#incorrect may parker

[underoooos]

May : So you're like the therapist for the whole team?

Peter : Mmm kinda

May : Who's your therapist then?

Peter, holding up a small pebble : Well I talk to this rock sometimes

[azerishi]

[S-M;NWH — Interrogation Scene]

Interrogator: We all already know what you did, Mr. Parker.

Peter, biting his lip and looking down:

Interrogator: It's better to admit to them now, it might lessen your punishment.

Peter, sighing: Okay! Okay. You got me. It was me who clogged the toilet last night, but I swear it was an accident, and I tried to fix it, but I just made it worse and it was so embarrassing—

Interrogator:

Tony: I told you! I told you it wasn't me, May!

May: How could've I known?! You're a rich person in a normal apartment, you were more likely to not be used to our bathroom!

[the-real-mj]

Mj: Do you think your aunt likes me?

Peter: May literally begged you to marry me

[jonasdirection101]

Peter: “I’m gonna be just like you!”

Tony, panicking: “No, no, no, no. May is gonna kill me. No, no, no. That’s a bad idea. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.”

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Peter: And how exactly will you stop me?

Tony: I’ll call May.

Peter:

Peter: Goddammit!

[pool-spidey]

[fandomnerd9602]

Could you do a story where spideypool reader walks in and makes a beeline for Peter B parker.

‘where is my little maymay’

‘she’s been kidnapped’

reader draws and checks his gun ‘im ready’

‘im kidding she is having a diaper change, but good to know you’ll protect her at all cost’

‘Maymay’, reader yells when mj comes in with her.

Y/N: Maymay! My favorite little multiverse sister!

Peter and MJ watch Y/N holding little May...

Peter: i guess beauty soothes the savage beast

MJ: think we can get Y/N to babysit?

Y/N: I'll do it!! Free of charge!

Y/N hugs May tight...

Y/N: (whispers) I won't let anyone hurt you Maymay

[ultimate-spiderman-stuff]

One of May's gal pals: so, are Ben and Peter twins?

May: Ha! No, if they were twins,Ben would have eaten Peter in the womb

[mamaspidershit]

Natasha: That was the worst throw ever. Of all time. Peter: Not my fault. Somebody put a wall in the way.

[underoooos]

Peter: If Harley and I were drowning who would you save? Tony : You two can't swim? Peter: It's a hypothetical question, Mr. Stark! Who would you save? Tony : *scoffing* My time and effort

[spideyspetertingle]

Aunt May: We love having you around MJ, you're welcome any time. Heck, let me give you a house key, pop in whenever! MJ: Thank you, May! Peter: ...I don't even have a house key.

[keenzinemugstudent]

Miguel: You have to let your dad die Miles that's the fate of being Spider-Man

Miles:

vs

Miguel: You have to let your brother di-

Y/n:

don't get me wrong I love Miguel and everything that's a whole ass child bruh also I do not condone abuse or violence😭this was just a goofy idea nothing serious yeah this is another Miguel X reader you are Miles's aunt which makes his father your brother I forgot to add that part

[the-real-mj]

Peter, to Mj: would you like to stay for dinner

May: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?

[marvelflame2010]

Peter: Mark the day, MJ. May 19th at 5 pm.

MJ: Oh honey, we are well into October.

Peter: Really? We are?

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Y/N: Why are you so mad at me? Is it because I slept with your aunt?

Peter: YOU WHAT?

Y/N: Fuck, it wasn’t that.

[marvel-lous-guy]

Peter: Isn't it amazing! Seven continents, eight billion people on the planet and a whole lifetime of choices and possible outcomes and in this particular string of decisions, in this particular moment... it had to be you stuck in the bathroom I walked into so I could pull this pole out of my thigh!

Tony: HOW ARE YOU STILL TALKING!? HOW ARE YOU BREATHING!? HOW ARE YOU COMING UP WITH THIS SHIT ON THE SPOT, WHILE YOU HAVE A POLE IN YOUR THIGH!?

Peter: It's a gift

Tony: WE ARE LEAVING! NOW!

Peter: I am gonna tell everyone you were stuck in a public bathroom, you know that right?

Tony: *sarcastic* What bathroom? You think I use a public bathroom? Me? You're delusional from the blood loss kid

Peter: No I'm not!

Tony: But no one will believe you

Peter: you sick son of a bitch