#incorrect bungou stray dogs

[incorrectsoukokuquotes]

Dazai: Do you think it's too late for us to get romantically involved? Chuuya, holding a gun: I think a little.

[sakyira]

Chuuya, at Dazai's funeral: I need a moment with him.

Everyone: Of course. *leaves*

Chuuya, leaning over Dazai′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.

Dazai: Yeah, no shit.

[forthetaintedmemes]

Poe: *in tears because Dazai called Karl a trash panda*

Ranpo: Apologize. Now.

Dazai: Or what?

Ranpo: Ed I need you to write me a book about a wine shop that never closes. I think our rental Executive could use another vacation. One he'll never want to leave.

*takes off glasses to squint at Dazai*

Ever.

Dazai:.....I don't negotiate with terrorists.

Ranpo: Ed add a puppy.

Dazai: OK HOLD ON!

[incorrect-bungo-stray-dogs]

Port Mafia Enemy: I invited you into the woods because I crave the most dangerous game.

Young Dazai and Chuuya, nodding: Knife monopoly.

Port Mafia Enemy:

Port Mafia Enemy: I was actually gonna hunt you for sport, but now I'm interested in whatever the fuck knife Monopoly is.

[myreygn]

[Dazai and Chuuya get arrested]

Dazai: So, who do we call?

Chuuya: I'd call Kouyou, but I feel safer in jail.

[bsdtual]

*Soukoku texting*

Dazai: Hi

Chuuya: Send dudes

Dazai: You mean nudes?~

Chuuya: I'm in a fight. I need more men

[vivalaplxto]

[iszfyodor]

Dazai: *Falls through ceiling and lands on his face, breaking a window*

Atsushi, not even turning around: Good morning, Dazai.

Dazai, getting up like nothing happened: Good morning.

[bsdisfreetherapy]

Teruko: PEASANT. I REQUIRE SUSTENANCE. Tachihara: You know there are other ways to say you want McDonalds. Teruko: YOU DARE SPEAK AGAINST ME— Tachihara: *sigh* What do you want? Teruko: Chicken nuggets please

[noose-lion]

Dazai: Why are you so mad at me!?

Chuuya: You blew up my fucking car!

Dazai: You have like, 13 cars and a motorcycle!

Chuuya: And I once had 14 cars and a motorcycle!

[incorrectsoukokuquotes]

Chuuya: Oh come on Dazai. No soft spot for the one person who slept with you sober?

[incorrect-madness]

Fukuzawa going over Dazai’s resume: It states here that you’re creative.

Dazai: Yes that is correct.

Fukuzawa: May I know what you create?

Dazai: Problems.

[forthetaintedmemes]

*Soukoku fighting because that's their love-hate language*

Kunikida: *snaps ruler on a desk*

Both of you shut it and sit the hell down!

Chuuya who just learned something about himself: *sits*

Dazai: What are you doing?

Chuuya: You heard the man.

Ranpo: Is this the daddy issues or the authority kink?

Dazai: *physically restraining Chuuya from murdering Ranpo while trying not to laugh*

Down boy! Play nice. We need him. Kunikida doesn't give gold stars for violence.

[incorrect-bungo-stray-dogs]

Kyouka, Dazai, and Atsushi: *screaming*

Kunikida, running into the room: WHAT’S WRONG KYOUKA?!

Dazai: Why Kyouka, Atsushi and I are screaming too?

Kunikida: Because Kyouka won't scream unless it's an emergency, but both of you scream whenever you have the chance.

[myreygn]

Kunikida: You slept with Tanizaki?!

Atsushi: I didn't know what else to do! He has these big, sad eyes!

Ranpo: Wow, really sounds like you had no choice.

[bsdtual]

Dazai: Fuck you!!

Chuuya: Fuck me yourself you coward!