#incorrect captain america

[marvelnatasha]

Steve: Are you mad?

Bucky: No.

Steve: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

[marvel-lous-guy]

Steve: Why are you eating tofu?

Bucky: I'm trying to convince Sam I'm a vegan

Steve: Why?

Bucky: I've been stealing his chicken from the fridge and if I'm vegan, he can't accuse me of stealing it

Steve: Why not just buy your own chicken, Buck?

Bucky: this is much more fun, watch

Sam: Okay! I have had enough! WHO THE HELL! IS EATING MY GOD DAMN CHICKEN!?

[azerishi]

Steve: Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.

Peter, nodding sagely: So, that way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Tony, tearing up: That's my boy.

[skylarinfinity]

[bucky and male reader came across zombie captain america when they try to find survivors]

bucky : [notice zombie captain america and tap male reader shoulder] male reader, get ready-

male reader : [turn and see zombie captain america] bless his heart, he hasn't changed a bit.

[zombie captain america throw his shield towards male reader and bucky but missed]

male reader : [click his tongue] ah just like he was when we dated... brainless.

bucky : [panicking, try to avoid zombie captain america attack] male reader, not now!!

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy

[incorrectmarvels]

Steve: I have a plan.

Fury: It can’t involve overthrowing the government.

Natasha: Okay well-

Fury: It also can’t involve murder.

Natasha and Steve: We have no plan.

[1luna1lovegood1]

steve, checking on shuri and peter before a fight: are you ready, kids?

shuri & peter: aye aye captain!

clint: i cant hear you

shuri & peter: AYE AYE CAPTAIN

steve, looking up: did You keep me alive a hundred years for this

clint: but i really cant hear you

clint: i forgot where i left my hearing aids

[topknott]

Steve: We call that a traumatic experience.

Steve, turning to Harley: Not a "bruh moment".

Steve, turning to Shuri: Not "sadge".

Steve, turning to Peter: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

[chaotictasha]

Incorrect quotes#115

Y/n: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Steve: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

[incorrect-wandanat]

Steve: No offense but-

Peter: Oh well this is going to offend.

Steve: I haven’t even-

Peter: All of my pseudo-parents are team Iron Man. I can’t support you.

Steve: Your pseudo-parents? What about Wanda?!?

Peter, hugs Wanda: She repented.

Wanda, tearful: That’s right. I fell face first into Natasha’s boobs and never looked back.

Steve: Damn it! Next time I’m just going to offend.

Peter: I think you already have, Steven.

[the-suicidal-lizard]

Idiot

Bucky, thinking: Don't let him know you're an idiot, don't let him know you're an idiot, don't let him know you're an idiot, don't let him —

Steve: Nice weather.

Bucky, voice crack: Thanks.

[lithiumseven]

Bucky, punching aliens with increasing frustration: Just another typical fucking Tuesday afternoon!

Steve: Buck…it’s Friday

Bucky: FUCK

[marvellyous-archive]

Peter: Mr. Thor, you forgot your hammer. *casually handing Thor his hammer*

Tony: ...My kid is worthy! Suck that Steve!

Thor: YOU ARE WORTHY! I SHALL TRAIN YOU TO RULE ASGARD! *side hugs Peter as he walks them out*

Tony: Wait- Hold on a sec- No one is taking my kid! *runs after Thor and Peter*

Steve: *confused* So is this a good thing or a bad thing?

[marvel-lous-guy]

Fury: The team have some concerns with how you run training sessions and mission briefs

Steve: What? Why? What did they say?

Fury: well, they all anonymously submitted a statement about it

Steve: were they bad?

Fury: one said "his enthusiasm and charisma has all the captivating qualities of a house plant, which I am certain, would run mission briefs and training sessions in a more captivating Manner, if given the opportunity"

Steve: ...

Steve: did the spider-kid say that?

Fury: I can neither confirm nor deny that

Fury: But yes, yes he did

[peter-parker-pictures]

Steve: *coughing*

Steve: I'm dying

Tony: Can you do it a little quieter? It's fucking annoying.

Steve: I-

[skylarinfinity]

[zombie captain america jump on top male reader try to bite him, bucky punch zombie captain america on face and keep beating him]

natasha : [helping male reader to stand up] are you okay? you lucky to survive this, from the record zombie cap successfully eat all his victims.

male reader : oh now he suddenly good at eating out [huffs]

natasha : [slap male reader on the back head of his head] not now!

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy

[thedyslexicbard]

Steve: oh god what is that smell?

Tony: bourbon and despair get over it