#immediately reverts back to a caveman

[mintytrifecta]

can i hear your pitch for a garfield series? 👀👀

OKAY SO

In Garfield's Judgement Day it's revealed that there is sort of a pet counsel of sorts, one that resolves the issues surrounding pet-kind and emergency situations involving their owners. They also seem to be against strays, what with the hurricane coming and Arlene being forced to hide in an alleyway during it. (also if you didn't know Arlene is a stray cndnns surprise)

And since nine lives are canonically reincarnation in the Garfield universe, the council to me works by descending order of who's lived the most lives and by how many centuries it spans.

Garfield is on his eighth life (canon) and his lives go back to the caveman era (also canon) so he's second in command next to the oldest one in the community, who's a black cat on his ninth. Garfield doesn't really want to be in command and is honestly really shitty at his job, usually on purpose.

Of course, Garfield could also easily take up leadership completely, given how he's escaped death twice now and managed to start a new nine-lives cycle, either by time travel or Literally Lying To God (this one's a bit more complicated cause both of those are canon but I just linked the two timelines together. Garfield's technically on his third cycle and his eight one there and without doubles he's about 21 lives in. I have a flowchart graph for this)

Recently, there's been a huge rise in strays going completely feral and attacking pets. It's weird enough as it is, but the fact that most of them have no memory of it happening is even weirder.

Garfield's put on the job to figure out what's happening and put a stop to it and he will complain every step of the way even if he's one of the only people qualified to do so given that he was a private eye in a previous life (again canon) but he doesn't wanna do it alone so he enlists the help of both Arlene and Odie. He's not technically allowed to bring Odie on the job since Odie isn't a cat but he lied to God about it and called him a cat once so he gets a pass.

Garfield's family also helps him!! They live in an abandoned restaurant and are all technically strays and if it weren't for Jon Garfield would not even be allowed in there and he's aware of how rocky his social standing is, and he knows how the feral acts would immediately be percieved as intentional, but Garfield also knows better than to believe the elitist pet's prejudices but I digreds

His mom, helpful as ever, reminds him of an old queen's tale called Primal Self.

The story says that the world's diety loved cats so much it gave them nine lives to keep living and staying on the mortal plane, but the other animals all got so jealous of them that they begged the god to curse cats with a malevolent spirit that haunts them and reverts them back to nothing but pure feral instinct and bloodlust. It haunts cats when they're at their weakest and possesses them, forcing them to attack others and remind the god and the world that cats are animals, just as the rest of them are.

It's not really the most logical lead, but at the moment that's all Garfield has to go on. (plus, it sounds really familiar to him, but he can't place from where..)

So they all go round up the ones they know started attacking and try to ask if any of them have heard of or know about primal self, but barely any of them seem to be responding. The only one that manages to say anything only muttered something about "green eyes with fur as black as the starless night"

So they're back to square one.

Until pets start going feral as well. And now nobody is safe.

The weather outside gets worse and worse and less cats start responding.

Eventually, Garfield and Co. go back to the council in the old abandoned theater and explain to the head cat the situation, only to find out something big.

Primal Self isn't a curse, but in fact an ancient cat spirit. One who's lived and skipped countless deaths and possesses other cats to steal away the lives they have left to add on to his life cycles. And he's currently residing in the head cat. Primal Self has gotten anxious that the cat diety is spotting him and what he's done that he's been jumping from different cats in the same era to avoid a confrontation.

Primal Self takes one lunge at Garfield at the first sign of him trying to run away, and steals this life from him.

But Garfield isn't dead, he's back in his first life as the pet cat to a caveman. And now he has to speed through all of his lives again and reach the one he had to put a stop to Primal Self.

Cause like it or not, he's got to play hero now.

Ugh.

(meanwhile back in the present, Arlene and Odie explain the situation to all the pets and strays still left and maybe even Jon and Liz and get them to help out and put a stop to Primal)

[youngdreamer3214]

Alright I know I already asked but could you also do prompt 20 with Jason Todd and Raven or Speedy and Raven

Thank you for requesting. I hope you enjoy reading this. Please read and review.

Assume Standard Disclaimer #20. “Who hurt you?" Jason todd + Raven Pairing

Prompt list

The dark clouds struggled to withstand the weight of the water, almost wanting to let go but not being able to just yet. The air was thick with the sweet scent of the coming storm and nothing had a shadow. Winds were blowing rapidly almost as if they were in a race with each other, seemingly careless and play full not caring if anything comes in their way.

The former thief had just returned to the city after completing a mission on the other side of the world. It was tiring to say the least but he was glad that he was finally back. He was on his way to titan tower, silently observing the weather deep in his thoughts, which were mostly about her.

He had missed her; it had been four months since he had seen her, since he had held her in his arms and he couldn’t wait to have her in his arms which was why he was making his way to her immediately entering the city, instead of going to his condo.

God, he sounded like such a sap right now and he was glad that nobody could hear his thoughts; if his brother’s heard his thoughts then he would never hear the end of it.

But for some reason he didn’t mind, he wanted to shout from every rooftop in this city that he had feelings for her, that she was his. He shook his head at how caveman-ish was his last train of thought but couldn’t stop a smile from coming on his face with it also.

So, he was territorial over her, but can you blame him? For a kid who grew up in the slums of Gotham city, who had to fight for every shred of happiness and peace while experiencing the worst humanity had to offer, he couldn’t be blamed for keeping someone who made him feel peace and joy like nothing he had ever experienced, all to himself.

He is selfish like that.

Jason rubbed his covered neck, still in his Red X suit all lost in fantasies of her, he couldn’t wait to have her in his arms, where he wouldn’t let her go, her teammates can deal with it.

Everything went downhill since the day his elder brother and the leader of the titans discovered that it was him under the skulled mask; to say it was chaotic would be putting it mildly.

It took a couple of years for the shock of him coming back to life, anger at him and his little bird for keeping it hidden and the anger and resentment he held against the bat family to die down; it took time and many confrontation to come to the point where he attended family dinners and was willing to work alongside them when required.

He still wouldn’t call himself a hero but he also wasn’t a villain, an anti- hero of sorts.

He also knew that none of this would possible without his little bird, he probably would be drowning in his sorrows while covering it with anger if she had not found him or pushed him towards his family.

She was his light.

He chuckled at the irony of his last thought; a creature of darkness, a demon was his light. But damn him to hell and back, if that wasn’t true.

She was there for him when he thought that he was sad, hurt and angry because of the world and at the world. She showed patience with him, something that many people failed to do. But most importantly she loved him, even if they hadn’t said it out loud yet but he could see it in her eyes and feel it in his own heart.

He arrived at the island which housed the tower and grinned mischievously; instead of using the door he started climbing the wall knowing full well how it irritated his older brother, making a point to give a two- finger salute to the surveillance camera in front of him and climbing up.

He finally reached his destination, feeling like he had reverted to his old ways as he opened the window, grinning knowing that she always left it open for him and made his way inside to his prize.

His heart started beating erratically as he saw her petite form swallowed by her comforter on her side but in the dark he couldn’t see her properly but he didn’t pay much mind to it, he was just happy to be surrounded by her calming presence, it had been too long and without thinking twice, he started shredding his suit, leaving him only in his black boxers.

He kept his suit on the corner and made his way to her bed, as silent as possible and got inside the covers, laying behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist awaiting the first night of peaceful sleep he would get in months when he heard her groan in pain.

He pushed himself away as if he had been burned, seeing her stir awake. He switched on the night light and his heart slowed down, his usual aquamarine eyes turned lazarus pit green as rage and worry flowed through him seeing her condition.

She was lying on her back and lightly rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she saw her boyfriend assess her. She looked at gorgeous as he remembered with her violent- black long hair, pale skin and that red gem on her forehead hidden by her flick and in her sports bra and sleeping shorts but the only problem Jason had with the sight presented in front of him were the white bandages covering her waist, some of her right thigh, her ankles and the most worrisome was the bandage on her forehead.

She looked at his angry face staring at her wounds but before she could say anything he asked in a gruff voice barely controlling his anger and voice “What the hell happened to you?”

She started to get up and in an sitting position when he gently pushed her back to lie down and tucked the comforter around her while she stared at her handsome boyfriend, still not being able to digest the fact that he was here and in front of her.

“Don’t move.” He ordered her with a strict voice, and she complied knowing that now wasn’t the time to mess with him. His rage was surfacing right now and her heart warmed looking at him, she could feel his worry and concern for her.

She took her arm out from the comforter and placed it on his, silently sending waves of calmness through her empathy. He stopped and stared at her pale hand on his before losing himself in her deep pools of amethyst.

“Jason…” she began in that smoky yet sexy voice of hers that always makes his heart beat erratically. “I just got a little distracted during the fight today, and besides I am not that hurt…I will be better tomorrow.”

She tried to give him a reassuring smile but he just looked her straight in the eye and asked in a deadly tone “Who hurt you?”

Raven sighed, silently rubbing his hand with her thumb, trying to calm him down but her efforts were in vain.

He wouldn’t calm down, he couldn’t knowing that someone had hurt his little bird; someone had harmed the one who he loved with every fibre of his being, the one who made his tortured life worth living.

He was angry.

He was angry at her for not taking proper care of herself, he was angry at her teammates for not protecting her but most importantly he was angry at himself for not being there to protect her, take care of her.

She knew that he wouldn’t calm down till he got to know what happened so she recounted “Today Adonis and Doctor Light were causing some trouble together in the city…I was occupied fighting Doctor Light that I missed Adonis who charged at me and crushed me against a wall.”

Jason ran his hand through his black curly hair angrily, his stubborn white lock still insistent on falling on his forehead. He kissed her hand which was still in his and got up from her bed heading towards his suit.

He needed to pay some villains a visit.

He had just put on one leg of the pants when he heard “Jason, where are you going?”

“I think I need to remind the villains of this city who Red- X and what happens when you mess with him or the people he loves.”

Her heart skipped a beat when he indirectly said that he loves her, they had yet to confess their feeling to each other. “Jason, they are already in prison.”

She hoped that he would come back to her but he just grinned sinisterly and said “Makes my work a lot simpler.”

She sighed and summoned all her strength, getting up from the bed and walking towards him. He had almost suited up but when he felt her hand on his shoulder he immediately turned and saw her standing behind him looking a bit pained. She took his arms and placed them around her waist while hers went around his broad shoulders.

His anger slowly bubbling down, he hated and loved that she could calm him with her patient actions and soothing touch.

He was about reprimand her for getting up from the bed in her wounded state. But before he could say anything she started “Jason, I’m fine…I’ll heal up by tomorrow. Don’t worry about me.”

He placed his forehead on her uninjured part of forehead carefully, his body still flowing with concern and said “I will never stop worrying about you Raven, it hurts me to see you in pain and it hurts me even more to know that I wasn’t here to protect you from it.”

She smiled and reached up to place a kiss on his forehead, swallowing up the pain in her ankle and said softly “You are here now.”

His heart soothed with her words, yes he was here now and he vowed to himself to always be there and with that he leaned down and placed her lips on hers, engulfing both of them in a passionate and loving embrace which they were deprived of for four months.

After a while he parted from her, both of them panting but he still continued his ministrations on her, kissing from her cheek to her neck making her moan. Not able to get enough of her, good god have mercy on him, he missed her addictive taste so much.

After a while he pulled away from her, staring into her eyes lovingly. Wordlessly he bent down and carried her bridal style to her bed and placed her gently saying with a gentle kiss on her forehead “I will always be there for you.”

He stripped once again out of his suit and smirked seeing Raven blush at the sight of him clad only in his boxers, almost three years and he still made her blush.

He approached her, flexing his muscles and almost groaned seeing the lust in her eyes. Well that would come tomorrow, once she was all well no power on earth would be able to pull him away from her.

The vigilante laid next to her and she slowly sprawled herself over him, her head resting over his heart and with cautious reluctance he wrapped his arms around her after pulling the comforter over them and asked “Are you okay?”

“With you, how can I not be?”

She said in a sleepy voice and his heart skipped a beat. There was no place where he would rather be than here- with the girl he loves with everything he has- in his arms.

Yup, he loves her. Now he just had to tell her.

[harryseyebrows]

“when he shows any shred of traditional masculinity (without and sexual undercurrents), i revert back to a species of cavewoman and want him to impregnate me immediately,” that’s it! That’s exactly what it is! Lmaooooo it’s so primal, the axe throwing like it literally is caveman shit and I’m here like yaaaasss go kill that buffalo and bring it home for dinner (or whatever cave people ate idk lmao) as I’m pregnant with our 10th child lmaooooo

pregnant with our tenth child and then catching a glimpse of him in that loincloth, starting to prep for baby #11 

[profound-boning]

Sweet Surrender, Sweet Forgiveness

@destielharlequinchallenge prompt: “No More Sweet Surrender” by Caitlin Crews pairings: destiel, background sam/eileen, past sam/ruby word count: 24k tags: no warnings apply, celebrity au, enemies to lovers, fake relationship, psychiatrist dean, actor cas, meddling ketch, minor character death, past drug abuse and abusive relationship, mutual pining, love confessions ao3

huge thanks to @adoringjensen for her cheerleading and support

“Look, I’m not saying Nowak is absolutely without a doubt an aggressive brute. I’ve said several times that I don’t know him personally. But his story, his reputation, it’s all there. Immigrant kid learns to fight and gets a silver medal for it: we rewarded his desire to beat other guys up, and now he’s a household name with posters for his movies all over town. Putting men like that on pedestals is caveman worship.”

“And that’s the title of your book, Dr. Winchester?”

“Yes ma’am. The text includes my scholarly research on domestic partner violence and other forms of violence we see as a result of idolizing, well, Neanderthals.”

The clip ends and reverts back to the smiling, plastic faces of the hosts.

“There you have it folks! If you’re just tuning in, that was a clip of yesterday’s interview with Dr. Dean Winchester, a psychiatrist whose book is compelling and will make you question everything you know about hero worship. Mari, what’s your take—”

“What a disgusting display. Honestly, you’d think he gets off on emasculating other men. Can’t imagine why.”

Castiel rolls his eyes at Ketch’s complaints. Complaints about everything, really, but mostly about The Interview. Ketch literally won’t shut up about it. He hasn’t mentioned anything else since Cas came out of his bedroom at half past ten yesterday morning. Ketch’s spare key is meant to be for emergencies only, but whatever; Cas is long since used to Ketch dropping by whenever he feels like it, exclusively for managerial purposes of course. Can’t have your client off doing something you haven’t personally approved and scheduled, after all.

“We need to get out in front of this.” Ketch is typing madly on his phone, thumbs flying. “You’re going to have to do something.”

“I know, Ketch.” Cas sighs wearily. “But another interview immediately after his would be—”

“Yes, tacky, yes,” Ketch interrupts. “Not quite an interview, then. Just a brief chat with the press.”

“A brief chat?”

“Yes, that’s a good idea, Castiel. Let someone catch you outside and ask you about it.”

Cas rubs his temple. “And what, pray tell, is my response to these claims?”

Ketch’s fingers pause. He looks at Cas who is still lying across the plush couch in the living room, one eyebrow raised and unamused.

“That they are ridiculous, obviously. That you are decidedly not a Neanderthal, regardless of what sniveling psychiatrists think of you. And of course you can use that to plug Amazing Grace’s charity event coming up next weekend. Neanderthals don’t dote on orphans, do they?”

“Certainly not.” Cas nods, even though Ketch is already turned away from him, focused on his cell phone again. Sighing, Cas resigns himself to whatever scheme Ketch will brew up for him.

Ketch has been managing Cas’s career for years now. Even before he’d starred in his first major film and was slowly working his way into the acting scene with small roles on TV, Ketch was there for Cas. It’s hard to imagine where he’d be without Ketch’s brains and ability to schmooze anyone, to dig up any and all information he needs, and to get his way. Ketch is a mental powerhouse like Cas is a physical one.

And Ketch had determined—apparently through sheer force of will and probably calling in a few favors—which café was Dr. Winchester’s favorite and arranged for his driver Gadreel to drop Cas off there that very afternoon.

It’s cutesy, with a whimsical name and decór to match. Cas wonders idly what will happen after the press (who Ketch has no doubt alerted about this little outing) find it. He steps inside anyway, shrugging off his denim jacket and pushing his sunglasses to the top of his head. The end of March had brought warmer temperatures to Los Angeles, spring blossoming everywhere you look.

And right in the middle of it all is Dean. He’s seated at a table by the far windows, a steaming mug and a book in front of him. He’s… kind of cute, actually. Cuter than he’d looked on television anyway, which Cas knows to partially be the fault of the unforgiving lights and the clothes and makeup and hairstyle recommended for him. Gone is the tweed jacket, cream button down, and brown slacks. In their place are stylish black shoes, dark jeans, and a light pink button down with the sleeves rolled up. His hair is not that slicked up mess from yesterday, but rather a soft fluff at the top of his head and it’s a darker brown than it had appeared on TV. And there’s some stubble on his jaw, like Dean has been avoiding a razor for the past two days. As he makes his way over, Cas is utterly unashamed to think that this look much better suits the doctor.

“I’m thinking it’s kind of weird to read one’s own book, so this is likely something else. ‘How to Score a Date with a Neanderthal’ perhaps?”

If he’d startled Dean, the other man doesn’t show it. He blinks, taking in the fact that Cas is now standing in front of him at a perfectly average coffee shop just outside of L.A.—and is not just a face on a screen—remaining perfectly calm.

“Oh please,” Dean finally says, looking up at Cas with an unamused expression. “Like it’s hard.”

Cas drapes his jacket over the quaint fake-distressed chair across from Dean. Cute though he might be, Dean Winchester is still a douchebag and Cas needs to remember that. “Harder than writing bullshit about someone you’ve never met. That is, obviously, quite easy.”

“For your information,” Dean starts, closing his book with a snapping sound. “I have not once pretended like I was writing about you with personal experience. I’ve said numerous times that we’ve never met and, frankly, I avoided writing anything about you that wasn’t an actual fact based on what you or your management has said to the public. Family information is easy to get from newspapers, medical and police documents, you name it. Everything was legal. All I did was draw connections between my research and people like you.” Dean takes a sip from his mug. Smug bastard.

“People like me,” Cas repeats. “You don’t know any people like me, sweetheart.”

[ Read the rest on ao3 ]