Odysseus: is that you, Athena?
Owl: 🦉
Odysseus: 🤨
Owl: 🦉
Odysseus: 🫤
Owl: 🦉
Odysseus: 🙁
Owl: 🦉
Odysseus: 🥱
Owl: ohh big stretch!
Odysseus: I KNEW IT
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Nestor: Guys, guys! Lets take a vote.
Agamemnon: Secret vote! Everybody cover your eyes!
Diomedes, eyes closed: We won't know the result.
Menelaus, eyes closed: Well, say your vote out loud.
Odysseus, eyes closed: We'll know each other's voices.
Achilles, eyes still closed: Ajax has a point.
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Poseidon: Which one of you was going to tell me that tea taste different if you put it in hot water
Athena,*slowly puts down her book*: Y-You were putting it in cold water....
Poseidon: ....
Hera: Poseidon. Answer the question. Poseidon!
Poseidon: Yeah I thought for like 5 years that people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. Didn't realize there was an actual reason.
Everyone: ....
Poseidon: You think I have the patience to boil water?
Dionysus: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes????
Apollo,*grabbing him*: Why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it?!
Dionysus: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?!
Apollo: It takes less than a minute!
Hermes: BESTIE IS YOUR STOVE TOP POWERED BY THE FUCKING SUN?????
Apollo: HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE YOU TO BOIL A CUP OF WATER ON THE STOVE!??!
Hermes: Like 7 minutes!
Dionysus: *nods*
Apollo: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like 2 minutes less than that and you use a saucepan.
Zeus: HA- You're putting the whole mug on the stove?????? on medium heat???? You're stove is enchanted!
Athena: Every single person in this room is a fucking lunatic...
Demeter: Do none of you own a fucking kettle!?
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The Song of Achilles
Achilles: OKAY SO LOOK AT THAT FUCKING GORGEOUS PERSON IN THE FUCKING MIRROR
Narcissus *in spirit*: Bitch yes, we both slay
Achilles: I SAID LOOK, PATROCLUS
Narcissus: *tsk* I thought we were vibing.
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rip alexander the great you would've loved the teenage tumblr girls that obsess over patrochilles as much as you did
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"Cronus, God of Time, God of Decay-"
"...in the face of his own mortality, he devoured Rhea's creations, of earth and sea, limb by limb, until none but the sky remained."
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Apollo, *acting tough*: You guys don't want to mess with me.
Dionysus: Yeah, Apollo will straight up cry in public. Don't try him.
Apollo: Exactly, I will straight up-
Apollo: ...
Apollo, *tearing up*: Dio, why would you say that?!
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Zeus: When I got married, you know what Hera often said to me?
Poseidon: Please stop sleeping with other people?
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Hermes, Apollo and Hephaestus, barging into Poseidon's room: POSEIDON!!!!
Poseidon, dropping his drink: WHAT THE FUCK-
Hephaestus: SAY I CAN MAKE A TACTICAL ROOMBA
Poseidon: A what- Why are you asking me?!
Hermes: Zeus and Hera will say no and Maia and Leto aren’t here!
Poseidon: … I guess? Go for it.
Apollo: FUCK YEA- *leaves*
Poseidon: … am I the fun uncle?
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Aphrodite: When I see initials carved into a tree with a heart, I think it’s so romantic! Two lovers on a date…
Ares: One of them carrying a knife for some reason
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Small Ajax: Time sensitive question how flirt girl.
Agamemnon: Throw rocks at her.
Odysseus: Hot Dogs.
Achilles: Kill her.
Ajax: Thanks guys
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