#in which we are all soap

[wispscribbles]

silly mini comic

[wombywoo]

retired 🩶

[inkskinned]

love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.

love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.

love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.

love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.

maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.

recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.

[bluegiragi]

ghost gives konig a private lesson feat. soap as a very happy spectator.

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[hamletthedane]

The fact that Shakespeare implied an entire fraught backstory to Beatrice and Benedick’s relationship with only five words - I know you of old - is so genius. This play is so genius. I don’t think I’ll ever get over the cleverness and subtly of writing in Much Ado.

[ghouljams]

Part 2 of Love stabbing Ghost! Soap to the rescue.

You're at a house, it's right in the middle of a place it probably shouldn't be. Arched door and gabled roof sandwiched between two very modern and tall looking buildings. Simon knocks on it twice and waits. There's a very loud noise from inside and then a lot more loud noise before the door is yanked open. There's a man, just about Simon's height, with a Mohawk and a smile leaning against the doorframe. He looks happy to see your boyfriend.

"Ghost," he glances down at the unattended stab wound in Simon's stomach, "I see you're doing well."

"You're hilarious," Simon says, pushing past him and into the home. You don't move. Something is... stopping you. The other man smiles at you, waiting. Simon turns to look for you over his shoulder and stops. "Soap," Simon warns, but it's something else too, questioning.

Soap cocks his head at you, you've never seen a man that looks like him before. Too human. Like everything human about him has been cranked up to 11. He's not blocking you from entering the house, but he hasn't invited you in either. It would be rude to-

"She can't cross the threshold," Soap grins, his smile so wide you think you could count all his teeth. You vibrate just on the edge of something, you can feel it like a second door preventing you from crossing into his home. He nods his head at you finally, "Alright, come in. Can't have you attracting attention."

The door opens and you slide past him. Simon grabs you quickly, tipping your head this way and that to study you. He looks so concerned that you don't put up a fight. Soap ignores both of you, walking past to rummage around in his kitchen. You look around as Simon looks at you. It's a cute place, comfortable, you'd almost call it cozy. 

"How many tethers you got in her?" Soap calls, setting a white medical kit on the coffee table.

"Enough," Simon tells him, finally releasing your face. You wish he'd at least kiss you if he was going to hold onto you for so long. You must pout because he leans down to do just that, soft and sweet as he presses his lips to yours.

"Yer aff yer heid," Soap pats the couch and Simon releases you again. He strips his shirt off and sits where Soap directed with a grunt. Soap pokes at the skin around the wound and you lean over the back of the couch to want. “How’d you do this, lass?”

“Knife.” You tell him plainly. Soap snorts, Simon sighs, shooting you a warning look. “He asked me to, said ‘I want you to stab me’. So I stabbed him.” Soap gives Simon a look of concern.

“Mate your kinks are really gettin’ out of hand.”

“Didn’t think she’d do it.” Simon replies gruffly, you see him wince when Soap presses too hard too close to the edge of the wound, “Was trying to teach her about us.”

“You barely know about us.” Soap hums, grabbing a needle and thread from the med kit. You settle a hand on Simon’s shoulder as Soap starts stitching him up, squeezing to try and take some of his attention from the pain. You’re starting to get phantom pains just watching him, you can’t imagine how Simon’s so stoic about it.

“What’s your name lass?” Soap asks, and you frown.

“How’s that any of your business?” You reply, trying to memorize the way he twists sutures and snips the thread. Next time you stab Simon you should at least know how to stitch him up. Simon gives a small purr, aborted immediately when Soap pulls the last stitch tight.

“Christ you are a fucking mess, you know that?” Soap’s not talking to you, he’s talking to Simon. Looking him over, plucking at invisible threads with a frown. “How’d you-” He pulls on something and you smack his hand without thinking. Soap looks at you like you’ve grown a second head. He stands from the couch and stares the two of you down. “Simon Riley,” He says with purpose.

Simon doesn’t move, just raises a brow. Soap makes a ‘come on’ gesture and groans.

“You are fuckin’ jokin’.” He presses his hands to his face before dropping them and pointing at Simon. You’re starting to like this guy. Or maybe that’s Simon’s pleased hum through the tethers. “You-” He groans again, “I can’t believe you. Best mates for years and you don’t even- Price is going to kill you.”

“What’s happening?” You whisper ask Simon. Soap turns his annoyance on you.

“What’s happening, is you own this bastard and he didn’t even send out a wedding invite.”

“I didn’t think she’d give me her name,” Simon starts. Soap holds up a hand to cut him off.

“You are on probation, I’m not listening to you anymore, don’t talk to me.” You bite down a smile, you definitely like this guy.

[ghostroachtruther]

ghostroach idiots to lovers fluff comedy slowburn 700k words except ghost and roach drag soap and gaz into it kicking and screaming

soap has to hear EVERYDAY about how impressive roach's skills are, how calming he is to be around, how trustworthy he is as a soldier — which doesnt seem like much, but coming from ghost? thats basically him getting on his knees and kissing the ground roach walks on

meanwhile gaz gets notes passed to him hourly about how the lieutenant complimented the way roach shoots earlier that day, how him and ghost shared a really meaningful little glance during their latest mission, how he noticed that ghost's posture relaxes ever-so-slightly whenever he walks in the room. gaz always has ATLEAST 3 new sticky notes on his table whenever he walks away from it for a prolonged period of time

soap and gaz complain to each other about it CONSTANTLY, they're both so sick and tired of the painfully obvious pining the two have for each other, to the point where they've asked price to step in because it was genuinely starting to bother them (price didnt step in, saying he had "better things to worry about" when in reality he just wants to see how long it would take for roach and ghost to get together on their own)

they keep trying to push them to go on a date but it never works out because ghost will say "i dont see gary that way, johnny" (yes, he does.) meanwhile roach will say "i'm probably just fooling myself, simon could never view me romantically" (yes, he can.)

at this point gaz and soap have completely given up and just listen to their assigned in-love idiot talk about the other in-love idiot with a scowl on their face

[sophiethewitch1]

has anyone thought about the 141 as the horsemen of the apocalypse or are my horny thoughts so incredibly niche i must suffer them on my own

[kirby-the-gorb]

[toomanywordsnllines]

Ghost and Roach being the type of best friends that do things like cuddling, laying on top of each other, going to each other's rooms and sometimes sleeping there, anoying each other constantly, sometimes even (more roach) giving kisses in the cheek and forehead (sometimes as a way to annoy but mostly as affection) and just being extremely close together but all very, platonically (maybe some people think they have a thing going on but no they don't, they are just best friends and have know each other for very long)

And then Soap comes

And kinda starts doing the same thing (after getting closer to Ghost) Roach and Ghost already do

And for sometime everyone is like 'Oh, this is normal, they're close friends too...'

Not Roach tho. Roach clocked those two dumbasses with the 🤨 stare the first time he saw them cuddling.

So one day he comes up to Ghost and is like: 'So you like Soap.'

Ghost: No, I don't???

Roach: 🧐 you cuddle with him.

Ghost: We do the same!

Roach: Yeah but you look stupid while doing it.

Ghost: No, I don't.

Roach: 🧐🤨

Ghost: ...

Ghost: okay maybe I do like him a little but-

Roach: 😏

Ghost: I'll kill you

All I'm saying is that Roach and Ghost are besties and AS THE BEST FRIEND Roach has the job to call the bullshit when he sees it

[atopvisenyashill]

are there any of those daily x blogs for dunk & egg? i follow like a northernsource blog and a dornedaily blog, i think i follow a few others, but i feel like there’s never enough dunk & egg on my dash and i’m trying to fix this terrible mistake!!

[rosehathawhey]

NEPO BABY BRAT: A Thomas Forrester Series

[s0fter-sin]

the thing that gets me about the, "oh it's quick bc it's war, it's more realistic," defence for soap's death is 09 ghost's and roach's deaths were abrupt as well but they were still treated with dignity

ghost screams for roach and tries to kill shepherd before he’s killed. we the player get to sit and watch with a dying roach

roach tries one last time to get the dsm even though it’s hopeless. we see the way they throw ghost's body, the rising dread as they spread the fuel. the hatred for shepherd drags out when he flicks the cigar and lights it and the screen slowly darkens, music swelling as he gets away with it and roach finally dies as well

we hear price scream through the comms and the devastating realisation hits that if he'd called just a little earlier, they might have lived

that is how you do an abrupt but dignified death that respects the audience

mw3 is how you throw together a rushed and disjointed climax and hope people swallow it

[wrenhavenriver]

was at walgreens with my mom and when we passed by their seasonal shelf i went "maybe i should continue the yearly tradition of buying more kitschy nightmare before christmas stuff that you secretly hate?" and she very calmly said "or we could just buy dish soap"

[aeide-thea]

i keep thinking lately 'what if we washed each other very playfully and tenderly (and we were both queer)'