#incorrect call of duty quotes

[metallictastinglifesupportliquid]

Price: Ok now that I have your attention- Ghost: You do not have my attention Price: Y/N Ghost: You have my attention

[call-of-duty-incorrect-quotes]

Soap: Tell me more about yourself Lt. I want to know everything.

Ghost: Alright. Pick a category.

Soap: What?

Ghost: Childhood trauma, substance abuse, poor life choices, mental illness…

Soap:...

Ghost: things I shouldn't have said, inappropriate humour…

[incorrectcodquotes]

Ghost: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its “intelligent” and “really cool”.

Ghost: But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go”.

[witchthewriter]

Gaz: I sleep with a knife under my pillow.

Soap: Weak. I sleep with a gun.

Y/N: You’re both pathetic

Soap: What do YOU sleep with?

Y/N: Simon.

[writingfromasgard]

Ghost: how can you eat those?

Reader, eating hotdog: hotdogs? They're good

Ghost: they have 2% human DNA in each hotdog!

Reader: 2% is a drop in the bucket compared to the 100% I swallowed last night.

Price: goddamnit, doll..

[avaleigh16]

Y/n: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Gaz: Several traffic violations.

Ghost: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Soap: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Price: Also, that’s not our car.

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Y/n: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.

Ghost: ... Your what?

Y/n: My friends.

Soap: Are they saying “friends”?

Price: I think they're being sarcastic.

Gaz: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Y/n! All of your friends are in this room.

Y/n: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.

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Y/n: This food is too hot... I cant eat it.

Ghost: You’re very hot, and I still eat you.

Everyone at the table: *silence*

Gaz: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING!

Price: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!

〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰

Y/n: If you want my advice-

Gaz: No offense but you’re the last person I want relationship advice from. You tried to kill Ghost. Multiple times.

Y/n: First off, that was before we started dating. Secondly, he also tried to kill me.

Ghost: It’s true. It was mutually attempted murder.

[neoarchipelago]

On mission

Y/N: *taking out a knife* every room can become a panic room if you give me just a fucking minute...

Soap: I'm scared LT... LT?

Ghost: I'm horny.

[blingblong55]

therapy, maybe? -Simon Riley

R/N: we're dating, of course I'll ask to wear your clothes

Ghost: we're dating, of course I installed tracking apps in your phone so I can see where you are at all times because I'm afraid my enemies are going to kidnap you

R/N: are you being serious?

Ghost:....no it's for the video *camera cuts*

R/N: we're dating, of course I love when you get sick so I can baby you

Ghost: we're dating, of course I gave you that necklace that has a tracker in case you realise you have tracker on your phone and the necklace also has a camera and its not because I don't trust you but because my family was killed and now I fear you're next

R/N: Simon- *camera cuts*

[eiraeths]

soap: [tracing ghost’s face] your bone structure is so nice

ghost: thank you?

soap: kinda giving my bone some structure

[kimjun]

Ghost and you walking towards the kitchen where the team is… Ghost is drunk

Yn, to Ghost: ...at least invite me to dinner

Ghost: I don't date married women, sorry.

Yn: But I'm your wife

Ghost: I don't make exceptions.

team starts laughing

[metallictastinglifesupportliquid]

Ghost: I cut my finger Y/N: I can kiss it so it'll get better Ghost: That works? Y/N: Yeah my mum used to do it when I was little *later* Ghost: I need you to punch me in the mouth Roach: Fucking finally

[call-of-duty-incorrect-quotes]

Baby: Sometimes I just don’t like people.

Soap: Oh, no, Baby. Why?

Baby: They make me want to say bad words.

Ghost, takes a toy knife and puts it inside Baby's backpack.

Soap: Simon, no.

[incorrectcodquotes]

Soap : I think Price mixed up our lunches. Look.

[holds up a post-it note that says "I'm proud of you and I love you so much."]

Gaz : Oh, that explains this.

[holds up a post-it note that says "Please be good. For the love of God, be good."]

[witchthewriter]

Gaz: Soap and Y/N are missing, can you find them?

Simon: What, do you think I have them microchipped or something?

Price: Well, do you?

Simon:

Simon: Yeah, hang on.

[penelopepine]

Gaz: Nothing bad ever happens to me; I have a crystal in my pocket at all times.

Price: What about when you fell out of the helicopter?

Gaz: That helicopter was in the middle of an active warzone, and here I sit before you completely fine. And you want to say crystals don't work?

[avaleigh16]

Y/n: God, if only someone loved me…

Soap: *standing behind them with roses*

Gaz: *holding box of chocolates*

Ghost: *has balloons and a card*

Price: *facepalms* This is sad.

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Y/n: Yeah, a partner sounds nice, but a supreme enemy you can make out with in secret sometimes sounds a lot more hardcore.

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Y/n: *kisses Gaz*

Gaz: !

Y/n: ...Did you steal my chapstick?

Gaz Did- did I what?

Y/n: My chapstick, Gaz. Did you steal it?

Ghost: Y/n, for the love of God, not this again.

Gaz: I- No, I didn't steal your chapstick. We use the same chapstick.

Y/n: No, there is absolutely no way we use the same chapstick, because it was only sold on one Etsy shop two years ago and they discontinued it, and I loved it so much that I bought the last of their stock, and I keep it in my freezer so it doesn't go bad. It's been discontinued for three years. No one uses the same chapstick for three years. So unless you've been eating a whole fuck ton of something that's flavored like chocolate and popcorn, you absolutely stole my fucking chapstick.

Gaz: Chocolate and popcorn?

Ghost: Why do you think it got discontinued?

〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰

Y/n: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives.

Ghost: I wake up at 4:30 AM every day to train.

Y/n: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives.