#in red god I wanna see some more tricks from the shes and the gays

[chatte-noire]

Light bringer x scheming

an appreciation and condemnation of the schemes, moves and manouvers in light bringer. who served them the coldest, and who was bamboozled? This is only about stunts, not about morals or likability.

Lysander:

Lysander's scheming took a whole new level and I was really surprised at the little coup he staged with atalantia in the collosseum. In the first half of the book he really had the monopoly on well placed and daring maneuvering.

I think his best stunt was the compromise on the dockyard of venus, managing to keep apollonius, and win the carthii and julias block while simultaneously showing up atalantia, reinforcing the alliance with the rim and starting the attack on mars.

I wouldn't have expected him to be able to hold the alliance with applelonius for even a few weeks, now its been a whole book, I'm exited to see if Darrow can use the minotaur against lysander in red god.

yes in the attack on phobos he wasted ships and men and money and copied darrows helldiver strategy.. but he also surprised virginia with his strategies and finally took enough of phobos to have the upper hand in negotiations, something I wouldn't have expected him to be able to do. esp. after atlas called phobos impregnable.

Darrow:

in the first half darrow honestly took the scheming L. when I read the excerpt 2 weeks before buying the book I was CONVINCED that they didnt just land in apollonius obviouss trap, like pls let this be a trick. Darrow is such an experienced schemer, he must have expected a trap? but no he was like, tattoos look right, must be my bestie in this easily accessible prison. Its especially naive because he broke apollonius out of deep grave and so knows that apollonius knows how he would plan a prison break. and that backup plan was also flimsy, I expected better from him haha

on Europa Darrow had a nice scheming comeback, like recreating the Dead Horse strategy and beating Fa? Iconicc. bringing both obsidians (with a vote) and rim (with diomedes' oath) closer to democratic values? inspiring. Brokering collaboration between Rim, Daughters and Obsidians? A strong feat. that speech with the daughters was nice too.

but.. (and I'm not saying it didn't cost him a lot and will probably keep costing him dearly in red god) lysander still kept his scheming level established in the first half of the book. so much trickery, let's see how long he can keep it up before he drowns in it. He was backed into a corner by atlas but managed to trick both Atlas and Cassius, defeat the rim and gain a horrible weapon with one move.

It cost him the Rim Alliance and his humanity, but we already know his morals and ideology are a feeble construct held up by delusion and wanking off on silenius. and the rim armadas were destroyed by atlas so to lysander it probably only seems like a temporary loss until they come crawling back to society when hunger defeats them.

Sevro's stunts were refreshingly constant and awesome. Like.. escaping apollonius and fighting him in his own house?? rescuing his bumbling saviours? and the most bestest move: convincing the Daughters of Ares to work together with them by holding such an iconic speech like.. wish we would have gotten to see that in first person. just like Volgas ascension as obsidian queen. They both had such iconic and smart moments off screen. pierce doesnt want them to steel the stunt limelight me feels.

Aurae was able to follow her goals throughout the book, while managing the boys, the daughters of ares and diomedes. she had an emotional and moral bond to each one of them, but managed to stay true to her own values even as the parties were conflicting.

honorary mentions:

Lyria smuggling herself unto the archie, she knows how to take advantage of her size, even more impressive because darrow had the same experience with rhonna and still didn't realise (or didnt care?)

Apollonius snatching up Darrow and Cassius

Virginia having an informant in the Society (her clone bro?) and her making a pact with and freeing the obsidians. I would have loved to see more of her, she always delivers top tier schemes (except for when she is outschemed by society rats).

they were outschemed, honorary mentions:

Volga following Fa: even if he wasn't Atlas puppet,,, he's still such an obvious upholder of Gold values and tyranny, but volga didnt want to see any of it. this makes her following him so horrible, I hope it doesn't all get blamed on Atlas, I mean Volga was fine with everything except for atlas' involvment. I don't know if she was naive or blind or ignorant or greedy but that was some top tier delusion.

Lysander bedazzling himself: this is the most hilarious and complete trickery. That guy just believes every fucking excuse he can give himself, he just gobbles them up. He might have freed himself from his AA Puppetduo, but the real puppeteer in his life is his delusional ideology and hybris.

Atalantia: she had such a good and safe plan, she just didn't realize that lysander doesn't care for his friends enough. now she is some ships and influence poorer, lost her watchdog, her nephew/lover (ew) and the grip on Lune's heir

Diomedes: Lysander had him wrapped around his lying finger and he did nott see that dishonorrr coming. Cassius didn't see it either, but I think he would have tried to save lysander anyway. The himbo bamboozlement lost them the garter and Cassius was murdered, at least he could kill Fear on the way.

[loubrary]

Billy Hargrove x Male Reader

Headcanons: You’re new in town and help Billy become a better person.

Warnings: mentions of violence and homophobia, hints of smut.

A/N: This doesn’t really follows the ST timeline but who cares about canon or accuracy, am I right?

[ Masterlist ]

Your parents move you a lot due to their jobs, they’re always researching something in some strange corner of the world. You can’t understand how you went from living in South America for the last six months to living in middle-of-nowhere Hawkins Indiana.

You’re out to your parents, and they’re very supportive. You consider yourself lucky, they’re very modern and open-minded people.

The kids at your new school don’t know what to make of you with your different clothes, hair and accent. Some of the teachers are fascinated to learn of the places you’ve been to. 

When you met Robin your gaydars went off and you’re both excited to have a Fellow Gay in town. She introduces you to her friend Steve and the three of you become very close. Soon you are also helping Steve take care of his kids.

Billy hears of this strange new kid and goes to look for him to show him who owns this school. When Billy sees you he is enthralled, the world stops and all he sees is you, he feels a strange sensation inside, and he hates it.

In the days that follow, Billy makes his moves. He is mean to you, calls you names. He tries to intimidate you and scare you. But you’ve dealt with his type many times before and you have some tricks up your sleeve. 

Billy hates that you don’t react to his taunting. You just smile and laugh.

“F*g!”

“You too?! Wanna go on a date, darling? Bad boys with pretty hair are totally my type, Hargrove.”

His words don’t work, so he changes his tactics. 

You’re walking through an empty hallway when he attempts to grab you and slam you against the wall. Only to find himself on the floor completely immobilized. He had no clue you had trained in various martial arts. 

Putting the pain aside, Billy is turned on by the feeling of being dominated, he feels himself hardening against the cold floor. 

You lean down and whisper in his ear, “think twice before daring to touch me, pretty boy.” You let him go. 

One side of him wants to fight but when he sees the determination and fearlessness in your eyes he backs down. “This isn’t over,” he huffs and leaves stomping the floor.

Billy leaves you alone after that. He only glares at you and curses at you under his breath. He hates that he can’t stop thinking about that day. He hates that he enjoyed being under your control. He hates how he can only cum to images of you. But at this exact moment he hates seeing you with Steve laughing. 

You feel his eyes on you, how they follow you as you move. When you face him his face hardens and his fists clench, but there’s something in his eyes you can’t decipher. 

One day you’re alone in the showers, or so you think. You turn and see Billy checking you out from the other side, completely frozen. You notice his hard-on and his eyes open wide. He thinks you’ll say something but you just smile and wink at him. He leaves hurriedly trying to control himself. 

That confirms your suspicions and you know what is up with Billy. You’ve met guys with internalized homophobia, but never like Billy.

After that, teasing Billy becomes one of your favourite activities. You pay him visits at the pool, making sure he gets a nice view of you. You notice when he covers his lap with his magazine, and tries to focus on something else. 

“Why do we come to the public pool? We both have pools at home,” Steve complains. Robin laughs at the clueless boy, and proceeds to explain the situation.

One day Billy finds you alone and he attempts to make a move on you. He was so confident believing you’d accept his advances. 

“I’m not some desperate lonely gay boy, Billy. I don’t bend over for any hot guy that offers me his dick.” “So you think I’m hot?” He smirks. You scoff leaving him there.

Billy hates that you rejected him. How is it possible? He thinks of the guys he tormented and then fucked back in California, how easy they fell to their knees for him. 

Billy has never met a gay guy as confident and unafraid as you. Deep inside he feels jealous and admiration for you. He secretly wishes he could be as open and be free as you.

You get paired for a project, you are prepared to do all the work and let him take part of the credit. You’re shocked when he asks if you want to get together to work on the project. You’re even more shocked when you learn that he actually understands the material and is quite smart. 

Against your better judgement you invite him to your place. You’re surprised he shows up on time.

When he greets your parents, it’s like he’s a completely different person. He laughs at your dad’s jokes, compliments your mom, and even asks about what they are working on.

Billy is even more jealous of you when he sees how loving and caring your parents are, how happy and peaceful your home life is. 

The second time he comes over he has to excuse himself and go to the bathroom to splash some water on his face and calm down. All he can think of is everything you have that he doesn’t.

He finds you and your parents sitting tightly together as your mother reads a book out loud in french for you and your dad. 

“Sit down honey, I’ll translate for you,” your mother says. 

By the fourth day he accepts your parents’ invitation to stay for dinner. He has fun, he’s fascinated by your parents’ stories and their research work. 

You get a glimpse of the real Billy and can’t help but smile. 

One day during dinner your mother talks about your exes trying to embarrass you, and asks Billy if there’s a special boy in his life.

Billy’s breath hitches and starts to sweat. He stands up quickly bumping into the table, saying he has to leave. 

Your mom tries to apologise and your dad asks him to stay. 

You follow him outside the house. “Billy, wait!” 

He turns around to face you and his eyes are red as he tries to hold in the tears. “Hey, it’s all—“ “I’m not a... I’m not.” he grunts before getting in his car and speeding off. 

Billy parks somewhere secluded and hits the steering wheel with his fists, he cries and yells in anger. He’s angry, sad, jealous. 

He cries for his mom, for a life he wishes he had, for the love and support he yearns for. 

Billy returns the following week to finish the project. He plans to just focus on the project, finish it and never return. 

Your mom answers the door. “So good to see you, love, we’ve missed you,” she says warmly rubbing his arm, “sorry about the other day”. He almost doesn’t hear the last sentence, he hasn’t heard those words or felt that way in a long time. Someone being happy to see him, missing him, calling him love. 

Your dad greets him and calls him son, and asks him to join him later in the study to show him their latest findings. 

You and Billy don’t talk about what happened. You focus on your project.

“Have you always been out to your parents?” Billy blurts out.

You decide to be honest. “Yeah, they sort of figured it out when I was little.” You tell him how growing up you met all kinds of people through your parents. You tell him about your parents’ gay friends that you call uncles and aunts. Telling him how you always felt free to be yourself with your parents even though you know the world is cruel and unaccepting. 

After a moment of silence Billy speaks. He talks about the only openly gay person he ever met, a friend of his mom back in California. He tells you about how his father hated his mom’s friend and got in fights with his mom about it. 

He tells you about his dad, how aggressive and angry he is. He doesn’t tell you about the physical abuse. He went on about how unhappy he was, and how different your lives were. 

You start to see why Billy acts the way he does. Bullying others is his way to feel he is in control.

“How do you do it?” 

“What?” 

“Being gay like that, you don’t hide.” 

“We only live once, I’m not gonna let a world full of bigots tell me I can’t be myself and be happy.” You pause. ”Billy? You can always be yourself here.”

After you finish your project, Billy keeps coming to your place to hang out. 

He’s more relaxed and tones down the attitude. He even starts being nice to Max.

He’s still the bad boy to everyone else, but when he enters your home all that stays outside.

You learn more about the real Billy. How he likes science and music. How curious he is. How funny he can be. And you slowly start to fall for this Billy.

One day Billy and you are in the living room listening to music lying on the carpet and giggling when your mom comes in. “Honey, your friends are here.”

You both look up and see a shocked Steve and the kids, and a grinning Robin. Max is especially shocked by the whole scene.

“Oh hey guys, you know Billy, right? We’re just listening to this new album.”

Billy panics, and stands up to escape, “I have to go.” You understand, not wanting to force him into anything. 

The others sit down looking suspiciously at Billy as he leaves. Billy avoids all eye contact. “What did I get himself into?” Billy thinks. 

Meanwhile Robin and you have each other’s arm over your shoulders as you sing dramatically.

“Is anyone going to talk about how you were on the floor giggling with Billy Hargrove?” Mike asks. 

One rainy night, Billy is driving to your house. His eyes sting, his knuckles turn white gripping the wheel. He feels his cheek and eye starting to swell. He stays on the driveway debating on what to do. He sees your bedroom light on and goes to ring the bell hoping that you open the door.

It’s your mom that opens the door. “Billy? Come on in, love, you’re soaking wet.” When he steps into the lit hallway your mom finally sees his face. “Oh my god, sweetheart. What happened?” 

“Who is it darling? Oh Billy!  Are you okay, son?” Your dad asks him.

Billy wants to lie, he had this planned, he would have said how he got into a fight with another guy and didn’t want to go home looking like that. “I got—I...” he tries. But he can’t keep it in anymore. “It was... My—my dad...” he chokes as he lets out a cry. 

He feels two sets of arms engulf him, and he lets is all out. He cries like he’s never cried before. He thinks he hears your name being called. He hears your parents’ voices, encouraging and supportive words he can barely make up. He cries even more when he think of how these people that he met not long ago care more about him than his own father. 

You find your parents consoling Billy. Your mom is holding him while your dad rubs circles on his back. And Billy holds on to them like his life depends on it.“Billy?” He looks up to you and you see his broken face, all the pain and suffering he has endured and your heart breaks for him. 

You help him get up and walk him to the living room. Your dad goes to prepare the guest room and your mother prepares some tea. Billy is curled into a ball under a blanker with his head on your lap. You run your hand through his hair as you rub his arm comfortingly. 

When he calms down, he starts telling you of everything his dad has done. All the punches, the bruises, the hurtful words. 

Later you take him to the guest room, you help him get his clothes off and rub some medicine over his bruises. 

“Can you stay with me?” 

“Of course.”

You hold him close, his face pressed on your chest. 

For the first time in a long while Billy sleeps peacefully.

After that day your parents take action, they’re on the phone with their lawyers, looking at how they can help Billy and Max.

Your parents help him get custody of Max. 

The both of them move in with your family. 

“Can’t believe you’re taking me to live with your boyfriend,” Max tells him. “He’s just a friend,” he groans. “Yeah, right.”

That night Billy is in your bed as you read to him, his head on your lap. “Thank you,” he says pulling your book down to look at you. “What for?” You ask, running a hand through his hair. “For saving me, and Max.” You smile and kiss his forehead and continue with the story.

In the morning you wake up to Billy facing you, looking at you and he smiles. 

“You okay?” He nods and reaches for your hand, holding it tightly as he scoots closer to you.

You move a loose strand of hair behind his ear, caressing his cheek, feeling how soft his skin is. 

You two stay like that for a while just enjoying each other’s warmth in silence, playing with your hands and looking into other’s eyes. Neither of you can’t stop smiling. 

“I love you, (y/n).”

“I love you too, Billy.”

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

out of context of course, what do you take me for? a sane person?

"they made lightning mcqueen hot"

"inch resting"

"Nix: Cars (2006) several people are typing..."

"im evaporating"

"enjoy precipitation"

"tow mater is more attractive than lightning mcqueen/hj"

"lightning mcqueen looks like he would call me a slur"

"why did I come back to a discussion regarding the attractiveness of vehicles"

"lark is the braincell of shiftblr tbh"

"you all need some grass in your life"

"me over here simping for block men and now literal cars"

"didn't nick wilde commit fraud canonically"

"i have no strong opinions on whether or not nick wilde is attractive"

"I AM AROMANTIC AND I AM NOT IMMUNE TO NICK WILDE"

"I am bisexual and I. Am not into Nick Wilde based on a simple fact he looks like he will drink all my pepsi and call me names"

"What is shiftbkr but not a bunch of simps"

"cries in Bianca Monroe"

"listen i have a folder called gayass

it is mostly pictures of kyoka jiro and virgil sanders"

"Nick Wilde x Reader where he steals your car 📷 carjacker to lovers AU 📷"

"he says "mama i like to step on keyboard""

"MY MOM JUST WALKED IN AND I HAD TO TELL HER I WAS LOOKING AT LIGHTING MC QUEEN HUMAN FANART"

"crab walks away"

""Y/N..." Nick whispered into your ear. "Your car...is a Honda Civic, right?" You looked up at Nick with a baffled expression. "Nick, my beloved? Whatever are you talking about?" "Just asking..." He said as he let you out of his embrace. "Hey, wanna see a magic trick, babe?" Your eyes sparkled. "Really, Nick? Of course!" Nick smiled. "Ok, close your eyes!" You giggled and closed your eyes, waiting for Nick to tell you to open up. Instead, you heard the loud rumble of a car starting up, and you open your eyes. Nick has stolen your car, and he has driven off into the sunset..."

"did y'all know his name used to be canonically Montgomery--he changed it to lightning mcqueen to get rid of his past"

"That is my exit number"

"cars trauma arc"

"wait do y'all know about car jesus" "as if jesus wasn't a ford focus in the bible"

"oh yall do not want to know about the trauma in my cars dr lmao"

"Dewit tau style babey make Lightning McQueen outlive everyone and stalk their reincarnations"

"Do they baptize other cars in like gasoline then"

"there is a pope car in the cars universe which means car jesus died for cars sins"

"NOT THE BOOMER MEMES"

"-lays facedown on the floor while caramelldansen plays-"

"like im serious how many of you guys endorse me falling face down on my floor" (NOT THE SAME PERSON AS PREVIOUS QUOTE)

"I will be Tall and no one can stop me"

"is a soft floor?"

"stop I thought faceplant meant like a succulent in the shape of a face instead of falling onto your noggin for a solid 10 seconds"

"Touch some grass??? What about eating grass"

"what if for every employee of the month i just printed out really horrible boomer memes"

"what ab smoking grass /j"

"Can the grassdirt smoothie be a special in the cafe"

"PLEASE IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR REWRITINH THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE WHIKE SPEEDRUNINT MINECRAFT"

"you have to get good dirt from like the middle of a pennsylvanian forest for it to taste good though"

"I ate a four leaf clover as a kid cause i thought it would make me lucky"

"guys how do i see the mee6 leaderboard"

"I used to think i was half dragon and I ate plants out of sidewalk cracks"

"i think i punched someone"

"my parents told me to stop doing that so I looked at them and ate a flower"

"I ate grass when I was 9 bc I read warrior cats and thought I was a medicine cat ....................."

"bees are just spicy flies"

"I had a mental breakdown when I was three cause I didn’t know how to turn off a phone"

"My mom drank a bee once"

"when I was a baby I kinned ink sans."

"bro who here find the yellow hat man from curious george fine as heck 📷📷📷"

"mY LUNGSSSSSS"

"no one topping Him"

"I like em big"

"I think Moto Moto has no game like move over hunky boy I could beat you 1v1 Roblox Arsenal 📷📷📷"

"If you didnt have a crush on springtrap, jeff the killer, or Underfell/Gaster/Error sans don't talk to me /j"

"LOOK THEY'RE BOTH DILFS WITH ABS THAT WOULD FIGHT GOD"

"ZORO IS BANNED"

"Guys please help I found my old fnaf fanart from when I was 8 I'm in literal tears"

"OH NO BOT MY FIFTH GRADE HAMILTON PHASE"

"The worst attraction ive ever had has to be Sombra Overwatch"

"My family is like "save all ur art so I can sell it when you're famous" I literally could not sell this if I tried"

"screaming puppet"

"I just remembered Ive drawn overwatch/hamilton crossover fanart"

"my hermit crabs ate each other again"

"we're cannibals ????"

"having me here is a curse you have inflicted on yourselves and I for one am glad for it <3" "scitters around like a crab in anticipation"

"CARB DAY"

"WE NEED TO HAVE A WATCH OARTY"

"hey y'all ill be right back i have to throw away a crab carcass"

"if I watch cars I'm going to start laughing in the middle of it nonstop just because the word cars is funny and also cars are funny like how do you move silly little metal box with rubber circles"

"Lark asleep post catboy pitbul"

"Mwista Wowldwide! Nya!" "hermit crab 2: electric boogaloo"

"Is that why your name is chaos"

"manifest the crab power!!"

"cool dex fact: i can't read 📷"

"sighs adds to worship these entities list"

"with a knife <3"

"yeah and if he betrays me I could probably throw him across the atlantic ocean"

"give me his eyes"

"my good citizen i am a- wait no im nonbinary nvm"

"it worked on a fish idk what to tell you"

"what is gender??? Is that a board game?? If so can I be apples to apples that one's my favorite"

"CHUTES AND LADDERS"

"anyways actually my gender is Candyland"

"Oh god romes the destroyer of friendships/j"

"i am a simple gay i see math i run in the opposite direction survival instincts 101"

"math my beloathed"

"algebra makes me want to rip open a bag of swedish fish and swallow them whole"

"cackles in they're au characters and this will be very fun"

"pog !!!! me too ksajgks one of my drs is a sanders sides au"

"Is that bipper"

"tumblr sexyman"

"Good because he’ll fuck u up if u hurt a child"

"I want a wing-suit"

"looks like a bean would poison someone"

"my hermit crabs are cannibals what can i say"

"sonic the hedgehog kinnie"

"get yourself a man who is capable of the most ungodly actions but won't do them because of their morality owo"

"tell him he can steal my wallet"

"eyes"

"idk about y'all but I need blueberry sweet tea to live"

"y'know the red souls from soul eater i really want to eat those"

"but like only respectable crimes like stealing from elon musk"

"You can go cultbashing with he!"

"He acts like a flamboyant gay man, but if a flamboyant gay man was straight."

"Simp Satan 📷"

"definitely arson"

"They look like they enjoy lemon squares and other lemon desserts"

"Satan is all-powerful but he spends most of his time building honeymoon locations because he is convinced that the protag loves him"

"bc shes the reincarnation of his dead wife or something i guess"

annd here's a quote from our very own dream (@shiftingwastaken) that sums this post up:

"shiftblr but context makes it worse"

[tanakavox]

here guys. This reaction was done @bssaz97 again. And that's it for the author's note.

"I miss baby Zwei!" Weiss sulked.

"We know Weiss, you've been saying that for the past ten minutes," Blake's vein appeared on her head.

"Why can't we see more of him! He was so cute and innocent!" Weiss crosses her arms and huffs..

"He spent the entire time antagonizing me!" Jaune replied.

"He can never do wrong." Weiss cemented in her mind.

"Forget it VB, she's a lost cause." Yang told her fellow blonde.

"Well let's see what this next viewing has in store for us all." Ren calmly stated.

The screen shows Jaune on Planet Namek facepalming.

"Urgh, what was that idiot DOING bringing me here!" He mutters before turning to look around his eyes widening. "It's... Wait a minute, I can feel it... This is my home! I can finally see its beauty! The lush blue fields, the crystal clear waters, the wind brushing past my... GOD, THIS IS BORING!" He yelled out before groaning. "No wonder I feel at home."

"We're back to Namek!" Ruby shouted in excitement.

"And there's alien Jaune-Jaune!" Nora jumped in.

"Wait isn't this the world where Cinder is supposed to be really powerful?" Jaune asked.

"...oh crud/shit." Many of the original audience replied. Those who were new to the theater didn't exactly understand what they meant but supposed they would eventually see why.

The scene cuts to Cinder confronting Mercury, Oscar, Neptune, and Trifa

"Oh hell yeah! Emerald wake up, we're back in the world where I'm a badass prince!" Mercury says as he shakes her shoulder.

Emerald loudly snores.

"Hey! You said to wake you when 'the snooze fest' was over."

"Not… interested." Emerald conveniently snored.

"Emerald, you will watch this viewing." Cinder orders.

"Yes Cinder!" Emerald miraculously much more awake.

"Wooow." Mercury drawls, shaking his head in genuine disappointment.

"Shut it!" Emerald hissed.

Cinder smiles coldly at them. "Well, Mercury. You've finally pulled it off. You've managed to dash my hopes entirely. With some help, I see." she turns to look at the rest of the group.

"Quack!"

"Neptune, seriously, not helping!" Oscar said ebowing him.

"I can try."

"I'm very curious. Where exactly are you from?" Cinder asks calmly.

"Don't you snitch!" Nora shouted at the screen.

"We're from rem-" Neptune started before Oscar stopped him.

"Neptune, no!"

"Oh right... Thanks for stopping me, Oscar. 'Cause I can't shut-."

"They're from Remnant." Trifa deadpanned.

"Traitor!" Ruby glared at the girl on the screen. Her anger was shared by many in the audience. Whether good or bad.

Blake was feeling the same amount of betrayal twice after remembering how Trifa was one of Ada-his agents sent to kidnap her in the past.

" Little bow girl, why?!" Neptune shouted out in disbelief.

"Because my name is Trifa."

Nora huffed, "Well maybe your name should little bi-!"

"Nora please." Ren asked his oldest friend and companion to let it go.

"'Sigh.' Fine, but I'm still mad." Nora said.

"Oh good. I'll stop by there on the way home. Pick up some space eggs, some space milk, and BLOW IT THE F**K UP!" Cinder screamed at them before calming here. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm usually far more composed. I'm just a little bit ABSOLUTELY LIVID." She said with barely contained rage.

"Oh, Cinder. Quit being such a bitch. I lost my chance at immortality too and you don't see me crying about it." Mercury said mocking with a smirk.

"Yep. Sucks to suck!" Yang stayed for both Cinder's in the audience and on screen.

"Care to say that to my face." Cinder stood up.

"Whoa now One Eye Cinder. We can't fight here, remember, so I can say whatever I like and there's nothing you can do to stop me." Yang explains with a toothy grin.

Cinder growls, but reluctantly sat back down as she began to curse this theater's damned rules.

"Yes, Mercury. But you see, the difference between us is I'll live long enough to regret it." Cinder charges at Mercury and engages him in battle with a battle cry.

Scene cuts to Jaune flying through the sky

"Hey we were getting to the good part!" Mercury shouted.

"And what part would that exactly be Mercury?" Cinder asked directly.

"The fight scene, what else." He said nonchalantly.

Cinder stared at him for a moment before looking back at the screen. Mercury was one of the few people that she could tolerate back talking to her so she paid it no mind.

"Everything looks the goddamn same on this goddamn planet!" He thinks and sighs before he sees something on the ground. "Wait a minute, a body! SOCIAL ACTIVITY!" Jaune yells as he yells flying down and landing next to a body, which was Hazel. "Please tell me you're not dead!"

Hazel begins to speaks in Namekian/Klingon

"What the hell is he saying?" Coco asked.

"It appears he is attempting to communicate with Mr. Arc's alternate in their native tongue." Ozpin rationalized.

"Do you know what he's saying Jaune?" Velvet asked.

"Velvet, I think Ozpin means-."

Velvet giggles before she starts laughing. Her team along with his shortly after.

Jaune was staring at them confusedly before his eyes widened in realization. He chuckled while rolling his eyes, "Oh haha, very funny Velvet."

Ruby just stared at the exchange expressionless, the joke was funny but for some reason she didn't want to laugh. Weird.

"Ah, crap. I find the only living thing for miles- and he's so broken he can't even talk right."

" I was speaking Namekian, you idiot. Don't you know anything about your own people?" Hazel gasps out, barely holding on to life.

"Well, we're demons, right?" Jaune asks hopefully.

"Eh, more like slug people."

"Ah, dammit! I liked it better when I was a demon."

"And I liked it better when I had proper bladder control. Nobody's perfect."

"Yeah, I've been meaning to ask about that. What happened?"

"Let's just say our world elder's kind of a giant green asshole."

Jaune and many of the other male audience members bowed their heads in silence for loss bestowed on the Namekian people.

"Yeesh! Port's a bit of a dick in this one… or lack thereof," Yang quipped.

"YANG!"

"Too soon?" Yang winced.

"Preachin' to the choir on that one." Jaune agreed, an image of Ozpin showing in his head. "Well, it's been fun, but I have to go DIE again…" He turns to leave.

Jaune mentally groaned as he remembered that in this world his life was the one entwined with Ozpin. Also he no more thrilled about the prospect of seeing his alternate die (again?) in a way that could've been easily avoided.

"Dang Arc, you're a bit sassy in this world, huh?" Coco asked.

"And green with antennas." Velvet whispered to Fox.

"Ahhh," Fox nodded, getting a clue of what the counterpart looked like.

"Wait. I might be able to help you." gasped out Hazel.

"Look, buddy. If you want to add me on MySpace, I switched to Spacebook a while ago." Jaune turns to left again.

"What's MySpace?" Oscar asked.

"Beats me, but it sounds mega old." Yang commented.

Ozpin, Glynda, Qrow and even Winter winced at Yang's unintentional jab at them. All of them who used to own MySpace accounts.

Salem just looked confused at the mention of these names. 'What's a MySpace and Spacebook? Is it a form of communication?' She thought to herself.

"No, no, no, no. Listen. I think I know something that might work out for both of us. I don't wanna die and you seem pretty lonely."

"DESPERA-, I mean, go on."Jaune said, getting yells before switching back to a normal tone.

"There's a special ability our people share. Forbidden, even amongst our most sacred clans."

"And we're just going to abuse it?" Jaune asked

"Oh, maliciously!" Hazel said with a grin.

"Bitchin'! How we do?"

"Well that didn't take much convincing at all." Emerald said, impressed by how quickly it took the dying Hazel to convince Arc to comment on what was probably the Namekians form of the Black Arts.

"Hey Jaune-Jaune needs all the power he can get if he wants to kick Cinder's butt!" Nora shot back. "Yeah!" Ruby echoed Nora's sentiment.

"Well, first you put your hand upon me."

" 'Kay" He places his hand on Hazel's elbow)

"Yes. Like that. Now lower."

"Uh-huh."

"Lower."

"Hmm…"

"Little lower."

"Hmm..".

"Ah! If we had junk, you'd be gay right now." Jaune groans as Hazel smirks at him. "Fusing!"

"Gods Dammit!" Jaune facepalmed. He couldn't believe how his alternate would fall for such an obvious trick…. though to be honest he probably would have fallen for it all the same.

Jaune fuses with Hazel, a bright light blinding the viewers. After it's disappears, Jaune only is there and he looks at his hands in wonder.

"Wow. Unreal. My gosh. This is amazing! I feel INCREDIBLE!" He then begins to chant Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! I can win! I feel great! I-can-do-this! HAAA…"

Hazel's voice from inside is heard inside Jaune's head. "What are you doing?" He asked.

"Nothing." Jaune replies after stammering a bit.

"Really? 'Cause it looked like you were chanting to yourself."

"Are you in my head?" Jaune ask changing the subject.

"Yup. Don't worry; supposedly I should fade away into your subconscious. Sooner or later."

"Is this what it was like for you?" Jaune asked Oscar.

"Pretty much." Oscar deadpanned

"...Wow, that's really weird." Jaune slumped in his chair.

"Yep. Well, you kinda get used to it after a while." Oscar replied.

"Does it?" Jaune asked him seriously.

"...No." Oscar slumped into his chair as well.

'If I could have carried this burden in my original body for all these millennia and spared you, I would have… no one deserves this burden.' Ozpin told himself in his mind. He determined it would fix nothing if he told them that, there was no changing the past.

"Okay. So, what now?"

"By my estimate, this fusion should have given you just enough power to wipe out the bitch who killed our people."

"And?"

"Well, let me put this in terms you'll understand: You can win! You feel great! You-can-do-this!" Hazel said, repeating Jaune's chant.

"Oh, ha-ha!"

"Yeah go Jaune/Fearless Leader!" Ruby and Nora both cheered.

Jaune's face turned beet red, but he did appreciate their show of support.

The scene cuts to Mercury and Cinder in a brawler lock

"Impudent... little…" Cinder hissed. Her scouter shows "F**K THIS I'M OUT" before exploding on her face, Cinder grunting in pain.

"Damn, Mercury must actually be pretty strong to make that device off itself," Yang stated.

"Why do you sound so surprised blondie? Still sore about our match up?" Mercury quipped.

"You are so lucky I can't mop the floor with your face." Yang shot back, her eyes flashing crimson.

Mercury and Cinder both back off, producing a small crater due to their power.

"I'm impressed, Mercury. When did you graduate from pull-ups?" Cinder said mocking.

"About the same time you got off the rag." Mercury fired back.

Cinder smirks a bit. "Cute. But bear no false hopes, Mercury. You're a mere paper tiger in front of a storm. You have no idea what true power I possess."

"It's that you can transform, right?"

"I can transform…" Cinder's face's falls. "Okay, when and how?"

"Guldo told me."

A flashback of a conversation between Mercury and Guldo appears

"So... Did you know that Cinder can transform?" Guldo said.

"Huh. That right?" Mercury said disinterested.

"Yeah. And Burter's gay."

"Really!?" Mercury asked, genuinely surprised

(back to present)

"And then I threw a dog treat at him. True story."

"That's so rude!" said the collective voices of Ruby, Weiss, Velvet, and Fiona.

"Oh cry me a river, I lost my conscience long ago." Mercury replied back.

"Right. But if you are so aware, why do you persist in goading me?" Cinder question raising an eyebrow.

Mercury grinned viciously."Because Cinder. You're not dealing with the average Saiyan warrior anymore. I am a Super Saiyan!"

….

"A what?" Oscar asked.

Cinder rolls her eyes at this apparently hearing this before. "Oh, here we go!"

"That's right, Cinder. I've arisen beyond the limits of a normal Saiyan, and into the realm of legend- the legend that you fear. The legend known throughout the entire universe as the most powerful warrior to ever exist!" Cinder starts speaking faintly at this point alongside him. "I, Prince Mercury, have become a..". Cinder cuts him off

"...Super Saiyan. Blah, blah, blah, blah, I get it. Then you slayed the Jabberwocky and went on to save Narnia." She clearly wasn't taking him seriously.

"Wow! This Super Saiyan sounds awesome!" Yang concluded. Her sister as well as Jaune, Nora, Oscar and Ren. What? He could like things.

"Thanks for the praise Blondie." Mercury said.

"Yeah something tells me your alternate is way too overestimating himself." Emerald stated.

"You're just jealous you're not a Super Saiyan." Mercury shot back, unfazed by her earlier remark. Causing Emerald to roll her eyes.

While the name seemed silly to the more mature members of the audience, they too were intrigued by the tale of this being.

"Go ahead and mock me, Cinder, but I'm not afraid of you. So why don't you doll yourself up and get ready for a night on the town, because I'm about to take you to a ballroom blitz."

"Fine. I'll indulge you, Mr. Super Saiyan. But before I do I have a funny little story I'd like to tell you."

"Funny how?"

"I like to call it, "I killed your dad"."

"...Was that supposed to shock me?" Mercury questioned.

Mercury stares at Cinder blankly. "So "ha-ha" funny."

"You see, thanks to a rogue lower-class warrior, your father caught wind of my plans…"

(flashback to planet Mercury)

A saiyan runs up to What seemed to be Marcus Black

"King Mercury, I have urgent news!"

"Speak, Butarega." King Marcus/Mercury said in a booming tone.

'Wait why does the old bastard have my name? Eh, guess it doesn't matter. Wait, does that make me a junior?!' Mercury thought.

"Well well, looks like I should call you Junior now. Huh?" Emerald comments, her smirk showing she greatly appreciated this new knowledge.

"I'm not a junior!" Mercury yelled.

"What's that? Couldn't hear you Junior!" Yang joins in on the teasing.

"I'm gonna get back at you both. Just you wait." Mercury growled. Hating how the tables have turned on him.

"Bardock has gone absolutely mad, sire!"

Off-screen someone screamed out: "Cinderrrr!"

"What's all the commotion about?" King Marcus/Mercury asked.

"He's been telling everyone that Cinder plans to destroy Mercury!"

"Wait, my son, the planet, or me?"

BUTAREGA looks at the king for a few moments before answering " ...Yes."

King Marcus/Mercury blasts Butarega away.

"Oh my gods!" Ruby cried out.

She and many others in the audience were shocked that the Saiyan King just killed his subordinate so callously. However, both Salem and Cinder were impressed at the King's show of force.

"Freakin' smartass." King Marcus/Mercury mutters and goes look a the Counselor. "Counselor Obleck, what do you think?"

"Let me tell you what you need to do. You need to sit him down…" Oobleck began.

"Uh-huh." King Marcus/Mercury said nodding his head.

"...you look her dead in the eye…"

"Yes."

" ...and you say, "Don't blow up my planet.""

"What? He can't be serious." Winter remarked.

"It appears that this version of Bart is not as wise or tactful as he is in our world." Ozpin rationalized.

Teams RWBY and JNR pressed 'X' to doubt.

"And you think that will work?" King Marcus/Mercury asked.

"she'd have to be aaaaaaawfully evil if it didn't. And I'm not gonna lie, I like the cut of her jib." Oobleck said with a grin.

"All right, but I want you to take my son, the Prince, off-planet just in case things go south."

"Don't worry, sir. You'll do juuuuuust fine."

"Wait. Hold on a damn minute, the old bastard actually cares about someone other than himself? Yeah like that's legit." Mercury crosses his arms.

Some in the audience looked at the silver haired assassin and just for a moment, they felt sympathy for him.

shifts to King Mercury approaching Cinder,.

"Cinder, can I sit down and have a word with-" King Marcus/Mercury said before Cinder interpreted him.

"SHORYUKEN!" Cinder yelled out, uppercutting King Marcus/Mercury in the jaw, causing the latter to fall back while producing with an echoing scream.

"K.O.! YOU WIN!" A voice yelled out.

"Yatta." Cinder whisper out looking at the king's dead body with grin

"Seems negotiations didn't go as he was expecting." Cinder floated to herself. What she didn't notice was that Mercury had stared at her after that statement was said.

He wasn't sure why but hearing her gloat about killing his dad made him feel… odd. It's probably the popcorn he was eating. Nothing more.

(back to present)

"And then I blew the planet up. The end."

Mercury stares at Cinder confused. "How did you know about the parts you weren't there for?"

Cinder gives a blank stare at Mercury and then proceeds to transform.

"Wow, nice comeback Cinder. Really showed him." Jaune said.

Cinder chose to ignore the blonde fool, she didn't dare waste the energy to acknowledge him.

"Nep, do you feel that?" Oscar asked with a fearful look as Cinder's power grew as her body.

"I taste that!" Neptune screamed a look as fear on his face as well.

Cinder finishes transforming into his second form, a Bigger bulkier form.

"Whoa! She's huge! Like that Hazel guy from Haven!" Nora shouted.

"She sure is..." Emerald didn't know how to feel about this new form of Cinder's. It looked too bulky and tall.

"She kinda looks like a bull with those horns." Ruby noted.

"All done." Cinder smiles a bit looking at all of them satisfied. "And judging by the expression on your face, so are you."

"What...? How?" The usual cockiness in his voice was gone.

"Let's be practical and put a number to that feeling, shall we? Last time I clocked this form it was at... one million." Cinder's smile only grows widener.

The audience didn't know what she meant by that but they determined that it must've meant that she was terrifyingly strong.

Cinder loved it, if only she could feel what that power was like. She might even get drunk from it.

"You're lying!"

"Am I? Am I really?" Cinder sarcastically said, raises her hand and explodes the island that everyone is currently standing on, making an explosion so big that it can be seen from the planet. Cinder is shown standing on what's left of the island.

"Whoa!" Fiona and CVY cried out. This being their first time seeing a destructive force of this magnitude. Whitley also sweat dropped, while he had been pleased with how powerful he was in one of the previous worlds. This was an entirely different kind of power than he thought was ever possible.

"Not impressed!" Mercury yelled off screen. "I can do that, too!"

"Neptune, are you okay?" Oscar asks flying above the destroyed island.

"Yeah, and I've got a Little bow girl right here!" Neptune replied with a grin holding Trifa closely.

Cinder begans sings to. " Peaceful young races with fires on their houses

Millions of voices all silenced like mouses

Watching the cowards bow toward their new king

These are a few of my favorite things "

"Oh great she's singing now, as if this Cinder wasn't terrifying enough." Oscar said while clinging to his seat in fear.

"Is it just me, or is she singing to herself?" Neptune asks but is cut off by Cinder charging at him and impaling him with one of her horns, causing Neptune to drop Trifa.

(Neptune Owned Count: 15)

Neptune screams in pain.

"Oh no!" Ruby cried out. But immediately was off put by the showed counter on the screen.

Some in the audience giggled at the sight of the counter, even if they knew it was wrong.

"Neptune!" Oscar screamed out.

"Well, he's dead." Mercury deadpanned in his head.

"This is... the worst... pai-i-i-in!" Neptune said through gritted his teeth.

"Really? Sure it isn't this?" She looks up and starts shifting her head up and down." Or this? Or this? Or this? Or this? (Neptune Owned Count: 16-21, with two 1Ups coming up in the last two ones)

"Neptune, stop! You're making him stronger!" Oscar pleaded.

"I-can't-help-it!" Neptune screamed.

(Neptune Owned Count: 22-25)

At this point most of the audience were laughing. It was a horribly dark joke, but the presentation was spot on and too hilarious. The huntsmen and huntresses that knew the blue haired boy felt very guilty, but they couldn't stop laughing.

"One down!" Cinder throws Neptune off her horn and towards the lake. "Ah, I think impalement is my favorite way to kill a person."

Oscar begans to shake with rage. "You condescending... sadistic... callous... MOTHERF**KER!"

"Pardon?" Cinder ask with a raised eyebrow but then Oscar attacks Cinder by kicking and punching her in the face before knocking her upward with an uppercut and finally kicks her towards the ground. Oscar then starts charging up an energy blast.

"WHOO! Go Cute Boy Oscar! Woo-woo-woo!" Nora cheered on her newest teammate. His other friends joined in cheering for Oscar's alternate.

Oscar was deeply embarrassed but also very ecstatic that he was able to keep up with the frightening tyrant.

"Oscar SMASH EFFEMINATE ALIEN! Oscar STRONGEST THERE IS!" Oscar thought to himself.

Oscar launches a ki blast directly at Cinder, causing a massive explosion. Oscar is then seen in midair catching his breath. Cinder is seen lying face down on the ground, covered in sand from Oscar's assault.

"Ten points for team ALPN!" Nora cheered.

"Yeah, how's that feel, Cinder?" Mercury yelled out. "Now if you can, why don't you pick your sorry ass up and take on a REAL Saiyan…" Mercury's voice trails off as Cinder is seen getting up with a annoyed look.

"Huh. That happened." She muttered before turning to Mercury. "Mercury, mind sitting right there for just a moment, I need to go play babysitter."

"Oh crap, abort Oscar! Abort!" Jaune called out.

"Think! What would Dad do in this situation?" Oscar began to think to himself in a panic.

A flashback of Sun wearing a backpack showed up.

"Bye, son!" Sun said in the flashback in a big dopey smile.

"Damn it Sun." Blake facepalmed.

"Wow, my other self has some issues." Oscar realizes.

(back to present)

"I'm beginning to think I have issues…" Oscar thought to himself when he got punched by Cinder and hit the ground. He tries to get up, but gets crushed by Cinder's foot.

Cinder turns to grin at the Silver haired man. "So, Mercury. Does this get you angry?"

"It's getting ME angry!" Nora shouts at the screen. Her team, RWBY, Qrow, Ozpin and Winter show the same hostility towards the Cinder in the screen.

Mercury shrugs. "Not really. Kind of a smartass."

Cinder frowns "Well then, why am I even bothering?"

"Because you get off on it?" Mercury said hetaintly.

Cinder grins viciously. "Oh, unbelievably... Huh?" Cinder moves to dodges a disc but her tail gets cut off. She turns to glare at culprit.

"Alright, who has the balls?!" She screams out.

Camera zooms on to Neptune, who is the one responsible for cutting off Cinder's tail. Neptune then turns around and starts repeatedly spanking his butt.

"Kiss my ass, bitch! I'm immortal!"

Cinder growls angrily and flies after Neptune.

"Whoa! Neptune's back up already? I thought he was out for the count!" Yang confused. Happy that he lived but still confused as to how he was back in good shape.

Neptune imitates Curly's whooping sounds while flying away and screams: "Suuuck myy diiii…"

The shifts to Mercury thinking to himself. "How the hell did he get up? Oh, my God, I swear if he used that wish of immortality on himself, I am going to murd... " He stops himself and opens his mouth in shock. And speaks out loud after a short pause. "That... bastard."

"Hahaha-ha-ha! You can't kill an immortal!" Emerald laughed.

"Why are you laughing? Weren't you cheering for Cinder?" Mercury implies.

"I am but I'm also cheering against you." Emerald explains.

"You're despicable, you know that right?" Mercury deadpanned.

The scene shifts to Trifa healing Oscar "Come on... You can't leave me alone here; you're the only one I can talk to!" She mutters to herself.

Oscar eyes open, regaining consciousness."I... you... healed me."

"You are the only one I respect."

"Then why did you heal Neptune?"

"The better question is: why did I tell him he was immortal?"

"Ok where is this girl in real life, I'm starting to like her style." Emerald comments.

"I'm starting to not like this Bow Girl." Weiss concludes.

"Yeah that was kinda mean." Ruby adds.

"But it did give him a helluva confidence boost." Yang points out.

The audience reluctantly agrees with Yang.

Neptune flies back to the battlefield with a huge grin. "Holy crap! Thank God I'm immortal!"

"Actually, I healed you, you idiot!" Trifa said off-screen.

"Wait, so I could have died back there?" Neptune realized with his eyes widing.

"After all that you're just going to tear him down like that!" Weiss shouted.

"Yeah, and unlike the runt and I, you don't get a power boost from it." Mercury replied.

"Hax! I call hax!" Neptune whined.

The audience agreed with Screen Neptune.

"How did you escape?" Oscar asked.

"Oh, it was awesome!" See, She was gaining on me there for a minute, but then I managed to lose her in some crevices, but she kept cutting me off at every pass."

"She didn't just blow it up?" Mercury pointed out?"

"Thought the same thing, but no! So I thought fast and I used the Solar Flare on her!"

"And then you used your Kienzan to cut her in half?" Oscar asked gleefully

"Um…"

Cinder flies back to the battlefield, angrily and screams at them. "I WILL MOUNT YOUR HEAD WHERE MY TAIL USED TO BE!"

"To answer your question, Oscar. No, I did not do that." Neptune muttered.

"Damn seriously? He could have finished her off so easily, it was literally in his grasp." Coco shakes her head.

"Douse this bitch!" Mercury yelled.

Mercury, Oscar, and Neptune fire a barrage of energy blasts at Cinder, covering her in smoke.

"Did we get her?" Neptune asked

"Neptune, we can feel her energy. Why do you bother asking?" Oscar asked back annoyed.

"I'm an optimist."

"You're an idiot." Mercury said, glaring at him.

"You're both wrong. You're dead." Cinder said as the smoke cleared and is shown to be unfazed by the blasts.

"You know what? I'm sick of this." Oscar said, his face hardening. "If I'm gonna die, then I'm gonna go out the same way Jaune would!" He moves in to attack Cinder head-on.

"Oscar, no!" Neptune goes to fly after Oscar.

"No! What are you doing?! Don't go out like my other self!" Jaune shouted clutching his head.

RWBY, ALPN, and Ozpin were clouded in worry.

" No, goddamn it!" Mercury also flies after Oscar when a new figure surrounded by light appears in front of the trio. The light clears, and the figure is revealed to be Jaune.

"M... Mr. Jaune!" Oscar cried out.

"Yes! Fearless Leader is here for the rescue!" Nora cheered.

The Jaune in the audience let out a sigh of relief.

"Well, well, well! I'm legitimately surprised I missed one of you." Cinder smiles a bit. "But that's just fine because I've been working on some jokes. Now tell me if you've heard this one: How many Namekians does it take to-" She gets sent flying by a punch from Jaune.

"Just one." Jaune said stoically.

"GO JAUNE GO!" Ruby screamed.

Most of the audience looked towards her from her outburst, including Jaune who was staring wide eyed at her.

"Er, you know. Smash Tyrant Cinder's no good face." She attempts to save face, throwing out air punches to diffuse the situation.

"...Yeah!" Nora shouted.

[spectrumed]

5. sleep

It hardly gets dark in the Swedish summers. Between dusk to dawn, you’ve got about an hour to fall asleep before the sun rises again. If you struggle to fall asleep that fast, you can invest in some good window blinds. Or you can do as I do and place one big pillow over your face. Then the birds start singing around three o’clock in the morning. You can practically hear the sounds of Edvard Grieg’s Morning Mood playing at around four o’clock in the morning. Around five o’clock in the morning, it is as bright as midday. Did you have a good time sleeping? Or did you pace around in a circle having one hell of a panic attack? I thought you took some of those sleeping pills you got prescribed, they should have helped you fall asleep… wait, you did take them? They didn’t work? Oh, they did work, you just felt your body falling asleep while your mind stayed awake? That sounds terrible, real terrible. Very well. It’s morning now. Want some coffee?

You could form a religion out of sleeping. Let’s have sermons where we fill a whole auditorium full of beds and have our congregates take a big collective nap. Sleep for the sleep god! Pillows for the pillow throne! Sleep is a billion-dollar industry, there’s a plethora of handy products you can buy that promise to send you on a luxury liner to dreamland. Pills, mattresses, dreamcatchers, whatever your snoozy heart desires. You can go to a proper doctor and they might help you, or you can settle for the placebo effect and go to some fraudulent quack, instead. He might make you swallow some pills that contain arsenic, but hey, arsenic is a naturally occurring element. It can’t be all that bad for you if it is natural. And you do want to sleep, don’t you? If you take this pill in your mouth and swallow it with a glass of water, I promise you, you will sleep for a very long time.

The esteemed former president of the United States of America, Donald Trump, claims that he only needs four to five hours of sleep every night. While Mr. Trump is well-known to be a paragon of honesty, I do doubt he’s telling the truth. No, I actually do believe him when says that he only gets about four or five hours of sleep each night, I just don’t believe him when he says that is all he needs. He doesn’t look very well-rested, does he? And Margaret Thatcher, the similarly adored former prime minister of the United Kingdom, claimed that she also only needed about four hours of sleep every night. Yes, while researching the sleeping habits of famous monsters, I’ve come to the conclusion that amongst powerful individuals, not getting enough sleep has become a proper badge of honour. The belief is that if you don’t get enough sleep, that must be because you are living such a vibrantly successful life, and are so career-driven, that you simply haven’t got enough time to sleep for the full eight hours. People who sleep for more than four hours are lazy liberals. Go-getters like Trump has got to be out there, working, making decisions, raping women, and showing daddy what a good boy he is. Sleep is for the weak. But maybe I am weak. I sure like sleeping.

It’s the cultural hangover our society has had since the 80’s. Back when the yuppies wearing jackets with obscenely padded shoulders would happily chuck down eight to ten espressos in one go while A Flock of Seagulls was playing on the radio encouraging everyone to go running. And to be fair to them, with the constant fear of the doomsday clock hitting midnight, they really had no reason to think that they’d survive the decade. The new millennia, it seemed, would have no cities, no nature, no humans, only radiated mutants scouring the rubble that remains of civilization for cans of preserved something edible. Self-destructive behaviour was in. It was fashionable. Doubt people got enough sleep back then, between snorting coke and wondering if the next pandemic that hits the night clubs would start killing as many straight folks as gay folks. Well, here we are in the new 20’s, and we’ve got a pandemic that does appear to kill people regardless of sexual orientation. Sure, the looming threat of nuclear obliteration has been lessened dramatically, but we’ve largely come to exchange that anxiety for the fear of total environmental collapse, instead. No wonder 80’s nostalgia is a big thing right now. History doesn't repeat itself, but It often rhymes, said Mark Twain (supposedly.) I wonder how much coke Mark Twain would snort if he lived in the 80’s.

I notice a palpable difference in my mood and mental state when I’ve been getting good amounts of sleep. Lack of sleep results in lack of clear thinking. Caffeine, though it is something I am chronically addicted to, does not help fix a sleep-deprived mind. There are no tricks of revolutionary “life hacks” one can employ to get out of sleeping. To recover from depression, one has to sleep. Sleep often and sleep well. I cannot understate the importance of being well-rested. You cannot process information if you are tired. I am reminded of my teenage years seeing friends of mine who’d stay up all night, then come into school shuffling like agonised zombies. They got so frustrated when the teachers reprimanded them for snoozing in class. Well, dummies, it is your fault for drinking several dozen cans of Red Bull every day! I know that sleep does not always come easy. I know the terror of insomnia. But, c’mon! At some point, you’ve got to realise that sleep is essential. Maybe most of your problems stem from the fact that you refuse to get enough of it? Here’s where the tough love comes in. If you wanna get better, kiddo, then listen to me. It’s bedtime. Yes, I know you’d rather stay up late playing monopoly with your friends, but I’m confiscating your dice and I’ll only give it back to you when you’ve gotten some good sleep. Okay? You hear me, missy? You listen to your daddy now, and go to bed. No ifs or buts about it, princess, I’ve made myself clear. I know what is best for you, and you know that I am right. I���m your daddy.

But what if I can’t seem to fall asleep? Normally, it takes a long time for me to fall asleep. It is not uncommon for me to stay awake for two hours, maybe more, before I finally begin to sleep. Fearing that I won’t fall asleep gives me anxiety. That anxiety keeps me awake. I turn my body. I try lying on my side. First my left side, then my right side. I then try to lie on my back. I’ve got a song stuck playing in my head. Not even the whole song, just a ten-second segment of it. It’s playing over and over. I’m worried about the future, will I ever find security, will I ever find a wife, will I get to grow old? I worry about death. I keep hearing the music playing, it’s grating. I rearrange the pillows, in hopes that will make me feel more comfortable. But no, I keep tossing and turning like a fish caught on land. I’m getting frustrated. If only I could shut off my brain. I’m constantly thinking. I turn to my side again, but now I notice I’ve moved arounds so much that now the bed has shifted away from its position next to the wall. There’s now a gap between the bed and the wall. I almost fall down that gap. I get up and I push the bed back against the wall. I lay down in bed. The song is still playing.

How am I ever going to become a successful businessman if I am wasting so many hours just trying to get to sleep? This is the time I should be spending on the phone, yelling at people and making inappropriate sexual comments to my female employees. That is what good executives do. I need to get my life in order. I need to exercise more. I should practice mindfulness. I should get a life coach, a personal trainer, a stylist, an accountant, an assistant, a trophy wife, and a mistress. I need people in my life to take care of me. It’s funny how rich people create the sort of environment around them where people will take care of all their needs, effectively infantilising them. These people don’t even get to decide how to dress themselves. They’ve got fancy apartments, but they don’t choose any of the furniture. They’ve got art on the walls that they don’t like, but the art looks expensive, and that is all that matters. They’ve got kids, but they don’t raise them. Their spouses are cheating on them, but in fairness, they are cheating on their spouses. They don’t really even know what their jobs entails, as they’ve gotten promoted so many times that they’ve ended up in a position that is totally outside their realm of expertise. But they’re so powerful that no-one is able to fire them over their pretty blatant incompetence. They’re successful. They’ve made it. But they still can’t sleep at night. They only manage to successfully fall asleep at night after swallowing a fistful of pills along with a swig of vodka.

It must be easy being a self-help guru. Well, what I mean to say is that all you really need is charisma, which is something you need to be born with. But you don’t need to do any actual studying, any real research, or any kind of soul-searching or deliberation. All you need is to state what is obvious. You go on stage in front of an anxious audience, mostly composed of middle-class salesmen and miscellaneous white collar ghosts. You smile, show off your eerily bright teeth, and they clap. You tell them to go take care of themselves, to eat more healthily, to take walks, or go swimming, and love their partners. You tell them to drink less, or maybe, if they feel like it, they could drink more. I am sure you could spin alcohol as a positive or a negative, depending on what crowd you’re talking to. Tell them to appreciate family. Tell them to appreciate others. Live, laugh, but most of all, love. Tell them to go clean their rooms. Tell them to remember that if they’re on an airplane that is about to crash land, they need to put their own oxygen mask on before they can help others put theirs on. If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else? Now, go to bed!

You know all this stuff. Me telling you that you should sleep more doesn’t really help you. You know that you should sleep more. It’s not like as if you’re too dumb to realise that. And it’s not like as if you’re too dumb to realise that it is better to drink in moderation, and that you should smoke less weed. There are many small little things you can do to improve your life, to stop being a terminally unemployed slacker. It’s like your grandpa who tells you stories about life after the war when you could walk into the biggest building in town, slam your fist against the table and demand to be given a job and a house and a wife and a couple of kids, and that was all you needed to do. He can’t comprehend the fact that society doesn’t work like that, any more. Most people my generation have given up hope of ever owning a home, at least if they happen to live in the vicinity of a larger city. It seems that, no matter where you live, the cost of homes has risen to an impenetrable degree. It seems just as likely that you will be able to afford your very own genetically-engineered pet dragon before you will get to be a house-owner. It’s the fault of those damn boomers, why bother changing your ways, when the boomers are still in charge? Others may accuse you of wallowing in your own depression, but you are perfectly aware that this is exactly what you are doing. You are self-aware. But self-awareness on its own is not enough to motivate anyone. You still can’t see the point in doing anything constructive with your life. Life just feels so aimless. It’s easier to sit, smoke weed, and watch cartoons.

Pop psychology is problematic. To say the least. Take all those self-help gurus suffering from their messiah complexes and put them through the shredder. Don’t buy books thinking that they’ll offer you the kind of treatment you would get from an actual psychiatrist. I know that, depending on where you are in the world, treatment can get very expensive, but you’re not going to get better reading the book of some self-aggrandising narcissist’s collection of wishy-washy platitudes. Dr. Phil has done great evil pretending to be a therapist on the TV, and Jordan Peterson (despite having once been an esteemed scholar) has turned a generation of young internet-savvy zoomers into proto-fascists obsessed with the monogamy of lobsters. Pop psychology has become a guise for cult leaders to reap new followers. Getting treatment should not feel like joining a new religious movement. Maybe I’m just one of those annoying atheists, but I dare say, psychiatry works at its best when it's secular. You should not look at your psychiatrist as a prophet speaking to God. They’re just a doctor, and you need treatment.

I do not aspire to create a self-help blog. I do not promise that reading this blog will help you in any way. I would be overjoyed if someone came up to me and told me that I had inspired them to seek help. You may tell me that reading my words have made you feel less alone, knowing that others have gone through all these things that you are going through. When I felt at my worst, I remember reading the memoirs of people I admired who had similarly struggled in their lives, and I felt less alone. But none of those books pretended to exist principally to help others. Those books did help me, through the candid descriptions of struggles that I thought I was alone in experiencing. Knowing that some people had pulled through, managed to find a light at the end of the tunnel, it made me think I could one day be like them. The books didn’t seek to fix me, but they offered me a perspective that came to be very valuable later on, when I started going to therapy, and when I later started taking medication. Sometimes that is all you need. Not someone standing over you and telling you to go to bed, or to clean your room, or to stop drinking. You know all that, already. What you really need is the reassurance that things can indeed get better. Sleep will come.

[progressivestupidity]

IZ week 2020

so i wasn’t gonna do this because I didn’t think the prompts were very good for writing to, but I remembered the last day’s prompt was “role swap” so I decided to do something small and quick for it. this is all 7 days in one post. the first and last ones are drabbles and one of them is an au idea

@invader-zim-week​ here u go!!!

Day 1. Angst or Fluff 

Zim’s denial skills are god tier, but even they have their limits.

Drabble. I think this is the turning point for my eventual found family au

“When are you going to get it through your thick head that the Tallests aren’t coming?” Dib flings his arms out wide in his exasperation

“They’re just…!” Zim fumbles a bit, clenching and unclenching his fists. “The Armada is a million light years away! It takes time to travel that far, obviously. It took me six of your months to get here from Conventia and the Massive is further away from here now than that. They’ll come! You’ll see! And then you’ll be sorry!” Zim’s face is drawn tight. He’s tense all over, shoulders drawn up to his jaw, antennae pressed flat to his head, and normally Dib prides himself on reading Zim like an open book, but he’s too far gone in his own annoyance to see the warning signs.

It’s because he doesn’t see these red flags that Dib proceeds to stick his own foot in his mouth with his next words. “Maybe if you weren’t such an idiot and opened your eyes, you’d see the truth—that they dumped you here to get rid of you.”

“YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT?” Zim explodes, planting his tiny hands in Dib’s chest and shoving. The boy lands painfully on his ass. “I’m not stupid, Dib.” His name is spat like an insult. “I know they don’t care about me! Why do you think I try so hard?”

Dib gapes at Zim, looking up at him for once, stunned into silence. “I.” He swallows. “You know?”

“Of course, I know.” Zim’s voice is a low hiss and his eyes are narrowed to slits. “You don’t get banished and then just get over it. You don’t get put on trial to defend your life, forced to relive your worse mistakes, and get sentenced to death, only to be saved by freak miracle, and never acknowledge it happened.” Zim takes a deep breath and crosses his arms over his chest. Dib supposes he means for it to look intimidating, but it looks more like he’s holding himself together. “I’ve always known.”

“Why do you try so hard then? If you’ve always known there was no point?” Dib has to ask, has to know, has to hear the words from Zim’s own mouth.

Zim purses his lips and turns away. “There was always a point.” He falls silent for a moment, one antenna twitching up a bit in thought. “I just… I thought if I was just a little better, if I accomplished something important for once, that… I don’t know, that maybe I’d.” He pauses and grits his teeth. “Maybe if I actually managed to take over this filthy planet I’d be worth something for once.”

Day 2. Be Gay Do Crime (LGBTQA+ headcannons)

Dib is bi/pan/demi-ro, Gaz is lesbian, Zim is ace/demi-ro

Headcanons.

Dib seems like the kind of guy that would both take whatever kind of relationship he could get, but also appreciate it. Dib isn’t afraid to work for what he wants and isn’t afraid of things that are “not normal” so I see him being the type to not care about the gender of whoever he eventually decides to date. However, because Dib’s been burned in the past, he would need a deep and sincere emotional relationship to see someone as a potential romantic partner.

Gaz is just a big lesbian. Girls, man.

Zim is ace all the way baby!!! He’s just not interested, and sure, part of that is me projecting, but it just feels right for Zim to just… not care. He has no interest and doesn’t care for sexual attraction regardless of whether or not Irkens do/can/will have sex or not. On the other hand, Zim has expressed a softer side before and I can see him being able to maybe eventually develop romantic feelings for someone if he actually manages to get close enough to them for those kinds of feelings to even emerge. It would take a lot of time and a deep, meaningful friendship, but Zim has shown he’s capable of love. He just has to let himself feel it.

  Day 3. Fandom Appreciation

Found family fuck yeah

Headcanons.

I’m still in the process of thinking about how I wanna go about my found family au so here’s just some initial ideas

After ETF, Zim self isolates for a bit. The florpus hole was his Last Ditch Effort plan and had it succeeded, he knew he would have been destroyed too. He was okay with it. He had made peace with it. However, it failed, and now he’s forced to reflect on said failure

The Massive doesn’t escape the florpus. They’re gone, completely. If they the ship does manage to get out, it’s not in one piece

I initially couldn’t decide if The Trial should come Before ETF or After but I think im gonna say before so the Massive doesn’t have to come back lmao

Before too long, Zim jumps back into the planning/scheming swing of things, but his ideas are never more than petty crimes and being a huge annoyance

Dib gets really annoyed with him and they have a big argument

Zim finally admits to knowing of his own Defectiveness

Dib reluctantly feels bad for him and backs off a bit to let Zim have his space

Zim, however, sees this as a betrayal and redoubles his efforts to get his attention

Somewhere along the way, Skoodge comes back and Zim backs off of Dib a bit, having someone else to focus attention on

Dib eventually begins to offer Zim his hand in friendship (phrased as a truce at first) and they finally make steps towards getting along

They realize they actually really like being friends

Zim eventually realizes that he’s made a life for himself, outside of the Empire

Eventually Zim, Skoodge, GIR, Minimoose, Dib, and Gaz form their own little family and explore space and hunt cryptids

(I love cryptid hunter and space exploration aus holy shit)

Day 4. If IZ had a different setting/time period

Cyberpunk??? Sure

Potential idea maybe.

Cyberpunk dystopian future

Aliens and humans intermingle, both on and off Earth

The Irken Empire has gotten bigger

Technology is advanced and cybernetics are widely known/produced

Idk man I don’t know a lot about cyberpunk, maybe this should be more for the aesthetic

Day 5. Aesthetic

Big shrug man idk

Headcanons, thoughts.

I’m a big fan of fashion Zim, and whenever I get the chance I give him clothes that are both cute and comfortable

Galaxy print leggings are a personal favorite of mine to give him

One time I wrote a little ficlet/oneshot where he wore a skirt. I should publish that some day

Uhhhhhh okay so. Dib has veeeeeery big early 2000s emo/punk vibes tbh

Scene kid GIR always makes me laugh

Gaz could pull off pastel goth like no one’s business

I’ve been here long enough to witness emo/scene hair wig Zim and his eventual fall lmfao

Pretty much everyone that redesigned them back in the day gave Zim emo kid hair that fall perfectly over one eye it was WILD

 Day 6. What if IZ was a different Genre?

Uhhhh does “fantasy instead of scifi” count?

Potential idea maybe. (oops it ended up being a fantasy/modern magic au haha ooooops)

Instead of being an alien, I had the idea of, maybeeeeee Irkens are like. Elves maybe, or perhaps some kind of fae. (I don’t know much about fae, oops)

Okay bear with me here, this is all coming together in real time.

The Irkens (which is what I’m gonna call their clan or faction or subrace or whatever) still want to be the rulers or something over the humans/other mystical beings. This world of magic is hidden from humans and they live blissfully unaware. There are invaders all over the place, using magic and glamors to trick humans into thinking they’re also humans. Zim is one such invader and just to happens to end up in Dib’s town, whereupon he enrolls in Dib’s school, pretending to be a transfer student.

I have no idea why or how the Irkens invade or what methods they use, but since my biggest experience with elves is through DND, I’m going to say they’re functionally similar to certain DND elf races.

So anyway, Zim ends up in Dib’s class and Zim’s glamor just Doesn’t Work on Dib for whatever reason (maybe Dib passed his Wisdom saving throw while literally everyone else failed, idk) and so Dib can immediately see Zim for what he is.

Dib is still into paranormal type stuff, though in his world, he’s less about cryptids and aliens and more about the magical species/world(s) that he KNOWS exists. His big goal in his au is similar to canon in that he wants to expose it all for recognition and love from his father.

Zim, meanwhile, he just wants to prove himself, just like canon. I can’t decide how I want the Irken hierarchy to go in this au—that’s something to think about later, when I have more time—but whatever it is, Zim is either a) not very good at it, b) not suited for it, c) ridiculed for not fitting in to it, or d) a combination of any or all of these things. (or secret option e) he rejects it but has no where else to go. On the other hand, it maybe be none of these things.)

GIR is here too though he’s probably not a robot. Maybe he’s another kind of magical being, or, hell, maybe he’s just Zim’s little brother. I’d be okay with that.

Gaz can also see through glamors but she just doesn’t care. Tak shows up at some point to get revenge, and Skoodge also shows up at some point to stay with Zim and be his friend.

Zim is bad at blending in at first, but he eventually Does get better, since he’s not totally isolated from other Irkens here and he also doesn’t Look like an alien.

(I’m thinkin’ elves in this au look Mostly human but with a few differences. Since I’m biased and this is MY fantasy world, damnit, elves are just. Really Pretty. Ethereal and elegant and graceful (for the most part—there are always exceptions) and they’re also great at magic. Maybe Zim isn’t all that great at magic, I dunno. I’ll figure something out.)

This ended up being less of a genre change and more of a whole ass au, lol oops

Day 7. Role swap

Chanting: human zim au human zim au human zim au human zi

Drabble. This is for an ongoing species swap au that i’ve had in development for the last few years. i haven’t posted anything for it yet, but I’ve thought about it a lot

Dib freezes as Zim points the plastic water gun at his head. Zim’s eyes are narrowed, lips pursed, and he adjusts his grip almost nervously. Behind him, Gir is holding a bucket full of water balloons and a pair of neon green star shaped sunglasses. It’d be cute if Dib wasn’t aware of how painful Earth water is to his Irken skin.

Zim finally lowers his gun slightly. “I want some answers, alien.” He looks Dib over with critical eyes. “Who are you really, and why are you here?” He reaches back and Gir hands him a water balloon with a big smile. “And you better tell the truth or I’ll bust this over your big head.”

Dib grimaces and watches the balloon. “My name Dib, and I’m a scientist. I’m an Irken, from Irk, and I’m here to learn more about life on this planet.” He holds his hands up, hoping to placate the human gesture for surrender. “I’m not here to harm you or anyone else, promise.”

Zim huffs. “Yeah right. I bet you just came here to laugh at the locals.” He puts on a mocking voice and waves the gun and balloon as he speaks. “‘Stupid, stinking humans. They can’t even travel beyond their own moon, yet. What morons. I bet they descended from pigs with how horrible and stupid they are.’” He jams the gun against Dib’s chest. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

Dib bites his lower lip and looks away. He can’t deny he hasn’t thought something similar since arriving on Earth, but Zim didn’t have to be so crude and blunt about it.

The two are at a standoff for almost a minute before Zim blows out a long sigh and steps back. He turns to put the balloon back in the bucket, gives Gir a pat on the head, and shoots Dib one last glare. “Stay away from me, Dib. I have enough problems to deal with without having to worry about whether or not it’s safe for my brother to go to school or if I need to watch my back while walking my dog.”

“I wouldn’t hurt you,” Dib says, a little put out.

Zim scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I’ve heard that one before. I know better than to believe it.” He turns and tries to smile at Gir but it comes out a little twisted and sad. “C’mon Gir. Let’s go home and get Minimoose and take him to that dog park you like so much.”

Gir gasps and lets out a cheer. “Can we go get ice cream afterwards?”

Zim gives a little laugh, smile turning a bit more genuine. “Yeah, sounds good.”

As they walk away Dib can’t help but wonder why he ever thought Zim was an Irken himself.

[nicostolemybones]

Amber Valentine

Tw: minor character deaths (referenced), mentions of homophobia, ambiguous rejection (purposely left unanswered so the reader can choose which they want it to be)

Nico woke up. Nico didn't like that. He tried to sleep again but no, sleep was impossible, because today was a bad day and his brain hated him. He wanted compensation from life for waking him up today, on Valentine's day of all days.

He huffed, dreading the day more and more as the heavy weightlessness of sleep left his bones to be replaced with a dull ache. He didn't have the strength to get out of bed yet, and to be quite honest, he didn't really want to. 

So he opted to angrily stare at the ceiling like it personally offended him. The one time he wakes up before breakfast, and it's on the one day he wishes some kid would whack him round the head and put him in a coma for the day. He bet Will was already out on his morning run. He'd wake at the ass crack of dawn like a heathen and exercise like a heathen and glow like it didn't fucking give everyone a headache like a heathen.

But he was cute, so Nico forgave him.

Cute didn't really describe it. Will was a beautiful. Nico wondered what it would be like to wake up in the morning to the sight of Will sleeping beside him. He could imagine it- Will laying on his stomach with his head on his arms, golden blond hair fanning out onto the pillow, his skin glowing softly in the morning light. Nico wondered if Will had freckles on his back too, and if Will would let him paint them, like angel wings and constellations.

Stupid cute boy making him have emotions this early in the goddamn morning on the worst day of his life. Should be illegal. Nico forced himself out of bed and prepared for the day before opening the door- and the offending boy was stood nervously on his doorstep, freckles glowing a light yellow whilst his skin glowed soft amber. He had such a pretty smile and pretty eyes and Nico absolutely despised him for being so cute and making him blush in public by being so goddamn cute. 

"What do you want Solace? You see the sky? You see that giant orb of radiation and death? Yeah? Well that means it's way too fucking early to be awake."

"Nice to see our resident vampire is already in full brooding mode! That must mean you're awake enough for a hug!" Will beamed, and gods Nico couldn't breathe because… holy shit. His smile was so beautiful and he was glowing sunrise yellow and he had dimples okay and his nose was scrunched and Nico forgot how to breathe. He was so pretty.

"Don't you dare, Solace!"

"But hugs," Will pouted, his glow slowly turning sunset yellow as Nico tried to resist. Nico couldn't resist because his boyfriend looked like a kicked puppy and he gave good hugs. 

"Okay, fine, hugs," Nico relented with a sigh. Will's glow was back in full force, sunrise yellow with a warm amber undertone, and he was practically throwing himself at Nico, wrapping him up in a warm hug. Fuck, Nico was gonna die like this and go to Elysium, he couldn't function because the cute bastard was hugging him and he was warm and he smelled gorgeous, like lemons and antiseptic and cinnamon and sandalwood and sunshine and sweat and boy. Then Nico realised he hadn't been hugging back- he could tell by the way the heat from Will's glow changed slightly, nervous heat, that he was shifting back into a sunset hue, and that kickstarted Nico's brain to hug back, and Will's warmth grew comforting again. 

Nico didn't want Will to ever let go.

If he was honest, he was kinda touch starved. He may have been touch averse, but that didn't mean he didn't need affection from time to time, and Will's hugs made him feel safe and sentimental and fuzzy. And Will was taller than him so his face was met with a wall of muscle and fuck Nico could die because that was his man and he was a fucking snack. Between feeling sentimental and flustered, Nico felt overwhelmed- the touch starved side of him wanted to cry and the teenage side of him practically wanted to consume Will and the conflicting emotions were too much for him to process at once. 

He reluctantly let go, noticing Will's hesitation in the way his arms twitched as he let go, like his body didn't want to let go and Will had to fight it. Nico wanted to hug him again, but he knew if he hugged Will again he'd grow deeply uncomfortable and want to rip his flesh off. Sometimes physical contact was like that feeling when a bug flies into your face and you can still feel it twenty minutes after it's flew away. But ten times more intense and distressing to the point it made Nico want to scream and cry and rip his face off, but apparently, that isn't what physical contact felt like and Nico was being over dramatic so naturally everybody would pull him into hugs or headlocks and Nico would freeze or bolt. Except for Will. Will may have been very huggy, but he never tried to force Nico into physical contact. He didn't question it if Nico pushed him away sometimes and he didn't take it personally. 

"So uh…" Will began, his freckles a nervous pale amber, which Nico knew meant he was anxious. He didn't finish his sentence, picking at the bandage around his hand instead. 

"It's Valentine's day," Nico said quietly, and Will nodded awkwardly. 

"Yeah…"

"I already told you, I won't celebrate it."

"I know," Will said quickly, and the amber of his freckles was almost a dark chocolate gold, "I wanted to talk. Can we- can we go somewhere?" He looked just about ready to cry, and Nico's concern was able to quickly override his aversion to being seen. 

"You look terrified," Nico noted, and Will nodded, not moving. Nico started to walk, and Will followed him. Nico could feel the heat radiating off him, so Nico walked him to a far spot through the forest- walking helped anxiety by tricking your brain into thinking you were running away- fight or flight. And for a short while, Will seemed less anxious, but the closer they got to their favourite talking spot, the darker Will's glow got until he was a dark sunset orange. Sunrise colours were good- sunset ones were worrying. "Will?"

"I really wanna tell you something but I never talk about it and I'm scared to talk about it because I like running away from my feelings and I need to talk about it and I trust you the most to understand how I feel so can we talk about it?"

"Of course," Nico said gently, guiding Will to sit down. He looked on the verge of tears.

"I hate Valentine's day," Will said quietly, "I hate it so much."

"Glad we're on the same page," Nico said quietly, and he knew that Will would catch his meaning: I'll understand, you can tell me anything.

"You already know I'm from Austin, right? Well I come from a super nice area, y'know? My school had a gsa and the local church I went to as a kid was super accepting and had rainbow flags and funded a shelter for lgbt youths. My grandma was a lesbian and her wife made me my very first punk jacket when I was six. So uh… I grew up in a super nice place. So I knew quite young that I weren't straight, you know? I hadn't really had crushes yet but I remember we all used to play kiss chase at recess and I always wanted to kiss the girls and the boys. So I knew I wasn't straight. And I came out to my mom on Valentine's day because young me was making Valentine's day cards for all the boys in my class. Except for John. He was a cunt. I didn't like John. But anyways um- I ran downstairs and I yelled at the top of my lungs 'mama I'm gay!' And she looked really awkward and just replied 'that's nice, honey,' and I thought maybe she thought I was joking so I was like- 'no mama, I wanna kiss all the boys and all the girls,'- I didn't know what bi was, by the way- and she just gave me this really awkward look and said we'd talk about it later, and then she went to hang the washing. I didn't know if she was awkward because she didn't accept me or just the way I came out, and I still don't know and-..."

"Will?" He was crying by now, a sunset red undertone to his sunset amber glow, pushing the ball of his palms into his eyes to try and stop the tears.

"I never got to ask if she was okay with me being gay because a few minutes later I heard scary noises so I hid under the kitchen table and the scary noises sounded like a really big lion and I heard mama scream so I went out and I screamed because she was dead and bleeding and eaten and then it tried to eat me too but a goat man grabbed me and ran and took me to camp, and that's why I'm an all year round camper…"

"Will…" Nico began gently, before reaching out and holding him in a strong hug. "I wish I could tell you if your mom accepted you or not… and I wish I could make all your pain go away…"

"I always thought mama got killed because of me. Because if I didn't say I was gay she wouldn't have gone outside. So I didn't wanna tell anyone I liked boys ever in case they died, and I spent all these years so sure that she rejected me that day because she looked uncomfortable and sad and I felt like nobody loved me if my mama didn't love me and Valentine's day reminds me of all that and… it hurts… rejection hurts..."

"How long have you been holding all that in for," Nico asked softly, rubbing comforting circles on his back and gently carding his fingers through his hair. Will's hair was dry and floofy but it never seemed to knot. 

"Since forever," Will sniffled, "and I felt bad because I could never celebrate Valentine's day without being real sad and thinking about rejection."

"Please don't feel bad," Nico said softly, "it's okay. We never have to celebrate it, it reminds you of your trauma."

"I didn't think anyone would understand…"

"My mom died too," Nico said quietly, pulling away from Will so he wouldn't overwhelm himself too much. "I watched her die too. But it wasn't a monster, it was Zeus."

"I- I didn't know, I'm so sorry," Will whispered, and Nico shook his head.

"I lost a sister about two days before Christmas. Bianca. Which is why I got upset when you wanted me to wear the Christmas jumper. But- my point is I understand how it can ruin a holiday, and I want you to know that I understand, and you're not alone because I relate."

"I'm sorry," Will said quietly, "I'm really sorry." Will moved to hug Nico, but Nico gently pushed him away. As usual, Will didn't protest or try again.

"I hate Valentine's day because I was outed," Nico began after a deep breath. Will's glow was sunset orange and yellow with concern. "I was outed by Eros to Jason. I had a crush on Percy in the past, and Eros made me tell him. Jason, I mean. He shot me with an arrow and everything. I wasn't ready to come out- I hadn't accepted myself yet. I wasn't comfortable. When I was a kid being gay would have got me killed. And after Eros made me come out it felt like suddenly everyone knew. And I even accidentally outed myself to an entire Roman Legion thingy. Then when you made me come to the infirmary I felt obliged to tell Percy. All my life I'd seen myself as creepy, and everyone else thought I was creepy, so I felt like I had to tell him. Like he had a right to know. I still wasn't okay with myself and I didn't want anybody to know, and I still struggle sometimes with internalised homophobia. Or at least a fear of being outed or being seen or being attacked. I can't handle hearing slurs or judging looks or bigoted preachers without breaking down in tears because I didn't ask for this and it feels like I'm constantly being punished when I didn't even do anything wrong. I'll just be minding my own business and some asshole tries to ruin it, because somehow, people just know."

"I understand that," Will said softly, but Nico felt scared- Will had an angry sunset red undertone to a near white yellow sunset glow. He thought Will was mad at him for being a coward. "I'm gonna smash every last Cupid statue and heart card I see dotted around camp. You shouldn't have to have your triggers and your trauma shoved in your face any day."

"Will don't," Nico said softly, reaching for Will's hand, and a sunrise orange began to seep through the darker undertones, like he was trying to reassure Nico that it was alright. "They don't know, and I don't want to ruin their day. I was gonna stay in my cabin, but… I'm glad I'm out here with you. I feel safe here with you."

"I feel safe with you too," Will said softly, and his glow radiated a warm sunrise amber with yellow undertones- fondness, golden. 

"Maybe we should reclaim Valentine's day," Nico said quietly. "Make it ours. As a fuck you to all our trauma, y'know? Avoid all the traditions and just snog the fuck out of each other until we both turn blue then do whatever the fuck we want. We have each other now."

"So… celebrate Valentine's day to spite Valentine's day by making it our own? Not romantic, just spite?" Will seemed amused, a thin smile on his lips making one of his dimples prominent where the corner of his mouth turned upwards to form a lopsided smile. 

"I'm powered by spite and I'm tiny so yeah," Nico replied, bumping shoulders with Will. "Hey… maybe one day when you're ready for answers, I can summon your mom," he suggested gently.

"Maybe," Will replied softly, "I love you."

"Ti amo."

So they kissed, and they kissed until Will's glow was golden and bright and encompassing Nico in warm rays, and the shadows were dancing around Nico and holding Will close. They kissed until they felt fuzzy and hot, and they kissed until things would have got real awkward if they would have continued. When they pulled apart, Will's cheeks were a ruddy pink to the tips of his ears and blotchy, and Nico was sure he was puce. Fuck Cupid and fuck manticores too. Nothing could take this love away from them.

[hearteyesmarsh]

Take Me to Church

summary: Some part of Richie knows that no amount of prayer can change things, but at least he can try 

pairing: stozier 

warning: internalized homophobia, kinda angsty

word count: 2k

a/n: omg the way this fic dragged me through the mud with how many times i had to rewrite it is insane...but i hope you like it <3

Richie knew that it was wrong...he knew that these feelings were disgusting. No matter how many times his parents or friends told him that they weren’t. The voices in his head were louder than his friends and family could ever be.

This is why as soon as he realized he had feelings for his best friend, he ran home and prayed. He fell to his knees and prayed for God to take these sinful, nasty feelings away. He didn’t want to be a sinner, he didn’t want to go to Hell. So, he prayed all night long until his parents found him in the morning. 

He went to church every time there was a service. He stayed behind after every service to pray at the altar. He went to the priests and asked them to pray over him, help him become holy again, help cleanse his soul. He wanted more than anything to be clean again.

He avoided Stan with everything in him; he stopped sitting with the losers at lunch, stopped hanging with them after school, he even took a different, longer route to his classes to avoid bumping into him. He thought that maybe if he didn’t talk to him he couldn’t keep the feelings. That's how it works, right?

Stan had never been so confused in his life. Why was his best friend, the boy he had known since he was five, avoiding him like his life depended on it?

Well in Richie’s eyes, his life did depend on it. He was too scared to spend an eternity in Hell, that place was for dirty sinners and he was not a sinner. 

Stan’s worry and curiosity got the better of him. He knew that it probably wasn't the smartest idea but he had to make sure Richie was okay. 

So that day after school, he went to the Tozier residence and knocked exactly three times on the door. He counted exactly 33 seconds and held his hand up to knock again but Maggie Tozier opened the door, worry evident on her face.

“Hey, Stanley…” She smiles, her eyes softening when she sees Stan. “Are you here to see Richie?”

Stan nods, his heart in his throat “Yes ma'am… I just want to make sure he’s okay.” His voice is wavy and unsure and as soon as he hears it he wants to say forget it and go back home.

Maggie pauses, pursing her lips to the side. “I’m sorry, Stan, but you just missed him. He came in the house for a split second to put his backpack down then he left.” She already knew where her son went, the same place he had been going after school for the past two months. She considered telling Stan where he went but hesitated, wondering if it would only make Richie feel worse.

She knew all about her son's internalized homophobia. She heard him as he prayed all night, she noticed how quickly he would change the subject if she or Wentworth brought up his group of friends. She especially noticed how he flinched something terrible if he saw a gay couple holding hands as they walked down the street, it didn’t take her long to figure out what was going on in. Sometimes she wished she could just flick the side of his head and send the thoughts flying out of the other. 

Stan frowns. “Oh okay, thank you, Mrs. Tozier,” he does a sharp turn on his heel after Maggie gives him a soft hum and shuts the door.  “Where in the world is Richie Tozier?’ is the question Stan wants to ask, but he has a feeling he already knows the answer. 

One short bike ride later and Stan is standing in front of what he’s sure is the oldest building in Derry, Saint Peter Catholic Church. He sets his bike on its kickstand and slowly walks to the large, red doors. A small part of him is hoping that his feeling is wrong and he’s not gonna see Richie at the altar. He peeks his head through the door and scans the awfully large sanctuary. His grip on the door tightens when he sees a familiar set of unruly curls. He steps inside completely and he can’t help but to shut and open the door two more times, cringing at the loud creaking noise. He takes a deep breath and slowly walks down the aisle until he’s standing beside the crouched boy.

He debates if he should sit on the ground, only the lord knows the last time it was cleaned, but decides his friend is more important than getting his khaki shorts dirty. Stan falls to his knees and turns his head to look at Richie. He just sits for a couple of minutes, listening to the mumbled words fall from Richie’s mouth. His throat is dry and his heart is aching as he ponders if he should say anything. He swallows hard and looks straight ahead, eyes glancing over the stained glass portraits of the Catholic saints. “Richie?” He questions, his voice shaking.  

Richie’s heart drops in his chest when he hears the voice, but he should’ve known who it was. Who else would open and close the door three times? He doesn’t look at Stan, he can’t or he’ll be hooked all over again.

Stan sighs. “Richie, I want to help you. I can't help you if you don’t help me though. Can you tell me what's wrong?” He knew what was wrong, he knew what was wrong as soon as he walked into the room and saw Richie praying. 

He had been in that situation before. He remembers how he would read his Torah ten times a month. He remembers asking YHWH to forgive him for his transgressions.  He remembers feeling disgusting and those days when he couldn’t even look in the mirror. Eventually, he came to terms with himself. He knew that he wasn’t disgusting and he wasn't abnormal. He was Stan a gay, Jewish boy, and that was perfectly fine.

When Richie still hasn’t answered, Stan decides to fill the silence. “I’ve been in your shoes, Rich, it’s nothing wrong with being gay. You are not disgusting and you are not going to Hell.” 

Richie knows that Stan is right, but a part of him can’t believe him. He had been taught his whole life that homosexuality was a sin, why would that change now? 

“I get it, Rich, I really do,” Stan whispers, now turning to face Richie completely. He carefully takes Richie’s clasped hands and pulls them towards his chest. “It’s hard accepting yourself after being told your whole life that you’re a sin after you’ve only heard one thing you’re whole life and that ‘gay people are going to Hell.’ But that's not true, its nothing...absolutely nothing wrong with being gay.” Stan sees how Richie's body is slowly relaxing, so he continues. “The people in this town are close minded and ignorant if anything they’re in the wrong. You’re an incredibly sweet, caring person. You’re not going to hell because you like boys and you may not believe me, but it's true.”

Stan’s speech seems to work because it gets Richie to finally look at Stan, finally look at the boy he was slowly falling in love with. As soon as Richie’s eyes meet Stan’s he feels the world fall apart around him and he finds himself crying-no sobbing. “I don’t want to be dirty anymore, Stan. I'm not a sinner! I’m not!” 

Stan instantly pulls him into his arms, running his fingers through his hair. “I know you’re not Richie, I know you’re not. You’re gonna be okay, maybe not today, but you’ll be okay.” Stan whispers, and he knows that’s all he can do right now. 

Stan doesn’t know how long they’ve been sitting here but he knows his legs have fallen asleep and his wrist is cramping up from constantly running his hand up and down Richie’s back. He tries his best to comfort the older boy, but he knows that it probably isn’t doing any good. Stan is terrified that someone is going to walk in on them, he knows that the reaction to one boy crying in the arms of another isn’t pretty. “Richie,” Stan sighs, gently pushing Richie’s face back so they’re eye to eye. “Please talk to me, I’m not here to judge you. I just want to help,” he uses the pad of his thumbs to wipe Richie’s wet cheeks. 

Richie hiccups and it takes everything in him not to push Stan away, run away, and never look back. He knows that he won’t get anything out of it except more pain. “Help me, Stan, please. I just wanna be okay again,” Richie pleads, his heart is racing and he has an impossibly tight grip on Stan’s wrists. “Why do I feel these things, how do I know if I’m…..” Richie trails off, and Stan can hear him gulp. “Gay,” the word feels like acid in his mouth. “You felt like this too, right? How did you get over it? How did you get them to stop?  ”

Stan shakes his head. He had told Richie that maybe he liked this boy in their history class, but quickly retracted the statement and started dating Patty Blum in their algebra class to prove that he didn’t like boys. “I- the feelings never went away Richie, they’ll never go away. They only get stronger.” He watches Richie’s face pale. “It’s not a bad thing, you get used to it eventually. It just takes some time...and support.” He remembers crying to his mom as she comforted him, reminding him that she will always love him no matter what. 

“How did you know Stan? Who was it?” Richie starts shaking again, his mind and heart racing as if they were trying to win a race. How should he be handling this situation? Should he let his emotions lead him or should he try to stay logical and do what he was taught is right? He stares Stan in his face and when he sees the tears building behind his eyes, he’s instantly taken aback. The most put together, stoic person he knows was sitting in front of him about to cry, and that scared him more than any feeling could. 

“It was um-” Stan stops, how smart would it be to tell Richie that he was the reason Stan knew he liked boys? He racks his brain for an answer, an excuse to give Richie that would satisfy the both of them. “It was Mike, Mike is how I knew.” A couple of seconds pass and Stan gets nervous, did Richie not accept his answer? Or maybe it was a trick question and Richie already knew it was him. 

Richie instantly knows that it's a lie, Stan is too sure of himself to stutter in any situation. “Stan, please don’t lie to me. I need to know.” Richie’s eyes are wide and pleading. A part of him feels like he knows the answer already and a part of him is praying that he’s wrong because then it becomes real and Richie isn’t sure he can handle that right now. 

Stan looks everywhere but Richie’s face, specifically upwards hoping that the tears will fall back into his eyes. His breathing picks up and he swallows hard. “It was you Richie, it was always you,” Stan whispers, finally looking Richie in his eyes. He can feel the tears running down his face and he starts to wonder why Richie couldn’t just leave it alone.

“Are you sure?” Richie responds, his throat tight and he can feel the tears start back up again. 

Stan nods, unsure how it would help Richie in any way, shape, or form. He isn’t left wondering for long because Richie smashes his lips against his. It's a messy, teeth clattering kiss but Stan wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Richie lets go on Stan’s wrist and moves his hands to Stan’s soft, curly hair, pulling him impossibly closer. How ironic of Richie to be kissing the boy in the church where he was just praying for God to get this boy out of his head. He knows how complicated things are gonna be when they pull apart, but in the moment he thinks that there can’t be anything wrong with something that feels so right.

[maniaac]

( @oldtvwnrvad​ )

as of late; it seemed kaiden just kept burying himself deeper and deeper in his self destruction. every day was a brand new day for chaos; he had names to cross off; a body count to add up. he was a killing machine running on pure exhaust fumes, but he couldn't stop.. he refused, it's all he had ever known, kill KILL.. -k i l l, it was a never ending vicious cycle; one he grew into quite well, he wore it like a crown of thorns digging into his skull. he was god himself; controlling death- when you died and how.. it was a sick and twisted game of- who's next and what's a new trick he had buried up his sleeve? he tried most of his torture methods out, it was becoming a well crossed off list.. and he was having to get more creative- and as of recently his insomnia had been running on dry and his head was in a spin cycle.. he could barely think or deliver a sentence without a yawn or slur- his under eye bags were dark and narly.. but? he had a schedule, he had a number to add up and keep adding to, his brother was looking up from the fiery flames of hell rooting for him alongside satan of course. that image alone caused a grin on his features- his tall ghastly brother being satan's bitch.. now that was a sight he was excited to see, he was thinking up taunts to use and how he'd get right under his skin.. oh it was a fun game the brothers played- but not to get off his thought process.. he met a girl along the way, a girl.. funny isn't it? she had the reddest hair and the most interesting voice- he couldn't make out the accent- was it spanish? no.. italian? not even close..had to be of been french, either way she was so naive it rung him speechless maybe due to his innocence being torn from him at such a young age he hardly new a life with it. he walked around with a rotten brain and a demon sitting right on his shoulder, so he was almost intrigued with how that innocence felt.. did it feel good, did it make you feel holy?? -he was never one for religion but man he wondered.. -focus kaiden focus., god he was spacing out; running on 4 days without sleep wasn't the way to go, he felt everything in his body working.. his veins pumping his blood; his bones shifting with each movement, his muscles.. god he was driving himself crazy. maybe not the best mindset to be in with a body at your hands; he had shifted into a stranger he encountered- some white man with a jesus sign in hand-preaching about gays going to hell, about how kissing men was wrong-some shit like that.. whatever his deal was, kaiden ripped his soul right from him and took his shape; off to the next victim he was.. he could feel the arteries of this dude- they were clogged and rusty like an old drain pipe.. god, wasn't gluttony a sin too? funny how it only applied for when they found it useful. -back to where he was now; he was some fat slop probably named carl or gary.. and he was using his knife against some random woman- long story short he wandered into some strange alley way- and this lady was probably some prostitute.. not that he was judging; to each their own..it's not like his kills meant anything to him anyways it was all a fun game- a sport if you will.. he kind of dug her bedazzled short shorts and tanktop.. it was a look if anything, though he didn't expect her to have a shank of her own.. she stabbed at him; getting him pretty good at his jawline- he felt the warm blood trickling down his alabastair skin; impressive.. but he was stronger- he took the knife and turned it around on her; stabbing her right up the neck.. and there she fell gurgling on her own spit and blood.. what a lovely way to go- and when he turned around he was welcomed by that girl he spoke about.. vivianne.. red hair- and green eyes, and that unknown accent. "oh, it's you again." he grumbled, turning back into his original form leaving good ol' jim bob- or gary.. or even carl behind; "you following me now? i'm not sure you wanna be associated with me, i'm kind of a wanted man- not even kind of, I am. so if they see you, you're a witness or some shit like that- i don't really know the law or nor do i care." he scoffed, wiping away at the blood on his cheek. "if you wanna chat, we should get away from the dead body, cops have nothing better to do so trust me, murder is a fast one of their radar." he insisted. beginning to walk to a secluded area, "you coming?" he asked looking back at her.

[angstalottle]

The Next Generation

Part 2:

To say everyone was shocked would be the understatement of the century. They stared at Lance who was curling up in a defensive position under their gaze, he was clearly uncomfortable and judging from how thin he was in no position to fight back if anyone were to try anything. Hunk seemed to snap out of it first as he slowly kneeled down in front of Lance, raising his hands to show he meant no harm. “Ok, ok, it's a little hard for us to believe that your Thor's son but we still want to help you. My names Hunk.” Shiro let out a silent sigh of relief. He honestly had no idea what to do, for all they knew this was just a traumatised teenager claiming he was related to a superhero as a way to handle the ordeal he has clearly been through… but if it was true then God knows what they supposed to do then. Most of the team had grown up around Thor. He was the giant lovable uncle that gave you piggyback rides and snuck you desert when you were grounded. The thought of him having a missing child and not stopping everything to try and find him was just out of character for him, especially when they saw how he acted towards his daughter. She was the world to him and would have stopped at nothing to keep her safe… that was true for all of the Avengers and their children. If Lance was Thor's son then there was an even greater mystery to be solved beyond his identity. “You can't be very comfortable down there.” Hunk smiled softly offering out his hand “how about we get you out of here and sort this whole mess out?” Lance looked at Hunks hands like he was searching for a trick. Then slowly, painfully slowly he took the offered hand and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. He was steady for less than a second before he began to fall again. Everyone moved to grab him But once again Keith got there first and caught him in a half dip with one hand rested on his lower back. “Thanks…” Lance mumbled not making eye contact, then again neither was Keith who had turned an interesting shade of red as he held Lance. “D-don't mention it.” “Achem” The two looked over to the source of the noise to see Pidge standing there with her hands on her hips “ I hate to break whatever the hell this is up, but we’re still in enemy territory with a civilian in need of medical attention. So how about you leave your flirting till we get back on the jet, huh Keith?” It seemed impossible a moment ago for Keith to blush any darker, but now he was a deep red opening and closing his mouth like a surprised fish. Hunk chuckled while Shiro tried to hide his own amusement behind his hand, but an amused grin was still visible none the less. “S-shut up! I'm just trying to help” Keith squeaked. “Yeah, we know buddy” Hunk replied in a teasing tone as he easily scooped lance up into his arms. Considering his earlier panic it was surprising to see how he relaxed into Hunks arms, his head rested against his shoulder letting out a long tired sigh. “Don't worry. We’ll get you home.” Hunk whispered earning him a small nod as Lance’s eyes slid shut and he fell asleep.

They all walked in silence after that. Too many thoughts and questions to even begin to discuss, after all, where could they start? It wasn't until Lance was lying in the medical cot of the jet did anyone break the silence. “We should call ahead… see if anyone can get ahold of Thor I'm sure he could… answer some of our questions.” Shiro was choosing his words carefully. The last thing they needed was for Lance to hear the wrong thing and start panicking again, just because it seemed like he trusted them didn't mean they should take that as a fact. Right now he was like an unknown animal, he could be friendly and gentle for all they knew, but the same could be said for if he would pose a threat to them. As the leader, Shiro had to keep his team safe no matter what, even if that did mean potentially putting their mission in danger. “I’ll call dad, he keeps tabs on all the Avengers when they're not on the compound.” Pidge shrugged as she set up the autopilot and began the call. “Wait, for all the Avengers? Even mom?” Keith asked raising his eyebrow. “How the hell is he managing that?” Pidge smirked up at him “We Starks have out ways.” “That we do kid” Tony replied as his holoform took up the windshield “what do I owe the honour, it's rare for you to call unless someone's on death's door and considering everyone's standing in gonna assume you just missed your dear old dad.” Pidge stuck out her tongue “you wish old man. I actually called because erm Shiro has something to tell you.” Shiro shot her a glare. Sure he may be the leader but it didn't mean he always wanted to be the one to drop the news bombs. Last time he did that he had to tell his dad that Hydra was still out there… it wasn't a pleasant experience. “Shiro?” Tony asked raising an eyebrow his demeanour suddenly serious. Everyone knew that when Shiro had something to say no matter who you are you should listen. Shiro licked his lips, his throat suddenly dry “did… did Thor ever mention to you having a son?” Confusion flickered across Tony’s face “no I don't think so. What's this about?” We found a kid, about 17 I think, in a cryo-pod.” Shiro pretended not to see the way Tony flinched “he's not a soldier but he did claim to be Thor's son.” Tony nodded slowly “right… well, I’ll contact Thor you kids just get back here as soon as possible. I don't know who you have with you but something tells me Thor isn't going to keep quiet about a missing kid.” Shiro nodded “right, see you soon.” With that, the transmission was shut off. No witty comment or sarcastic joke, not this time. This situation was just too far beyond funny for any of that. “ETA twenty minutes,” Pidge said softly as she turned her attention back to the console mindlessly fiddle and keep her hands busy. “Someone should probably check on Lance” Hunk muttered as he chewed on his lip nervously. Shiro was about to ask Hunk to do it since he had a way with people when Keith up and left. No word from him, he just got up and went into the medical area. “Wow, he has it bad” Pidge snorted. “I feel like we should warn Lance that Keith doesn't do normal human emotions” Hunk sniggered. “Nah, I wanna see how this plays out. It going to be hilarious no matter what.”

Keith paced nervously in front of Lance’s bed for a good ten minutes. The other boy was still asleep so there really wasn't any reason to be hovering like the way he was but… well dammit, he was pretty and Keith didn't really know what to do with all the gay thoughts that filled his head. It sure didn't help that Lance was only wearing tight pants and a low cut shirt letting Keith’s eyes train down his neck almost to his stomach. Of course, he would catch himself now and again and shake his head and whispering “don't be a creep” but it seemed like his eyes didn't want to obey and just stared at the peaceful face of the beautiful boy. Not even the excessive scars could pull his attention away for too long. They really were awful and it made bile rise in Keith’s throat to think what could have caused them… or more likely who and why. Lance mumbled in his sleep and turning his face away from Keith, almost like he knew he was being watched and made an unconscious decision to put a stop to it. Keith caught sight of another scar, this one at the back of his neck that appeared to almost be a brand mark. It looked like a weird dog head holding a ring in his mouth. Compared to the other scars it looked old. Really old. Like Lance must have been a child when it was done to him old. Keith gently brushed a finger across the mark before he could stop himself. “We’re here,” Shiro said as he pulled back the curtain that separates the two of them from everyone else. Keith froze staring around to room “Not. One. Word.” He hissed as he stepped away from Lance and allowed Shiro to set up the bed to be wheeled out. “Wouldn't dream of it.” he chuckled as he took the lead towards the exit. Unsurprisingly the Avengers were waiting for them, including Thor and his daughter Allura. “Thor I'm glad you're here we need you to tell us if you know Lance.” No sooner had the words left his mouth did Allura run forwards towards the bed. She pulled Lance roughly into the air and held him by the throat. “Allura! What are you doing?!” Shiro yelled taking a step forwards only for Steve to hold up a hand to stop him. “Tell them what you told us, Thor.” “That boy is not what he seems, he is a lier and a shapeshifter just like his father.” Thor normally seems so kind-hearted but right now there was nothing but cold pain in his eyes. “F-father please” Lance gasped out clawing at Allura’s hand “Sister, I swear I'm not the monster you think I am.” Allura didn't answer him instead she looked away to avoid his tear-filled gaze. “He was left on my doorstep as a babe, I cared for him as my son unknowing the true creature I brought into my home and family. When I discovered the truth I marked him as the monster he was and locked him away.” Keith’s eyes darted to the brand on the back of Lance’s neck. Did Thor really do that? “What could he be that justifies treating a kid like this?!” Shiro yelled grabbing Steve’s arm and pushing it away. “The child before you is not human nor is he truly Asgardian. He is Fenrir the one is destined to bring about the end of all.” Thor answered coldly. “He is the son of Loki.”

[henrik-von-schneeplestein]

Hewwo. You mentioned liking certain albums and songs for the jse egos and ships, what about for the Sander's sides? 👀 Are there any songs you like for certain ships you like? ❣️

HFJDHGJG YEPPP! Not quite as many, just bc I’m new to the fandom but I definitely have thoughts! 

Before y’all who are annoyed with me ranting about Taylor jump ship:

-”Pioneer” by The Band Perry is SUCH a good Roman song omg just the softest song about the creative spirit & bravery

-”Lovefool” by the Cardigans is... Deceit’s karaoke song. I have no rationale or defense for this statement whatsoever it just came up on shuffle the other day and I for some reason could picture him singing it perfectly and now I can’t let it go. Roman’s karaoke song is probably like “Any Man of Mine” by Shania Twain. Idk what the other sides’ go-to karaoke songs are but PLEASE lmk what y’all think bc I wanna know 

Anyway Taylor time. People w/ bad taste in music you’re free to go now. Have a nice night and please don’t unfollow me

Roman is both the side I think would most be a fan on Taylor and also who has the most Taylor songs that remind me of him.

“White Horse” is definitely a Roman song. Like just change the gender (from ‘princess’ to ‘prince’) and it fits perfectly - a “dreamer” who has the beautiful, romantic fantasies they believe in challenged and emerges stronger but still believing in all those wonderful things... catch me crying

“Starlight” is the other song that has strong Roman vibes to me again bc of the ‘dream impossible dreams’ thing & another ref to a prince (and a ‘duchess’ ((duke)) but it def feels more roman than remus to me). Could definitely be a prinxiety song given the second verse: He said, “look at you, worrying too much about things you can’t change. You’ll spend your whole life singing the blues if you keep thinking that way.” He was trying to skip rocks on the ocean, saying to me, “don’t you see the starlight? Don’t you dream impossible things?”

Honestly the whole Red album has Roman vibes to me which makes sense assuming his color is red for the same reason she chose that title: bc it symbolizes passion. It really specifically reminds me of him in the ‘Moving On’ videos - him having a hard time letting go of a relationship but ultimately realizing it must be done strongly reminded me of “Red” (the song), “I Almost Do,” and “All Too Well”

LOVES “Wonderland” bc it’s gay uhhh Disney references no but he’d be all over that ‘too in love to think straight’ pun.... and the sheer DRAMA of writing your ex’s fucking TUMBLR URL into a song

“Love Story” and “Today Was a Fairytale” need I say more

Virgil is definitely AT LEAST a Speak Now stan - some of you are too young to remember it and some of you are still too salty to acknowledge it but from like 2008-2011 especially there was the Emo Swiftie phenomenon where a bunch of us very edgy emo kids who liked Panic! & MCR were also Taylor fans. Like she wasn’t considered emo at all but she had the same lyricism & theatricality, and the rampant slutshaming didn’t really start until 2012 so it wasn’t nearly as uncool to like her. So yeah Virgil’s been a secret passenger on the Taylor train for a while

He’s SUPER unwilling to admit it at first but as soon as Roman figures it out they bond & talk about their fav songs

emo boy is most definitely a “Haunted” stan

All I WANT is Virgil in the famous purple Speak Now tour dress and if I had a shred of artistic talent him in that dress under the glowing tree would be the first thing I drew

“Out of the Woods” is a Virgil song - Taylor literally said that the main feeling she was trying to capture is anxiety (x). I would also like to see Virgil in the OOTW music video. Give my baby some WOLVES.

“The Archer” is very literally about anxiety & imposter syndrome I don’t think I need to defend that being a Virgil song

“Afterglow” and “Delicate” belong on any ship playlist involving Virgil

Someone sing “Innocent” to this boy immediately

My favorite Virgil song actually isn’t “The Archer” even though that’s the most obvious - I think “Daylight” is the best one. He’s wounded the good & he’s trusted the wicked y’all!!! But it’s brighter now!!!! I love him!!!!!

With Deceit I see the obvious comparison to “Look What You Made Me Do” and it works pretty well but I think the best Deceit song is def “I Did Something Bad” - ‘for every lie I tell them they tell me three’ ‘this is how the world works; you gotta leave before you get left.’ Also my position just in general is that IDSB is the Distinguished Gay Villain Song & LWYMMD is the Disaster Gay Villain Song.

That said, the only reason Deceit’s never done the traditional Rise Into Frame is to keep me specifically from making a joke about Karyn rising out of the stage during LWYMMD (x) - it’s true my cousin’s best friend’s uncle was an extra in the Sanders Sides he played Roman’s sword

Deceit’s real name is Karyn I cracked it y’all

Also it makes me really excited that the LWYMMD tour outfit is kinda similar to Deceit’s. Something about having the initials TS just makes you go ‘snake time’ and put on a black cape/shirt/jacket thing with yellow/gold accents I guess

“End Game” is a Remus/Deceit song - ‘you like the bad ones, too’ = they’re both dark sides, “you’ve been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks so here’s the truth from my red lips” = Deceit

“New Romantics” is just like ‘let’s lie our way through society’ so

Remus really reminds me of the swift fandom itself and idk what else to say about that bc if you’ve never been in that fandom I don’t know how to explain it to you and if you’ve been in that fandom for even 5 minutes you don’t need me to explain it to you

ME! is such a Remus song!! ‘I know that I’m a handful, baby, UH! I know I never think before I jump’ & ‘I would never bore you baby;’ also ‘like a rainbow with all of the colors’ reminds me of Remus saying ‘if you want the spectrum A-Z then you’ll need a little help from ME!” AND the song tends to get stuck in your head (or it does for me anyway) - kind of Remus’s M.O.

We already know he likes “Shake It Off” lol

Those of y’all who are horny for Remus and I know you’re out there.... “False God” is the song for you

could also be Remus/Deceit - Remus does use Deceit as the serpent in the Garden of Eden after all

Patton is just all the soft love songs lbr. “Stay Stay Stay,” “Paper Rings,” “Our Song,”etc. Also “Never Grow Up” and “Fifteen” and bc he’s nostalgic but also a father w/ good advice.

OK before I do Logan songs I just gotta tell you I was listening to “Tim McGraw” recently and my mind went “he said the way my blue eyes shined put those Georgia stars to shame that night; I said ‘FALSEHOOD’” but anyway

“New Year’s Day” - the references to books/pages fits and also the sort of comforting vibe that Logan can have; it’s a more realistic view of love about how there’s no way to know for sure what’s going to happen but knowing that you’re in it even for the worst

“I Think He Knows” belongs on the playlist for any ship involving Logan

He’d love “Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince” but when she’s like ‘where are the wise men?’ he’d be like ‘I’m right here beech’

And with that, I think I need to be done for now lol. Thank you so much for asking & letting me dump all this here. I love you!!!!

[heretyc]

modern mother Val au [headcanons]

we all need a loving mama Val ♥ modern au because being a mother that runs a cult and shit is hard!!! let’s give her a break, shall we ♥ plus, there are mentions to her past. they’re not canon by any means; just ideas and fillers. 

- Val is mother goals.

- Seriously. She will attend all of your events. Take you everywhere. Show her appreciation and love towards you. A mother that everyone wants and deserves.

- When you were born/younger she spoiled the absolute shit out of you with attention, toys, little cute outfits, whatever your heart desired.

- She could’ve been pregnant or she adopted; whatever you want. Whatever you think is canon. Either way, you’re her little babe and she loves you no matter what. ♥

- She would not put you down for those first couple days of your life.

- If you fell and broke into tears, she’d stay calm and find your little red cheeks to be cute. [and pinchable.]

- She’d put a little, brightly coloured bandaid on the scrape and whisper that you’re fine.

- She needs to be calm so you’re calm. It’s no trouble to her.

- “I know it was scary, and it hurts, but look. You’re okay. My strong little [Name]. ♥”

- She pulls you against her chest- the soft cloth of her dress is nice on your cheek- and she holds you there until there are no tears left.

- Her family was incredibly Religious and had their beliefs pushed onto her constantly. She doesn’t want that for you. 

- You can believe in whatever you want. No judgement will come from her.

- She has to at least give you one hug or kiss a day.

- Halloween is scary for her. She doesn’t trust anybody in costume. 

- She also hates the idea of going to other people’s doors for candy.

- She thinks it’s the “free candy” van trick with extra steps.

- “Oh my god, [Name], is that your friend?! He’s dressed as a ghost. It’s too scary. You’re staying in.” “Mum, he’s wearing a bright pink sheet...” “I don’t care.”

- She buys a bunch of candy on sale the next day to apologize.

- As you grow, you go through a lot of phases and confusion. The emo phase. The anime phase. Whatever else.

- Val supports you through it all. You’re trying to find your true self and she won’t try and stop that.

- But she’d appreciate it if you liked different bands throughout your emo phase.

- “Blood on the Dance Floor? Why would there be blood...on the dancefloor?” She’d mumble to herself underneath your squealing. “There must have been pretty intense dancing for blood to appear...”

- Going out partying is a huge no-no for her. You could end up lost. Or kidnapped. Or something worse.

- She’d prefer you’d party at your own house. With her.

- But instead of loud music and alcohol, she’d crack puns.

- Good ol’ Val.

- She really wants the best for you. 

- At one point, you experience the “sexuality” confusion. You don’t know if you’re bi. Gay. Straight. It sucks and you feel as if you won’t fall in love at all.

- She totally understands and helps you in whatever way she can.

- Then, there’s the makeup phase. You see makeup tutorials on youtube and want to be just as good. You ask your mother to do your makeup and give you some tips.

- Val doesn’t believe in makeup; everyone has beauty within them, whether it’s on the inside or the outside. She doesn’t get it.

- But if it makes you happy...

- She does an awesome job. You feel so pleased and she feels proud.

- Your friends ask who did it. Let’s just say your mother now has a fanbase.

- We all know Val is an attractive woman, okayyyyyy?

- She’s bound to get asked out by men and women all the same. 

- But she rejects them. 

- She only has one person in her life that she wants to adore with all of her heart,

- and that’s you.

- Not only is she attractive, she is the Chief Deacon of your city/town. She gets excellent pay and can work from home if needed. 

- Everyone has insecurities. Even her sometimes. 

- Val does everything in her power to make sure you understand that you’re perfect.

- You may encounter bullies every now and then. But she tells you that they hurt you because they’re jealous, and they probably are dealing with something at home.

- Those bullies don’t last long though.

- Because Mama Val will pick you up at school, tell you she’ll meet you in the car and demand the principal for names once you’re out of the building.

- Grades aren’t really that important to her unless you’re outright failing.

- She won’t get angry at you or yell. Never. That’s not the right way of approaching things.

- She’ll sit you down and talk with you. Ask if anything is bothering you.

- Prom is a thing, and you’ve been asked to go by someone you’ve been interested in.

- Val nearly sheds a tear when she sees you in your prom attire; her pretty babe, looking like royalty, is the light of her life and she feels so blessed.

- The night of the prom is going smoothly. You left an hour ago to go meet your date, and Val gets some chores done. Laundry, sweeping the floors, the usual.

- Until she gets a tearful phone call from you.

- You thought you were stood up. Until your date was seen with the popular girl at school.

- Val is now angry as fuck and doesn’t get why someone would do that to another individual. 

- You ask her if she can pick you up from the front of the school. She’s already getting her boots on and grabbing the car keys.

- When she sees you, she sees swollen eyes and messy hair.

- She makes snacks and you both watch your favourite show until you fall asleep on the couch.

- Val takes note of your soft breathing and chuckles. You were so cute.

- She drapes a blanket over you and puts your head in her lap after grabbing a book and a hot drink.

- But when she’s done, she takes you up to your bed and goes into her own.

- Imagine her happy tears when you graduate.

- Her baby!!! Graduated!!!!!

- Vacation time!!

- She takes you to wherever you want. You worked your ass off and graduated. This is your present!

- Wanna visit the caribbean? She’s got sundresses all packed. 

- Planning on going to Finland? She has coats all packed. And more coats, and yeah you get my point. 

- She’s from the south. She doesn’t like the cold.

- But she’ll do anything for her babe!!

- The day you moved out killed her internally.

- She texted you. Every day.

- Wholesome pictures are sent to you every morning.

- “Make sure you stay hydrated.”

- She does not understand what memes are. Please help her, she’s suffering.

- Her friend sent her a meme and she doesn’t understand a damn thing lmfao.

- Overall, she’s a caring, lovely mama and would cross lava for you. ♥

- ...But she recently bought Cheetos and those are hers. Don’t ask for any.

- Trust me, I asked. I got nowhere. 

[fenfyre]

Single Parents

Day 5 of @erejeanweek2k19 -  Single Parents/Formal Wear

It was a beautiful day at the end of a beautiful week. Flowers had started sprouting everywhere, the trees started getting greener again and the sun was finally strong enough to feel warm on bare skin. So Jean opted to take Luke for ice cream after picking him up from soccer practise.

Usually his son was tired after a good hour of running around the court but the mention of his favourite treat was enough to have him jumping in joy, bouncing around Jean like an excited fawn as they made their way through the park to the closest ice cream stand.

"And then we did sprints and guess what, dad!", his son chattered, voice high with breathless excitement as he jumped up and down in front of Jean, looking up at him with the proudest grin. "Guess what!"

"What?", Jean smirked, amused by the way his son was obviously out of breath but wouldn't stop running and leaping in circles.

"No, you gotta guess!"

"Oh, alright uhm ... you just started when aliens came down from the sky and..."

"No!", Luke laughed loudly, shoving at him before grabbing his arm and hanging off it, bounding along with Jean's measured steps. "You're so silly, dad! I won! I was fastest!"

"What?", Jean called out feigning surprise at the news even though he knew Luke was one of the fastest boys in his team and often beat the others when it came to sprints. He was quick and agile even though his stamina wasn't too great yet. At least that was what coach Jodie told him after a game last week. But Jean didn't much care about these things as long as Luke enjoyed himself and got along well with the other boys in his team.

"Again? Noooo, you're joking!"

"I swear I'm not! I won, I ... puppy!"

Before Jean could stop him the eager boy was already running off with excited laughter, right towards a man and a young girl heading their way, the girl holding a leash with a young German shepherd who seemed just as excited as Luke to see them.

Jean was about to call Luke back and remind him of his manners when his son came to a skidding halt a few steps in front of the small group, waving at them but making no move to touch the happy puppy pulling at its leash to get to him.

"Hello, I'm Luke", he introduced himself to both the man and the girl. "Can I pet your dog?"

The girl paused, then looked up at the man holding her hand, probably her dad. After he nodded at her encouragingly she smiled at Luke, showing off a prominent gap where one of her teeth was missing.

"I'm Carla and this is Rosie ... you can pet her!"

Luke squealed happily, dancing from one foot to the other before carefully approaching the dog who was still pulling on the leash and starting to yip by now.

Part of Jean wanted to call out for Luke to not get himself too dirty when his son just dropped to his knees in front of the puppy and gave the happy dog jumping into his arms a big hug, but then he reigned himself back in.

Those were his soccer practise pants anyway, he got them dirty every week sliding and slipping and falling on the grass and besides he had talked about this to his mother. Kids had to be able to make themselves dirty and play in the mud and his own penchant for cleanliness shouldn't limit his son's fun when not absolutely necessary. He still wouldn't let Luke play like this in his good pants, though.

The picture of his son smiling and laughing as Rosie the puppy licked his face, tail wiggling violently from one side to the other, made it easy to tolerate dirty pants. He stepped closer to the small group, smiling widely at the way Carla and Luke pet the little dog. Then his eyes flicked over to the man standing off to the side watching the scene as well and he swallowed.

He was hot, to say the least. A little on the short side but stacked as all hell, arms bulging in the tight shirt he was wearing. His dark hair was wildly tousled, giving him some kind of rough look and his face was nothing but sharp angles, cutting cheekbones and a strong jaw and bright eyes that sparked with joy as he watched the kids.

Jean took a breath that trembled just a bit before taking another step forward and offering his hand for the man to shake.

"Hey, I'm Jean", he smiled politely, hoping his sudden gay crisis wasn't too obvious. "I'm Luke's dad."

His hand was accepted with a quick nod and a wide smile, warm fingers squeezing his in a firm grip that almost made his knees buckle. Wow, he really had to get his thirst under control. But it wasn't really his fault, he hadn't dated since...

"Eren", the man said and his voice was pleasant, deep and rich like dark chocolate. "Carla's mine. Rosie's hers."

Jean laughed, looking over at the kids who had moved over to a patch of grass and were trying to make the puppy retrieve a stick for them. She was far too young for these kinds of tricks, though, only looked at them and yipped, tail wagging and tongue hanging out.

"I'm sorry about that, Luke loves dogs. He's been begging me to get one ever since he could talk..."

Eren laughed and oh god that sound ... Jean licked his lips, tried not to blush and fumble as he adjusted the bag of Luke's soccer equipment over his shoulder.

"Sounds familiar. They're insistent little shits, aren't they?"

Jean's eyes flicked over to the other man, scandalized, then back to the kids who were thankfully too engrossed in playing with the puppy to have overheard them. The grin Eren directed at him when Jean looked back over was a little sheepish.

"Sorry, bad habit. Still trying to break it so Carla doesn't swear more than me one day. Last week she called a girl stupid poopface. Her teacher was not happy about that. But at least I know she didn't pick it up from me, I'd have called the rude idiot a whiny little shit for brains."

Jean snorted despite himself at the colourful cursing even though he was still nervously checking that the kids had not overheard their conversation.

"What ... what did she do?", Jean asked, scandalized yet wanting to know more about this unfairly hot, terribly foul mouthed man and his family.

"I don't even know but she made Carla cry. Never thought before getting a kid that one day I'd want to throw hands with a literal six year old."

For some reason the thought made Jean laugh even harder.

"Don't do that, I bet her parents are just as vicious." That he had learned the hard way as soon as Luke had joined kindergarten. People were not up for joking when it was about their spawns but he couldn't even judge them. He was just as bad, after all.

"Parents suck, man", Eren grumbled, but there was an amused smirk playing around his lips, almost like he were sharing a fun secret with Jean who couldn't keep himself from swooning just a little at the sight. Damn, it was unfair how good looking Eren was.

"Hey, not all of us do...", he mumbled with a lame little shrug, helplessly reeling and unable to catch himself and then Eren's amused smirk shifted, turned into something sharper that took absolutely no survivors.

"I guess there's a few fine specimen..."

Was that … some kind of innuendo? It had to be, right? Jean was pretty sure his head was a glowing red signal beacon for his inner horny turmoil but the way Eren still met him in the middle and joked with him was as good a sign as any. Five years since his last real date was a long time but Jean could still remember how this worked.

"Hey, we're heading over to the ice cream stand. Do you three wanna tag along?"

Eren paused, a strange glint in his eyes that made Jean's breath quicken. Then he looked over at the kids rolling in the grass, cuddling Rosie.

"Hey sweet pea, you up for some ice cream?", he shouted and as soon as the words left him the girl sat up straight, her long hair in a tousled disarray with blades of grass sticking out of it.

"Yes!", she screeched before jumping up to her feet, her quick hands reaching down to grab Luke and help him up. While the kids were getting ready to move on Eren turned back to Jean, eyes still glinting warmly.

"Looks like we are", he grinned and if Jean wasn't completely hallucinating those big, green eyes flicked up and down his body within a millisecond to check him out. After five long years of abstinence this man would kill him with his sheer intensity. But that was a risk Jean was willing to take.

Commissions | Kofi | AO3 | twitter | pillowfort

[amnachil]

The College Society Chapter 3 Part 3

4 days late is better than a week so be happy :)

I should be posting the next part of TP tomorow but you know me, I never do what I say :p

Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey Saturday January 26

It had been the worst three days of Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey's life. Maybe not exactly, but among the worst. On wednesday, he had tried to speak with Liam, but the freshman had avoided him, of course. Zack had told him to play it cool. To stay quiet a bit, and then talk with his "boyfriend". To stay quiet. Me. Stay quiet and wait ? What more ? Make the puppy ? And talk to him ? He meant apologise right ? Zack wants me to apologise. Me. Everything had happened because Amber and Theo had tricked him. She had got her hands on four tickets. She had gone on her own at the festival, and then she had waited the perfect moment. I can't express how mad I am. I can't say enough curse to calm down. After this horrible humilition, he had headed straight back home. He had wanked several times. Until he had felt pain and tiredness. And since then, he had met some old friends, some old and smart hunters. And he had banged them all. Some old preys too. He had been having sex, sex and more sex, but he still felt frustrated. He pictured Liam's smile. His soft voice. His cute booty. Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey was a predator. The best of his kind. He had chased hundreds of people. Gay, hetero, even alleged lesbian. He had always succeeded. His thought went to Liam again. This lad had a lovable expression. When they ate together, he was so genuinely happy. Zack wants me to apologise. Fuck Theophile and Amber. And all those assholes who had bet against him. He was ruling the university for god's sake ! And Zack wants me to apologise. Fine. For the first and only time of his life, Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey would beg forgiveness.

The lad headed towards Pasta's Place, where Liam was working this night, when he bumped into Theophile. This... Man I don't know. Fuckin' shitty greedy idiotic douchebag ? Nah. Bally foolish bitchy rotten bastard, it's better.

"Hi Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey. Going somewhere ?"

"Go back in the bloody pussy you came from nasty stupid bitch. I'm busy."

"Sounds like you're a bit more vulgar than usual. Are you scared to lose ?"

The blond lad did his best to stay calm. At least to not be even angrier than he already was.

"You're sure talking a lot moronic asshole." he grumbled aggressively. "Still, you didn't catch the prey either. Maybe it's too much for your prick to handle ? Go back to these fatty shit of yours, idiot."

"I never realised how many curse words you were able to use in only one sentence." applauded Theo with a laugh. "It make me horny. Look, let's make a little deal. You let me Liam. And you let me bang you from time to time because I reckon, you're the best lay around. Oh, and you put on some pounds, because I like you more with a belly. In exchange, you can keep your 1000$."

"Here is my counterproposal. I take Liam. I put my dick in your ass or mouth or any hole you have when I want to. I keep my money. And you go fuck yourself somewhere I can't see you. It's the last warning, don't play with me."

"For now, I'm winning. So be it."

When Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey arrived at Pasta's Place, he was barely calmed down. Judy glimpsed him first. At start, she wanted to make him clear off, but when she saw his eyes, she just led him to Liam. Apparently, this one just finished his shift and was about to left. When they glanced at each other, the Dean's grandson didn't know what to say. He wasn't good to make apologies. He didn't even know how to apologise in the first place. And this baboon was just standing there, looking at him. Damnit Zack, I hate you. Why did you convince me to do this ?

"Listen to me Liam. I'll not say this twice. I'm..."

Damnit, it was harder than he tought. The chestnut lad openned his eyes wide.

"Are you gonna..."

"Shut up, don't make it even more difficult." interupted Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey. "All I want to say is I'm..."

I can't. I can't do this, it's so humiliating. It was Amber and Theo who should be apologising. Not him. Liam slowly took his hands. He had a wonderful face. And damnit, his touch was so soft.

"You're what Dami ?"

It's not my fuckin' name. Please stop it. Stop with this cute nickname.

"I'm sorry." he finally spilt.

And a moment of silent. Say something.

"You're blushing." whispered Liam. "You're cute."

Don't say anything more. Don't. The freshman himself was as red as a tomato. This whole situation was the weirdest Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey ever lived. Even when he had had sex in a field, on the back of a cow, it had been less embarrassing. (Not with the cow, of course, just on her).

"We never really said we were dating or anything." admitted Liam. "I guess you have the right to see other people ?"

"You mean I can't if we are a couple ?"

It's mortifying. How could he survive like this ? As far as he could remember, he had always be with several people at the same time.

"I don't want to force you to do something you won't like." whispered Liam. "Listen Dami, I think you're very nice. Maybe you don't know this, but in a way, you helped me when my world was falling apart. Deliberately or not, you made my life better, and I thank you for this. To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure to understand what you see in me but... I'm okay, and I want to be your boyfriend. And I'm ready to let you have sex with other people like you're used too."

"Wait. How would you know I..."

"You've quite a reputation, but it's Theo who told me. But whatever, I don't mind this as long as your respect some conditions. Please ?"

Conditions. Is this baboon putting conditions at me ? Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey shook his head. What the hell was going on ? Why he felt so shy all of sudden ? Why I'm listening to him ? I should be leading the conversation.

"Which ones ?" he simply asked, much for his own displeasure.

"First, when I call you, you come, whoever you're having sex with. I'm number one for everything. Maybe it'll just be for a cuddle, or to see a movie, but I'm your priority." commanded Liam. "Second, you don't fall in love with any of them. Just sex, nothing more. I don't want you do be sentimentally involved with anyone but me..."

I'm not even loving you. You're just a prey. So why the hell I'm blushing everytime you open your fuckin' mouth ? Why ?

"Okay." the Dean's grandson agreed. "It works for me."

"Third, don't sleep with my relatives. Not my roommate, not my friends nor people I used to know in my past... It would be awkward. And four, you call me. I'm your boyfriend so if you need help with something, I'll be there. If you're sad, happy or angry, I wanna know."

Damnit. That's not what I planned at all. Things were getting out of hand. Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey tried his best to rationalize. To be his former self. But he just felt butterflies in his belly.

"And I've one last request. It's very important to me."

"Whatever it is, I'm fine with it." quickly promised the lad.

No ! What did I just say ?! What's wrong with my body ? With my brain ? I'm broken ! Someone needs to help me, I'm fuckin' broken !

"All the pastries and the plates you're making ? All for me. No sharing. I want them all."

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"Sure. All my cooking is for you."

And then they kissed.

Liam Sunday January 27 – Monday January 28

My mother was right, with each piece of good news come a piece of bad news. Yesterday, Dami had agreed to be his boyfriend. (They still had some stuff to work on, like how to be faithful). (He had what ? Two or three lovers, no more right ?). But Liam wanted to be comprehensive and to respect Dami. If his new boyfriend needed to have sex to feel happy, Liam didn't want to stop him. As soon as I will be ready, I'll have sex with him too... But the chesnut lad wasn't feeling confident enough for that. I don't even know what exactly we are doing. Anyway, this late morning, when Liam woke up, he discovered Theo. He first thought the dark-haired junior had crept into their flat in order to devour Nick. He was ready to hit him with a baguette when his roommate said they had sex. Sex. Liam didn't even know Nick was interested in men... The ogre is having sex with his preys. It was bad, really bad. Liam understood the long-run plan of the monster : he intented to make Nick addicted to him. But can I do something ? I don't know what...

"You look worried." smiled Theo. "Have you some problems I can help with ?"

At this point, Liam wanted to hid under his bed with the unicorns. (They were friends. They would protect him). But he couldn't let Nick alone in this dangerous situation.

"By the way, I heard your father sued your mother." continued the ogre. "I think I can help you with that, since we all are friend here."

What ? Now it was sure. Theo was sent by the forces of evil to harm them. Liam had to find a way out !

"My father is your dad's lawyer. I'm surprised you never realised it. Anyway, I think we can talk to him. Maybe find an arrangement ?"

"Liam dude, it would be nice." added Nick.

"I have one question." interrupted Liam. "It's unrelated to the topic but... Ain't you bothered by cheating on Laura ? Does she know what you're doing ? And you Nick ?"

"We have an agreement." explained Theo. "I'm free to have sex with cute and sweet men like Nick, she's okay with that. I can sleep with you too if you want."

Oh. That's straight. Liam didn't want to sleep with an ogre. And he already have a boyfriend. Not the most faithful in the world but... he was cooking very well at least.

"You should try." excitedly said Nick. "Theo is like... very good ! Trust me, you'll quickly understand why I did that !"

"Uh well... I'm not interested." Liam diplomatically said. "But I'm okay to meet your father and negociate."

The whole conversation felt surreal. I didn't know Nick was interested in men. Or that Laura was aware... This is sooo weird. (Weirder than believing in unicorns, yes).

"Nice, let's say next saturday ?" suggested Theo. "I know the trial is in early february."

"Okay..."

Liam still needed help to save Nick. But he had had an illumination. His boyfriend was someone important after all, maybe he could help. (The chestnut lad had heard something about the Dean, but still couldn't remember what).

The young freshman went to work at 4pm. Judy welcomed him with a concerned look. Exactly like the last time they had talked about the forces of evil. While he got ready, she mumbled :

"Big guy, there's something you need to know."

"What's the matter ?"

He was captivated by his suit. The waiters here had cool suit, nice and warm. He tried once to steal one, but she had stopped him.

"I saw you kiss Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey yesterday. And I don't think it's a good idea." she said. "I know you're a grown-up man, and it's your call but... Do you know how awful he can be ? I think you're only another prey for his tally to be honest."

Liam had already thought about this. And he asked Nate's advice. After all, if Dami was actually sleeping with two or three other person at the moment, he probably had also a lot of ex. (And the freshman was known to be naive so maybe his boyfriend played him). (But he was trusting Dami, he felt it was the right thing to do).

"Thank you Judy but... I don't know. I think I can trust him. He's sweet with me. I've a gut feeling about this. And I appreciate him."

"You sure ? I thought this at first too. Then he ditched me."

It took Liam a moment to undestand. So... they used to be a thing. Okay. Now he was wondering, who had slept with Dami ? Stop it Liam. Stop it now. As Nate said, he shouldn't think about his boyfriend's past. After all, he didn't want his own past to resurface.

"I'm sorry to hear that Judy, because you're a nice girl." he assured. "But I still think it's different. Maybe I'm a fool, and maybe I'm really stupid, but I want to try."

The next morning in class, the professor of macroeconomics gave them an important information. They would make a journey in France. It would take place during the winter holidays. It was unusual for first year students, but the Dean and the administration decided to chose the thirty best students in economics, and give them this opportunity. It appeared Nick was the major of their promotion, so he would be part of it. Rebecca, Barbara and Colton aswell. But Liam never expected to heard his name. Apparently, he was among the best ? I can't believe it. For real ? He felt really happy about it. (In case some people wonder : Liam was bright. With focus, he could probably be a very good student). (But the chestnut lad wasn't thinking about it at all). Some of his friends weren't really pleased with the group, but he was. Plus, the professor anounced they would select some junior and sophomore to come with them. All I need to do is convince Dami to come. Easy-peasy.

Barbara Wednesday January 30

At first, she had thought it would a piece of cake. All she had to do was convince a professor to support her more than Summer. But Ms. Weber wasn't cooperative at all. It was already hard to find the hunters among thousands of students and staff in the university. Barbara discovered some names thanks to Javier, but not enough. And now, one of them, Linda wouldn't help her.

"Look, I'm not sayin' I won't be in your side at the end." she explained. "But for now, I'm trusting Summer. The girl's good. She knows what she has to do to maintain order."

"But isn't she a kind of rival ?" asked Barbara. "For the hunt I mean."

"That's right, we're looking for the same kind of prey. But there are plenty of young male around here. I don't have any gripe against her honestly. Prove you're better or worthier and I'll support you."

I already am... The short blonde just smiled. Obviously, the hunters weren't glad to see her. According to Javier, it took time to build a name in their society.

"Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey himself was my very first support." she reminded. "Does this count for nothing to you ?"

"It depend. Did you ever sleep with the man ?"

"No."

"Well, it's normally easy to turn him on. The man only love his prick you know ? If he hadn't sleep with you, it means he doesn't have much interest for you. And Summer knows how to talk with him. She's the head of student for the second year in a row, it mean something."

"Yeah, I understood this. Thanks you Ms. Webers. See you soon."

Damned. Such a waste of time. It wasn't the firt person she tried to convince. But the hunters were all supporting her opponent. Summer was useless and definitely not smart, but she had numerous great allies. I need to make a move to impress them. An important move. She was heading towards the library when a dark-haired lad approached her. He was tall and ripped, pretty imposing.

"Hey there." he greeted. "I'm Theo Meyers, nice to you meet you."

She knew him. Javier had said he had challenged Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey for his title of best hunter. And whoever is the best hunter is likely able to be the king.

"I heard you were trying to take Summer's position ?" he asked. "I guess you need a little help to make all these hunters work with you ? I mean, powerful people don't really like rookies. Are you a rookie ?"

Barbara smiled prudently. She had already met people like him. Psychopaths.

"I'm not." she replied. "And I'll figure out something."

"Why not beat the most famous and feared hunter ? You could win some respect that way."

Now it became interesting. But she had to be cautious. Obviously, Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey had a lot of ressources. And he didn't seem to have a weakness.

"You've only one thing to do for me, and it's a win." explained Theo. "Distract him on saturday. I'm gonna win the bet this day. Can you do that ?"

"Yes."

She already had the start of a plan.

To be continued

Quite an important part becaure YAY They are finally together !!!! It’s not like... the perfect couple yet, but here they are. Liam is a very eager feedee, he wants the cook to feed him and only him ;) But they’ve still many problems to solve and many hardship to face. The happy end is far away, count on me for that.

And speaking of problems, Barbara and Theo made a deal. Which is not good news...

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTER LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 9

oh goody!

well this is it. the Date Chapter. the chapter, in which, the Date happens. lowkey im so fucking hype for this stupid goddamn chapter AAAAAAAAAAAA this is when the sexy got kicked up about seven notches and i know its gonna be a fucking twenty from here on out so LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO

“Is this your date, Ms. Fall?” he asked.

Cinder didn’t look away from Glynda. “Mhm.”

STRAIGHT OUT OF THE GODDAMN GATE WE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A SECOND TO EVEN GATHER OURSELVES JUST STRAIGHT UP HUH!!!!!!!!! ‘is this your date’ im legally dead

What the fuck.

already im fucking THRIVING im so glad this chapter’s mood got encapsulated within the first ten seconds and im definitely gonna have to re-read this chapter for the full unannotated experience OOOOOOOOOH MY GOD IM SO READY

Glynda’s thoughts ricocheted inside her head like coins left in a dryer. A part of her couldn’t understand what was happening and disengaged. The rest of her, grasping for purchase in all this, reasoned that going with Cinder was better than staying here confused, alone, and utterly displaced.

glynda ‘i aint ever had a gf before’ goodwitch at her PEAK right here. like GOD shes gone from ‘cinder’s trying to murder me’ to ‘cinder just plopped me right into a date’ like CINDER. CINDER YR CHANGING GEARS SO FAST. YOU DIDNT EVEN SEND FLOWERS OR ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

is it because shes a u-haul lesbian or

Higher, Glynda realized the dress itself was backless, revealing the black tattoo she’d seen so often before, perfectly centered between sharp shoulder blades.

this gay energy is BONKERS, quite frankly??????? where did cinder get her dress from? why does she have it? did she buy it just for this fuckery? or will she pull the ‘i just had a this lil number laying around’ line????????? does she wanna seduce glynda to death?????? was this PLANNED OR DID SHE JUST DECIDE SHE WANTED A DATE AND WTH LIFE REALLY IS SHORT ON REMNANT THESE DAYS?????????? cinder fall please explain your workings to the class

maybe Glynda wasn’t the only one who’d become adept at reading her opponent.

👏 when 👏 will 👏 they 👏 kiss 👏 already 👏👏👏👏

me: this is a slowburn also me: if u assholes dont give me this in the next ten seconds-

“Unarmed? As if you could be so helpless.”

cinder’s style of flirting is just. commentating on a person’s deadliness. that’s IT it’s the only TRICK SHE HAS and its working, is the thing,

im reading the description of the table and remembering the shitpost and oh my god i have to draw this???? hell IS real!!!!!! COULDNT YALL JUST TOSS EM IN A PLAIN BOX,

Cinder eyed her from her bastion of dark cushions,

cinder, ass-deep in cushions: this is peak cuddle territory come and join me

Cinder, for her part, seemed delighted Glynda had noticed. Touching the pendant more gently than Glynda might have ever thought her capable of, Cinder said,  “Yours? You didn’t seem to mind parting with it.”

im still deeply enjoying this powermove the novelty NEVER wears off (and at risk of light spoilers i do enjoy its place in this story 👀)

Cinder let the necklace drop, settling against the swell of her bust once more,

/lightly coughs 👀👀👀

im losing my MIND at how gay this bit is i physically cannot HANDLE IT and if they even describe the meal once im gonna pop off cause i am. SO HUNGRY RN. AAAAAAAAAAAA

Cinder indicated a dish of lamb and vegetables, served on a bed of rice and drizzled in some sort of sauce.

SRY THIS ISNT GAY BUT OH MY GOD IM SO HUNGRY I WANNA E A T I T THAT SOUNDS SO GOOD UGHGHGHGHGHGH WHY DID THIS CHAPTER HAVE TO BE TODAY OF ALL THE DAYS,

Glynda cleared her throat, working out: “The Grimm.”

like. GOD WE KNOW GLYNDA IS JUST SO FUNCTIONALLY BAD AT CONVERSATION BUT OF ALL THE THINGS glynda please just. just. stop thinking abt her sexy tattoos for a fifth of a second,

“You can control them.” A sedate blink. For all the world, Glynda might have just commented on the weather.

which is a faux pas for a date!!!!!!!!!!! at least tell her the DRESS IS SEXY WE ALL KNO WHATS WHAT YR THINKIN ABT

Glancing down as though it were being pointed out to her for the first time, Cinder shrugged and adjusted the end of the glove a little higher on her bicep. “And?” 

a quick aside im enjoying how like... visually expressive cinder is in this remaster! i can see her facial expressions and her motions really clearly in my mind’s eye which is a fun little boon if only because i have to redraw this nonsense hjsgdfjhfksgd but cinder’s got a Good Face this time around! A QUALITY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You should know by now, there’s something about you that’s simply irresistible to Grimm.”

HERE COMES THE PLOT (and a single surviving line so far... this one sentence has survived all the world could throw at it... we stan)

Cinder straightened, and Glynda saw that this was what she’d been waiting for.

“It isn’t every day the great Glynda Goodwitch kneels before her adversary, is it?”

HELLO??????????????????????????? WHATS THIS WORDING????????? honestly tho for a second i thought she meant like. quite literally and i thought id missed some PROPER SHIT RIGHT THERE BUT YEAH WTH!!!!!!! C I N D E R

“You cheated. You can’t beat me on your own.”

yes glynda we gathered that yr a top

“Really, Glynda? Poison?” she sneered, something like offense simmering in her expression. “After all this?”

looks at the camera

anyway,

god im literally losing grasp of words to say because theres such a charged mood in this scene............. theyre brushing fingers............ trading jabs.......... im slurpin it up babey!!!!!!!! this rly is the BEST remaster of this whole scene it DESERVES this wordcount!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Beat you,” Cinder corrected. “And call it a point of pride.”

yes cinder we gathered yr a brat,

this dynamic is why this fic is so fuckign good when will winter have a swift return to add even more fuckery to this wild ride

Then, with a heavy-lidded look, Cinder found Glynda’s hand between them, the touch so sudden and daring that Glynda flinched. The fabric of those gloves was smooth against Glynda’s flesh, and for all that cruelty had marked every other instance of contact between them, Cinder was surprisingly gentle.

whomp there go my nuts

WHAT IS THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO MADE THE EXECUTIVE CHOICE TO ADD THIS LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO???????????? im losing my BRAINCELLS

What she wasn’t ready for was for Cinder to guide her hand to her own throat and hold it there.

THERE IS IT THERE’S THE KINK IT’S BEEN SPOTTED

oh my GOD what even IS THIS WHO ADDED THIS SECTION WHO ALLOWED THIS TO COME TO P A S S WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS RN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO????????? HEWWO??????????

Now… Now Cinder interested her.

tbh how can i liveblog this? what commentary can i POSSIBLY add that we arent already all THINKING. we just launched into a level of hell so deep that lucifers gonna have to pull some goddamn tricks to follow us down here!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS THIS SCENE! THIS MOMENT! IM SCREAMING

Glynda mirrored the expression back at him, and finally, he coughed, not making strong eye contact with either of them. He set their plate before them and hurried out without so much as a check-in.

i just KNEW that was gonna happen JHGDSFGJHKSDF he was gonna walk in on SMTHNG but i didnt think itd be CINDER’S CHOKING KINK,

okay i took a break and ate my weight in roast chicken and we’re back babey

Almost nervously, her fingers carded through her own dark hair, and there, among the locks, Glynda spotted a glimpse of something white, structured and ridged.

AND I AM INSTANTLY KNOCKED BACK UPON MY ASS 👈W👈H😨A👈T👈

It was easier to ignore the rest of it—whatever it was.

glynda you are a fool and a moron im withering into DUST

On no level had she expected those to be Glynda’s words.

then what... did she expect... well probably -- and rightly so -- ‘bitch WHAT ARE THOSE’ TBH

wait sorry i have to jump back because i forgot customary fingerguns on the most brazen bit of Shit yet:

Cinder was occupying herself with something else: the head of a dragon, perched over the door and staring down at the two of them with red, glossy eyes.

👈👈👈😎👈👈👈

okay BACK TO THE FIC

Fangs snapped together around the word.

aka back to me horni

/chanting TEETH! TEETH! TE

okay but the reason i doubled back to catch that fingergun is because we’re getting ass-deep into plot now!!!!!!!!!!! WITCHES AND DRAGONS BABEY......... HERE’S WHAT OFFAL HUNT IS ALL ABT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant rly drop more fingerguns than that because any astute reader will start realising the dots im shouting abt and honestly half the fun of this fic is the ride so >:3c

“Funny. I was sure he would have told you.”

that blow was so low i think cinder hit the concrete with that one

oh god theyre gonna get to the bit and i-

“Is that what all of this has been about? You called me here to remind me that I'm autistic?”

/SCREAMS

The words were delivered firmly, calmly, but Cinder’s response was the opposite, sudden upheaval seizing her. Her expression opened in something akin to panic. “Wh—no? What? No! That's not what I—”

/SCREAMS

oh my GOD CINDER YOU HAVE FUCKED UP LEGENDARILY!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD SHE WAS FELL ASS-FIRST ONTO A LANDMINE OH MY GOD

offal hunt v1 cinder: im totally in control and im playing glynda every step of the way

offal hunt v2 cinder: OH JESUS OH FUCK OH NO THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT-

Cinder seemed genuinely stressed now, speaking quicker as though trying to bury the last sixty seconds.

i knew this remaster would have sections that would blow me away but this bit really took the fcuking cake DGHSJFSJHFDG holy SHIT this is AMAZING

It was difficult to tell in the low light, but if Glynda wasn't mistaken, there was a bright flush of embarrassment coloring Cinder’s cheeks.

this is SUCH prime content hey remember in one of the early liveblogs that cinder would descend into full dork? WELL THE DESCENT CAME EARLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /pops bottles

“Cinder.” There was a very real line of threat in Glynda’s tone. “Don’t.”

oh this whole scene just keeps getting better i am LOVING this dynamic now!!!!!!! before it was all pretty one-sided so having the conversation rock back and forth is 👌👌👌

That Witch soul of yours—it was designed to void out everything but the prey before you. To be numb to all human emotion. To focus on the hunt and nothing else.

finally the fruit of 50% of my fingerguns COMES TO LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! PLOT PLOT PLOT

“This is bullshit.” Jabbing an accusing finger at Cinder, Glynda said, “You’re a liar. You’re a criminal!”

i LOVE glyndas pottymouth in this its such a good like... change from her being strict and formal and teachery and now shes full on gremlin huntress hell YES BABY!!!!!!!!!! GO OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“There’s all kinds of things I bet he never told you.” Cinder continued. “Did you know he was close to your predecessor? The Witch who came before you—they were inseparable.”

SRY IM LIKE STRUGGLIN TO COMMENTATE because so much of this like. speaking as an Old-Ass Reader this is like. a LOT! A LOT HAS CHANGED and yet,,,, stayed the same,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, yall kids WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL CHAPTER LIKE................ 15 FOR THIS SHIT (but like. chapter 15 was different because this chapter used to be like chapter 7? so now everythings moved along so chapter 15 doesnt sound that impressive but trust me it was a different fic back then)

When they fell away, burnt and ruined, she could see Cinder’s bare arms for the first time. The red lines drawn across her skin sloped down the entire length of her arms, circling her elbows, carved into her wrists. They ended right at her hands, ensuring any long-sleeved garment would hide them. Every covered inch of her was filled like a canvas, like abstract art.

lets pause the fight scene for glynda to be gay!!!!! god im. okay look i said this earlier but im so glad we have more cinder like this tbh. the first version was rly lacking w/ cinder content until late-game when the plot sorta. got itself going? but now we’re eye-deep in this content i LOVE cinder i love this WEIRDO who is a HUGE LOSER and IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Glynda could not dispel the fear that she had been telling the truth.

and after committing Some Amount In Damages, we’re at the end of the chapter!

okay so i really enjoyed this version SO MUCH MORE. everything abt it was polished and worked together so much better and it really needed the space to breathe in its own chapter. its been horny, gay, intense, hilarious, and way more in one chapter and its SO good this really is PEAK offal hunt!!!!!!!!!!!! good job diesel and kc but im still going to murder you both,

[wildroseofarran]

Three Stories || Lawrina, RoJ, Quintane, & Luke

MJ: MJ placed his head in Rohan's lap. His long, exaggerated yawn said more than a whine possibly could.

Rohan: Hands immediately went to MJ's hair. "My, my, my, what did the gods place on my lap this day?" he asked with a grin. "A tired vampire?"

MJ: "I'm bored. Teach me a new spell, beautiful witch."

Rohan: "Ah, a bored vampire! What would you like to learn? Something useful or something fun?"

MJ: "Teach me...how to turn water into wine," he grinned.

Rohan: Rohan chuckled. "Red or white?"

MJ: "What's your favorite?"

Rohan: "White."

MJ: "What kinda white? That uh...chardonnay?"

Rohan: "I do enjoy chardonnay, but I prefer pinot grigio. It's smoother."

MJ: "I don't really know any of that. So, let's try em all."

Rohan: "In that case, we're going to the nearest vineyard. Going to need to pick up some grapes."

MJ: "What. You're supposed t'be the vineyard!" he laughed.

Rohan: "I'm not as good at poofing up things as Xavier is!"

MJ: "I got a trick for ya. I gotta practice on someone anyway."

Rohan: "Oh?" Rohan ducked his head to kiss his vampire. "What trick?"

MJ: "Yeah, it-" MJ smiled into the kiss, seemed dazed for a heartbeat. "Uh, yeah. Do we have wine any - of course we have wine."

Time to get up.

"C'mon."

Rohan: "We're lousy with wine. We just can't steal Christine's, she'll hang us by our thumbs in the garden."

One more kiss and he would let MJ get up.

MJ: "Xavier has a shit ton. I know he does!"

Rohan: "And you're right. He has the most ridiculously huge wine cellar in North America."

MJ: "Well let's go down there n'steal some."

Rohan: "Borrow, puiule, borrow." He took MJ's hand and led him down to the basement.

MJ: "Yeah, sure. That word." His hand was given attention during their descent. Each pad of his fingers given their own little kiss.

Rohan: Rohan smiled at all the affection, taking the first opportunity to pull MJ into another kiss.

"Any particular kind of wine you want to borrow?"

MJ: "Nah. I don't care. Hey, c'mere." Those lips required more of his attention.

Rohan: He was only too happy to oblige, wrapping his arms around MJ's waist to keep him close. "You come here," he whispered against his vampire's lips, wine temporarily forgotten as he let himself get lost in this beautiful man.

MJ: Arms were made comfortable around Ronan's neck. The wine also forgotten by the man sighing into their kiss.

"You're so beautiful," he purred.

Rohan: Rohan hummed in response, kisses migrating to MJ's neck. "I'm no match for you, puiule."

MJ: "Don't be ridiculous." Oh, his neck. He was still sensitive enough to shiver, massaging the back of his neck.

Rohan: He smiled against his vampire's skin, nipping and kissing and nuzzling more, hoping to elicit more shivers. Maybe even one of those soft moans he loved so much.

MJ: Moans which were given freely. Both hands grasped softly at his hair, tugging and combing as a means to keep himself busy.

Rohan: There it is, Rohan thought to himself. He loved those sounds. Those gorgeous, sweet little sounds.

"Beautiful," he murmured, tugging MJ's shirt aside to feast on that lovely spot where MJ's neck met his shoulder. "I have half a mind to take you back to the bedroom."

MJ: "What if I take you in my mouth right here and now?" One hand to the back of his neck, the other reached to cup him. "Lemme have this."

Rohan: Rohan's answering chuckle tapered a soft, barely-there growl at the touch. "Is that what my vampire wants?" he asked, pressing into MJ's hand. "Because there's a very comfortable looking chair right over there we could make use of."

MJ: The growl would have caught his breath in his chest had he been able. What an unexpected sound from the witch. He felt compelled to fall to his knees, but he was right; there was a chair better suited for their activities. Rohan would be carried to it.

"What now, sir?"

Rohan: It was rare, but every time MJ called him 'sir', a special kind of warmth pooled in Rohan's belly. It was almost enough to make him growl again. Almost.

He kissed MJ again as he was taken to the chair, settling in comfortably and taking that beautiful face in his hands, holding him in place for more kisses. "Now, my vampire can take what he wants," he whispered.

MJ: "I gotta undress ya." He kissed him again. "Ya gonna let me, sir?" It hadn't taken long to figure out what that word did to the witch. He used it at every appropriate opportunity for their mutual pleasure. Never around company, of course. It was their own private fetish.

Rohan: This time he couldn't quite manage to keep in the growl, quiet as it was. It, too, would be something kept private between them, something they only indulged when they were in their little bubble.

"Of course I am, puiule." Another kiss, two. "Go as quickly or as slowly as you want."

MJ: "Tell me why ya call me that." Tell me while I undo your belt, your button and zipper. Let me hear your voice while I expose you to the cellar air, kiss and swallow you whole.

Rohan: "It's a Romanian term of endearment." Though Rohan's voice was soft and laced with affection as he watched MJ, his eyes were a different story. They were no less affectionate, no less soft, but they were alight with lust and anticipation. At least until the feeling of MJ's mouth around him closed them.

"It means baby, but simply calling you baby just wouldn't feel the same." His voice was breathier now. "Puiule holds more meaning." Puiule felt closer to his heart.

MJ: Puiule. He'd have to memorize other words for Rohan as a gift. Just thoughts while he sucked down and tickled scrotum. He worshipped this man as he believed he deserved. It was all just spontaneous lust...but something more. He knew Rohan loved him. He knew Victoria would never allow their romance to flourish.

His movements began to slow.

"D'ya wanna fuck me?"

Rohan: MJ's ministrations were rewarded with soft moans and jerky little movements of Rohan's hips as he slipped deeper and deeper into his blissful state. His vampire felt so good around him, so perfect. Rohan could spend hours with him like this and be completely content.

He was thinking about saying as much when he felt something...shift. It was subtle, but it was there.

He opened his eyes, instinctively caressing MJ's cheek with his thumb. "Only if it's what you want as well."

MJ: "I just want ya t'take me."

Rohan: Rohan sat up, bringing MJ in for a lingering kiss. "Let's go back up to the bedroom."

MJ: "Kay. One sec." He was still going to grab one of Rohan's favorites before they returned where they had began.

Rohan: He smiled as MJ grabbed the wine. Even in the heat of the moment, his vampire still thought of him.

Once he'd gotten himself at least halfway decent, he took MJ's hand and led him back up to the room and into their private little bubble, pulling MJ back into his arms the first chance he got.

………………………………………………………..

Q: Q Traxler turned once again to check on the man behind him. His blazer was undone and draped over Luke Graham's shoulders.

"You alright?"

Luke: Luke smiled, Q's gesture seeming to pull him out of his reverie. His mind felt like it was a thousand miles away.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just distracted."

Q: "We don't have to do this tonight if you don't want, babe."

Luke: "No, I do. I need a distraction from my distractions. They're all work related."

Q: "Which work? You're running yourself thin, you know. You sure you want a house party?"

Luke: "Law firm. Been mentally calculating how much of Ryder's workload I'm going to get once he goes on his honeymoon in a couple months." He stopped long enough to tug Q down for a kiss. "I'm sure. It's exactly what I need."

Q: Down he went, plenty content to give as many kisses as Luke required. "Then I'll give you what you need and then some when we get home," he winked. "Just keep Stacey at arm's length. She's a chatty Kathy."

Luke: That earned Q another smile, and another kiss. "Looking forward to it like you wouldn't believe."

"Pfft, don't have to tell me twice. Her two favorite questions to ask me are 'are you rich yet?' and 'are you sure you're gay?'."

Q: "She has an agenda against anything not straight. Hides it behind a sweet smile and "I swear I don't care" attitude."

Luke: "Makes her the worst kind of person. You know she's scared of Stella?" he added with a grin.

Q: "Is she really?" he laughed. "And you don't mind meeting my friend Tane?"

Luke: Luke nodded. "Yep. Stella can and has beaten people up in the past for giving me and Pete shit for liking men. It's a treat to watch."

"No, not at all. June said he's really tall and nice."

Q: "And handsome, and gay, and mature, and can hold his own, and his hugs are the best you'll ever get. Next to mine."

Luke: "He's gay and he has to work near Stacey? I should send the poor guy a condolence card." He chuckled. "They'd have to be pretty amazing to beat yours. You're my sexy teddy bear, remember?"

Q: That word won't belong to me after you meet him. I promise."

Luke: Another stop, another kiss. "We'll see about that, sugar."

……………………………………………………………………………………….

Lawrence: Lawrence Atlas checked his watch for the third time in less than five minutes. He paced towards the tea kettle and back to his account book on the dining table. A page flipped. Back to the kettle. Watch, book, kettle, repeat.

"How long is it until we see the results?" He already knew the answer, but he just wanted to hear it again.

Gina: Lawrence's pacing was making her nervous, but she knew she'd be even more nervous if she got up to pace with him. Better to just stay put and jiggle her leg.

"Just a couple minutes," said Gina. "Are you sure you don't want tea? You keep looking at the kettle."

Lawrence: "I do but I don't know if I want - I prefer coffee. Can you even drink that if you're - probably not. Right?"

Gina: Yes, good, something to do with her hands. "I'll make you coffee." She was already getting up before she'd finished the sentence.

"I can, just very small amounts." 200 milligrams if she remembered correctly. "So herbal tea for me. Chamomile I think."

Lawrence: "Gina." He took her hands and squeezed them. "Is this what you want? If the test comes out positive, are you ready for that?"

Gina: She took a deep breath. She'd been asking herself that very question since she realized she'd missed her period and there were two facts she knew for certain.

"I'm terrified, but...yes." Her voice softened to a whisper. "I think I am. What about you?"

Lawrence: "I...If you - if you're willing to be with me, despite what I am and how I - I came to be... Of course I'm ready."

Gina: Gina brought a hand to his cheek. "Who you are is Lawrence. My Lawrence, who I love. That's what matters to me. I couldn't even imagine being here right now or doing this without you."

Lawrence: "So..." After nearly an hour without, his smile returned. "We're gonna have a baby? Wait - Are we having a baby?" he laughed. "Check the stick-thing."

Gina: Seeing Lawrence smile made Gina relax enough to smile back. Hearing him say that just...

"Oh, lordy. Let's check the pee stick." She walked back over to the table and picked it up, taking a deep breath before looking down at the little screen.

".....Lawrence...."

Lawrence: Well, that was that. "What shall we name him or her? What if we have twins or triplets? Gotta think of multiple names. Colors for the -" the room. "What are...we gonna do with...the room?"

Gina: His questions just washed over her for a moment. She stared at the little window, vision going blurry with tears as she read the word 'pregnant' over and over. It was right there, written in plain English.

"It's going to be our baby's room," she whispered, finally looking up. Her eyes were swimming and her smile was as radiant as the sun. "Our baby. We're having a baby. Lawrence, we're having a baby!"

Lawrence: The more she said it, the brighter Lawrence's expression became. Each equaled a hundred kisses. His heart had flown to the heavens.

"A baby!" he laughed. "Oh my god!" His sweet fiancée was lifted into his arms, brought into his lap as he sat. "Can I do that? Will that - I should get into the habit of not picking you up."

Gina: Although she was now openly weeping, Gina's laugh as she was picked up was pure joy. She hugged her arms tight around Lawrence's neck, still reading the word on the test over and over just to make sure she wasn't dreaming. This was real. They were going to have a baby.

"We'll be okay on it for a while," she sniffled, smiling wide as she kissed him. "When I start showing it might not be a good idea but for now..." She took one of his hands and placed it on her abdomen, holding it there as she twined their fingers. Their baby was in there, probably no bigger than a grain of rice.

Lawrence: "That's ours," he whispered, fascinated by what he couldn't see and yet to feel. "Is that...alright to say and feel right now? I know this is your ordeal and...I don't want to overstep by - I don't know what I'm trying to say."

Gina: She nodded immediately, not feeling or showing an ounce of hesitation. "Ours. Always ours, never just mine, okay? Always ours. Our ordeal, our weird cravings, our pregnancy, our baby grain of rice."

Lawrence: "You already have names in mind, don't you? We need to - I'd like for us to be married before the baby is born. Do you want the baby in the photo? You showing, I mean."

Gina: "A few might've popped into my head," she chuckled, resting her forehead against his.

"I'd like that, too." She'd imagined it more times than she could even count. "And I'd love for the baby to be in the photo. It could be something simple and lovely. Down at the beach maybe, or at the inn."

Lawrence: "So, a beach wedding six months from now, and we also reveal the sex at the reception?" he grinned.

Gina: "To everyone else. I want us to know as soon as possible." She grinned back. "Our little secret."

Lawrence: "Really? You don't want it to be a surprise until then?"

Gina: Gina shook her head. "I want to know right away. Too impatient to wait."

Lawrence: "Then we gotta think of names quick!" he laughed.

Gina: "What are you thinking? Tell me the first names that pop into your head."

Lawrence: "I like...the name Brogan...Brenna...Loreto. I've always liked the name Juna." However long was "always". "What about you?"

Gina: "Brenna," she repeated softly. "I like that. It's very sweet. I've always liked Camilla. Kelly, for a boy. Noelle. Sam."

Lawrence: "Kelly for a boy? That's one of those names like Ashley or Lindsay?"

Gina: "Yep," she said with a nod. "My dad's brother's name is Kelly. He's my favorite uncle."

Lawrence: "Kelly Lawson? Has a nice ring to it, like a lawyer." As did Mason Atlas in his opinion, but he wouldn't say that. "What are we going to do with...her room?"

Gina: "Close, he's an investment banker," she chuckled. "His favorite thing is to meet people who think he's a woman when they hear his name and see their faces when they realize he's a man."

Gina leaned against him. "I want it to be the baby's room. But I don't want the baby to feel like he or she is living in her shadow, but I also don't want to just...push her aside."

Lawrence: "I think we can honor both children. I don't see anything wrong with our baby playing with her toys, or wearing old shoes. It doesn't - it'll be fine, as long as you're alright with it."

Gina: "I don't see anything wrong with it either. Those things should be used. Maybe if the baby uses them, they'll feel less sad." Not that the things themselves would feel sad, although this was the same woman who named (and bonded with) all her kitchen appliances and her car.

Lawrence: Gentle kisses were peppered from ear to ear and to her lips. He wanted her to feel loved and appreciated more now than ever with such a delicate subject.

"Our baby will know about her."

Gina: Gina smiled softly, letting his love wash over her. There would be some sadness and fear and maybe some grief as her pregnancy progressed, but right now there was only joy. Joy and love.

"Thank you," she whispered, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing him tight. "I love you so much."

……………………………………………………………

Q: Q balanced three cocktails with ease as he waded through the familiar faces towards where he had left Tane Lukela and Luke Graham. He knew Stacey would be on the hunt; he knew she would find a way to learn who was dating or fucking or trying to fuck whom.

Two couples passed agonizingly slow, women versus men, forced him to wait. He took the moment to tilt his head up to the setting sun and quietly bake.

Tane/Luke: Luke liked to think he was perfectly equipped to handle Stacey. His poker face was second to none, his suspicion of her general person was always at its peak, and he was just cold and hostile enough to deter her and still somehow manage to be polite. She wouldn't get so much as the damn time from him.

But Tane Lukela? Yeah, Luke was in no way equipped to handle him.

He'd been flustered from the moment Q had introduced them and it only got worse when his pretend boyfriend had gone to fetch them drinks. He felt like he was bright red and radiating heat as he explained what he did for a living.

"Ah, so you're one of the good guys," Tane was saying.

"Yea-yep." Luke nodded. "One of the good guys. Only represent the good people. No bad ones."

Q: Q smiled at the mere sight of them. He loved their natural contrast. Already he wanted to see more...so much more. A friendship was all he hoped for, but given the tint of Luke's cheeks, pleasantries only scratched the surface here.

"Are you that intuitive to know which are honest and which are playing you?"

Drinks were passed around, and a wide flirtatious smile was given to both. Step one into easing them into his scheme.

Tane/Luke: Oh, thank god. Alcohol and Q. Maybe now he could make himself calm down.

Luke took the drink gratefully, forcing himself to sip slowly. Being drunk wouldn't do him any favors right now. "With some people, but others require some looking into." Fuck, don't smile at him like that. There was nowhere they could sneak to for a kiss which, unbeknownst to him, was Tane's exact thought.

Tane returned Q's smile before turning to shifting his attention to Luke again. He was so cute with his blush he was trying to pretend wasn't there. "Looking into?"

"Yeah, we um..." Luke cleared his throat. "We have a P.I. on retainer."

"Seriously? How often do you use them?"

"A couple times a month at least, when there's a case that gets ugly."

Q: "More than the usual scandal, I hope? Can't be the same old same old in Raleigh. Too much military around." He was just going to play off their exchanged glances and that obvious look in Tane's eyes. Best he could do for both of them, he believed, was to play as casually as possible.

"So, we're going back to Hawaii for Tane's birthday. Yours being in September, you know, you should come with us."

Tane/Luke: "Never is." He took another sip. He was already starting to feel a little more composed. "People always find new ways to screw each other over, which would be impressive if it weren't such a pain to deal with."

Luke's face lit. "Hawaii?"

Tane nodded. "Yep, Honolulu. Ever been?"

"Never. I've always wanted to though."

"Then you should absolutely come with us. We're taking Logan, too, hopefully."

The offer got more tempting. "When's your birthday?"

"July 30th."

Q: "If I had it my way, we'd be there until your birthday, but as it is, it'll be for four days. What I /really/ want to do is hop around. Hawaii, Australia, New Zealand. I want a whole month dedicated to it, and then a whole month dedicated to the best places on Earth to snowboard."

Tane/Luke: "A month and a half would be nice, but four days in Hawaii is better than four days pretty much anywhere else."

Tane smiled at that, which made Luke's blush just a little darker. He was definitely flustered. "Exactly. Knew we'd get along."

Just drink, Luke told himself. Drink and try to act like a person. "If you want to snowboard, definitely go to Colorado," he said to Q. "And Canada."

The thought of all that snow and cold made Tane shudder. "You go to Canada, I'll stick to showing you around my homeland and adopted homeland."

Luke blinked. "You're Australian?"

Q: "I'll take Colorado. I was thinking more like Sweden, but you know, I should have something to compare it to. Oh and, you are coming with. No excuses."

Tane/Luke: Tane nodded at Luke and shook his head at Q. "I'll freeze to death and go broke buying dad sweaters!"

Q: "You'll be fine! You'll have us to warm you up." He winked at Luke.

Tane/Luke: Luke? Oh Luke wasn't here anymore. A tomato with blond hair had taken his place. "I take it you're not a fan of the cold?" he asked, voice sounding squeaky and nervous to his own ears.

"Not one bit. I grew up in Hawaii and Australia, dealing with snow is not in my wheelhouse. If I go, I'm going to spend the entire trip inside by a fire with a mug of hot chocolate."

Q: "You'd hate Chicago. Especially in winter. It's just an excuse to wear your best clothes and an even better excuse to strip the one you're with."

Tane/Luke: Tane tried not to smile too much when Luke choked on his drink and coughed at Q's little comment. "My step-dad worked in Chicago when he was younger and he told me his eyelashes got frost on them when he was waiting for the bus in the winter. Fuck that. I'll stick to the warmth."

Q: "I going to have to show you Chicago. If you wanna hide that's fine. Maybe you'd prefer March. Everything becomes green."

Tane: "I'll go anywhere in the spring and summer. Colorado, Canada, Chicago, anywhere. The sun is my friend."

Q: "Then it stinks and you can feel the pollution aging your skin."

Tane: "You can go to the beach and swim and have barbecues and bonfires."

Q: "Getting half-naked and sweaty, dropping wet after a swim."

Q looked Luke over and grinned from ear-to-ear. "Am I being too much, baby?"

Tane/Luke: Tane couldn't help but chuckle when, rather than answer, Luke returned to his lovely crimson shade and downed some more of his drink.

"That looks like a yes," he said, taking a drink himself.

Luke cleared his throat, trying to save face a little. But there were two handsome men smiling at him and flustering him and god, he couldn't get it together. "I'm fine. Totally fine."

Q: Q just smiled on patiently. "Would you be totally fine if I kissed you right here and now?"

Luke: "Not with our current audience." And he didn't mean Tane. There were four judgy people just in his line of sight.

Q: "What if weeee were to excuse ourselves from the party in a few minutes?"

Tane/Luke: Luke blinked. Glanced to Tane. Tane put two and two together. Luke blinked again.

"Seriously?" he asked, feeling the sudden need to look around for Stacey and make sure she couldn't hear. So much for his poker face.

Q: Q's tone remained as calm as ever, though with flecks of lighthearted libidinous still present. "Only if you want to, if everyone is comfortable. We don't have to do anything you don't want, baby."

Tane/Luke: There was a certain deer-in-headlights look in Luke's eyes that tugged at Tane. Something was making him nervous, and it wasn't the notion of taking a private moment with Q.

"She won't bother you," he heard himself say as he caught Stacey's voice somewhere in the crowd. His own had gone reassuring and gentle. "Her attention can be focused elsewhere."

Q: "We all arrived as friends, and we're all leaving as friends. That's all she has to know." She had made mountains out of less material, but that wasn't something Q cared about in the least.

Tane/Luke: "And if he tries to say something or stick her nose where it doesn't belong, we'll have Charmaine's little sister Mira say something mean to her." He pointed toward the other side of the room. "She's right over there flirting with that Jason Bourne look-a-like."

That got a smile out of Luke.

Q: The escort laughed. "Yeah. We'll use Mira. Super effective and devastating attack." He wanted to touch Luke, to give him the usual assurance as he would in private.

Tane/Luke: Tane smiled. He could see Luke start to relax, even if it was only a little. "She takes after her Uncle Glenn. She's a third his size but she's just as scary in that really quiet way." The perfect deterrent against Stacey and her big mouth.

"She is scary," Luke said, chuckling softly. It was one of the things he liked best about her. "I'm okay, really."

Q: Stacey, at least in this moment, seemed harmless as she chased her child around the yard yelling, "I'm going to get you!" She wasn't all bad, just a gossip. A really fucking annoying gossip, but her faults were few.

"Smells like the crab boil is almost done. Ever had that before? You know, grab and potato and corn on the cob in one pot?" He grinned at both. "Maybe Tane, but not you."

Luke: Luke grinned back. "I did grow up here, remember? If it has a shell and it came out of the ocean, I've had it cooked a thousand different ways."

Q: "But you're my posh lawyer. There's not a dirty bone in you."

Luke: Now there was a laugh. "Before I was a posh lawyer I was a squeamish kid who used to hide in his brother's lap when fishing with our dad so I wouldn't see the fish guts."

Q: "That's so adorable and also makes my point," he laughed.

Luke: "There are no fish guts today though," Luke chuckled. "I'm fine as long as I can't see or smell them."

Q: "But you're cracking into their hand! They needed those for eating! You're a monster," he teased. He figured Luke was one squeamish moment away from being one of those vegan people.

Tane/Luke: Hearing Tane chuckle made Luke smile even more. "They're chilling out in crab heaven, they're totally fine!"

Q: "You can justify your eating their insides. You're more devious than I imagined!"

Luke: "Oh, yeah. The most devious, posh family lawyer in all North Carolina."

Q: "And you're mine."

Luke: And there went that blush again, this time accompanied by a ridiculous smile that Luke tried to hide by ducking his head.

Q: "What's that? You're hiding from me?"

He stepped closer, but not to touch him with his mouth. That would be too much for their setting. Instead, he whispered in his ear how much he wanted him, how much he wanted to kiss every inch of blush.

He looked into Tane's eyes and winked.

Tane/Luke: "Not from you," he managed, smile obvious even in his voice. He was hiding from everyone else, not wanting to draw any attention to their little corner of the party.

Of course, there was no telling how Luke was going to be able to avoid that with all the lovely, swoon-worthy things Q was whispering to him. He wished with every fiber of his being that they were in an invisibility bubble so he could snuggle into his pretend boyfriend's arms and kiss him.

Tane chuckled silently over Luke's shoulder. "You're flustering him," he mouthed to Q.

Q: Oh, I know, Q thought. I bet you could fluster him just as easily.

Ignorance was bliss, thanks to an elegant past lover, no idea that he possessed an innate preternatural talent. The very same power which could have inflicted Tane Lukela since night one.

"Do you really want to stick around for under seasoned food, or do you want to feign a headache and have us walk you home?"

Tane/Luke: "I thought there was no such thing as under-seasoned in the south," Tane mused, eying the food table suspiciously.

"You'd be surprised." Luke cleared his throat, finally lifting his face. It was very much red. "It's tempting. I could feed us properly seasoned food. Got some mahi at the market I was planning to grill."

Q: "Now that sounds like a party I want to be a part of." An extrovert though he was, time spent with Luke was spent as though paid. His happiness and satisfaction were still very much a priority. He wanted Tane to be a part of Luke's life.

"You do that, and maybe...maybe I'll put on a show for you...both."

Tane/Luke: Tane quickly nodded in agreement. "You had me at mahi. Not enough places around here serve it." Plus, he was curious to see what Luke was like when he was in an environment he felt confident and secure in.

Luke's brows shot up in surprise. "Is that code for a strip tease in my living room?"

Q: "Is that something Mr. Graham would like from me?"

Luke: Ordinarily yes, but Q had said 'both' so...

"....Perhaps. Perhaps."

Q: "What are the conditions required for a yes?"

Luke: "No conditions, just...mulling."

Q: "You don't have to do anything you don't want to, baby."

Luke: Luke nodded. "I know," he said, smiling softly.

Q: "Tane has been a surprise I've been debating for you for a while now." He smiled to Big T, gentle and, as the bouncer would probably recognize, loving. His attention returned to the lawyer, fingers brushed over his hand as he took his glass from him.

"I'll get refills."

Tane/Luke: Of course Tane recognized that smile. It was one of the many, many things he loved about Q, and he would always give one back in kind when he was gifted with it.

Meanwhile, the look of flustered embarrassment on Luke's face had been replaced by one of, well, surprise.

Tane was a surprise? For him? Did Tane know he was a surprise? Even if he didn't, he seemed perfectly fine with it. He was still smiling and friendly. That was probably a good sign, right?

He nodded at Q while the conga line of questions danced through his head. "Okay. Thank you." He turned to Tane. "So...you're...."

"Your surprise," Tane said softly, smiling at Luke in his gentle, soothing way. He hadn't known beforehand but as Luke surmised, he was perfectly fine with it. "Is that okay?"

You're giant and gorgeous. Of course it's okay. "I--yes."

Q: Q took his sweet time in the kitchen, watching them every once in a while from the open window. They were unique. The contrasts between them didn't negate either man. He wouldn't always be what Luke Graham needed. Someday he would have to move on. Tane Lukela was the only man he could think of worthy of his company. He knew he would treat him preciously, like the gift he was. Watching them, it was already apparent that his assumption had been accurate.

Small talk redirected his attention. He allowed it, and allowed himself to relax.

Tane/Luke: Even though he was starting to relax, what remained of Luke's nerves still made Tane smile. He'd never met a lawyer this soft and cute before, and yet he couldn't help but think that not everyone got to see this side of Luke, or even knew it existed. He struck Tane as a very private person and that just tugged at him in some kind of way.

"What Q said still holds up, you know. Surprise or not. You don't have to do anything you don't want to or anything that makes you feel uncomfortable."

Luke nodded again. He hadn't needed it, but the reassurance was still nice. And appreciated. "Thanks for that."

"No need to thank me. It's a given, always will be. For me and for Q." Another smile. "He cares about you a lot, and I can tell you care for him."

A warm tingle settled in Luke's chest. "I do."

Q: Q slowly began to make his way back. Every sectioned crowd was given a greeting and his input. Those outside by the giant pot were assisted in cutting up a new batch of potatoes with his pocket knife. A beer was chugged with the most heavy drinking competitive. Finally, he made his way over.

"What did I miss?"

Tane/Luke: This time around, Luke wasn't nearly as anxious for Q to return as he had been the last time. Which wasn't to say he wasn't keeping an eye out for him, waiting for his warm, comforting presence to make itself known again. Still, it was a good testament to Tane's powers of distraction and innate ability to set people at ease.

He even managed to make Luke laugh. He was still patting himself on the back for it when Q came back to them. "Not much. I was just telling Luke about how my brother Derek scarred me for life literally and metaphorically with the frisbee."

Q: "Oh, that story. You're going to have to get over it, Big T. I'm going to throw one at you every day until you chill. That's what's going to happen."

Tane: "I already did!" he chuckled. "When I played with you and Logan. I even caught it a couple times."

Q: "You still flinched."

Tane/Luke: "But I still caught it!"

Luke couldn't help but smile. He just couldn't imagine this giant man flinching,

Q: "I'll show you later, Luke. It's fucking adorable and yet you want to make it worse and do it again."

Tane/Luke: Tane gasped in sheer, dramatic betrayal and Luke lost his battle with his giggle.

"It is not!" said Tane. "I am not adorable when I'm ducking from rogue frisbees."

Q: "Luke will be the judge of that later," he nodded.

Tane: "Luke is gonna be Logan today because I will hide behind him if you throw the frisbee hard on purpose just to make me flinch."

Q: "Luke will know that getting out of the way is good for you."

Luke: "Luke also has a healthy fear of getting hit in the face," Luke chuckled. "But I will simultaneously protect and help provide exposure therapy."

Q: "You're going to protect him? Tell me how. I want it all."

Luke: "I may be a ref now but once upon a time on my college team I played goal keeper. I'm very good at blocking foreign objects coming at me."

Q: "Are you going to reach the top of his head? Maybe if he ducked. He does that often." Oh, he was grinning from ear-to-ear.

Tane: Tane was squinting at Q. "You're enjoying this far too much." He was definitely going to have to do something about that later.

Q: "What are you going to do about it?" Tell me in front of Luke.

Tane/Luke: A smiled tugged at the corner of Tane's mouth. "Not entirely sure buuuuut…..that ass of yours is very bite-able."

Luke inhaled sharply.

Q: Q smiled knowingly, breathed slowly. "What do you think, Luke? Any truth to that?"

Luke: You would think by now Luke would've relaxed and gotten his blushes under control, but that wasn't the case.

His face was still very much red as he gave a jerky nod. "Mhmm." He didn't trust himself to speak.

Q: "What's the matter, baby?" Q tilted his head, completely innocent.

Luke: He just smiled and shook his head. "Nothin'." Ah ha, he found his voice! "Nothin' at all."

Q: "What's good, then?"

Luke: "Ah, well...Tane's suggestion has merit. A lot of merit."

Q: "Want a demonstration?"

Luke: He gave a slow nod. Not hesitant, just slow.

Q: "Want to go home?" A question asked to both men.

Tane/Luke: Another nod from Luke, along with a smile from Tane. "Let's go have ourselves some seasoned food."

Q: "You know the way to my house." His keys were given to Luke. "Going to say goodbye to our host and explain how so very ill you are, and we need to take care of you."

Luke: "I do," Luke said as he took the keys. If his smile got any bigger his face was going to start to hurt. If anyone believed he was really feeling sick, it would be a miracle. "Just gonna have to stop by my house to grab the food so I can feed you both."

Q: "Take Tane with you. I'll meet you there."

Tane: "You sure?" Tane asked.

Q: "He won't bite unless you want him to."

Tane: He laughed. "I meant about walking all the way back."

Q: "I'll be fine. Promise."

Tane: "All right." Since he couldn't give Q the kiss he wanted to give him in their current setting, he simply gave him a smile that promised one soon. "Come on, Luke, let's go get the food."

………………………………………

MJ: The expensive bottle of wine had almost fallen to the floor, rescued in the last possible second. The vampire exhaled and set it safely aside.

"Are ya sure ya wanna?" The idea had been planted by no other, but it had been a heat of the moment suggestion.

Rohan: Rohan inhaled sharply the moment the bottle slipped out of MJ's hands, exhaling in the same fashion and chuckling as it was caught. They'd narrowly escaped a lecture from Xavier about the carpet.

He smiled at his vampire. "I'm sure. Are you?"

MJ: "I...It's - I'm dead, Ro. I don't...understand. Xavier tried t'explain that I - I dunno what m'sayin'."

Rohan: "You are but you're not." MJ was given a gentle kiss. "It's all right if you change your mind, either now or during. We'll start slow and if you want to stop, we'll stop."

MJ: That sounded reasonable. Of course. Solutions were quicker from the witch than with himself. Answers which saved everyone. And those kisses.

"I wanna be...naked with ya."

Rohan: You like the kisses? Have another, beautiful vampire. "As you wish, puiule," he whispered, locking the door and leading MJ over to the bed.

"Want me to do the honors?"

MJ: "So long as I get t'undress ya." So satisfying it was to peel away his clothes like an ugly second skin for something so appealing.

Rohan: His smile radiated with affection for the man before him. "I would never dream of refusing you."

Rohan stepped within his vampire's reach, taking the liberty of removing his shoes before allowing those lovely cool hands to roam everywhere they wished.

MJ: This was a favorite ritual of his. To slide his hands underneath Rohan's shirt, allowing him to siphon his chill before removing the barrier altogether.

"Ro..."

Rohan: Rohan hummed softly at that initial difference in temperate, smile slowly growing as MJ's evened out with his own. He lifted his arms obligingly so his vampire could remove his shirt and stole another kiss before asking, "Yes?"

MJ: "Do you ever think 'bout anyone else?"

Rohan: "In the same way I think about you?" Rohan shook his head as he kissed MJ's shoulder. "No."

MJ: "Not...ever?" He cupped his face and leaned away enough to study his expression.

Rohan: MJ would find nothing but sincerity, and perhaps a bit of curiosity. "Not since the day I met you."

MJ: "The day I came in here all bloody n'crazy?"

Rohan: He nodded. "That day."

MJ: "But..." I was a catastrophe. "Are we... What are we?"

Rohan: A thumb caressed MJ's jaw. "I suppose you could say we're dating or simply....together. Together has a nice ring to it. But what do you want us to be?"

MJ: He leaned into his hand and quietly debated. He knew his instinct.

"Like...a... Ya know like...when ya smoke, or drink, orgasm or pop a pill. That high like... it's not all perfect, but, life ain't shit anymore? S'what it's like with ya. I wanna keep it, but I know the high goes away."

Rohan: "Eventually, perhaps." The perhaps was very important in this scenario. Even if MJ wasn't ready for something permanent or didn't want to label whatever was between them, Rohan wasn't planning on going anywhere anytime soon.

"But not now. Not for a long time," he whispered, nuzzling his beautiful vampire's cheek.

MJ: "N'ya still wanna..." Those kisses were distracting, simple though they were. "...Ya still wanna...have sex with me? Real sex?"

Rohan: Rohan nodded. "I do, but still only if that's what you want too."

MJ: "N'ya don't see it as...as..."

Rohan: He shook his head. "I don't."

MJ: "Then...finish undressin' me. Please."

Rohan: MJ was given a soft smile and one of those kisses he loved so much as Rohan pulled him close. He wanted every bit of his vampire in reach while he eased his shirt off, while he undid his jeans, while he lavished every inch of exposed skin with affection.

Rohan was going to take his time and take great care with the precious man in his arms. He wanted tonight to be as pleasurable for MJ as possible.

MJ: Bare skin, pale, dusted with the occasional dark freckle. A mole over his rib.

He wanted to give Rohan similar treatment, but he wanted to wait. He wanted to be completely nude before offering the same to his witch. It felt... submissive.

Rohan: Every one of those freckles was given loving, lingering attention, as was that sweet little mole. As was all of MJ.

Rohan's lips followed MJ's jeans as he slid them down the vampire's legs, and once they had been tossed away, the process was repeated with MJ's boxers until at last there was nothing between him and all that lovely skin. He would slowly work his way back up MJ's body, pausing briefly at his groin to press a soft kiss just above the base of his shaft.

MJ: No one had ever made him feel so feminine. No one had been given the opportunity. Not even Peter Graham, the man he believed to be his and his alone.

What an inappropriate time to think about the man that had broken his heart.

Rohan was suddenly held around his shoulders, face nuzzled into his neck.

Rohan: The sudden movement took Rohan by surprise. For half a second he expected and prepared for MJ to tell him to stop, that it was too much and that he'd changed his mind. But then his vampire was simply holding him.

"It's all right, puiule," he murmured, arms immediately coming up to hold MJ close, to offer reassurance and comfort and affection. "I've got you. It's just you and me. I've got you."

MJ: "M'alright," he muttered. "Don't need t'talk t'me like that. M'not gonna break." Not yet, anyway. Not by this.

Rohan: Rohan nodded and kissed MJ's shoulder, hands rubbing over his back for both the pleasure of feeling his skin and to reassure.

MJ: "Ya feel so warm," he marveled at the differences in their skin. "Aren't ya hot all the time?"

Rohan: He chuckled softly. "Only in the summer. All other times I'm comfortable, even when it's cold. I have that thick Romanian blood."

MJ: "Show off." What would Rohan do with fangs teased against his throat, with the obvious arousal against his thigh? How would he feel to the deliberate breaths against his skin...

Rohan: How would he feel in the face of so many signs of MJ's attraction and arousal?

Absolutely divine.

Rohan gave an appreciative little hum, hold tightening around MJ so he could feel more of him. That beautiful face required kisses, as did that shoulder. And that perfectly sculpted ass? Well that needed a loving squeeze.

MJ: Rohan must have known that such a hold made him feel secure, protected from that which was within. It would do nothing against Victoria, he assumed. He was mistaken. The stronger he felt, the less control she could wield.

"Tighter."

Rohan: If MJ wanted to be held tighter then Rohan would practically fuse them together. He'd lower him to the bed and all but wrap around him as he covered him with kisses.

MJ: No one. Not one man or woman had ever - he must have repeated that thought a hundred times.

He hadn't given Peter a chance to.

"Just...um... If we, uh, do this...are ya gonna be rough, or...?"

Rohan: Rohan shook his head. "No, puiule. If we do, it's going to be nice and easy. I want you to be comfortable."

MJ: "How do you want me. Like this on my back?"

Rohan: "For now, yes." They could change positions later if MJ preferred or needed it. They had all the time in the world and Rohan intended to use it all. MJ deserved for his first time being with someone like this to be special, for the person he chose to be gentle and thorough and put his pleasure and comfort above all else and Rohan was immensely honored to be that person.

"I'm going to prep you first. We'll go slow, I promise."

MJ: "Ya -Ya don't gotta - Ya ain't gotta be gentle. I mean...m'not gonna cry. Not much can hurt me, so..." A tough front, unwarranted bravery in the face of sex. He wondered...if Peter would be this caring. He wondered if Fletcher Goodman had been careful with him.

Rohan deserved better.

"Are ya sure ya want me? Are ya sure - Why me? I'm trash."

Rohan: "I'm sure, puiule," Rohan murmured, pulling MJ into a kiss and pouring himself into it. It was far more eloquent than anything he could ever say.

You're the farthest thing from trash there is. You're good. You're beautiful. You mean the world to me and I want you so much.

MJ: Naked and vulnerable, MJ involuntarily mewled into their kiss. Safe, he chanted. He was safe here. This man loved him. This man...

He kissed his jaw and fiddled with the witch's hair.

"If we're a thing, are - Ya won't...ever...cheat, will ya? Just be honest. I can take it." He couldn't.

Rohan: That was the sweetest sound he'd ever heard his vampire make and it made every single fiber of Rohan's being clench with feeling.

He nuzzled MJ's cheek, kissed it. "Never. I'm yours, MJ. Only yours."

MJ: He'd told Peter to move on, so it hadn't been cheating.

No, he'd come back. Peter had every opportunity to tell him. He hadn't. He lied.

He deserved it for having Victoria inside him.

When had his eyes glazed pink with tears he couldn't say. He didn't realize.

"Promise?"

Rohan: More kisses were placed on MJ's lips, his face, his hair. It broke Rohan's heart to see him cry.

"On my life."

MJ: MJ covered his face when he realized what had happened. A soft growl of frustration followed.

"Sorry." Man the fuck up.

Rohan: "Don't apologize." So many more kisses, for distraction and affection and everything in between.

MJ: "You're too sweet," he grumbled.

Rohan: He smiled against MJ's skin. "No such thing when it comes to you."

MJ: "See! There ya go again!"

Rohan: Rohan would simply continue to smile and lavish affection on MJ every which way he possibly could.

MJ: "Stooooop," he whined, laughing a moment later.

Rohan: Ah, there it was! That lovely laugh he didn't get to hear nearly enough of.

He finally lifted his head, smile triumphant. "Stop? As you wish! My kisses will be locked away!"

MJ: "Good." No, no not good at all. Now it was his turn to lovingly assault his beautiful witch with kisses from his face to his neck to his shoulder.

Rohan: MJ would be immediately rewarded with soft, appreciative hums as Rohan melted into the affection. He'd never get his fill of those lips and those kisses. They were just too perfect, and the only way he could think to communicate that was sneaking in some more affection of his own. MJ's chest was right there, after all. It would be positively criminal not to love on it.

………………………………..

MJ/Lawrence: MJ held his arms around Rohan's head and breathed him in. His shampoo, his natural scent, the subtlety of the wine cellar.

Lawrence looked over the list for what felt like the hundredth time. Things they would need. Things they would want. When they would need to see the doctor, and the pros and cons of leaving his home with Mason Atlas.

Rohan/Gina: Whatever MJ did, if he was within easy reach he was going to be held tight and lavished with all the love Rohan could possibly give him.

Gina watched Lawrence stare at his paper, imagining she could see the wheels turning in his head. It was a good long time before she said, "If you look at that list any harder you're going to burn a hole in it."

Lawrence: "Hmm?" He managed to tear his eyes away to look at her.

Gina: She smiled. "Where are you?"

Lawrence: "Finances, months ahead of us." He tapped his pen over the last of his tasks. Possibly moving out of Cameron.

"I don't want you to have to see him."

Gina: "I haven't in months." She didn't have to ask who Lawrence meant. "Something tells me I'm a subject he avoids like the plague. Maybe even more so now."

Lawrence: "Mason doesn't hate you."

Gina: Gina gave him a disbelieving look.

Lawrence: "He has no reason to. You didn't influence Callum. With you or not that man doesn't care about me."

Gina: She reached for Lawrence's hand and held it to her cheek. "That's his loss. You're wonderful. Possibly the most wonderful human being ever."

Lawrence: Her fiancé smiled. "You're just putting a daisy chain on the truth."

Gina: "No daisy chains. Just the truth." She kissed his palm. "What else is on your list?"

Lawrence: "I need to rethink and...or...expand my career. I want to be on the right foot for this."

Gina: Gina smiled. He really was the most wonderful man she'd ever met.

"You already are. Tell me what you're thinking. Your career has to be a source of happiness. Or it should be anyway."

Lawrence: "Notary is Mason's job, his life, a source of satisfaction. It's not difficult to maintain, but I'm not also a contract demon. I love...domestic work."

Gina: She considered for a moment. "Could I run something by you? If it's too weird you can absolutely say no."

Lawrence: He gestured for her to continue, sitting back in his chair.

Gina: "What if you worked at the inn? Supervising the cleaning staff?"

Lawrence: "Is that - Is that something you actually want?"

Gina: "I've been thinking about it for a while. I just didn't know if you would like the idea or think it was too weird but....I would love it if we ran the inn together. It's going to be our inn now. Not just mine."

Lawrence: "I don't want you to feel obligated or compelled to share with me. I don't want to take away your independence. This is yours and I don't want you to write me in any documentation."

Gina: "I don't and you aren't. I own a business and a home and a car, my independence is well established." She leaned over to kiss him. "I'm offering because I want to."

Lawrence: "So... you want me to be the housekeeping manager? And who is right now?"

Gina: "Would you be interested? Mary-Beth Carter is right now, but she gave notice nearly two weeks ago since she got a new job in Kitty Hawk."

Lawrence: "She moved? Where has my mind been..."

Gina: "Not properly. She's been moving slowly over the past few weeks instead of doing it all at once."

Lawrence: He resisted the urge to ask if she needed assistance. With a child on the way, such good will would have to take a backseat. To an extent.

"...Alright. Yes, then. But if and when you're done with me, say so."

Gina: "Yay!" Gina gave him another kiss and squeezed him tight. "I could never be done with a man who attacks a dirty oven with the white-hot passion of a thousand suns."

Lawrence: To that he actually laughed. "To think I found a woman with as much passion for cleaning as I have."

Gina: "It's so satisfying!" she chuckled. "And dinner's more fun when we have dance parties with the kitchen clean up afterward."

Lawrence: "We're an 80’s movie about coming of age."

Gina: "We are. All we need is ridiculous hair and denim jackets."

Lawrence: "I'll have you know denim jackets are cool."

Gina: She chuckled again. "Sweetie, you might be the only person who can pull one off."

Lawrence: "And men with long hair, with tassels on the sleeves."

Gina: "You could pull of those too. And aviator sunglasses and saying 'bitchin' every other sentence."

Lawrence: "What kind of image have you made of me?"

Gina: "It's forming as we speak," she laughed. "We should have 80's themed costumes for Halloween."

Lawrence: "What will you be?"

Gina: "Madonna."

Lawrence: "Pointy breasts and everything?"

Gina: She laughed. "Yep! Although by that point it'll be a little difficult to pull it off."

Lawrence: "A pregnant Madonna. You'll be fine!"

Gina: "That's one word for it," she said with another laugh. "You know, I bet there really is a maternity size Madonna costume that exists."

Lawrence: "You could be a victim from the Alien films, too."

Gina: "Ooh, I could! Or Ripley!"

Lawrence: "The best part of being pregnant is going to be Halloween, isn't it?" he laughed.

Gina: Gina grinned. "Absolutely. I get to eat all the chocolate I want!"

Lawrence: "How..." He shouldn't be shy about the subject, but he was. "...How many complications did you experience the first time?"

Gina: It was understandable, considering her history. She squeezed his hand. "None with my actual pregnancy. I had anemia but so did my mama when she was pregnant with me."

Lawrence: "Anemia. What - What does that entail while pregnant?"

Gina: "It basically means I'm not producing enough healthy red blood cells for me and the baby, so my doctor had me take iron tablets and vitamin B12."

Lawrence: Nodding, the pad and pen were take once more to write what she said.

Gina: "Oh, also folic acid and ginger since I had pretty severe morning sickness which was partially what caused the anemia."

Lawrence: "I'll look into pregnant friendly foods with the highest iron content. Probably dark leafy greens."

Gina: She smiled. "Yep, that's what I ate. All I wanted was spinach salad with strawberries. And lobster rolls."

Lawrence: "You can have lobster?"

Gina: "Yep, in moderation."

Lawrence: "I feel...like being alive for a lifetime could have come in handy at this time."

Gina: "Pregnancy is a weird and complicated topic. Even people who have been alive for a lifetime have plenty to learn."

Lawrence: "Is that...Does that bother you any?"

Gina: Gina shook her head. "Not one bit. There was a lot I didn't learn before that I'm excited to learn with you. Not just about pregnancy but raising a baby, too."

Lawrence: "And...what about other things? Things like what I am and behind the veil?"

Gina: She shook her head again. "What you are has never bothered me, the things beyond the veil don't bother me. All that matters to me is that we're together and we love each other and that we communicate. I always want us to be able to communicate."

Lawrence: "I understand that you were taken aback by my big reveal, but you don't miss what I was? Is this," his face to which he gestured, "actually alright?"

Gina: Her face softened as she smiled. "This," she said, lifting a hand to his face, "is absolutely beautiful. You look different but you're still you. You still /feel/ like you. My Lawrence."

Lawrence: Lawrence softly blinked, stunned by her positivity and acceptance. This woman gave more than his own - no. He didn't want that thought like a plague rotting his future. If he did, he knew he'd also think of her own, wherever her soulmate was.

"I'm robbing someone of you."

Gina: "I really don't think you are. Call it a gut feeling."

Lawrence: "You're just saying that, Ginnie."

Gina: "If I didn't believe it, maybe. But I do believe it. I don't think I have a supposed soulmate out there. I believe you're it for me. You're the love of my life, the father of our child, and soon my husband."

Lawrence: "I wish I had your kind of belief. It's beautiful, like faith."

Gina: She smiled, kissing his knuckles. "Maybe one day you'll have it, too. Babies bring faith and belief."

Lawrence: "I'm going to be a father," he mused. Smile slowly returned to light his features. "I want to forget - forget why I exist and give myself a new reason. You."

Gina: "Yeah, you are." More kisses were given to his hand and then his face. She was so very grateful he existed. "Not just me anymore, sweetheart." She placed his hand over her belly again. "Don't forget little name-to-come."

……………………………………………

Q: Q felt his pocket for the second time as he wound the sidewalk leading up to the apartments. He hadn't expected to see his Tracker under his personal carport. They had real chemistry, and his expectations for their budding relationship was high. High enough to offer his own body for their mutual pleasure. Who knew? Maybe Tane would realize he would never find true love with a prostitute. He would have to wait and see.

Tane/Luke: The trip to his house and then to Q's wasn't nearly as awkward as Luke had (briefly) been afraid it was going to be. They made small talk, Luke gave Tane a tour of the first floor of Pete's house, he introduced him to Midas. All with only a couple of moments of silence. Definitely something to be proud of.

When Q entered his apartment, he'd find Tane dutifully playing sous chef while Luke prepped their meal. Luke was blushing something fierce and Tane had a distinctly amused look on his face that Q was sure to recognize as the one he wore when saying random and scandalous things to make someone laugh.

Q: Q had quietly shut the door behind himself. Not wanting to surprise, but wanting to have a better study of the two without their notice. This was Tane and Luke without his influence, and he liked what he saw.

"Whatever he said, it's probably true."

Tane: Tane looked over when he heard Q's voice, grin still in place. "It is. I'm telling him about that really really drunk lady at that bachelorette party who hit on both of us, Stacey, some random girl, and then the boss. Remember, she was yelling everything she wanted us to do and thought she was whispering?"

Q: "Ah, yeah. I've never seen her since. I think she's too embarrassed to ever show her face again."

Luke: "I would be too," Luke muttered, trying to compose himself. "I'd probably never leave my house again."

Q: "Don't say shit like that. I will come up with horrific ways to embarrass you in public. I'll fall to my knees and kiss your ass."

Luke: "I'll spontaneously combust. You wouldn't make me spontaneously combust."

Q: "I will if the spirit grabs me," he grinned.

Luke: Have a puppy dog look.

Q: He would have it, and he would dare kiss those lips in front of Tane. Soft, slow, deliberate. What would Tane think? feel?

"Just like that," he purred. "The spirit grabbed me."

Tane/Luke: The spirit had made Luke's entire face and probably his body go bright red and immediately burrow into the crook of Q's neck to hide. From the embarrassment? From Tane? Who knew.

But if Luke was worried about Tane, he needn't have been. The reaction to that kiss had to be one of the sweetest, most intimate things he'd ever witnessed, and he felt strangely...moved by it.

Q: Arms wound their way around Luke's shoulders, swaying him in an effort to coax a laugh or smile. He turned them just so to lay eyes on the bouncer, locking eyes with an interest in his thoughts and compulsions.

Tane/Luke: Q succeeded. It wasn't a laugh, but Q would definitely be able to feel a smile against his skin.

Tane was looking on with a soft smile, one that just got softer when he met Q's gaze. What he was seeing there was a lot of trust from Luke. Trust that he would be able to hide against Q, that Q would hold him and make him feel safe. It was beautiful to see. So much so that a part of him wondered what it would be like to experience it for himself.

But he and Luke weren't there yet. Developing that trust took time and they'd only just met.

Q: Trust was part of his job. It had been since his first hundred dollars. Trust to be clean, appropriate, skilled, the perfect pseudo boyfriend. But Luke was more than a client. He had been since before the checks stopped flowing. He didn't know what to call them.

"So," he whispered, "dinner, yeah? You're teaching him how to be a proper chef?"

Luke: Luke nodded. It was so tempting to just stay snuggled against Q; it was by far his favorite place to be.

"Yeah. He's a decent chef already."

Q: "Is he now?" he chuckled. "He sure fooled me."

Tane: "Hey," said Tane. "I'm an excellent sous chef and part time chef."

Q: "What have you ever made me besides breakfast?"

Tane: "Shrimp, in many ways. Sometimes with rice."

Q: "Your Hawaiian is showing."

Luke: Ah, what was that? A giggle from a certain lawyer who had yet to emerge from hiding?

Q: Oh, that noise. He wanted more of it. He would take it by loving force, tickling at his ribs without mercy.

"What was that noise? Did that come outta here?"

Tane/Luke: Luke was helpless to stop the flood of giggles caused by such a loving assault, or to keep from squirming in a half-hearted effort to get away.

Just like Tane was helpless to stop the smile from splitting his face in half. It was official. Luke Graham was the most adorable lawyer in the world.

Q: Once Luke seemed too exhausted to resist, he was lifted into his arms by his ass. He loved hearing this man laugh. He loved being the cause just as much.

"No room on the counter for you. Guess you're trapped in my arms."

Tane/Luke: Luke all but wrapped himself around Q, nuzzling in even further as Tane's expression went all soft and melty again.

It wasn't just trust that Luke had with Q; it was complete trust. Luke could relax and be vulnerable and maybe even forget Tane was there because he knew Q wouldn't drop him.

"Guess I am," Luke said happily.

Q: Luke would hear a soft chuckle in his ear, followed by a trail of kisses down his neck. Precious man. He needed to be protected for when he'd no longer be around. Hence Tane Lukela.

Time to give the neglected Tane some attention.

"What stage are you guys on? Need help, Big T?"

Tane: Tane tore his mind away from the sweetness that was Luke and smiled at Q.

"We're nearing the end. Need to get a grill pan going and marinate the fish."

Q: "You'll be the first to use any of that stuff. You know what I eat on the daily."

Tane: "Yes I do. You and Logan are on the same level cooking wise."

The grill pan was placed on the stove before he went to grab the fish from the fridge.

Q: "I beg to differ. She can actually bake. I make smoothies."

Tane: "That's still amazing to me. We both watched her make a full fledged baked Alaska and burn pasta in the same day."

Q: "She's quite the catch." Just like the man in his arms. He deserved another kiss and sweet nothings whispered in his ear.

Tane/Luke: "Yes she is." He looked over in time to see the affectionate exchange and it made him smile once more.

Luke had braved enough to return Q's kisses, albeit in a much more demure way than he usually would. There was a big part of him that wanted to say screw food and just stay right where he was, but that would be rude.

Q: "So, before...you agreed with something Big T said. Do you remember what that was?"

Luke: Luke's blush returned as he nodded.

Q: "Why don't you tell me."

Luke: He would, but he'd whisper it very softly, so only Q would be able to hear.

"That your ass is biteable."

Q: "Do you want to see that?"

Luke: A moment. A pause. And another nod.

Q: Eyes never left the man in his arms. "T, you want to show Luke what it's like to bite my ass?"

Tane: Tane could practically sense Luke burrowing again without even having to turn around.

"You know," he began, tone light and gentle, "I really think I would."

Q: "Might want to turn the stove down, then."

Luke was gently tossed onto the touch, and the man he enjoyed calling boyfriend turned back to the kitchen and placed his hands on the fridge.

"All yours," he purred.

Tane/Luke: The sudden absence of Q's warmth left Luke feeling cold enough to want to protest, and had it not been for the anticipation of what he was about to see, he would have. As it was, he'd keep himself warm and give himself a hiding place using one of the couch pillows, because apparently Tane's presence was enough to make him as shy as when he...nope. He'd never been this shy. Ever. This was a first for him, one of many he suspected would come today.

Tane chuckled and turned the pan all the way to low. "Just like that, huh? No ceremony or anything. Right to the point." Have a chaste kiss to your shoulder.

Q: Q knew what Tane was going to do. At least he assumed, going off of every other time he'd played the same game with him before. What he knew for certain was Tane's lips against him, clothed or unclothed, was both soothing and arousing. He could calm his mind and divert his thoughts, but instead allowed himself to bask in the attention and his own selfish erection. This was what Luke wanted to see, after all.

"Slow," was his command. "Give baby a show." Much like his own, trailing his hands to the top of the fridge, allowing full access to his ass.

Tane: Oh, Tane could do slow. Tane loved slow. It gave him time to lavish and explore at his leisure, and now it would also offer Luke a very special show.

Starting at the back of his neck, Tane kissed his way down Q's body, letting his hands trail ahead of his lips and stopping when he hit the small of his bartender's back. Only then did Tane lift up Q's shirt, finally kissing bare skin as he slooooowly inched his pants just far down enough to expose that beautiful ass of his.

Q: His ass so exposed for Luke's viewing pleasure was exactly what he had expected. This had to be a positive experience for his favorite lawyer. He wanted him to enjoy every moan of pleasure and approval. Bare skin needed to be admired by both men. His shirt was tossed aside, offering a better view of his lithe willing body. Sun kissed skin warm and inviting. Almost everywhere. The subject matter at heart was still very much pale.

Tane/Luke: Luke wasn't sure how he was feeling about all this--there was a lot going on in his head at the moment--but so far...this was a very positive experience. He didn't feel weird or jealous seeing Tane with Q, like he was afraid he would, but there was still a lot of shyness and vulnerability he had to work through. No matter how enjoyable it was to experience, he simply wasn't used to being in an intimate situation like with anyone other than Q. Sure he'd had his share of boyfriends but Q was different.

A fact that was obvious to Tane, who was making sure not to move too suddenly or look at Luke directly for fear of embarrassing him further or making him feel uncomfortable. He wasn't only being gentle with Q; he was being gentle with Luke now, too. This would be a show, but it would be a gentle, loving show.

As gentle and loving as the series of open-mouthed kisses and teasing nips he placed all over that beautiful pale skin, watching Luke's reaction out of the corner of his eye.

Q: Q remained as still as he could, allowing his approval to show with soft hums and dips and turns of his head. If he focused, he wouldn't have to submit to arousal.

"What do you want to see now, Luke?"

Tane/Luke: Ah, but they hadn't gotten to their main event yet. The thing that had piqued Luke's curiosity and landed them here.

Before Luke could try to respond, Tane gave him a wink and gave a playful little bite to Q's ass.

Q: "Ahn!" Nails lightly scraped over the stainless steel fridge. A laugh quickly followed. "Goddammit. Ya got me."

Tane: "Oh yes I did," Tane chuckled warmly, pressing a kiss to the same spot to soothe. "Lulled you and your ass into a false sense of security."

Q: "Neither of you will gain access to this temple." Another little something for Luke.

Tane: "Promises, promises." Another playful bite and Q's pants were set to rights.

Q: And it was back to their cooking, playing it smooth for Luke's sake.

"How was that?" he asked the man on the couch.

Tane/Luke: Luke would've responded, but he was busy blushing and trying to gather himself.

Surely the look in his eyes would answer for him; it had been a very pleasant sight.

Q: "I think we broke him," he whispered.

Tane: Tane smiled to himself. "Maybe just a little. Better go kiss him back to life."

Q: Then his spoon was set aside. He joined him on the couch and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

Luke: Luke immediately leaned into Q. "Hi," he murmured softly.

Q: "Are you alright, baby?"

Luke: He nodded, offered Q a shy little smile. "Better than."

Q: "Good." A kiss to his cheek, his temple, and his hand.

Luke: The smile got brighter. "We should go to the beach. Get some sun."

Q: "Today? Tomorrow?"

Luke: "Soon. I know all the good beaches without any tourists. Completely private."

Q: "So you're saying a nude beach," he grinned.

Luke: "Not officially but yes," Luke chuckled.

Q: "Is...Tane invited?"

Luke: He glanced over to where Tane had resumed dinner prep and nodded. "Yes. He is."

Q: "So you're alright with Tane?" he quietly asked.

Luke: Another nod. "Yeah, I think I am," he said just as softly. He's a lot like you."

Q: "Twice the fun," he smiled.

Luke: "And twice the handsome. I might swoon."

Q: "Swoon, will you?" He kissed his neck again. "What a romantic notion."

Luke: "Yep, maybe more than once." He hummed softly at the kiss, nuzzling him. His blush had started to fade in the face of such lovely affection.

"What can I say, you bring out the romantic in me."

Q: "You understand why I want Tane here?" The apartment was small. He expected the bouncer to hear every word. That was somewhat the point. What was more critical was Luke's understanding.

Tane/Luke: Tane did, but he didn't plan to interrupt unless he was spoken to directly. This was a moment Luke needed to have with Q.

And to that end, Luke tried to speak as softly as possible. "Kind of?"

Q: "I won't always be in Edenton," he continued on just as gently. "I want you to have another friend. And...maybe more."

Luke: "What do you mean you won't always be in Edenton?" Was Q leaving?

Q: "Someday I am going to move. I love this place," and he paused, allowing Luke to fill in the blank, "but it's not my forever home."

Luke: His gaze fell to his lap. That sounded too much like he was never going to see Q again and Luke didn't like it. He didn't even live in Edenton full time himself but something about 'it's not my forever home' sounded too much like....

Q: "Baby? Talk to me." That silence was much too long.

Luke: Luke shook his head. "It's nothing." He didn't want to think about Dana. That was for nights at his condo when he was alone and couldn't sleep.

Q: The very thought which had Q pressing his forehead against his neck, breathing him in.

"Why are you here?"

Luke: He reached for Q's hand, suddenly in need of the comfort it provided. "To spend time with you," he whispered. "To get to know Tane. To have dinner."

Q: Q took his hand and kissed each finger.

"Is knowing Tane like you do me going to make you happy?"

Luke: He smiled and leaned against Q. "Time will tell, but I hope so."

Q: "Good. Mind if I kiss you?"

Luke: "I don't mind one bit."

Q:  Now for another question.

"Will you mind?" he asked the man in the kitchen.

Tane: The man in the kitchen simply smiled and shook his head. "Not one bit," he echoed.

Q: A temptation crept into his chest like every sexual inkling. Would he mind kissing Luke? He bit his lip and considered, but thought better of it. Instead turning back to his favorite lawyer for his lips.

Tane/Luke: Tane wouldn't mind at all, but it was probably too soon. They'd have to ease Luke into it, help him feel comfortable and safe.

And nothing could do that better than Q's kisses.

Luke hummed softly, melting against his pretend boyfriend, aware of Tane's presence but feeling at ease.

Q: Easing Luke probably didn't mean placing his hand between his legs. It probably didn't mean squeezing, gently biting his throat, humming against his skin knowing what it would do to him.

Luke: It probably didn't, but that didn't mean Luke wouldn't react to the touch.

His breath caught in his throat as his thighs closed around Q's hand. He wouldn't let the moan building in his chest escape.

Q: "Do you want me to stop?" he whispered.

Luke: Luke shook his head.

Q: Then he would continue to squeeze.

"Tell me when to stop." He would unzip him if allowed, though his hand would not dip on the other side just yet. He wanted to gauge his reaction. Luke's security was his number one concern.

Tane/Luke: Tane had stopped mid-chop to watch the scene unfolding on the couch, eyes alight with quiet but very focused interest. He could tell Luke was holding back some, which wasn't a surprise at all, but what he wasn't holding back? Now that was a beautiful sight to behold.

Luke was clinging to Q, hiding his face against the bartender's neck. His lower half was starting to give jerky little movements, clearly aching for more but again, holding himself back.

Q: Squeeze after squeeze without relief. He wanted to torture, just enough to coax a beautiful sound from his companion. Give me something more, his fingers commanded, his lips plead, nuzzling in order to capture that perfect mouth.

Tane/Luke: It was the kiss that did him in. He never could resist those wonderful lips, much less control his reaction to them. Especially not when they were paired with those fingers.

The softest, sweetest little whimper finally managed to escape him, making him hide more at the same moment Tane felt a shock of lust go straight to his groin.

Q: Q's smile would have hurt had he allowed it in full. He had suspected such gentle and submissive noises from this man. Opposite of his brawny and hirsute body. Now there was a witness, a willing audience. Despite his assumption, it had not prepared his body for its reaction.

That cock belonged in his mouth. He asked permission in his ear, and kissed it.

Tane/Luke: Permission was given with another soft whimper. His body's need was successfully trumping his shyness, although not entirely. Absent Q's neck, Luke would be hiding his face in the couch pillow again.

Meanwhile, Tane had given up on cooking entirely in favor of watching the two men on the couch. His hands were itching to touch but he didn't dare approach. This situation was still so new and fragile.

Q: Slowly, with the same attentiveness as Tane, Q dropped to his knees. No sudden movements. His shirt was raised. Open mouth kisses and tongue across and around his navel.

Luke: Luke clung to the pillow like a man clinging to a life preserver. Behind it, his face was bright red and his breathing was quickening. It was just now hitting him that Q wouldn't be the only person seeing...well. A tiny part of his brain wondered what Tane would think. Of him, of this situation, of his reactions. What if he didn't like--

The potential litany of 'what if's' was cut off by Q's wandering mouth.

Luke's breath hitched, hips moving in an attempt to follow the affection. More. He wanted more.

Q: His gaze quickly turned to Tane, questioning his appeal. His crotch was studied and admired.

Flesh was softly bitten. Nudity was the logic in which to follow. But first, "Luke. Look at me. Tell me if this is okay."

Tane/Luke: The appeal and Tane's response to it was written all over his face and reflected in his eyes and his stance. All of his attention was on Luke and on the erection nestled against the soft looking blond hair on his abdomen. He wanted to touch so badly. Would Q be able to tell? Would Luke?

It took a few long seconds, but eventually the pillow lowered just enough for Luke to be able to peer over the top. He could feel Tane's gaze even without meeting it.

He nodded. "It's okay," he whispered.

Q: Wasn't he just beautiful, Tane? That golden hair and sun kissed skin from his weekends of soccer. His shyness, his masculinity, his femininity. He was just so fuckable.

The approval given, he smiled, kissed his stomach one more. "I'm going to undress you now. Want to undress me? Take my shirt off."

Tane/Luke: Absolutely beautiful, and all the more so because he strongly suspected Luke had no idea.

Luke whimpered softly again, burrowing his face against the pillow once more. Just for a little while though. The thought of being able to feel Q's bare skin against his was too appealing to pass up.

Very carefully, the pillow was set aside and the hem of Q's shirt grabbed. Up and over his head it went.

Q: Good. That's exactly what he wanted to see. He raised his arms and chuckled, allowing Luke to keep the garment if he wanted to.

"You're so fucking edible," he teased, nipping softly at his stomach (again) before giving the same treatment.

Luke: Oh, he was keeping it. It was soft and smelled like Q and that was even more comforting than having a pillow to hide his face with.

Ah ha, Q finally managed to get a teeny little smile from Luke! "Edible?" he asked quietly, feeling all warm and glowy and squirmy inside when Q gave more affection to his stomach.

Q: "Mhm. I'm gonna just eat you up, Mr. Graham." Starting with those lips. His tongue offered only a heartbeat into their touch.

Luke: There was a soft chuckle that turned into a soft, dreamy sigh at the kiss. If Q's shirt was a comfort, then his kisses were where Luke felt most at ease, most relaxed, most free to be himself and enjoy.

He let go of Q's shirt in favor of clinging to the man himself, wrapping his arms around his pretend boyfriend's neck to bring him closer.

"Promise?" Luke whispered.

Q: Those needy arms did things to him. This man had been one of his favorite clients. He would become a fond memory when the time came.

Those warm arms were kissed, followed again by his lips.

"I promise I'll eat you nice and slow."

Luke: Shy, embarrassed Luke seemed to be dissipating with every new kiss, allowing more and more of smiley, loving, needy Luke to shine through who hummed into every kiss and made a tiny noise of protest if Q's lips moved away for any reason.

"And you'll give me all the kisses?"

Q: "Every single kiss you want from me."

It was time to remove every article of clothing between them. His pacing was no longer slow and mindful. He felt confident in himself and Luke to move forward, to relax and trust Luke's response to Tane's gaze.

Tane/Luke: "I want a million," he said, smiling so brightly Tane felt his heart clench across the room.

He felt like he was walking a fine line between appreciating the sight of Q rapidly undressing Luke and making him uncomfortable, but from the looks of things he was successfully staying on the appreciation side. He might've even taken a step or two closer.

It was all he could do to keep himself from heading directly to the couch to see if that chest hair was as soft as it looked.

For Luke's part, he was helping Q undress him and returning the favor, resuming his clinging the moment they were both completely bare. And that lovely neck? Well it had gone far too long without some affection. As had those shoulders. And that chest.

Q: Q closed his eyes and allowed Luke to seduce him. His body was warm with life and appropriately turgid. He leaned closer to whisper his proposal.

"Do you want to make love to me? Do you want to watch Tane's hands on me?"

Tane/Luke: The proposal may have been whispered, but Luke's reaction was more akin to it having been shouted. They'd only switched roles once or twice before, and it had never been in a situation quite like this.

Still, the idea of loving on Q and watching someone else do the same.....it had an appeal that made his heart race.

He looked from Q to Tane's stunned face and nodded very slowly.

Q: Q didn't want to put Luke in a position so vulnerable as to be the submissive in Tane's presence. It was a choice he made, but one Luke could refuse if he wanted, which was why it had been a question. He was mindful of those wide eyes and what they were truly saying.

"Yes to both?" He wanted his answer clear.

Luke: It was a consideration Luke would be immensely grateful for later on. The fact that Q gave his comfort such priority and took such care with his trust made Luke treasure him that much more. No one had ever had a better boyfriend, real or pretend.

Another nod. "Yes to both."

Q: One more kiss, one more gentle, loving, slow kiss before turning around, exposed, to Tane Lukela.

"He wants your hands on me."

Tane/Luke: That one kiss was all it took to have Luke practically melting in Q's arms, and have Tane's heart melting along with him.

He gave a single nod before shutting off the stove and washing his hands. When he approached, he did so slowly, waiting for Luke's go ahead before closing the rest of the distance.

Q: Q watched his approach and wanted to laugh. He was so damn cautious. As cute as it was, he could bet it was appreciated by the beautiful nude man beside him.

"I think you're too clothed, but that's my opinion," he grinned.

Tane/Luke: It absolutely was; as was Q's opinion on Tane's current state. Appreciated and shared.

Tane chuckled softly. "Is it now? Then I better do something about that." Starting with his shirt. It was pulled up and over his head, tossed onto the coffee table. "Naked enough yet, gorgeous?"

Q: "You tell him when to stop, Luke. I sure enjoy the fucking view." Goddamn eye candy is what Big T was.

Tane/Luke: Eye candy was right. Luke didn't think people who looked like Tane existed in real life, yet here they were.

All it took was a glance to Tane's belt and off it came.

Tane was hyper-focused on this tiny blond lawyer, you see. Everywhere those eyes went was exposed to his view.

Shoes and socks followed the belt, then his jeans....and then his boxer briefs.

Q: Q leaned back and watched their silent exchange, marveled at their living Adonis and proceeded to touch himself with gusto. In that moment, life was completely and utterly perfect.

………………………………………………………………………

Rohan: To an onlooker, it would be astounding that Rohan managed to move so much while moving so little. MJ was being explored to both their hearts' content all without being denied the safety and comfort of Rohan's embrace.

He wanted his vampire to be delirious with pleasure, to feel nothing but a warm glow as Rohan made love to him. And this was most certainly making love.

While his lips delivered an onslaught of kisses, his hands eased and explored. Rohan wanted MJ to get accustomed to not only his touch, but being touched in all those lovely intimate places he had yet to explore and learn. The length of him was traced with feather light strokes, his sac cupped with the gentlest pressure.

MJ: The warmth of those hands was almost too much for his pale cold skin. The intimate fondling caused shivers up his spine and into his lungs. Another first.

"You're wearin' too much," he purred.

Rohan: "By all means," he whispered, peppering kisses along MJ's chest. "Feel free to rid me of all this cumbersome fabric."

MJ: With pleasure, he thought. Sitting up, he began with the belt, ripping one of the belt loops and sending it flying across the room. His short trimmed nails lightly raked over his hip. He continued with the jeans, wishing he could breathe life and celebrate being with this man the way he deserved.

"D'ya...love me?"

Rohan: Rohan laughed softly as his belt went flying, watching to make sure it didn't hit (and break) anything valuable.

The laugh was short-lived, however, soon replaced with a fond smile and appreciative hum. He adored those cool hands and the man they belonged to. Surely MJ would be able to see it in his eyes. And if he couldn't, Rohan's kisses and murmured endearments should show him.

"Yes, puiule," he whispered against his vampire's lips. "I love you." If his declaration halted things in their tracks so be it. MJ needed to hear the words.

MJ: His vampire - his? - stared up at the witch with blank expression. The expectation had been succeeded by truth. Had he breath to lose it would have vacated.

"I... You..."

Rohan: He smiled, kissed him again. "I love you, MJ." Another kiss. "I love you."

MJ: "Thanks." The realization of his reply caused a headache like cringe. "Not that. The fuck would I say that - I...I...love ya, too."

Rohan: That just made his smile grow more. It was such an MJ response, and that made his heart just as happy as the 'I love you, too'.

Rohan held MJ close, hands briefly abandoned his vampire's groin to hold him properly and drown him in kisses. This was a beautiful moment; it had to be savored. "I love you so much," he whispered.

MJ: "Alright, alright," he laughed. "Don't make it all mushy. We...We got love. So, back t'sex, right?" Oh no. Sex with...romance? Love? More emotional and tender than any night before.

"I shoulda asked after ya fucked me."

Rohan: Rohan gave him one more kiss, just to make really sure his vampire knew how much he was loved.

"Whether I said it aloud first or not, the sex would've been emotional. You would've been able to feel my love even if you didn't hear it."

MJ: "S'why I asked," he said softly. "Just had a feelin'. You're too sweet t'me, old man."

Rohan: "I'm exactly as sweet as I'm meant to be. And you, are very intuitive." Maybe just one more kiss.

"Do you still want to...?" It was fine if he didn't. There had been a lot of emotional intensity today.

MJ: One more? They would have many. "Yeah. Yeah, of course." Of course he said. What the fuck are you doing, his mind exclaimed.

Rohan: If MJ wanted many, there would be many, along with all the loving touches Rohan's two hands were capable of.

"Are you sure? We don't have to. I know it's a lot."

MJ: "If ya keep sayin' that I'll never go through with it," he laughed.

Rohan: "Nothing wrong with that, puiule," he said with a soft smile, letting his hands roam below MJ's waist again. "Promise me you'll tell me if you want me to stop or slow down." He kissed his vampire's shoulder. "Your comfort is the most important thing." A kiss to his chest as his hand gently cupped MJ's sac. "Your comfort and your pleasure."

MJ: MJ swallowed and licked his lips. Somehow he'd forgotten what that felt like. He placed his hand over Rohan's wrist. Closer. Harder.

"I'm fine. Keep doin' that."

Rohan: Rohan obligingly increased the pressure, massaging more firmly, occasionally stroking MJ's length from base to tip and back down to his scrotum.

MJ: Blood had to be willed between his legs. The act nearly took him from the scene, but the witch's lips fueled him. Softly, he hummed.

Rohan: Rohan smiled against his vampire's lips, giving him an approving and gentle squeeze.

"That's it, puiule. You're doing so well." His lips began to migrate lower. "So beautiful."

MJ: That feminine sensation again. He shivered, brought his hands to Rohan's hair and squeezed. So lucky, he thought. So unworthy. Tonight, this moment, this was for Rohan. Giving in to his nature was an indulgence.

"What d'ya wanna do t'me?"

Rohan: "Love you," Rohan said simply, kissing just below MJ's navel. Tonight his vampire was going to be positively worshipped and thoroughly pleasured.

A soft, open-mouthed kiss was placed on the tip of MJ's cock. "All of you."

MJ: Oh. More familiar. Not quite sensational, but the mere idea of Rohan's mouth against him was enough for the butterflies to flap their wings.

"Love ya, too. I wanna taste ya. Let me taste ya."

Rohan: "Of course you can," he purred, nuzzling and kissing MJ's scrotum. "Where do you want to taste, puiule?"

MJ: "Sit on my face, Ro. We can have each other."

Rohan: "Mmm, I like the sound of that." He liked it very much.

He leaned up to give MJ a proper kiss before straddling him and adjusting positions, making sure MJ was comfortable before continuing his exploration and letting his vampire explore.

MJ: His mind wandered to the first time he had ever kissed someone. To the warmth of their lips. The sloppy urgency. The fumbling hands which followed. None of which felt present tonight. Every move Rohan ever made was deliberate. He was beautiful and mature. Even now, with his body for the taking. He was brought into his mouth, tasted and played with, with two uncertain hands.

Rohan: MJ was immediately rewarded with a soft moan. It didn't matter how uncertain his hands were; Rohan loved their touch, loved his vampire's mouth's attention. And he wasn't shy about making his pleasure or his approval known, and he definitely wasn't shy about lavishing every single inch of MJ's groin with affection.

He kissed and tasted his cock and his sac and his thighs, lips gentle and thorough. "Beautiful," Rohan murmured to himself, pressing a kiss to MJ's abdomen as he petted over his entrance.

MJ: Fuck. This was Rohan Delca. He might as well be a prince, or an angel. The man was meant to be worshipped. He was so elegant and intelligent and yet somehow tolerant and patient - didn't he grow tired of being so wholesome? Somehow this man loved him. He would never deserve him.

Which was motivation in his attempt to offer himself as one of the druid's best experiences. He kissed every available inch of perfect skin and massaged firm muscle.

Oh. His legs spread submissively. More touches, please. Invade me at your will. Love me with your fingers and mouth.

Rohan: That was precisely what Rohan intended to do. The word 'beautiful' played on a loop over and over in his head as he reached for the lube and generously coated one finger, never ceasing his lavish kisses and warm little nuzzles against MJ's cock.

He petted over his vampire's entrance again with his now prepped finger, circling it slowly, getting it nice and wet before he even thought of breaching it, however slightly. At first, of course. He wanted MJ to get used to the touch and the feeling of being penetrated before he took things further. He'd work slowly and carefully, letting MJ control the pace while making sure every moment of the process was as pleasurable as possible.