#incorrect marvel cinematic universe quotes

[jjsmaybank20]

Clint: Where do you think you'll end up, hell or heaven?

Natasha: I hope hell. It's where all the gay people are.

Y/N: It's lit.

Y/N: Pun intended.

Clint: Y'all are weird.

[drstrangefictions]

Loki: I'm an idiot.

Frigg:

Kid!Loki:

Classic Loki:

Boastful Loki:

Alligator Loki:

Sylvie:

Loki:

Frigg: If you're waiting for us to disagree this is going to be a long day.

[incorrectmarvelquotesss]

Sam: Bucky isn’t answering his phone.

Y/N: I’ll call him.

Steve: Sam and I have both tried six times. What makes you think—

Bucky: Hey, doll.

[daisy-mooon]

Kamala: I'm getting another sibling!

Carol: Congratulations! Do you know what-

Muneeba Khan: *slams adoption papers on the table* The sibling is you. Sign right here.

[marvel-lous-guy]

Tony: what the hell were you thinking!?

Peter: Obviously I was thinking I would get away with it and wouldn't have to explain myself!

[esmerxyaugusta]

[ maria coming back from a mission ]

nat: are you okay? are you hurt?

maria: *shaking her head* but i think i need sleep

nat: what, why? we have a date tonight *pouts*

maria: blood loss

nat: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T INJURED

maria: i mean my period, vagina blood loss

[georgie3116]

*Natasha making a video in case she ever gets amnesia*

*Camera Zooms in on Yelena Chilling on the couch*

Natasha: This is Yelena. She is your sister.

Yelena: …

Natasha: If she offers you food, it’s safe to take it.

*Natasha turns the Camera on herself*

Natasha: You probably paid for it, anyway.

[diaryoflife]

Y/N: Just realized there’s nothing stopping me from drinking a lava lamp.

*Natasha sighs and hits the back of Y/N’s head whilst the team laughs*

[the-real-mj]

Mj: So what’s for dinner?

Peter: I can’t tell you, it’s a soup-prise!

Mj: …

Mj: Is it soup?

Peter: I soup-pose it could be! *winks*

Mj: Please, enough with the soup puns!

Peter: Wow, you’re soup-per mean.

Mj: STOP!

*one hour later*

Mj: It’s fucking spaghetti?!?!?!

[peter-parkers-left-pinky]

Natasha: I just heard Y/N call the dog a “fucking liar” because he barked like someone was at the door and no one was there.

[jonasdirection101]

Peter: “I’m gonna be just like you!”

Tony, panicking: “No, no, no, no. May is gonna kill me. No, no, no. That’s a bad idea. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.”

[jjsmaybank20]

Wanda: You're not good for my heart.

Y/N: ...

Y/N: Like in a stress way or loving way?

[drstrangefictions]

Loki: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean? Frigg: it means I was the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. Loki: But what's the first worst thing? Frigg: Loki, they...they weren't always orphans. Loki:

[incorrectmarvelquotesss]

Bucky: Can I be frank with you?

Y/N: Sure, but I don’t think changing your name is going to help.

Sam: Can I still be Sam?

Y/N: Hush, Sam. Let Frank speak.

[marvel-lous-guy]

Steve: okay, team bonding exercises! What is everyone's biggest fear?

Clint: accidentally committing tax fraud

Sam: sharks

Nat: your more likely to be killed by a vending machine than a shark

Peter: actually, your more likely to be bitten by a stranger in New York than by a shark anywhere else in the nation

Clint: I'm changing mine to strangers in New York

Bucky: trains

[esmerxyaugusta]

y/n: *lying on the floor*

nat: *walks by*

nat: what are you doing?

y/n: im wounded *pretends to die*

nat: what hurt you?

y/n: im wounded by love *coming back from the dead then dies again*