#incorrect batfamily

[avensartt]

I drew @an-entity-i-think 's post

[cardinalcheerio]

I imagine that the Batkids go out for food every once in a while.

So there they are all sitting at the restaurant, when dick goes to pay and accidentally uses one of Bruce's cards.

They get back to the cave to bruce freaking out, everyone is like "IDENTITY BREACH AHHHHH" y'know.

And the next day a paper comes out, "Bats steal Brucies Credit Card!"

From then on they use Bruce's cards for snacks in the field and gotham just accepts that

1. Bruce funds the Bats

2. They take it from him

3. Bruce and Batman dated and Batman stole his credit cards and gave them to his kids.

[bat-stuff]

Diana: So how’s the new Robin doing?

Bruce: oh? Uh yeah he’s alright

Meanwhile back at the manor:

Alfred: Master Timothy, the weather is lovely outside-

Tim: just a minute Alfred…Does Bruce know that the woman he met at the gala last night is Oliver Queen’s third cousin’s wife’s sister-

Alfred, who just wants Tim to go outside: I’m sure he-what?

[sistertotheknowitall]

Dick: would 14 year old you be proud of you?

Jason: I’m not here to impress a traumatized child.

[dead-sane-stuff]

* Damian telling some story*

Jason: That is such bullshit

Damian: NO IT IS NOT

Y/n: Jason, if Damian says it's true then who are we to believe otherwise

Jason: Oh Okay, but no one believes me when I say I beat the last level of Mortal Kombat.

Y/n: Because that's just ridiculous Jason, no one beats Sub-Zero or Kronika

[raphael-angele]

The Board

Damian, coming home from school woth paper in hand: AKHI! AKHI! LOOK! LOOK! LOOK! LOOK! *Shows paper*

Jason, looking at the paper: What's this?

Damian: I got an A+ on my book report!

Jason: Aww, habibi. That's amazing, I'm proud of you. This is going right up the board

Damian: Yaaay!

---

Duke, coming home from school: JASON! *bursts into Jason's room*

Jason: What's up?

Duke: You'll never guess what happened in school today

Jason: Tell me

Duke: In Literature class, our final semester project was to perform a play

Jason, excited: And??!?

Duke, shows paper: I GOT THE LEAD!!!!

Jason: AAAAAAAHHH!!!! *fangirling*

Duke: AAAAAAAHHH!!!! *also fangirling*

Jason: *takes paper and puts it on the board then hugs Duke* AWWW YEAAAH! CONGRATULATIONS, BUDDY!

---

Dick: Here you go, Jason. *Gives picture*

Jason: What's this?

Dick: Evidence. I killed someone and hid the body

Jason: So?

Dick: It was a guy selling kids

Jason: I'll be sure to put it on the board

---

Tim: I just punched a guy

Jason: And?

Tim: He was being homophobic to me and Bernard and Kon

Jason: You got a picture?

Tim: No, but I knocked out 2 teeth and put it in this small ziplock *gives ziplock with teeth*

Jason: Oooooh. Great job, Timmy. Never thought I'd be prouder of you.

[rube-too-many-fandoms]

[Dick is showing Tim, Duke, Steph and Barbara a video on his phone]

Steph: OH MY GOD-

Tim: I can’t believe he actually—

*Jason walks in*

Jason: What’s everybody laughing about?

Steph: Nothing! So much nothing. No one did anything

Jason: -_- What is it?

Duke: Nothing, like Steph said. Totally nothing.

Jason: …right. Tim, you’re too sleep deprived to lie, what’s going on?

Dick: Tim, nO—

Tim: Dick took a video of you last night drunk at a karaoke bar singing Only the Good Die Young by Billy Joel.

Jason: Oh! I finally did it! I’ve been wanting to do that for a while. Hell yeah, nice job me. *self-five*

Steph: Did he just high-five himself???

Jason: *wandering away for coffee* Damn this hangover is such a bitch.

Barbara: …All of you are idiots.

(edit) bonus:

Jason: *pouring coffee, lazily singing to the tune of Piano Man by Billy Joel* Only the good die piano man…sing us a good die young…

[incorrectbatfamandfriends]

Dick: You leaked top secret government documents to the press!?

Barbara: You said I should do something fun with my night off, I don’t see the issue.

[blinday]

Bruce: So, how did you two met?

Damian: She stole my heart in the lazarus tournament.

Dick: Awww that's so cut-

Damian: Literally.

Dick:

Bruce:

Damian: So I did the same.

Dick:

Bruce:

Damian: Metaphorically.

Jason: *wheezing*

[damianwayne0]

Bruce: Damian,half of the league wants you dead !

Damian: Wow , A month ago it was the whole league , things are looking up.

[avensartt]

Sorry the quality is shit

[cardinalcheerio]

Half the time I'm like, "can we have jason todd media not all about his death"?

Then I realize. If I died I would never shut up about it.

"Can you get up and grab that for me?"- absolutely not. My legs are tired from death.

"Will you go to the store with me?"- leaving the house?!? What if I die AGAIN.

So yeah, anyone who thinks jason talks about his death too much. Be honest. We'd all do the exact same thing.

[bat-stuff]

Journalist talking to Bruce at a Gala:

Journalist: And your son, Richard, he seems like a sweet boy.

Bruce, sweating: yes hes a very well behaved kid

Meanwhile:

Dick, hanging from the chandelier: if I time it just right, I can drop this cheese slice on that man's head

[qcomicsy]

The Office but it's the Batfamily.

Bernard (To the camera): I think Bruce hates me.

---

Bruce (to the camera): I am very glad Tim, found himself dating someone. I don't think there's someone who would ever be enough to any of my children.

Bruce: But he is happy. So I am happy as well.

---

Bernard, invited over to dinner: That's. . . Um, A very nice mansion you have here sir. Really big. Big enough to hide an secret passage to clones but–

Tim, gesturing to him to shut the fuck up: HAHAHAHA ISN'T HE FUNNY?! (whispering) ᴮᵉʳⁿᵃʳᵈ ᴵ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒᵈ.

Bernard: WhichI'mnotimplyingyoudoanyway. But– IT'S NICE. Really nice. Thanks for uh inviting. . . Me.

Bruce, glaring: Hn.

---

Bruce (to the camera): Dick told me to make a "chit-chat". Be sure that our guest felt welcomed.

---

Bruce (to Bernard): Did you gave it a thought about your internship yet? When I started medical school I had a great interest on how Gotham's Hospital deals with post mortem patients.

Bernard:

---

Bruce (to the camera): I tried to find a common ground to make conversation. We both had similar majors, even though I've drop out

Bruce: I'm glad it was enough for a good starter.

---

Bernard (to the camera horrified): He wants me dead.

---

Dick (to the camera): HOW WOULD I KNOW HE WOULD PULL UP THE SERIAL KILLER TALK??–

---

Steph (to the camera): There's something really uncanny in seen it happen to another person.

Steph: And also really fucking funny too.

---

Kory (to the camera): The first time I got there I'm pretty sure was the time he made a contingency plan for me.

Kory: Which is cute. He thinking it would work but– Yeah.

---

Barbara (to the camera): Me and Dick? Oh he stopped talking to me for several weeks.

Barbara: When he did, he said "You are making a mistake".

Barbara:

Barbara: Don't you hate when he is right?

---

Kon (to the camera): I wasn't aloud to enter the house– I when I dated Cass, so–

Kon: Not that stopped me. But it still hurts.

---

Cass (to the camera), shrugging: I liked his piercings.

---

Bernard: . . . I didn't– Yet. No sir. I'm just, huh. . . Going with the flow?

Bruce: That's unfortunate. It's really important to always have a plan.

Bernard (gulps): You think?

Bruce: Yes. You never know what might happens next.

---

Damian (to the camera): It was the best dinner I've ever attended in this house.

---

Tim (to the camera): *Loud sight* I don't know what I was expecting.

---

Jason (to the camera): Are we really just going to pass on how his boyfriend looks like a knock off Scooby-doo member?

Jason: Like he is rocking a StarStruck haircut– And we just?– Okay.

---

Dick (to the camera): I mean it's not like Bruce is doing on purpose right?

---

Bruce, grinning to the camera: Hn.

---

Duke (to the camera): Oh he's absolutely doing on purpose.

[justsomerandom-nerd]

For bring your kid to work day at Wayne Enterprises Tim brings Bruce instead. Uno reverse

Damian said no

[dead-sane-stuff]

Just Batfam tingz pt 2 ft: batsis. Or bro 🤷

Jason: I dont wanna talk about it

Dick: You sure? I'm a pretty good listener

Jason: Then why didn't you hear me say I don't wanna talk about it

Source: Young Sheldon

______

*On a mission*

Tim : if this works then this will be the best day of my entire life

Y/n : damn, your life must really suck.

Source : regular show

______

Bruce: Wait you all read (Y/n)'s diary?

Tim : Yeah

Jason: Uh huh

Damian: *Tsk*, what I can stomach

Dick: Oh I just skim through it, to make sure they're not on drugs.

Bruce: W-What does it say?

Dick: It's says "I am not on drugs"

Source: Bob's burgers

____

Bruce : (Y/n) sometimes life is hard

Y/n : Bruce sometimes you're a piece of shit.

Source: trailer park boys

____

*Red Hood on the News *

Red hood: Yep it was tough, but I can't take all the credit I had a little help from two others.

*Nightwing and (Y/n) in the background*: 😀

Red hood: from my left gun and my right gun 🥰

*Nightwing and (Y/n) in the background*: 😑

Source: bob's burgers

_______