Y/N: Hey, question.
Y/N: Does your mom like me?
Natasha: It's two in the morning.
Y/N: Yeah, but does she?
Bucky: I don't like women.
Steve: you're a MISOGYNIST???
Steve: I know you've been through some shit but I thought better of you
Bucky: Steve, no.
Steve: You can't say that! Times have changed!
Bucky: I'm gay
Steve: me too
Wanda sees Y/N playing with their kids in the backyard…
Her heart just flutters…
Natalie: higher! higher!
Y/N lifts Natalie higher in the air. The little girl giggles…
Y/N chases Billy and Tommy around, the boys scream and laugh with delight
Wanda stares at her detka with love…
Wanda: someone’s getting lucky tonight
Y/n: I love murder mysteries.
Natasha, trying to impress her: I have been the prime suspect in multiple murder cases.
Countdown to Coven of Chaos: Day 379
Agatha: “Why can’t I find any super glue? All we have in the cabinets is white craft paste”
Wanda: “I had to get rid of it after last time
Y/N: *sinks down into chair*
Agatha: “…last time?”
Wanda: “You don’t remember? Y/N miraculously got it in their hair and we had to cut the chunk out?”
Agatha: “Ohhhh I thought you were referring to the time I glued my hand to my face”
Wanda: “No not that- wait WHAT?!”
Agatha, turning around: “-anyways the paste is fine BYEEEE”
Natasha: Why shouldn't you put a toaster in a bathtub full of water?
Peter: Because your toast would get soggy!
Sam: Oh my god, that man is so funny we stab a legend
Sam: I MEANT STAN
Bucky: *puts away his knife as casually as possible*
Wanda: What are your plans while we’re on vacation?
Nat: I really want to visit the leaning tower of Pizza!
Nat: Yeah, like a piece of pizza.
Wanda: No, Pisa, like the place.
Nat: Oh, so like Tony’s Pizza Place?
Wanda: No! There is no pizza involved! It’s just a leaning tower.
Nat: Yelena that little bitch—
Pepper: i overheard our 11 y/o daughter, Morgan, record her voicemail greeting: "hi, you're reached my voicemail. when you hear the beep, hang up and send me a text"
Tony: i wonder where she got that from... *looks at his sister*
Y/n: well i'd say this generation gets it. *shrugs*
Nat, giggling: i think Morgan is becoming more like her Auntie Y/n/n.
Pepper: well... it's better than her becoming like her dad.
*the three women laugh*
Pepper, giggling: i'm kidding, honey.
Also Pepper mouthing to Y/n and Nat: i'm not...
tony: if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box
steve: that’s just a trash can
tony: and your point is
Natasha: “I need your help. I can’t tell you what it is, you can’t ask me about it later, and we’re gonna hurt some people.”
Clint: “Who’s car are we gonna take?”
Tony: Natasha's family looks down on me. Yelena talks about me right in front of my face in Russian because she thinks I’m not smart enough to learn another language. But I’ve been taking classes and now I can understand all the hurtful things she’s saying.
Y/N: And how did that help?
Tony: Well, now I know they all think I’m short and I was able to do some research and find that 1940s census that proves I’m above average in height.
Y/N: For 1940.
Tony: Yeah, I’m taller than the greatest generation! It doesn’t matter-
Princess Shuri of Wakanda and Namor The Sub-Mariner in Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022 | dir. Ryan Coogler)
Wanda and Pietro with their sister who has the power to turn into an big white tiger And she has little control over it
The tiger tries slashing at Pietro
Pietro: nice kitty! Down kitty!!!
Wanda: what did you say?
Pietro: I said you look like hot topic threw up all over you
The tiger growls again
Wanda: keep him there Y/N
She kisses the top of the tiger’s head
Wanda: -waiting with a sign that says "Will you come to the dance with me?"
Y/n: Oh, my God, yes!
Wanda: No, tell Vision!
Y/n: Vision, I'm going to the dance with your girlfriend!
Countdown to Coven of Chaos: Day 380
Wanda: *reading out a book*
Y/N and Agatha: *curled against her falling asleep*
Wanda: “Are you two even listening? If you’re tired, we can finish this chapter tomorrow”
Y/N: “What? No no no no don’t stop! We’re awake!”
Agatha: “Yeah, that would be so rude to fall asleep while you’re reading something important!”
*five minutes later*
Y/N and Agatha: *fast asleep on Wanda*
Wanda: “Liars…I’m trapped and can’t GET UP NOW”
Agatha, muttering: “That’s the entire point”