling does. It more often than not allows him to pinpoint precisely who might be a potential threat because they ARE a potential threat.

Spider-Man or Superman or Batman in the course of their work have these skills and it enables them to be ABOVE things like racial profiling. Again, taking their stalking of a potential criminal to be a tacit approval of police methods is an interpretation being overlaid ONTO the superhero and then presumed to be factually what it is.

But it’s not.

It’s just an (mis)interpretation of what is going on informed by one person’s personal experiences and baggage through life. It is the same kind of logic which will take say a female character who has a male love interest as 100% definitely an enforcement of the idea that women ‘need a man’ to validate them when that isn’t necessarily the case of the story at all.

Building upon this is the oft-repeated interpretation that superheroes are fascists and are supportive of fascist values. That is an incredibly simplistic and literal reading of the superhero genre that ignores aspects plain as day on the page of the stories. It again is CHOOSES to see something in the concept which frankly misses the point but is nevertheless accepted as plain fact regardless.

An article in the Atlantic addresses this very eloquently:

This [fascist] reading of superheroes is common but wrong, a symptom of trying to impose political ideology on a universal, fictional myth. Superheroes do say something about the real world, but it’s something pretty uncontroversial: We want to see good triumph over evil, and “good” in this case means more than just defeating the bad guy—it means handling power responsibly.

The “fascism” metaphor breaks down pretty quickly when you think about it. Most superheroes defeat an evil power but do not retain any power for themselves. They ensure others’ freedom. They rarely deal with the government, and when they do it is with wariness, as in the Iron Man films, where Tony Stark refuses to hand over control of his inventions.

Indeed, superhero tales are full of subplots about how heroes limit their own power: hibernating once the big bad guy has been defeated, wearing disguises to live ordinary lives, choosing not to give into the temptation to ally with the villain or use their powers for profit or even civilizational progress. That’s because the creators of some of the most foundational superhero tales weren’t writing solely out of a power fantasy. They were writing out of a fantasy that a truly good people who find themselves with power might use that power only for good—and only in the face of extreme evil.

YES superheroes are a power fantasy.

But there is NOTHING wrong with power fantasies so long as one understands the distinction between the fiction and reality.

More than this...the hard truth is violence is part of being human. We are biologically hard wired to be violent and dominate others. That is innate to us like many, many, many animals. The flipside to that though is what also makes us human is the ability (and perhaps more importantly the DESIRE) to NOT be like that.

Most superhero fiction simultaneously offers us the opportunity to enforce those values whilst at the same time providing us with a safe outlet for our violent urges. We transfer those urges into the heroes and villains fighting one another. Kinda like how in Ancient Rome gladiator fights and other spectacles were used as a way of avoiding the populace of Rome from erupting into violence.

And don’t sit there and tell me that they ENCOURAGE violence.

If someone is going to be violent like that frankly there are almost ALWAYS further underlying factors often to do with their home life And

Human beings have been killing each other and acting in immoral ways LONG before the invention of popular media. Preventing ourselves from being like that is an act of learned control as we grow up. It is otherwise innate to our instincts.

Furthermore the concept of superheroes as being police officers who enforce the status quo and therefore help keep white people in power is incredibly flawed.

First of all Doc Ock nuking New York city hurts everyone regardless of race. Second of all Batman stopping a mugger in the middle of assaulting someone isn’t upholding white power, it’s just safeguarding life. Reading it as more than that is a projection these asshats are injecting INTO the stories themselves when they aren’t warranted.

Finally, the law might be stacked in favour of white power and minority suppression. But that not only has a lot to do with ABUSE of the law, but at the same time large chunks of the law are there legitimately for the well being of EVERYONE. It is illegal to murder someone, to mug them, to exploit them. None of that ensures white power, it ensures the well being of everyone. The problem is that those laws are often warped when being applied to minorities by the police force.

But superheroes don’t represent the police force. They represent something grander than the police force whilst at the same time representing what the police force SHOULD be like. The message isn’t ‘this is what the police are like’ or even ‘the police are heroes so anything they do is therefore a good thing’. It is providing a strong moral ideal and saying ‘You and everyone else should try to be like this’.

It is because of this that the superhero concept REVEALS the warts and shortcomings of the law and law enforcement as it really exists. Which was a part of 1930s frustrations Superman et al were giving vent to. Again, Action Comics #1 showed us corrupt politicians, commentating upon a flawed system.

Basically Superman being who he is doesn’t tell people that a police officer is justified when he racially profiles a black person as a criminal. Quite the opposite, he reveals us that they were WRONG in doing that because Superman would NEVER do that.

Ultimately, yeah these characters were created within a white context, but my point is fundamentally the same thing was created in non-white contexts as well throughout history.

Super Heroes are a HUMAN power fantasy Part 2

Master Post

#Marvel #DC #DC Comics #Marvel Comics #Super heroes #Superheroes #Superman #Batman #Wonder Woman #X-Men #Spider-Man #mythology #folklore #Robin Hood #Noah Berlatsky #Osvaldo Oyola

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ultraferal · 5 years

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about that 32+ year old t-stray who is highly associated with ciel star/evan

i wouldn’t be talking about t-stray if he wasn’t already highly associated with ciel star, had known him for 4+ years, saw the ins and outs of his “kin” bullshit grooming tactics, and knew that evan was talking to underage kids in those groups as well... and was literally there when I spoke to evan for the first time to agree or not to agree to doctrinaire me into that group while I was underaged. he says he didn’t know what went on during that period of time, but that is literally bullshit for the fact of how many people he did that same tactic with many other indivuals who knew evan, and became of a victim of his. basically he knew much more than he lets on about evan, and saw A EXTREME amount of the grooming that went on throughout the events.

he made some fanfic with some whole ass pedophile chromehoplite, just a regular pedophile in the seba/ciel fandom.. nothing shocking, but like i said i’m talking about this because it’s related to evan. t-stray talked about making a comic about a “aged” up ciel, who in canon is a young child, to justify his rights to sexualize a child because he aged him up for the specific reason of sexualizing him and of course- t-stray said that is not the case.. and it’s for just the purpose of writing ciel in more “mature” situations.

here is something t-stray said about the “fic”:

- Rust & Stardust is not a “pedo fic”, the main characters are adults, it’s an alternate universe where all characters are (sound and look as) adults. There’s no child sexualization and not an implicit attempt (at some antis seem to think) to imagine Ciel as a child, in a sexual situation, while writing it, literally, that defiles the purpose of what an underage character may have a “charm for a pedo” the fact they are depicted as adults. I refuse to accept now that authors are not allowed to age up characters because they are thinking of them as a child, is bold to believe being a mind reader and quite an inquisition-mindset to asume all who do are trying to automatically normalize pedophilia by creating content.

“depicted” as adults.. is bullshit. want to know why i believe that? is because a minor can be thought of as a adult because of how they look physically. it happens often, we see someone who looks older, we think their an adult.. but it happens to be they are underage. that happens all the time, that’s reality. not every minor looks like how t-stray defines “looking like a child”... beside that, here is something he drew of “aged” up ciel:

the op post is linked here but it has nsfw in it, i blocked out some of it, but the tags are very important. ciel is a child, you are just “aging” which just basically means fitting a child into a “grown man” body so you can treat it as though its not inherientally pedophillia.. bc he’s a “man” now. anyways, here is something he said about critism (people telling him hes a pedophile for it)

here is another thing t-stray said in this following post he made:

- It seems is being assumed I’m a shipper since I have shipper friends, part of being an adult is knowing you can be friends with someone without agreeing on their tastes. Enough said, I want to create content without involving any “ship fawn” or romantic content, I want to explore other types of narrative. Stop putting me in the same bag only because I collab with other creators that do like the ship.´This kind of bigotry is insane, I’ve been called pedophile only for saying I don’t hate shippers. Content creators are bieng pushed away from the fandom because none wants to recieve death threats and accusations of real child abuse over a drawing they made or a fic they wrote. The human spectrum is huge and has a lot more complications than “being on my side or not”

the person, chromehoplite, he is co-writing this fanfic of a “aged up” ciel has written countless pedophilic writings about ciel, “aged up” or not. t-stray drew those drawings above for chromehoplite to go with this writing which is nsfw. regular sebaciel pedophiles... just the whole thing, but what t-stray said is being “assumed as a shipper bc i have shipper friends”... you don’t just collab with these creators, you draw them pedophilic art to fit that narrative. being friends with pedophiles, and knowing full well they are a pedophile- makes you also a full whole ass pedophile.. because you see nothing wrong with it.. and continue to make material for them. evan had the same rhetoric he shared publically, fiction vs reality, and thinking that as long as the child is aged up to a adult.. you can fictionally sexualize it. it’s clear how that worked out for him.

unforunately the reality of the black butler fandom, is it is 90% filled with adults who cosume and create pedophilic content. i’m sure if you have been in the fandom long enough (or just seen the tag for 1 minute) you can for sure see that is the case..... we of course can’t take down every single pedophile in the fandom sense there are way to many of them to count, and evan/ciel star is one of them as we all know now. what i want to say is that i believe full well that t-stray is just as complict to the crimes that happened under his watch while being close with ciel star/ evan, because he allowed evan to constantly bring in more and more new underage minors into the kin groups. he was the reason i was APPROVED to be brought into evan’s group, and including many other people.

EDIT: ALSO! quick note, t-stray kinned sebastian at the time of knowing each other, and is infact why they were so close in the first place which gives more to the “sebaciel fantasy”. evan and t-stray did have sexual history. there is sufficent proof to prove this from many people who were around both of them when they were together. this among many other things, is something important to keep in mind. thank you

EDIT EDIT:

if you have anymore information regarding t-stray, please feel free to talk to me.

#ciel star #csa mention

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groundramon · 4 years

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So curiouscat has stupid short reply lengths so i had to post this here

Tw for: bullying, fatphobia, discussion of sexual harassment (oh it feels good to have enough characters to write a proper tw)

So it might surprise ppl to know that my favorite frontier character is JP, the raging heterosexual. But like, to me...hes so much more than that. JP is a character that I saw so much of myself in. His social isolation from his peers, leading him to push away others to avoid getting hurt...its not that people outwardly bully him, its that no one sees behind his surface and nobody bothers to truly care about him. People only recognize him as the class clown - no one actually wants to hang out with him. And that...that hit me HARD as a kid. It was the experience i had growing up. I wasn't outright bullied, I just felt...excluded. Judged. I wanted friends but was too afraid of being judged or excluded. And sometimes it caused me to be dismissive of genuinely good people. And quite frankly, that's STILL a problem I have, not even a year after an exfriend of 7 years said that our interests were one of the things driving us apart. My intense fear of being ridiculed for my interests drove me as a kid, and sometimes even now as an adult, to completely stop caring what my peers thought about anything. For all intents and purposes, im a bit of a hipster - i hate on what's popular and i tote my more obscure interests. Because I feel like that's the only way. Obviously i have fairly mainstream interests but lemme tell ya, i went to a christian school in the late 2000s/early 2010s - goddamn pokemon was obscure/counter-culture in a setting like that. But despite my desperate attempts not to care, I DO care, just like JP. It fuckin stung. And now i have depression and social anxiety whoops. Honestly ngl, it got so bad that I genuinely projected that it was implied JP was isolated for being fat/not conventionally attracted, until i was like "wait a minute...frontier didnt go that hard"

But what makes JP such a tragic character to me now is that at the end of Frontier nowadays when i watch it, im left asking myself....DID JP make any friends?

I know JP is a raging heterosexual but quite frankly, he is dealt such a shitty, judgemental hand for an innocent crush. JP's most nsfw fantasy is marrying Zoe and holding her hand, like... And yet, despite this, he's accused time and time again of being a perv. JP is, well, a big fuckin guy. As such, he thinks "its probably a good idea to let all my friends climb up this latter before me, so i dont crush them all if i fall - plus ill look chivalrous too!" But he unfortunately forgets that Zoe has a skirt on and, y'know, not pants. I understand Zoe's hesitation completely - i wouldnt trust a man who kept hitting on me either. Her relationship with JP is completely justified. Like, its not like JP doesn't take no for an answer - he just still has a crush on her. Yes he should probably give it a rest but like, he's 13 and his most nsfw fantasy is to hold hands and marry and respect his crush. Inb4 you say "but its a kids show of course it is-" literally everything about Zoe is sexualized so no the fuck its not lol

What gets me the most though is the beach episode... again, not because of Zoe. She thinks someone has peeped on her (understandable but it was a digimon) and confronts them about it. But koji and takuya IMMEDIATELY suspect JP, and only believe his immediate denial when Tommy points out that JP was with them the whole time. Like first of all, YOU FORGOT HE WAS THERE??? it took the baby of the group pointing that out for you to remember???? Second of all, JP has never done anything to warrant not being believed - again for zoe id understand, a bitch has gotta be weary, but not for the guys? And thirdly, and perhaps most importantly of all, YOU GUYS CONSIDER SOMEONE YOU'D EASILY SUSPECT OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT YOUR "FRIEND"???? i would NEVER be friends with someone who i could see sexually harassing another one of my friends!! What the shit!! I realize they're kids but GEEZ. And i know its implied JP only cares about the perpetrator because he likes Zoe but idc, despite being persistent in his crush JP has literally NEVER done ANYTHING to disrespect women. And if the scene where takuya and jp run into Zoe's changing room to see whats wrong after she screams counts - well lol takuya was there too.

Zoe was dealt a terrible hand by the writers (worse than JP imo) so I understand people being weary of JP, but - in the dub at least - he literally did nothing wrong... dont confuse the writers sexualizing zoe and being misogynistic with JP sexualizing zoe and being misogynistic.

And im gonna say it - JP is only treated this way cuz hes fat lol. Its not a coincidence that the only MC in the digimon anime who's treated like a perv (despite the fact that they failed in writing one, cuz hes not a perv) is the fat guy. Japan LOVES the fat otaku stereotype (America, look what you did, you made it fatphobic) and in JP's case he's treated completely differently because he's fat. Takuya doesn't have an explicit crush on Zoe but just look at how he treats her vs JP. And which one is demonized lmao? Like, frontier has major problems in general, but to me this isnt a coincidence.

Also, I think JP's crush on zoe is initially just flirting/wanting to impress a girl to fill the void in his heart, but then he genuinely comes to respect her and like her for who she is. He likes that she's kind but stands up for herself and even though he's hopelessly infatuated with her, he just wants her to be happy, even if its not with him. He relates to her struggles to fit in despite not understanding how someone so beautiful and charismatic (in his eyes) could be disliked by her peers.

Hackers Memory discussion coming up, but the spoilers are minor/vague. Frank discussion of sexual harassment and...pedophilia i guess? But its like...ephebophilia, not literal children.

I realize the Story games and the anime are two different beasts entirely, and Cyber Sleuth especially is targeted at an older audience. BUT... compare how JP is treated in Frontier to how Chitose and even Keisuke are treated in HM. Chitose goes after countless women and isn't even reprimanded for going after someone he considers a CHILD. To clarify - Ryuji and Chitose both call Arata a child. Arata is canonically older than Yuuko. Chitose flirts with Yuuko. It is gross. Like he gets the physical embodiment of the cold shoulder and you get to insult him for it, but that's not proper reprimanding. In comparison, yes JP is older than Zoe...by a year/grade. But JP gets accused of SEXUAL HARASSMENT BY HIS "FRIENDS" and Chitose just gets "haha good ol chitose, hes a wild one." Plus i think Chitose and JP get the shit smacked out of each other an equal amount of times in the story, which like...one of these people is worse than the other!

Then there's Keisuke, the protagonist of HM, who's significantly better than Chitose but still gets dirty thoughts about Yuuko and is only reprimanded by Erika. And honestly I love Erika but HM plays up the tsundere heterosexual couple aspect. So imagine the only person who calls you out on your shit is your fucking love interest, who also beat the shit out of you with a plush toy for entering her room without knocking, not knowing anyone was in there (id say hes not a playboy but considering he befriends a stranger to practice "getting chicks" at chitose's recommendation, hes totally a playboy) and yet all she does when you start thinking weird shit about Yuuko is be like "hey. Stop that. Get some help"

Also Erika's best friend is chitose so like, someone save this poor girl PLEASE

But my point is that Chitose is conventionally attractive and...well they play up the idea that Keisuke isn't but hes not conventionally unattractive like JP is.

Gee, i wonder why they're treated differently? /s

TLDR: JP drinks respecting women juice and i kin him

#Stormy speaks

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ryumako · 5 years

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so I’ve mentioned it before but I started watching bnha soon after 7/15, because it was my birthday and I had gotten on tumblr and saw that it was also Deku’s birthday.

Sharing a birthday wasn’t the actual reason I started watching it, it was more so the fact that I was a) already trying to choose another (specifically shounen) anime to watch and b) had seen so so much bnha on tumblr, especially on that day, and I figured I might as well get in on it (I didn’t even know season 4 was coming out soon and in hindsight I’m so glad I caught up because tumblr goes fucking buck wild for bnha as any season of it comes out and it doesn’t matter who you follow, no one is safe)

but yeah, I’ve currently got about 60 anime on my plan-to-watch list and bnha wasn’t even Fucking One Of Them (but that’s just how it goes, isn’t it)

I was very indifferent about it at first, but even then I was still thinking about it when I wasn’t watching it. I had a lot of questions (that eventually got answered). There were things that rubbed me the wrong way (subtle and not-so-subtle fetishy stuff, how the female characters are treated/written, Mineta existing at all, etc. But like. I find a lot of shounen anime to be this way. Doesn’t excuse them, but I make my Disgusted™ face and soldier on). But there were also a lot of things I liked. It’s funny, the animation and art style (especially the manga’s) is really cool, and I fell for most of the characters immediately.

For a while, it was just something for me to watch on the train. And I don’t know when it happened, but eventually I liked it so much that I could no longer watch it on the train because I would be visibly reacting to scenes. Didn’t matter much anyway, I caught up in about 9 days (would have been shorter, but I had a full time job at the time).

Anyway, I got distracted from the series because a couple weeks later I was dumped and then fired (yikes) and had to move from Denver to Kansas. Still, I was looking at fan art during the whole 7 hour drive.

I wanted to read the manga, but I’ve never read a manga this long. I wanted to make sure I had the Time and the Energy. I ended up starting it on August 29th and caught up with it 3 days ago on the 7th. I have yet to read Vigilantes or Smash!! but I’m getting to it

I started the manga for 2 reasons

a) Season 4 in just a month!! I wanted to know what I’m in for

b) I needed to figure out the hype around certain characters. I am hyper aware of the fact that tumblr latches on to characters so hard to the point where it doesn’t even make sense and they end up mischaracterizing them. I wanted to accurately Form my Opinions.

I’m the type to usually have the main character or someone close to the main character as my favorite (um if that wasn’t already blatantly fucking obvious lmao) and it’s because they almost always have the most character development/detailed backstory! That isn’t to say that I can’t infer things about the more minor characters, it’s just that usually they’re much less interesting/developed anyway. Bnha is overwhelming because there are several lovable characters.

But yeah, after watching the anime and having not yet read the manga, I was having a lot of trouble understanding the hype around: Mirio (based on what you see in the anime, he didn’t really have a personality yet, just POWERRRR and a cool-ass quirk, but don’t get me wrong, I love him now! He’s super admirable and really interesting. I also love his interactions/relationship with Deku!)

Kirishima (he seemed like a generic supporting character to me. He was really funny the whole anime, but I failed to see why he was so popular. After reading his backstory and watching him overcome his shortcomings, watching him frame himself in such a realistic way, etc, I loved him! His character design is really, really cool, and he’s a super lovable guy. You want to be his friend. Definitely the kind of character I can’t imagine anyone hating.)

Todoroki (out of the characters I list here, I understood this hype the most, because a decent amount of his backstory/character is already revealed in the anime. But people fucking LOVE Todoroki. I saw him more than any other character on my dashboard, even before I consumed the series and followed bnha blogs. I was like yeah, he’s cool and interesting, but is he that cool and interesting? The answer is yes! Todoroki is a very mature, clever, multi-faceted in depth character and he’s also fucking hilarious. Also, his quirk? Hell yes!)

and then Bakugo.

I still don’t understand the Bakugo hype. I like his character design (his Japanese VA is perfect, like what a fucking voice, he probably can’t even speak after recording), I like that his existence motivates Deku, and some of the things he says make me laugh out loud

But like, I cannot humanize him, and I cannot understand the hype. I was really really hoping the manga would help me Understand the Hype but it didn’t really?

Listen,

Horikoshi basically said ‘I was going to make Bakugo an actual character with human emotions besides anger, I was going to give him empathy, I was going to make him not wholly self-absorbed, I was going to give him a personality besides that of a wet house cat,

but look at him! Look into his eyes! There is nothing there. Only anger.’

Or rather, he literally calls him “explosively rotten and detestable”.

BUT RACHE, what about when he brought Deku aside to talk about his quirk? What about that one time he showed a single scrap of softness?

Okay I’ll give you one thing - he did finally show an emotion that wasn’t just anger (even though he was still angry the whole time). We learned that Bakugo can feel Regret. But also…was that whole thing not only just about him?

It was ’I feel guilty about being the catalyst that ended All Might’s career’

’I need to fight Deku to prove myself, despite his initial protests’

’I need to break the school’s rules and get both of us in trouble because I can’t handle my own feelings’

He was only thinking about himself the whole time, so I don’t really put much stock in that argument. I was surprised that he agreed to keep the existence of One for All a secret, and I still believe it was totally out of character for him to do so, but the alternative would cause the unraveling of the entire story, so.

Upon reading the manga, I found one (1), one scrap of hope. And if you’ve read the manga, you probably know what I’m talking about, because it was kind of a big deal to people.

He said that. I actually gasped when I read it. I really couldn’t believe it (oh the bar is so low though)

THIS was a really good example that Bakugo has feelings somewhere. And believable, too! It didn’t come off as out of character for a couple reasons -

a) He is saying it to a child he will likely never see again. He would never say this within earshot of a classmate (Todoroki, Yoarashi, and Camie were all adequately distracted) and if god forbid Deku were to ever hear that from him, he would backpedal so fast he’d get whiplash. But yeah, of course he’d never say anything like that around anyone that matters.

b) The setting. He’s actively in the remedial classes, where he can only be hyper-aware of his failures and shortcomings, whether he likes it or not. This line/scene occurs rather far into the manga. He hasn’t gotten anywhere and he fucking knows it. Every time he makes a move or has a chance, it backfires. He’s starting to realize his self-absorption alone is holding him back and this line is a hint that maybe, maybe he’ll change

but will Horikoshi write that? I have trouble picturing him doing that, and if Bakugo does change, it is going to take a really

really

long time. I know a lot of fans have the patience to see it happen, I suppose I do now as well, but I suspect casual fans won’t.

In a way, I am a little obsessed with Bakugo just because you all are. I’m always trying to understand the psychology. I’m not trying to insult anyone who does have the impulse to humanize him (some of you though…SOME of you DEFINITELY go too far) because again, his character design is cool, his quirk is cool, and he can be funny at times (albeit not at all clever).

I will definitely be here for the seemingly unattainable dream chapter in which he apologizes to Deku. I can’t even imagine it…

I’m a little annoyed at myself now, because Deku is my favorite character but I simply don’t have much to say. I just wrote a goddamn Bakugo Essay but I don’t have much to say about Deku. He’s one of the most motivational and relatable characters I’ve ever come across. Call him a generic shounen protag all you want, but I love him. If it were 2012 and kin was still a thing (and I had That Type of Brain) I’d be hard pressed to find a better kin candidate (born on Jul 15? infp? Bullied mercilessly yet resilient? Sweet as fuck? Same god damn hat Deku). He’s adorable, funny, nerdy, and ferocious. That boy goes absolutely feral on his opponents/enemies and you love to see it.

But anyway, yeah! Bnha fucking rocks and I don’t give a fuuuck if it’s associated with cringe culture. “Cringe culture” is cringe culture. I was telling my brother about how the plot is dummy simple, so I can see how people think it’s overrated. However, it’s hard not to love the characters, and the creativity of their designs and quirks! Horikoshi had my head spinning with the infinite amount of unique characters he seems to pull out of his ass and make likable (or at least respectable) (um save for Mineta, fuck that guy, what a ginormous mistake. There’s this song I like called “Don’t Give Me Grapes” and while the lyrics aren’t applicable at all, I get that song stuck in my head whenever I see that idiot because my brain says “Don’t give me grapes.” Don’t give me grapes).

The writing is also fucking captivating, like obviously everyone knows the hero will come out the victor every single time, but with bnha’s arcs, you definitely find yourself asking “but how?? How the fuck will they get out of this one??” You’re left biting your nails thinking “dude, man, Horikoshi, there’s no way you didn’t just write yourself into a corner right now” but then there’s the TWISTS and ugh I love them. I love them. I Lov

#rache rambles #rache REALLY fucking rambles #this is just my journey with bnha #I am chock full of opinions #bnha made me a fandom nerd again #I have a lot of emotions and a lot of lukewarm takes #I Am Hype #absolutely not spoiler free #this has a read more line but mobile users are fucked I'm SORRY

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