Soap: "We're L o s t."
Y/N: "Go ask someone for directions then."
Soap: walks to the nearest citizen he can spot and approaches them. "Hi there, could you help us?"
Citizen: "Bonjour, ça va?"
Soap: looks over at Y/N with a face of pure panic
Y/N: mouths the words "what's wrong."
Soap: points at himself and mouths back "I don't speak croissant." Starts panicking more, "come here and translate please."
Y/N: rolls their eyes and walks over to speak the citizen.
Incorrect Quotes *mw2 x reader*
Alejandro: Rudy and I are having a baby.
Y/n: That's gre-
Alejandro, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.
Price, driving y/n and Soap: So how was your day?
Y/n: We almost got surprise adopted!
Soap: We almost got kidnapped.
Price: Oh, okay.
Price: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!
Ghost: Y/n... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Y/n: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.
Ghost: I wrote sanitize, Y/n.
Y/n: *Stubs their toe* FUCK!
Rudy: Mind your language!
Y/n: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???
Y/n: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.
Y/n: Am I going too far?
Gaz: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.
Soap: Truth or dare?
Soap: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room
Y/n: Hey Graves
Graves, blushing: Yeah?
Y/n: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Alejandro
Y/n: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?
Gaz: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Ghost?
Ghost: Probably “road work ahead”.
Price: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.
Price: Listen, I can explain...
Ghost: You’re making $500,000 and you’re only gonna pay me $30,000?
Soap: You’re getting 30 grand? I’m getting $1,000!
Y/N: You guys are getting paid?
Price: Just be yourself.
Y/n: 'Be myself'? Price, I have one day to win Alejandro over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?
Gaz: Couple weeks
Soap: Six months.
Ghost: Jury’s still out.
Y/n: See, Price?
Y/n: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?
Soap: Alejandro... How do I begin to explain Alejandro?
Rudy: Alejandro is flawless.
Ghost: I hear their hair's insured for $10,000.
Gaz: I hear they do car commercials... in Japan.
Y/n: One time they punched me in the face... it was awesome.
Ghost, in reply to Soap's flirting: Yeah, you're gonna have to get on your knees and beg for that one, Johnny. [Takes a sip of bourbon]
Soap: [Immediately drops to his knees right then and there and looks up at him with pleading eyes] Please?
Ghost, who (for some reason) wasn't expecting anything: [CHOKES] w HAT TH-E FUC-HK
Gaz: do you ever think about why Ghost wears the mask?
Alejandro: maybe because he is ugly?
Soap: nah. He is definitely handsome.
Price: you kids are annoying as fuck sometimes. Leave that man alone.
Rudy: we just curious about it. Yes Y/n?
Y/n: my biggest fear is that one day he takes off the mask accidentally while I'm around him. I saw his face and the next day I'm gone.
Y/n: but I'm with Soap. He is definitely handsome.
Ghost feeling comfortable around Y/n, taking of the mask: do you mind if I...
Y/n: NO NO YOU HANDSOME FUCKER! I WANNA LIVE! *runs away*
Ghost, confused: what the fuck...
Incorrect COD quotes
Price: so, who is responsible for this?
Gaz: I...I found it like th-
Price: I know, Gaz. I wasn't asking you.
Price *looks pointedly at Ghost, Y/N and Soap*: Who. Did. This.
Y/N *cannot handle unresolved tension*:...I did it. I'm sorry.
Price: I don't believe you. *Stares at Soap*
Soap *offended*: it wasn't me!
Price: I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!!
Ghost *did it*: yeah, what the fuck, Soap.
Rudy, shivering: It's cold out here.
Alejandro, taking off his jacket: Here, take my jacket.
Rudy: I love you.
Soap, whining: Simon, I'm coooold.
Ghost, already taking off his jacket and pulling out an extra set of gloves and a hat from his pockets: Well damn, Johnny. I can't control the weather.