#incorrect call of duty quotes

[incorrect-ghostsoap-quotes]

Alejandro: [stabbing the air between Ghost and Soap]

Soap: What are you doing?

Alejandro: Trying to cut the sexual tension between you two. Shit, it isn’t working.

[warenai]

König: has Y/n yelled at you yet?

Horangi: I’m not scared of them

König: …

König: so that's a no

[theredharpy]

Soap: "We're L o s t."

Y/N: "Go ask someone for directions then."

Soap: walks to the nearest citizen he can spot and approaches them. "Hi there, could you help us?"

Citizen: "Bonjour, ça va?"

Soap: looks over at Y/N with a face of pure panic

Y/N: mouths the words "what's wrong."

Soap: points at himself and mouths back "I don't speak croissant." Starts panicking more, "come here and translate please."

Y/N: rolls their eyes and walks over to speak the citizen.

[altbite]

Incorrect Quotes *mw2 x reader*

Alejandro: Rudy and I are having a baby.

Y/n: That's gre-

Alejandro, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.

_

Price, driving y/n and Soap: So how was your day?

Y/n: We almost got surprise adopted!

Price: What?

Soap: We almost got kidnapped.

Price: Oh, okay.

Price: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

_

Ghost: Y/n... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

Y/n: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.

Ghost:

Ghost: I wrote sanitize, Y/n.

_

Y/n: *Stubs their toe* FUCK!

Rudy: Mind your language!

Y/n: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???

Rudy:

Y/n: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

_

Y/n: Am I going too far?

Gaz: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.

_

Soap: Truth or dare?

Y/n: Dare

Soap: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room

Y/n: Hey Graves

Graves, blushing: Yeah?

Y/n: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Alejandro

_

Y/n: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?

Gaz: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Ghost?

Ghost: Probably “road work ahead”.

Price: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

_

Price: Listen, I can explain...

Ghost: You’re making $500,000 and you’re only gonna pay me $30,000?

Soap: You’re getting 30 grand? I’m getting $1,000!

Y/N: You guys are getting paid?

_

Price: Just be yourself.

Y/n: 'Be myself'? Price, I have one day to win Alejandro over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Gaz: Couple weeks

Soap: Six months.

Ghost: Jury’s still out.

Y/n: See, Price?

Y/n: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

_

Soap: Alejandro... How do I begin to explain Alejandro?

Rudy: Alejandro is flawless.

Ghost: I hear their hair's insured for $10,000.

Gaz: I hear they do car commercials... in Japan.

Y/n: One time they punched me in the face... it was awesome.

[mylarena]

Ghost, in reply to Soap's flirting: Yeah, you're gonna have to get on your knees and beg for that one, Johnny. [Takes a sip of bourbon]

Soap: [Immediately drops to his knees right then and there and looks up at him with pleading eyes] Please?

Ghost, who (for some reason) wasn't expecting anything: [CHOKES] w HAT TH-E FUC-HK

[curlygirlybitchachos]

Gaz: do you ever think about why Ghost wears the mask?

Alejandro: maybe because he is ugly?

Soap: nah. He is definitely handsome.

Price: you kids are annoying as fuck sometimes. Leave that man alone.

Rudy: we just curious about it. Yes Y/n?

Y/n: my biggest fear is that one day he takes off the mask accidentally while I'm around him. I saw his face and the next day I'm gone.

*Everybody, horrified*

Y/n: but I'm with Soap. He is definitely handsome.

+bonus

Ghost feeling comfortable around Y/n, taking of the mask: do you mind if I...

Y/n: NO NO YOU HANDSOME FUCKER! I WANNA LIVE! *runs away*

Ghost, confused: what the fuck...

[ms-rampage]

Y/n: "How did you take down Captain America?."

König (understands the reference): "We shot him in the legs because his shield is the size of a dinner plate, and he's an idi-."

Y/n: *proud noises*

[Reference]

[kaydenverse]

ghost, walking into briefing ten minutes late looking slightly disheveled: sorry, i was doing stuff

soap, walking in a few moments after ghost also slightly disheveled: since when was my name stuff?

price and gaz:

[lazybutsmexy]

Incorrect COD quotes

Mystery

Price: so, who is responsible for this?

Gaz: I...I found it like th-

Price: I know, Gaz. I wasn't asking you.

Price *looks pointedly at Ghost, Y/N and Soap*: Who. Did. This.

Y/N *cannot handle unresolved tension*:...I did it. I'm sorry.

Price: I don't believe you. *Stares at Soap*

Soap *offended*: it wasn't me!

Price: I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!!

Ghost *did it*: yeah, what the fuck, Soap.

[ignify-caligo]

Price: *sees Ghost and Soap together*

Price: They’re cute. I would put them on a boat.

Gaz: You mean… you ship them?

[princessdimondheart]

Y/N: Simon… I’m pregnant… *shows test*

Ghost: *blinks*

Ghost: *blinks x2*

Ghost: *simon.ghost.riley.exe has stopped working*

Y/N: *sighs* I guess it’s time to reboot the system again….

CODMW2 Masterlist

[incorrect-ghostsoap-quotes]

Soap: Simon, I’m in love with you.

Ghost: You’re also drunk.

Soap: I can be both.

[warenai]

Price: we need to talk about your professionalism

Y/n, standing on a chair: those are some mighty brave words for someone standing in lava

[theredharpy]

König: "Guten Morgen."

Y/N: "gluten free to you too."

[wein-bitte]

🐯: Can I bring my portable hotpot? 🍲

💀: Fuck's a hotpot

🐯: It's for food

💀: Can it make mince?

🐯: ?

🧼: No one actually likes mince, mate.

💀: I do.

🐯: What is it?

💀: It's ground meats.

🐯: Do you like belly?

💀: Slicin' 'em.

🐯: 🐱‍👤

[mylarena]

Rudy, shivering: It's cold out here.

Alejandro, taking off his jacket: Here, take my jacket.

Rudy: I love you.

Soap, whining: Simon, I'm coooold.

Ghost, already taking off his jacket and pulling out an extra set of gloves and a hat from his pockets: Well damn, Johnny. I can't control the weather.