#in his own way

[vi-visected]

in my head after the events of camlann merlin returns to camelot and, still riddled with terrible guilt and grief, confesses to leon about everything that had happened and everything he had done, magic and all. and instead of outrage or betrayal or scorn or judgement (or even death, as he had briefly considered) leon shatters him with a deeply apologetic expression and a whispered “my friend… you must have been so afraid, and so tired.” and merlin collapses into heaving sobs against him and doesn’t get back up for a long time.

[reapedsouls]

zoro's devotion to luffy is an important aspect in zolu but can we talk abouti luffy's FAITH in zoro. "you can never fail me." zoro would be like sorry for disappointing you captain and every fucking time luffy would be no no no you're perfect. that's how much luffy trusts zoro can you believe that. it's about raw confidence in someone to the point of no requirement for reassurance. luffy has nothing but faith in zoro.

[ukiyoebirds]

While broken bonds mend, some things never change.

@krazycat6167 helped workshop the joke.

You may need to click on the image for better quality.

[purplecatghostposts]

Thinking about how Hoody!Brian had SO many opportunities to kill Alex but hesitated and couldn’t time and time again. He had the guy captured twice and while you could argue that the Operator interrupted him once, he also HAD him at Benedict Hall. He could’ve ended it there, but he couldn’t.

Hoody!Brian could hate him all he wanted, beat him to hell and back, and mock and threaten him, but he never was quite able to pull the trigger. Even at his lowest, even full of hate and contempt for Alex (and some for everyone else alive too), he couldn’t seem to cross that particular line. Which is incredibly interesting to me.

[ickypuppi3]

[forlorn-crows]

Rain getting fucked with a monster dildo and mountain walks in on him, watching him?

oh anon. sweet, sweet anon. you're getting a treat tonight.

i had a little too much fun with this one

Mountain watches him from the doorway, the heavy wooden thing cracked open just a sliver. From his angle, he can see Rain on his bed, lasciviously fucking himself with a dark purple toy. It’s a large one, spiraled and tentacle-like. Mountain watches as he slides it in and out, matching the twisting movements over the length of his cock. He can see it shining with precum, even in the dim evening light.

It’s hot. But he can’t help the pang of jealousy—Envy? Possessiveness?—that hits him in the chest. He palms himself over his jeans, hissing at the contact.

“Oh fuck, Mountain.”He freezes, hand still over his clothed cock. “I can—ah—smell you in the—mmpf—h-hallway.”

Mountain steps into his room and shuts the door behind him. “What’s this, tadpole?”

Rain turns his head lazily in his direction, thighs clamping together to keep the toy fully inside him while he reaches a sticky hand out to the earth ghoul, still pumping his cock with the other. Mountain steps close to him but doesn’t take his hand. Rain lets it hang limp.

He looks up at Mountain, mouth parted. “Cirrus gave me a new toy.” He looks at Mountain’s crotch, smiling at the bulge in his pants. “I like when you watch me,” he says quietly, breath hitching when he shifts his hips.

“It’s big.”

Rain nods, eyes fluttering shut as he teases the tip of his cock.

“Bigger than me?”

The water ghoul shakes his head and opens his legs, silently inviting Mountain to see for himself.

“Hm,” he thinks. He runs a finger down Rain’s body, from the end of his chin all the way down to the base of the toy. Rain whimpers as Mountain presses on it. He feels a little devious, mean even. “Pretty close. I’m not enough for you?” he says with an edge, raising a brow. His eyes trace a line back up to Rain’s face, who’s blushing a deep violet—almost as purple as the toy he’s fucking himself with.

But he’s not shy. “You don’t have a tentacle for a dick,” he says, a little brattiness rising to the surface. Oh, but that really gets Mountain going.

“Maybe not. But I can fuck you better than you’re doing by yourself.”

“Mmpf—s-show me.”

Mountain chuckles darkly. “Sure, raincloud.” He grasps the base of the dildo and pulls slowly, each inch shining with slick as it reveals itself. Now that he’s closer, Mountain can see the swirls of indigo that run throughout the silicone, curling around the molded suckers that spiral from base to curled tip.

“Perfect for a horny water devil, hm?”

Rain whines as the tip grazes his prostate on the way out, making him twitch. “’S nice, yeah.”

Mountain sets the toy aside. He looks down at Rain, taking in the sight beneath him; the wet little tendrils of hair stuck to his forehead, the glint of small white fangs poking into his bottom lip, the slick coating his inner thighs, and the violet tinge to his skin, from the tip of his ears to the tip of his cock, which was still appearing and disappearing in Rain’s fist.

Mountain can’t hide the way his cock kicks in his jeans. He palms himself again as he tugs Rain to sit on the edge of the bed. He nudges Rain’s knees apart, sliding between his legs and towering over him. Mountain tips his chin up, admiring the adoration and need on the water ghoul’s face.

“You’re so pretty. Pliant. Aren’t you?” Mountain leans down to kiss him, licking into Rain’s mouth hungrily. Rain moans into his mouth and clutches at Mountain’s shirt. He’s trying to pull Mountain on top of him, pull him onto the bed with him so he can take him like he always does.

But Mountain isn’t having any of that.

“No, no.” He pulls away and rises to his full height once more. He puts a hand on Rain’s shoulder. “On your knees. Want to fuck that pretty throat.” Rain whimpers, swallowing thickly.

He takes one step back, then another. Rain’s hands grab the air as he disentangles himself from the water ghoul. “And you’re going to watch.” He beckons him over to the large, gold-framed mirror in the corner of the bedroom.

Rain rises on shaky legs, slinking over to Mountain and the mirror. His cock is hard and leaking between them, and Mountain can’t resist giving it a quick squeeze, right at the base. Rain keens, knees threatening to buckle.

Mountain leans into him, hand dipping lower. “Knees,” he purrs into Rain’s ear, pressing his fingers into his taint.

Rain’s legs really do give out at that, and he drops down in front of the earth ghoul. He presses his face into Mountain’s crotch, mouthing over his fly. Mountain cards his fingers into his hair and closes his hand, gripping lightly. The pressure is nice, but the way Rain drools over the fabric is nicer. He rocks his hips into his face, just to enjoy the debauched look already settling there.

Mountain pulls him off his crotch so he can free his cock from beneath the fabric. He unzips his jeans and pulls the elastic of his underwear just past his balls; he doesn’t disrobe any further, not for this.

Rain is back on him in an instant, mouthing over his length with his wet tongue. He laves against the underside, moving upwards to flick his tongue against the frenulum. Mountain growls and grabs his hair again, pulling him off. A string of saliva follows him, connecting tongue to tip.

“You’ll take what I give you, tadpole.” Rain’s eyes go wide, and he nods, almost imperceptibly. Mountain drops his hair and the water ghoul sinks back down a fraction of an inch.

Mountain traces his parted lips with the tip of his cock, not missing how a bead of precum catches on Rain’s tongue. The earth ghoul groans and turns his head to watch himself in the mirror.

Rain is a picture of debasement with his eyes just barely open, showing only a sliver of white and the bottom half of his pond green irises. His hands rest atop his quivering thighs, cock drooling onto the floor between them. Rain just lets Mountain smear his cock wherever he wants: around his lips, down his cheek, across his jaw. And it’s really fucking hot. It nearly makes Mountain forget he’s a little bit mad at the water ghoul.

He keeps his gaze on the mirror. “Open,” he says lowly, eyes fixed on Rain’s mouth. He opens obediently, tongue lolling out and waiting. His fingers dig into his thighs, leaving crescent moon marks in the flesh. Mountain bites back a fuck just starting to form on his lips as he pushes in.

Rain’s mouth is always nice—cool and wet, just like the rest of his body. Mountain looks back down at his actual figure, watching as he takes and sucks on the first half of his length.

“Yeah, take it all. Wanna make you a mess,” Mountain mutters, thrusting shallowly. He returns his hand to the back of Rain’s head, resting the other on the small of his own back. Rain moans in the back of his throat, drool already escaping from the corners of his mouth.

Mountain pushes in further. “More. That’s it,” he coaxes, smoothing the hair off his forehead absentmindedly.  Tears are streaming from his eyes now; Mountain knows it’s not from discomfort, just another way he lives up to his water ghoul nature.

“You’re being so good, Rainy,” he praises, any anger now effectively dissolved. Rain just whines through his nose, taking him deeper. Mountain looks back in the mirror, groaning at the sight. “Touch yourself. Let me see.”

Rain lifts a shaky hand to his cock, jolting at the touch and sinking further onto Mountain’s cock.

“Oh fuck, look at you. Look at yourself.”

He does, eyes fluttering open and craning sideways. Rain moans immediately, eyes rolling back into his skull as he jerks himself faster, suddenly desperate.

“That’s good, fuuuck, that’s good,” Mountain groans. He’s panting, infatuated with their reflection.

Rain takes him as deep as he can go, the head of his cock visibly going down and past the back of his throat. He doesn’t know how he does it without breaking his jaw, gagging, anything. But he doesn’t wonder for long, because Rain is constricting his throat around him, swallowing him down. It’s completely sinful and he can’t hold back the sudden rush of pleasure that it sends straight to his gut; his eyes are rolling and he’s cumming with a surprised shout, hot spurts sliding down Rain’s tight throat.

“Oh fuck Rain you—seven hells,” he says, voice cracking. Rain’s milking him through it, not backing off. His eyes are squeezed shut tight, eyebrows upturned, cheeks and lashes wet with streaks of tears. 

“Fuck fuck fuck,” Mountain chants, breath completely stolen from his lungs. Vaguely, he registers Rain’s hand flying over his own cock, jerking himself with fervor, frantic and wanton.

Rain lets out a strangled cry as he spills over his hand, spurts of cum dripping onto the floor. Mountain pulls out before Rain can accidentally clamp down on him. The water ghoul swallows and sucks in a breath, ragged and gasping.

“Mountain, oh, oh Lucifer unholy Father,” he coughs out, folding over himself and resting his forehead against the earth ghoul’s hip. “Wow, oh fuck,” he huffs, chest heaving.

“Unholy shit, Rain,” Mountain mutters. He pets his head, tracing around his horns. “That was . . .”

“You,” Rain laughs suddenly, the noise bubbling out of his throat, “you need to spy on me more often.”

[allen-walkers]

There is something so deeply tender about Zoro picking up Usopp's boots in Skypiea. Tender in a "I'll take care of you as much as I can, even if you don't notice it" way. Tender in a "You wouldn't think I notice these little things, but I do" way. Tender in a "Good grief, you're helpless sometimes, and I'll pretend to be annoyed by it, but that's just the way you are and that's fine by me" way.

There's something given about it, too. Like, of course he picks up Usopp's boots and carries them to the camp for him. Why wouldn't he? He notices, and he can take care of Usopp in this small way, so he does. Of course he does.

For such a rough, sometimes seemingly cold guy (even though we all know he's far from cold), Zoro has such a tenderness to him when it comes to Usopp.

Does Usopp know? Does Usopp know how much Zoro notices, and cares, and does every little and big thing he can for him? When Zoro drops off his boots at the camp, does Usopp notice? Does he see, does he feel the love in such a simple, yet meaningful act?

I hope he does.

[alchemistgoose]

aaaaand the other half

[thalassic-p4rk]

silly doodle alert (wip that may turn into a thing??)

designs inspired by @/abipork2-0 (i feel bad tagging them in all my fanart but go check them out!!)

[beaulesbian]

love when luffy is actually trying hard to remember someone just from hearing their name, especially when he only met/heard about them once

[nacrelysis]

they could be healthy. or they could be so irrevocably codependent, like roundworms inside each other's stomachs, that they crawl inside each other and never come out. a half-formed amalgamation of flesh and soul and obsession. i hope we both die, but the sun is so nice today, so...let's stay together a little while longer.

[royedismyaesthetic]

In my fic, Edward reminds Roy that while he comes from the middle of nowhere, that doesn’t mean that he isn’t smart. Roy answers him honestly, and he’s like, “From the first day I met you, not once did I doubt that you were absolutely brilliant.”

Edward goes quiet for a moment and then he replies, “I would say the same to you, but that would be a blatant lie. I question your intelligence daily.”

[blaze13full]

When your immortal boyfriend tells you that he fought the god of Shinobis before he actually got immortal and you are like

Wait.... WHAT?

[drsilverfish]

Ouch the Heart Foreshadowing

Oh man this scene in 1x06 The Art of F**kery is so great (sorry everyone having to suffer my OFMD posts “late”, but it only just got released in the UK, on the BBC). 

Blackbeard totally bullshitting, Stede freaking out, Izzy losing his jealous MIND cuz he thinks they’re screwing on deck (which, of course, they are, metaphorically). 

But the best (worst) part is Blackbeard “forgetting” that the frigging heart is on the left side of the body (a pretty important organ dontcha think!) in a massive case of foreshadowing, because Stede is about to break his heart into a million pieces and he never saw it coming. 

And he’s right - being stabbed in the body with a flesh wound you can survive is one thing, coping with that pain on adrenaline and drink and the mania of his Blackbeard persona, he’s done it so many times before. And, being stabbed in the heart means death, so that’s it, you’re done. But getting your heart well and truly broken for love? Well, that’s another thing; the pain lasts so much longer, and when you finally heal, you’re never quite the same person you were before. Poor bastard, he’s so happy here, with his intimate flesh-wound.  

[bluejones]

irresistible 

pairing: nathan bateman x reader word count: 737 a/n: cs prompt challenge, week 4: “I want you to marry me.”  ~ nathan makes a proposition you absolutely can refuse... right? | read on AO3 here~

It had been 6 months since you became an assistant to the infamous Nathan Bateman. At least the view at his home in the mountains was nice because you weren't doing much assisting, more like standing around being an ear for him to talk off. Sometimes he wouldn't even let you do your work, insisted you follow him around as he worked and tested your knowledge as well as making sure you were listening. It was exhausting. Not because you didn't know most things he asked, but because the air of arrogance that followed his every waking moment too, was exhausting.

But he seemed to be going through a change. His last project failed and he fired the PR team as well as many others ‘teams’ about a month into your stay with him. You ended up mostly fielding calls between his investors, lying about his new projects to the company. 

It was around this time he started looking at you strangely, like he was trying to study you... more than he did before anyway. A few weeks passed and he only got more intense. You'd had enough. You stood against the door frame to his office as he worked on his computer, looking up at you every so often.

"Would you just tell me already?"

He gave you a quizzical look, a look you hated.

"You're obviously thinking something every time you look at me and I can't take it anymore. Just tell me what it is!"

He sat back in his chair, rubbing his beard and looked you over for a moment. "I suppose I should." There was a long pause where you thought you might jump out of your own skin, but he spoke eventually.

"I want you to marry me."

You stood there, tried to blink away your confusion before coming to the realisation that he was dead fucking serious. All the blood drained from your face. “What?!” You spoke curtly, it was all you could manage.

"I think it's a good idea." He said with all the seriousness in the world, crossing his arms and looking even more relaxed than before.

"Oh my god, it's done. You've done it. You've finally gone actually insane." You held your head in your hands for a moment before turning and practically speed walking down the hall muttering ‘unbelievable’ to yourself. It may have been the dumbest thing you'd ever heard him say.

You groaned when your stupid key card didn't open the door to let you out and heard Nathan trailing after you, his footsteps almost featherlight on the floor. "Hear me out..."

"For once I will absolutely not be hearing you out. Oh my god, I don't even want to know."

"I’ve thought it over. Extensively. Obviously. There are many advantages, for PR purposes especially." He said with an amused lilt to his voice.

"Oh my God!"

He dared to look at you over his glasses, fully grinning. "You should really stop saying that, it makes you look dumb."

You shook with annoyance. You hated that you noticed it seemed like he was saying he thought you weren't dumb already... You filed that away for later. Now was not the time to dwell.

He continued. "People are wondering what's going on. They're questioning what I'm even doing here anymore. Well, what if I got married? 'Nathan Bateman finally settles down'. Pretty shit headline but it’s what they’ll use most likely. That alone will be great for the continuation of BlueBook at least."

"Oh I'm so thrilled you finally found a use for me." You blurted out with a sigh.

He eyed you with a smirk, the lines around his eyes crinkling. You knew that look.

"No!" You pointed your finger at him in caution. "I'm not fucking marrying you." You tried the key card again but it flashed red.

"Fucking while married? Now that's a thought." He all but whispered beside you.

You let out a strangled scream. "Open the fucking door Nathan."

He leisurely reached into his pocket and took out his own key card, hovering it above the reader. "I think I'll be able to change your mind." 

The door opened and you bolted through it. "You absolutely will not." You said over your shoulder. As you walked back to your room, determined to pack your things and leave immediately, you wondered what it was he might do to change your mind. 

[mrsaltieri-real]

His Perfect Victim (Mickey Altieri X OC!Dahlia Levine)

Chapter 5: Healing

Words: 2k

Warnings: langauge, fluff, angst if you squint, subtle jealousy, mentions of sex, feelings, SO. MANY. FEELINGS.

A small time jump of just a few weeks shows how Dahlia and Mickey’s new friendship has begun to blossom, but Dahlia is struggling to keep romantic thoughts buried, whilst Randy begins to show concern about the two’s growing bond.

A/N: The next chapter will be from Mickey’s POV which is VERY exciting. It’ll go further into Mickey’s feelings, what he’s been doing and just how much he knows about Dahlia with some surprises mixed in. Thank you to @bisexual-horror-fan for editing and beta reading this for me. My star. And also for the moodboard which I’m including in either all or most chapters because I just love it so fucking much!

Also @lizey-thornberry you wanted to be in the taglist so here you go!

I had to admit, being friends with Mickey is a lot more fun than I gave it credit for.

Once you get past his cocky arrogance, he was surprisingly funny and had a passion for movies that I myself could never quite understand but equally admired. The light in his eyes when he’d ramble on and on about his favourite movies and directors, his hands waving around in huge gestures as though he was literally trying to paint me a picture, was endearing. Somehow he knew never to steer the topic in the direction of horror movies, to which I assumed at the time to be thankful to Randy for.

We shared a morning statistics class. He would knock on my door every morning at nine o’clock on the dot with a cup of coffee in one hand and a bagel in the other. The days turned into weeks and he never stopped doing it. We grew closer and closer, developed inside jokes, and he really started to make me feel human again. I didn’t notice it at the time, but Randy seemed to really hate this development, watching in concern as Mickey and I’s friendship grew stronger and stronger by the day.

I was sitting in the college square and absentmindedly chewing on a granny smith apple as I read my book, waiting for Hallie and Sidney for a spontaneous girls' day out, when I jumped as Randy sat down across from me on the bench seemingly out of nowhere, forehead creased and blue eyes serious. He sat silently, staring at me for a few seconds longer than necessary, before I raised my eyebrows, closing the book resting in my lap.

“What?” I asked, voice slightly muffled from the bite of apple in my mouth, which I swallowed quickly.

“I need to talk to you.” He’d asked with a small shake of his head.

“Okay?” I asked, placing the apple on the bench and looking up at him.

He hesitated for a moment, eyes studying my face before dropping to his hands, playing with his fingers.

“Is something going on with you and Mickey?” He asked, eyes squinting, and voice unsure of himself.

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at him, adjusting myself on the bench, so I was completely facing him, now sitting side-saddle as I responded, “What do you mean?”

“You two have been getting really close lately. I just know he can be kind of…” His voice trailed off, as if searching for the right word and settling on just, “-Mickey.” I couldn’t help but smile at his choice of wording. To be honest, he didn’t need to go into what that meant, it made complete sense.

I understood his concern. I knew Mickey’s reputation of being a bit of a slut, but at the time I’d buried any kind of romantic feelings I may have had to him far into the back corners of my mind, along with Billy, Stu and Woodsbro though, of course, for entirely different reasons. I wasn’t myself, wasn’t ready for any kind of relationship, physical or otherwise, and Mickey didn’t really seem like the kind of person who wanted to settle down. He was too erratic, too distracted and as much as I enjoyed our friendship, he was too complicated for my slowly healing heart to be able to handle.

That’s what I made myself believe, anyway.

“We’re friends.” I responded, my shoulders turning up just slightly, a mild shrug as I continued, “But you know that, you see us all the time.”

Randy’s lips turned down when I used the word “us”, to him probably making it seem like too possessive of a word for his liking, but I didn’t care. I was happy for the first time in far too long, why was this bothering him so much? I asked him that straight up, and he just sighed, eyes not moving from his hands while he answered with, “I just know him, okay? I don’t want you to get hurt.”

I smiled at my friend, my best friend, one of the few people left in the world I truly cared about, and reached out to place my hands over his to make him pause and look up at me.

“He’s not going to hurt me, Rand. We’re just friends, okay?” I spoke gently, maintaining eye contact with him as I did, to which his eyes widened in surprise.

His face broke into a smile suddenly as he announced, “Hey, I think that’s the longest you’ve looked me in the eye in six months!”

I couldn’t help but laugh, rolling my eyes and joking with him back, “Oh, right. Nice goatee. You know the 80s are dead, right?”

He scoffed at me, playfully pushing my hands off his. “Look at Dahlia with the jokes.”

“Absolutely not joking.” I deadpanned with the smile still on my face.

He laughed along with me, blue eyes finally warming up a little as the moment drifted off into comfortable silence. I heard my name faintly being called and glanced over Randy’s shoulder to see Hallie waving at me excitedly, Sidney walking by her side with her hands in her jacket pockets. She smiled warmly at me once she was closer, removing her hands and rubbing them together slightly due to the crisp fall air, asking me, “Are you ready to go?”

I went to look back at Randy to ensure he would be okay if I went, when I saw his gaze was diverted over my shoulder, his expression turned pissed off.

“She can’t, she has plans.”

His voice made me jump for the second time today, twisting around on the bench to look at him. Fuck, how did he do that?

Mickey stood behind me, I felt his hands suddenly rest on my shoulders, the contact sending a small shiver down my spine. He was always so warm, his grip firm and grounding. I suddenly found I didn’t want to go. As much as I loved Hallie and as much as Sidney was one of my best friends, whenever I was around him, I found myself not wanting to be with anybody else.

Feelings are pushed away? Yeah, right!

“But she-“

“Oh, no, that’s fine!” Sidney quickly spoke over Hallie, grabbing her friend's hand and squeezing firmly to shut her up, “We’ll catch you later, Dahlia.” She smiled at me widely, tugging Hallie off as she waved at me again, her pretty face looking confused.

A faint, “What was that about-” Reached me before they were out of earshot.

I turned and looked away from the girls to glance up at Mickey’s face, only to find he was looking at Randy, brows raised expectantly with a clear, dismissive look on his face.

I heard Randy sigh a little heavier than necessary and turned my head back to him to watch him clamber up from his seat, his gaze diverting from Mickey to smile at me with a small, “I’ll see you later,” before I quickly leaned forward and asked him, “We’ll have a movie night soon, yeah?”

He just nodded his head, turned on his heel and began to walk in the direction he came, head bowed slightly. I turned back around to look up at Mickey, his face entirely unbothered as he beamed down at me, but the smile faded fast when he saw my scowl.

“What?”

“We don’t have plans.” I commented, leaning back against the wooden table and my hands resting on my thighs.

“What’s with Meeks?” He asked, ignoring my comment as he looked away from me and nodded in Randy’s direction, “Kid looked like a kicked puppy. He asked you out, and you told him to fuck off or something?”

With a scoff, I put my book in my bag and grabbed the apple from the table, no longer hungry I decide against finishing the last bite and a half, leaning forward to toss it into the nearby trash can. I stood up and slung my bag over my shoulder. “No, Mickey. Why is that always the assumption you seem to jump to?” I asked as I began to walk mindlessly.

“Come on, it’s either one of two things. Either he’s too much of a pussy to ask you out, or you’ve rejected him a fair few times. Which is it?” He easily walked alongside be as he spoke, hands gesturing as though he was weighing out the two options.

“Neither, we’re just friends and always have been.”

“You don’t think he’s dying to get in your pants?” He asked, his tone only half teasing as he poked me in the ribs, prompting me to slap his hand away and making him laugh in the process.

“Shut up, you’re so disgusting. He’s my best friend, I’d never look at him like that.” I stopped under a tree, leaning against it and looking up at him.

He looked good today, his dark hair was wax free and falling a little over his forehead, his dark grey shirt was flatteringly tight, and he wore a soft brown hoodie to protect himself from the ever cooling crisp autumn breeze. His cheeks were flushed just a little, his eyes glinting a soft light brown from the setting sun.

God, the entire set up felt like my movie had shifted from a horror to a romance, and the realization was slowly beginning to dawn on me.

“You think you’ll ever look at anyone like that?” He asked casually, eyes flickering over my face to gauge my reaction.

Oh, fuck.

“What do you mean?” I asked carefully, trying to keep my expression neutral.

“If not Meeks, could you see yourself dating in the future or is that completely out of the cards for you?”

Without thinking, I shook my head, “No, it’s not completely off the table. I just want to find the right person to-“ I stopped myself. What the hell was wrong with me, if I told him I hadn’t had sex yet I knew I’d never hear the end of it. But as Mickey did so often, he took me by surprise by finishing my sentence for me, “Lose it to?”

I couldn’t help but since at the words, somehow they sounded more pathetic coming from him until I realized he hadn’t said it in a joking or teasing way, just very matter-of-factly as though he already knew. Maybe he did.

“Mhmm,” I responded, not trusting my voice. He laughed a little, moving forward to stand a little closer to me with his hand resting just to the side of my head as he ducked his head down a little to speak in a more hushed tone, “It isn’t that big of a deal, Dahl.”

“Easy for you to say, slut.” I muttered, unable to bring myself to meet his gaze. He just laughed at my comment, and I watched as he nodded his head from the corner of my eye in agreement.

“Yeah, I admit I get around. But that’s just me, it really isn’t that big of a deal. If anything, maybe I admire you more for it.”

“Oh yeah, that’s me, so admirable.” I finally looked at him, his eyes were gentle and warm and his lips looked so soft and desirable. My mind flew back to a few weeks ago, staring at my face in the mirror and looking at the light in my eyes, the colour in my cheeks and the smile on my face. No one had ever made me feel that way before, not ever. Mickey was a lot of things, an asshole, a man whore and a downright cunt at times. But he was also the only person that rekindled the fire inside of me, made me smile my first genuine smile in way too many months, and made me feel alive again.

The way he was staring at me, it seemed as though he was lost in his own thoughts, perhaps one’s similar to my own. I wish I knew what he was thinking and be comforted in the fact that I wasn’t crazy. He’d tried to kiss me once drunk at a party, leading to me rejecting his advance, and look how that ended. If I gave into him now, knowing full well that no matter how much I repressed them the feelings were undoubtedly there, could I survive that kind of heartache?

I’d never been in love, I had no idea what it felt like. I’d heard the phrase if you know, you know thrown around, and I couldn’t help but think of Sidney. She thought Billy really loved her and look how that ended, and I knew I wasn’t as strong of a person as she was, my heart was just beginning to piece back together from the betrayal of my cousin.

But Mickey wasn’t Stu, he wasn’t Billy and he wasn’t Ghostface.

I had no thoughts in my mind except one. This to and fro frame of thought had only lasted a matter of seconds before I unthinkingly closed the small gap that separated Mickey and me, my hands moving to his shoulders to pull myself up onto my toes and I kissed him, finally letting myself feel what I hadn’t even realised I’d been so desperately craving.

Chapter Six HERE