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#important note: girlies is gender neutral
sentient-forest · 1 year
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#cecilsweep and Welcome to Night Vale trending #1 in 2023
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pathesis · 1 month
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Emoji OC Q&A - Nessie!
I'm and felt like doing a Q&A with some lil doodle thrown in for my girlie Nessie! OR another one of my OCs.
I'm just bored and wanna doodle and talk about my babies♥
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EMOJI's/QUESTION IDEAS BELOW THE CUT + ORIG LINK
( ask me meme I just mixed in some DND/PATHFINDER related questions lol if I repeated emoji's oops)
𝐎𝐁𝐉𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐒.
💭 THOUGHT BALLOON — what is your oc's Alignment?, enneagram, and/or other personality aspects (if known/interested in)?
🗺️MAP — What's your current campaign?
🧚RACE— What is your oc's Race?
⚔️CLASS— What is your oc's Class?
🛡️WEAPON— What is your oc's Weapon of choice?
🚗 CAR — does your oc have a driver's license? can they drive/operate any automobiles/machinery besides cars?
✈️ AIRPLANE — does your oc like traveling, or do they consider themselves a more homey person?
🎮 VIDEO GAME CONTROLLER — what are three of your oc's favorite hobbies?
💍 RING — does your oc have any piercings? do they want any (more) piercings?
🖊️ BALLPOINT PEN — does your oc have any tattoos? do they want any (more) tattoos?
📚 BOOKS — what level of education has your oc most recently completed/is currently in (GED, undergraduate, grad school, phd, etc)?
🎻 VIOLIN — does your oc play any instruments? what is their skill level (beginner/intermediate/advanced/virtuoso/etc)?
🩹 ADHESIVE BANDAGE — does your oc have any physical and/or mental disabilities?
🩸 DROP OF BLOOD — What's your fav enemy or enemy you hate the most?
𝐒𝐘𝐌𝐁𝐎𝐋𝐒.
🎶 MUSICAL NOTES — what type of music does your oc like? do they listen to music very often?
💯 HUNDRED POINTS SYMBOL — share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.
💤 SLEEPING SIGN — is your oc a light sleeper or a heavy sleeper? how are their sleeping habits?
🔱 TRIDENT EMBLEM — can your oc swim? do they enjoy swimming?
🔺 RED TRIANGLE POINTED UP — What's your in game inside jokes/memes/catchphrases and where they came from.
🔶 LARGE ORANGE DIAMOND — does your oc know cpr? do they have any other medical expertise?
🚫 PROHIBITED — does your oc drink/smoke? do they do it regularly, or is it more on occasion or for special events?
😇DEITY — Is your OC Religious/ believe in a Deity?
💥INITIATIVE — What's your favorite fight/encounter?
𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄.
🌈 RAINBOW — what is your oc's sexual orientation/gender identity? what pronouns do they use?
🎄 CHRISTMAS TREE — what is your oc's favorite holiday?
🐶 DOG FACE — does your oc have any pets?
🐈 CAT — does your oc prefer a wide circle of friends or a few close friends?
🐷 PIG FACE — what is your oc's favorite animal?
🐉 DRAGON — What color was your first dragon? or Have you encountered one?
🍃 LEAVES FLUTTERING IN WIND — what is/was your oc's favorite subject in school?
🌴 PALM TREE — does your oc have a green thumb? do they enjoy gardening?
🍎 RED APPLE — where was your oc born? do they still live in/around their place of birth or do they live somewhere else? how do they feel about their birthplace?
𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒.
❤️ RED HEART — what are three of your oc's positive traits?
🤍 WHITE HEART — what are three of your oc's neutral/questionable traits?
💔 BROKEN HEART — what are three of your oc's negative traits?
💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?
🧡 ORANGE HEART — does your oc tend to prioritize family or friends?
💛 YELLOW HEART — how many languages does your oc speak? what language(s) are they learning, if any?
💚 GREEN HEART — does your oc prefer being inside or outside?
💙 BLUE HEART — does your oc have any cool/special powers and/or abilities? how are they with magic, if it exists in their world?
💜 PURPLE HEART — Your favorite thing about D&D/PF/PF2e/TTRPG?
🖤 BLACK HEART — has your oc killed or seriously wounded anyone before? have they broken someone's heart and/or broken someone's trust?
𝐅𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐒.
🎂 BIRTHDAY CAKE — when is your oc's birthday? how old are they? what are their sun, moon, & rising signs (if known)? what about their tarot card, ruling planet, & ruling number (if known)? do they fit the typical traits of these sun, moon, & rising signs?
🍝 SPAGHETTI — what is/are your oc's favorite food(s)?
🍰 SHORTCAKE — what is/are your oc's favorite sweet(s)/dessert(s)?
🍦 SNACK TIME — Does your oc have a fav snack?
🍔 HAMBURGER — is your oc good at cooking? are they good at baking? which one do they prefer?
🥯 BAGEL — what does your oc's typical breakfast look like? do they usually eat breakfast?
🥪 SANDWICH — what does your oc's typical lunch look like? do they usually eat lunch?
🍛 CURRY AND RICE — what does your oc's typical dinner look like? do they usually eat dinner?
🍸 COCKTAIL GLASS — what is your oc's favorite alcoholic drink, if they can drink?
☕️ HOT BEVERAGE — does your oc prefer coffee, tea, hot chocolate, milk, water, or some other drink? how do they like to take this drink (ex. coffee with milk, hot chocolate with whipped cream, a specific kind of tea, etc)?
𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄.
😊 SMILING FACE WITH SMILING EYES — what are your oc's career/general life desires? what do they want to get the most out of life?
😖 CONFOUNDED FACE — is your oc an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert? do they let people in easily, or are they more reserved?
🤔 THINKING FACE — what are some of your oc's quirks/mannerisms?
🧐 FACE WITH MONOCLE — is your oc more logical or emotional?
🤓 SMILING FACE WITH GLASSES — is your oc chatty or quiet? are they at ease in social situations, or are they more shy?
🤩 FACE WITH STARRY EYES — is your oc a planner, or are they more spontaneous in their actions?
😥 SAD BUT RELIEVED FACE — is your oc prone to getting stressed out, or is it easy for them to keep their cool?
😓 DOWNCAST FACE WITH SWEAT — is your oc open-minded or stubborn? are they inquisitive or do they prefer to keep to their bubble of knowledge?
😞 DISAPPOINTED FACE — Have you ever regretted something your character has done?
🤒 FACE WITH THERMOMETER — does your oc get sick easily?
🤡NPC — Favorite NPC?
💀— Favorite death? (monster, player character, NPC, etc).
👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 🏠FAMILY WITH MOTHER, FATHER, SON AND DAUGHTER — how many people are in your oc's immediate family? how many people are in your oc's extended family? do they have aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc? who in their family are they closest with? are they close with their birth family, or do they have a found family?
👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 THE PARTY— Introduce your current party!
THIS ASK MEME TAKEN FROM HERE♥
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april-first · 5 months
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[translation note] Chapter 120 & Chapter 122
I haven't started properly comparing the official translation and the original yet, but I was curious about Chapter 120 and the bullying scene, and I noticed an important difference which also makes the context of the last few pages of Chapter 122 more obvious.
CW transphobia
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The word the bullies say doesn't truly mean "crossdresser" it's "girly boy" at best and a certain transmisogynistic slur starting with S at worst, depending on the context. Now, if you fast forward 2 chapters you get this scene:
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With the exception of "Absolutely asinine." which is just the translator adding a nonexistent line, the translation is okay. This is followed up by:
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The translation of this line is good, but keeping everything else about Tsubaki in mind the implications are not "Umemiya only likes women" but "you're not a real woman" and that's obviously pretty different. (If a chapter titled "Sisters" didn't do it idk what will make the official translator finally refer to Tsubaki-chan as a girl,,,,,,)
And here's the original of the final scene:
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Generally speaking translating "men or women" as gender neutral is the better choice most of the time, but IMO it would have been better if the translator kept it here.
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eddieheart · 9 months
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Take Me To Texas
(Part one)
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Fandom: 911: Lone Star
Pairings: Past TK Strand X Alex
Words: 2089
Description: How TK found himself and his father.
Warning: talk of triggering topics, overdose, implied prostitution, implied sexual assault, domestic abuse, implied domestic abuse, implied homelessness
Author’s note: So this is the first story I’ve written/published in months, I’ve had terrible writer block paired with a mixture of no motivation and executive distinction, so I really hope you enjoy! That’s again to @buggylad for editing.
——
TK guessed it started when he was a kid. Playing around the house with his trucks and firefighters. Refusing to wear dresses, only 'boys' clothes.
They were all obvious signs, if not that maybe running around the house at full speed insisting his new name was Tyler. Anything else was too 'girly'.
He always has been and always will be, Tyler Kennedy (He didn't choose the middle name but what could he do, he was stuck with it) Strand. And boy, he made sure everyone knew.
TK was grateful enough to have grown up in New York City. A place where he could be himself with less... backlash. There were always gender neutral bathrooms and single stall change rooms.
It had been rough, being gay and trans, even in a place like New York. Bigots are bigot regardless of where you live.
But with the support of both his parents and a firehouse full of people (willing to do anything to protect him) TK was able to transition safely.
TK has spent every day since his unofficial name change as Tyler and he loved every damn second of being him. Well, maybe that was a bit of a broad statement. Life, like always, has its ups and downs, he's just happy he gets to go through them as Tyler.
Just before puberty he started hormone blockers, as a teen he took hormones and as soon as he was eighteen TK got top surgery. His parents had helped pay for it as a birthday gift.
It was a saving grace, being able to get the treatment he needed, but it wasn't all sunshine and roses. His doctor had prescribed him an opioid for the pain and unfortunately TK had gotten addicted.
Because he was out of the house, living alone, no one saw the signs and because he was in school, his parents had just assumed that he had been overly focused in his work, forgetting to reach out.
What his parents didn't know was that their only son was spirally. Something that people don't realize is that the more you use drugs, any drugs, the more you get accustomed to that dose, and soon enough you need a higher and higher dosage to get the same effects.
It's because of that, that TK eventually turned to heroine. He'd always hated t-shots as a kid but because he needed it so often he became very good with needles. It's not like he was sharing them, he always got clean ones. Either from the store or the shelter and he was as safe as he could've been given the circumstances.
It all went by so fast, his past life slipping away before his eyes. He got in too deep, ran out of money and had to find different ways to pay for what he needed.
Though in the end it hadn't mattered how safe he'd been, he overdosed. Though it was this final hit to rock bottom that brought TK, at that point, to the most difficult part of his adult life, pregnancy.
//
"That's impossible, I've been taking T since I was a kid, I was on hormone blockers!"
"It's unlikely yes, but not impossible. Tyler, TK, you are pregnant. I have some information here that you can look at and when you're ready to talk we can discuss your options. Wether that be keeping your baby or, possibly, having an abortion."
//
Tyler had been more than terrified, how could he make a decision this important alone? He couldn't go to Alex, surely not his parents and by now he'd lost all his friends. He was not ready to be a parent, that he knew.  
After weeks of deliberation TK decided he would keep his baby and hopefully adopt her out to family who could take care of her. But when she had opened her eyes for the very first time, staring up at him with wonder and adoration, he knew he couldn't let her go.
He didn't know it then, but keeping Charlie had been the best decision of his life and since then he's never looked back.
                                 ——
"Hey, Greene?," TK asked casually, glancing up from the floor. Broom griped tightly in his hands. "Do you know anything about new positions in other districts?"
"Thinking of moving you and little miss mazel?" The other replied in a playful tone.
Eric had turned away from the fire engine, rag still held tightly in hand, glancing up at TK. Greene had a jovial smile so bright that TK could already feel the corners of his lips twitching up.
"Oh, I don't know.. Just thinking that maybe a change might be good." His eyes darting nervously between his senior and the stations floor.
Green seemed to ponder for a moment before turning back to him.
"Well you got dual certified right? Last I heard there was an ambo opening in Austin." Tyler's eyes widened, that far away.
"Texas?"
"Yeah. You interested?"
Thought started to flash by, he knew it'd be all well and good until the neighbourhood found out he wasn't at all like the white, cishet, Christian he appeared to be. What would a bunch of conservative Texans do to a trans, gay Jewish man, who'd given birth to a baby girl?
"In Texas? I don't know man, probably not." He replied sullenly.
"I'll keep your hat in the ring just in case."
                                ——
A pounding interrupted the peaceful silence of both TK and Charlie's apartment. The door chain rattled as someone roughly hit the hard wood, over and over.
"Let me in TK!" Alex's voice screamed out.
A chill went up his spine, like ice water being thrown down his back. TK stood up straighter and made his way over to the entrance of his home.
"Let me in!" Alex yelled out again, voice carrying through the entire apartment.
Thank god Charlie was still in bed, that kid slept like a rock. As soon as her head hit the pillow she was out, o she'd slept through an entire thunderstorm. It was incredibly hard to wake her once she was down, which TK was very thankful for right now.
"Leave Alex! I have to take Charlie to school." He yelled back at man behind the door.
TK realized his mistake as soon as he spoke, the other man quickly yelling back through the door.
"I can help with that baby! C'mon!" If TK didn't know better, Alex could have almost sounded sincere.
But he wasn't an idiot, he knew what this was really about. He also knew that as soon as his 'sorry' phase was done Alex would go right back to how things were before.
"If you don't leave now I'm calling the cops for violating your restraining order! Go now!" Fear swam through TK's stomach, internally begging for Alex to just leave.
"Fine! I'll be back!" Alex had never truly cared about him, he knew that now. After what happened how could he not.
//
TK was in pain, he hadn't realized it until now, but he was hurting. This was going to be the death of him if he didn't change and he couldn't leave his baby girl all alone. It had hurt more that coming down from drugs the first time and all the times after that too.
It was just a slap to the face, but it wasn't just a slap. Certainly he'd sustained worse injuries, but this had been the last straw. Alex had hit him before, belittled him, neglected him, forced him to do unsavoury things, things that left a bad taste in his mouth.
But he'd never done it in front of Charlie before, never. TK had heard he scream, seen the tears roll down her eyes and watched as Alex stormed out the apartment in a rage. So no, it wasn't just a slap in the face, it was a revelation.
So that's how they ended up here, all their belongings quickly packed up into TK's car driving to his dads house. They hadn't see each other in way too long, but right now he needed his dad.
Charlie had stirred awake as TK pulled into the driveway of his childhood home. TK unclasoed his seatbelt as the little girl rubbed the sleep from her eyes.
"Daddy, we d'er 'et?" She asked in a soft, tired voice.
"Not yet sweetie, I'm gonna go check to see if everything is ready and if it is I'll come get you. You just go back to sleep okay?"
"M'kay."
//
Things had sort of worked out in the end, even though Alex finding their new apartment was more than a setback in both he and Charlie's lives.
"Charlie? Charlie barley, Charlie barley bee? Where's my bumble bee?" TK called out.
He wandered through their apartment halls, peaking around corners, trying to find his little baby. Rounding a final corner he came face to face with his baby girl, a blanket draped around her shoulders covering her head slightly.
TK scooped her up into his arms and spun her around, only stopping to gently tickle her tummy.
"There you are!" He cried out in mock outrage and surprise.
"Ahhhh!" Charlie yelled in a mess of playful, glee filled screams.
TK fell backwards onto the couch the young girl held softly, yet firmly in his arms. She leaned back into her dads chest hands making a grabbing motion, trying to play with his hair.
"Bababa! I caught-ed you! I did you've been catch-ed-id!"
He smiled into the little girl's hair, she squirmed in his hold, joyfully kicking her feet. Charlie threw herself backwards into his arms over and over, causing TK to let out whatever was left in his lungs as she swung about.
"Daddy!" She cried out again.
TK chuckled at her antics, pressing his cheek to hers, faces side by side, holding her tiny little hands in his much larger ones.
"What do I win for catching you bubba?" He asked jokingly, rocking her side to side.
Her feet swung back and forth, eventually she became too wiggly to hold in his arms and she began to push away again.
"Daddy!"
"Charlie!" TK called back in the same tone.
Charlie slid off his lap and grabbed the tv remote off of the coffee table. She slowly threw herself back onto the couch, trying to get back up. TK chuckled to himself, she was too small to just sit down so she had to use one leg on top of the couch to pull herself up.
When her mission was finally accomplished, Charlie pressed the hunk of plastic into her dad's chest and sat down next to him. She pushed her face into his side playfully.
"Wanna watch the TV with me Charlie bee?"
Her response what immediate, head shooting yo from where her forehead had been resting on his shirt.
"Ews!" She yelled out excitedly, arms flapping up and down beside her.
"The news? What is with you kid, I've never met another two year old who likes the news." TK asked, a playful smile on his face.
"Ewws! Ews!" She cried out again at the seemingly arborant lack of outdated musak and weather reports.
"Okay, okay, I'll put on the news." As soon as the tv was turned on Charlie jumped up from her sitting position on the couch cushion and threw herself back into TK's lap.
An older grey haired man came into frame.
"Uncle Bob!"
"Yeah! Uncle bob? Since when is he your uncle?"
"F'ever." She mumbled out, eyes glued to the television in front of her.
"Since forever? I don't know about that."
"Mmmhmm." She replied forcefully.
"Okay then."
The noise of the tv filled the apartment Charlie enthralled with local news stories and TK enamoured by his little girls reactions to what was being said.
Suddenly, a new segment cut through his daze and seemed to finally bring Tyler's attention back up to the screen.
"And now a story all the way from Austin, Texas. A fire crew lead by New York's own Owen Strand a former NYFD fire captain and now..." the sound drowned out, he barely heard anything after the name.
Owen Strand, His dad.
"Hey baby, how would you feel about moving to Texas?"
Thanks again for reading, let me know if you want/what you want to see in chapter two!
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blnk338 · 9 months
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Can I ask a super personal question? I don't know what your sexuality is and you don't have to say of course but if you were say, bi. Would you be able to come out to your mom seeing how "rocky" your relationship is (I'm not sure how to phrase this, just remember u saying something about it not being the best)? And how would you approach the topic? Or maybe it would be better to take Nadya/mom as an example? I'm having trouble remembering what her mom's reaction was or if Nadya ever told her? Sorry if it's too out there, I just find topics like this important, especially if I can use advice I learn in future and you seem to enjoy deep discussions like this. Maybe if other people want to share their experiences as well that'd be cool? If you're okay with it only though. I am so nervous to send this but I don't have anyone to talk to about this. I hope it's not trouble!
//homophobia, transphobia, shit parenting, mentions of abuse
to put something into context to better answer your question, ill choose another thing to compare it to outside of sexuality: gender. there were a few years that i experimented with who i felt i was gender-wise. i tried to come out to my mom as a trans guy (identified as nb first, but didn't think they/them pronouns fit as much, and knew she wouldn't understand so i wasn't out at this point), and her general reaction was: "i don't hate gay people (she just generalized all LGBTQ+ as 'gay'), but you're not gay and you can't say you are." please note that my dad was actively supportive and, frankly, just wanted me to be safe and happy, so it wasn't a big deal; he also made it clear that he wasn't surprised that i was changing because everyone does (his rules were pretty much on the line of "as long as you aren't hurting yourself or others, I don't care). it took me a very long time to realize that my situation wasn't as bad as many other cases of kids coming out, but it wasn't a positive outcome. i was actively neglected and my mom chose to support whatever else my older sibling did because they were the golden child. in school and around friends, i used he/him pronouns and a different name, but that was never respected at home.
but i got into high school and realized that i wasn't trans, i was actually harboring a lot of internalized misogyny and i just hated being cornered into the traditional idea of a woman. with that being said, the damage was done. when i told my parents (sort of a re-coming out? i don't even know how to describe it, but i was still worried that they would be mad that i was changing again.), it was another weird reaction. dad was fine, mom was indifferent, and never said anything about 'having her little girl' anymore because i think she realized that i wasn't going to be the girl that she wanted me to be. today, i know i have masculine traits, but i still feel like and am a woman.
the traditionalism that i think she wanted to put on me didn't work and i took on a lot of typically masculine traits: I'm built, i prefer shorts/pants over skirts/dresses (though, I'm not opposed), i like engineering and computer science and construction, and I'm not that much into makeup or typically girlie stuff. it took me a while to unlearn the hatred i had for femininity due to the strangulation of my mom. if any of you are worried-- don't feel that way at all, I'm safe. I've moved out and cut contact
nadya's mom never actually had much of a reaction. i didn't want to add the underlying homophobia because i was worried it would go too far for people, y'know? i had nadya's mom, who i have named diane, just be horribly neutral-- she didn't care that much. i hope this is okay for this part of your ask haha
i didn't grow up in a red/conservative family though. my folks are immigrants, but come from two wildly different cultures. there wasn't a fear of me being kicked out or abused (at least physically) because I knew that a) my dad wouldn't have let that happen and b) i was a fat kid who had the weight over my mom, if she had chosen to hit me, i wouldn't have gone down without landing a few hits in myself.
i don't mind questions like this at all, and I'm grateful that you feel comfortable asking. if i did have a problem, i simply would've been vaguer :)
however, with the idea of coming out, it is now more pertinent than ever that you be careful, especially in the us. i recommend taking your own steps and trying to analyze whether or not your parents would take it well-- your safety is the number one thing that's important.
remember that if you have to cut people out, it is not a judgment on your character, but on theirs. if someone chooses to hurt or throw out their kid/anyone they know for being queer, they are not worth your time.
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shihalyfie · 3 years
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An Adventure/02 pseudo-honorifics chart
I’ve mentioned a few times that I maintain an Adventure/02 honorifics chart for the sake of fanfic writing (it’s generally a pretty vital thing to have on hand if you intend to use honorifics in fanwork, or even in fiction at all), and I’ve even mentioned that I’d like to release it someday, but one thing that was always holding me back about it was my constant checks for accuracy -- an acquaintance was also keeping one, and when we compared them we found some minor inconsistencies that would require us to rewatch the entire series with a notepad to get the right references.
After a fashion, I realized that I was scrutinizing this way too closely. The important part is not the specific honorifics themselves but rather the pattern in which they’re used -- especially because they would often alternate in-series, partially intentionally, and partially because they would flip-flop depending on writer. On top of that, most people who would be interested in this are likely writing post-2002 fanfic, where it could be reasonable for certain honorifics to change based on certain relationships.
As such, I’ve decided to just throw out the minutiae, forget about making an organized “chart”, and simply write a general overview of how the twelve Adventure/02 kids use honorifics for each other. Hopefully this can be an interesting resource/meta for those who are considering writing fanfic with these (or even simply due to general interest).
Before we begin, a few notes:
Overall, I am mostly omitting “obvious outlier cases” where a character called someone else something different from usual, but context made it clear why that particular instance was different. (For instance, Miyako trying to butter Daisuke up by calling him “Dai-chan” in 02 episode 8; she very much would not have done this in most circumstances.) I am also not looking too deeply into one-off outlier cases that seem to wildly fall outside the pattern, and seem to merely be the result of whoever was writing that episode/piece of media not checking the chart.
The tri. anime series and tri. stage play actually contradict each other, and given that they’re supposed to take place in around the same period, you basically have to commit to one or the other here. Between the two, the anime series has a number of incursions that go against patterns in ways that make it difficult to form a consistent analysis about it, whereas the stage play is much easier to make a consistent case between 02 and Kizuna (with comparatively much fewer outliers), so in terms of providing actual analysis, I will be prioritizing the latter’s take.
Due to similarly having too many obviously contradictory incursions, 02′s first drama CD (Armor Evolution to the Unknown) is also mostly removed from consideration, with the exception of instances when it’s a factor in an already ambiguous situation.
All twelve Adventure/02 characters are consistently respectful with elders and strangers (with some exceptions; Taichi really wasn’t very amused with Gennai when they first met). The following analysis is important mainly in regards to the kids’ relationships with each other.
I’ll be marking down the first-person pronouns for Digimon partners as well, but for the sake of brevity I’ll be sticking with the “base” forms (Child for everyone except Tailmon, who’s Adult) and not the higher ones.
General overview
A quick crash course on honorifics and how they’re used!
Firstly, there’s first-person pronouns, which, in the scope of fiction, generally are used to indicate a character’s disposition. Note that “one character consistently using one first-person pronoun for nearly every situation” is very endemic to fiction in particular; in real life, one may change their pronoun depending on whom they’re talking to or the context in which they’re speaking, but Japanese fiction is generally much more consistent about using these as consistent points for characterization, even to the point of bringing out pronouns that aren’t practically in use anymore in real life.
The ones generally of importance to the Adventure kids:
ore: Masculine and assertive. Note assertive instead of aggressive; it simply implies being very self-assured, and you can still have a stoic character who uses ore. Since it’s a very casual and somewhat brash pronoun, a character who uses this might still default to something like boku depending on the surrounding circumstances (for instance, Taichi, who normally uses ore, will still use boku when speaking to adults on the phone).
boku: Masculine and deferential/polite.
watashi: Gender-neutral and somewhat deferential/polite. When used by male characters, usually it’s to imply that they’re particularly mature or polite (since otherwise you’d probably expect boku).
atashi: Feminine and casual. The “casual” connotation means that it’s often employed by aggressive or assertive girls in a sort of feminine equivalent to ore, but it can also simply mean that they’re just very girly (see: Mimi).
When referring to each other, honorifics come into play. Honorifics are generally used based on a combination of “comparative level of station” (i.e. whether someone is in a “higher societal position” than you or not -- yes, even a single school grade can matter here!) and “sense of distance” (i.e. whether you are a close friend to the person in question or not). And, of course, there’s also the question of how polite the speaker is in general. These factors do weigh against each other, so that’s why it’d still make sense for two very close friends to use honorifics on each other, if said friends are portrayed as particularly polite in general.
No honorific: Referred to as yobisute in Japanese, this is actually something that merits a category on its own, because it’s something you should only be whipping out when you’re particularly close to the person. This is especially in the case of elders; unless you really do have a close relationship to the elder in question that they can forgive it, you’re being a bit in-your-face and rude for acting like you’re on their level.
-san: The most common honorific, because it’s the one you can generally rely on to default to if you’re not sure and want to be polite. Upward-facing and polite.
-senpai: Similar to -san in that it’s upward-facing and polite, but it has a stronger connotation of “someone who has been in a certain field longer than you have”. Depending on the characters in question and the relevant situation, it and -san can be interchangeable (this happens with the 02 kids and their Adventure seniors, who are both people the 02 kids look up to as people in general and people who are in higher school grade levels and further experience in Digimon-related issues).
-kun: Downward-facing and polite. In this case “downward-facing” simply means that the person you’re addressing is either on the same “societal level” as you or lower on the social ladder; it’s not meant to be used in a condescending sense! (Well, at least, not by default, anyway.) Its use is still considered respectful, especially moreso than dropping the honorific altogether, but it simply means that you’re also not necessarily deferring to the other person being higher than you. On very rare occasions, you could theoretically use it for a senior you consider yourself particularly close with, but this kind of usage never comes into play with the twelve kids in the Adventure universe (its most notable Digimon usage is Appmon’s Haru using it for Rei, who’s one year older than him).
-chan: Endearing and somewhat casual. Often used for younger girls. Because of it having a “cute” implication, it’s the one honorific here that may be advisable to avoid if you want to avoid that implication; it’s not rude per se to be using it, but it’s definitely possible to want to avoid the implications and go for “-san” (despite that normally being upward-facing) or “-kun” (despite that being a bit more formal) instead.
On top of that, it should be noted that there is a difference between calling someone by their surname vs. their given name, mainly in terms of sense of distance -- formality usually dictates prioritizing surname first by default, someone really close with a particular friend can go as far as given name with no honorific, with the other extreme being using surname and adding an honorific. Likewise, “surname with no honorific” can imply a bit of bluntness yet mutual level of comfort in a relationship, while “given name with honorific” can imply politeness but still with a sense of tight friendship and familiarity -- basically, it’s a grey area. Fortunately, in the case of Adventure/02, this only really matters in the case of Ken (and, in one instance, Koushirou).
And finally, note that if two characters call each other a certain way long enough, honorifics can “stick” and even start taking on an “endearing nickname” sentiment -- which is why you might see a phenomenon of people still using honorifics on each other even when their closeness to each other might suggest otherwise. This is pertinent mainly in the case of certain characters who continue calling each other a certain way even after their relationship should suggest that they’ve gotten a lot closer -- the implication being that they’ve called each other that for so long that it feels weird to change now. (Yes, that even includes between dating and/or married couples.)
Incidentally, all Digimon partners (with the exception of Tentomon and Hawkmon, who use -han and -san respectively, and Wormmon, whose single-minded dedication to “Ken-chan” means he really doesn’t talk about anyone else other than a reference to “Izumi Koushirou-san on the phone” in 02 episode 26) simply refer to the humans by given name and no honorific (including humans who aren’t their partners); presumably they’re allowed this due to not being members of Japanese society per se, and therefore not being beholden to its standards.
To wrap this up, here’s a reminder of everyone’s school grade levels in relation to each other, from highest to lowest (note that we don’t actually know anyone’s specific birthdays, so we have to go by school years):
Jou
Taichi, Yamato, Sora
Koushirou, Mimi
Miyako
Takeru, Hikari, Daisuke, Ken
(empty space here)
Iori
Taichi
First-person pronoun: ore (assertive)
General honorifics pattern: Given name, no honorific for the boys (”Yamato”, “Jou”, “Daisuke”, etc.). Uses given name with “-chan” with most younger girls (”Mimi-chan”, “Miyako-chan”), the implication being that he simply treats them casually without being extra blunt or extra polite.
Parents: tou-san and kaa-san (still roughly respectful, but casual enough to drop the respectful o-).
Sora: As he’s known Sora for a while even before the events of Adventure, Taichi simply calls her “Sora” with no honorific.
Mimi: Taichi was known to call Mimi “Mimi-chan” in Adventure, which was consistent with how he called Miyako in 02, but in Kizuna it seems to be just “Mimi”. There are multiple potential interpretations, one being that something may have happened to make the two more intimately close between Adventure and Kizuna, one being that something happened to make Taichi feel that Mimi shouldn’t have a “diminutively endearing” honorific, one being that the scene in question was rather serious and he felt it wasn’t the right time...and one being that the writers simply just forgot.
Jou: Notably, Taichi’s lack of using honorifics for the boys also extends to Jou, who’s a year older than him, either because he’s fine being casual enough with Jou that he doesn’t mind violating propriety, or he made the same mistake as Yamato (see below) and initially mistook him for being in the same school year due to Jou not initially coming off as very senior-esque (unlike with Mimi, Jou wasn’t explicitly designated as the leader of the others’ camp groups).
Hikari: Hikari is Taichi’s sister, so he simply calls her “Hikari” with no honorific.
Other notes: Amusingly, while everyone calls Gennai “Gennai-san” for the most part, Taichi isn’t very patient with him at first and calls him “jiji” (old man) during Adventure, but seems to have gotten over himself and calls him “Gennai-san” in Kizuna. (Well, he’s not an old man anymore by then.) Unlike Taichi, Agumon uses boku (polite), despite the two characters otherwise being very like-minded. Agumon is a little more easygoing than Taichi in general, so it can be said that Agumon represents Taichi’s nature of not being altogether aggressive when it really comes down to it.
Yamato
First-person pronoun: ore (assertive)
General honorifics pattern: Given name, no honorific for the boys (”Taichi”, “Jou”, “Daisuke”, etc.). Like Taichi, he uses given name with “-chan” with most younger girls (“Hikari-chan”, “Miyako-chan”).
Parents: oyaji (think roughly in the sense of “my old man”) for his father, kaa-san (again, a bit more respectful but still rough enough to drop the o-) for his mother (whom he doesn’t live with).
Sora: Yamato omits the honorific for Sora, implying he considered her a close friend even during the time of Adventure.
Mimi: Notable mainly because of our lack of information about this; Yamato and Mimi never referred to each other over the course of Adventure or 02, and while Mimi’s way of referring to Yamato (”Yamato-san”) was easy to extrapolate even before Kizuna based on existing patterns, the reverse could go either way, depending on whether Yamato would see her as close enough to merit the drop. The Adventure mini dramas have him call her “Mimi-chan”, but this was in unison with everyone else, so it’s hard to tell whether it counts; the tri. stage play and the Kizuna novel has him drop the honorific.
Jou:  Like Taichi, he never uses any honorific with the one-year-older Jou, the canonical explanation being that he initially mistook Jou for being in the same year (well, not like Jou was acting as the epitome of a dignified senior...).
Ken: Yamato initially refers to him as “Ichijouji-kun” when discussing Ken’s circumstances with Iori in 02 episode 35, but during 02 episode 42, when Ken is now working directly with him and has integrated himself more as everyone’s friend, Yamato simply calls him “Ichijouji”, being more willing to speak to him on a more blunt/close level (but not quite knowing him as well as the other 02 kids, whom he’s on given name basis with).
Other notes: Yamato is the one Adventure senior who gets a lot of interaction with the 02 group in Kizuna, and interestingly, the four of them all call him “Yamato-senpai”, despite him not going to their school -- given that they’re dealing with a Digimon incident, the implication is that they’re treating him as an experienced senior in that respect. Despite what his shy personality would suggest, Gabumon in fact uses ore, like Yamato. Gabumon can be said to represent Yamato’s emotional core, so it is true that he can be very assertive when it really comes down to it.
Sora
First-person pronoun: Mostly used watashi in Adventure, with fairly uncommon lapses into atashi, fully moving to atashi by 02. This is consistent with her characterization difference between Adventure and 02, the latter of which portrayed her as quite a bit more assertive about what she wanted and rather less deferential (and also a lot more willing to come off as more feminine, at that). The tri. stage play sticks with atashi. Kizuna has her go back to watashi, which can possibly be taken as her deciding to be a bit more mature in her adult years -- basically, Sora is the kind of person where going either way fits her, since she’s capable of being assertive but also likes to carry herself calmly and maturely (and her teenage years are where you could most definitely believe she’d be the most aggressive about it).
General honorifics pattern: Uses “Jou-senpai” for Jou, treating him properly like a school elder. Given the rest of her way of using honorifics, most likely she’d use “-san” or “-senpai” for most elders. Uses given name plus “-kun” for younger boys (”Koushirou-kun”, “Daisuke-kun”) and “-chan” for younger girls (”Mimi-chan”, “Miyako-chan”). In other words, generally diligent about using honorifics, dropping it only with people she’s particularly close with.
Parents: Generally respectful okaa-san and otou-san.
Taichi: Having known Taichi as a peer for quite a long time prior to the events of the series, Sora simply just calls him “Taichi” with no honorific.
Yamato: Initially Sora calls him “Yamato-kun”, and it’s reasonable to extrapolate she probably would call most boys her age with the “-kun” honorific, but early in the series, Sora starts alternating between “-kun” and simply calling him “Yamato”, which allegedly was actually intentional to indicate foreshadowing of their building relationship. This alternation continues all the way into 02, even after they start dating -- Armor Evolution to the Unknown has her calling him “Yamato-kun” even when she refers to him super-endearingly (implying it really has become a nickname of sorts), while DSB has her drop the honorific, and both firmly depict them as dating. For what it’s worth, the tri. stage play and Kizuna also depict her as dropping the honorific.
Daisuke: Sora actually drops honorific for Daisuke, possibly due to knowing him from the soccer club.
Ken: “Ichijouji-kun” in 02 episode 38. This is in the context of her observing how much he’s changed, so, much like with the other seniors, she thinks well of him, she’s just not particularly close with him to merit moving to given name basis.
Other notes: Piyomon, who’s portrayed as clingy and affectionate, uses atashi from day one.
Koushirou
First-person pronoun: boku (polite)
General honorifics pattern: -san for everyone older (”Taichi-san”, “Jou-san”). “-kun” for younger boys (”Takeru-kun”, “Daisuke-kun”).
Parents: Generally respectful okaa-san and otou-san.
Mimi: Mimi is the same age as Koushirou, but Koushirou presumably doesn’t feel comfortable using the “affectionately endearing” “-chan” and would rather use the more respectful “-san” instead.
Hikari: Hikari is an unusual case in that she’s quite a bit younger than Koushirou, but Koushirou still calls her with “-san”. Presumably, he didn’t feel comfortable going with “-chan” like everyone else did (and presumably for the same reasons he won’t use it for Mimi either). This persists even all the way into 02, but interestingly, he calls Miyako differently (see below), so it’s hard to say what his stance would be on younger girls in general, or whether Hikari got special privileges due to the circumstances of how she met the group (as the younger sister of his respected senior Taichi, and as a fellow Chosen who met everyone during some rather personal circumstances detached from school). The tri. stage play floats up the idea that he might have accepted “Hikari-chan” by 2005, but Kizuna takes the stance that he’s still using “Hikari-san” in 2010.
Miyako: Koushirou, having met Miyako during some rather impersonal circumstances and initially only having a computer club senior-junior relationship with her, calls her “Miyako-kun”. Note again the avoidance of the “-chan”; he really doesn’t seem to want to use the “cute” honorific, and would rather treat her a little more formally.
Ken: Koushirou refers to Ken as “Ichijouji-kun” in general, Ken getting the surname basis as he joined the group on the level of him somewhat of a stranger to Koushirou compared to the other 02 kids. That said, this shows up even during their heart-to-heart in 02 episode 33, so other than the surname thing, it’s clear that Koushirou using the honorific is less detachment and him simply wanting to extend the same respect he uses for everyone else.
Other notes: Koushirou is infamous for using polite language (-masu, -desu, etc.) in every circumstance, including even with the Digimon (who are generally treated as being outside societal obligations of honorifics) and younger characters. The implication is that this came from Koushirou being deferential to everyone out of sense of distance and lack of self-esteem after his revelation of being adopted made him lose sense of his place in the world. In Adventure episodes 38 and 54, it’s made apparent that Koushirou wants to learn to speak more casually with others, but has difficulty doing so, and his parents and Tentomon assure him that he doesn’t need to force himself. Koushirou continues speaking this way even into 02 and Kizuna, but the epilogue implies that he at least doesn’t do this with his daughter (and the Character Complete File that he at least broke out of this with Tentomon). Tentomon uses Kansai dialect, which is stereotyped as being associated with easygoing and less book-smart characters (in contrast to Koushirou, and also for the absurd humor of the terrifying-looking Kabuterimon speaking this way), but he also uses the polite form, so he can be said to match Koushirou in this way by simply being polite and deferential to others in general. While most Digimon don’t use honorifics for humans, Tentomon also uses “-han” (the Kansai variant of “-san”) on any human he talks to.
Mimi
First-person pronoun: atashi (casual). Mimi is normally a very polite girl, but she also likes being in-your-face cute, so her usage of the pronoun is in line with this.
General honorifics pattern: -san for any and all elders (”Taichi-san”, “Sora-san”), -kun for younger boys (”Koushirou-kun”, “Daisuke-kun”), and -chan for younger girls (”Hikari-chan”, “Miyako-chan”). Mimi is depicted as having been raised as a sort of “lady of the house” (ojou-sama) personality due to having been spoiled by her parents, so she’s basically a “spoiled sweet” sort of girl who is polite and respectful to pretty much everyone -- hence why her speech pattern is uniformly consistent across everything. Of course, since she’s also very fond of “acting cute” and proud of it, younger girls like Hikari and Miyako get the cute “-chan”. The sole exception to her pattern is “Jou-senpai” (see Jou’s section on why).
Parents: Super-affectionate “Mama” and “Papa”, in line with the over-the-top lovey-dovey-ness of the Tachikawa household. Mimi’s mom goes as far as to endearingly call her “Mimi-chan” (her father is just “Mimi”).
Ken: Referred to Ken as “Ichijouji-kun” starting in 02 episode 25. This was in a context of her wanting to get him in to help, so she clearly has no ill will with him, she just doesn’t know him all that well compared to the other 02 kids.
Other notes: Palmon, who also enjoys acting cute, uses atashi much like the like-minded Mimi.
Jou
First-person pronoun: boku (polite). There’s an incident where he famously slips into ore when trying to intercede in the argument between Taichi and Yamato during Adventure episode 8, so it can be taken that he does have it in him to be more assertive if he lets his emotions take control of him, but otherwise is deferential.
General honorifics pattern: Interestingly, Jou seems to consider himself close enough to the older boys in the Adventure group to use given name with no honorific (”Taichi”, “Yamato”, “Koushirou”), despite what his insistence on societal propriety might make you think. In other words, he can be very casual when he really wants to be. With the girls, he generally uses given name plus “-kun” (”Sora-kun”, “Mimi-kun”), the implication being that he doesn’t like using the affectionate “-chan” on them and wants to keep them at a somewhat respectful and polite distance rather than the more casual manner he treats the boys with. Likewise, boys who are a certain level of younger than Jou are on given name basis plus “-kun” (”Takeru-kun”, “Daisuke-kun”); since this includes Takeru, who was also part of the Adventure group, it seems to have more to do with closeness based on age than anything. It’s unclear what he would do with elders since he’s the oldest depicted of the twelve, but most likely he’d at least be consistent about his -san and -senpai if he’s not particularly close with them.
Parents: Jou was never depicted with his parents in the series proper, but in Armor Evolution to the Unknown he uses “tou-san” for his father and “kaa-san” for his mother (generally respectful but still somewhat casual).
Shin and Shuu: Jou is depicted as calling them “Shin-niisan” and “Shuu-niisan” respectively.
Hikari: Jou’s one major reference to Hikari in Adventure was “Hikari-chan” -- presumably, Hikari being so young that it’s okay in his book to use the endearing honorific. The tri. stage play has him use “Hikari-kun”, so you can maybe presume he now sees her as old enough to be treated with the more formal honorific. Because both cases are somewhat isolated (one showing up really only once in the series and one being from a writer who may not have caught that one time), it’s difficult to make a projection.
Other notes: Jou infamously seems to exude such a “school senior” aura that he’s occasionally called “Jou-senpai” in settings where other characters might use “-san” for others (mainly Mimi, whose initial relationship to him was being under his responsibility in their summer camp group, and the 02 kids, who jump on using “-senpai” for him much faster than they do most of their other Adventure seniors, despite not even going to the same school as him). This has led to the Japanese fanbase often latching onto calling him “Jou-senpai” affectionately. Gomamon infamously uses the first-person pronoun oira, which is basically like the assertive ore but with a more laid-back and almost country bumpkin-esque air to it. It’s much in line with his very laid-back and playful personality, the complete opposite of Jou’s.
Takeru
First-person pronoun: boku (polite). This is actually a plot point; Adventure episode 12 (which is a Takeru focus episode) also uses boku in its title, and the narration for the 02 episode 50 preview suddenly uses boku, culminating in the reveal that the narrator was Takeru the whole time.
General honorifics pattern: Consistently uses given name “-san” for all elders (”Taichi-san”, “Jou-san”, “Miyako-san”, etc.). Uses given name plus “-kun” for boys who are the same age or younger (”Daisuke-kun”, “Iori-kun”). Hikari is “Hikari-chan”, so he’s comfortable enough to use the endearing honorific (although it might just be because it’s Hikari, whom he happens to personally know very well). In general, Takeru is a fairly polite person and adheres reasonably well to honorific propriety.
Parents: Super-affectionate and somewhat childish “Mama” and “Papa” in Adventure; generally respectful “okaa-san” for his mother and ever so slightly more casual “tou-san” for his father in 02.
Yamato: In Adventure, Takeru initially calls Yamato “onii-chan”, the “o-” being respectful, and “-chan” being endearing. He carries this into 02 as well. Given that it’s unlikely for him to continue doing this much longer after 02, different media ended up going in different directions with this; DSB went with “nii-san” (still very respectful, but missing the “o-” and not as “cutesy”), the tri. stage play went with aniki (one of its few holdovers from the tri. anime; somewhat more blunt and less respectful), and Kizuna uses DSB’s “nii-san”.
Ken: Takeru starts off calling him “Ichijouji-kun” when they’re just starting to get to know each other. This does happen to persist even as their relationship gets deeper and Takeru significantly warms up to him, culminating in him still seeming to call him this by Kizuna’s drama CD, but it seems to be more out of politeness/respect (or, most likely, habit, considering how long it took for Ken to get on good terms with everyone in the group) by this point. (Ironically, this is a significant improvement over when Takeru had punched out the Kaiser in 02 episode 17, in which his references had been an extremely passive-aggressive “Ichijouji-san” and a more genuinely angry “Ichijouji” -- once everything had calmed down, Takeru presumably felt that he at least deserved proper respect.)
Other notes: Patamon uses boku, much like Takeru, which is probably meant to accentuate his “childishness” (in Adventure) and general like-mindedness with Takeru and easygoing nature (in 02).
Hikari
First-person pronoun: watashi in Adventure, atashi in 02, watashi in the tri. stage play and Kizuna (specifically the drama CD). This is likely for similar reasons to Sora in that Hikari was portrayed as rather deferential to others in Adventure but got quite a bit more assertive in 02, then, as she got older, went back to carrying herself a bit more maturely (and, if the tri. stage play is to be believed, went back to it at an earlier age, presumably since she’s more on the polite side than Sora), albeit still of course bright and assertive when she wants to be.
Parents: Generally respectful okaa-san and otou-san.
General honorifics pattern: Much like Takeru, she consistently uses given name with “-san” for all elders (”Sora-san”, “Koushirou-san”, “Miyako-san”). Uses given name plus “-kun” for boys of the same age or younger (”Takeru-kun”, “Daisuke-kun”). It’s unclear what she would do with younger girls, but she probably wouldn’t be averse to using “-chan”. All in all, much like Takeru, she’s fairly polite and adheres to honorific propriety.
Taichi: Hikari consistently calls Taichi “onii-chan”. Given Hikari’s personality as a lot more willing to come off as “cute”, this is in line with her.
Ken: Like Takeru, Hikari starts off calling him “Ichijouji-kun” and sticks with it even after the group accepts him; again, Ken took an unusually long time to get on good terms with everyone in the group, by which time the surname basis had likely become habit for her, Takeru, and Iori.
Other notes: Because Hikari is called “Hikari-chan” by so many characters, the Japanese fanbase tends to attach the honorific to her name a lot when discussing her. Tailmon’s first-person pronoun usage mirrors Hikari’s in that she uses watashi in Adventure, atashi in 02, and watashi in the tri. stage play and Kizuna drama CD -- beyond mirroring Hikari, it also exemplifies 02 being the point in time when Tailmon seemed to be keen on making use of her new life and freedom.
Daisuke
First-person pronoun: ore (assertive)
General honorifics pattern: Consistently uses “-san” (”Taichi-san”, “Koushirou-san”) and/or “-senpai” for his elders (mostly “-san”), with the exception of Miyako (see below) -- in general Daisuke is actually quite respectful of his seniors in the Adventure group. For his friends in the 02 group, he eschews honorifics entirely and generally goes to given name basis with no honorific (”Takeru”, “Iori”), with the exception of Hikari (see below), so when it comes to people he’s actually closer with on a personal level, he doesn’t really seem fond of keeping distance with honorifics (much like Taichi and Yamato).
Parents: Doesn’t directly address his parents in the series proper, but the Character Complete File supplies “tou-san” and “kaa-san” (generally respectful but casual).
Jun: Refers to her as “aneki” (blunt and in-your-face).
Taichi: Although Daisuke has used both “-san” and “-senpai” for both Yamato and Jou, Taichi is the one where the interchangeability is most clear, since Daisuke has a particular relation to him as his respected soccer club senior.
Hikari: Consistently calls her “Hikari-chan”. The implication is, of course, that he sees her as cute and endearing, although it’s also completely possible he’d use “-chan” for any other similar age or younger girl he develops a particular rapport with (he does go along with Mimi’s suggestion of “Nat-chan” in The Door to Summer).
Miyako: Omits the honorific with her and simply calls her “Miyako”, despite her being a year older. The implication is that they banter so much and are so like-minded that he feels comfortable being more abrupt with her. She personally doesn’t seem to mind, especially given that, when Daisuke momentarily gets a bit disoriented and calls her “Miyako-san” in 02 episode 30, she complains that it sounds weird (meaning that it sounds weird coming from him, given that everyone else in the group calls her this).
Ken: Initially calls him “Ichijouji” prior to 02 episode 39, having just gotten out of the fights with him as the Kaiser and not quite being on personal friendship levels with him (much less treat him at a “polite distance”), but still wanting to handle him casually in his bid to integrate him into the group and get to know him better. He first drops the idea of switching to given name basis and calling him “Ken” in 02 episode 30, and is depicted as directly switching to it on-screen and committing to it when declaring Ken to be his friend in 02 episode 39. From then on, with Ken as basically his best and most important friend, he sticks with it.
Other notes: Being the very active and playful type, V-mon uses ore, just like Daisuke.
Ken
First-person pronoun: boku (polite); that includes as the Kaiser, implying that he was trying to portray himself as “regal and dignified” during that time.
General honorifics pattern: “-san” for all elders (”Koushirou-san”, “Miyako-san”), although he also uses “Yamato-senpai” in Kizuna (implying a sort of “Digimon senior” relationship with him and potentially other seniors by that point). Given name plus “-kun” for Iori, and presumably all younger boys. Ken generally uses given name basis for everyone, including the seniors; however, because he started off using “Motomiya-kun” and “Izumi-san” for Daisuke and Koushirou respectively before eventually shifting to “Daisuke” and “Koushirou-san”, it’s implied that this wasn’t necessarily the case when he was still initially ashamed of being around everyone.
Parents: Super-affectionate “Mama” and “Papa”, and his mother calls him “Ken-chan” in return (he’s just “Ken” from his father). The history behind this is really complicated, but the point is that the family is very affectionate when it all comes down to it.
Daisuke: Initially alternated between “Motomiya-kun” and “Motomiya” (phasing out the former as the series went on), having been in an awkward position of Daisuke so prominently having opposed him before suddenly getting in his face trying to befriend him. He drops a “Daisuke” (no honorific) in his head in 02 episode 26 and once outwardly in 02 episode 39, and while he never quite commits to given name basis during 02 itself, he uses it in DSB and in most postcanonical material, including Kizuna, indicating that with their relationship having gotten so close, Ken eventually got over himself and started referring to Daisuke as such.
Hikari: Hikari is the same age as Ken, but he calls her “Hikari-san”. Since the circumstances of why Ken wouldn’t use “-chan” with her are apparent (given his relationship to the 02 group at the time, it would have been incredibly inappropriate for him to use an “endearing” honorific with her), it’s hard to tell whether he would have extended this to all other girls his age or younger, or whether his way of referring to Hikari would have changed as he got to know the 02 group better (our latest point in time is Spring 2003, where he still calls her “Hikari-san”, but past that, it’s unknown).
Takeru: Notable mainly in our lack of information about this -- other than Daisuke (see above), Takeru is the only other boy his age that we get to see, and 02 never actually has Ken use his name in the series, so there’s been dispute over whether it would be “Takeru-san” or “Takeru-kun” (with a larger camp going for the latter, since Ken’s not averse to using downward-facing honorifics, he just clearly didn’t want to use “-chan” for Hikari at the time). There have also been interpretations that Ken might have been on surname basis with Takeru for at least a while; this is also ambiguous, given that he was initially on surname basis with Daisuke but went straight to given name basis with Iori (who, at the time, hated him the most out of the 02 kids).
Other notes: Nobody in the Adventure/02 group of kids actually calls him “Ken-chan”, but Wormmon and his family calling him this stuck so much in memory that the fanbase (and, at times, even official staff) constantly defaults to endearingly calling him this. Wormmon himself uses boku, much like Ken (and also in line with his generally polite disposition).
Miyako
First-person pronoun: atashi (casual). Does occasionally use watashi (polite), but this is very, very rare.
General honorifics pattern: Uniformly given name “-san” for all elders and seniors (”Sora-san”, “Mimi-san”), with the exception of Koushirou (see below), and seems to not be averse to using “-senpai” in certain cases. Generally uses given name plus “-kun” for younger boys she’s good friends with (”Takeru-kun”, “Ken-kun”), but will eschew it if she has a particular rapport with them (see below). Uses “-chan” for Hikari, and likely other younger girls as well. In general, Miyako’s neutrally polite to others “by default”, but is a bit more willing to be in-your-face with people when she deems them to be particularly close.
Parents: Uses “kaa-san” for her mother (generally respectful but casual). She’s not seen addressing her father directly within the course of 02. The Character Complete File supplies “okaa-san” and “otou-san” (overall respectful).
Siblings: Miyako isn’t seen addressing Mantarou directly during 02, and her only direct address to her sisters is in Armor Evolution to the Unknown, during which she calls them “onee-chan-tachi”, implying that she may call them “onee-chan” (respectful, endearing) individually.
Koushirou: Having looked up to him as a computer club senior (but not really having known him personally at the time) prior to the events of 02, Miyako starts off the series calling him “Izumi-senpai”. While she is depicted as briefly calling him “Koushirou-san” in 02 episode 33, most portrayals stick with “Izumi-senpai” (even Kizuna), and given that she calls the other Adventure seniors by given name honorific, the implication is that it really has stuck too much with her, given the way she looks up to him.
Mimi: After bonding with Mimi in 02 episode 6 and fantasizing about Mimi being a sister-like figure to her, Miyako starts calling her “Mimi-oneesama” (”older sister Mimi”). While she does carry this into 02 episode 14, this only crops up when Miyako is in a particularly cheerful or playful mood; when things get serious, she goes back to using “Mimi-san” as usual.
Daisuke: Unusually, she only calls him “Daisuke”, with no honorific like she does Takeru. The implication is that, with how they bounce off and bicker with each other, she considers him enough of a peer to just go straight for the name (especially since she’s averse to Daisuke calling her with an honorific in turn; see above).
Ken: Initially called him “Ken-kun” while gushing over him in 02 episode 8 (not knowing he was the Kaiser), basically fantasizing over the idea of being close to him. Once his true nature was revealed and the fight with the Kaiser ended, Miyako initially kept him at distance as “Ichijouji-kun” when contemplating her feelings on him, but immediately started going back to using “Ken-kun” after solidifying her intent to have him on the team in 02 episode 25, committing to it fully in 02 episode 30 after the incident that led to her slapping him. She is the first person on the 02 team to use given name for him; the implication is that she deliberately decided to start calling him this because of how much she wanted to reach out to him and consider him a friend, with no illusions of standoffishness, and the fact she made this kind of conscious change so early into knowing him is likely why she didn’t end up getting habituated into surname basis like Takeru and Iori seem to have.
Iori: Miyako never uses an honorific for him, simply calling him “Iori”; the implication is that this is from her background of having known him as a neighbor and friend prior to the events of 02.
Other notes: Hawkmon uses “watashi”, which is in line with his very formal and polite attitude. He also perpetually uses polite-form Japanese, and is one of the few Digimon to use honorifics, adding “-san” to everyone’s names.
Iori
First-person pronoun: boku (polite)
General honorifics pattern: Consistently “-san” for everyone older than him (”Koushirou-san”, “Daisuke-san”), occasionally “-senpai” if the circumstance is right (very rarely). Since he’s the youngest of this group, we don’t get to see much about how he would address younger people, but it’s likely “-kun” would be in play to at least some degree. In general, he’s extremely adherent to societal propriety.
Family: Generally respectful okaa-san and otou-san in reference to his parents. His grandfather is “ojii-sama”, getting an elevated honorific due to his extra tier of formal respect from Iori.
Ken: Iori calls him “Ichijouji-san”; by the time he fully warms up to Ken (which takes him the longest of any of the 02 kids), he still calls him this, all the way up to the Kizuna drama CD. Presumably, it also got habituated.
Other notes: Like Koushirou, Iori speaks to everyone formally and politely with the -masu/-desu forms, but in Iori’s case, it’s implied to be part of his strict and formal upbringing, and something he consciously has to hold himself to -- unlike Koushirou, who had to actively force himself to try and speak casually, Iori speaks casually on-and-off with the Digimon, and actually has multiple moments of slipping into casual speech whenever he loses control of his emotions or gets sufficiently angry. Because of this, it’s hard to tell if he’d continue to speak formally with younger people, although Kizuna depicts him as at least speaking that way with his peers in school. Armadimon uses the assertive ore and speaks in Nagoya dialect, giving him an image of a very rough-around-the-edges but laid-back type.
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oftenderweapons · 3 years
Text
Girls’ Night — a girlfriends’ tale
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Characters: OCs (Vixen, Princess, Lace), small Namjoon intromission
Wordcount: 12.2k
Genre: slice of life with discussion of BDSM themes, conversation
Rating: suggested 18+
Hello doves! As I announced the other day, I have been working on extra pieces that I really loved as a concept. This one — I must admit — is especially dear to me since it covers topics that I consider extremely important. This fic discusses mature themes. Please minors, do not read or interact.
Quick recap: (read Jimin’s Love Talk if you want to know the whole background for this story) Princess — Jimin’s girlfriend — has ventured into the world of BDSM after Jimin expressed his interest in being dominated and spanked. A few days after her first brief session with Jimin, two old acquaintances come to her help: Vixen — Namjoon’s girlfriend and Princess’ high school classmate — and Lace, Vixen’s best friend, Princess’ university flatmate but also Taehyung’s latest crush. (Tae and Lace met through Vixen at Taehyung’s housewarming party). The girls meet for dinner at Princess’ apartment and after some confessions and girl talk, they explore the most important rules and procedures a person should know before dominating their partner in a basic impact play scenario, with special contributions of a trained domme and an experienced brat. 
The piece is written with the girls as characters described through the POV of an external narrator. If you want to get to know the characters a bit better, you can find their headcanons here (Vixen — Princess — Lace).
On a lexical note: throughout the text I’ve used the word “dom” both as in short of the verb and of the noun. Even though the feminine form is usually “domme”, I’ve considered it gender neutral, as a short term for both “dominator” and “dominatrix”. 
On an ethical note: I wanted to raise awareness on how a safe, sane and consensual domination works. These days there’s an increasing number of BDSM pieces coming out, and very few of them mention the level of emotional connection that is necessary in these circumstances. Most of them focus on the scene, without showing how pre-session negotiations, aftercare and post-session feedback work. I wanted this piece to be educational and I wanted to show the “background work” on how I plan each BDSM-themed piece before I write it. Though I’ve done a lot of research on handbooks, websites and forums, I am NOT a BDSM educator, so I would recommend reading more in-depth manuals in case you ever decided to venture in this world, and possibly speak with an expert first.
On to trigger warnings: swearing, consumption of alcohol, obviously there is in-depth discussion of NSFW and BDSM themes with focus on impact play. Discussion of hard limits, negotiations, SSC (safe, sane, consensual), safewords, aftercare, bruising, cutting/puncturing (connected with cane and cat-o-nine-tales whipping), marking, pain kink, punishment, drop (both for subs and doms), anatomy of impact play (where to hit, how to hit), sex toys (spanking, face slapping, paddle, riding crop, slapper, strap, whip, flogger, cane). That should be all. In terms of angst, there is some insecurity, jealousy, and slightly traumatic past experiences. Lace recalls one time she “dropped”, Vixen recalls a series of quite intense scenes. There are mentions of Vixen’s second relationship (toxic relationship with a man who called her out for her sex drive, kinkshamed her and forced her into becoming exclusively vanilla). Both Princess and Vixen mention abandoning some friends since they couldn’t trust them close to their boyfriends, or not respecting their privacy. Lace mentions traumas that lead her to learn domination. She also explains her insecurities about possibly dating Taehyung.
Word count: lengthy. 12.2k words. Reading is not necessary but recommended since a lot of pieces stem directly from this one. 
Here is my masterlist!
Enjoy 💖
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EDIT: You can find part two here
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Lace came through with the loud stomps of the heels of her boots, the bag on her shoulder swaying heavily. It looked like she was ready to enter Cat Woman mode, wearing a cropped leather jacket rimmed with a thick black-fur neck. Her wondrous thighs were clad in tight, high-waisted jeans, her black leather knee boots completing the look. She impeccably wore her part.
As she neared the door, she checked her watch, noticing that she was a couple minutes early.
Five minutes later, always fashionably late, arrived Vixen, her hair falling perfectly around her pretty face, her lips tinged with a deep wine red, her doe eyes as inquisitive and wide as usual. It was exactly the girl she had met two years before on the other side of the counter of her shop, it looked like she hadn't aged a week.
"Hello!" She greeted her friend.
"Hi there! Look at you, you look like the best girlie in the world." Lace hollered back.
"Because I am." Vixen replied, basking in the attention and the praises.
"That self esteem is thriving! Freshly fucked and ready to misbehave?"
"Unfortunately not freshly enough, but you know me, I'm always ready to misbehave." Vixen winked before making her way to the entrance of the building, pressing the buzz for Princess' apartment.
"Isn't your big boy attending to his duties?" Lace asked, curious about the whole situation. She had personally met Namjoon and had seen the two of them together. They looked like the it-couple and she would gladly bet big money on the pair. Plus she knew about Vixen's collection and Namjoon's taste in terms of lingerie and negligees: in her honest opinion that's a solid base for a lasting union.
"He's attending, yes, but I don't want to vex him with my continuous cravings."
"Baby, not all of us are like that slut-shaming bastard of your ex. Stop thinking that needing to get laid more than once a week is a shame."
Princess voice sounded from the intercom. "Hi! It's floor 16 number 41!"
"Thank you!" Vixen replied before pushing the door open.
Lace slapped her hand and held the door as Vixen walked through. The other followed. "It's just that… He's been busy, plus he keeps saying he likes to come back early so we can have dinner together, he's always rushing from the studio to the dorms to his apartment. He looks like he'll get drunk on motion sickness before the tour even starts."
Lace stared at her feet as you both stood in the lift. How could she start something serious with Taehyung if they were going on tour? By the time she would get used to him he would be travelling on the other side of the world.
"So he stays at the dorms?" Lace fixed her bag on her shoulder.
"Often, yes. He stays at the apartment when I'm around, but he prefers the dorms when he's by himself or working."
The lift dinged and you exited, heading down the hallway "Thirty-eight, forty, there!" Lace chirped, noticing the open door.
There stood Princess, hair in a ponytail, wearing a fashionable white turtleneck and a thigh knee-length skirt. She looked classy and smart, just like she had appeared during previous meetings.
"Hello girls!" She waved at the pair, gesturing at them to come in.
"Hi there!" said Lace, "long time no see."
"We don’t see each other in ages and then two times in less than a month." Princess replied while hugging her. “Wouldn’t it be lovely if we reacquainted?”
Vixen nodded with a cute smile. "It would. I must say it was a surprise to meet you at the party with Jimin." Vixen took off her shoes as Princess offered her a pair of slippers.
"It seems like fate brought us back together." Princess replied.
“Indeed.” She commented, thinking about how they would get even closer if she gave in to the preternatural connection with Taehyung. Lace tugged at her boots, fighting with them a little before finally removing them, lost in her thoughts. She clumsily tried to avoid Vixen’s stare. She knew the girl would spot her secret in a second. Not now, she told herself. With the slippers on, Lace still looked like Catwoman from the ankles up, but her feet were clad with a pair of pink panther slippers that gave the outfit a hilarious twist.
"Let's move to the kitchen," Princess said, leading the way. "The apartment is small, sorry."
"Don't worry sweetie, with a view like this I would gladly live in a shoebox." Vixen commented, looking out of the window. "Plus you live pretty high up."
"It was accidental. I just needed something close to my office."
"What did you end up doing?" Lace asked as she looked at the prints on the wall.
"I work for a fashion magazine. Usually I do model casting and a little bit of everything about organising photoshoots." Princess replied.
"That sounds great!" Lace exclaimed, grinning.
Princess clumsily opened a bottle of wine, but fortunately no damage resulted. "What about you?"
"I'm a shop assistant in a lingerie shop." Lace replied.
"Don't diminish yourself like that." Vixen said, looking away from the window. "She works at the La Perla boutique in Gangnam, plus she has her own studio where she creates customised orders." The woman patted her friend on the shoulder. "She's amazing."
Princess lit up. "So you managed to make part of your dream come true!"
"A small part. I'm still far from having my own shop." Lace exhaled.
"But she's getting there." Vixen added with a positive note.
"I ordered in a little bit of everything." Princess said, taking the food out of the oven. "I didn't trust my cooking skills knowing this one." She pointed at Vixen. "I've heard you're almost a chef."
"I just took lessons." She shrugged. "I just really like everything that feels like home."
Sniffing at the air, Vixen sparked up, getting cozy at the smell of bulgogi. "This smells very nice."
"A little bird told me it's your favourite." Princess winked.
"Do I know that little bird?"
"He knows you very well." Princess said, admiring how the polished, elegant woman-girl turned completely smitten.
"I'll make sure to thank him."
Lace snickered. "Do you need help?" She offered, while Princess laid out a bunch of smaller plates and bowls with side dishes. "I got some dumplings, pancakes and our baby's favourite: braised potatoes."
Vixen clapped enthusiastically.
Dinner proceeded calmly, all the partakers digging in quietly, chitchatting between one serving and another, catching up on the various mishaps that had happened during those years apart.
"So you studied in Europe, right?" Princess asked Vixen.
"I spent almost two years between France and England, yes." She replied politely, sipping her wine composedly as if she hadn't devoured her serving of potatoes like a very smug wolf.
"Cool. But you came back here." Princess continued.
"Yes, I missed home. And I missed jajangmyeon." Vixen grinned. "Food in general. I like my life here. Living in Europe to me felt like being continuously on the sidetrack of something. Catching up with the culture is seriously a challenge, especially when you're in the art world."
"Right, you're an interior designer." Princess reminded herself.
"Exactly."
"I've heard you met Namjoon because of that."
Vixen smiled. "Yeah, well… The usual. We met at a gallery, I had a meeting with the artist and he accidentally participated. The artist and the director of the gallery accompanied us through the exhibition and at the end he asked if I wanted to grab a coffee. At the beginning I thought it strange that he hadn't booked a private visit, but he said that because of a last minute plan he had begged the director to book him in anytime. Since I'm friends with the director and I have strict privacy agreements at the firm, the curator thought it was a good idea."
"Who would have thought, uh?" Lace chirped in, laying her chopsticks on her empty bowl.
"Y'all, soju?" Princess asked, now that they were all done with the food.
While Vixen nodded, Lace held back. "I think I'll take just a sip. It gets me bloated."
The table was clean, the small cups for soju laying on the table as Princess shook the bottle and poured it according to tradition.
"Cheers to your taken asses and my single one." Offered Lace, the three of them laughing and downing the liquid. Princess drank it without even blinking, Lace taking it in a small measured way while Vixen downed it and scrunched her nose, shutting her eyes tight and shaking her head as she processed the burn.
"You're still a doll." Princess commented.
"And you're still otherworldly cool." Vixen replied, smirking. "You were the most bad ass girl of the class. I had lots of respect for you, but I was so scared of approaching you."
"You were so tiny and shy." Princess gushed. "You were everyone's crush but you were so smart. And a bit strange. It felt wrong to even think of you like that."
Vixen shook her head, "It feels strange to bring up those memories. After university and being abroad it feels like another life."
"Because many things changed in the meantime." Lace argued. "I've known you since you started working, two years ago."
"I spent half of my first paycheck at your shop."
"You did. And I asked you for coffee because I liked your sense of fashion."
"I thought you wanted to date me." Vixen laughed.
"Well, when you're done snuggling your big bear, you know you can come to me." Lace winked.
"My bear is pretty big so it might take me a while to be done with that." Vixen joked. "Plus I'm pretty happy. I haven't been this happy since I was nineteen. I'm content. Satisfied. Taken care of. Loved. I'm thriving." She closed her eyes and shrugged, smiling.
"My bad." Lace patted her own shoulder in support. "What about you and Jimin?"
"Oh, we met during a photoshoot. I assisted in his shoot and when he was done he asked to see the pictures that would feature on the magazine. That's when he asked me out for dinner." Princess said, her eyes shining as she remembered the event.
Lace noticed the two women staring at her. "Well time for my story… Me and my dildo met at the store, he was cute, I was needy and I invited him to my bed. That's how we first met and we've been happy ever since." Lace told emotionally. The other two burst out laughing, Vixen holding her belly while Princess leaned on the table.
"Oh goodness." The smaller one said.
"I think it's time we face our main topic. Would you like to start?." Lace asked Princess.
"Okay. I'll be very direct." Princess warned.
"Don't worry, we're all grown ups here. You're safe, darling." Vixen stretched her arm out to caress her forearm. "And we're pretty open minded, trust me."
"Okay. Basically, Jimin would like me to get a bit more rough in the bedroom. Namely, we tried spankings the other week. He sort of power-bottomed? Like he gave me instructions on how to do it."
Lace nodded.
"I am worried about how to handle this. I want to do it, but I don't know how to do it right. I don't want to hurt him." Princess said with a frown. “And I’m a little worried I liked it so much.”
Lace’s lips formed a small conspiratorial smile. “At the beginning there’s always a little bit of fear. And a bit of… Shame.”
“Yes.” Princess confirmed. “But it’s not something that bothers me. Like, it’s there but it doesn’t bother me. I don’t think it will persist. When I think about what we did… Well, I’m almost proud.”
Lace smirked and nodded. “That’s good. What would you like to work on? Is it just impact play — you called it "spanking" — or is it also domination on a broader sense?"
"Well… Wait, I took notes." Princess looked around, walking towards her bedroom and coming back with a small notebook and the guide.
"It's the book!" Lace exclaimed.
"The book." Vixen wiggled her eyebrows knowingly.
"You, vixen." Lace smirked. "Namjoon is right calling you that."
"You have no idea." The other replied. "Now, let's see."
"I'll return you the book." Princess reassured her.
"You can keep it for another bit. You'll need it again with Jimin."
"We have our own copy, don't worry." Princess replied, with a quick smirk. "Well, I think I can dom pretty fine — as I read the book I realised I already have some of those behaviours. However there are some practices I might have to learn in person."
"Normally we teach how to dom through subbing: what you experienced the first time with Jimin was subliminally subbing." Lace took the reins and explained. "It is one of the most sophisticated forms of domming — being a power bottom — and the fact that he did that should suggest you that A — he's a very skilled sub, or B — he's generically a very smart person with good manipulative skills."
Princess listened to the explanation quite raptured. "Personally, I don't know how far he's gone with his exes but I would say he has taken the lead before and he's quite used to speak up and order me around a little, so his behaviour might come from that."
Lace nodded. "I would recommend that you talk to him and try to design a specific plan for the two of you. As I hinted before I have taken lessons on BDSM practices in a club here in the city. I have received almost two years of training and I have taken part as an assistant to a teacher for another two years, that's why I might sound academic and serious. You can stop me whenever you feel uncomfortable or when you need to ask a question." That's when Lace shifted. Her whole position changed: her back got straighter and her hands splayed on the table, somehow squaring her position.
"Okay." Princess confirmed.
"You know that during university I took that course on acrobatic yoga?" Lace asked.
Princess frowned. "Yeah, I remember."
"Well, it wasn't exactly acrobatic yoga." Lace shrugged and raised her eyebrows. "At the beginning I did do some acrobatic yoga lessons but then one of the students introduced me to this BDSM course and I left yoga for… yeah, you know." Lace laughed.
Vixen listened quietly, observing Princess' reaction.
"Would you consider taking lessons from an expert?" Lace asked.
Princess shrugged. "I think that the book was very good on general analysis. Personally, I've never considered meeting an expert mostly because I wouldn't know where to look for one. Plus, I've only had a week to think about this."
Vixen looked at Lace. "I'll be very blunt here, darling. I think that the best thing to do would be discussing the whole book thing with Jimin. Have pre-session negotiations. Discuss stuff. Find out what you want to explore and go there together."
Lace raised an eyebrow. "However, it is perfectly okay if you want to practice by yourself. Being a good dominant means that you can convey control and safety through your stance and behaviour. That requires practice."
Vixen nodded before adding, "It's okay if you want to take some steps by yourself before bringing him into the equation."
"Okay, so I reckon you have quite some knowledge on the theme. Maybe you could teach me something?" Princess asked Lace, a bit shy but fully determined.
Lace smirked. "That's why I came prepared. However, I must remind you I have been a co-trainer, and that doesn't mean I am a teacher, therefore I can only cover the basic stuff, which for now will suffice."
Vixen's eyes burned expectantly.
"Our girl here might help you see stuff through a submissive's eyes, right?" Lace questioned.
Vixen nodded and smiled, reassuring Princess by placing a hand on top of hers.
"Okay. Let's talk about general principles. BDSM is an acronym for Bondage, Domination, Sadism and Masochism. But I guess you read this in the book." Lace presented.
Princess nodded.
"The golden rule is SSC: Safe, Sane, Consensual. Use protection and make sure that you're both tested and clean if you go without a condom or dental dams. Also, keep your toys clean. Do not start anything if your judgement is clouded — by alcohol, drugs or violent, instinctual emotions. Make sure that both you and your partner want the same things. Explain what is going to happen and negotiate before each session — at least for the first few times. This is also the right moment to talk about safe words."
"Me and Jimin covered these already." Princess noted.  
“Then you’re already halfway there. The biggest part of training is making people always aware of all the steps that could possibly go wrong and make sure that you’re prepared for the worst case scenario.”
Vixen nodded. “As a sub, it is important to feel safe. An anxious sub is a sub who can hardly feel pleasure, and that invalidates the experience as a whole. We only do it for pleasure.”
Princess listened carefully and thought about it a little. “How… How does it feel…To be a sub? I mean, I’ve sort of subbed with Jimin but… Yeah.”
“Well, I’m leaning-sub. That means I rarely dom, and when I do I’m a power bottom — that thing that Jimin did when he gave you instructions on how to dominate him. Being a sub has a lot to do with feeling cherished and taken care of. Some of us are not comfortable with power and responsibilities. Some of us simply like to be told what to do and please. I like doing what Joon tells me to do and do it perfectly the way he wants it to be done, because I know he will praise me and reward me. I know that he loves me regardless of me doing what he wants, but it pleases me immensely to use my submission to show him how far my trust and love for him go. I feel safe when I'm in his hands. And I like punishment, it helps me deal with guilt. When I make a mistake, I always torture myself with guilt and self-hate, but punishment makes me feel like I've made a mistake and I've paid for it. The point is not the punishment, but rather the forgiveness and the sense of atonement afterwards." Vixen spoke with a composed attitude, however her eyes wandered around nervously, as if trying to avoid meeting the others’ gazes.
"In that case the dominant is supposed to be attentive in terms of how far the submissive pushes themself. A sub looking for forgiveness is a sub willing to go further than normal, which means that they might inadvertently reach their breaking point — which shall never happen." Lace highlighted.
"The golden rule is to always leave hungry. There is a fine line between satiety and nausea. The moment you overstep and reach nausea is the moment your sub might hurt themself." Vixen said, tight lipped.
Princess nodded. "I'm glad we can have this conversation. It's not something I can quite talk about with my friends since the whole situation with the boys is pretty delicate. I had to close some of those friendships to keep Jimin safe. I realised I couldn't trust some of those people and I'm glad I realised before it was too late."
Vixen’s leg started bouncing. “Same with Joon. I don’t have that many friends in the city, mostly because of the time abroad and the fact that all of the friends I had by now are married and/or with kids. I couldn’t trust many of them, but you —” she said, gesturing towards Lace, “and when I introduced you to Namjoon I told him you were one of the most discreet people in the world, because you value your privacy and other people’s privacy because of your, uhm, lessons.”
“It feels good to have someone to share this burden with. I’m pretty scared of the tour.” Vixen looked down. The poised young woman seemed to crumble, giving space to an insecure little creature. “We’ve been dating since last November, but our relationship hasn’t really begun until late February. To be honest I’m terrified.”
Both Lace and Princess reached out for her.
“I’m scared.”
“Have you told him?”
“Yes, he knows.” Vixen sparked up for a minute. “We talk a lot. He always asks me how I feel about things. Lately I’ve been spending all my time away from work with him. It’s been… maybe three days since I last went back to my apartment. And in the last month or so I’ve slept alone maybe three or four nights. I don’t know what I’ll do when he’s away.” Vixen’s eyes welled up with tears before she smiled classily and recomposed herself. “But that’s not relevant.”
“It is, baby.” Princess rubbed her shoulder. “You have my number. You can reach out to me anytime.”
“I’ll be there too, you know. I know I’m not your Big Bear, but I can cook and I’m an excellent vintage movie marathon partner.” Lace rubbed the other shoulder, catching the few tears that had fallen. This was a further confirmation that Namjoon was the right man for Vixen: he had reached out to Lace a few weeks after they had been introduced, asking her if it was cool if he asked her updates on Vixen during the tour, mostly because he knew she would put up her strong, charming face in front of him, but secretly she would be worrying over his absence. That brought them close; it felt good to create this safety net for Vixen and it felt even better to know her in the hands of a man worthy of her, attentive despite his busy schedule and strong work ethic.
“Thank you, girls. That’s really sweet of you.”
“You’re the one who made this possible,” said Princess, gesturing to the three of them sitting at the table together. “I owe you. And I reckon this is a good time to make amends for not making friends with you in high school.” Princess laughed. “We’ll all need each other. We could have a group chat with Jin’s girlfriend too. Plus Jimin mentioned Yoongi is seeing someone.”
“Yes, Namjoon mentioned too. I’ve heard she’s a lawyer. He’s got this insanely huge crush on her.” Vixen giggled. “I haven’t met her yet but I’ve heard they were supposed to go out tonight.”
“Maybe we’ll see her at the next gathering.” Princess wondered. “I must admit I’m curious.”
“I am too.”
Lace felt a bit out of the conversation. “Me and Taehyung have been texting.”
Vixen blinked and turned to her. “What?” She had this face that read perfect confusion. “How long? And you’ve never told me? I mean, I gave him your number but I didn’t—”
“It’s because I haven’t been really taking him into consideration until recently.” Lace replied. “Normally I would reply to him with small texts, just to avoid sounding rude.”
“You mean to tell me you have Taehyung wrapped around your little finger — Kim Heartthrob Taehyung — and you weren’t even interested? Have you been doing drugs too?” Vixen looked outraged. “Fucking insane.” She shook her head.
“You know me. I value my privacy. Do you know how fucking un-private it is to potentially date that man? What if they find out about my extracurriculars?” Lace pointed out.
Vixen exhaled and formed a tight-lipped smile.
“Don’t give me the disappointed mom look.” Lace replied. “Plus I’m the same age as you, you have no right to turn judgemental.”
“Of course.” Vixen nodded. “Your safety first, love.”
“It’s just that I want to, but I can barely imagine how fucked up that could be.”
Princess breathed out. “Jimin and I have been extremely private about us and me being so close to the press means I am risking so much.” Princess opened her arms wide. “But it would take a catastrophe to take him away from me.”
“Give him a chance. Tell him about everything outright and let him choose. He’ll take his chance. Don’t choose for him.” Vixen pointed out. “That’s how I did with Joon. We talked and clearly said ‘this is what I need and what I can give, can you comply? Are you okay with it?’ It’s a bit of a bet, but I think the prospect of gain outweighs the actual risk of it.”
Lace nodded. “And then there’s the tour.”
Vixen and Princess nodded. Vixen tried to keep her insecurity and jealousy at bait. All those girls drooling over him, all those female staff members travelling with him. She propped her elbows on the table and pressed her forehead against her palms, her lovely hair falling forward.
Princess, sitting beside her, rubbed her back. “What if you just give him one date. Tell him your situation both about your, uhm— hobby and your emotional state. I’m sure he will understand. His emotional intelligence is impressive.” Princess stated, nodding, her hand still rubbing Vixen’s spine.
“He’s the kind of man I would gladly be a sucker for.” Lace explained. “I knew I was a dom since I was eighteen, but Jesus, I know I would sub for him.” Vixen seemed to awaken at that comment. “I’ve seen his stages. He is insane.” Lace bit her lip. “But I need time to trust him. And it would feel useless to get cosy with him only to have him leave for the tour.”
“Just tell him.” Vixen encouraged her. “He will surely work with you on a compromise.”
“I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Are you okay?” Lace checked in on Vixen.
“Yup. Just a sudden jealousy rush.”
Lace frowned. “He would never. Don’t worry about that.” Lace cocked her head to the side. “He worships the ground you step on.”
“Girls throw thems—”
“He throws himself at you.” Lace remarked. “Plus he loves you. You love him. That’s all that matters. He gave you the passcode to his house, basically made you move in, what else do you need? I bet he’d gladly handcuff himself to you if you asked kindly enough.” Lace joked.
“Scratch that ‘kindly enough’. He’d cuff himself to you without you even asking.” Princess remarked.
“Can we move back to the BDSM introductory lessons?” Vixen asked, shaking her head, but with a tiny smile on her face.
Lace saw that was a good sign. Princess smiled beside her. “Okay, I’ll go with my request. I know I told you I wanted to get to know more of impact play and if we could focus on that...”
“Yes, I get where you’re headed. Let’s get it. But we’ll need a clean table for this.” Lace explained.
“Let’s do this.” Princess stood up from the table, beginning to clean up everything. It took the girls only a couple minutes to get rid of dirty dishes, empty boxes, the glasses and the soju. Even the fruit basket the guests had bought was moved on the kitchen counter.
“Do you have any sanitizer, perhaps?” Lace asked.
“Isn’t it better if we move to the sofa?” Suggested Vixen. “Use the coffee table?”
Princess shrugged. “Same to me.”
Lace nodded convincedly. “Let’s prep the coffee table. Sorry for the main table.”
Princess shrugged. “Needed to clean it anyways.”
A few minutes later the girls were all sitting around the coffee table, Lace’s bag placed at her side while Vixen occupied her other side, Princess sitting in front of them.
“Let’s do an impact play in depth analysis. What you need is one — a dom, two — a sub, three — optional, — supplies.” Lace listed. “Let’s go a bit at a time. First, the dom. A dom must be sober, lucid. No alcohol, drugs, and most importantly, no impulsive, instinctual emotions. If you’re furious, don’t go there. Violent emotions can cloud your judgement. Don’t let those lead you. Of course you might be angry or aroused, but that must not take the lead. If your anger makes you want to give them fifty spanks, but normally your sub can take twenty, you can negotiate maybe twenty-five. Be judicious, never hungry.”
“Good.” Said Princess, focusing on every single one of Lace’s words.
“Once you’re sure you’re in a coherent, calm mindset, you should negotiate with your sub. Remember: safe, sane, consensual. Safe, in this case, involves that your supplies are clean and cannot hurt your sub, both in terms of cleanliness and state of use. Check for loose threads, scratches on leather that could possibly host bacteria or dirt, splinters in case of wooden devices, porous surfaces. We’ll talk about this more accurately in the supplies section. Sane means to check your mindset and your sub’s mindset. Same rules as before: no alcohol, drugs, violent emotions.”
Vixen made eye contact with Lace, silently requesting permission to speak. “Small note on that, may I?”
Lace nodded.
“Your sub might come to you while being emotionally unstable. They might need you for comfort or atonement. Make sure to heal that emotionally before dealing with it sexually. It means to discuss what caused the upset state of mind in order to identify the real entity of the problem, correct the perception of it and negotiate the atonement.”
“Excellent point.” Replied Lace.
Vixen smiled cutely.
“Can I have an example?” Asked Princess with a frown.
“Of course. Let’s say I fucked up at work, I booked the wrong artwork and the artwork they wanted is no longer available. I manage to find an alternative but I somehow feel like I let down my client. I go home and I am scolding myself because I didn’t deliver what was asked of me. My dom may spot my disappointment or may recognise self-punishment. Also, I might explicitly tell my dom I am not feeling well due to a sense of guilt. This leads to my dom asking me why I am upset or why I am punishing myself. I — along other perfectionists like Jimin — tend to overestimate my mistakes, making them a bigger deal than what they actually are. My dom corrects my perspective through objective analysis, underlines my successful abilities in dealing with the issue and suggests potential improvements on those things I didn’t manage to solve. Perfectionists have a strict inner judge that scolds them and punishes them. Therefore their psych is divided into victim and punisher. This fracture obviously causes discomfort. The dom’s goal is to heal this fracture, especially since the perfectionist’s “punisher” side — so to say — is very strict and usually overestimates the damage and subsequently overestimates the punishment. After correcting the perception of the mistake, the dom gives an appropriate price for atonement.”
“So the goal is to stop the guilt trip mechanism?” Princess asked.
“Yes.” Vixen confirmed. “But this is just one kind of spanking. There are other cases. It can be educational or simply sexual. Educational is when the dom corrects the sub’s behaviour because they violated a rule or an order. In that case it’s mostly dom-initiated—”
“Unless the sub willingly misbehaved to earn a punishment.” Lace added.
“That sounds Jimin.” Princess commented, rubbing her forehead.
Vixen smiled widely.
“That’s not funny, you brat!” Lace scolded her.
“When you find your sub willingly misbehaving, you should talk to them very clearly. Usually they do it to attract attention. Ignoring them might hurt them or bring them to further misbehaviour, which can turn dangerous. I normally recommend conversation.” Lace explained. “Pay attention to them and ask why they broke the rule, what they were trying to get out of it. You can give them the punishment they were asking for — for example if your sub disobeyed because it earns them spanks and they like spanks, you can either give them spanks or punish them with something that they really don’t like, for example edging.”
Princess nodded. “That’s interesting, thank you.”
“Any remark, Vixen?”
She shrugged. “No, I don’t think so.”
“What about sexual spanks?” Princess questioned.
“Those can be incorporated into foreplay. Some people are simply aroused by pain.” Vixen shrugged. “It puts the sub into a vulnerable position, and it underlines a power imbalance. It makes the sub feel smaller, powerless — or almost so — and sometimes humiliated.” Vixen explained.
“Exactly. I would add that it stimulates the circulation of blood to the pelvis region, which means that skin is more sensitive, arousal increases and the whole perception intensifies. It builds trust and sometimes, according to personal history of each sub, it can send them back to childhood memories, mimicking the power imbalance between child and adult who disciplined them. It has strong disciplinary and educational value, back to the punishment scene.”
“Oh, about punishment!” Vixen exclaimed. “We forgot the most important part of it all. But it refers to all sorts of spanking, to be true. Negotiation. Once you have identified the fault, tell your sub how many hits there will be, how you will deliver them and with which instrument, which position they will have to assume. Repeat safewords. Make sure that they agree fully to every detail of the spanking. If they do not agree to some parts, ask to find a compromise, a middle ground between your and their needs. Once you have the green light, you can talk your sub through the whole experience as the scene actually develops. Once you are done with the scene, say a code phrase that means that the scene has finished.”
“Okay, me and Jimin did this stuff our first time trying this.” Princess confirmed.
“Wonderful. Was it a positive experience? Did you have any uncertainties, questions?”
“It was a very positive experience, both in mine and his opinion. We talked it out the morning after, since I preferred to have some time to elaborate my personal feelings about the scene”
“That’s okay. As a dom you can experience mixed feelings, especially after a first scene, with activities that are usually misjudged by society”. Lace explained, gently patting Princess’ hand on top of the table.
“I think that Jimin’s positive reaction and guidance helped me feeling positive about the whole scene. He was truly supportive through all of it.” Princess smiled softly.
“That’s a good partner. Both for life and for play”. Lace smiled herself, glad that Princess’ first experience went well.
“There were very deep emotions of care and support and love during the whole scene. A kind of affection and vulnerability I had never experienced with anyone else. I hope I can go there again with him, but next time I want to be more reliable and secure and experienced. I thought that a general introduction, especially about supplies, could help me, since Jimin was interested in that.”
“Okay, let’s just finish the general intro. We were saying safe, sane and consensual. Safe means toys, safewords and aftercare supplies. Sane means both parties know what they’re doing, the dom is aware of the sub’s mental space. Consensual means negotiation about number of blows, technique, position and eventually toys. Make sure that your sub always knows about the motive of the spanking. The natural response, especially to pain, is ‘why’. Make sure they know. Eventually, remind them. Once more remind them of safewords and the final sentence.”
“Do not ever stop unless they safeword.” Vixen said. “If they repeatedly tell you to stop, remind them they have their safewords if they want to. As a sub I’ve said both ‘stop’ and ‘why’ at least a hundred time during a spanking. ‘Stop’ and similar are pretty recurrent. Just say ‘You know your safeword, love’. If they really need them, they will use them, trust me. Just remind them all the time. You could maybe need to slow down, make sure that they aren’t panicking and they do actually remember their words.”
“Yes, that’s right.” Lace confirmed before turning to Vixen. “Have you been studying?” She joked.
“I’ve been reading lately.” Vixen confirmed, with a very happy smile on her face.
Lace mirrored her expression. She knew Vixen had been pushed into quitting BDSM activities by her ex boyfriend. Knowing that she was finally back to something she liked, something she was comfortable with made her happy. “I’m glad you’re back on track, sweetie.”
“Thank you.” Vixen closed the small exchange with Lace.
“Once a scene is closed, your sub might have different responses. They might ask to be left alone. In that case, make sure that healing supplies are ready for their self care. Remind them to check for abrasions. If the skin is damaged on a surface level — that means it is not only bruised, but also broken — you will need disinfectant and probably band aids.” Lace explained.
“But that happens rarely, right?” Vixen asked.
“With average spanking, that is quite rare. Normally you need specific instruments specifically meant to cause abrasions.”
“Like canes and spiked toys?”
“Yes, but not only those. I’ve seen pretty heavy damage caused by an apparently regular flogger.” Lace commented, shuddering at the memory.
Vixen blinked, a bit shocked. “Okay, back to aftercare.”
“Yeah,” said Princess, exhaling and looking away.
“So, unless your sub wants you to leave, you stay around. Provide for them. Rub lotion first. Some subs store specific lotion for this kind of stuff. To ease the burn, the sting, or lessen the bruises.”
Vixen interrupted. “I must say, most of us like the bruises and the reminder-sting, so they don’t really do much about it. Still, it depends on how far you’ve gone and how the sub feels. Usually, my favourites are a cold cloth, lotion and if I went particularly far maybe a painkiller. Normally herbal lotion and muscle relaxant are an excellent solution. They’re softer and safer, especially since you never know how a sub might react to medicines. As usual, make sure that whatever you use on them is safe. Let them prepare their usual medication. Make sure you have plenty of time to ascertain that they are emotionally stable. Do not leave them alone unless they request so, and tendentially it is good etiquette to stay in proximity, in case they change their mind.”
“Thank you so much for all the head ups.” Princess said, true gratitude shining all over her face. “I feel more comfortable knowing that we followed those lines during the first time too. It’s not something absurd. Youjust really need to use your common sense.”
Vixen nodded. “Being smart sure helps, but it’s not everything. You can only truly learn it by making it a routine.”
“You mean practice?” Princess questioned.
Lace nodded. “Yes. Once you actually start practicing, you’ll immediately find out your forte and potential weaknesses. Be comfortable with those: you can ask us or look it up on the guide, or on BDSM blogs. I can send you reliable sources, if need be. I would say you can reach out to my dungeon, it is a safe and discreet environment, but I fully understand your position, and I get that you might prefer to have a private approach to this. You can eventually book personal appointments with an expert. Those normally include non-disclosure agreements and Jimin could be protected from the public eye, as far as it can go.” Lace explained. “We have had many, many clients who have requested so. It would be perfectly normal.”
Princess thought about it and nodded. “I’ll discuss it with Jimin.”
“Perfect. As you can see the key to this is communication.”
“Indeed.” Confirmed Princess.
“Now, let’s get down to the actual business.” Lace opened the bag but left all the contents inside. “Impact play can happen on different parts of the body. Vixen?” Lace called.
Vixen stood up gingerly.
“Tie your hair, doll.” Lace reminded her.
The woman fished a ribbon from her pocket and did a soft ponytail.
“Good. I’ll show you.” Lace fished out a long, silky bag from her weekender; untying the ribbon, she pushed her hand in and extracted a long stick. A cane, Princess corrected herself.
Lace didn’t pay much attention. Its purpose was that of a pointing stick at that moment. “Number one, the derrière.” Vixen turned and Lace let the wooden instrument hover over the girl’s ass. “You know what to do to hit here?”
“Find the tailbone and place your non-dominant hand over it to protect it. Alternate sides, rub between a spank and another. Hit the lower region, far from the nerves up high. Where the flesh swells, that’s where I can hit. Also the back of the thighs.”
“Excellent. That’s all.” Lace congratulated. “Other spots are the back of the legs, more precisely the back of the knees and the calves. However, knees are delicate, so you can only deliver delicate blows with a restricted selection of toys. I would not recommend it. The back of the calves also offer a limited selection of toys, but it is slightly safer to go there. Still, the surface is limited and the knees and ankles are close. The risk of missing your target is high. Since you’re a beginner I would not go there.”
Princess nodded. “What kind of toys can I use?”
“We’ll cover that later. For now let’s just run through anatomy.” Lace answered calmly. “Are you good, Vixen?”
“Yup.” The other replied.
“Perfect. Turn to your side profile.” Lace asked and Vixen quickly provided.
Lace pressed the cane in a line connecting the peaks of each of Vixen’s glutes. “From here—” she moved all the way down to her mid thighs “— to here it’s good. The peak to the midthigh.”
“Great. Got it.” Princess replied. “There are other places? Like…?”
“Would you like to talk?” Lace asked Vixen. “You're the expert.”
“May I?” She asked.
“Of course, sweetie. You’re the expert in this.”
Princess raised an eyebrow at the comment, but still she stayed focused. To say she was intrigued was a big understatement.
Vixen’s sweet voice began speaking. “Other than the backside, as we’ve just mentioned, there are other spots that can be involved in impact play. While the back of the thighs and the butt can stand harsher beatings with almost all toys intended for impact play, other areas are more sensitive, more delicate or consist in a smaller expanse of skin, therefore they shall be treated differently. Both the palms and the back of the hands, just like the soles of the feet can be involved, especially when matched with instruments with a smaller surface of beating, like a slapper, a riding crop and a cane — for example. They shall be treated lightly, since they have lots of nerve endings, bones and tendons exposed.”
“What’s a leather strap?” Princess asked.
Lace lifted a finger as a sign to wait, before digging her other hand in her bag and extracting a small device, of maybe twentyish centimetres of length and five or six of width; she placed it on the table to let Princess observe it. “Handle and slappers.” She pointed. “Very noisy, actually pretty innocuous. The leather bits slap against each other and create a single impact that sounds like a double.”
“It sounds scary, though.” Vixen noted. It always made her blood curl in her veins, the heavy smack turning into a torturous feel as the hit didn’t match the noise. Fear worked, but the sensation didn’t. It was not something she liked, usually.
Lace nodded. “I haven’t used it much. Usually people like the cane on the back of the hands. Because of old school punishments.” Lace explained.
“Right. Thanks.” Princess nodded.
Vixen waited for a sign before moving on. Once she had both women’s attention, she proceeded. ”Thighs are generally all good, if they’re fleshy and plump enough. Make sure that you don’t go too hard when hitting close to private parts. While a vulva can handle a fair bit, the penis is generally more delicate in the structure. Thighs can handle all toys, just like the ass. Paddles, slappers, straps, riding crops, whips and canes. For private parts I recommend the riding crop.” Vixen smiled politely.
Princess interrupted. “The strap is that kind of… like?” She gestured a long and thin rectangle with her hands, looking for words.
“It looks like a belt bent in two, with a handle. Maybe I have it…” She rummaged in her bag. “No. Sorry. I think I left it at home.”
Princess waved her hands. “Don’t worry, that’s okay, I think I visualised it pretty well.” She smiled. “There’s more?” Princess said, marvelled as Vixen began talking again.
“Well, yes. Oh, first a small warning — before I forget. You must absolutely stay away from the belly and the stomach. Same for the lower back.” Vixen showed the various spots on her body with precise gestures of her hands. “Too many vulnerable organs left unprotected there.” She took a small pause and then moved on.
“Some people can handle hits on their shoulders and upper back, where the internal organs are protected by the ribcage and other bone structures; however I would talk with a professional about that kind of scene since you need to flawlessly master advanced equipment — people tendentially use whips and similar, or the strap.” Vixen stopped for a second, looking at Lace as if asking whether she had anything more to ask. Lace shook her head, inviting the other woman to proceed.
“Now, about delicate parts: some people like being slapped in the face, but then again, that must be clearly stated in the negotiations. I’d say you should only use hands, but maybe I’m projecting.”
“In four years, I’ve only used and seen other use hands. Also, riding crops, but usually that’s just to direct head movements or to pat the face, rather than slapping it.”
Vixen nodded. “Great. About interesting stuff, nipples can be gently stimulated with small, very delicate pats. Riding crops are excellent for this use. Also slappers. Maybe canes in some cases.” — Lace did a so-and-so motion with her head. Vixen continued, — “Some people can go very hard on nipples and technically — just like with the butt — women who have bigger breasts can stand more intense stimulation”.
“Oh, that yes. You can use, as usual, riding crops, but also paddles, straps and whips — if you’re experienced.” Lace added.
Princess nodded with an interested expression. She could mention that to Jimin. Imagining him with a riding crop, standing at the side of the bed, rubbing the leather bit against her nipples before whipping them harshly had her losing focus for a second, taking in a big breath and biting her lip.
Vixen grinned. She could practically read the other woman’s thoughts. “For women with smaller breasts and men, I would say to stay on the more gentle side for the first few sessions and eventually — once you know each other and once you know your sub’s pain threshold — you can get more heavy-handed, so to say. As I said before female private parts can handle pretty harsh whippings, especially since arousal tends to make the labia plumper and therefore protect the skin better. Still, you should start slow and work your way up. Male crotch area is a lot more delicate, however the shaft can take a medium-intense whipping. I recommend riding crops and small leather straps.”
Lace raised her eyebrows at Vixen with a proud grin. “Nothing to add. This should be all.”
“Wow.” Princess was a bit excited. If Jimin had looked that good with a few spanks, she could only imagine what he would do once she got more experienced and learned what actually drove him crazy.
“That’s a lot of stuff, I know.” Lace reassured her.
“I’m actually excited. Like, it sounds very interesting. There’s a lot of trust and knowing each other. I really like that. I think it brings the partners very close.”
Vixen nodded. “It does.”
Princess bit her lip. “I don’t want to pry but… Do you do all of that?” She looked at Vixen with a slight blush.
The woman giggled. “Not anymore, no.” She took a meditative pause, like she was reminiscing something. It felt strange that a girl so young could feel so old every now and then. That dark cloud that obscured Vixen’s doll-like traits disappeared, leaving only a fond grin in tow. “Now I do the bits I like best.” She grinned.
Lace looked at her with a bit of worry before smiling again.
“Before we actually start with tools I need to make sure that you know all you need about aftercare and drops.” Lace said seriously.
“Yes, please.” Princess said. “May I recap what we said about aftercare?”
“Yes, sure.” Lace invited her.
“Prepare the stuff before. Check for abrasions: if there are, then disinfectant and band aids. Next cold cloth, lotion and eventually painskiller. Use medicines that my sub takes regularly. Make sure that they’re okay emotionally. If they want me to leave, I do, but I stay close.”
“Amazing. Quick learner.” Lace cheered.
“Those were also in the book.” Princess commented, diminishing her feat. “Plus I did it already. Sort of.”
“I’ve seen people take weeks to put all of that together. You did a good job, stop doubting yourself.” Lace corrected her. God, these two insecure creatures would be the death of her.
“Aftercare is not only physical, but mostly emotional. If your sub wants you close, cuddle them. Jimin looks like the type to want cuddles and reassurance afterwards. Make sure you give plenty. Would you like to explain the drop Vixen?”
“Yes, of course.” Vixen intervened before addressing Princess. “I always like to talk about this subject because it can affect anyone, without any need to get involved in BDSM. ًWhen experiencing an orgasm, our bodies produce an incredible quantity of hormones that make us literally ecstatic. What happens sometimes, especially after long or intense scenes is that our bodies get high on these hormones, experiencing a sense of withdrawal once the rush is over. Such withdrawal, so to say, can cause pretty intense sadness that can lead to numbness, indifference, or even hate and depressive or aggressive behaviours. A good way to slow down this sadness is providing the body with other hormones that usually calm us and relax us. Cuddles and sugars usually are a good way to help the body produce oxytocin — commonly named ‘the hormone of happiness’. It’s the same hormone that spikes when mothers are breastfeeding their babies.” Vixen smiled fondly.
“This is incredible.” Princess said, completely amused. “So cuddles heal both the sub and the dom, I assume.”
“I think so, yes. Usually I’m the cuddler while Joon is the cuddlee during aftercare. Both subs and doms can experience the drop since both suffer the shift in hormones. It’s really about mutual care. Usually though, there are people who suffer more.” Vixen commented.
Lace spoke shyly. “Once I went so hard on a sub that I felt awful with myself after the scene was done.” Lace said. The silence felt heavy, like in some part of her mind Lace was still seeing that scene. “Usually the dom is expected to give the sub water, sweets and a cozy blanket — water for the body fluids, sweets for rebalancing the sugars after an intense effort and the blanket for emotional safety. I remember that one time the sub used the aftercare kit on me. It took me almost an hour to get back on a neutral state of mind.” It was Lace’s turn to be comforted. As Vixen rubbed her friend’s back, Princess spoke.
“So I might experience guilt and sadness afterwards and that’s normal?”
As Lace was still thinking, Vixen spoke up. “It happens, though usually, if your partner reassures you and supports you properly, you should be able to deal with it together with quite some ease. I myself have shouted slurs at my dom in the past during punishment, but that is because pain or anger make you do that. I may have sent him into a drop once, and since that time I always make sure that I praise and cuddle my dom once the scene is over. It’s important that you remind yourself that what is said during an intense scene is due to the sub’s sensations in that moment, therefore you shouldn’t give it much importance. Still, once you have your post-session chat you have every right to say ‘that hurt me, please don’t do that again’. It’s etiquette.” Vixen said with a serious note.
Princess nodded. “So cuddles, water, sweets and a good comfort blanket.”
“Normally, yes.” Vixen replied. “Sometimes shower or bath together, wash your partner clean or have them wash you. For some people physical cleanliness is also spiritual cleanliness. It eases the mind from whatever ‘dirty thing’ you’ve done during the scene. The rest is really what you would normally do during self-care, but with your sub. Facemask? Junk food? Lotion? Massage? Tea? Whatever you like as long as you do it with affection.”
Princess nodded. “This is really helpful. I just need to do anything that Jimin likes, and do it with him.”
“Yes, if he wants you close — which I assume he does, knowing the two of you.” Vixen smiled.
Lace added her own contribution. “If possible, remember to schedule a post-session chat. Whenever it feels comfortable. Normally you wait until all parties have fully recovered before saying ‘let’s talk about it together’, but some subs are already okay talking about it during aftercare. Just make sure that you know how your sub felt about the stuff that you did together, and that you tell them how you felt yourself. This is not one-sided. Power imbalance is limited to the scene: once you’re done, You’re equal again — that’s why a final sentence is necessary. It breaks the power imbalance and repristinates equality. All parties are equally entitled to support and communication.” Lace said, making sure that Princess grasped the concept. That’s where most couples went wrong: communicating.
“Thank you girls.” Princess said gently. “Thank you for the insights, and for your personal experiences.”
“You’re welcome.” Lace said heartily before grinning. “Now, let’s discuss supplies.”
Vixen cheered with a small ‘yes’ at which Lace replied murmuring ‘painslut’, chuckling playfully.
“Let’s start with these.” Lace showed her hands, letting the sleeves of her shirt fall a little, exposing her wrists. “These are your main instruments.” She showed the palms, then the backs. “You can use them everywhere. You can use your whole palm, flat, for a sting and cupped for a thud.”
“What’s that?” Princess asked.
“Vixen.” Lace called.
“A sting is when it prickles and bites, a thud is when it reverberates and goes deeper. You go with a quick, fleeting swat when you go for a sting—the palm must be flat and there must be a bit of wrist game. To deliver a thud, you should let your hand cup slightly and hit hard, keeping your hand pressed where you hit. It’s a matter of angle and speed.” Vixen replied readily, as if she were being asked what is two and two.
Princess grinned and nodded. “I see. Jimin mentioned something about it, but I don’t remember clearly. Which one hurts the most?” Princess asked Vixen.
“Well, it depends. It’s a different kind of pain and it depends on one’s sensitivity. Personally I prefer thuds, because usually it’s the muscle taking most of the impact, in case of traditional, over-the-knee butt spankings. Stings make my eyes water a little, because it hits a smaller area of skin with more pressure. But it really depends on what your sub feels.”
“It is all in the way it is delivered.” Lace stated.
Vixen bit her lip, nodding, and moved on.
“Hands can be also used to slap the face, as we said,— that should be especially clarified during negotiation — but also nipples and genitalia. Also, thighs, calves, hands and feet — though in some cases they might be too mild. Always remember that it is good manners to try the toys on yourself first, especially if it’s a toy you’ve never used before. Get familiar with its weight and density and grip, so you know how it affects you before affecting your sub. Make sure to start slow and eventually intensify, always asking your sub if they’re okay in the first place. Be careful with your sub’s pain threshold: since you don’t have direct perception of how much you’re hurting them, try to increase force and pattern a bit at a time.” Lace explained.
Princess felt sure about the directions. Common sense and the guide told her the same things, which reassured her about the fact that she would remember all the complicated passages. Sure, it would be easier to have an actual practical exercise.
But for now she would make do.
“You ready for the next?”
“Yes.” Vixen replied.
Lace tutted. “The question was not meant for you, menace.” She said, reprimanding a grinning Vixen.
Princess cackled. “Sure.”
Lace picked up another object from her bag. “Here we have a paddle. It can have different shapes and textures. Some contain small indentations, or even spikes. The main features are the handle.” She showed the part. “And a flat surface, used to hit the sub. In terms of tenacity and resistance, mine has a hardwood interior covered in a leather exterior. Oh, and it’s branded.” She showed a red leather heart sewn onto the black leather cover. “It leaves a mark.” Lace smiled cutely. “Best used on wide, fleshy surfaces. Questions?”
Princess shook her head. “Oh, yeah. How much is it?”
Lace twisted the object in her hands. “A good one is around thirty five thousand won or so. If you want something that lasts and that is actually covered in true leather, the price might be higher. I could recommend a shop that sells excellent gear.”
“Thank you. Also, you said it comes in different shapes.”
“Yes. A dom in my dungeon has a pretty extravagant one in a cherry shape.”
“With a double sting?” Vixen asks, eyes almost glittering.
“Yup.”
“Amazing. I had spotted it once but I never bought it. Maybe I’ll have it commissioned.” She mused.
“Joon would?” Lace asked, eyebrows raised.
Vixen shrugged. “I just need to be good — or bad — enough.”
“See, darling, this is a brat.” Lace addressed Princess, pointing at the other girl in the room. “Their anatomy is five percent manners, five percent playfulness and ninety percent utterly smart evil.”
Vixen smiled before cocking her head to the side prettily. “Yes, that’s me.”
Princess bit her lip and smiled. Vixen was a lot more interesting than she thought. All those cute manners and polished looks could not entirely shade the dark magnetism of her eyes. She would pay good money to see what ruckus she could cause with Namjoon in the bedroom. And it would be even more interesting to see what poised, calm Lace could do to teach her how to behave.
Lace put her paddle down before fishing something else from inside her bag. “For tonight let’s cover only the basics. I’ll keep more lowkey devices for another time. Or maybe I could show you what I have and you ask me about what looks interesting to you.”
Princess nodded. “That would be lovely. Plus I’m sure you’ll have to get back to Joon since he’ll want to see you before they leave tomorrow.” Princess asked Vixen.
“I don’t know if I’ll see him— oh, that one looks lovely!” She said, looking at a riding crop from Lace’s collection and distracting herself with it. “Yeah, I told him he should stay at the dorms and rest. His week has been hectic with all the briefings for the press conferences and tv shows.” Vixen explained as she picked up the crop, studying the red, heart-shaped bit.
“Yeah, I figure. Jimin and I are meeting for an early breakfast tomorrow, before they leave.” Princess explained.
Vixen’s fleeting gaze moved away. She seemed visibly unsettled. Still, her mood changed once more as she collected Lace’s paddle from the coffee table, the other woman not even noticing one of her devices had attracted Vixen’s attention.
Vixen rolled it in her palm a couple times, shifting it to feel the weight distribution and the texture.
Princess looked at how she studied the object, carefully taking in every detail. Vixen’s perfectionism showed in that exact moment, in the undisturbed, slow way she felt every ridge and stitch with her fingers. If she could think of an adjective it was ‘thorough’, in the first place. ‘Sensual’ in the second.
Raising an eyebrow and biting her lip, Vixen opened her free hand, lifted the paddle and delivered a heavy thwack.
A shiver ran down Princess’s spine. She could almost feel how Jimin would moan after a smack like that.
Lace turned around, looking at Vixen. “Like it?”
Vixen simply nodded with a wicked smile. “Do you know what wood it is?”
“Not sure, possibly birch or cherry tree. Soft wood but very elastic.” Lace sat upright as she was done taking out all of her collection.
“And the leather is splinter-proof.” Vixen commented.
Lace hummed in confirmation. “See anything interesting, Princess?”
Princess creased her brow. “What about the riding crop?”
Vixen smiled mischievously as Lace wrapped her palm around the handle, lifting the object. “Here. This is a personal riding crop. It has been commissioned specifically for me. It’s my favourite and somehow my brand.” She smiled fondly as she studied it. “However, I would say one should never grow fond of a vulnerable thing such as a riding crop. They break fairly easily. Anyway — the general traits of a riding crop are the shaft, the handle and the tip. In terms of length, I normally recommend minimum sixty centimeters, to increase flexibility and impact strength. The shaft should be elastic, but not too much or it loses impact strength and a submissive usually doesn’t want the whoosh without the smash.”
Vixen giggled at her side.
“What is that?” Princess asked, frowning.
Opening her palm, Lace calculated the distance and whipped the leather bit hard against the soft flesh at the base of the thumb. Princess clearly recognised the sound of air whistling before she hit her skin with a thin clap. “That’s what I meant.”
Princess nodded with eager eyes, keeping an amused silence.
“Fiberglass is a good material for beginners. If you’re buying one in person — which I recommend for the first time — make sure that it can make a forty-five degree angle when you bend the tip towards the handle. A forty to fifty degrees with a fair amount of resistance means it’s flexible enough, just make sure that it’s not too close to the breaking point. The handle is normally made of leather or very good rubber to improve the grip. Some cheap riding crops — also, the ones not intended for BDSM purposes — come with a strap to slip your wrist into. I recommend you don’t use the strap or that you remove it completely because first, you shouldn’t need it and second, you should avoid everything that keeps you from interrupting the scene and comforting your sub as quickly as possible. Sometimes even a couple seconds can be very important when it comes to subdrop. Remember this at all time, in all scenes. Remove everything that could keep you from helping your sub.”
“Okay. But if my riding crop falls?”
Lace smiled darkly. “Trust me dear, you’ll hold on to that as if it were the sceptre of England.” Princess laughed. “And if it falls, it’s usually a sign of poor mastering of your tools. Train yourself. You can use a dense pillow to learn the variety of strokes that a crop can deliver. It can be used for sensation play, simply rubbing your sub’s skin, caressing it, spending some time to arouse them before the whipping starts—”
Vixen purred at that.
Princess thought of Jimin biting his plump lips, eyelids fluttering at the gentle touch of the leather tickling his body.
“Are you with me?” Lace called for Princess’ attention, an amused grin on her face. Lace almost wanted to congratulate her for staying focused for so long.
“Yeah, just — thinking.”
Lace exhaled and wore a grin on her face. “I get that. Let me just finish this and we can take a pause. The tip is the important part of the crop. Mine has a fancy, heart-shaped tip, however, the best standard ones have triangular or rectangular tips that are a couple fingers wide on the very tip and restrict around the head of the stick.”
“Sounds nice.” Princess said.
“It is.” Vixen mused. “As Lace said, riding crops aren’t excessively difficult to use, if one has the patience to learn the basics and take some time to experiment. They can offer plenty of freedom to the dom in terms of use since they can be incredibly harsh, but also extremely light and gentle. You can use them on most spanking areas: breasts and nipples, feet, thighs, ass, shoulders and genitals, both male and female. Also the face, if you’re being light-handed enough.”
“Jesus, you’re wicked.” Lace snickered.
Vixen shrugged. “Says you.”
Princess looked at the exchange quite amused. “Okay. I think I got it. Oh, isn’t that a flogger?”
“Yes, it is. But that is for your sophomore lessons. For now, let’s stick to the beginner deals.” Lace said, slowing down Princess’ enthusiasm.
“Oh.” The other answered, taken aback.
“The bigger the toy, the more difficult it is to use it. Floggers, also called multi-tailed whips, are unpredictable because the whips are really flexible, usually made of leather, and very light. You must have excellent wrist flexibility and great spatial awareness. Once you can use your crop with your eyes closed, then you can consider learning the basics of flogging.”
“Okay. I assume canes and that fancy thing over there are off-limit too.” Princess noticed.
“Isn’t that a cat-o-nine-tales?” Vixen said, wide eyed. “It’s been years since I last saw one. Since my training.” Vixen shivered. “He had silver studs on the tips.”
“Did he ever use it on you?” Lace asked, very serious.
“Once. I didn’t speak to him for a week afterwards.” Vixen said, gaze empty. “I’ve never seen one like that in my life, though. Are those flowers?”
“Yes.They have a silver bead in the middle with some petals around it. The effect is very unusual, or so I’ve been told.” Lace answered with a chuckle. “It was a gift from one of my students. Lovely girl. Kinkier than hell.” Lace smiled and took the toy. “See. Those are meant to hurt. Mark or scar even, in some cases.” She showed the appendage to Princess.
“I don’t like that.” She replied with tiny hesitance.
“The cane is also a vicious one.” Lace suggested.
“The first time I safeworded was with a cane.” Vixen said with a meditative smile. “It hurts like hell. Normally I can take around forty to fifty spanks. I couldn’t handle ten with a cane.”
“I don’t think I like that either. My favourite so far are the paddle and the riding crop. I think Jimin likes the paddle, or at least the idea of it. The riding crop is… for personal reasons.”
“Excellent choice.” Lace grabbed a glass of water and drank, easing her mouth and throat after all the talking. “A riding crop can really gratify a dom at their first experience. You can study it, if you want to.” Lace encouraged Princess to hold the toy and look at it from up close.
Princess thanked her before lifting the crop from the table. “It’s very light.”
“Indeed. It’s a lot lighter than a paddle, that’s why it’s a personal favourite to most female doms. Plus it can be used to praise and to punish, making it a tool of great versatility.”
Princess studied the handle, with a thick leather band wrapped around the stick to grant a good grip. Lace, previously standing, bent down behind Princess. “The leather has been treated so to reduce any slipping.” She corrected Princess’ grip around the handle, placing her hand wrapped tight around it and fixing her thumb. “Like this.” Next, she placed the tip on the flat of the opposite hand. “Always make sure that there are no loose stitches here. Make sure that the spot where the tip meets the stick isn’t rough or hard or juts out in a way that could cut the skin.” She fingered the spot, tracing it. “Also remember to check the flexibility, see?” Lace made Princess’ fingers wrap around that spot, making her push it towards the butt of the handle. The sensation was extremely elastic, with a bit of give still, but far more resistance. “That is good elasticity for a versatile crop. Try it on your forearm.” She suggested, pushing Princess’ shirt upwards.
A bit hesitant, Princess lifted her dominant arm up. Lace corrected her stance, repositioning her elbow. “You only need to do a slight rotation of your forearm for now. Keep your elbow still and smack your forearm down, like you were arm wrestling but with more snap.”
Princess nodded, her eyes closing before she let her arm snap. First she heard the ‘whoosh’ of the stick cut through the air, and then the snapping sound, like a dry cracking.
“Good one. Did it hurt?”
Princess tutted. “Not too bad. The bite was pleasing.”
The sound awakened Vixen from her trance. She had been staring at the paddle for a few minutes, thinking.
“Try using it feather-light now. Like it was a make-up brush on your skin.” Lace placed the tip of the crop on Princess skin with the lightest pressure, the touch so soft that the tip didn’t even bend a little to accommodate the skin. It was simply lingering, grazing.
“I really like it. I think I’d love to own one.” Princess said enthusiastically. “Would you come with me if I go buy one?” She looked up to her friend.
“Yes, sure. You have my number, we can arrange someday this week, or whenever you like it.” Lace smiled genuinely. Her cheeks puffed up in round apples.
“I think you should check on Vixen.” She whispered.
The girl was being too quiet. It meant she was thinking. Overthinking, if Lace knew her friend well.
“Are you okay?” Lace moved towards Vixen, looking at her vacant stare, her skittish mood and the insecure nibbling on her lower lip.
“Yeah, I was just thinking...” Vixen replied, still unfocused from her surroundings. “I don’t know if Princess is okay with this. It’s her home, after all.”
“What is it?” Asked the other one, immediately alarmed.
“Would it be awkward if we tried a small simulation? Not a scene, just an exercise. For practice.” Vixen proposed. “If you’re all okay with it.”
Lace studied Vixen’s expression. “What about Namjoon?”
“I could ask him. I think he’s awake, I’ll text him. Ask him if it’s okay with him. This is nothing sexual. It’s just for learning purposes.” Vixen shrugged.
A part of Princess’ brain was already seeing it happen, her throat bobbing as she swallowed. “If it’s not too much of a bother, I think it would be really helpful to me if you and Lace tried. I don’t think I want to do it myself, but I’d like to watch.” She admitted.
“Are you in the right mindset to do this, sweetie?” Lace asked. “You’ve been on mood swings the whole night. Are you sure?” Lace asked, seriously concerned.
“Yes, I’m sure. Trust me,” Vixen said, reassuring her friend with a kind smile. “I just need to ask Joon.”
Lace thought about it. Doing such a thing with Vixen of course could be extremely helpful to Princess, showing her how a scene worked, however Vixen’s mood swings suggested that she was looking for reassurance, that she was hoping someone would literally spank her negative thoughts out of her. She probably wanted Namjoon instead of Lace, but maybe this mechanism of simulation and education was what she needed to rein in her insecurities. Vixen was a smart woman, extremely aware of her emotions and the mechanisms to handle them. Lace decided. “Okay. Call him.”
“Let me grab my purse, then.” Vixen stood up and reached for her phone at the dining table. “Thank you”, she said to Lace before unlocking her phone and finding Namjoon’s number on her shortcuts.
“Put it on speaker.” Lace told her.
The three women waited expectantly as the ringing echoed through the small room — Lace with cold ice settling in her veins, Princess with ebullient anticipation and curiosity, Vixen with a certain emptiness in her gaze, her free hand toying with the small pendant laying between her collarbones while she rubbed the flat of her upper chest.
The ringing stopped, followed by a couple seconds of silence.
“Hello?”
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Part two here
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protectwoc · 4 years
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thots on little women (2019)
or, y’all are giving greta gerwig too much credit (part two)
The character arc that was changed the least from the source material, but that still manages to personally offend me the most, is, of course, Amy’s. It’s no secret that Gerwig is an Amy stan, or at least more of a fan of her than most people. I am as well, which is why I am so disappointed with this particular arc.
It’s honestly more disappointing because Gerwig handled parts of Amy’s arc extremely well, namely, her relationship with Laurie. Gerwig did an excellent job of making Amy and Laurie’s relationship feel less like a consolation prize since Laurie did not end up marrying Jo and more like a fully realized and reciprocal relationship, arguably more so than Alcott herself. HOWEVER, and this is a big however, the Amy/Laurie relationship is not the only important part of Amy’s characterization in the novel, and unfortunately, it is in the movie.
Amy starts out the novel as a selfish twelve year old girl, which is evidenced in no other but the infamous book-burning scene. However, throughout the novel, she grows out of that selfishness and into a more selfless, self aware woman. (Again, whatever your thoughts on “learning to be selfless” as a trope in women’s narratives are not necessarily relevant.)
For example, in the first half of the novel, one of Amy’s most notable chapters deals with pickled limes. For anyone who only watched the movie or doesn’t quite remember the book, a short summary:
Amy, the only one of the March girls who attends school, is upset because the girls in her school have been trading pickled limes. The limes are seen as a status symbol, which can be traded for little trinkets, bestowed upon favorites, or indulged in in front of your enemies. The pickled limes trend has become so popular that the teacher, Mr. Davis, has banned them in the classroom, which has done nothing to curb their popularity. Amy, who is relatively popular among her classmates regardless of her relatively lower class status, has been gifted several limes but had no way to return them, is greatly “in debt.” When Meg gives Amy enough money to buy a whopping twenty-five pickled limes, she flaunts and preens her way around the classroom until a girl she snubbed tattles to the teacher and gets all twenty five limes taken away.
This scene is a good example of the beginning of Amy’s arc of overcoming her one major personality flaw. It shows how her selfish nature is really just immature behavior, and as she ages, she matures out of that childishness. Another good example of this arc happens when Beth contracts scarlet fever. At first, she complains, saying that she would rather contract the deadly disease than to go to her Aunt’s house, but as she remains there, we see her mature and even grow fond of Aunt March. Her personal arc independent of Laurie was a big part of Amy’s plotline, and it was unfortunately left out of the movie.
The most glaring example of this is the omission of one of the most important scenes of Amy’s arc in the book: the occurrences at the fair. Again, indulge me in a brief summary for those who won’t know exactly what I am talking about:
The mother of one of Amy’s friends, Mrs. Chester, holds a three day fair for all of the girls in Amy’s social circle. As Amy is the most talented and most well-liked of the girls, she has the best table at the fair, at the very front, where she is to sell her beautiful artistic creations. However, her friend, May Chester, is jealous of her, and seeing this, Ms. Chester takes the table from Amy and gives it to May, relegating Amy to the back corner to sell flowers. At first, Amy is incredibly upset, and takes all of her art back to the table with her, however, after talking with her family, who are properly indignant on her behalf, she resolves to be gracious and humble and gives her own drawings to May to sell. Seeing this, Jo tells Laurie to take all of his handsome, college-aged bachelor friends to Amy’s table, which he does, and they spend the entire next day of the fair flirting with her and buying every one of the flowers from Amy. On the final day of the fair Amy, who has entirely overcome her own selfish wishes, tells Laurie and his friends to go do the same to May. This string of selfless acts is seen by Aunt March and Aunt Carrol (who in the novel has half of Aunt March’s role in the movie) and is the premier reason behind Aunt Carrol deciding to take Amy to Europe instead of Jo.
Leaving this scene out of Amy’s narrative in the movie is, I think, unforgivable. The inclusion of this scene would have exponentially improved Amy’s arc, for three major reasons:
This scene is the culmination of Amy’s “selfish to selfless arc”. Again, regardless of your opinions on whether this is a good lesson for her to learn, it is an arc, and as the movie stands currently, she simply doesn’t have one. The occurrences at the fair show her finally growing out of her childhood vices into the mature woman we see in Europe, and to exclude this scene does her a disservice.
Prior to her trip to Europe, this is one of the only scenes in the novel where Laurie and Amy have any sort of interaction. If Gerwig wanted to more fully develop the Amy/Laurie romance I cannot imagine the logic behind leaving this scene out. It would make the romance seem less rushed, which has been a common critique of their love story since the book came out, and would even  provide context for Amy’s “Not when I have spent my entire life loving you” line which Gerwig added to the narrative.
As previously mentioned, this scene is one of the main reasons behind Amy being allowed to travel to Europe with Aunt March/Aunt Carrol. Within the movie, this reasoning is less obvious, especially given the fact that Aunt March had already told Jo she would take her to Europe, and the inclusion of this scene would have made the trip feel more earned for Amy.
Greta Gerwig has made no secret of the fact that she both a feminist and a fan of Amy March. I am both of those things as well, which is why I cannot understand her logic behind robbing Amy of a complete arc. In the movie, the most important parts of Amy’s arc are all tied to a man. Even that arc is not as fully developed as it could be. Gerwig did a magnificent job with Amy’s overall likability, but that is not the same thing as writing a fully realized arc for her.
But even though Amy is my personal favorite character, and I am more personally invested in her arc, Gerwig’s mishandling of Amy is not the most egregious sin committed in this movie. That honor is reserved for Jo’s arc.
Part Two: Jo
A Buzzfeed article entitled “The New ‘Little Women’ Makes Space for Jo’s Queerness” claims that “Gerwig’s adaptation, without being too explicit about it, does gorgeous justice to that [queer] reading.” An Advocate magazine article called “Greta Gerwig Brings Out the Inherent Queerness of Little Women” makes the bold claim that the 2019 Little Women “offers the queerest and most feminist reading yet.” An even bolder declaration by them magazine says that “The New Little Women Basically Proves Jo is Queer”. Gerwig has been lauded both by critics and by her own actors for creating an explicitly queer narrative for Jo March. 
As previously mentioned, I do not generally read Alcott’s Jo as queer. However, upon my first encounter with this headcanon, I could immediately see why so many people did see her this way, and why this interpretation is so beloved. Jo has a lot of non-stereotypically straight traits that have made her something of a queer icon in many progressive literary circles. Both the way she bemoans being “born a woman” and her intense desire not to marry spoke to a lot of queer or non-cis readers, many of whom were excited to see her portrayed this way on the silver screen. And though I am not particularly attached to this headcanon, as a bi woman, I too was excited to see her that way.
And then… I didn’t.
Look, I hate to burst y’alls bubble, but there is literally not a single second in the movie where Jo is anything resembling queer. At best, she could be read as aromantic/asexual, but that’s about it. (Note: Obviously I don’t intend to imply that being aro/ace is somehow “lesser than” being L G B or T, but obviously the form of queerness people were expecting is one in which Jo is explicitly attracted to women.) There are no subtle looks in the direction of another woman, no scenes in which Jo expresses any negative emotion towards the idea of marrying a man specifically. She doesn’t even have a single female friend outside of her sisters.
One of the reasons the 2019 Jo (and by extension, Laurie), have been hailed as queer icons is their relative gender fluidity. Jo and Laurie exchange clothes throughout the movie, which was intended to display their “gender fluidity”. I knew about this particular facet of the movie before going to watch it in theaters, so I was looking for these occasions specifically, and I still couldn’t tell that they were supposed to be gender neutral. Maybe that’s just me, because I don’t know a lot about civil war era clothing, but whatever.
The other reason that Jo is considered queer in the movie is her rejection of traditional Civil War era femininity. She doesn’t want to get married, and she has no interest in “girly” things like dresses or parties. But neither of those things are specifically queer. Being “not like other girls” as your premier personality trait is not queer, it’s just garden-variety misogyny.
Even Jo’s big scene where she laments her competing desire to stay unmarried and her intense loneliness, has nothing marking it as explicitly queer. “I’m so sick of people saying that love is just all a woman is fit for,” she bursts out. Love. Not love for a man. Not even marriage. She is decrying the entire concept of love.
“But Rae,” I can hear you asking, “what about the ending, where it’s implied she doesn’t marry Professor Bhaer and gets to publish her novel?” To that, there are two important things to consider. One: the ending is intentionally portrayed as optional. Even though it is heavily implied that Jo did not go off and get heterosexual married at the end, it is possible to ignore that ending or do some light mental gymnastics to make the two versions of Jo’s ending coincide. And I’m not just saying this as a worst-case-scenario, I actually have seen people do this, in fandom and my own life.
Secondly, even if you take the ending as completely factual, we still have all the scenes involving Bhaer previous to the ending to give some hint of Jo’s sexuality. We never see her even look at another woman, but she flirts with Bhaer and blushes when he looks at her and asks for his opinion on her work. Even ignoring the straight-as-default setting of most casual viewers, canonically, Jo has only ever shown interest in men. One man specifically, but still.
“But she could still be bi/pansexual, or suffering from compulsory heterosexuality,” I hear. And this is basically the crux of my argument. In fandom, you don’t have to assume straight as the default, and it's probably better not to. Bi/pan headcanons for “straight” characters are a good, positive way of adding to a fandom culture. However, when it comes to canonical representation, the opposite is true. Representation is not representation if it is not explicit.
I’m not saying that queer viewers cannot feel represented by Jo in this movie. I personally  feel represented by Hermoine Granger as a black woman, due to her “wild, bushy hair” and her penchant for social activism (SPEW). However, I cannot give JK Rowling credit for that representation because she had nothing to do with it. She did not do any of the hard work to actually make Hermoine a black woman. In the same way, we cannot credit Gerwig with adding queer representation to Little Women, because she didn’t.
Conclusion: The Response
I know reading this essay probably makes me seem like a Greta Gerwig-hater or like I disliked the movie. Both of those things are untrue. As previously mentioned, I loved the movie. I’ve watched the Amy/Laurie scenes of the movie like a hundred times already. I also don’t hate Greta Gerwig. This is the only movie of hers that I’ve seen, but I heard all about Lady Bird and its popularity, and I think the directing of Little Women was excellent. The fact that Greta Gerwig is a very talented filmmaker is not necessarily an arguable point.
I don’t believe that Gerwig had to fully develop any of the sisters. I don’t even think that Gerwig is required to add queer representation (or racial diversity for that matter) to her movies. Greta Gerwig decided to adapt an extremely white, cishet Civil War era book into an extremely white, cishet Civil War era movie. Hot take time: she is entirely in her rights to do that.
BUT. The thing that bugs me the most about the movie, and is basically the impetus behind me writing this essay, is the response to the movie. For whatever reason, Gerwig’s Little Women adaptation has been deemed more “woke” than it actually is. Little Women (2019) has been lauded for its strong female presence (even though there are only white, cis, straight women), for it’s development of the other, non-Jo sisters (even though it doesn’t), and for giving its lead space to be queer (even though she isn’t).
Greta Gerwig made an excellent film, but she did not do anything that has never been done before. I liked the movie, but I’m not about to go campaign for Greta Gerwig or the movie to win an Oscar. In general, we need to be less willing to acclaim those who do the bare minimum.
Again, I’m not good at writing conclusions. At a certain point I’m going to just start repeating myself, so I’m going to go ahead and cut myself off now. Again, if anybody has any opinions on this, agree or disagree, please come talk to me about it! I’d love to hear any other thoughts.
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candyclan · 5 years
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My HONEST opinion of Kalvin Garrah
Kalvin talks about how the reaction videos he does are purely based off his opinions and they aren’t meant to actually hurt people. While I feel like yes, that may not be his intent, he takes information from what he thinks he knows about them from what they say and draws wrongful conclusions. He applies the logic “well if you were really trans, you’d do XYZ” which is honestly not okay. Just because he feels like “he’s protecting the trans community” doesn’t give him the right to invalidate people he’s never even seen or talked to irl. That being said, I do think he is correct that there are people who do not experience dysphoria and therefore do not have a legitimate reason to transition (physically) who do, and realize it’s a mistake (that’s why there’s detransition videos out there). This is tragic, and honestly, could very well reflect badly on our community because of how conservatives may take it.
Kalvin promotes the idea that seeing a psychologist is SO important before physically transitioning and altering your body in PERMANENT ways. He also promotes that before settling on “Yup I’m trans” you should rule out every other possible explanation for issues with your body: like body dysmorphia or an eating disorder etc. I feel as if he has contempt for people who are identifying as transgender and don’t actively try to alleviate their dysphoria. I agree with a lot of people who are fairly neutral on this topic that there isn’t a really clear cut defined definition of what dysphoria feels like other than “discomfort” toward gendered aspects of what you were assigned at birth. For Kalvin because his dysphoria is so strong, he uses it as an identifier of his trans identity and an UN-identifier for others. Just because he experiences an extreme does not mean every trans person experiences that extreme as well, and it could be a manageable discomfort, almost like a paper cut (while still uncomfortable, and totally legitimate) compared to a bullet wound in his case.
Because dysphoria is so subjective, it isn’t fair to label someone as a “transtrender” just entirely and solely on how someone looks on the outside. They may have a higher sense of self-esteem than Kalvin did because of how heavily his dysphoria affects him. This may mean that while they identify genuinely as being trans and probably do actually experience dysphoria (even minor) they choose their preferred gender expression over the idea of “passing”. I understand this because I actually have some really stereotypical “feminine clothes” that actually cause me dysphoria to wear but I wear them anyway cause fuck people. The reason I have such a soft heart towards him is because he and I have a shit ton of things in common and also I watched him cry on his YouTube channel. Legit sob. I see his human in all of this. I see his flawed thinking, and his less than perfect expectations of “gender presentation” as a reflection of his own internal monologue “well I can’t wear this because it makes me look girly”
While I have those thoughts too, a LOT, I never project them on to people the way he does in the videos he makes of the “transtrenders” <—- the reason I put this in quotes is because I hate that word (and he admits he hates it too) there should be a nicer way of politely saying you used to identify as trans or thought you were, but actually aren’t. “Transtrenders” has such a negative base to it because it implies the individuals gender identity is illegitimate and perhaps a phase. While I actually do think there are people who may be confused and do mistakenly identify as being transgender, we should never imply another person is this because that’s FUCKED UP. ESPECIALLY IF YOU DONT PERSONALLY KNOW THAT PERSON TO A HEAVY EXTENT. Claiming, like Kalvin does, to have the “criteria to know if someone else is trans” is fucking bullshit. He makes a good point about it being in our brains and there ARE actually studies that prove that is a legitimate thing, he pushes so hard for it to be seen as a mental health issue so “Real Trans People™️” can be provided healthcare. He has correlated it to a mental health issue, and while I personally think: “Idgaf what it’s called just let me have it covered through insurance.” The fact that you would never in a million years tell someone they aren’t depressed/have anxiety because their symptoms aren’t as bad as yours or they don’t experience it the same way, that’s literally what he’s doing to trans people AND IT is FUCKED.
All of that aside, I didn’t know what being a transmed really was until I saw his videos. I didn’t have any real idea how little sense it made that if you don’t have dysphoria...how can you be trans? I hate how there’s such a stigma on the internet about how dysphoria is rooted in EXTREME MEGA DISCOMFORT when in reality, I can safely say in complete confidence that I didn’t have that huge issue like he did. I have top dysphoria but not so much bottom (unless I’m on shark week and then wellllll....death 0.0) ITS okay to not “hate” what you were given, and be in a better mind space about it than other people because WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT and experience dysphoria in different ways and we are all valid as fuck. I feel as if because so many people can experience body dysphoria and social dysphoria in so many ways literally in as many ways as there are people, in order for it to be considered a mental health issue and be covered by insurance there’s this push to try to come up with what dysphoria ISNT instead of the variety of experiences that is gender dysphoria.
So, in general, my thing is, only the individual can really tell (just like in depression and anxiety) whether or not they’re dysphoric based off their own feelings they have toward their AGAB and how it affects them. It’s almost as if he’s just like every other asshole out there that thinks their opinion matters because they’ve gone through SO MANY STEPS to be trans. His transtrender videos really are demonetized, and he claims to not do it for clickbait or shock factor to get people to watch it and that it’s his raw, unfiltered opinion about an issue he actually genuinely does care about a lot. I personally think the videos need to be taken down because it makes him look so much worse than he really is, and honestly what if the person that he’s talking about in those videos actually was trans and they killed themselves because of the hate his supporters dished. Showing their channel and saying that they don’t have dysphoria (in Kalvin’s eyes) labels them a target to abuse from the people that support Kalvin, whether or not that is his intent. I understand why this could upset someone. This upsets me. I feel a personal connection to someone that is using legitimate facts and points to validate his conclusion that some are worthy (that fit his personal idea of what being trans is) and some aren’t (those that don’t) this being said: That is not all that he is, I promise you. I believe “transtrender” is a thing dear god I’m highly uncomfortable with that word but there isn’t another one to use. I would never LABEL someone a transtrender under any circumstances because to do so would be honestly disrespectful to that persons identity and honestly denying their right to explore who they are. So what if you think you’re trans and then realize later that you weren’t??? As long as you didn’t medically transition, you literally didn’t do anything but explore who you are. It is never okay in my mind to label someone as that, especially if you don’t personally believe in how the person chooses to identify because like I said there’s as many ways to experience dysphoria and a disconnect towards your AGAB as there are people. It comes in different severities and different people prioritize change towards specific parts moreso than others.
That being said if you know you are 1000000% comfortable with your assigned gender at birth (not just learned to tolerate certain things/choose to accept the hand you’re dealt or live with it like me and my vag- how some trans people can), why would identify as being transgender? It’s when this “choice to go with the hand your dealt thing” really gets to Kalvin because he can’t imagine is transition being without the whole kitten kaboodle. Is perception of his gender honestly is a huge reason he can’t see why non-binary AFAB people could ever learn to embrace/tolerate certain aspects of their body. I don’t think he fully understands that binary gender roles that may moreso apply to TRANSGUYS don’t apply to non-binary people.
Non-binary people literally do not identify with one gender binary over another, so Kalvin has a hard time understanding them. It is important to note however, he still respects people even if he doesn’t understand. If he didn’t respect non-binary people as a whole, he would be preaching about how “non-binary isn’t even a thing” because he tends to NEED to think in logical terms with facts and data like the similar brain thing (mtf brains=more like cis female ftm=more like cis males) it becomes hard for him to understand the struggles of non-binary people. Non-binary people don’t fit his “mold” so to speak. Perhaps it’s because he once was a “non-binary SJW” in the past and then pulled a 180 and turned into this literal person that tells other people they aren’t trans even though he’s never met them irl and knows next to nothing about them. It’s funny how he claims that detransitioners turn into TERFS when his transition, which was supposed to help his mental state (perhaps it did idk), had him go from non-binary to low key for all intents and purposes a gatekeeper. He from his perspective claims to know it all because he’s trans. Consider this analogy: being transgender is like trauma. People can be united in that they suffer from it or that it affects them, but everyone’s situation is unique amongst all others so everyone has different “triggers”. I’m sorry if this analogy offended you it’s just I was trying to make sense of it the best I could in my mind
@kalvingarrah
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kamiporterbridges · 5 years
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Notes on being genderfluid
In a both personal and out-of-order way
When that guy from Queer Eye came out and said his pronouns were he/him and she/her was so important to me. I don't even watch Queer Eye.
I wish terfs hadn't put their filthy hands in useful terms like "socialization". It describes my experience with gender so well but now it's tainted.
When I was a child my mother tried so hard to make me "more girly". I used to wear dresses a lot. I hated them for years. I still violently hate pink.
I remember buying my first bra was a tragedy. I loved being a genderless blob who could fist fight and do a jumping start for a chest bump. I still get in fist fights.
My period makes me feel dysphoric and grumpy. I won't even use all this stuff.
I recently realized I don't see pregnancy as something desirable. I can't understand people who wish to get pregnant. It's a foreign concept for me.
I use she/her a lot because Spanish is a very gendered languaje and it also feels right for me most of the time. I do a lot of gendered stuff tbh. But sometimes I refer to myself in neutral or masculine ways. Sometimes I refer to my cis bf and me as "nosotros" (masculine form of "us" in Spanish). He's cool with it and doesn't correct me. In fact, he has picked it up.
Once my mom and dad kept correcting me when I said I wanted to work "as a barman" because I was gonna be a barWOMAN and people who employed me were going to CARE about the LANGUAJE I was USING and that's extremely not okay please don't ever do that.
I'm not out to my family. They barely get what being bisexual means. And I don't want to explain.
Still, I do small stuff. I buy clothes from the men's section at clothing stores. I wear heavy makeup. I manneuver myself in life in a way that feels according to the gender I feel like at the moment. Sometimes it's more masculine, even cacked in makeup. Sometimes is more feminine, even in combat boots and a hoodie. And that's okay.
This is how I do genderfluidity. People have many ways of doing it. They're all valid.
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gg-astrology · 6 years
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Based off of jungkook’s chart, what physical attributes would attract him? I’ve read that he would really like feminine/girly girls bc of his libra venus and rising. Is that true?
Hey there! 💕 Thanks for the ask! 💕
Ahh, personally, unless it came from the artist themselves (and is accurate since some don’t remember their exact time), I don’t usually use rising signs for idol reading since it’s unconfirmed. So for this, I’m going to use his inner placements (Virgo Sun | Leo Moon | Virgo Mercury | Libra Venus | Scorpio Mars ) without the rising, ok? 
Also, I’m going to interpret this as the physical attribute he would be drawn to for romantic candidates, not just for sexual relationships. 
Note: This is just my interpretation of his chart. It’s not a definite telling of what he likes, every interpretation is different so you can choose what you think fits most! 
[Below cut: JK’s: Ideal Attractive Physical Attributes (+ placements)]
I outlined this already, but the mind matters more for JK. So basing this on the last few paragraphs of  JK: Ideal type , I think in terms of detailing the physical attributes he’d be attracted to: it would come down to core strength and consistency ( the kind of beauty that means someone is trying to take care of themselves whether they have time to or not)
You know like, people who exude more Virgo-healer/care-giver type vibe? Not the self-deprecation, not the stressfulness of the Virgo. But someone who embodies what Virgo is, at it’s best. The what could-be’s of actual Virgo in full developed stages. That’s something inspirational for him to draw from. So someone who might have a lot of Capricorn/Taurus in their chart who exhibits the ‘absent’ Virgo because of their overall placements might have that. 
(It’s because his Virgo Sun/Merc | Libra Venus is also kind of half-in love with the idea of someone who takes care of themselves, and is considered healthier than them as well.) 
The ‘busy-bodiness’ of the person appeals to him, it’s the type of fire-sign energy (or Cardinal energy). Someone who’s not afraid to do stuff or instigate something (Leo Moon). But also someone who works well in group settings (Libra Venus) and is a team player. 
It’s mostly to do with his temperament (Leo Moon) being able to keep up with the person’s activities (doesn’t feel drain or dragged) but also admiring them for being proficient in the things he values (social relations and being adequate in them - Virgo Sun/Merc)   
Think about it, JK cares about his team members. So someone who can work with people is important to him. If they share the same values, they have something in common to respect in each other (Virgo Sun-Merc/Leo Moon - respect is important)
Someone who fights passionately for what they believe in (strong Mercury) and isn’t afraid to speak their minds in regards to others. (help others: Leo/Pisces) Someone who might often find themselves fighting for a humanitarian cause (Aquarius) and works hard for their job (Capricorn), but isn’t dismissive to him about it (like, cares about him but also have their own work to do - Sagittarius). 
He respect someone who seems like they’ll put effort into relationships with others/treats others fairly. (Libra) He wants someone who has some grounding placement in them (Virgo) and caring enough to acknowledge him in passing if they meet (Leo).  
He mentioned his ideal ‘height requirement’ before? That’s probably more indicative of his taste, since he says so himself. 
The whole height thing might have more to do with the person not looking like they’re physically weak. Therefore not being helpless when he’s not around to ‘guard’ or ‘protect’ them. Someone with a smaller height might probably appeal to the ‘must protect’ instinct in people. It’s about presence, but also dependability you feel when you’re around someone close to/towers above you. 
If he has to feel like he’s constantly worried about his partner, then it’s not a balanced relationship to him. If his partner is tiny, then he might feel obligated to think he has to take care of them. And when he’s taking care of them, it feels like he doesn’t have the time or freedom to do what he wants/his job/hang out with others. Thus as outlined above, someone caring but independent and a reliability about them. 
He feels like if the other person can take care of themselves, then he won’t have to worry about leaving them alone.  I don’t think he’d actively look for someone of the petite/frail, but someone who looks like they can pull their own weight in places. Presence, in social domain. Someone who’s not to be messed with even if they’re on the smaller side of things. He did say he looks for someone who seems like they’re healthy. Healthy here might be physically and mentally at the same time. (inner and outer strength - core strength) 
It’s not about feminine/girly-girls, if you think about it JK is a bit of a nervous wreck and kind of needs time to open up to someone (girl or otherwise). Someone who kind of acts a certain way and expects him to take initiative? 
That Virgo/Libra wouldn’t make the first move in a million years. His Leo Moon would like the attention sure, the bravado and expectation of playing the gender role of a classical romance is appealing. But the actuality of it with his overall chart? Less likely than you think! 
Personally, he’s way too anxious to approach someone. Especially romantically. Unless he’s caught respect for them on first impression (Virgo Mercury) he’s going to be intensely critical of the person until he’s convinced himself he doesn’t like them. If he does actually like someone (see: admire them for a period of time) he’ll go into observation mode. It’s like a safari with him. He’s fascinated by the lion but he doesn’t want to approach the lion just yet. He has to gather everything (Virgo) before he can make his move.(Libra)  
So the feminine girly-girls? likely idea, but maybe not thought through to applicability. If you look at it from his perspective, what he can do and what he wants to do sometimes doesn’t align. To a Leo Moon, that kind of embarrassment just isn’t going to be worth it for him. (examples: summer package yoonkook introduction, as well as run ep.56 where he gets nervous just saying his poems to his hyungs.) Whether he pursues them in public or private, putting himself out there isn’t going to be his forte.   
So what are the alternatives: 
I think he’d go for more of the next-door-effortlessly-beautiful type? Au natural, but the focus here is more on their hard-working nature. 
Maybe sometimes, the person is consumed by larger things in life that they don’t tend to focus on the vanity side of things (which he can help them balance it out due to Libra Venus). 
The person can forget about their appearance sometimes, but they take care of themselves. The person is consistently healthy, and has a good skin texture because they eat well. (Which his Virgo will place importance on– it’s weird, but it’s a sensory thing as well as a core value thing.)
The person isn’t so self-conscious, but they’re more confident in themselves and their work. Their beauty can be understated, as long as they don’t have extremely-lowered self-esteem issues, or let vanity get to their head. He can help with that (Leo/Libra), but he needs to know the person not using him for it (put in work on their own part, transparency, treats him fairly.) 
The person have to be pure-hearted, in terms of their intensions with him (Virgo/Leo/Libra makes this very clear that it’s important). They have to stay consistent that way throughout the entirety of their relationship (before and after getting together).  
Someone who’s un-intimidating to approach, that he feels can meets him halfway (Libra Venus). Someone who’s kind of laid back and approachable, isn’t perfect and has small imperfections he can help with. Sees things as a collaborative effort on both parties to help each other out. 
Someone who might be more likely to initiate things, he’d want to learn how to be more socially out-going/helpful. While he wants to help them grow as a person as well (whatever they need - Virgo Sun/Mercury ‘serving’). This way, it feels like an effort on both their part (Libra - fairness). There’s some initiation and action they’re both contributing to the relationship (Scorpio Mars) and it’s helping fuel it forward in a way. 
So yeah, someone who doesn’t necessarily have to be a full on feminine/girl-girl. But can just take care of themselves. 
If they can wear jeans/shirt or a simple outfit and still look pretty – he’d be into it. 
So that’s my answer who who I think JK will be attracted to!💕 
Also, as a note going forward. I’m going to try to be as gender-neutral as possible with my ideal type replies. 
The asks will still apply to those of you who goes by ‘she/her’, but please be equally aware that when you describe your ideal type it rarely comes down to just ‘manly men’ or ‘goths only’ either. Everyone’s ideal type is complex and full of spectrum/criteria makes them ideal to them.Simplifying that complexity down to a trope is a disservice to people.
Thanks again for the ask! I hope this answers your question! 💕 
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kingofthewilderwest · 6 years
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Finally watching season 4, is it just me or is it suddenly obvious that they’re being very specific about Gendering Pidge as a girl? It definitely wasn’t this obvious in previous seasons. (I’m only on episode 3)
First, before I start this conversation: for people who may not know or may not be as familiar with me personally, I am non-binary myself. For about the first twenty-two or so years of my life I was referred to exclusively by “she/her/hers” pronouns. So the whole concept of Pidge and her headcanoned non-binariness is something that touches pretty close to my personal life experiences. I just want to make this clear so that people don’t try to dismiss me as trying to wash away non-binary representation… I’m not, I relate hugely to Pidge, I want non-binary characters like none other in fiction, and I’m just saying what I think the writers have intended with Pidge’s character.
So the writers have always typed Pidge as a woman. At least, that’s how she canonically considers herself gender-wise now in the story. I think the reason why it feels that Pidge is suddenly feeling more gender-typed as female is because the moments in which we see her doing more societally female-coded things is in her past when she’s with her family. We didn’t get many family moments in S1-3. The fact we have more flashback scenes with her in S4, and the fact that she reunites with her brother in S4, means we’re going to get more of these female-coded incidences more frequently shown on screen.
Since the first season we’ve seen Pidge demonstrate some things that are coded in our society as female gender expression. One of the prime ways in which she shows female-coded behavior is through fashion. Consider the photograph she carries with her. While Matt is in his uniform, Pidge is dressed with long hair, a headband, and an adorable pink and white dress. Just a year ago, she was voluntarily wearing a pretty darned cute outfit that is societally associated with girls and women.
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The flashbacks in S1E5 “Tears of the Balmera” do just show Pidge in her standard green shirt (how many of us don’t own simple unisex shirts though?). It’s to note she wears her hair in a side-ponytail, which isn’t exactly a societally prototypical male fashion. She’s also upset to cut her hair, muscles in her face notably tightening before she closes the scissors the first time. Pidge is attached to her long, female-coded hair.
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But overall we don’t tend to see Pidge as markedly gender-coded female throughout the first three seasons because she’s not in the environment where the codes she relates to get brought up. Pidge starts VLD disguising as male to avoid suspicion when she enrolls in the Garrison. She wears clothes that she already owns, but intentionally picks the ones that are most gender-neutral and least revealing to her identity. And once we get on the Castle Ship, Pidge isn’t going to wear a lot of cute, girlie clothes when she’s only got that one pair of clothes she was wearing at the Garrison… and some awesome Paladin armor.
Because while it seems that Pidge enjoys wearing some feminine fashions from time-to-time, it’s not like she’s ever been a markedly “girly” personality in most of her interests, be it either here or in the flashbacks. Most of her personal passions are not societally coded as feminine… technology, video games, mathematics. So she doesn’t ring out as very gendery-wendery-feminine to us - we grow up in a societal culture where we might expect a female character to display a few more female coded things. So she gets translated to audiences as feeling more ambiguous…
…even though she herself makes it explicitly clear to the other Paladins: “I’m a girl.” Those are the words she uses. She thinks of herself as female, she tells the Paladins that, and it’s a pressing matter to her - she feels uncomfortable prior to the reveal, uncomfortable that she’s been disguising herself and being dishonest to them. She’s uncomfortable enough that even a common English figure of speech “man up” bothers her when it’s applied to her. Because it’s not who she is!
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Pidge in the Castle of Lions just doesn’t have the proper context whereby we see the moments where she acts the most societally feminine, because the areas in which we see her act the most feminine are things like fashion, which she doesn’t have access to millions of lightyears from Earth.
But yes, even though we haven’t had as much context by which to highlight Pidge’s more feminine coded personal facets, she’s always had those codings in her character, down from the first episode in the first season.
Now S4 has rolled around. We see more flashbacks of Pidge, and with it, new outfits that also read as “feminine” to us. I absolutely love this little number with the leggings… she looks adorable:
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And on top of that, in this very same scene with Matt, she tells him to call her “Katie,” not Pidge. She’s explicitly preferring a name that is for girls and women.
Of course we also get the pink dress again, giving audiences yet again more feelings of feminine coding.
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Then there’s Matt parading around, calling Pidge “sister” constantly, so we get that “rubbed in” more.
This is all family stuff.
I believe that S4 is also one of the first seasons to use “she” pronouns in the actual script. Lots of times, characters have been speaking directly to Pidge, thus calling her “you,” which isn’t gendered, or mentioning her gender-neutral nickname, “Pidge,” instead of a pronoun. BUT. Even then… in the first comic book… which takes place during S1 times… Pidge is called “she” and “her” by her Paladin buddies:
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This means in S1 material alone, Pidge has been called “she,” Pidge has called herself a “girl,” and Pidge has demonstrated some female-coded fashion sense. That’s the exact same material, in fact, as what we get in S4.
S4 just has that material happen a little more often. It feels Pidge is being more gendered as a woman this season mostly because we’re seeing her in the contexts where she’s the most feminine-coded. The flashback scenes with her clothing. The interactions with her brother, who is going to call her “she” and “sister.” It’s not that the writers are pulling out a harder “Pidge is a woman” card… there’s nothing new that they’ve introduced this season than they have shown in the past. Nothing new at all. We’re just in the context where we see the feminine side of Pidge a bit more frequently in 4.
I’ve personally never read Pidge as canonically non-binary. I’ve read her as “she has the potential to develop and realize she’s non-binary later” and “she is pleasantly easy to headcanon as non-binary.” But I do think that throughout the franchise, there has been nothing explicit to target her as non-binary. Please continue to read her how you read her, but this is my respectful perspective.
It’s sort of ironic in that people headcanon Pidge as non-binary largely in part because they use the same societal expectations of gender-coding that so many people across the same community are trying to destroy. Many people talk about how X shouldn’t be exclusive to women, but should be acceptable to all humans… but I do suspect lots of the reason so many people attach to Pidge as a potential non-binary representative is because she doesn’t scream those X gender-coded things. Gender expression isn’t the same as gender identity, so just because Pidge expresses herself in a certain way doesn’t mean she is one type of gender or another. I dress extremely feminine at times. Doesn’t make me a woman. Pidge has what society feels are gender-neutral interests. Doesn’t mean she’s not a woman.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with a non-binary gender headcanon, and in fact those non-binary headcanons make me smile because it’s the feeling of people recognizing my own gender, my own identity. The headcanons resonate with me, too. I like them. Please, feel free to keep with your headcanons! There’s nothing wrong with them!
And there’s nothing saying the writers couldn’t develop Pidge canonically to reveal herself as non-binary! It’s totally feasible. Just because she liked long hair doesn’t mean anything about her actual identity, etc. etc. etc. Furthermore, I didn’t fully understand what it was to be non-binary until adulthood, where I discovered an identity that was always what I had felt about myself on the inside. Pidge could find that, too. This is something that often occurs later in life, so there’s certainly still time for that development to happen in a fifteen-year-old.
And if the writers ever did announce Pidge as canonically non-binary, you would bet I would stop the video, pump my fists in the air, and start screaming wildly “YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!” Because non-binary representation is beautiful and important and meaningful! I would love for Pidge to be non-binary, let’s be real!
But at the moment, we’ve gotten four seasons of Pidge demonstrating societally-aligned female coding. We’ve gotten Pidge referring to herself as a girl - which is much more importantly indicative. Pidge not having many feminine gender-coded interests, and being confused at alien bathroom signs, isn’t enough to be a foreshadowing of her announcing a non-binary identity. I don’t suspect that Pidge will come out as non-binary personally. I’m completely fine with that.
Anyway. TL;DR. Pidge is showing the same sorts of female-coded things in S4 as she has in previous seasons. S4 just might feel as though the writers are gendering her more apparently because Pidge is being shown in the contexts where this is the most noticeable about her.
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ili-here · 7 years
Text
Russian names: pet names
As in, names for loved ones, not for pets, although those are fun, too.
(I’ve been considering a post like this for a long time, and then I got an ask requesting it, so I decided to go ahead and pick up my drafts. Dear person who requested it, I’m very sorry, I accidentally clicked “send” before I took note of your URL, that’s why I’m not tagging you. Credits for prompting this are yours, anyway.)
Most Russian partners and spouses address and refer to each other by the diminutives or their first names, sometimes using a slightly different version than everyone else (Vitka or Vitenka, rather than just Vitya, Yurka or Yurochka rather than Yura), but generally, they use the same names for each other as their siblings and close friends use for them.
Also, Russians in general (especially Russian men, Georgi Popovich notwithstanding) are a little (okay, a lot) more reserved than people in a lot of other countries; ending every phone call with “I love you”, making sure there are always fresh flowers in the house and bringing each other breakfast in bed isn’t something that happens very often, not even in novels.. 
Therefore, not a lot of Russians make up pet names for each other, call each other something new and sweet every day or even explicitly say “I love you” at all. 
That said, pet names still do exist, and people do use them - sometimes sincerely, and sometimes jokingly or even in mocking.
Before I begin my three-page rant on Russian nicknames, I’d like to make sure we’re clear about three things.
First, my transliteration isn’t the only correct way to spell it. There’s often no right way to transliterate some words or letters, so if you see and like some other way to spell some word - go ahead and use that, it most possibly doesn’t matter. Just watch out for o/a and e/i in unstressed syllables (it’s YurOchka, VitEnka), because those, if spelled wrong, look like spelling mistakes rather than alternative transliterations.
Second, YMMV. Russia is huge. Dialects exist. People are different. There’s a good chance someone may use some words differently, and that’s okay.
Third, I hope everyone’s aware that it’s also okay to use any words you like in your fanfic, even if they only sound Russian, or don’t even sound Russian at all; it’s your text, you’re the one who’s creating the universe your characters live in; the Russia in your fanfic doesn’t have to be exactly the same as the Russia that exists in our world.
If, however, you want to stick to the real-life Russian pet names, this text is for you.
The first thing that’s important to remember when picking a Russian endearment is gender. A lot of Russian words aren’t gender-neutral, and using the wrong gender makes it hilarious if the person is secure in their gender or offensive, if they have gender-related issues. So please, make sure you pick a gender-neutral word or use the correct version of a gendered one. I marked all feminine words with an f, and all masculine with an m, and explicitly stated if the word is gender-neutral.
The word most frequently used in fanfic, “дорогой(m, dorogoy)/дорогая(f, dorogaya)” is, indeed, the equivalent for “darling”, but in real life it’s hardly ever used as an endearment. Instead, it’s more of a word for old married couples: “Dorogaya, you ruined my life, - You’re not exactly a gift yourself, dorogoy!”. It’s used ironically or jokingly much more often than as an actual way to address someone you love. It’s also the same word as “expensive”, so statements like “Moya dorogaya is very dorogaya, that’s the third silver necklace this week” aren’t unheard of.
Much more often used is “милый(m, miliy)/милая(f, milaya)”. It basically means the same - “dear/darling” - but sounds more gentle and intimate. Young women use that, along with lubimiy, on girly forums to refer to their boyfriends (”Last night miliy said that I...”).
To call someone “my love” or “beloved”, one would most probably use “любимый(m, liubimiy/любимая(f, liubimaya)”, it means “beloved”, but used much more casually than the English word. If used for the first time, however, it can be seen as a love confession. It’s a very frequently used endearment, practically every couple who use the word “love” to define their relationship used that at least once (“Lubimiy, buy some milk and cat litter” is a text a lot of married Russian men get at least twice a month).
To add some ambiguity, because sometimes Russian words, too, can have multiple meanings, любимый/любимая also means “favourite”. “My favourite coach” and “my beloved coach” are the same phrase.
Another endearment for “my love” is “любовь моя(lubov moya)” - the word “lubov” is feminine, but the expression is gender-neutral, and is used, as an endearment, pretty much the same way “my love” would be used in English.
To add more poignance to the “beloved”, one can use the word “возлюбленный(m, vozlublenniy)/возлюбленная(f, vozlublennaya)” - that’s a word for epic love novels and fairy tales. I’m pretty sure that’s how you’d translate Georgi’s “my love” in his inner monologues, and also maybe some cheesy magazine article would say something about Yuri being “Victor’s vozlublenniy”, but I can’t see anyone else using it in YOI, other than in mocking.
“Моя радость” or “радость моя” (moya radost/radost moya) is gender-neutral and means “my joy”, “radost moya” being a little more on the mocking side than “moya radost”, but not much; “счастье моё(stchastye moyo)” is also gender-neutral and means “my happiness”, but no one really takes it for a love confession, it’s just an endearment. All three can be casually used as slightly cheesy endearments, and also to address little children. The ones where moyo/moya comes second can be also used to refer to a loved one to a third person, especially ironically: “Stchastye moyo forgot to wash the dishes last night again”, “Radost moya worries too much”)
There’s also “мой сладкий(m, moy sladkij)/моя сладкая(f, moya sladkaya) - “my sweet” (or just “sladkij/sladkaya”, without the “my”), and it’s a way a heterosexual couple might address each other, and also a way mothers (or other close female relatives) call their children, but for gay couples, it’s loaded, because that (and sladenkiy, which is a variation of the same) has been used in nasty gay jokes for decades. I can’t picture a real-life gay man casually addressing his partner that way unless he’s making a point, but seeing how Yuri on Ice exists in a universe without homophobia, it could be a perfectly nice way to address someone in that universe.
Every endearment that has a “moj”/”moya” in it means “my(something)”, and can be countered with “I’m not yours,” if the two lovers are fighting or one of them is Yurio.
A very nice, sweet, and intimate way to address someone you’re planning to spend the rest of your life with is “родной(m, rodnoy)/родная”(f, rodnaya). There’s no direct translation (which is probably why I’ve never seen it used in fanfic), but when used with other words it’s “native” in “native language”, “whole/german” in “whole brother/brother-german” (as opposed to adopted children, foster siblings, stepparents and so on), and shares the same root with the Russian for “kin” and “motherland” - so, it reflects some deep familial connection, often by blood. When used as a term of endearment, it’d hardly ever used for actual family (in classical literature, sons sometimes use that to address their mothers, but that’s about it), but instead is used to show the other person that although you don’t share blood, they’re your closest family. It’s not likely to be used in a sexual situation, but perfect for heavy talks (“Rodnoy moy, I’m not leaving you, why would you think that”) and sleepy cuddling (”Sleep, rodnoy, you have a hard day tomorrow”). I don’t think it can be used casually other than between people who have been married for decades, but it’s definitely a YMMV point.
An intimate, yet casual endearment is “душа моя (dusha moya)” - “my soul”. The word “dusha” is feminine, but the endearment is gender-neutral. At some point it was almost as loaded as “rodnoy”, but nowadays it’s just a casual way to address a romantic partner.
Sometimes people use “малыш(malysh, little one)” as an endearment in lieu of “baby”. The word is masculine, but can be used as gender neutral. There’s also a feminine version - малышка(malyshka), and that, too, can be used to address a (female) partner, but most prefer “malysh”. I find both malysh and malyshka a little patronising with a side of creepy, but again, YMMV.
Another word for “baby” is “детка(f, detka)”. It’s not used the same way as “baby” in English; rather, it’s a word teenage boys in silly movies use to catcall teenage girls, and a word used in Russian rock and rap songs to make a point (don’t ask me which point that is), and also a word used to translate the English “baby”, but it always sounds a little out of place even in dubbed American TV shows. It’s not a term of endearment.
“Sleeping beauty” is usually translated as “спящая красавица”(f, spashyaya krasavitsa), but since that’s feminine, in the anime it’s probably (I haven’t seen the Russian version) translated as “спящий красавец”(m, spyashiy krasavets). That can be used the way Victor used it in the anime, and also in “Wake up, spyashiy krasavets, it’s ten o’clock!”, and Victor can tell someone, “he’s such a krasavets, have you seen him?” or call Yuri a krasavets when he’s trying on a new costume or something like that, but it’s unlikely to become a frequently used pet name.
Here are some more endearments that can be used to address a lover and aren’t loaded with double-meanings, for the most part.
Gendered: котёнок(m, kotionok) - kitten, киска(f, kiska) - kitty, котик(m, kotik) - little cat; зайчонок(m, zaychonok) - little hare, звезда моя(f, zvezda moya) - my star, звёздочка моя(f, zviozdochka moya) - my little star, мой золотой(m,moy zolotoy)/моя золотая(f,moya zolotaya) - my golden,
Gender-neutral: солнышко(solnishko) - little sun, зайка(zayka) - hare, золотце(zolotse) - little gold, лапа(lapa) - paw (I have no idea how a paw became an endearment, but here it is), лапочка(lapochka) - little paw (that one’s often used to say someone is absolutely cute and adorable, or, alternatively, absolutely clueless: “He’s such a lapochka!”),
Most of these endearments can be used annoy rather than please; there are lots of jokes where a man keeps forgetting the names of his girlfriends and keeps calling them by numerous endearments to make sure they doesn’t notice.
Also, I’d like to mention a couple of words that I often see in fanfic, but feel like they’re out of place.
“Медвежонок(m, medvezhonok)” - “bear cub”, although may occasionally be used as an endearment, is mostly used only for people who somehow showed some affinity for bears. They may like bears, look like a bear or be named Michael (short for Michael is Misha, which is also short for “bear”). If a, say, Andrey, doesn’t look like a bear and never said he liked bears, calling him “medvezhonok” sounds weird.
“Сахарок(m, saharok)” - sugar - isn’t used as an endearment, either. If you want to use something sugar-related, use “сахарный(m, saharniy)” - “made of sugar”. That’s the way Baba Yaga addresses little children she wants to eat, but at least that IS used as an endearment.
A “medvezhonok”-like (specific to a person and not generally used as a random endearment) pet name that would fit Yurio (because I’m not sure one can survive calling Yurio a kitten) is probably “тигрёнок(tigrionok) - tiger cub. 
 TL;DR: It’s okay not to use Russian endearments in your story at all, because not all Russians use them. If you do use an endearment, make sure to mind the gender. The best endearment Victor would use to call Yuri (in my own personal opinion) is “rodnoy”. Detka, medvezhonok and saharok aren’t frequently used Russian endearments, but it’s okay to use them in your fanfic, because it’s YOUR fanfic.
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You're totally right about us missing a Sam snark-fest while he was labelling the room, bc I'm pretty sure when Dean's watching ScoobyDoo there's a lamp next to the bed labelled 'ANOTHER LAMP' like wow OK Sam. Also interesting to note is that while emphasis was put on the lightstick lamp, the other lamp is the regular DRESS lamp. Kinda almost masculine vs feminine lamps... I just think it's great that light can come from lamps of all shapes&sizes. It's all valid. Like male sirens. Just a thought
I was cracking up about the post-its because of this, went to look, totally over-shot the part of the episode I was looking for, and caught Rowena moving the labels around just to be petty about Sam being rude to her
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^ that chair in the corner
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Anyway proving Sam is hilariously petty is way more important than meta to me so I carried on looking and
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Have I mentioned how much I love Sam Winchester today? I’m also cracking up that he felt the need to label the art “Art” which is probably a type of art all by itself. Like you could find this in a gallery and be “yeah okay” and wonder what the statement the artist was trying to make was.
Maybe after all this is over Sam goes on a motel art stealing spree, and puts them in a gallery with his post-it note commentary. I used to be sold on writer!Sam as an endgame but pretentious art weirdo Sam is also perfectly good by me.
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I have got to stop before I screencap every single even slightly legible post-it
Although I think this is possibly the pinnacle of Sam’s labelling spree:
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You know what now I’m actually trying to focus on answering this all I’ve got is laughing at how the “stick light” is kinda phallic :P It’s also at the desk and a reading lamp, and despite everything I think desks are still seen as kind of masculine spaces - at least, you’d think they’d be gender neutral enough but between years of patriarchy and the fact you KNOW manufacturers would find some way to make desks girly if they thought women were going to be using them and that’s who they were marketing to, that kind of practical sleek metal design of the lamp is probably something marketers and manufacturers would subconsciously assume was for men… TBH Dean not knowing wtf it was kind of draws attention to its design because it’s not exactly the archetypal light in the same way the bedside lamps looked pretty normal run of the mill lamps. Labelling one “lamp” and the other “another lamp” is like… drawing attention to sexual dimorphism in lamps? Pfft :P 
But yeah even setting aside the entire weight of what the Siren episode meant for Dean, I think it’s neat to revisit it just to point out that Sirens aren’t “all hot chicks” because it leaves the world open for that kind of more thoughtful exploration. If you take it at total face value, the siren episode seems fairly conscientious of toeing the line between gratuitous fanservice and NOT relying on said fanservice by just making it about Dean being needed to be saved from some scantily clad woman who sleeps with him and all that very typical narrative of lustful women ruining men. Which is like, a half credit when that was the entire set up for the episode plus multiple trips to the stripclub, but I suppose you could argue that was another age of the show (THREE ages of the show ago), and perhaps the thing we take away from it should be the unexpected twist on the trope. Like, looking at it with Dean’s total obliviousness, it’s playing off his expectations, because the social stuff is still deeply ingrained in him as one of the layers that is much further down than his memory to go. 
And then we have Sam’s expectations that Dean would be upset by that, like, sorry to break it to you, but Dean’s just like, “huh”, because he’s already ditched HIS personal crap which would make him weird about it. He just takes the sirens how they come :P Pfft.
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