#in another life i was Definitely a farm girl who spent every day cooking or a tavern cook girl ughhh

[dear-ao3]

part of me was not looking forward to moving out but then i think about the fact that one month ago i was living at my parents house living off of peanut butter and apples today i accidentally made the most baller mushroom sauce because i wanted to fuck around and find out

[guerilla935]

My Favorite Fishing in Video Games Where Fishing is Not Core Game Play

A really awesome surprise for me is always to boot up a game that is full of action and suspense to be introduced to a fishing side activity. I have toiled away at fishing in games for hundreds of hours at least. It has gotten so bad in some instances that my friends have asked me why I haven’t just taken the plunge into real fishing. It’s definitely because that is a lot of work and in real life I don’t catch a fish every 30 seconds. They have also wondered why I don’t just play a fishing simulator like Planet Fishing (Shout out to Planet Fishing that’s a great game). And that’s where I have to think for a while. Fishing while you have better things to do like save the world is very special. You aren’t fishing because it’s the objective of the game or because that’s why you are there, you are fishing because it’s fun and maybe you need a break to swing a fishing rod instead of a sword. And then you can stop, and get back to fighting or whatever the rest of the game entails. Below are games that have fishing in them for mostly no reason at all. I have shamelessly spent way to long with my bait in these waters and absolutely loved every second of it and I hope that you (the reader) can find a lot of relaxation in these waters as well.

Pokemon Series

Since the very first Pokemon game there has been fishing. You get the old rod from some guy and then you are free to fish up as many goldfishes that you want hoping that one of them will grow up to be a 21 foot tall dragon. Pokemon has combined their fishing with their main game play and makes you at least start a battle with the fish you drag onto shore. Now fishing in Pokemon is pretty subpar mainly because a single Pokemon game hasn’t really been known to have more than a handful of Pokemon that you can fish for. Also if you are looking for a strong water type Pokemon you could do a lot better than fishing for it. Typically a Pokemon player will fish about 5-10 times total. And although fishing for Pokemon isn’t all that great it has been in every game for over 20 years and that is pretty impressive. It’s a small detail that makes the world of Pokemon feel like a real world of wild creatures.

Sonic Adventure DX

In Sonic Adventure DX you are given the choice to play as a lot of different characters, one of which is named Big the Cat. Most of the characters are combat characters that rely on speed and attacks to get through levels, some even wielding rocket launchers and extremely oversized hammers. However when you start the story of Big the Cat you are thrown in a completely opposite direction. Big the Cat is a giant purple cat who lives in the jungle with his best friend Froggy. Froggy accidentally swallows one of the most powerful objects in the Sonic universe and Big the Cat must chase him all over the world trying to fish him out of where he is hiding so that he can eject the Chaos Emerald out of him and they can return to their life in the jungle. The fishing mechanics in this game actually are really good and this is probably because Sega had just put out a series of mildly successful Bass fishing games before releasing this game. Either way its absolutely hilarious that Big the Cat gets to defeat Chaos 6 right before Super Sonic has his showdown with Chaos Perfect.

Final Fantasy XV

In Final Fantasy XV you play as Noctis and his favorite hobby is fishing. When I first played this game I sped through it and never fished once and reached the end of the game never indulging Noctis in his hobby. When I replayed Final Fantasy XV I fished for 50 hours and then ejected the disc from my console. The fishing in Final Fantasy XV is surprisingly deep with a lot of the vendors supporting what you could call a fishing road trip. In the game it is extremely dangerous to be out at night so I would plan day trips to lakes to maximize the amount of fishing I would get to do. I would prepare days in advance to make sure I could afford the trip and that I had enough supplies to both protect myself at the lake and have enough supplies to last the whole day. Final Fantasy XV really is a game about getting really distracted and fishing is probably its best distraction. My days on the lake were the perfect balance of peaceful and rewarding, this game offers an awesome reward of well planned trips and a good haul of fish.

Final Fantasy XIV Online

Final Fantasy XIV is the only game I have ever played where the fishing played exactly like its combat. When you are fighting enemies in a dungeon in FFXIV you are constantly adding buffs, landing hits, using consumables, and managing resource bars. When you are fishing in FFXIV you are constantly adding buffs, landing hits, using consumables, and managing resource bars. Note you are doing so at a much more leisurely and less life threatening pace but you are still doing it. I never maxed out the fisher class but I got it into the expansion content which was a really long and relaxing experience. Yet another Final Fantasy title where the real meat of the game is in getting distracted. When you fish you also sell on a player market that fluctuates based on market price just like real fish. You get the relaxing fishing side of the game and also an aggressive economic number crunching side as well. I spent way too long with a real pen and paper deciding how much I should sell for on any particular day and bossing around my two cat girl employees.The MMO aspect of the game adds so much to what you would expect to be a very solitary experience.

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

Have you ever gone fishing for hours to receive an empty bottle? That is exactly what kick started my addiction to fishing in Twilight Princess. An empty bottle in Twilight Princess means another way to heal yourself, another way to add oil to a lantern, another way to carry useless water around. The only way to get the 4th bottle in the game is to go to a dedicated fishing spot and fish until you pulled it out of the pond. The actual fishing is pretty weird, it involves motion controls which I still am not entirely sure what they do or how to properly use them but it is really fun to hold the pole in gyroscope and set the lure in the water waiting for fish to come get a nibble. Although the physics with the water make it difficult to see if you have actually gotten a bite or not it still is enjoyable the other 85% of the time it works.

Stardew Valley

So this one is at the top of every other “fishing in games” list and there is a big reason for that. It’s really good. I think in my first Stardew Valley farm I gave up farming entirely and fished all day every day and stopped to buy food to replenish my energy and go back at it. I really didn’t care about getting rich or making enough money to expand the farm or get to know everyone I actually spent about 50 hours just fishing. The fishing takes some skill and a pretty keen eye but the random jerks of the fish and the rhythm of the game play are so fun to try to master. It’s a part of Stardew Valley that I felt like I was continuously improving on as time went on and it was really fun. I mean I don’t recommend it because you’ll end up moderately poor but it was really fun.

Fantasy Life

Fantasy Life offers you 12 potential jobs, you could be a brilliant blacksmith or a devious potions maker, a lumberjack or a knight, a hunter or a seamstress. However your inner dad is calling and you decide you want to play through a fantasy RPG as a fisherman, hell yeah. the story is relatively short so you can quickly unlock a lot of locales to fish at and there is a manageable economy system that lets you deal in fish in advantageous ways. You can even pick up cooking on the side and make fancy dinners and sell the fish for higher you can do that as well. Fantasy Life is like a clever mix between Animal Crossing and Final Fantasy XIV and it kind of succeeds and falls short of it. The fishing also takes a good amount of skill and rhythmic approach to master so it doesn’t get boring almost at all until you have cleared the game.

Maple Story 2

Maple Story 2 is one of the most expressive and cutest games that I have ever played. And the fishing is no different, its all about style. The fishing in Maple Story 2 is monotonous and can get old but you do it for the chibi clout. Because much like the rest of the game you can look however you want and do whatever you want and sometimes you just feel like kicking back and throwing lure in the water at the beach. I never got super into the fishing in this game but it won me over with its adorable design and stylish atmosphere.

Animal Crossing Series

Of course I had to include the most popular game right now. Animal Crossing has become something of a connection between people when we can’t leave the house. A thing we all have in common on social media and with our friends. My first experience with Animal Crossing really starts with New Horizons and I was completely blown away. The fishing isn’t super complex or difficult but the range of what you can pull out of the water and what you can do with it is absolutely breathtaking. For a game about cartoon people living with humanoid cartoon animals the fish looking photo realistic. And the museum where they can be kept is stunning. The museum looks like it was designed to capture the feel of being in a museum and matches the design of all the great real life aquariums and observatories. Although it is a bit frustrating when your rod breaks it is easy enough to make one (or worst case buy one) to get your bait back in the water.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

Tell me I’m wrong, you can’t. Isabelle getting added to Smash brought a very powerful fishing move that isn’t practical all the time but is really funny. Wouldn’t recommend this game if you are looking to relax and fish but I do recommend hooking your friend with a fish hook and send them flying off screen if you had to.

Minecraft

I have a very special role in Minecraft when I join a friends server. A role that I assign to myself. While everyone is off getting awesome swords, spelunking for diamonds, and exploring the infinite landscape, I build a small wooden shack and I set up a farm with an irrigation canal and start fishing. A steady supply of food is necessary and while I’m hanging out with my friends in a server I’m happy to be the one to provide it. The fishing in this game is probably the slowest of all the ones on this list but is the most useful. just throwing the fish in the oven creates food that can help keep you and your companions alive for a long time. I think I definitely have my limits with Minecraft fishing and I couldn’t do it for hours on end it is rewarding to set up shop and find a nice place to settle down for a few hours to fish.

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

This is the only Tactical RPG in this post. Fire Emblem: Three Houses has sections between combat where you can go and talk to your students and do other activities. We aren’t here to discuss other activities though we are here for the fishing. The fishing allows you to catch fish for some reason that I’m sure is good but never intrigued me enough to learn. All I know about the fishing in Fire Emblem: Three Houses is that it’s fun. I started to bust through combat just so that I could get back to fishing. The funniest part about this one is that the fish has a health bar. Pressing the A button at the exact moment finds a way to become easier and still find ways to mess you up. Either way, I’m not that interested in tactical RPGs but I heard there was fishing in this game so I had to play it and it was worth it.

Jak & Daxter: The Precursor Legacy

In Jak & Daxter, Daxter gets turned into a small animal by dark eco while exploring a dangerous island off the shore of his home with his best friend Jak. To get back to the island to investigate, the pair have to borrow a boat owned by a fisherman who is troubled by an invasive species of poisonous eel that is ruining his haul. He asks Jak to catch fish for him without catching any eels. This fishing mini game can only be done once but it is going to either be something you think is very unique or a huge waste of time. All I’ll say is that the sound that the fish makes when it goes into the net is absolutely a reward in itself it is so satisfying. But anyways, more intense than some other options here but get it done so you can get back to absorbing eco powers and jumping on stuff.

Shovel Knight

Shovel Knight is a 2D action platformer but you can also fish. And you fish for the best kind of fish, money. You can get some other stuff too like health pickups and magic replenishers but we know what you want. You see that little glint and you pop out the fishing rod and pull out those money bags. If you are devoted enough you can even get a surprise from the Troupple King (long live his highness) if you fish out the right stuff. I don’t even know if I fished all that much when I played Shovel Knight but it’s hilarious that you can.

NieR: Automata

I did not play a lot of NieR and that’s because I was fishing. I don’t know why all I did was fish but you throw your little robot in the pond and you lean on a magical stool so honestly it was good enough for me.

Club Penguin

If you know then you know. In hind sight there really wasn’t a whole lot to do in Club Penguin but this mini game really messed me up. You basically get to move up and down, catching fish and avoiding trash and other hazards. Basically trying to do this and catch as much fish as possible to avoid having to ask your parents for real money to pay for snacks to feed a virtual ball of fluff with eyeballs. I don’t really remember how challenging it really was but I remember getting decently high scores to about like 100 fish per round so I guess it was pretty easy if I could do that at age 10.

Rune Factory 4

I’m gonna be very honest about this one and say that the fishing in Rune Factory 4 is basically just Animal Crossing fishing but more anime. The fish react to the pole the same, the fish almost look the same, and the buttons to respond are the same. What makes this one special is where you can take it. You can fish in the little moat in town, in the lake, in a dungeon full of monsters, in a lake that is eternally the season fall, anywhere. You are constricted by the boundaries of Stardew Valley and that is how much energy you have and how much time you have in the day. It’s still fun to fish but I wish that they had used their fun fantasy setting to give the ability to fish up some cool made up fish instead of strictly things that exist in real life.

Xenoblade Chronicles 2

Ok, diving, fishing, same thing. Diving in Xenoblade Chronicles 2 is just fishing with your whole body. It works a lot in the same way as Pokemon where you fish up monsters to fight and get the rewards from them. It is a completely optional activity however if you decide to undertake the grind of scavenging in Xenoblade Chronicles 2 then you will never hurt for money ever again. It makes my wonder why Rex stopped being a salvager to do odd jobs because this was PROFITABLE. The main incentive is that there are spots that spawn a certain enemy that drop cores. Cores are like gacha or loot boxes that contain new anime girl partners that deal huge damage in fights. They even have their own side quests and story lines. I spent maybe 30 hours grinding before giving up on this game and while it does become tiresome I really enjoyed the random rewards of possibly getting a new companion or a really cool weapon.

It’s been tossed around that every great RPG has fishing in it. I won’t argue that point but a lot of great RPGs certainly do have fishing in them. Everyone needs a break sometimes and fishing is the perfect activity to remind us to stop and take that break. Even games can get long and without these distractions it might be so much harder to complete these harrowing tasks. Don’t forget to take breaks and just enjoy the sound of the water every once in a while because there’s no rush playing video games.

Honorable Mentions:

Kingdom Hearts: Sora fishing with his bare hands on Destiny Island

Persona 4: Weird aqueduct fishing

Persona 5: Marina fishing life

Sea of Thieves: A pirates life for me

[tuellertrails]

We’re 3 weeks into our hike so far, here are a few things I have learned

- Wake up EARLY in the desert. Because it will get hotter than hell and you will die of heatstroke if you hike in the heat of the day.

- Take your shoes (foot prisons) off at every opportunity. Your feet will thank you

- The higher you go in elevation, the harder the hiking is, the less hot it becomes and the more beautiful the scenery is. The desert has its own kind of beauty, but being in an alpine environment with lots of trees and the smell of sun warmed pine needles is my favorite place to be (besides a comfortable bed watching TV and eating snacks, of course). We’ve had several days of hiking where we’ve done over 5k feet of elevation, and I find that I am particularly prone to swearing and exhaustion on those days 😂. But the incredible views do make up for it somewhat! It’s all part of the experience.

- Ibuprofen (Vitamin I) and Benadryl are a hikers best friend.

- Pack out fresh food whenever you can. Vegetables and fruit have never tasted so good.

- Kindness is EVERYWHERE. We’ve received food, cold drinks, rides, camp chairs to sit in and many other kindnesses from trail angels, other hikers, family members and random people. Everything is appreciated.

Speaking of kindness, we spent several hours one day waiting out the heat of the day in a small hut next to the wind farm made for hot, suffering PCT hikers, with a cooler of cold water for us to enjoy. It was 95* even in the shade 🥵. We did not leave early enough that day, but it gave me the chance to wait out the heat and look at my phone 😂.

Here’s some highlights/points of interest from the last 100+ miles

- We heard a great story from Trail Angel who gave us a ride out of Julian, who heard it from a different hiker that she gave a ride to. So the hiker was hiking down the trail (early on, around mile 15) when he hears a voice say "hello". He looks down and sees a guy laying in the bushes in a sleeping bag with mud on his face. "Oh, uh... hello" the hiker says. The man responds "Would you like to be blessed with magic sand?" And holds up a pile of sand in his hand. The guy wasn't sure if this dude was on drugs, was going to throw the sand in his face or what, and he's contemplating how to side step this very weird man when the dude stands up and reveals that he is completely naked and says "You should really use mud. It makes the best sunscreen". Glad that it wasn’t me, poor guy.

- We went through a small town in Warner Springs who had a gas station and some picnic tables, so basically a hiker haven. We spent a couple of hours eating gas station food, and I gave another hiker a shot in the butt 😂. Nursing skills always coming in handy out here. Landon consistently says that the gas station hot dog was one of the highlights of the trail.

- My feet are MUCH better than they were. Getting inserts and some foot compression socks were a game changer for me. I now can walk many more miles without having to stop so often to roll out the golf balls on my feet. Despite this, hiking is still hard and we still find new soreness, aches and pains every day. But I do think that we are toughening up and able to do more miles than we did the first week. My blisters are mostly hardened now, and we have done as many as 18 miles in a day at this point.

- Water can be very scarce, and you have to plan out your water carries very carefully. One water source in this last stretch was a big water tank a few hundred feet from “Mikes Place”. Mikes Place is near the trail and has a big water cistern for hikers to go and get water, but they also let hikers camp and party there and sometimes feed them. There were some comments on Guthooks (the hiking navigation app we use) about how Mikes Place was kind of sketchy and borderline sexist, but we went down there with our hiker friends Sarah and Clyde, hoping for some food. Mikes place was interesting to say the least. It was a run down one story house that looked rather shabbily built, with a blanket as a wall in one section. It’s in a few acres of property, and there are all sorts of random things in front of the house. An assortment of stools and chairs, some lawn games like croquet and darts, a fire pit, a few coolers, and then even more random things like a sword stuck in a stone (a replica like in the movie). There was also an old painted car on one end, a shabby outdoor kitchen with a pizza oven and a greasy grill and lots of bowls and plates and utensils, and lots of other items spread out across the property. It seemed a little hoarder-y to us. They had Johnny cash playing in the background which kind of fit the vibe of the place. There were a few hikers there eating already, and a more stout gentleman wearing a t shirt, shorts and flip flops whose name was Scott. He said that there was no food left but that we could cook our own if we wanted, and we were like "ummm, sure?" 
So he brought out the ingredients for breakfast burritos and we got to cracking eggs and slicing veggies and fired up the very greasy outdoor grill, and within about 15 minutes we were eating breakfast burritos. Scott was a little weird. He would pop in and out of where we were cooking and then disappear again, I guess he was nice enough but he just gave off a bit of a weird vibe. Apparently Mike lives in San Diego and Scott is a caretaker of his place for now, along with another guy named Spirit who we met a little later as we ate. He was a older guy, with long white hair in a ponytail and beard, wearing a dirty green zip hoodie with what looked to be a hand painted "VVR" on it, jeans and chacos. He chatted with us briefly, he is a hiker who has hiked the John Muir Trail every year since 2014 and then decided to go work at VVR, a resort in the Sierras, after visiting it so many times. He said he was headed up there in a few weeks. Anyways, we are our burritos, washed our plates, said thank you and left to go filter water from the tank up above, leaving some money in the donation box as a thank you. The food was good but I definitely wouldn't have felt comfortable being there by myself, Mike’s Place was a little...dirt baggy, but I’m glad I got to experience it all the same. Apparently Scott is hiking now, and showed up at the campground in Idyllwild a few days later, drunk as a skunk and vomited all over 😂.

- We’re 10% done with the trail! Which really puts into perspective how long this hike actually is 😂. We had heard that our trail legs would start to come in after 3 weeks, but both Landon and I agree that we’re still quite sore and wake up with different aches and pains every day. We are definitely running a major calorie deficit at this point, burning upwards of 4K calories per day, burning much more than we are eating. This is ok with us, as we could both lose 30 Lbs or more and still be in a healthy weight range! Our friend Jamie, who hiked the trail years ago with her husband, says that we are losing our “town fat”. But we both agree that our clothes are feeling a bit looser than they were before. Who knew that 3 weeks of near continuous intense exercise would do that? We are slowly getting more fit, so hopefully those trail legs will come in soon here in the next few weeks.

- Remember the girl I talked about in our last post a few weeks ago, who woke up our friend at 5 AM and told him that she had no pants? Well, he came across her again a few days ago. She was topless, sitting in a stream in her underwear, playing a ukelele. And much to his chagrin, she remembered him! 😂 Not exactly a meet cute.

- Though there are definitely some eccentric people out here, 95% of the hikers and people we meet are wonderful. We have met the most incredible people as we hike, and are grateful to have made some good friends. They say that trauma bonds you, and all of the hikers have similar trauma out on trail 😂. We all know how hard this is, how beautiful, and have experienced first hand the heavy packs we carry after filling up our food and water, and the different aches and pains that accompany hiking day after day. Ive seen some pretty gnarly feet 🦶among the hikers out here, covered in blisters and cuts, with blackened toenails and foot fungus. Our feet are constantly getting beaten up! I’m glad to know that it isn’t just us experiencing the aches and pains. Ive always been a bit of a social butterfly, and after a year of isolation due to the Covid pandemic, the extrovert in me is absolutely loving the social aspect of our hike.

We will be getting off trail for four days this next weekend to go to a family wedding and sadly, a funeral as well. We were saddened to hear that Landon’s Grandfather has passed away, after suffering from Alzheimer’s for many years in the last years of his life. I never knew him before the Alzheimer’s had affected him, but I was told that he was smart as a whip, very funny, and a great story teller. Landon has fond memories of his grandfather, going on family trips and hearing his many stories. Even after the disease progression, Arlin was a very sweet and gentle man who was happy to give you a hug and listen to you talk, even if he didn’t quite remember who you were. We feel very lucky to have been able to spend some time with him and with Landon’s Grandmother the week before the trail, and he will be greatly missed by all. We are looking forward to getting off trail for a few days to reunite with our family to both celebrate and mourn together.

Thanks to everyone for the love and support in our PCT journey so far, this has been the most incredible experience of our lives so far and we’re grateful for every second, no matter how tough, of this great adventure.

- The Tueller’s

[a-libra-writes]

SFW Alphabet - Eddison Tollett

this is an edd appreciation blog tyvm. this alphabet was a request!

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He shows his affection in little ways as you two go about your duties. He'll rest a hand on your back to steady you as you balance a box full of vegetables or fix your cloak when he notices it’s tied improperly. In public, he sits closer to you, enough for you to enjoy his presence and not look suspicious in front of the rest of the Watch. 

When you both are alone, Edd just likes to pull you in a loose embrace and give you kisses here and there while you talk. It’s so affectionate and endearing, and you want to tease him so bad, especially since he’s usually so dour during the day. But you leave it alone because you know he’s making up for lost time, and he dislikes being unable to show affection whenever he wants.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

You noticed that for all his complaining, Edd truly pays attention to his friend’s moods and feelings. He could tell you all sorts of things about each member of the Night’s Watch, even the ones he dislikes (maybe especially them) and he has a knack for spotting people’s talents. He figured out you were a girl rather quickly - “for one thing, you’re too pretty and you don’t smell half as bad” - and rather than go spilling your secret, he made a point to protect it. If Edd felt someone was getting too suspicious about your identity, he’d redirect their attention or jape about their poor eyesight. He said you were silly for talking to him so much, but he’d let you keep him company and help him work all the same. 

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He gets red in the face when you bring it up, but yes, Edd is definitely a cuddle bug. Even if it’s just casually draping an arm around you while you both chat, he likes being close. When you get a chance to be more intimate, he’d rather you not leave his embrace at all, claiming you’d surely freeze to death if he let go… Well, the warmth is a bonus. If he’s feeling tired, he’ll rest his head against your back or on your shoulder and close his eyes while he listens to you talk.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Edd never thought too hard on “settling down” in his youth, mostly because his family was so poor, he couldn’t imagine a bride wanting to marry into it. Then he joined the Night’s Watch, and he thought of it even less. It just had to be his luck that he happened to find a lovely girl, here of all places, and she was responsible for dragging such thoughts out of him. Sometimes his mind would wander and think about what it would be like if you both weren’t in the Watch and were a “normal” couple, getting married and having a house and whatever other normal things were supposed to happen. They weren’t things to dwell on, because his rational side would take over and insist it didn’t matter, because it didn’t. Still, thinking of you in a wedding dress was a pleasant way to pass the time.

Edd is a fair enough cook, but he’s no better or worse than most of the men on the Wall. At least he knows how to cut vegetables properly now; you gave him an earful for the way he was mutilating a potato and showed him the right way. Hygiene is another matter, since keeping clean on the Wall is a luxury, but he does what he can since being dirty actually bothers him a bit.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He’d be terrible at such a thing, wondering if he should just avoid the person until they’re sick of him or just be forthcoming and end it bluntly. He’d end up doing the latter, trying to use as little emotion as possible despite feeling horrible and shitty inside.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Putting aside the fact there are no other women on the Night’s Watch (that he knows of; what woman would want to be here anyway?), he is a very committed person in a relationship. It takes him a long time to feel romantic interest anyway, so once he’s with someone, it would take a lot to leave them. Marriage is not an option to him, and it’s not like he was the sort of person to go courting. His family is on the lowest rung of nobility.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

While Edd has a morbid sense of humor and a fine dose of cynicism, he would never intentionally try to hurt your feelings. If anything, he’s always glad to get a smile out of you, especially when he wasn’t even trying to. He’s good about noticing when you might be feeling upset and his usual quips wouldn’t be appreciated, and in those moments he just pulls you close and asks what’s wrong. He’s similarly gentle with the way he holds and kisses you; he just doesn’t like the idea of being too rough.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

As mentioned before, Edd is all about the hugs, grumpy as he is. He loves it when you initiate them, he loves hugging you from behind and pretending to be dead weight when you hug back, he loves it when you’re tired and you start falling asleep in his arms. Because of all the layers of cloaks and wool, you both squeeze harder than normal just to feel extra snuggly, but when you’re in bed his grip isn’t so tight. You can tell when he’s feeling particularly affection deprived because he’ll hold longer than usual and lean on you.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He felt it so quickly that it embarrassed him, so Edd held off on outwardly saying anything for a while. His actions and affection made it obvious to you, however, and you knew he’d say it back if you told him. It happened when you were snuggled in his arms and peppering him with kisses before he had to patrol the Wall for the night. It was such a damned cute send-off to a duty he wasn’t looking forward to, he just blurted it out.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Edd has never been a jealous sort, and it’s still true at the Wall because only he, Sam and Jon know you’re actually a woman. Even when Jon and Sam blush as you’re being sweet, he trusts all of you (and figures they’re just the sort to be dorks around pretty girls no matter what).

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Edd claims he can’t stand them, what with their sticky fingers and snotty noses. His siblings and cousins were enough, he’d continue, his parents went through enough. But you’d notice whenever very young boys would come to the Wall, looking fearful and out of place, Edd would speak a little kinder and make sure they had warm clothes and some extra food. You’d tease him about it and he'd just shrug. "Just 'cause I don't want some boy's blood freezin' in his veins, doesn't mean I'd be any kinda good father."

On the other hand, he loves watching you interact with the younger recruits. You’re one of the more open and friendly “brothers” to the Night’s Watch, and several of them tend to follow you around and await your orders. Edd calls them your ducklings and says your secret will be found out because they won’t stop flocking to you. He thinks it’s adorable how you’re so proud about their improvement, especially since most of these boys were lucky to have one parent who might have cared. As if the wedding dress daydreams weren’t bad enough, now he’d start thinking about what a great mother you’d be.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

It’s a rare occasion when you can sneak him into your small, cramped room that doubles as the shabby library, but it’s a private little sanctuary you both can share. He’s a light sleeper in general, but he doesn’t mind waking up to you resting against him. He’s pretty sure he’ll never get tired of it, saccharine as that is to admit to himself. For your part, you can help but feel a little flustered as he gives you several light kisses and touches while you dress.

The mornings you aren’t together are the usual ones. He sits besides you in the mess hall and you both chat with the others while nudging each other under the table. Jon always seems to know when it’s happening and gives A Look.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Depending on the duties given to you during the day, and how fast you finish them, sometimes you and Edd are able to steal away after dinner. It can be anywhere from fifteen minutes to a whole hour, but every minute is precious. Of course you may take the chance to be intimate, but often you’re just sitting close and talking, like a normal couple might. As much as Edd claims he isn’t one for conversation, the two of you never struggle for things to talk about.

Nights you spend together are always special, but funnily enough, you spend them trying to be “normal”. You’ll help each other out of your half-dozen layers, wash up, then spend time cuddling and talking and being intimate by the hearth. Sometimes you’ll even joke about the farm that needs tending to in the morning, or what the neighbors have been up to. It’s a nice reprieve from the usual day-to-day of the Wall. 

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Edd talks about himself a lot, you just need to listen and parse what’s true and what’s him being his usual sardonic self. You noticed for every three things he exaggerates or dismisses, one is true. Asking him directly is fun because he always has to spin it into a rambling story, then finish with some cynical jape. He pretends not to know why you giggle when he’s done. 

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Life at the Wall has prepared him for a lot of shit, so anger doesn’t come easily to Edd. It’s usually melancholy or defeat first. The closest he gets is exasperation with you and mild annoyance with Sam and Jon. 

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He remembers quite a lot about you, half because you’re the most important person he’s had in his life, and half is just from his naturally good memory. You forget how good it is because he won’t often bring things up, but then out of nowhere he’ll mention a story you told him months ago. Sometimes Edd recalls things you don’t remember telling him about. 

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Most people might pick a first kiss or the first night spent together, but Edd is fond of when he found out you were a girl and said it to your face. The way you blushed and tried to deny it was actually adorable - maybe that was the start of his crush. Your friendship also started after that, something he cherishes even now, so he’s actually glad that he didn’t keep quiet and mind his business. 

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Edd isn’t an overtly protective sort, but you’re aware anytime he redirects someone’s attention away from you when they suspect something, or how he’ll slip you extra food and make sure your clothes are patched. Even if you’re capable of doing these things himself, it gives him peace of mind to know your identity is safe and you're as comfortable as one can be in the Watch. He’s already jokingly thanked you for laying low, because he’d hate to duel for your honor with his shit swordplay.

He’s very appreciative if you do the same little things for him, and he always notices, even if he doesn’t say anything at the moment. The fact you listen to his worries and always have a warm embrace ready drains away much of his fatigue.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

It’s tricky to keep track of such things on the Wall. Edd has mentioned that he’s forgotten his name day several times, and sometimes the days start to run together when you get lost in your duties. So instead of any grand anniversaries, you two like to pay extra attention to the few evenings you get to steal away. You’re able to get some extra ale from the kitchens or he whittles something cute for you, that sort of thing. If you two have even a few minutes of alone time in the day, you don’t waste it. 

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He has his nickname for a reason. You notice that Edd can fall into depressive moods and more cynical lines of thought. While he tries to keep the worst of it from you when you’re together, you notice when something isn’t sitting right with him, and he isn’t always eager to tell you. 

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Edd doesn’t care either way, there’s not too much he can immediately fix, after all. He appreciates your compliments anyway, and he secretly really likes it when you tidy his hair or brush dirt off his cloak.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

His depression would slip into something much worse and more noticeable, even to those who don’t know him well. He wouldn’t be afraid to admit to Jon and Sam that he felt like shit without you. There wouldn’t  be tears, just a lot of emptiness and apathy. He’d start to care much less about the value of his life. If something terrible had happened to you and you were gone forever, he’d never discuss you again, even to his friends.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He loves watching you talk about something you love, even better if you’re telling a story. You’d recall all sorts of things about your childhood mare or mischievous siblings. The best is when you recounted a story, either something your nan told you or from one of the dozens of books you read. Edd wasn’t terribly good with his letters, and there weren’t books available to him as a child, anyway.

Since you were assigned to the library, you spend hours digging through the old shelves to find something interesting to tell him about. You’d even sneak a book or two back to your quarters and read them to Edd once you two were curled up. He wasn’t too eager in learning to read better - listening to you and idly kissing your neck and ears just to trip you up was more fun.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He has little to no patience for willful ignorance and innocent stupidity in any person, and he’ll avoid them when he can. A more personal peeve is anyone trying to get more emotion out of his calm and dour nature. He just isn’t one to show outward, overwrought feelings. 

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Edd’s a light and restless sleeper, prone to waking up and not being able to get back to bed. When you’re dozing beside him, he finds it easier to go back to sleep by listening to your breathing and stroking your skin. It takes at least two hours for him to be fully awake. Most people can’t tell the difference between sleepy Edd and normal Edd; you know he’s quieter and more prone to sighing tiredly. 

[todisturbtheuniverse]

FIC: Liminal Grief [1/3]

Rating: T Fandom: Stardew Valley Pairing: Shane/Female Farmer Tags: Pre-Relationship, Developing Friendship, Grief, Alcoholism, Depression Word Count: 10,613 (total) Summary: The new farmer has a level of equal-opportunity-friendliness that reminds Shane of an old friend, but when the mask comes off, it's more like looking in a mirror. Also on AO3. Notes: Very much based in the game, but littered with my own headcanons, both for this particular farmer and for Shane. Like other stories in this series, this could be considered standalone, but follows the same farmer (named Lydia) and the same Shane, and shares continuity with those other works.

It had taken a while—most of the spring, actually—but Lydia had finally fallen into a routine.

The routine involved sticking to the farm, mostly. It needed a lot of work—a lot of work she didn't know how to do. She spent her days trying to replicate the tips she'd unearthed in Granddad's old books, his journals on the seasons and crops, and her nights sleeping more soundly than she'd slept in her whole life.

It was hard work. Scary work. Every time she took hold of a weed, she prayed she wasn't about to pull up one of the precious crops she'd spent her dwindling money on. But she was getting through it.

And when she'd done all she could do for the day, there was always the distraction of town.

Thinking of Pelican Town's square that way—town, because the farm was technically in some kind of rural unincorporated area—always made her feel a little like some Austenian heroine, donning her gloves and coiffing her hair to visit civilization. In reality, the best she could muster was a shower before the long, dusty walk, but she'd always liked stories. Something she'd had in common with Granddad.

And this story was full of characters: the downtrodden but enduring mayor, the rebellious daughter of the local grocer, the hardworking big-city doctor, the gregarious saloon-owner…

As the days passed, and she made an effort to greet everyone with cheer, she got more and more back: brief small talk peppered into her days, friendly waves, smiles losing their wariness.

Well. From some people, at least. The runner-up town drunk sure hadn't taken to her friendliness so far.

Interactions with Shane followed, more or less, the same pattern as the first. She offered a pleasantry. He found a way to reject it.

When she crossed paths with him again at the bar on a Friday night: "Hey, Shane. How's it going?"

And in return: "Why are you bothering me." With his inflection, it sounded more like a complaint than a question. "I want to be alone."

On a Tuesday as she stood outside Pierre's, when Shane passed by on his way to JojaMart: "Nice day, isn't it?"

It would have been easy enough for him to agree and keep power-walking on by, but instead he said, "No, I don't have time to chat with you." Like she'd asked him to reflect in detail on the most recent Queen of Sauce episode.

But these were downright polite interactions compared to last week's, when she'd been fishing at the river south of the ranch, well after sundown. She'd spotted him walking home, weaving slightly on the beat-down dirt path, catching himself every few steps as if gravity was making its best effort against him.

"Hey," she called out, ignoring the tugging on her line, "are you okay?"

"What do you want from me?" he demanded, his whole body swinging around so that his red-rimmed eyes could glare at her. Once they'd managed to focus, anyway. "Money? I'd give you a pot of gold to leave me alone!"

"I could use a pot of gold, actually," she began, but he was already in motion again, stomping up the path to the ranch house and slamming the door behind him.

She certainly didn't need to keep putting herself out there. There were plenty of other people who were already nice enough to her, going on friendly, even: Gus and Emily, who were always excited when she brought in one of her crops for them to experiment with; Abigail, who came up with imaginative renovations for the farm Lydia now inhabited; Harvey, who was a bit distant but earnest.

But she'd seen the paths that Shane beat through Pelican Town. To JojaMart, hunched into his sweatshirt, scowling; to the saloon, no longer glowering but run down; to the ranch at the end of the night, a slow and meandering walk, like he already dreaded doing it all over again. She recognized the patterns. She hadn't been a shelf-stocker, but she knew a kindred soul. Another person caught on the conveyor belt of the corporate machine.

That was probably her dramatics again. Her character-profiling. Maybe Shane was just a grouch, happy to scare off anyone every opportunity he got. But on the off chance that that wasn't the case…

She wasn't going to stop saying hello just because he glared at her for it. Just in case.

On a Saturday night, as spring began to wilt beneath the pressure of summer, she donned her metaphorical white gloves and committed to a night at the saloon. She'd tried to keep working after sundown a few days this past week, but she still just didn't have the stamina for it; she felt like one of those limp weeds she kept tearing out of her land.

A drink was just what she needed. A drink, and maybe some food. Her stomach rumbled despite the meal she'd eaten at mid-afternoon; the smell inside the Stardrop was greasy, and cheesy, and tomato-y, and she drifted toward the counter, following the smell. Gus was busy chatting with Pam, but Emily noticed her right away and came over with a smile.

"Hey, Lydia!" she said. "You okay?"

Lydia blinked at the concern and picked up a nearby spoon to examine her own face. "I look that bad? I showered and everything."

Emily tipped her head to the side, narrowing her eyes slightly. "Not bad. Just tired. Your aura's a little pale."

"My aura is accurate, then." She dropped the spoon and leaned against the bar counter. "I think I'll just have a beer tonight. A fancy cocktail might knock me out."

"I won't tell Gus," Emily said in a conspiratorial tone, grabbing a glass. "We're making pizzas, if you're interested."

Pizza. The source of that divine smell. Lydia's stomach rumbled again. She'd had a favorite pizza place back in the city; it had been her last meal before she left for the valley. She wondered if the stuff Gus cooked up was any good, if he was hiding a wood fired brick oven somewhere out back.

"Hey, Shane," Emily said, just as cheerfully as she'd greeted Lydia, and Lydia realized that Shane was standing at the bar a few feet away from her. "The usual?"

"Yeah." He laid his money on the bar.

"Coming right up," Emily said, picking up a second glass.

She retreated to pour the beer, and Lydia glanced sidelong at Shane, gave a little wave. He looked even more wretched than usual, eyes hooded, five o'clock shadow thick.

She smiled like she didn't notice any of that. "Hey. Happy Friday."

He met her eyes and sighed. "Sure."

Well, it was monosyllabic, but it was an improvement. Emily returned with their beers. Shane picked his up, gave what might have been a nod in Lydia's direction, and wandered away to his usual table. During the walk, Lydia estimated that he'd already downed half the beer.

"I'm wearing him down," she said, impressed with her own prowess. 

"Well done," Emily said. Somehow, she kept the congratulatory tone of her voice from being condescending. "So, how about that pizza?"

Lydia tallied up her funds in her head. She could spare the money, probably. She shouldn't, though. If she wanted the farm to succeed, if she wanted to have plenty for the summer planting, if, if, if—

But the smell was just too overpowering. "Yeah, I think I'll have one," she said. "There a choice of toppings or anything?"

"Just the special, really. Green peppers and sausage and onions."

"Sounds perfect."

Some part of her told her to cancel the order. To take it back, keep the paltry pocket money where it belonged. She just couldn't seem to unstick her jaw to do it. She'd eaten a lot of fresh-caught fish and wild spring onions lately, and not much else; she was dying for a little variety.

She sipped her beer while she waited, people-watching. The kids swarmed in and occupied the arcade; she probably could have caught Abigail's eye and joined them, but their company seemed a little boisterous for her at the moment. They were only a few years younger than her, technically—not kids at all—but she felt out of step with their conversations. Too old, too worn out.

She snorted at her own melancholy. Give a girl a farm she didn't know how to run, and she'd turn into a mopey navel-gazer in no time.

"Fresh out of the oven," Emily said, sliding the platter of pizza across the bar. It was much, much too big for one person to consume, even a person as hungry as Lydia. "Enjoy!"

"Thanks," Lydia said, reverie broken, and surreptitiously scouted for somewhere to sit.

She'd been making inroads, definitely, but it was still an insular community. People tended to pair off, huddle up in their groups—treading the same boards they did every Saturday night. She wasn't sure where to stick a foot in the door, who wouldn't just crush it as they pulled it closed.

Her eyes landed on Shane's table. It didn't get more insular than that. Party of one. Two, maybe, if you counted the beer he was staring at. The look in his eyes suggested it might be his last.

Well, he'd been...amenable, sort of, earlier. There was an empty chair at his table. She had a bribe in the form of pizza. And if he was a jerk to her in front of the whole bar, someone else would definitely take her in. Squaring her shoulders, she made her way over.

Trying to treat this like any other night had been a mistake.

Most of the time, the Stardrop cut a sharp contrast to the bar back in the city. Rustic instead of divey, an old crowd rather than a young one, local beer instead of twenty-seven varieties on tap. And that suited Shane just fine. Remembering that bar meant remembering Patrick and Charlotte, and it was better not to remember. Better to immerse himself in scenery that couldn't get confused with memories.

Especially tonight.

Only problem was his brain, which had had it out for him for just about a year now. Isn't this the song that was playing when they told me they were getting married? it said, and, Look, that bottle Gus is keeping up on the top shelf looks like the whiskey me and Patrick split when Charlotte got pregnant, and, The new farmer girl sure reminds me of Patrick.

He wasn't drunk enough for that kind of thinking yet. Brain should've gotten the message by now. It needed to be damn near pickled before he'd go anywhere near those old memories.

And the farmer girl—yeah, maybe she had Patrick's wide-eyed friendliness, but he wasn't interested in discovering any other similarities between her and his dead best friend.

"Hey," a breezy voice said. "Can I sit here?"

Slowly, he lifted his head. Like his reluctance had summoned her, Lydia stood over his table, balancing a platter of pizza in one hand and holding her pint glass in the other.

He meant to say No. As rudely as possible. Maybe something snide along with it, like, Don't you have other people to annoy? Maybe better than that. A real zinger. Something that would send her scurrying for good. Apparently none of his other comebacks, reiterated at increasing volume whenever they crossed paths, hadn't been severe enough.

But a ghost possessed him instead, and he said, "Why?"

Like an idiot. Give this kind of person an inch, they'd take a mile. Hadn't he figured that out the first day they'd met? He knew exactly how this went.

He knew exactly how this ended.

"Empty seat." She pointed, as well as she could with her hands full. "Unless you're waiting for someone."

It was an innocent-enough assumption, but regardless, it felt like she'd stabbed him in the gut and twisted the knife. It sure felt like he was waiting. Waiting for Patrick and Charlotte to walk through that door, waiting until he knew how to parent his friends' orphaned daughter, waiting to wake up from this unfeeling nightmare…

He could lie. He could say he was waiting for someone. She couldn't have been paying enough attention to him to know the truth, and if she gave him the stink-eye later when it was clear his "company" wasn't coming, well, that didn't matter to him. Maybe it'd put an end to her niceties. Maybe it would be a good thing.

"I'll share the pizza," she offered.

He hadn't allowed himself to look at it too closely before, but now that she'd pointed it out, he could smell it. Bread, cheese, sauce...Gus had really stepped up his game recently. Nothing went better with a beer than pizza.

Well, pepper poppers, maybe, but nobody was making those around here.

"Sure," he said, before he could think better of it. Free food was worth a little inane chatter. "Whatever."

She beamed like he'd greeted her as an old friend, put her pizza down, and sat. "Thanks," she said. "I'm never going to get through this whole thing on my own."

Her timing was a little unbelievable. That she'd forgo rubbing elbows with the rest of the bar—something she did reliably—today, of all days. That she'd bring a pizza along with her. Almost like she had been the one possessed by a ghost—a ghost trying to reach him.

But that was even crazier than all the local superstition. And maybe a little part of him wanted to believe it, but the rest of him couldn't take comfort from something that wasn't true.

He picked up a slice of pizza, though. "I love this stuff," he admitted. "Thanks."

"Sure," she said. "You're doing me a favor, honestly. I don't have the energy to hang out with the kids tonight, and the oldies all want to talk about the farm." She pulled a face. "I work my ass off twelve hours a day at the place. Sometimes I'd rather not relive it all again at the end of the night."

"Hmm," he said. A nice, noncommittal syllable. He took a big bite of pizza—a good excuse not to elaborate.

"Still beats Joja," she sighed. "How is the old place, anyway? Still soul-sucking?"

He swallowed, surprised into responding. "You worked at Joja?"

"Not storefront. Desk jockey." Her nose crinkled up like she'd bitten into a particularly sour lemon. "Carpal tunnel instead of knee problems. I really suffered." He snorted, and she smiled. "Shit, I'm kind of glad to hear you didn't know. Feels like I've been the lone rider of the rumor mill for weeks. But somewhere out there, conversations are happening that are not about me."

"No," he said. "I just don't participate in conversations."

She rolled her eyes, but kept smiling. "Right. How could I forget?"

He felt sort of unsettled by her careless attitude, the same way he had when she'd shaken his hand at the bar.  Like his brusque commentary didn't put her off; like she could have a conversation with even an unwilling participant. The exact opposite of him, when it came right down to it. He couldn't tell if he was jealous or repulsed.

"They'll move on eventually," he said. Not a reassurance or commiseration, but a statement of fact.

She eyed him thoughtfully. "You'd know," she conceded. "You're new to the area, too, right?"

"Yep." He didn't elaborate. There was pizza to eat, beer to drink. Conversation to avoid.

Marnie and Jas were the only people in this town who knew exactly why he was here. He was not about to explain it to anyone else.

"You like it here?" she asked.

"Why, are you having second thoughts? Kind of late for that, isn't it?"

"No! No." She frowned, and he realized it was the first time he'd really seen her do so. "Just curious what other people from outside the valley think of it here. I want this to be long term, but…" She shrugged.

But farming isn't exactly easy or profitable? Probably a hell of a shock for someone who'd had an office job. All that sudden, manual labor. All those razor-thin profit margins. A day that didn't end promptly at 5.

"The people are busybodies," he said.

She chuckled. "I've noticed."

"This saloon is the sole source of entertainment."

"Hey, don't forget the museum. And library. Same building, but..."

"All the young people want to leave," he pushed on, ignoring her. "Or they're here on a whim, thinking the valley's gonna cure them of something."

He shot her a pointed look. She raised a single eyebrow, as if to acknowledge his point, but she didn't volunteer what that something might be for her. Fine by him.

"All the old people either feel like they're trapped here, or that it's their job to protect the place against modernization, or both."

"Ah," she said. "Explains that scene I witnessed at Pierre's the other day." She paused to take a deep drink of her beer. "So is there anything you like about the valley?"

"Not really," he said, automatic, even though it was a lie. But he wasn't about to tell her—he wasn't about to tell anyone—that he liked the way the air smelled after dusk, or that he liked the sounds the frogs made at the dock on the lake, or that he liked the way the chickens flocked to him all bright-eyed in the morning even when he was dreary-eyed himself.

There were very few things left in the world he liked, all fragile as bubbles blown by a child. If he drew attention to them, they, too, would vanish.

"I'll take it under advisement," she sighed. "I only spent summers here as a kid. It seemed magical, back then." She picked up another slice of pizza, considered it. "Still does, actually, I'm just...having a harder time believing it."

"It's not magic," he said flatly. "You just had a big imagination."

She laughed, as if she'd never learned how to take offense. "Come out to the farm sometime. There's some creature out in the woods that makes a noise like nothing I've heard anywhere else. We'll see who believes in magic then."

"Once you've seen the backroom of a JojaMart, you realize humans are incapable of magic," he muttered.

"Who said anything about humans?" she said with an exaggerated wink.

He huffed. Her absurdity was sort of funny, just the way Patrick's had been. Over-the-top, ridiculous; he would've loved that wizard guy in his tower west of the lake, or the crusty old adventurer up in the mountains with the eye patch…

But the similarities meant nothing. She wasn't Patrick. She wasn't being nudged along by his ghost. He couldn't, wouldn't, believe in that shit.

Even though she'd brought him pizza on his birthday. On the anniversary of the day they'd died.

"Well, you ever want a break from that backroom, come out to the farm," she said, serious now. "Get a look at what it's like to live free—and broke." She smiled, a little crookedly, and finished off her beer.

True to her scary sixth sense, Emily turned up right as Lydia put down her glass. "Can I get you anything else?" she asked, beaming between the two of them like she was the proud mother of a child who'd finally gotten a playdate.

He didn't exactly want to encourage that thinking, but...he didn't want to be indebted to anybody, either. Especially not somebody down to their last dollar, when he'd eaten half her pizza. He was an asshole, but he hadn't fallen quite that far.

"No thanks," Lydia began, but Shane cut across her, "One more round. Put it on my tab." He nodded at her glass. "Same thing, or you gonna make Gus mix up another one of those city-girl cocktails?"

For a moment, she looked downright surprised—startled by the offer, maybe, or finally stunned by his ability to insult people. But then she grinned, wide and sincere.

"Just the beer," she said.

"Coming right up," Emily said, and wandered away.

Lower, heartfelt, Lydia said, "thanks."

He shrugged. "Seemed like you might need it. Drown your sorrows, and all that. You want a reliable source of magic, it's at the bottom of a glass."

"Never heard that one before."

"Trust me." He knocked back the rest of his own beer. "Secret backroom wisdom."

She didn't look at him reprovingly, the way Marnie always did when he made one of these jokes; she just nodded, sagely, like she believed him completely.

He doubted it, but...it was kind of nice, feeling like someone wanted to listen to him, for once. Feeling like somebody heard him.

Things could go back to normal tomorrow.

Go to Part 2 ->

[medea10]

My Review of Pokemon Sun & Moon

Hi all. Sorry for the delay on this one. I usually go all-out on my Pokemon reviews that I wanted to let out everything I wanted to. Plus I had real-life work and other stuff. With that said, here’s my final review of 2019 as well as the final review of the decade. See you in 2020!

As Ash mentioned at the end of XY, Ash said he was going back home to Pallet Town and “start at zero”. This means when he decides to go on his journey, he leaves all of his other pokemon at Oak’s lab and goes on a new journey with Pikachu. But unlike the start of other journeys, this one started with Ash’s mom, Delia and her pokemon Mimie winning a contest which resulted in a trip to the Alola region. And since they were heading that way, Professor Oak asks them to bring a pokemon egg to his cousin in Alola. So let’s begin with Ash’s adventure in the Alola region.

The Alola region is split into four different islands. Each of these islands contains trial captains, island challenges, pokemon of different forms, and pokemon guardians! But unlike the game, Ash ends up in the Alola region to go to school. That’s right, after being the envy of every child for the last 20 years, Ash must go to school. In this school, Ash will learn all he needs to when it comes to living in the Alola region. Along with new friends, a helpful professor, a Rotom Pokedex, an enthusiastic Oak that does impressions, and a special bracelet capable of unleashing powerful Z-moves, Ash’s journey is getting very interesting.

MEET THE CHARACTERS: This seriously has got to be the biggest ensemble for Ash’s posse. Each character has their own unique charm and their own speciality when it comes to their pokemon type preference (and their hairstyle will say so too). At the beginning, I was just okay on some of these characters, but I have definitely enjoyed watching them evolve. Here are all of Ash’s new classmates, professor, Pokedex and a brand-new Oak.

Mallow is a very cheerful girl with the love of grass-types and cooking specialty dishes for friends and pokemon. While some of her dishes can be a little surprising, even shocking, she has a knack for using only the freshest ingredients, mostly coming from wild pokemon.

Lana has a passion for the water and yes, even water-type pokemon. She’s quite soft spoken and spends a lot of her days fishing. She may even look into becoming a fisher like her father. But she does have an edge that makes her and her Popplio tough to beat. Not to mention, quite the sense of humor! She also takes care of her two younger sisters Sarah and Harper.

Kiawe is very handy in a battle with his fire-type pals. Unlike the other students in the class, he’s been given a Z-ring first as he has attempted the Island Challenge. Because of this, he’s rather high-strong about those who own a Z-ring. His days start early in the morning with delivering MooMoo Milk, then he goes to class, then comes home to take care of the farm pokemon, and let’s not forget all that training with Charizard and Turtenator!

Sophocles is what you’d call a computer nerd (yeah, we have another one). He’s able to handle any electrical error that comes his way with the help of either Togedamaru or Charjabug. The only thing he’s unable to challenge is sleeping in the dark!

Lillie is the mysterious girl with no pokemon (at first) and seems to get scared by them real easily. However, she knows quite a bit about pokemon without having physical contact with them. Luckily, Lillie lets her guard down later in the series when she gets the opportunity to take care of an egg. And when it hatched, she kept it. Other pokemon, it still takes her a while to open up to them, but when she does open up, it’s adorable!

Professor Six-Pack is too hot (hot damn)! Call the police and the fireman!

FINE, I’LL DO THE RIGHT THING!

Professor Kukui is the teacher to these fine pupils and has even allowed Ash to stay with him while Ash attends school. He seems a little laid back at first glance, but he does take special care into each and every lesson he gives his students.

Rotomdex is the talking Pokedex for Ash. Unlike all the other Pokedexes up to this point, this one can actually carry on a conversation with Ash. Not just that, but come up with strategies, watch detective shows on TV, and even write screenplays. It’s amazing how so much can come from a fushion between a Rotom and a regular pokedex!

Principal Oak…Okay, no, I can’t do that! Over 10 years ago, I wrote a fan fic called Romance 101. And I spent a good five years writing the words “Principal Oak” because that’s what I called Samuel Oak. This Principal Oak is just giving me vivid flashbacks.

…fine Principal SAMSON Oak is of course the principal to the Pokemon School. This Oak is a much tanner, buffer, and at times sillier man when you compare him to the original Professor Oak. He really loves doing pokemon impressions. And much like Professor Oak’s poems, Samson Oak’s jokes goes over a lot of people’s heads.

BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: With the exception of Kiawe, Rotomdex, and Samson Oak’s voice actors, this is literally a brand new experience for most of these new characters. And I gotta say, I hope these voice actors get more attention. I know Reina Ueda (Mallow) has been getting a lot more roles in the last three years and I love that. The Pokemon anime has had quite a history of either getting very prominent voice actors or voice actors who aren’t known for much else. But I do hope for more exposure for Lana, Sophocles, and Professor Kukui’s seiyuus. Extra points for having Nobuhiko Okamoto play Gladion!

I’ll mention more later in the review but due to the death of a very, very, VERY prominent voice actor, there was a major change. With the passing of Unshou Ishizuka, there were three important characters that had to be changed; Professor Oak, Samson Oak, and the Narrator. I started noticing the lack of these three (yes, even the narrator) in episodes prior to Ishizuka’s death. If we go several episodes without one of the Oak’s, it’s not a big deal. But the fact that the narrator wasn’t heard before the start of the show or at the end for several episodes at a time, it felt very weird. But after hearing about how Unshou Ishizuka died of Esophageal cancer, I can’t help but think he was doing treatments during the Aether Foundation arc. His replacement, Kenyu Horiuchi is not bad. But after listening to Ishizuka since…well at least two decades, it’s very noticeable.

The dub once again is putting hope in brand new voice actors and even a few veterans from the XY series. And so far, this is very promising since they casted Alsyon Leigh Rosenfield. However, one prominent voice actor who has been around for a LONG time has retired. Kayzie Rodgers, the replacement voice of Max and Wobbuffet (and long-time voice to Mr. Mime and Professor Ivy) has retired at the beginning of SM (2016). I can honestly say, I will miss hearing her voice. Out of all the dub changes, you were one of a few I accepted. That and I will always remember you as Professor Ivy and Mimie! With that said, here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

JAPANESE CAST: *Lana is played by Hitomi Kikuchi

*Mallow is played by Reina Ueda (known for Kisa on Fruits Basket 2019, Shiori on Sakura Quest, Jiro on Tokyo Ghoul, and Katra Paige on Inazuma Eleven GO: Galaxy)

*Kiawe is played by Kaito Ishikawa (known for Genos on One Punch Man, Naofumi in Shield Hero, Sakakibara on Assassination Classroom, Kaito on Tsurune, Mitsuo on Golden Time, and Urie on Tokyo Ghoul :re)

*Sophocles is played by Fumiko Takekuma

*Lillie is played by Kei Shindou (known for Carissa on Index III and Shijimi on Rosario to Vampire)

*Professor Kukui is played by Keiichi Nakagawa (known for Salamander on Beelzebub)

*Rotomdex is played by Daisuke Namikawa (known for Rock on Black Lagoon, Jellal on Fairy Tail, Italy on Hetalia, Kazehaya on Kimi ni Todoke, Fai on Tsubasa Chronicle, Yuu on Persona 4, and Arima on Tokyo Ghoul)

*Narrator & Samson/Samuel Oak (ep1-93) is played by Unshou Ishizuka (known for Mr. Satan on DBZ Kai, Jet on Cowboy Bebop, Hohenheim on FMA: Brotherhood, Dr. Gel on Space Dandy, and Grandpa Joestar on Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Pt 3) [R.I.P.]

* Narrator & Samson/Samuel Oak (ep93-present) is played by Kenyuu Horiuchi (known for Pain on Naruto, Mako’s father on Kill la Kill, Sasaki on Bakuman, Hachiken’s father on Silver Spoon, and Takafumi on Sekaiichi Hatsukoi)

ENGLISH CAST: *Lana is played by Rosie Reyes

*Mallow is played by Rebecca Soler (known for Hart on YGO Zexal)

*Kiawe is played by Marc Swint

*Sophocles is played by Alyson Leigh Rosenfield (known for Rio on YGO Zexal, Aina on Promare, and Ally on YGO Arc-V)

*Lillie is played by Laurie Hymes (known for Prana on YGO: Dark Side of Dimensions)

*Professor Kukui is played by Abe Goldfarb

*Rotomdex is played by Roger Callagy

*Samson Oak is played by Marc Thompson (known for Chaz on YGO GX, Astral on YGO Zexal, and Kevin/Mr. O’Neill/Mr. Demartino on Daria)

FAVORITE CHARACTER: Pokemon…why do you keep doing this to me? Do you want me to lose what little faith I hold onto?

With that said, this season has given me a “best girl”. Yes, the term “best girl” is given to the…well, you know, the best girl of the series. And ever since the creators decided to shake things up by giving Ash a new female companion every couple of years, fans have fought to the death on who is best girl of Pokemon. For me, my best girls of Pokemon were Prima, Zoey, Blue/Leaf Green, and Bonnie. But there are just a few problems there. None of them are Ash’s piece of arm candy! And there’s some unwritten law that it has to be the possible love interest like Misty, Dawn, or Blushy McIdiot. And my best girls have either been in only one episode of the anime, was just a rival to someone who isn’t Ash, a girl who was never in the anime, and too young. BUT…Sun and Moon did it! It friggin’ did it! It gave me a best girl! And that girl is…

LANAAAAAAAA!

I never tire of that Archer joke! But yes, Lana is best girl.

I knew I was going to like her when she first debuted, but I had no idea how awesome she was going to truly be. Is it her prankish nature? Maybe! Is it this creepy yandere vibe I get off from her every now and then? Possibly! Is it the way I’ve seen her grow as a trainer throughout this series. You fucking bet! Lana at one point seemed like the one character who wasn’t getting much growth when it came to catching and evolving pokemon. Then again, everyone (including Ash) gave me that impression compared to other arcs. But then she caught the shaggy Eevee! Serious wild card! No one expected Lana to catch Eevee. And then there’s Popplio. She and Popplio trained like crazy later in the series and it shows when it evolved into Brionne and eventually into Primarina. ESPECIALLY WHEN PRIMARINA EVOLVED! Did you see Lana and Brionne going toe-to-toe with that Kyogre? That was epically awesome!

Plus, she was like the only female in God-knows how long to reach the top 8 in the Pokemon League.

DISLIKED CHARACTER: My tolerance has taken a slight dip because there are three people I feel should be up here!

First, I would like to put up Cross from the 20th movie, I Choose You. I know that he isn’t in the actual SM series, but I’m putting him up here because I just downright hate him. He is on Damien levels of shit. That’s how much I hate the son of a bitch. He could cure cancer, kick Donald Trump in the crotch, and bring peace in the Middle East and I would still hate him. Cross was like a very bad combination of Damien and Paul. Abandons a pokemon the same way as Damien and shows this power assholeness that Paul has. But add to that, a bit of a cruel edge to him and sprinkle a bit of whiny little bitch on that. He has to hold a grudge against Ash in this movie because he was blessed with Ho-oh’s feather, but when he saw Ho-oh, he got nothing. Oh boo-freakin-hoo! Cry me a river!

Next…Faba! You fucking testicle! Heads up, I like calling Faba a testicle! When I first saw him, I thought that Lusamine was gonna be the one to hate because of the game setup. But this anime just proves how much Lusamine loves both of her children. The same can’t be said about Faba! At first, I thought Faba would be like Colress in a way…creepy how they almost look and act the same. But then his true side started to show. Oh, this guy wants them Ultra Beasts. And will not let anyone get in his way. Not little children, not birds suffering from Insomnia, not Team Rocket, not even his boss’s child! This greedy sonuvabitch is literally the reason why Lillie was afraid of pokemon and re-triggered it AGAIN thanks to UB Nihilgo. Yeah, fuck you Testicle!

Now after that incident, Testicle was demoted and serves under Wicke and Clefable (which is literally the best thing I could ever ask for). And in most scenarios where he’s shown, Faba was silly with his fanboy obsession with the Masked Royal or his stupid experiment shrinks the kids. So other than him being a dumbass nothing too damning! That was until the Pokemon League where he decided to play dirty by having his Hypno bring out Ash’s Meltan instead of going up against Pikachu. I’m glad he got beat within less than 2 minutes because this testicle needs to shrivel up now.

Who else?

Viren! I can’t help but think he’s this anime’s answer to Donald Trump. But I hate both of them so that’s a start! I could let things slide with him just being there for one episode where he’s trying to buy out Kiawe’s family’s farm and be done with it. BUT NO! This sonuvabitch has gotta wear out his welcome by showing up another three or four times doing that same shit! And even his very first episode where he uses illegal tactics to get Rango and Sima’s farm was warrant enough to hate this fucker. I just thought he would just be a one-and-done character much like the Mayor of Trovitopolis (OI episode). Aggrivating to say, this dickhead came back numerous times to do more shady-ass shit. And I hope to Arceus I never see him again!

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT: Kiawe and Lana’s mothers are total milfs.

DON’T ACT LIKE I’M THE ONLY ONE HERE! Kiawe’s mama, hell yeah total milf! Lana’s mother, I ended up having a lesbian dream about her and she became a milf.

Hey, usually I’m straighter than a honeymoon dick. But sometimes I peak over and can easily say that Sima and Lana’s mother are Mothers I Like to Fantasize about. Again, in the words of Forky, “I’m Trash”!

SHIPPING: Okay…let’s have some fun with this one. This is less vomit inducing than XY. Just keep that bitch in Hoenn for as long as it takes. I don’t want to see her for a long time.

Ash x Lillie: I honestly think this is rather cute. Ash is one of the very few who’s been able to help Lillie with her poke-phobia. Though this ship isn’t heavily pushed on us like a certain OTHER ship that just won’t DIE. I swear Amour is like the herpes. I really can’t say there’s much romance here. Although her goodbye to Ash was just honest-to-God cute! Now if there was one Ash ship that caused some sort of blushing, it would have to go to…

Ash x Lana: Whenever she could, Lana would drag Ash along with her. Whether it’s looking for a missing pokemon or on the hunt for a legendary pokemon in the water, she would take Ash by the arm and take him by force. However, none of this was romantically motivated. The only thing worth mentioning was her tsundere way of blushing and brushing off romance when her sisters pester if Ash is her boyfriend.

Mallow x Lillie: This was my OTP to be perfectly honest. While Ash was the actual first person to nudge Lillie to help her with pokemon, Mallow was like the best friend of Lillie’s. She would always show concern for her. I know this is more big sister syndrome, but I’ll still ship it. I never thought anything would happen until the episode where the class puts on a play and I see Mallow and Lillie dressed like Utena and Anthy from Revolutionary Girl Utena. To which I said, “HOLY SHIT, THIS IS AWESOME-BALLS”! Pokemon, are you trying to tell us something with this? You trying to tell us something with this clear and direct reference to one of anime’s famous Yuri couples?

Kukui x Burnet: THIS SHIP HAS SAILED! I’m actually surprised how fast this ship was. I know they’re married in all four games, but in the anime it seemed like they didn’t know each other that well prior to Burnet’s first appearance. And anime wise, they only spent 11 episodes with each other. And on the 11th episode not only did Kukui propose to Burnet with a ring, but they freakin’ got married! I guess there are such things as love at first sight. Kukui wanted it and put a ring on it. There’s a real man, yo! Now, he does lose some points here as he does lead that double life as the Masked Royal where he keeps it a secret from everyone, including his fangirl of a wife. But once she knew, she let him off the hook. And you know how much this ship is cemented? Watch the last 30 seconds of the final episode! It’ll blow your socks off!

On a side note, the way Kukui proposed to Burnet…BEST FUCKING PROPOSAL!

Nurse Joy x Officer Jenny: Amazing, it has taken over 20 years for anyone to think this is even humanly possible. But in Alola, there’s a Nurse Joy and an Officer Jenny that are constantly together. Maybe it’s because I hang out on Tumblr a little too much that it gets implied a lot, but I can’t help but have a guilty pleasure for this.

Pokeshipping: AAAAAAH! Yeah, Medea has to bring this old war back. Okay, okay, I won’t be long here. Just to let you know that I’m a fan of this ship, especially back in the day. As for Sun & Moon, at least we don’t see that classic tsundere syndrome Misty is known for. But she still cutefully teases Ash about several things from the past including the broken bike and their past gym battle. To add to this, Misty (and to lesser extent Brock) were the only ones from Ash’s past companions to see him this region...much to my dismay!

Brock x Olivia: Holy crap! Did Brock seriously get lucky? Is this it? Is this the woman to finally fulfill this pervy breeder/doctor? To me, it just feels like just another day in the life of Brock’s love life. However he has done his research of Olivia that makes me think he’s dead serious about her…I just think it’s a creative way to say he’s in the early stages of stalking. But nothing else came from it after Brock (literally) proposed marriage to her and joined in doing a Z-move with her. Then again, Brock does get a lucky break with at least one lady in each region. Sadly, that’ll probably be the end of that much like Professor Ivy, Pike Queen Lucy, Holly, and Autumn.

Ash x Gladion: Guilty pleasure…is it wrong that I want these two to dress up like Yuri and Yurio from Yuri on Ice. No, didn’t think so! Not sorry for that image!

ANIMATION: I’m sorry, I can’t stay quiet about this like most of the other fans of the show. What the hell were they thinking? This is not supposed to be One Piece. This is not supposed to that Rock Lee spin-off. This is Pokemon. Poke-fucking-mon! Ash went backwards on the evolutionary chart. And people have nerve to go off on the BW series for giving him wider pupils and a mediocre outfit. You people owe the animators for BW a fucking apology for one! Ash’s design now looks like he’s cosplaying to be Monkey D. Luffy’s retarded cousin. Even my own mother, who watches one episode once every couple of months commented to say Ash looks stupid. Thank you!

SADDEST MOMENT: It’s been a good while since I’ve had a Pokemon episode touch me to a point of almost crying. Close, but the Misty/Togetic goodbye still has it beat (which was then beaten by an episode of Violet Evergarden…Dammit 2019!). And even then, the touching moments in Pokemon would be because someone of the main cast released their pokemon like Ash releasing Charizard, Jessie releasing Dustox, and OH MY GOD, NO! ENOUGH WITH THE SAD TOGETIC SCENE! But that was just it, at least no one died!

…Until now! That’s right, deaths were usually only a movie thing as we saw in the fifth movie with Latios. But in the last three years, Pokemon got a little dark in both the anime and the movie trilogies. The 20th movie we saw a Luxray freeze to death, the 21st movie we saw a Snubbull burn to death, and because the 22nd movie is a rehash of the very first movie, we’re going to relive Ash dying.

The SM anime did a few things we haven’t seen in the Pokemon anime before. In the early episodes of SM, we were introduced to Litten and watched a very sad episode dealing with death. Before Litten joined Ash, it lived on the streets with a very old Stoutland. Now think of every sad animal movie you’ve ever seen and you’ll have your answer of what happens to Stoutland by the end of the episode. They don’t show Stoutland’s death on screen, but we know. This episode was very clever at tackling the death topic on a kid’s anime. And up to this point I thought this episode was going to take the cake in the sad department. Boy was I wrong!

The 108th episode of SM gave us one hell of a tear-jerker and it almost got me. It almost got me! We learn in this episode that Mallow had a mother. And this is a first because no one in any of the main cast talked about a dead parent before this episode! We learn about Mallow’s mother being sick a lot and it caused a rift between the two. Especially when Mallow snaps at her mother because all she does is apologize for not being there. Unfortunately that exchange was the last time she ever spoke to her. Where does the sad part get heavy? Here!

While everyone was on Poni Island, we hear about how Tapu Fini is able to communicate with the dead. And among some of the dead we saw Hapu’s grandfather, Kiawe’s grandfather, and Stoutland. But in the mist, Mallow came across her mother. And that one moment where she finally can see her mother after so many years! She breaks down and cries. She apologizes for the horrible things she said as a kid to her. But those sorrys turn into thank yous. She thanks her mother for what she’s done, thanked her for being her mother! God damn it, this is now #2 in saddest Pokemon moments. The second I saw this I thought it was going to make me ugly cry and trounce all over the Misty/Togetic moment. To my surprise, it didn’t. But came super close!

In short, Mallow seeing her mother again…this moment! Feels! Fucking feels!

COMEBACK: I have pretty much given up on people from the previous series to pay Ash a visit in the newest region. After XY where we didn’t get a single sighting of Iris and Cilan getting shafted to an episode that they didn’t even bother giving an English dub, I just gave up. But that doesn’t mean we didn’t get characters who “came back”.

In SM, there were two times where we got a blast from the past. In two episodes we had Ash, Kukui, and the class make a trip to Kanto where (that’s right) we get to see Professor Oak, Delia, Misty, and Brock again. Not only that but we get two more episodes where Misty and Brock come to Alola!

As much as I love Misty…and toler…ate Brock, many other characters are overdue for a get-together with Ash. If you want me to be blunt, May, Iris, and Tracey are the only ones who should get attention and everyone else needs to FUCK OFF. That’s right, we don’t need to see Brock hit on more whores of the day. No more fishing competitions for Dento-fruit (much as I love him). Blushy McIdiot, Dingus, and Bonnie can go fuck off! And that goes double for Dawn!

Shit Medea, that was cruel.

Yeah it was cruel and I’ll continue to do so. It’s been 11 years since May was last seen/heard. Iris got royally butt-fucked by everything in the anime. And as for Tracey, I don’t owe you pissants a fucking explanation. Tracey deserves better! Speaking of…

AN UNFORTUNATE THEORY: With the comebacks of Misty and Brock, Tracey has just been NOT THERE! They go to Oak’s lab and he isn’t there. Not even mentioned. Not a word about him. When Ash calls Professor Oak randomly, Oak is there and even Muk, but no Tracey. When Ash asks Misty and Brock about back home, they don’t mention Tracey…which is to be expected since they have to talk about their siblings, but still.

Pokemon doing anything island adventure wise kinda comes with a mixed bag. The Orange Islands came with immediate hate because loyal Brock fans are ass-hurt about Tracey’s existence. The Sevii Islands were a bust during the FR/LG games. And the less mentioned about Decalore Island in the BW anime, the better. But when they decided to do Alola, fans caught on quite quickly with some comparisons to the Orange Island anime portion.

Unlike all the other gyms in other regions, Alola had four grand trials/leaders. Orange Islands had the Orange Crew, which was essentially four gym leaders. Both the trials and the crew had Ash do different tasks before an actual battle. Next, pokemon with different colors/forms! In the early episodes of the Orange Islands, we saw pokemon just a smide different from their normal looks. We saw Vileplume with a different flower pattern, other pokemon with a different shade of color to them, and interesting designs on Butterfree. In Alola, they expaneded on that by giving “Alolan forms” to pokemon like Meowth, Diglett, Exeggutor, Marowak, and even Raichu! I do love Alolan Raichu! However, the pokemon that had small changes in the Orange Islands were not brought to the Alolan table. So maybe Orange Islands and Alola are in far different parts of the world.

Where my theory goes from here is that I think Pokemon really wants to pretend the Orange Islands never happened. That means the gym battles, the special pokemon, and yes, even Tracey. That’s the only way to explain why no one has mentioned him even when we’re standing in Professor Oak’s fucking lab! I hate to be blunt and say something so horrible, but every time I watch SM, it really does feel like that. Yes, I admit it, the Orange Islands were just filler until Ash and crew could go to Johto. First of all, it exists. No matter how much you try to white-wash us with Alolan features, the Orange Islands was a thing. And it was a great thing! Ash was in his first six-on-six match (and won), Ash’s first double battle happened here, and stellar episodes like Pikachu Re-volts and Tracey Gets Bugged should not be cast aside. Those were all great! Pokemon, you cannot run from your past! You can improve upon it, yes. But never forget! These were a thing! These were great things!

Thankfully, my death theory was put to rest in the first episode of Pokemon 2019 when the Orange Island trophy was shown. That’s great, now where’s Tracey?

Another theory! They couldn’t get Tomokazu Seki. That could also be it!

RUNNING GAG: We got two running gags throughout the SM series! First, there’s the return of that singing ball of pink, Jigglypuff! This little singer has not been seen or heard from since AG. That’s well over a decade, people. Well…when Ash and crew visited Kanto, they ran into Jigglypuff and by sheer coincidence, wound up riding the airplane back to Alola. So now we see it every now and then in Alola, singing in a Karaoke bar.

And the other…Bewear! It hasn’t been officially caught by Team Rocket. They don’t use it in a battle. But Bewear has literally made it impossible for Team Rocket to BLAST OFF ever again. Their life-long running gag died the minute they fell into Bewear’s meaty arms.

Also it doesn’t help that I constantly scream “KUMA SHOCK” every time it comes to collect Team Rocket. Anyone who gets that reference deserves a high five!

BANNED IN THE USA: Welcome back, banishment! I knew you couldn’t stay away for long as we do live in a SJW/PC time. So what episode never got to see the light of day in the U.S.?

This one…yeah, I can totally agree with. So in the U.S. there is indeed ONE episode we were not given. In this episode, Ash decides to help a group of Passimian. And throughout the majority of the episode, Ash is dressed up like a Passimian from the pajamas to the…OH MY! I actually let it slide when I saw the Japanese viewing (because I’m half-awake at 2am), but I can definitely see why this one would ruffle a few feathers. Let’s just say Ash’s costume was a little too borderline blackface and that’s why it’ll never air in the states.

Anything else!? Not in terms of full episodes. Certain scenes, absolutely! Little baby things were edited due to being not kid-friendly. What’s in those drinks Kukui and Burnet are drinking out of at their own wedding? Champagne? Blasphemy! That’s Orange Juice now! What’s in Delia’s drink in the first episode? Oh we can’t have her pull a Miriam Pataki here! Turn that shit into Pinap Juice! Okay, besides the censorship of drinks, was there anything else? Why, yes, yes there was!

We all know how creepy Team Rocket’s Mimikyu can be. That’s why it’s placed in my top 10 list of characters that scare the shit outta me! Well one scene had Mimikyu’s shadow scare Meowth so horribly, the next scene had Meowth DEAD! Face down in the water! Don’t worry kids, Meowth comes back to life. The U.S. said “OH HELL NO WE CAN’T SHOW THIS! FUCK IS WRONG WITH JAPAN!” And so the face down scene was completely chopped from the dub. Add to that, there were several instances where Meowth almost dies and parts of those scenes are cut from American broadcast.

REFERENCES: If there was one thing this new animation has given us, it has open the doors to using references from other animes and even a few western media projects. And we haven’t really seen much of this since the original series and AG. And even back then, it was mostly just Rose of Versailles references with Team Rocket. I know I give the animation flack for it being a pile of shit compared to better animation shown in XY and DP. But I think the animators do have a little more fun when doing Sun and Moon. And I think it’s loosened them to using other animation styles seen in different and popular animes.

And boy did SM use a butt-load of anime references! Here’s a list of what I was able to remember!

*Facial expressions matching those scene in JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure in several episodes *A Mr. Osomatsu reference tossed somewhere *Ping Pong the Animation being used when Illma entered in the Ping Pong competition *Kiawe doing the famous Gendo Ikari pose from Neon Genesis Evangelion in the same episode mentioned above. *Ash and Kiawe making the scary, demonic face Popuko makes when she’s mad on Pop Team Epic, when the two missed out on catching a UB Pokemon. *Transformation scenes with Ash and crew that match those of Power Rangers or every magical girl show. *The girl with many Pikachus has one Pikachu with hair like Boruto (Naruto Uzamaki’s son) *Ash and Pikachu looking like they’re doing the Kamehameha attack during their league match (DBZ, duh) *Rotomdex mentioning it wants to do a sci-fi feature and the image strikes a chord with Star Wars fans everywhere. *Lillie dressed like Utena. Mallow dressed like the rose princess, Anthy. HOLY SHIT, MY OTP IS DOING A REVOLUTIONARY GIRL UTENA REFERENCE! Take my revolution!

And the mother of all references goes to Jessie! Or should I say, her seiyuu Megumi Hayashibara! Pokemon animated many of her iconic roles in one epic scene. Just to name a few of Hayashibara’s roles shown there was Ranma Saotome (Ranma ½) Rei Ayanami (Evangelion), White Kitty (Hello Kitty), Faye Valentine (Cowboy Bebop), and everyone’s favorite Lina Inverse (Slayers). At least in the English dub, Lisa Ortiz popped in for the Lina Inverse moment! Epic on epic on epicly God levels of YES!

MUSIC: Okay in recent years, the English openings have gotten tolerable and the same can be said about the opening themes used this time around. So I won’t bitch about that. So how about I bitch about the BGM?!

Background music, I know a lot of complaints are expressed by loyal Japanese version fans that the English version has completely changed the BGM throughout most of the episodes and even the motion pictures! Yeah, in the I Choose You movie only ONE original BGM was used. The BGM topic never really got to me. But if I remember correctly when 4Kids lost rights to Pokemon and went to the new company, they said that they were going to keep a lot of things true and the BGM was one of them. Yeah, that went to the waist-side real fast! I do believe that they listened to that complaint because in the following movie, the entire score was kept (with the exception of the ED theme by Porno Graffitti).

The Japanese openings…I used to like Alola by Rica Matsumoto. Yeah…used to. Okay, that’s too mean. I don’t hate it on the lengths of V(Volt) from the previous series. It’s just that they used this song in certain scenes that took me out of liking it fully. Now anytime I hear Alola, all I can think about is Ash, Litten, Pikachu, and Rockruff wiggling their asses. Some of the other openings were just okay, I wasn’t too thrilled about them. But there was another thing I feel I should bring up.

Just like the English dub to XY, they wanted to capture a nostalgic feel to the general audience watching, Sun and Moon gave us some of that here. Because of the release of the 20th movie, Rica Matsumoto ended up singing her signature Mezase Pokemon Master again. And as a result, it was the show’s opening for quite some time. Not only that but the last ending theme to Sun and Moon was a cover of Rica’s other hit song Type Wild (now sung by Shoko Nakagawa).

MOVIES: The movies have taken a different turn from what we’ve seen previously. Let’s face it folks, the 10 movies that came out prior to these last three were average AT BEST. And with many other series doing reboots to their old classics, I guess Pokemon decided to do it on a large scale when it came to the story of Ash and Pikachu. With all new animation and a new story, we follow Ash and Pikachu in a much different take on their journey. A much faster-paced story where Ash doesn’t have much of the filler stuff and doesn’t travel with Misty, Brock, or the rest! To which I say, good! I know it means the Sun & Moon gang will never be in a movie, but it also means that animation won’t be there either.

I Choose You was the first movie and from the get-go, fans were upset over seeing a reboot of Ash’s beginning journey with Pikachu and not seeing Misty or Brock. Instead we get a kind of condensed version of certain moments of Ash’s original journey, mixed with new material and get introduced to new characters (who come from Sinnoh of all places). The pokemon featured was Ho-oh, who after all this time was going to be featured in a film and Marshadow because it’s not a pokemon movie without featuring a brand-new pokemon from this era.

The Power of Us, Ash ends up on an island where he meets several new characters who each have their own story to tell including a high school girl, a shy scientist, a pathological liar, an old woman who hates pokemon, and the daughter of the mayor. And we are introduced to another new pokemon, Zeroroa. All five characters (plus Ash) are put through their own trials and tribulations in order to save their town during a festival.

Mewtwo Strikes Back EVOLUTION: It’s the first movie…in CGI/3D/Robot-Chicken-ized, whatever! There’s no need for a synopsis since everybody and their mother knows this story. It’s literally the same story as Mewtwo Strikes Back. Ash and company get invited to an island, Mewtwo causes storms and clones to mess with the people, Mew appears, Pokemon fight, Ash dies, Ash doesn’t die, Mewtwo says profound speech that even Jon Stewart praises, everyone’s minds are erased, and that’s all! They even got the original cast to come back and reused Unshou Ishizuka’s old footage as the narrator for this movie!

The thing about this last movie is that, The Pokemon Company dropped the ball on this. SEVERELY dropped the ball on this! They had the perfect setup, the perfect opportunity to get this in the theaters just in time for the 20th anniversary of the first movie’s release in the U.S. and they do jackshit with it! Not even on Disney XD. For shame!

I will say that these three are a SEVERE improvement on the Pokemon movies. Can anyone with full honesty say that any pokemon movie that came out after the Lucario movie that any of the others were even good? Be honest, almost every movie since AG was just essentially a long side-story with an annoying mythical/legendary that can talk. It got annoying! Plus it just felt like Ash and whoever he was with would just be dragged in the middle of some bullshit and have to save the day. It was fine in the first couple of movies, but the pattern got worn out.

Plus with this alternate timeline to the Pokemon story, it gave the Sun and Moon anime more to work with legendaries and mythical pokemon. Hell, all the main cast was able to catch (and later release) an Ultra Beast pokemon. Not only that, but Mallow got to take care of the mythical pokemon Shaymin for over 40 episodes. Don’t you wish we got that with May and Manaphy? Plus, Ash got to take care of Cosmog and Poipole for an extended amount of time. Okay, my favorite movie of the three.

I Choose You is my favorite out of the bunch. I loved the retelling of Ash and Pikachu starting out on their very first journey. I love the new path they took with this story. I love the new characters introduced, Verity and Sorrel. I love the pokemon that were shown as it gave us a bit of everything from every region up to this point. Yes it was a cluster-fuck in some portions as I had to see past characters shown way different. Cynthia’s Verity’s mother! I can’t unsee this shit! And I will never unsee the messed-up dream Ash had where he was in actual real-world with no pokemon and in a real school where I’m given vivid flashbacks of my fanfic. Regardless, I enjoyed this movie so much. And I got to see many things here that I would always imagine would happen in a final episode of Pokemon (where Ash dies, Pikachu speaks, and an epic fight with Ho-oh). It is now my 2nd favorite Pokemon movie.

+1000000000 points for showing Tracey in the ED credits! Medea screeched in the theaters. I apologize for nothing! Best five seconds I’ve had in years.

TEAM ROCKET UPDATE: As this region does not have Pokemon Contests or that tact on Princess crap from Kalos, we’ll find our favorite trio (+Wobbuffett) going after the twerps and wandering around the area. And while I do enjoy Jessie dipping her foot in the contest arena, this pace can be boring and a blessing at the same time. Unlike previous seasons, we will go episodes at a time where we don’t see Team Rocket. But the episodes where they do show up aren’t the most thrilling. Usually they’ll just be in the background serving treats to background characters.

However, one major improvement with Team Rocket this season is with their pokemon. In the past, Team Rocket has had some unique pokemon that they’ve captured (or stolen…still not letting the Yamnega thing go). In Kanto, James had Victreebel that would eat him. In Hoenn, James had Cacnea that would pinch him every time it came out. In Sinnoh, James had Carnevine that would eat him…Okay, a lot of it is James torture-porn! Regardless, they were entertaining to watch. And I felt a complete slump with their pokemon during BW and XY. This season, pretty much ALL of Team Rocket’s pokemon are entertaining.

Marenie loves James so much that she would blow off being with her own kind to be with James. Even hearing the sounds of wedding bells every time James asks a favor of her! It’s actually adorable to watch Marenie. Jessie’s Mimikyu…I’m almost convinced Mimikyu is the reincarnation of a serial killer. And the biggest pokemon to cause Team Rocket so much grief is one they didn’t even catch, but it sticks around to take care of them like they were children, Bewear! And trust me, they’ve tried catching Bewear. And Bewear smushed the pokeball into poke-dust! Bewear would just come right the fuck out of nowhere, defying logic, gravity, and absurdity to bring Team Rocket back to its cave! This, making it the longest period of time where Team Rocket went without blasting off!

Every time they had the twerps cornered, in comes Bewear to take them back! Whenever they were about to do their traditional blast off, Bewear would come in and take them back to the cave! Even when they’re in fucking Kanto, it managed to swoop in and take them back to the cave. Team Rocket even DEFEATED Ash in a battle and had the perfect opportunity to take the twerp’s Pikachu. But no, Bewear came in and swooped them up! These pokemon were fun to watch this entire series! This was definitely an improvement from the last few seasons. Seriously, I can’t even remember what pokemon Jessie and James had during BW!

BIG TEAM BATTLE: Just like in Unova, Team Rocket ended up getting more attention than the antagonists of Alola. Except here, it’s a little more accepting. It’s just that in Alola, was there really a big team to cause major havoc with world-shaking consequences? Technically, the Aether Foundation wasn’t the big bad team and Team Skull was just a bunch of angsty punks. Regardless, there were two arcs with something epic happening.

The first of course was opening the wormhole and discovering the Ultra Beasts. And in almost the same fashion as the game, Lillie and the rest have to go and rescue her mother from the Ultra Beasts (because Lusamine got taken over by one). Only difference is that game Lusamine wanted to use this power. Anime Lusamine pushed her children out of the way so they wouldn’t get taken away. We did get some great moments with Ash doing a new Z-move with Pikachu, Nebby evolving, and Lillie’s relationship with her mother become stronger.

The second big battle was with Necrozma. Now this one heavily involved Team Rocket as Giovanni disbatched several other members including his assistant Matori and some eye-patch gorilla to try and get this pokemon. However after this incident, we never see Giovanni try to get his hands on this pokemon again or talk about it again. Even when he makes a big foreshadowy deal when he dialed Nanu about it! But in this arc, a mysterious power throughout Alola was making all of the adults listless and lazy. And it was up to Ash and the other kids to get to the bottom of this strange phenomenom.

ENDING – POKEMON LEAGUE: Yeah, this league was going to be different. In the Alolan League, just about anyone can join this certain Pokemon League, as long as you have a Z-crystal, it’s all good. Well, Alola has never had a Pokemon League, which is sort of like what was in the game. So Professor Kukui decided to put this dream into an action and now Alola will hold its first ever Pokemon League! So expect to see the entire cast compete! I’m not kidding!

From the get-go I was worried since Ash’s team here in Alola is pitifully underdeveloped compared to past arcs. And if he were to fight, he’d probably lose to Gladion or Guzma! But since the first task was to knock 151 competitors down to 16, we all know Ash was going to survive this trial. Now in past league competitions and even Pokemon Contests, thinning a big number down would take some time like an episode or two. Here, IT’S A FUCKING FREE-FOR-ALL BATTLE! Trainers coming at you from all angles and you can only use one pokemon! It’s like a mini-game from Mario Party it was that crazy!

The 16 trainers that made the cut are all trainers we know! They all had at least 1 debut episode prior to this moment. So no surprise bastards like Tobias to muck things up! The sixteen competitors are Ash, Mallow, Lillie, Lana, Kiawe, Sophocles, Jessie, James, Faba, Aceorla, Mina, Ilima, Guzma, Hau, Gladion, and Samson Oak! Unbelievable! The entire main cast, Team Rocket, trial people in the games, the head of Team Skull, the island heartthrob, Ash’s two main rivals, and a freakin’ Oak! We could not make this up!

From the Top 8, we wind up with Ash, Guzma, Hau, Gladion, James, Sophocles, Kiawe, and Lana advancing. These next battles had some pretty decent moments including James trying to hold his own against Gladion, Lana and Primarina trying to survive a poisonous dick move from Guzma, and action-packed moments with Kiawe and Sophocles.

…

…

I don’t want to talk about it. NO, I DON’T! NO ONE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT ASH’S BATTLE WITH HAU! First of all, their rivalry only expands to like two episodes. One episode prior to the league and the rest during the league! You’re just butt-fucking us on this sweet little cinnamon roll. I know the anime really wants to stand out on its own by not giving us awesome rivals that we get in the games like Cheren or Brendan, but God-forbid if you give them some awesome moments before you have them get beaten by Ash and sent back to wherever the fuck they came from! And this battle is just an insult of every level!

I know Ash has been known to pull off some stupid moments in his day when it comes to pokemon battles. He’d put a clear type-disadvantage against a powerhouse pokemon. He’d put all his faith in one pokemon and if it failed, absolutely fuck all. And most common of all, have one of his non-evolved pokemon go up against a fully evolved pokemon. We get the latter when Ash’s insomniac-stricken bird, Rowlet, go up against Hau’s fully-evolved Decidueye. But before the battle, we get some last minute training in done by Toucannon and its bird-kin. You’ve got to be the stupidest mother fu…Forget it, you’re just wasting your breath! Well, it’s because Rowlet is DETERMINED so that gives the green flag to fight in Ash Ketchum’s book.

You stupid fucking idi…

During the fight, Ash and Hau did use their Z-moves early on and both did little to no damage to either one. But it’s freakin’ clear that Hau’s Decidueye is clearly more trained. That’s why the two birds duked it out to a point of both of them being close to knocked out. But in the end, Nanu calls the battle for Decidueye because it got up first. AND ASH LOST!

…Or did he?

No, upon further inspection, ROWLET WAS FUCKING ASLEEP! God, no! No! Good fucking God, what were you writers thinking? You’re trolling us again, aren’t you? Ever since the Sinnoh League, you thought it was a good idea to troll the fucking audience. Like Tobias having another legendary or Davey winning with a fucking Eevee or Ash losing to Alain. You people are fucking with us!

Long story short, Ash and Rowlet get a second chance. They win the battle. Hau cries. Moving on!

NO, WE’RE NOT MOVING ON FROM THIS SHIT! WHO THE FUCK DECIDED THIS TO HAPPEN?! A lot of us fans are still sore over that retarded call back in the Kanto League where Squirtle falling asleep was a K.O. I can’t accept this, not after all the league battles Ash has had before this. Especially the last league against Tierno, Sawyer, and Alain! They are probably watching you and facepalming. Bonnie is laughing at you! Lysandre is calling you a dickhead from beyond the grave! Serena tore up a picture of Ash and went lesbian! Okay, that didn’t really happen. But this episode got me so fucking twisted I find myself eating thunder and shitting out lightening.

And now with Lana’s defeat by Guzma, we’re now in the final four. So…huh…um, new category! I know this is where I’m supposed to talk about the ending with the league, but I feel like I should talk about this.

GENDER AND LEAGUE PLACEMENT: Is it just me or are most competitors and even winners of these things majority male? It’s unknown who won the Kanto League. Johto went to some douchebag no one remembers. Hoenn was won by Tyson. Sinnoh went to Trollbias. Unova went to Davey. And Kalos went to NOT ASH…Alain! And even in the top 4 and 8 sometimes, it’s all men. I really don’t want to put the pussy hat on and claim unfairness to a show I’ve been watching for over 20 years, but…putting Lana up against someone we all know is going to go to the semi-finals…come on man! I probably should have questioned some gender stuff especially with that princess crap in Kalos where it was most, if not all female. But Pokemon Leagues are usually coed! It’s just that prior to Lana, the only other girls I remember competiting in past leagues were Katie from AG and Astrid from XY. Maybe I’m making too much out of it.

BACK TO THE LEAGUE: Thankfully the semi-finals fights were great (compared to that bullshit Hau/Ash match I wish would die). Gladion and Kiawe bro-downed with their match! Guzma learned the hard way of being defeated in the semi-finals by a twerp. Guzma, you may be older than Ash, but Ashy-boy has been defeated so many times in this position it’s not even funny. So the finals were a three-on-three match between Ash and Gladion.

Ash got some good traction with his newly evolved pokemon Melmetal. Gladion was able to put his father’s pokemon, Zoroark into good use. And there was even a double knockout near the end. But somehow, we knew it would go back to a finale of Lycanroc vs. Lycanroc. And this was a nail-bitter. Who the heck knows who was going to end up victorious?

…Actually, a certain publication leaked the result three days before the episode aired…

I fucking hate the internet sometimes.

So Ash won…

*CRAZY-ASS APPLAUSE TIME*

You’d think Jesus “Tap Dancing” Christ rose from the dead with how crazy this was. The internet lost it because after the Kalos League’s close-call and Sinnoh’s B.S. match against the legendaries, they saw this as Ash’s staple in becoming a Pokemon Master. Whatever…

WHAT NEXT?!: Actually, much like what happened after Alain won the Pokemon League, the ceremony was quickly interrupted by the appearance of the gluttenous Ultra Beast, Guzzlord. And it took the power of everyone’s Z-Crystal to get rid of this beast. However, at the end of this powerful battle, Ash and everyone else learned a shocking secret of Professor Kukui.

Kukui is really Alola’s most famous battler, Masked Royal!

Well now that the Delcatty’s out of the bag, might as well have Kukui actually go up against Ash in a six-on-six match. NOW THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT! This was one hell of a match, spanning over three episodes (it was that bad-ass). Kukui’s got one hell of a line-up featuring pokemon from nearly every region. Now because of a certain battle, seeing Rowlet take out one of Kukui’s finest kinda pisses me off. But the biggest fights came from Incenaroar and Torracat. Because they fought, not one, not two, but THREE times! And their bout ended with Ash’s Torracat evolving and a double knockout! OH MY GOD, HOW COULD THIS GET ANY BETTER?!

In comes Tapu-Koko! He said, “Fuck your sixth pokemon, Kukui. I wanna battle this boy I’ve been stalking since 2016!” Yeah, we get one major fight between one of the Tapus and Ash’s Naganadel and Pikachu (and whatever pokemon that isn’t dead) and believe it or not, Ash won! He defeated all of Kukui’s pokemon AND Tapu-Koko. He’s seriously out-doing everything he’s ever done from XYZ! Even going above and beyond with Pikachu by doing a solid reference to Dragon Ball Z…You all know what they referenced.

So Ash, you just won the Pokemon League, you defeated your mentor, you took out one of the island deities, what are you gonna do next?

I’M GOING TO DISNEYLA…PALLET TOWN!

Yeah, I would choose that too Ash. Only for different and hornier reasons! Actually, Ash gave a lot of thought to what was next. Not only him, but everybody in his class! The biggest one of course was Lillie as she has been reading up on her father’s old journals and trying to figure out that gift he left her as a baby before he disappeared. I still can’t believe he got her quite a rare pokemon like Magerna. But Magerna has been a husk until Lillie took care of it and now it’s freakin’ mobil. Back to Ash, it wasn’t really until he fought Kiawe in a post-match fight that he buckled down on what he wants to do next. And I think Olivia mentioning traveling kinda sparked Ash for his next journey.

And wouldn’t you know it, Team Rocket at the same time gets word from Giovanni to pack their shit up and return to Kanto. Mimikyu in its satanic fashion tries to take out Pikachu one last time. But it failed, almost drowned in the water, and was then SAVED by the very Pokemon it’s tried to kill the last 145 episodes. Okay, vendetta over, later bitches. Team Rocket ended up leaving Maernie and Mimikyu in the dead of night. And Bewear promised to watch after them in their absence and gave us something we haven’t seen since this show began…a proper blast off! Team Rocket blasted off once more. I’m feeling quite nostalgic because it’s been a while.

Hey, I just realized. What happened to Jigglypu-

WHO CARES!

Okay then, I’ll probably see it in another 10 years.

Lillie decided to go off with her mother and brother to travel. Lusamine handed over her responsibilities to Rotomdex. And on the day of Lillie’s departure, she ends up almost in the same fashion as Serena’s goodbye (but thankfully we’re on a boat and she can’t do any last-minute smooches). Lillie remembered all that Ash has done for her and how much she’s grown, so she gives him a very earnest “Thank You”. Now for Ash’s goodbye to his host family! Now I’ve pretty much heard and seen the internet cherish this cute bond between Kukui, Burnet, and Ash. And yeah, it’s pretty genuine! Whenever we get an opening scene of them in Kukui’s home, they’re usually doing something family-ish. And they’re definitely going to miss that! Poor Burnet was even crying!

On Ash’s flight back to Pallet Town, he looks out the window and sees his friends giving him one final farewell as they fly through the skies with their partner pokemon.

In the aftermath we see, Sophocles leaving to go with his cousin, Mallow’s older brother returning home, Shaymin transforming into its flying form (yes, flying away leaving Mallow), Kiawe is doing some training with Olivia, Lana traveling with her father to fish for a mythical pokemon, Hau taking on Nanu in a grand trial, Team Skull just hanging there, Bewear looking after Maernie and Mimikyu, Lusamine traveling with the kids, and something that shocked the shit out of me! Even though I called it in the back of my mind!

We close out the episode with Kukui and Burnet sitting together and...

WHAT THE WHAT?!

NANI?

NANI THE FUCK?

IS THAT A BABY BUMP?! It is. It freakin’ is! God I hope Ash didn’t walk in on them having sex. Don’t be silly Medea, they probably conceived this child when Ash was either training or having a sleepover. Truthfully, I say they did the nasty when Ash, Kiawe, and Sophocles spent the night in the woods training.

OOH, BETTER IMAGE! They did roleplaying during sex and Kukui wore the Masked Royal mask! Just let me have this moment guys. I really enjoy frolicking in my gutter mind!

Oh and closing message, “and your dreams!”

I seriously hope the English dub keeps the end credits to this. They have a lousy reputation of skimping on things like that. They even skipped the photo scene at the end of BW. Please for crap’s sake, keep the ending scenes!

Yes, in the back of my mind I thought Sun and Moon would be radical and give us a pregnant Burnet. I knew this would happen sometime after that wedding episode a year and a half ago. But then a few weeks before the Sun and Moon finale, I wound up dreaming about Kiawe’s mother pregnant and she was wearing the exact same dress Burnet is wearing in the final scene. Sometimes my dreams can be fucking spooky and spot-on at the same time.

WOW-EE-WOWEE-WOW-WOW! Okay, um. Some thoughts! This anime gave me such a huge slump during a lot of it. I cannot lie. There was a long period of time where I was just disinterested in Sun and Moon. And seeing how other people were (especially those who were staunch XYZ fans) yeah I can see that. One big, annoying factor was once again, the animation. Yeah, you whiny bitches complaining BW Ash was the worst? You owe that one an apology! Because this Ash looks nothing like the past 5 Ash’s! And they tried this comedic style that won on some parts and failed in other departments. Though, spot-on whenever we get a Jojo’s reference! There were episodes that were just absolute MEH. And this is coming from the same person who sat through all the fillers in Johto, MORE THAN ONCE! And I had some severe reservations about seeing a main cast this huge trying to get some character growth. I had absolutely no expectations for anyone and thought they were gonna serve as dead weight (except for Kiawe and Lana).

Once again, I’m glad to see my expectations are blown away. There has been massive character development and they managed to hit all the main characters and even some of the minor ones. Lillie especially has blossomed throughout the series. As a girl who was afraid of Pokemon, I am impressed at how far she’s come. She was able to overcome her fear of pokemon eventually, hatch a pokemon from an egg, excel the power of Z-moves, bring back to life a rare/mythical pokemon, and even make it to the top 16 of the Alolan League. While Lana is still my best girl of this season, Lillie is definitely a wonder to behold. Sophocles, I had the littlest of hope or care for him. I still am not a fan of him really, but when you see this boy overcome certain anxieties, hurdles, and one sad moment involving the meteorite pokemon, you see he’s a pretty solid character.

And then there’s Mallow…Dammit! So I just realized as I’m wrapping up Sun and Moon.

One of the biggest things I saw was “Family”. And seeing as Alola is a take on Hawaii and one of the biggest things people pride theirselves upon is family, this totally makes sense. In Sun and Moon, we saw a lot of different kinds of families. Small ones like Sophocles. Bigger ones like Kiawe and Lana. Families that have had their own share of heartache like Mallow and Lillie. Ones that end up starting like Kukui and Burnet! Hala and Hau’s little relationship. And even families that are reunited like Bewear and Stuffel! These particular moments and episodes were ones that touched me in a way only Miyazaki can reach. Particularly Mallow’s story! I already mentioned this in the saddest moment category, but Mallow with her deceased mother is one of the best character growth episodes in Pokemon history. Up until that point, we’ve seen Mallow pretty perky, a good cook, and a supportive friend, especially to Ash, Lana, and Lillie. But then we get hit with this one story that no one expected. And now, let’s discuss Ash in this part! We got to see Ash settle in with a second family life with Kukui and Burnet. I mean let’s face it, all the other places Ash traveled he would roam from town to town. Here in Alola, it’s like Kukui was the father he never had and Burnet was like a second mother. And I suppose they felt like Ash was a son to them. So quite fitting they wound up having a baby after his departure.

And it wasn’t just the humans that have grown, but their pokemon too! Many of Ash and his friends’s pokemon were able to grow and shatter all expectations. Two of Ash’s pokemon especially deserve that praise and that’s Lycanroc and Incenaroar. Back when Lycanroc was a Rockruff, he always strived to get stronger. And in later episodes, it looked up to other Lycanroc like Olivia’s and Gladion’s. Then it evolved and it’s been quite the journey to try and train this doggo to it’s full potential. And because this is one of Ash’s pokemon, this has gotta be a one-of-a-kind pokemon (dusk form). Well Lycanroc has overcome some tough obstacles (yes, including bearing through getting dirty) and went on to be one of Ash’s top pokemon.

Litten, THANKFULLY didn’t have a dickhead trainer abusing him like many of Ash’s other fire-type pokemon. But Litten’s story was far from perfect as it was a stray cat pokemon living on the streets with an old Stoutland. And Ash took in Litten after Stoutland passed away. Litten was a pretty decent member of Ash’s team, but definitely got the fire in his eyes when he saw Masked Royal and Incenaroar. That encouraged Litten throughout the series to get stronger. Even leading to one of the best fights during Kukui and Ash’s match! Good doggo, good kitty!

Oh yeah, probably should talk about the battles! Unlike the other gyms up to this point, Ash went through Grand Trials (just like you would in the game). Except Ash really didn’t do that many of those mini trials since Kiawe, Lana, Mallow, and Sophocles were his classmates and not giving out tests! But Ash still wound up battling the big kahunas like Hala, Olivia, Nanu, and Hapu. And in the old Ash fashion, there were battles he won like a champ, ones where he’d have to try again, and ones where he got supremely lucky. Yeah, that Ash vs. Hapu match was such bullshit. But I’d still take that match over Ash vs. Hau in the Alolan League!

I will NEVER get over that match. Yeah aside from that travesty, a lot of the Pokemon League matches were pretty stellar, even the ones not involving Ash. I really enjoyed Sophocles vs. Kiawe and the Lana vs. Mallow match.

LET’S LOOK BACK AT MY HIGH HOPES: At the end of Pokemon XY, I made a nice list of things I would like to see. Did any of my high hopes come to fruition? Let’s see…

First of all, NO, I DID NOT SEE MY ANIME HUSBAND! For fuck’s sake Pokemon! If Snorlax exists at the Oak lab, Tracey Sketchit should too. They both came from the same arc. But NO! He’s not at the lab and doesn’t even get a mention. That is messed up! I don’t know if this is because they couldn’t get Tomokazu Seki to stop playing Gilgamesh for a second to come back or they’re trying to distance themselves from the Orange Islands as much as possible, or if they just FORGOT his existence, but I’m not digging this. No, Medea hates this with a holy fucking passion.

Old characters returning under this new style! Yeah, it happened. I think I was only a fan of how the women looked, so Misty and Delia looked okay to me. I just wasn’t a fan of Professor Oak and Brock. Although, kudos to the anime for having Brock take his shirt off and show off his six-pack. DAMN BOY! The animation ended up staying the same throughout the series, but I managed to tolerate/muscle through it.

I know I forgot to write this part, but I really wanted Kukui to remain single for the series. Yeah, that fell at the waist-side! Kukui was single…but then he got married. Okay, I can accept it. That was the cutest proposal, I have to admit that. And I was howling when I saw pregnant Burnet at the end. So alls well that ends well!

Let’s see, Lusamine wasn’t voiced by Miki Itou like I wanted. Then again, this Lusamine wasn’t a psycho bitch. Although kudos for getting Nobuhiko Okamato voicing Gladion. I am forever happy with that outcome.

Did I get more Clefables? FUCK YEAH, I DID! Holy shit, I forgot Lusamine had a Clefable in the games and didn’t even think the anime was going to keep that, but HOLY SHIT THEY DID AND I’M SO HAPPY! Not only that but we were able to see Clefable every so often. It’s so adorable. I just wanna hug her!

Lillie’s egg of course wasn’t Cosmog, it was Alolan Vulpix. Cosmog can’t be hatched. It just magically appears. Hey, cute choice though!

Did Ash catch a psychic pokemon? Uhhhhhhh…no! Still no psychic type.

Did I see Wicke and Olivia, fuck yeah I did! Wicke is adorable especially when she bosses Faba around. My only thing with Olivia is that, I wish the anime didn’t make her into a clumsy oaf the whole time. My God, she tripped more times than Bianca did during Best Wishes. That’s sad! Now her being the object of Brock’s eye, that I wasn’t expecting. I’m wondering if Brock will keep in contact with Olivia or if he’s moved onto another booty-call of the day.

Overall, it was a bumpy start for me to get into Sun and Moon. But it wasn’t until we got to important things like the Aether Foundation, Mallow’s mother, and Guzma’s debut that got me back fully invested. I know it’s damn near impossible to convince staunch XYZ fans to watch this, but give it a shot for the stories. The animation is just so undoable after what XY has given us, but still.

Currently, most (if not all) episodes of Sun and Moon dubbed will be available on Hulu, Netflix, Pokemon TV, and Disney XD. Yeah, no one has gotten around to giving us legal subtitled episodes sad to say. Here’s hoping Disney XD will continue holding onto the Pokemon license as they happen to be the ONLY one that literally has all episodes available. On the channel, they still kinda restrict themselves to only playing the current season, but sometimes we get lucky with the movies.

MORE HIGH HOPES: Okay, new high hopes for the new Pokemon series, Pokemon…um, 2019? Seriously guys, what’s up with this cryptic-ass series?

*Signs that Tracey Sketchit exists. Just show him at Oak’s lab or somewhere in this series. That’s all I ask. I will even swallow my pride and allow him to be at the Waterflower Slut Brigade in Cerulean. Just please, for the love of Arceus, show him to me. That flash in the 20th movie does not settle me. Give him to me, now! Don’t care how, I WANT IT NOW! I am the Veruca Salt of seeing Tracey again.

*Aside from Tracey, and seriously show him to me already…If at possible, update on May and Iris. Everyone else can go fuck off! These two deserve an update if Ash is doing this around the world adventure with his new boy-toy Gou. I know it may be difficult to get their voice actors back as I’m sure Aoi Yuuki’s schedule is insane and Kaori has an illness preventing her from voicing. Still! Something from those two…AND ONLY THOSE TWO FEMALES! I’m sick of Misty popping in without giving us what we want. Dawn and Serena need to go to the Pokemon version of Antartica until 2030. And unless Mallow, Lana, and Lillie make a shocking discovery, I don’t want to see them for a few years.

*CLEFABLES! Okay, yeah, that goes without saying!

*YAMPER or as I call him, Winston Corgles Ein Handbanana the Breadloaf must be seen at least once every two episodes.The opening theme doesn’t count. I want to see Winston Corgles Ein Handbanana the Breadloaf.

*Eventually spend some time in Galar and fight gym battles there. I know the Pokemon anime wants to take a sharp left turn into WTF territory, but sometimes don’t mess with the status quo and have Ash take on some gyms. Mmkay?!

*If Team Rocket and Giovanni really have to show up again, could we PLEASE finally get Ariana, Archer, Petrel, and Proton to be in the anime? Or as my friend calls them, the Stupid Sexy Rocket Execs!

*And while we’re at it, could we get an arc in this series where Ash goes to the Battle Tower in Sinnoh?

*Give James a Galarian Weezing.

*Rica Matsumoto must eventually sing an OP theme for this series. Goes without saying!

*Give Ash a Psychic type.

*I know nobody ages in this show, but please don’t keep Burnet pregnant forever. Also, if Ash decides to visit Kukui and Burnet again, I wanna see their baby.

Final category (I promise)!

IN MEMORIUM: I would like to close my review to Pokemon: Sun & Moon to talk about a certain voice that has been at the center of the Pokemon anime from day one. That was Unshou Ishizuka. If you watched the Japanese version of Pokemon, chances are you have heard this man’s voice in any episode you watch. Whether as Professor Oak or the narrator! Not only those two, but voiced Alder in the Black/White series, Samson Oak in the Sun/Moon series, several versions of the Pokedex, Magikarp Salesman, and many notable pokemon including Misty’s Gyarados, Cilan’s Stunfisk, Dawn’s Mamoswine, Ash’s Muk, Brock’s Onix/Steelix, and even Tracey’s Scyther. In August 2018, he passed away from Esophagus Cancer. So losing someone of this caliber is a huge hit to Pokemon.

I didn’t start watching the Japanese version religiously until 2006 (right around the time the dub murdered eardrums). But I was able to hear him as Onix and Gyarados early on because they had the same voice throughout the entire series run in English. But I had a lot of fun listening to him as Professor Oak when I switched to the Japanese version.  Not to mention his other roles outside the Pokemon series including Mr. Satan in the later Dragon Ball series and Grandpa Joestar on JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. I seriously miss him. May he rest in peace.

[fightevilandthengetblownup]

OT3FIC: American Eskimo Dog

28 -  summer pineapple delude quirky astound greasy moonlight bait

The dogs had had the most excitable day and were all laid about, panting heavily and relaxing after all the excitement across the dry grass of the backyard under the dappled shade of the tree above on the hot summer evening. Will felt an innate wish to be just like them and lay out there as dusk started and the group surrounding the barbecue and smoker drank their beers, and those flitting about the outdoor table put the final place settings and salads out. It had been almost as exhausting keeping up with the conversation of the last two hours as the constant running and spinning the dogs had done.

It wasn’t like any Fourth of July that the empath had ever participated in recently.  Usually he spent the day doing work around the property, maybe a trip to the only open takeaway for Chinese food and trying not to let the dogs go too crazy at the fireworks on the other side of the forest. This year though, Will had found himself surrounded by some of the FBI’s most wanted as well as some others that would have been beyond his belief if someone had told him before he met the blonde that they existed.  It wasn’t even like any of the strange ‘holidays’ that had cropped up in his life.

Since Jo and Grey had moved in, Will’s concept of what constituted a family event had changed and broadened significantly.

Will now found that there were days called Death Days which called for celebration - or rather copious amounts of alcohol and tight hugs that he had thus far managed to avoid being a part of. There were three of them still living that celebrated these - Jo’s usually involving a visit from the brother’s and grumpy surrogate dad; Dean’s was usually one where Jo would be from home and not back for a few days where she would practically fold in on herself in tears in the threshold upon getting home; Sam’s seemingly was a little more joyous an occasion where the tall hunter and his brother would bring fireworks and dubbed it more affectionately Apocalypse Aversion Day (though Will had learned through a hushed conversation with the blonde while she was very intoxicated that this was his second Death Day date but none of them wanted to ever think about the original one and the wheels that put in motion) - and then there were the ones in memoriam. There was one for Jo’s father but that was always her own private day where Will would be lucky to see her at all before sunset, and then it would be straight to bed with warm arms circling her. There was another for a man called John, who so far as Will could tell was the overbearing and controlling, estranged father for the other two hunters, but Jo seemed to spend those talking to the boys on the phone and lighting a pyre in the field for some reason or other. He’d learned there was a date for the older hunter’s wife too, where Jo would visit for a week and come home exhausted and needing sleep more than others.

There were happier seeming occasions and more normal holidays as well like Christmas (which always had a funny story about pagans and an evil witch), and birthday’s. But there was also more obscure ones - like how Jo would go to New Orleans every year for Mardi Gras and only ever explained the rationale as “I’ve got a friend I need to keep honest on the tips. And maybe a patron to see”; and a date that Will had dubbed Monster Day in his mind which always had Grey’s siblings suddenly inundating the farm, or at least the ones in bodies which was still strange to wrap his head around, and Jo scurrying out to the forest away from them after a warm greeting. There was Samhain not Halloween, there was other pagan-based reflections that Jo claimed it was “just smart” to stay in favor of, and there was a date Grey called Love Day not long before Valentine’s Day itself where he would suddenly lavish Jo with gifts. There was also another Love Day which was much the same but to himself, and Will still blushed every time when he realized it was the anniversary of their first time and just how much effort Grey put into being a calm and nurturing presence around him that day.

But that they were doing something particularly normal, particularly average and particularly mundane like Fourth of July was more unusual than normal in the grand scheme of things.

“Comin’ through!” The loud call came from the back door as Will turned his head to the noise to spout Jo spinning about blindly with an entire crate of beers held in her arms with another case on top blocking her face from her path as two of the shadows quickly disperses from her path between the door and the cooler.

“Jo, you shouldn’t-” “I was a freakin’ bartender for longer than you’ve been topside. I can handle some beers.” “Really Cupcake, that’s uncalled for.” “Oh whatever, out of m’ way!”

Will watched in amusement from against the oak’s trunk as Jo bouldered her way across the grass and sat the cartons down as the quirky strangest of the shadow’s ran over to help her unload them and begin filling the coolers. Shada who had objected to the idea of so much manual labor sniffed and turned back to setting out flower vases, candles, salad bowls and other elements along the long picnic table with the tall blonde shadow-girl following her pointed demands with a constant bobbing of her head. The fourth shadow, the dark haired one who always seemed up to causing trouble rolled his eyes watching his siblings and the blonde huntress before turning his attention back to the slightly taller, gangly looking hunter that had been nursing a single beer for four hours and counting but was somehow still wobbling on his feet.

He’d not thought much other than embarrassment upon meeting the eldest of the siblings - or who he perceived to be such, Grey had once tried to explain the concept of age against terminology but it had been a struggle and he had been much more interested in him using his mouth for something other than the explanation at the time - when she appeared during one of their chore days, but since then Shada had grown on him. Especially when he realized that the shadow was just as fiercely protective of her brother as he himself was. The tall blonde - Ombre - had been the next one he’d met, and while she’d been sweet and quiet and demure, Will couldn’t help but think she was trouble waiting to happen one day, like a young child not yet learning to throw her temper tantrums in the terrible twos. Mail had been next, though he’d been accompanied at the time by the fourth one who still hadn’t quite decided or settled on a name for himself (cycling through generic names including the awkward visit he demanded to be called Consuela Banana Hammock), and Will had found both brother’s almost as equally strange in their own ways as one another. Mail’s inability to sit correctly was almost as weird as the way the other would delude himself into thinking he had struck on gold in a conversation when he just made everything odd.

“Did you need anything else for the barbecue?” Grey called out from the back door towards the group of hunters around the charcoal grill, his head poking out from the back door before he started his own passage towards the dining table with yet another salad for the meal. “More tongs or-”

“Don’t worry, we’ve got it Grey.” “More beers would be good though-” “Dean, Jo just brought out more, get one yourself you lazy asshole.” “Bitch.”

“You idjits better shut up and get me a new beer by the time you’re done arguing.” Bobby’s voice cut over whatever Sam might have said in response along with the metal ting of the tongs against the edge of the grill as he growled back at them. There was a laugh from the table and near the drinks as the two girls, closest and strangely good friends from what Will had learned, so different but so similar laughed in response to the hunter’s grumpiness as Dean kicked at the dried clumps of grass under foot.

Looking over at the trio of hunters to that side, joined quickly by the fourth male hunter at the gathering as the shadow currently going by Ben Dover for the day moved towards annoying one of his siblings and Garth Fitzgerald IV moved to the rest of his own group; Will knew that if Jack had any inkling of who was currently flipping steaks, burgers and smoking a pork butt at his house, it would be the most tempting bait to drive the FBI director towards madness.

Of the four hunters, Will had found himself connecting far more to the older hunter than either of the three closer to his own age. A man living alone a large plot of land far away from town, who preferred the company of his canine companion and the solitude of providing for ones self, was definitely someone that Will could always get along with. The gangly hunter, that Jo and Grey alike swore was a werewolf, was probably his second favorite of Jo’s little side to the family - though he had freaked Will out on their first meeting by pulling him into an exceptionally tight hug; the fact that upon releasing Will, Garth had looked shocked, asked if he was a “touch aversion type” and apologized profusely before never doing the same despite the generous bear hugs Jo and Grey alike would get upon greeting had made a soft spot in the agent’s heart for him. Sam and Dean fell somewhere together, inseparable really the same way they were in all ways that Will had seen, but the more he saw the pair and also saw them around Jo and Grey, the more he liked the pair. Dean was gruff and politically incorrect to Sam’s quiet and sass, and Will had been astounded to realize that he appreciated the both for what they had to offer.

“Alright alright, this lot is done, someone get me the fuckin’ fruit.” “Right here, Bobby!” “Well then bring it over, ya brat, I can’t cook it from over there!”

Will shook his head a little, watching as the older hunter piled one of the foil trays that Grey had brought out high with beef and chicken and even some fish burger patties before the shadow covered the tray with more tin foil and moved it towards the table while Bobby scraped off the surface. They moved in tandem that pair, as if synchronized dancers even though Will knew it was more an innate knowledge of cooking that they shared more than experience or practice.

“Girlie, where-” “Here, you old grump!” “ ‘Bout time.”

The blonde hunter had bounded over after a small amount of rummaging with a few air-tight containers at Bobby’s insistence, setting the containers down before hurrying back towards the table to help guide Mail into the correct way to set out cutlery. Will could tell the second that the first slice went down that it was that glorious sticky, spicy pineapple slices recipe that Grey had been developing and that made Will’s mouth tingle with a mix of the acid of the fruit itself, the slight heat of the spice and the natural sweetness as well as the slight crunch of the demerera sugar included that formed the best crystals of crunchy caramel when they were cooked just right. There were also fresh peaches cut and quartered that he knew were for Jo’s favorite salad and that if Hannibal was there he would have had to concede the grilled peach, mozzarella and prosciutto salad worked fantastically well on a balmy summer’s evening like this when the sun was just crossing the horizon and would finally give way to the night. He even figured there might be some watermelon for the feta and rocket salad he’d suggested they try the next time that Shada was visiting from what one of the spectacularly boring looking salads on the table looked like.

“I’ve got to say, the amount of salad is great this year, Jo.” “Oh yes, Sam, Cupcake definitely made the right choices this year!” “I’m excited to try some of them-” “Of course you are, Ombre. At least there’s no Ambrosia salad-” “What salad?!” “It’s bits of canned fruit! In marshmallow!” “Ewwwww!”

The cries from the two female shadows, their voices loud and high pitched in their disgust perking the ears of the dogs that lay about tired and nearby, curiously cocking toward the noise before all of them besides Zoe decided it wasn’t worth investigating. The small dog snuffed her way around, giving a wide berth to the shadows but looking at them curiously until she was picked up in the loving hold of the werewolf with a scratch under her chin as the group of hunter’s shook their heads at the girls’ antics.

Will found himself shaking his head with the same bemusement as he watched the pair go back and forth over why that “isn’t a salad” or “isn’t food” and then further onto the real question of “why is human food so weird sometimes” which he thought was a valid question, as the eldest hunter began to slowly take the remaining steaks and sausages, chicken strips and the vegetarian options off of the grill into respective foil packages that Sam, Dean or Grey would ferry to the dining table while Jo wrangled the lid of the smoker off with the help of Garth to pull the pork butt out; as if the greasy and somewhat unhealthy but altogether delicious meats might prove the girls’ perceptions wrong without much trouble.

“You know, this is a very old tree.” “Yes it is.” “It had deep roots.” “Yep.” “You will weather any storm with roots this deep.”

The empath wasn’t even surprise to hear the gravelly voice beside himself all of a sudden. The final member of their party for the night was always a late comer according to his best friend; and that the angel had popped in from his busy schedule to simply enjoy a barbecue with friends was touching enough. That, as Will turned slightly to look out the corner of his eye, he could see the angel staring at him in return rather than the knotted roots of the tree they were metaphorically discussing was even more touching. Of all the family, he’d been the one Will automatically connected too even more than Bobby - and giving a small smile, the empath waved a hand towards the table as the moonlight started to rise to shine over them all.

“Ready for some dinner, Cas?” “Thank you for the invitation, Will. You and yours are very accommodating.” “We try to be.”

“It is very good. You are all very good, and you should feel blessed.” Cas’ voice was somewhat tighter than usual and as Will patted a hand on the surprisingly small shoulder under his grip, the other nodded in agreement looking out as their dogs dozed, and both sides of his favorite people’s families merged and mingled together in a mass of smiles and laughter, Will knew that the words were entirely true. It was very good, they were all very good and he sure as heck felt blessed as he caught the eye of his love’s and the way their smiles both widened for him.

[hopevalley]

S6E2: Phone Rings & Heartstrings (Episode Write-Up)

You can also read this on my site here.

And here we are at the beginning of another new season! How do you feel? Like it’s been forever? Like it’s been little more than the blink of an eye? I know for me it’s a combination of both. It’s crazy to think a year has passed since S5! But we’ve made it to the next chapter of When Calls the Heart! I wonder what this season will have in store for us?

Plotlines for this episode:

Motherhood

Laura & College

The Telephone Comes to Hope Valley

Rosemary Plays Cupid

Jesse and Clara

The Saloon Closes

Not related to the episode exactly, but I noticed they didn’t reference Jack’s death directly in the “last time” clip. For a second, I thought they weren’t even going to let him have a speaking line, but they gave him half of a sentence. Also unrelated, the new part of the intro is great! I just wonder why they didn’t take the time to do new character bits for the characters, while they were at it. Some of these are pretty outdated.

So here we are at:

Plot #1: Motherhood!

I’ll admit that I was dreading this part a little bit. It’s hard to say where the line is between “teacher” and “mother.” I was afraid one might eclipse the other (and you know which one would be doing the eclipsing, because this is Hallmark). That said, I think overall they did a pretty good job of including the baby without making him this big overwhelming part of the actual story.

So, we find out that Jack Junior is four months old, making it almost May 1916.

The general ‘plot’ here is as follows: Elizabeth has to go back to work and finds it difficult. Molly, Rosemary, Florence, and Clara have agreed to take turns watching the baby, but it bothers Elizabeth that little Jack won’t have a more concrete schedule; she’d rather have a more stable arrangement.

This isn’t a very long or detailed plot, but it works. Everyone I know who had to go back to work bawled their eyes out when they had to drop their babies off at daycare. I know I would! Elizabeth finding it hard to balance being a mother and a teacher makes sense, but the best part about this is that she doesn’t consider quitting teaching for even a second.

First, I think it’s fair to say she needs the money, but second…she loves it! How can she balance Jack with teaching in a way that feels satisfying? That tells her that her child is getting the best arrangement she can afford while also allowing her to work to provide both the necessities and fun things?

Elizabeth’s slight clinginess isn’t really a shock or a surprise to me. It’s natural. She spent four months doing whatever she wanted with her life and her baby, and to have to hand him over to someone else every day for hours and hours… Well, it wouldn’t feel good.

I think the best part of this plot was that, like I said earlier, it wasn’t overdone. Nothing about it felt overdramatic or unnecessary.

And it wrapped up neatly with the next plot on the list:

Plot #2: Laura & College

Laura is out of school, now. In my opinion, it’s definitely that time. She’s gotta be about 15 or 16 by this point, and that’s when education ended for the majority of people. And it’s nice to get to see that transition, because with characters like Gabe, we just didn’t get it.

Free from the constraints of having to be in the classroom, Laura’s taken a job to help out her dad: working part-time at the mercantile. She loves to read, and devours the books Elizabeth loans her, but she’s given up on the idea of college. It costs too much money, and her dad needs her help.

Elizabeth, determined to find a way to make it work, writes to an acquaintance of hers who is an administrator of a preparatory school in Hamilton. She includes Laura’s grades and a recommendation letter.

Laura is accepted as a corresponding (or correspondence) student! It’ll let her study at home and send in her work (or maybe let her do it under Elizabeth’s supervision), so she’s still free to work and help her dad around the farm.

Unfortunately that leaves her little time to do her schoolwork…

So Elizabeth offers a solution that will benefit them both: Laura can be Jack Junior’s nanny! Then she’ll have a little downtime to work on her schoolwork, and it’ll pay more because it’ll be full-time.

Laura accepts the deal!

Again, this plot wasn’t huge or convoluted; it wasn’t dramatic. It was nice! And I loved how the general ‘motherhood concerns’ plot tied into this one. It didn’t need to be heavily intertwined at all. They just needed to connect. Which they did, and quite well.

That said, I don’t know if I’d trust a 15/16-year-old girl with no real babysitting experience to be full-time nanny of my baby! In that way, the solution is…maybe just a pinch too convenient? Wilma was established as being poor, and with a school-age child, maybe she would have been a better choice.

But I can’t deny that there’s a lot of room for future drama with this, too. Laura will have the opportunity to grow as a student and as a nanny! Maybe she’ll make mistakes. Maybe she’ll almost regret accepting it. Maybe… Well, it just leaves things open for some good future potential!

Plot #3: The Telephone Comes to Hope Valley

This plot isn’t really a very big deal, mostly because they skipped through all of the potential drama that would have happened when Abigail had to get people to actually bring the telephone to town. I guess at least Henry mentions that it couldn’t have been easy—and, on the plus side, too, it seems that any of the drama Abigail went through to get the phone there? Was kept from everyone else.

So… the telephone is coming to Hope Valley! There will be a line in the mercantile, the mayor’s office, the jail, and Lee’s office. As Henry says, that’s a good start!

The drama here is all good-natured. Ned tells the company he can definitely figure out the wiring, but uh…he can’t. 

He really can’t. He has no idea what he’s looking at, and the directions are confusing…so the big reveal for their four o’clock call is an awkward silent mess. Embarrassing, but also funny in a mostly good-natured sort of way.

The telephone company sends Fiona Miller to straighten things out, which she does, and not without a little sass (or uh, flashin’ a li’l ankle)! She’s easy to like. I hope she sticks around past the second episode, personally, but I can’t quite figure out if she’s meant to be a longstanding cast member or just one of those “couple of episode” characters. It’s easy to imagine it going either way.

Anyway, she fixes things right on up, the phone rings, and Abigail answers it.

Again, another…rather calm plot. It’s giving us a nice set-up for future plotlines by giving the cast access to a telephone. So who knows how things might go? It could be interesting.

That said, the one thing about this plot that I didn’t care for? Bill’s role as a curmudgeon. Was that really necessary? S1 through S4 Bill was a little tactless/thoughtless sometimes, and not emotionally open, but S5 and S6 Bill have been almost unbearably awful. I’ll talk more about this later, but the slight role he played here in this particular plot doesn’t even make sense for his character. He lived in the city for the majority of his life.

I’ll forgive this particular folly if the writers take it in an interesting direction—like Bill being phone-shy (because, for example, he relies a lot on body language/facial expression to have a conversation and gets super awkward on the phone, so he prefers wires due to it giving him the ability to think through what he needs to say and write it down to send). Otherwise it just comes off as more of the same with regards to the figgy pudding plot in the Christmas film: he’s just there to laugh at.

I’m worried that that’ll be the new norm, though. Incoming horrible joke: Bill shouting loudly into the telephone like he’s never used one before. (UGH. Just typing that gave me hives.)

Plot #4: Rosemary Plays Cupid

Now this plot was fun. It was also quiet, kind of muted, not really long, and definitely not meaty. But it served its purpose well. It also gave us some seriously awkward stuff to cringe over that wasn’t Bill’s character. Thank goodness!

So the gist of it is pretty simple: Rosemary decides that Faith and Carson have good teamworking skills, so she ambus—I mean, uh…sets them up! At her house, for dinner! Where everything ends up being awkward and weird, and all Faith and Carson talk about are…beans.

That’s right.

Beans.

Faith eats lots of beans because she can’t cook worth anything, and Carson…does not consume beans. Because they make him gassy. Great dinner conversation!  

Afterward, Faith and Carson start to bond a little over how awkward the dinner was (I mean, nothing brings a couple together like complaining about being set up, right?), but Carson gets carried away and says, “Doesn’t she realize how ridiculous that would be?”

Carson was probably trying to make things not-awkward, but all he did was make things…extremely awkward. The worst part (or best part, if we’re talking about the great acting these two did) was how Faith’s face the entire time is kind of like, “Oh crap, I can imagine it…and it’s not bad at all” and Carson drops that “ridiculous” line right on top of it, hurting Faith’s feelings and making everything between them vaguely awful.

Which we didn’t get too much of in this episode. They literally run into each other in the clinic and it’s awkward, but Carson just seems confused about it, and Faith is the one being avoidant.

Rosemary thinks her entire plan was a disaster, but…

Well, we know she got the ball rolling. ;)

Plot #5: Jesse and Clara

I love Jesse and Clara, and here they get a nice, simple little plotline that feels like it’s getting solved in a reasonable amount of time. They’re also both very cute the whole time.

Jesse purchases some land, which comes as a (pleasant) surprise to Clara. He takes her around pointing out where he’d like different buildings to go, and uses the pronoun ‘our’ to describe the barn. When Clara brings it up (“Our barn?”) Jesse responds in the affirmative (“Of course…our barn.”).

Unfortunately Clara thinks this is the beginning of a marriage proposal, but…it’s not. Jesse says it’ll happen eventually, but he wants to be more stable. Clara accepts this, but…it bothers her, so she talks to Abigail about it. Abigail’s advice is mostly to just…talk to Jesse about it, so Clara makes the effort, and Jesse pretty much just repeats himself: he wants to be in a better financial state.

Clara isn’t persuaded by this, because Jesse has a good job already, and gets kind of short/snippy with him. Jesse ends up coming forward and confessing that when he was younger he stole from a general store with some friends and he’s still paying the man back (the parts that his friends got away with).

All is forgiven when he admits that he wants to start with a clean slate: the real reason he hasn’t proposed yet. He doesn’t want something like that marring the beginning of their marriage together. He wants to prove that he’s a better man by making things right where he should, first.

All in all, a pretty good plot. Reasonable. Clara’s disappointment in not getting a proposal was more than understandable. They’ve been courting a long time, so I don’t blame her for thinking it had finally arrived only for it to just be generalized talk.

That said, this could have definitely been a bigger plot? So I’m surprised they left it as just this little thing. Him sending away $10/month could come across as a lot of things if anyone saw him doing it. But props to keeping this storyline simple! The only thing I think I would change is…maybe having Jesse talk to someone else in town he trusts (could have been just about anyone; if Dottie were around I’d probably suggest her, but Lee or Bill would be a good choice, too) to get the incentive to confess the truth to Clara. Even just a small scene where he looks thoughtful, maybe talks to himself a little in that ‘do I tell her’ ‘do I not’ way and then decisively puts down his tools and walks toward town would have gone a long way into making it seem like he was telling her for more reasons than because she’s being snippy and short with him.

Overall, though, a sweet and enjoyable plot. Jesse calling Clara m’dear was so cute it nearly killed me instantly.

Plot #6: The Saloon Closes

This was the meatiest plot of the episode by far, and with good reason: Tom Trevoy’s mother took ill (in a long-term sense), so he and his wife moved to Union City, but he keeps traveling back to Hope Valley to oversee his saloon, but the commute is awful and he isn’t with his family as much as he’d like, so…he decides to sell.

It’s an incredibly profitable business—or at least it has the potential to be, being the only saloon in town, as Henry mentions to Lee—so the fact that it’s going up for sale is a Pretty Big Deal.

Or at least, it is to Bill and Henry.

The short of it is that they both have half the funds ($4,500) and try to get Lee to cough up the other half for a partnership. Lee tells both of them he’ll have to discuss it with Rosemary first. Rosemary (more or less) talks both men into making this venture about her, because of course doing so will get them her approval (even though it’s clear neither of them really want to do these things for her). In the end, she and Lee are split about who they should choose. Rosemary thinks Bill is the safer investment; Lee would like to trust Henry. They disagree so thoroughly that they decide together to not partner with either of them, which leaves Bill and Henry to, uh, partner with one another. They hate the idea but end up talking about it. Unfortunately, they get their money together too late; Tom sells the bar for $1,000 over asking price to an out of town buyer.

How did the out of town buyer even find out about it in less than two days? Who knows.

Suspension of disbelief? Sure, okay. I can buy it easily enough.

Anyway, overall this plot is pretty good. Bill and Henry both make great points about one another: Bill might do the books for the café (we’ve seen him doing this), but he doesn’t oversee daily operations; he’s more or less a silent partner. Henry is definitely a businessman, but he’s had past issues with honesty and, uh, money.

They’re both risks for very different reasons.

But also, they don’t like each other, so it makes sense that they’d make these kinds of digs at each other in order to try and get the upper hand.

I think my favorite part about this plot was at the end when they were working together to try and buy the saloon. I wish we could have gotten that conversation on-screen, though; it would have been great. I’m sure it was mostly about the fact that the investment is pretty sound, they almost can’t lose with it, and do they really want to wait and let someone else buy it? At least if they own it, they can control what happens/how the space is used/et cetera.

Henry and Bill disagree on most things, but neither of them is stupid.

Henry doesn’t know enough about that type of business to be of much use actually doing the physical work involved in keeping it up and running, but he could be great at striking deals and keeping track of profits/loss. Bill knows enough about balancing books to see if Henry’s up to no good, but he’s also a very hands-on kind of guy, so I feel like he could do all right with the ground level kinds of things.

Still, I feel like a partnership between them would go belly-up pretty fast. They just don’t get along in other capacities enough to…make it work long-term, I think.

It’s definitely for the best that someone else bought it up.

But hey, for a second we were able to see Bill and Henry getting along!

Miscellaneous Thoughts:

Molly…had a hair appointment…in…Benson Hills… What? These women are not rich. That was a bad line. Literally anything else could have sufficed. She went to Benson Hills to get a pretty fabric she couldn’t get in town, for example. Or she went there to drop off donations for a church drive. There are so many other things they could have picked that wouldn’t seem ridiculous (not to mention unbelievably shallow in this time period).

Tom…HAS A WIFE???? We’re probably meant to think she’s been around from the beginning, but now it makes me sad she wasn’t around… The saloon owner’s wife could have been a really fun role for somebody to play!

Now, I promised I’d get back to it, so here we go: Bill was easily the worst part about this episode, and the sad thing is, like I’ve said before, he’s my favorite (regular) character! I don’t know why they decided to suddenly swerve Bill into old grumpy-gus curmudgeon territory, but so far there’s been no reason for it; it makes him hard to like and undoes all the character development he went through in the first four seasons. I don’t want to spit out a 3,000-word essay rant about why I hate this, but I figure it deserves a serious mention here, too. I hope this series isn’t going in the direction of making Bill the go-to laugh-at character. That isn’t good humor writing. It’s cheap and lazy. Please don’t let me down, writers.

Also, can I just say how cringey the weird “charming” parts were with Bill in them? You know what I’m talking about. These parts. UGH. They were terrible and weird. I’m not sure what was going on there; it almost feels like bad stage direction. Bill hasn’t done that since Season 2, and even then it was part of a persona he eventually ended up shedding (along with his job as a Mountie). Why bring it back now? It, too, undoes character development. I’ll be keeping a close eye on this.

There were so many random children…I’ve never seen before. I just wanted to point it out.

Why does only Abigail get the ‘modern’ looking telephone?

Baby Jack was cuter in this episode than in most of the stills, and Elizabeth’s nightgown was lovely.

Florence’s expressions aimed at Elizabeth for not leaving fast enough? Priceless. I mean, that’s a good spot of humor there. Nobody is mocking Elizabeth for having feelings, but we can have a good little chuckle at it.

Lee getting busted pretending to take a phone call was so cringey but mostly in a decent way? I don’t think Bill is so tactless he wouldn’t realize what Lee was doing (see my rant about Bill above) but it’s a situation we can all probably relate to a little bit. Nobody likes getting busted for practicing! A better way of doing this scene would be for Bill to look concerned, or amused? Like, “Who are you talking to?” or, “Talking to yourself?” to start out, with no condescension in his tone of voice. But…that’s just me.

Overall Thoughts:

This was a good first regular episode to the season. It definitely gives me hope about the episodes to come! Bring on the good content!

[the-jam-to-the-unicorn]

Candy For Grandmother

Summary: Gaston likes Grandma Dupont, the old lady in the village. Every Christmas he brings her candy. When her granddaughter (reader) moves to the village, he might have another reason to visit the old lady.

Rated: No smut.

Note: Fluff, Gaston, Gaston x Reader

Warnings: none

Words: 2935

Author note: Requested by an anon. Based on an AU, you can find here. AU from @dailyau. Enjoy everyone! Feedback is very welcome. :-) (Btw, that is my first try with character x reader. And English isn’t my first language and I have no beta at the moment, so please excuse mistakes.)

For years your mother tried to marry you to some rich man. The family name was a big one, your father is a very successful merchant, so everyone knew, you would inherited a lot of money one day. And your mother was particular happy about the fact you were beautiful and “blessed with wide hips, ideal for childbirth”. You had three other sisters and they all were successfully married. Your two brothers were married too. But you didn’t want to marry some rich bloke, you couldn’t stand. To be honest, every man you’ve met was boring. No one had caught your interest. And no one shared your interests. And a girl, who loves riding, the hunt and couldn’t care less about flowers and dresses wasn’t the ideal housewife, according to your mother.

So, it was a relief, when your mother FINALLY gave up. But she wasn’t very happy and neither was your father.

“You should do something with your life, (Y/N)”, he told you one day and you agreed.

You were tired of the big balls and feasts of Paris, of hours and hours in the tailoring or the endless and boring tea hours with the daughters from the other families, who all couldn’t wait to marry someone rich and get children and be a happy, naïve and little lovely wife.

Yes, Paris was the most beautiful city, but it could be incredibly boring. And you preferred the nature and country side much more.

One day, your father called you into his office and showed you a letter from your grandmother. She lived somewhere in France and was in the lead of a farm – and she needed help, but most of all company. She was getting old and the farm was no longer profitable. Your father knew, you were clever and you’ve learned everything from him. Mostly, because you were the only one, besides his sons, who cared for the family business. So, the moment he asked you to move to your grandmother, you said “yes”, without a second thought.

  You hadn’t seen your grandmother in a long time. She came once a year to Paris to visit everyone. Besides that, she only wrote letters. Grandmama Dupont was a lovely woman and you loved her very much. She wasn’t very tall and she was very old, but still very clever and agile.

You arrived at the farm on a summer day and you felt incredible happy. Finally you were far, far, far away from Paris and annoying, social obligations and you could ride and hunt and most of all do, whatever and whenever you felt like it.

You quickly settled down in the big house and the small village, which was right next to the farm, was lovely and you really liked it. In the first months, everyone eyed you suspicious, but you quickly gained their trust.

Your grandmother spend most of her days helping you, but whenever she had time, she would go riding or hunting. Sometimes you saw her with a black haired guy, who was waiting for her at the forest. But you never saw him at the farm. You never asked your grandma, because it wasn’t your business.

  You finally met him, when it was Christmas.

You were in the kitchen and cooked the Christmas dinner, when you heard a soft knock on the front door.

“One second!”

You put the deer, your grandmother brought early that day back home, into the oven and rushed to the door. When you opened the door, you looked into the most handsome face you’ve ever seen.

With a puzzled look, the man looked at you.

“I’m…looking for Mamie Dupont?!”

“My grandmère? She is in the village.”

“Oh.”

The man starred at you for a second. That young girl in front him, was very beautiful. He blinked, realising he was staring at you.

“I’m sorry. You are here granddaughter?”

“Yes.”

“Ah. She told me about you.”

“Did she?”

You raised an eyebrow.

“Yes. She talked about you. Sometimes. When we’re hunting.”

“Oh! You’re the guy who accompanies her.”

“Yeah, I’m that guy.”

The man showed a bright smile and you wondered, how someone could have such an amazing smile. You looked closer at him. He was tall, very tall. His dark brown (or was it black?) hair was perfectly coiffed in a ponytail, his face was almost clean-shaven, just some little stubbles were visible and they suited him. His eyes were mesmerizing. His face was perfect: the concise chin, the high cheekbones, the full lips. And his suit was well-tailored. He was the definition of perfection and looked like one of these Grecian statues you’ve read bout.

Too late you realized, he was talking with you. You were too busy with looking at him.

“What did you say?”

He showed another perfect smile.

“I said, my name is Gaston.”

“Oh. I’m (Y/N). Nice to meet you, Gaston.”

“Pleasure is all mine.”

You shook his hand and smiled.

“Gaston?!”

He turned around and behind him was your grandmother.

“Hello, Mamie Dupton.”

“Of course, you would come. You’re such a sweet guy. Oh, and LeFou is waiting for you at the gate.”

“I know.”

Gaston smiled and pulled something out of his coat.

“This is for you.”

He gave your grandmother a small package and a big smile appeared on her face.

“Thank you very much. Have a lovely Christmas.”

“I’ll try. You too.”, he added and walked down the stairs.

You looked after him, while your grandmother was entering the house. Before you closed the door, Gaston was turning around, looked at you, smiled and waved. You waved back and for some reason, you were blushing.

You quickly closed the door and went back to the oven.

“So, that’s the guy, you always meet for hunting?”

“Yeah, Gaston. Sweet boy, poor boy. His family his horrible. Father drinks and is aggressive, mother is basically not existing. I met him some years ago, when I was in the woods and he tried to hunt a deer. Poor boy nearly got killed. I’ve teached him everything I know about hunting and sometimes he’s helping me with the farm. He’s actually a hero, you know.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You remember the war we had many years ago?”

“Father told me about it.”

“Gaston defended the village. He’s our hero.”

“My, what a guy, that Gaston.”

“Yeah, he’s some kind of paragon. Everyone’s admiring him.”

You nodded and moved to the next topic.

But you couldn’t stop thinking about that Gaston.

  As it turned out, your grandmother didn’t made an understatement. Everyone really loved Gaston. Especially three brunette girls who would follow him wherever he went.

The more time you spent in the village, the more you heard about “the Great Gaston” and “his adventures”. And you realized, he was pretty bigheaded, a narcissist. And while you didn’t met him earlier, you now met him nearly every time you visited the village. You never talked much, just “Hello” and “Goodbye”.

And while your grandmother never had mentioned him earlier, she now would talk about him now and then. Listening to her, it felt like, she was talking about a different Gaston. But maybe, your grandmother was just old.

  For the next two years, nothing changed.

You learned more about Gaston from your grandmother and heard a lot of stories from the villagers or saw Gaston in public. Gaston wasn’t really the most likable person, but you couldn’t say you disliked him. It…was hard to put in words. There was something about him, something special and everyone could see it. But you sometimes got the feeling, there were two Gastons.

On your fourth Christmas, you saw the package again. It was the same, Gaston gave your grandmother some years ago.

“What’s that?”, you asked curious.

“Gaston’s Christmas present.”

“What’s the present?”

“Candy.. I’ll get it every year.”

“Candy?”

Your grandmother smiled widely and opened the package.

“Yes. And it’s delicious! It’s homemade.”

“You’re telling me, that the Great Gaston is making his own candy?!”

Your Grandmother rolled her eyes.

“He’s not a bad guy. Just…complicated.”

You raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

  The next day, Gaston knocked at your door and you were surprised to see him.

“Gaston, what you’re doing here?!”

“I’m invited?!”

“You are?”

“Yes, he is!”, you heard your grandmothers voice from the background. “He is going to celebrate Christmas with us.”

You let him in and your grandmother hugged him.

“You’re going to love (Y/N)’s dinner! Best Christmas dinner you’ve ever tried.”

You felt your cheeks blushing.

“Grandma is exaggerating, very much. Before I moved to her, I couldn’t cook a potato. She showed me how to cook.”

“Yes, and she is very good. A perfect wife.”

You gave your grandmother a dirty look.

“Did you know, she’s also a good hunter?”, your grandmother continued.

“Really?!”

Gaston seemed surprised.

“Well, like grandmother, like granddaughter.”

You laughed a bit.

“Why don’t you two talk about hunting and riding and I finish our meal. (Y/N), have I told you, that Gaston is the best hunter in the village?!”

“You’ve mentioned it.”

“It’s true. I am. No one is better than me, expect your grandmother.”

“I’m sure there are other people who are good.”

“Yeah, maybe. But I’m the best.”

You nodded slowly.

“Tell her about the one time, you killed the bear!”, you heard your grandmother from the kitchen.

Gaston grinned and looked at you.

“Want to hear a story?”

You sighed and smiled.

“Do I have choice?”

“Not really.”, Gaston answered and for a brief second you thought, he winked.

  In the end, the evening was pretty nice. In the beginning, Gaston was full of himself and the narcissist you knew, but the more you two talked, the more he stopped being an idiot. Gaston was, for sure, a really interesting person with an interesting life. He had a lot to tell and listened to you and your stories and seemed genuinely interested. You felt a bit of sadness, when he had to go.

  After this Christmas, something changed. Whenever you two met, you would talk with each other. Sometimes, he would escort you through the village, helping you with your purchases. He was also helping a lot more at the farm. And sometimes you would accompany your grandmother and him for a hunt or you two were just riding out and talked.

Yes, he was a narcissist and sometimes he could be an idiot, but there was also a nice, very sensitive side he showed sometimes, when the two of you were alone.

At some point, you realized, you two were friends and you liked him very, very much.

Sometimes, when he was visiting the farm, he brought flowers. And sometimes, when your grandmother returned from village, she had flowers too – from Gaston.

“I wonder, why he’s giving you flowers.”, you said at one point to your grandmother.

“Oh, they are not mine. They are for you.”

Surprised you looked at her.

“Why should he give me flowers?”

Your Grandmother just smiled.

“Oh, dear (Y/N), you’ll find out. By the way, have I told you that one time, Gaston…”

You rolled your eyes and listened to another Gaston story from grandmother.

  At the next Christmas, Gaston was invited too. Like always, he brought candy. A long time ago, you had found out, he did this since many, many years. And your grandmother was right. The candy was delicious.

And your grandmother wouldn’t stop talking about you two.

“Isn’t it a shame, (Y/N), that such a handsome and nice guy like Gaston, isn’t married?!”

“If you say so, grand-mère.”

“And Gaston, can you believe it, that such a sweet and clever woman like (Y/N) isn’t married yet.”

“Hardly.”, Gaston answered and smiled at you.

Your cheeks blushed – a thing they did, whenever Gaston was smiling at you.

“And I think, it’s so lovely you two go hunting.”

“Well, it’s hard to find company who can keep up with me.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, we know. You’re the best hunter ever.”

Gaston grinned.

“It’s true!”

“Ha! The last times, I was better.”

“You think so.”

“I was!”

“Look at you two. Bickering like an old married couple.”

You two stopped and looked at your grandmother.

“Well, time to get the dessert.”

And before you could say anything, your grandmother rushed to the kitchen.

“Married couple…grand-mère tries to be funny.”, you muttered under your breath.

Gaston looked at you and cleared his throat.

“Yeah. She’s a lovely woman.”

“Yeah.”

There was silence.

“But why aren’t you married? I mean, every guy in the village would marry you immediately.”

“Well, I guess, I haven’t found the right man. I want to marry someone, because I love him. I want someone, who respects me and my interests. What about you?”

“Well, I have to admit, it’s highly unusual that guy like me, isn’t married…”, he started and you rolled your eyes and Gaston grinned “…but I guess, it’s the same. Haven’t found the right woman.”

“Really? Not one of the Bimbettes?!”, you joked.

“I would never marry one of them.”, he said and suddenly, he sounded very serious.

“Too dumb?”

“Maybe. But, I want a strong woman. Of course, a woman who wants kids and be my lovely wife, but also a wife, who is self-confident.”

You smiled and there was silence again. Suddenly, Gaston chuckled.

“What?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Come on. What’s so funny.”

“It’s just…your grandmother praised you so much…at one point, she even told me…”

He stopped and looked down at his plate.

“She told what?”

“Nothing, really. Forget it.”

“Come on. Whatever it is, tell me. I mean, she talked about you so much and praised you so much. I know, what you’re talking about. At some point, she even suggested, we should go out. Can you imagine?!”

You laughed. Gaston didn’t laugh.

“Would you?”

“What?”

“Go out with me?”

Taken aback you looked at him.

“Well…I mean…why not?! Spending time with you is always great. And it would make grand-mère happy.”

Gaston smiled a bit.

“Yeah, that’s true.”

“We should do it.”

“Do what?”

“Go out. Maybe grand-mère will stop, if we go out.”

Gaston went silent for some seconds and nodded.

“Okay. Let’s go out. For mamie.”

“For grand-mère.”, you answered and raised your glass.

“Here is the dessert!”

Your grandma entered the room and you looked at Gaston and you both started laughing.

  Two nights later, you two would go…on a date. On the one side, it felt strange to go on a date with Gaston. But on the other side, you felt really nervous…and excited. And you couldn’t say way. Your grandma was very excited and when Gaston picked you up, she had the biggest smile on her face.

“Have a lovely night!”

  The night was lovely. You two went to Gaston’s house and he cooked for you. Later, you went to the tavern, where everyone was celebrating and you danced the whole night. You couldn’t remember the last time, you had so much fun and felt so happy.

It was nearly morning, when Gaston escorted you back to your house. You talked about this and that and when you arrived at the house, you sat down at the steps and continued talking. When you started freezing, Gaston put his jacket around your shoulders. You smiled at him and continued to talk.

At some point you yawned and you two walked up the stairs.

“Thanks for the lovely night. I had a lot of fun.”

“Me too.”

You two smiled at each other.

“Maybe we should do this again. You know, for mamie.”, he suggested.

“Yeah, sounds like plan.”

You two stopped in front of the door and looked into each other eyes. You felt something in your stomach…and your heart jumped. Gaston’s eyes were really beautiful and mesmerizing. He looked up and you followed his gaze. A mistletoe. You couldn’t remember, it had been there before.

“Looks like, we’re standing under a mistletoe.”, Gaston said and looked at you again.

“Yes.”

“Isn’t there some myth?!”

“You have to share a kiss under a mistletoe or you have bad luck with love.”, you answered and looked briefly at Gaston’s lips.

For a second you wondered, what it would feel like, to kiss these full lips, who looked so soft. Gaston looked at you and put his hand on your cheek.

“Well…we don’t need more bad luck…right?!”

“No…”

You swallowed and Gaston’s face came closer.

“To be honest, I enjoyed the night very much.”

“Me too.”

“And I wanted to ask you out for a while. I was glad mamie suggested it.”

“Why didn’t you ask?”

“I wasn’t sure, what the answer would be.”

“Why on earth could the Great Gaston be shy?”

“Because I…have feelings for you.”

You felt your breathing stopping.

“And I really want to kiss you right now, but not, if you don’t want it.”

And with that, you kissed him. You felt, how Gaston was putting his arms around you and you put his hands on his chest. And kissing Gaston was the most beautiful thing, you’ve ever did.

[misssophiachase]

I'm back and reblogging because I forgot to add the link and have since changed the chapter FYI.  

Southern Comfort

Chapter 15: You Were Always on my Mind

July 31, 2016 - 100 Days until the US General Election

"You said you loved him?" Bonnie exclaimed.

"Shhhh! Geez, I don't think they heard you in New York, Bon," she muttered, looking around to make sure no one was eavesdropping, this was Jefferson so Caroline wouldn't be surprised. At least Emma wasn't around, well she hoped so anyway because otherwise it would be all over town by lunchtime. They were currently decorating Matt's campaign office in anticipation of the big launch that afternoon. Lexi and a few of the other locals had all come out in support to help prepare for the big event.

Being a control freak, Caroline had taken on much of the responsibility herself and was pleasantly happy with the results. She'd invited people from far and wide and the extensive guest list was a good sign that Matt's popularity was growing in the region. They'd spent the past day travelling around to neighbouring towns and given their immediate recognition of the Democratic candidate, Caroline knew they were making serious headway. There was still a long way to go though.

"Stop changing the subject," she insisted. "So, it's really serious between you two then?"

"Well, yes, um, I mean no," she stammered, her face suddenly feeling hot as a telling blush spread across her cheeks. "I don't know. In my defence, I did say I thought I was falling in love with him, there is a difference."

"Mmmm, semantics. I'm glad you cleared that all up for me, Care," she drawled, sarcastically.

"Well excuse me if I was in a state of post orgasmic bliss when the words fell out of my mouth," she argued. "I mean that guy has talents; many, many talents, Bonnie."

"I figured, you know given you didn't emerge straight away," she chuckled. "But it's not like you to say something you don't mean Care, you're one of the most honest people I know even if you do work in politics."

"Hilarious," she groaned.

"Just answer me this then," she prodded. "Do you feel the same way as you did about Tyler?" Caroline was silent for a moment processing what her friend said. She was so young and naive when she was with her ex-boyfriend, she thought she loved him but there was intensity with Nik that had been missing with Tyler. Was it just physical or was it something much more? Caroline was pretty certain she knew but the answer scared the hell out of her. "That prolonged silence speaks volumes."

"Even so, I don't want to get hurt like I did with him, it would be too much to take, Bonnie."

"You grew apart, as devastating as it felt at the time your break-up was the best thing to happen. If you ask me Nik came along just at the right time."

"But he lives here and I live in LA," she bit out, the annoying elephant in the room rearing its ugly head. "It would never work so I have no idea why I'm entertaining something so impossible..."

"You can't help who you love, Care. Geography can be overcome if you really want to make it work."

"I think we are getting a bit ahead of ourselves," she murmured, thinking about Nik's feelings. "I mean he didn't really confirm or deny anything."

"He told you that if you continued to say you loved him then he might never want to let you go. If that isn't a confirmation of him reciprocating his feelings then I don't know what is, Care."

"You memorised all of that?"

"What can I say, I'm a sucker for a beautiful, romantic gestures and that's swoon worthy," she shared. "I'm thinking of using it in my erotic novel, do you think Nik would mind? Well, that and the naked seduction by cowboy hat. That was ingenious by the way." Caroline took the opportunity to look around again, that information she definitely didn't need to be made public. It was bad enough they tracked their every move in this town.

"Shhh," she hissed, before realising what she'd revealed. "Erotic novel?

"Everyone's doing it these days and if E.L James can make a profit from mediocre writing I figured why not, under a pseudonym of course."

"The things you find out about your friends," she commented. "Anyway, I'd prefer that stay between us, well and Nik. That is the last thing I want little Emma to be spreading around town as well as Los Angeles and London."

"Speaking of Los Angeles, have you heard from Katherine?" Bonnie had been immediately interested by the unfolding situation between her and Elijah, especially given their initial animosity and the mystery surrounding their current situation.

"Bits and pieces," Caroline replied. "Apparently she's showing him the sights."

"Does she mean the Walk of Fame and the Hollywood Sign or is that Katherine code for something more decidedly intimate?"

"Who the hell knows, she's been infuriatingly silent on the subject," Caroline scoffed. If she hadn't been so confused about her deep feelings for Nik she probably would have done more investigating but Katherine was a big girl and could take care of herself, well Caroline hoped so anyway.

"Maybe I need to pay a visit to LA and get some extra material for my novel from Katherine," she quipped. "But back to you and Nik, what are you going to do now?"

"I haven't seen him since the morning after, well you know," she replied another blush crossing her face unexpectedly. "I had to leave town with Matt so we didn't have time to debrief, if you know what I mean?"

"Oh, no wonder you're so skittish," Bonnie surmised. "You haven't had the talk about what this all means."

"I just wish I didn't say the love thing first, there's always so much pressure on the other person to return the sentiment."

"We already discussed the fact that he pretty much did," Bonnie shot back. "I think you need to stop worrying about that and..."

"You realise I expect all the gossip tonight right, Caroline?" Lexi interrupted, a knowing smile plastered on her face. "I had to put up with Mrs Downing telling me all about her new herb garden when I could have been revelling in some juicy Nik and Caroline goodness."

"Really Lexi?"

"Oh come on Caroline, it's the least I deserve," she begged. "Living vicariously through you is all I've got and I'm more than willing to repay you with those cooking lessons I promised, you know to surprise Nik."

"Good luck with that," Bonnie snorted. "Everything Caroline has ever cooked me has been either raw or burnt to a crisp. She doesn't do anything in between, just so you know."

"I'm willing to persevere if it means I can relive my pre-married love life before kids, a farm and an election," she scoffed. "You girls don't know how good you've got it."

"You might change your mind if you had to spend the previous few nights with Kol Mikaelson," Bonnie explained. "I can only take so much shameless attempts to throw himself at me."

"He's cute and British," Lexi offered. "You know, he can't be all that bad."

"He's also a successful stockbroker," Caroline put forward.

"Is there something in the water in this place? You have a drink with someone and suddenly you're soulmates and everyone is sitting there already planning your upcoming nuptials," Bonnie drawled. "Just so you know an accent, looks and a stable job isn't enough to convince me he's future husband material. We're just not suited, plain and simple. How about we leave the Mikaelsons up to Caroline and Katherine for now."

"Did I hear my name in vain?" A curious voice enquired. Caroline looked over and into his blue eyes, her chest constricting slightly from his arrival. All she wanted to do was pick up where they left off from but thought better of it given all their present and talkative company.

"We were just talking about how wonderful Kol is," Bonnie joked.

"Oh no what did he do now?"

"It's okay, that wild and enthusiastic persistence is strangely growing on me. He's kind of like a real life energizer bunny," Bonnie teased. "Where is he by the way?"

"Scarfing down a plate of Ruby's pancakes, he can't get enough of them," Klaus chuckled. "And here I thought he didn't like anything about the country. Plus he hates manual labour so I'm fairly certain when I mentioned I was coming here to assist he made other plans."

"How convenient," Lexi smiled.

"Hi Klaus," a familiar little voice interrupted, looking up at him adoringly with those big, brown eyes.

"If it isn't Princess Emma," he grinned, scooping the little girl into his arms. She was dresed all in pink as usual, her dark haired pigtails bobbing around her face. Caroline thought it was the cutest thing she'd ever seen. "How are you today?"

"Dad said I could wear whatever I liked to the party."

"Oh let me guess, is it going to be pink?"

"It is," she giggled, obviously impressed he knew what she liked. "Have you kissed Caroline today? I mean that's what boyfriend and girlfriends do right? Tommy James tried to kiss me in the playground the other day but I wouldn't because I actually like Jamie Smith instead." They were all silent, unsure of what to say about that rambling comment but knowing the person it came from it wasn't that surprising given how direct Emma was. Caroline felt her cheeks flush, trust Emma to throw something out there right now.

"Uh no not yet, Emma," he uttered, finally finding words.

"How about I take little Miss Big Mouth now?" Lexi asked, grabbing her daughter from his outstretched arms. "Bonnie, there's actually something really important I need to talk to you about over there too." The three of them scurried away, Caroline's gaze firmly on the ground trying to hide her utter embarrasment.

"You know if you wanted a kiss, all you needed to do was ask, love," Klaus smirked, placing his finger under her chin and pulling her face upwards so their eyes met."You don't need to get five year-olds to say completely inappropriate things."

"You're hilarious."

"Well, I like to think so," he quipped. "So, about that kiss then?"

"I'd rather not given everyone is watching us right now," she mumbled, noticing the eager interest of all the onlookers. As much as they'd all love some PDA, Caroline didn't feel like putting on a show. He looked mildly disappointed and she felt bad but she couldn't deny the residual awkwardness after their first night together. "Maybe later."

"I'll hold you to that," he said. "Although Kol is still hanging around so I don't like our chances of privacy."

"I'm sure Bonnie can babysit if we need it," she grinned, her intial awkwardness being taken over by her overwhelming desire for him. She couldn't blame her urges, it had been a while after all.

"Meet me at my dam later, I know you've been there before so I doubt you need any directions," he suggested, raising his eyebrows. "Given the stifling temperature I'm pretty certain you'll be desperate for some cool relief later."

"That depends," she drawled. "Are you going to take my clothes again and hold me hostage?"

"I think we both know that's a given, love," he smirked knowingly.

"You're on, Mikaelson."

Read the rest HERE

[seanmalatesta]

How to Deliver Wow Experiences

A few years ago, Gail, my daughter Marissa, and I spent three weeks in Italy. It was our first visit. I had high expectations, but I still wasn’t prepared for the warmth of the people or the richness and variety of wine and food. I felt like every day was a new and even better experience than the day before.

The highlight of the trip was our stay in Castello Banfi in Tuscany. 

Everything about Banfi was amazing. Our rooms were luxurious—spacious with exquisite finishes, fine linens, plush towels, and windows opening to Banfi’s vast vineyards. We toured the world-renowned winery, one of Europe’s largest. We sampled several of their wines, including my favorite, the Banfi Brunello di Montalcino.

The highlight of our visit was a cooking class. (I can’t believe I am writing this—a cooking class!) When the girls said they wanted to do it, I rolled my eyes. While I consider myself a foodie, I’ve never really enjoyed cooking—at least not before my experience at Banfi.

We met Chef Domenico Francone at a rustic but beautiful farmhouse next to one of the vineyards. It looked like a picture out of a magazine. We were surprised—and delighted—to discover that he was the head pastry chef at the hotel’s main restaurant. (After our visit, he was promoted to Executive Chef of that same restaurant.)

He was warm, funny, and patient. His English was excellent. He assured us that we were going to have a great time together—and we did.

We cooked a sumptuous four-course meal, including pappa pomodoro with maremma bufalo burrata, tagliatelle with chianina ragout, veal filet with porcini mushrooms, Banfi plums and potatoes, and a chocolate lava cake.

When we finished cooking, we ate our meal together on the shaded porch, while the chef waited on us. He paired each course with a different wine. The entire experience took four-and-a-half hours, and I savored every moment of it. It was truly a wow experience—probably one of my top three of all time.

What Is Wow?

In my book, Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World, I spent the first section of the book talking about wow experiences. It’s something that has always fascinated me. I shared about the importance of creating them and how to engineer them for your prospects and customers. This has become so important to us at Michael Hyatt & Company that Relentless Wow is now one of our eight core values.

Here’s how we define it:

We create interactions, products, services, and experiences that exceed our fans’ and customers’ expectations.

That last word (expectations) is the key. Creating wow is all about exceeding the expectations of your target audience. Let me explain. 

When people encounter you, your company, or your products, they come with a set of expectations. These expectations are informed by their past experiences and, perhaps, their hopes for the future. They are largely unconscious. Nevertheless, they are real and shape their perception of what you have to offer.

If you don’t meet their expectations, they’ll be disappointed. If you fall really short, they might even be angry. This is the main reason we fail to close the sale or retain our customers. People will not do business with companies that disappoint them.

If you meet their expectations, they’ll be satisfied. At one time, customer satisfaction was enough. In fact, that was the goal. But today, that’s not sufficient. According to Microsoft, consumers worldwide had 54 percent higher customer service expectations in a recent year than they did just one year prior. The stakes are getting higher all the time. You must offer more.

Now, if you exceed their expectations, they’ll be wowed. This is the realm of surprise and delight. This is also the kind of experience that creates customer loyalty and referrals. When people experience wow, they can’t help talking about it. 

Relentless wow is why I’ve been a loyal Apple customer for fifteen years. It’s why I’m on my third BMW and intend to buy another one next year. It’s why Gail and I spend a couple of weeks a year vacationing at Blackberry Farm in East Tennessee and will definitely return to Banfi.

Now you might be tempted to argue with my specific product choices. After all, there are less expensive alternatives. Other products may even have more features. But so far, none have created the kind of overall customer experience that these have for me. 

Wow is also great for the bottom line. Current research indicates that 55 percent of customers are willing to pay more for a guaranteed good experience. And 86 percent will pay more for an upgraded experience. And they’ll talk about it. Seventy-two percent of consumers will share their positive experience with six or more people.

If you want more customers and hope to retain the ones you have, you have to get really great at creating wow experiences.

So, How Do You Create Wow?

It is not that difficult to create wow if you have a process for doing so. Here’s my five-step process. By the way, I’m going to use the word product to keep it simple, but this could also be a service.

Step 1. Pick a product: What is the product or service for which you want to create a wow experience?

Step 2: Clarify the outcome: What do you want your customers or prospects to feel as a result of their experience with your product or service?

Step 3: List customer expectations: What specific expectations does your typical prospect or customer have for this product before they encounter you?

Step 4: Understand failure to meet those expectations: What does failing to meet your prospects’ or customers’ expectations look like?

Step 5: Plan to exceed their expectations: What does exceeding your prospects’ or customers’ expectations look like?

Recently, Pete Vargas had me on his podcast, Inside the Green Room. It’s a podcast for speakers and event planners. He had just attended our Focused Leader event in Nashville and, in his own words, was “blown away at the level of excellence” he experienced. He asked, “how do you produce an event like that?”

I started by quoting Oprah, who once said, “Love is in the details”—and it is. When it comes to wow, every detail matters. I then explained how we applied my five-step process to this experience.

Step 1. Pick a product. In this case, it was our Focused Leader conference. (In my book Platform, I give the example of reengineering our office lobby.)

Step 2: Clarify the outcome. We always aim for transformation. Our goal is not merely transferring information. It’s not even facilitating application. No, we want people to experience transformation. Specially, we want people to leave the conference feeling certain they can lead with greater confidence, executing against their most important goals and doing so by actually spending less time working.

Step 3: List customer expectations. At this point, we wrote out a list of the specific expectations people have when they come to a conference like ours. For example:

They expect to be jammed together in seats that are too close together.

They expect to take notes on their laps, probably in their own planner or on a legal pad.

They expect infrequent breaks and bad coffee.

They expect poorly merchandised products at the back of the room.

They expect good, but not great presentations and mediocre slides.

They expect to have to figure out how to apply what they learn on their own.

Step 4: Understand failure. If we met those expectations, no one would have been disappointed. But they certainly wouldn’t have been wowed either. And worse, the likelihood of them going deeper with us in the customer journey would be unlikely.

Step 5: Plan to exceed their expectations. This was the fun part. We considered each of the customer expectations and brainstormed ways to exceed them. For example:

Instead of jamming together the seats, we made sure we had comfortable chairs and gave people plenty of space.

Instead of forcing people to take notes on their laps, we provided classroom style tables. We also provided a beautifully typeset, full-color conference notebook. It was designed to guide them through the learning experience, helping them apply what they learned, and facilitating the transformation we were after.

Instead of infrequent breaks, we provided plenty of “white space,” with breaks every hour. We also mixed up the learning modalities, including lectures, personal exercises, small group discussions, and open Q&A. We also brought in a specialty coffee vendor who provided excellent coffee and a variety of snacks.

Instead of poorly merchandised products at the back of the room, we created a Full Focus Store, which was like a high-end bookstore that was well-lit and well-staffed with people who know our products inside and out.

Instead of good presentations and mediocre slides, we did our best to provide great presentations and professionally designed slides.

Instead of letting our attendees try to figure out how to apply the content, we worked hard to create frameworks, models, exercises, and tools to enable them to internalize what they learned.

Again, this is just one example, I have used this exact same framework to write my books, plan our annual employee retreats, develop our courses, and even design our office. I’ve used it in my personal life too, especially for creating extraordinary experiences for my family.

How Can You Apply It?

So where could you create more wow in your business? How could you take a product or service to the next level and exceed your customers’ expectations? Where could wow make the biggest difference?

And by the way, this framework works for nonprofit organizations too. This includes churches, synagogues, healthcare organizations, and even educational institutions. Each has members, donors, or sponsors. In fact, in some ways, it can be easier in these industries because people often come with very low expectations. If you want to stand out, bake in the wow!

If you’re serious about creating wow, I suggest you schedule a couple of hours with your team and brainstorm the possibilities. Identify one product or service and purpose to take it to the next level. It’s worth the effort, especially if you want to ramp up the growth of your business and leave the competition in the dust.

from Michael Hyatt, Your Virtual Mentor https://ift.tt/337MeQN via IFTTT

[papermoth-bird-blog]

Austin: Tan lines in Texas (and an introduction to an Ashram in Arizona)

(okay, so I’ll note I’m actually writing this from Arizona, but the last few days have been a blur & it was hard to find time to write. Love to whoever is reading this.)

Austin was a great idea. Again, would have been made easier if I had a car, but it’s a good thing I made friends here. Or I should say- It’s a good thing my friends hooked me up with their friends that still live in Austin (particularly Kyle!)

Still been eating really good food. And by that, I mean in large part American comfort food. I have fully become addicted to tacos and have at least one a day.. (okay yeah, I’ve always had a burrito problem). I’ve pretty much conquered/eaten all the southern/tex-mex/austin staples. On top of that I had that I had the best bowl of Ramen I’ve ever had. I’ve also had a lot of juice/smoothies.. cause they love that here, for whatever reason. The sun came out & lifted my spirits tremendously. I spent so much time ‘playing’ outside. Barton creek is a really beautiful water body- Mediterranean blue! Right in the middle of the city. I’m glad that I started a morning pilgrimage to Zilker’s park to have tree-time. Some of my best memories from Austin were made there.

Kyle’s friend Marlon (who performs under the name Tasi) invited me out to a kinda institution/dive venue (a la Gus’ Pub but much bigger) to watch some people perform who were in the local indie scene.Turns out, one of the performer’s was Charlie from Hovvdy- a band I’d seen play earlier in the week. That was a really great night out. I feel like I was finally around people that reminded me of my friends back home- musicians, leftys, artists. It was really nice chatting to them all & making friends. It was grounding at a time that I felt a little more adrift. Marlon was super kind & totally hooked me up with a bunch of art shows & music shows for the rest of the week- not to mention introduced me to a lot of cool people.  I told him I’d repay the favour if he ever came up to Canada- and I hope he takes me up on it (I feel like he’s the type to). I also made friend’s with the bartender that night because apparently I am the doppleganger of her childhood best friend Katie. She even showed me pictures... it was a little weird, we did look oddly similar. If anything, it just made me feel that string-like guide of strange circumstances that has lead me along this wandering journey. So I kinda nodded my head instead of getting actually weirded out. Stranger and stranger everyday- and so, less strange overall. ‘Tis the life of a witch, I suppose.

The following evening was the BIG night I’d been awaiting since I started this trip- I went to see Jonathan Richman. It was a short set, which, not gonna lie, induced some skepticism. HOLY MOLY it was a great show. It filled me with so much joy and I danced through the whole set all by myself. He was so silly & playful- which made for a really engaging & flowing performance. Despite the overtone of hipstery-indifference, he pulled a lot of audience participation out of the crowd. We worshipped the sun together & sang praises for the summer feeling that arrived in Austin earlier that day. He also played a couple of his older hits (which I didn’t except, cause I was told he didn’t really play those anymore). The whole time there was this one guy full-fan-girling next to me. I kinda think he was freaking Jojo out. I’d probably have been weirded out to. By virtue of us being right beside each other in the front row, it meant that that Jojo was looking at me in the eyes (and boobs) all night. Which felt kinda weird, but kinda special. (haha). He also pranced around the stage with maracas which put me in a good mood. Strangely enough, he wasn’t the only one to whip out the maracas. Later on that night, I went to see another country band. The lead singer was decked out in Rhinestone Cowboy apparel. Sure enough, he whipped out the maracas eventually too. I guess something is in the air- mostly Maracas. 

My final day in Austin reached a high of 31 degrees. I walked around in shorts and a bathing suit all day- whispering to myself reminders that it was february. It put a lightness in my heart. I skipped around town, eating my favourite foods & got ice cream. I met up with a friend too & went swimming. We basked in the sun & talked about the future & travel. He just came back from hiking the Appalachian trail (which took 6 months). I quizzed him endlessly about it. It certainly sounds intimidating, but incredibly rewarding. It’s definitely something that’s doggy-eared on my travel wishlist. I mean- walking from Georgia to Maine! Can you imagine!! All throughout some of the most beautiful sections of mountains the world has to offer. Reading ‘Wild’ has certainly been encouraging me along this thought plain too. 

Later that night I went to a friend’s birthday party at a really boogie secret bar. I felt out of place, cause I was wearing cut off jean shorts & a ripped t-shirt & a bandana- definitely not exactly the vibe. It was a good time anyway & all the waiters had cute Irish Accents. Later in the night Brandon & I took off to go to another party across town, after picking up some more of his friends. I was flying to Pheonix the next day & mentally preparing myself for Ashram life. It felt a little odd to be around so many people doing coke- but if anything, it just confirmed that I feel really good about staying sober & living my life on the path I am travelling on. All the people there knew each other from high school (mostly Anderson high... which if I’m not mistaken is the high school in Dazed & Confused). It definitely brought me back to high school in a way- not that the conversations were particularly high school like (well maybe), but more so reminded me how I felt in high school. That just because I could get along with everybody & find things to talk about, doesn’t mean they are “my people”. I was just filled with pangs of gratitude for the people I have back home that make me feel so fulfilled & supported & loved wholly. It makes it easy to be away & explore knowing that. 

In some ways, I’ve seen flashes of every version of myself I’ve ever been. I’ve had moments that reminded me of my childhood. I’ve had moments reminding me of my adolescence. And along the way- I’ve found ways to make peace with the trouble some of those memories bring to me. Soothing me, teaching me, giving me room to grow. It’s like I’ve been repotted- I’m going through the lessons I was faced with before, but this time, I have many more tools & experiences to support me through them. It’s helped me spark a bit of excitement to spend time in Ontario again. 

The next morning, Brandon drove me to the airport. I’m so grateful to him for doing that too- because we slept in & I wouldn’t have had enough time if I had to take an uber. I tumbled high-speed through the airport & next thing I knew I was in Phoenix. (okay, there was a weird bit about the lady at TSA getting mad at me & patting me down because she didn’t like how many notes I had shoved in my overall’s pockets. I didn’t get it really. I looked more like a toddler that a smuggler, but whatever). My jaw practically hit the floor when I saw the landscape I dropped into. Such a big sky! and so blue! And mountain in the distance- that looked more like hardend sand dunes. The cactus’s are huge & fill the landscape, instead of an abundance of trees. It made me regret taking the plane, instead of the bus. Despite what everyone was saying, I really think I would have loved it. Now I just know I will have to trust my own feelings ever-forward when it comes to those things. 

----------------------------------------------------

Sedona, too, is more beautiful than I could have expected. I mean, I’ve seen pictures of course, but seeing the monuments & their contrast with space & sky is something else. I took this huge breath here that I feel like I’d been holding for months & months. I can tell I have work to do here. Routine to entangle in, feelings to purge. I will be here for two or three weeks- doing yoga & meditation & chanting everyday. I can already feel the shift in me. (and in some ways, a shift back to a way I was in the past too). Being part of a land co-op certainly does allow for a lot of outdoor work & collaborative living. I do love all that, and it definitely exists as a main part of the ashram. There is a different feeling here, though. Definitely less silly. It’s full of intention. I don’t know how to explain it right now- except it’s like your spirit makes eye contact with everyone else’s spirit. You can’t hide from your weaknesses. It requires honesty & commitment to make life work here. I’ve always been ready for that- but you don’t find too many places (especially in modern cities) that allows you to live that way. My body, too, is being challenged. Everyone here is a relatively devout yogi (karmic & asana). I myself have to catch up in ways. I already have the chants stuck in my  head as I work in the garden.

One think I’ve found challenging so far is what I am doing for my Karma Yoga practice. Rukmini can be a little nit-picky (although I know she’s working on that). She is also taking over for Swamiji while he is away, which I realize has it’s own stresses. She hopes that I will help her in the kitchen and help her with “momma chores”. The thought of that is challenging for me, however, because I’ve never been particularly inclined towards those things. Gopala is leaving the ashram soon. He has done a lot of the cooking & I think she really wants me to help with that..... my ultimate challenge. I mean, I told her I love farm work and building projects. Dharmagan & Charles are building a little temple by the bar. Really, I am craving to work on that. I think, Rukmini would prefer me to work with her, though. We did have a special moment earlier in which we were both totally geeking out about plants and gardening. That felt really nice. I’ve been thinking a lot about “my path” of course. I still feel intentional about doing some sort of healing practice. In clearing away all my obligations, I have thought every morning “in a perfect world, what would you do with this day). In almost all my answers, it has something to do with being outside with plant friends & sharing the gifts of plant medicines with my dearest people friends. I do really want to be a farmer- but in nova scotia that is certainly hard to make your full income. I love the idea of doing massage to fill out the rest of my time (as I’ve discussed for years), but it doesn’t spark the same immediate joy that plants do. I think it would still be something I’d be good at though & would open so many doors for me. (anyways, I digress... and most of my good friends have heard me repeat this conversation over and over again).

I can’t help but feel doubted (which is an ultimate pet peeve of mine) in areas that are a little more physical or perhaps typically male roles. She did allow me to help her garden today. We planted Onions & lilies & garlic as flakes of snow fell from the sky. It’s about 5 degrees- which for me, feels reasonable to be working outside. Everyone else keeps mentioning “THE COLD!” I just smile to myself, because it’s familiar to me & I love being outside. It did mean that Gopala brought me a big mug of Cocao while I planted. Which was kind and really thoughtful. 

Saraswati is the patron goddess of this ashram. Her colour is yellow (my favourite) and she is the goddess of wisdom & knowledge. She is actually one of my favourite Hindu Gods- so it was a happy surprise when I found that out. The library, where her shrine is, is beautiful & filled with yellow & gold. It’s a very happy place to be. All the book titles have filled me with a thirst to read as much as I can. Rukmini gave me a book about Peace Pilgrim. On my first day I sat down by the river with my feel sunk into the mud (next to the many raccoon paw prints) and read in the tree for a few hours. Peace Pilgrim is a favourite of the Swami here. He, like Peace Pilgrim, also journeyed around America, relying on faith & the kindness of strangers to help him on his way. I am looking forward to meeting him. Mare has told me wonderful things about him (mostly that he reminds her a lot of Dumbledore-- which is probably the highest praise any teacher could get). He arrives tomorrow- so I’m sure there will once again be another shift in energy. We’ve gotten a little lackadaisical with the timing of the schedule. I’ve heard Swami keep the household a little strict- but I suppose you have to when there is a bunch of people in & out (in addition to it being a serious spiritual centre). 

This is a small Ashram- with only about 7 of us here now. It is less than a year old, however, so it is still being established in many ways. The other ashrams have 50, maybe even 100 people living there. I feel good about this ashram though. Especially when it comes to learning, I feel like it will be more effective in a small group. Although I suppose larger ones would be nice because there would be lots of people to work with & talk to. It feels right to be in this one though. 

There was a girl who left the day before I arrived & her name was also Zoe. Apparently there was some confusion because we had the same name. I personally am just taking it as another sign that I’m supposed to be here. Something that I didn’t really expect is that I am feeling a lot of gratitude for my name- Which means life. There has been a lot of chants exploring that theme- being alive. I guess that could be expected, but it’s been standing out to me. My thoughts keep circling back to that mysterious phrase that lead me to this journey on the first place “go to New Orleans to learn about death”. I think I let a lot of things die when I chose to leave Halifax. There was death in that, surely. In a re:birthing context. I think what I learned most is that life exists concurrently with death. 

I struggle quite a bit still with thoughts of Ellie’s death. I found myself crying unexpectedly in Satsung yesterday, and then again when talking to Rukminiji. I find it hard to laugh and smile without it making me feel guilty in some way. As if keeping sadness close to my heart is penitence, or proof in someway that I loved her. New Orleans, certainly conjured the ideal of how deeply & brightly both the concepts of death & life can coexist. And so, still with thoughts & appreciation for death, I’ve been able to live a little more freely. Which is not something I thought I’d ever fully be able to move towards in sincerity. But I feel it. My prana is having the dust shaken off along this dessert journey. I am grateful for every moment of it- all the challenges & moments of peace that is being gifted to me. 

[hereslookingatyoukid]

End of the Year Survey - 2016

1. What did you do in 2016 that you’d never done before?

Started my first real grown-up job, got engaged to a wonderful human, brought home the cutest corgi baby in all the world, moved into a townhouse, cut down our own christmas tree, and turned twenty-six! Whew! Big year!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Last year, I resolved to: Be kinder and less judgmental towards those I love (definite A for effort). Drink more water (lol) (still workin’ on this one). Write in my One Sentence Journal every night (oops, can’t find it). Dance in my kitchen (A+). Make friends with people I connect with (still searching!). Find a great job and grow confident in my work (first part, yes! second part, in progress). Feel good about how I look more and more of the time, be unafraid to be in photos, and spend less time thinking about it (forever resolution maybe?).

Of course I’m making more for next year--I can’t resist! I hope to: 

+Spend more time outside +Have an unbelievably happy wedding to the love of my life and start a strong, joyful marriage +Work on saving and budgeting for the future +Snuggle my dog and loved ones more often +Feel less overwhelmed with adulthood, specifically the whole full-time job situation +Work toward a place of peace with my self-image  

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?


Weirdly not that I can think of?

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Universe.

5. What countries did you visit?

I stayed home.

6. What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?

Oh gosh, but I’ve got so much! I suppose I’d like to have more comfort in my work environment, more strength and courage, and a (super great!) wedding.

7. What dates from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

February 22: the first day of my job as legal counsel at Mercy. 

April 16: the day Luke and I went for a hike at Squire point and came home ENGAGED! Magical!

May 15: my birthday and a day visiting Sutliff Cider Company--our future wedding venue--with both of our parents.

June 18: the day we brought our love, Sebastian, home!

October 31: halloween evening spent drinking cocktails on our tiny porch and handing out candy together.

November 8: the election with its heartbreaking results.

December 24: christmas eve at the O’Brien’s with my parents celebrating with snacks, drinks, and a heated/hilarious game of Trivial Pursuit.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Definitely getting hired as in-house legal counsel and succeeding (I hope!) in that role throughout the year. I was up against 30+ other people and had no real work experience, but I was chosen and I’ve learned a grown a ton in my job so far. I’m still working on gaining confidence and comfort in my work, but it’s been a great achievement.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Becoming overwhelmed with the giant lifestyle change that is working a full-time job and feeling like I’m barely keeping my head above water sometimes.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Not really, aside from a few colds and un-fun headaches. It’s been a healthy year!

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Our kitchen table and its teal blue chairs. They make our house a home and I adore looking at them.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Luke, my sweet boy. Momma, Dad, and Jake, my #1s. Hillary Clinton. Seth Meyers. 

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Donald Trump, et al. 

14. Where did most of your money go?

Purchasing a puppy. Rent. Amazon/Target. (ugh)

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Getting a job!!

Being engaged!!!

Bringing home Bash!!!!

16. What songs will always remind you of 2016?

“Raise Hell”- Dorothy; “Closer” - The Chainsmokers; “Want” - Birdtalker

17. Did you make any new friendships?

I’ve gotten to know my coworkers, but otherwise it’s an emotional work in progress!

18. Did you go on vacation?

Yes! In July we took a vacation to Bemidji, Minnesota for Luke’s dad’s family reunion. We drove for 8 hours and stayed in a tiny, un-air conditioned cabin with Luke’s parents, sister and her husband, and the 4 year old twins. We fished, grilled, cuddled in the world’s most uncomfortable bed, drank unsweetened coffee, went to the family reunion, and I got to hang with my future in-laws in my pajamas. The weather was a bit rough and stormy and the drive was long, but I’ll always remember that trip fondly.

19. What do you wish you had done (more and less) of?

More optimism and exercise. Less negativity and distraction.

20. How did you spend the holidays?

Luke and I spent Thanksgiving at my parent’s home with my mom’s family. Jake and Susie were home too! And Sarah came with her brood of children! I brought cinnamon butter, green bean casserole, and oreo-cookie dough-brownies. It was actually a nice and peaceful day! We ended it playing board games and it was a blast. Then, on Friday, we did Thanksgiving at the O’Brien’s. I made corn casserole. It was filled with yummy food, a walk in the woods, and playing a game of “pie face” with the twins.

Jake came home for a few days before Christmas and it was super fun to spend time with him, but it was a bit sad to not have him home for Christmas. I’m not good with change. 

For Christmas Eve we went to my grandparents for their celebration and it was much more comfortable than last year. That evening we went to the O’Brien’s with Nick and Yoriko and my parents to celebrate--very fun. Luke and I came home to snuggle our dog and exchange gifts. On Christmas morning, we went to my parents to open gifts and have brunch. It was lovely! My parents got me so many lovely things (a new laptop from where I type this!!) and we watched too many of my baby videos. We lounged around and finished the day with mom and I making homemade chicken lo mein.

21.  What new food did you discover?

Home Chef subscription has brought so many! The best was probably Korean pork medallions. Like, I can cook pork! Who knew?

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Wentworth, Gilmore Girls (so late to that party), and Stranger Things!

23.  What was one of your favorite experiences of the year?

I have to say the day Luke and I got engaged. It was the first truly warm day of the year and we decided to go hiking at Squire Point. Even though it was our first time there, we walked right to this gorgeous lookout point over the lake, its cliffs, and a beach. I was yammering on about “Lost” and Luke was behind me on one knee, waiting for me to stop talking so he could say “will you marry me?” So surreal. I said yes (of course) and we carved our initials into a tree next to us. The rest of the day included fishing, getting a flat tire, and surprising my parents with the news. I’m still giddy at the thought. 

I’d be remiss if I didn’t also mention the day we picked Sebastian up! We drove up to the farm and the breeder greeted us with him in her arms. I immediately scooped him up and he was just so calm and so sweet and so tiny. He just hung out in my arms and chewed my hair a little. He fell asleep in my lap on the way home. I was already head over heels. I just love that little dog so much. 

24. What was the best book you read?

I’m thinking What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty. I also really loved Lena Dunham’s Not That Kind of Girl. 

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Kaleo. Yaaaaas. 

26. What did you want and get?

A great job, a wonderful fiance, a puppy. Living the goddamn dream.

27. What did you want and not get?

I got everything I wanted and I’m not even exaggerating. 

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

Is it so terrible if I say “Finding Dory”?!! It was adorable and I cried.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 26 this year. It was a Sunday. Luke gave me beautiful dangly earrings in the morning. Then we met our families at Sutliff Cider Company to tour as a potential wedding venue and taste some delish cider. We loved it--the orchard, the barn, the pavilion. We all went to my parents for dinner. It was a really nice birthday!

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

A constantly clean house and a personal chef.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?

Knit blazers. Cropped pants. Colorful necklaces and statement earrings. Cardigans and collars. Flowing floral tops. Ankle boots. Olive green.

32. What kept you sane?

Luke. Sebastian. My family. The occasional perfect coffee. Online grocery shopping. Reddit. 

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Seth Meyers. John Krasinksi (per usual). Cecile Richards. 

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

The election. What a dumpster fire. 

35. Who did you miss?

My brother. Seeing law school friends. 

36. Who was the best new person you met?

The best person I met wasn’t a person at all... Our handsome corgi man, Bash.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016.

Still learning this so hard...

“If you obsess over whether you are making the right decision, you are basically assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another. The universe has no fixed agenda. Once you make any decision, it works around that decision. There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience.— Deepak Chopra

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

"So, you’re invited to all my future plans, not that I’m planning much, but I’ve planned enough to know I hold your hand.”— Alana Henderson - Anyone Who’s Not You