#incorrect mdzs quotes

[lovewanxian]

Lan Wangji: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

Wei Wuxian, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

A-Yuan, whispering: Because I have little hands.

Wei Wuxian to Lan Wangji: Because he has little hands.

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Lan Qiren teaching: the Lan forehead ribbon is proof of discipline and restraint

Wei Wuxian: it sure restrains ill tell you that

Lan Qiren:

Wei Wuxian:

[wangxian-the-zhijis]

Lwj: *softly* ouch…

Wwx: What happened?!

Lwj: Nothing. I just nicked my finger while cleaning Bichen.

Wwx: Aw, here. *kisses his finger*

Lwj: What’s that for?

Wwx: Shijie does that to me! It’s supposed to make you feel better!

—Later—

Lwj: Brother, may I ask you to please punch me in the mouth?

Lxc: … Brother???

Jwy: Can I volunteer?

(Insp.)

[incorrect-web-novels]

Nie Huaisang: Wei-xiong, for $1000, would you have sex with Lan Wangji?

Wei Wuxian: Shit, that's tough. Would I have to pay the thousand all at once, or in installments, or-

(Source)

[wangxianslillotus]

Lwj: I will but in ways you don't yet know

[mianqingxuan]

Jiang cheng: How did none of you hear what I just said?!

Wei wuxian: I’ve been zoned out for the past two hours.

Nie huaisang: I got distracted halfway through.

Lan wangji: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

[cloudvivi]

Jin Ling: Please, I’m begging you go to a doctor.

Jiang Cheng: I’m sorry, is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

[motivationisdead]

Lan Jingyi: I have decided that I will now cause problems on purpose.

Jin Ling: And that’s different from how you normally act how?

[my-random-mdzs-thoughts]

*Lan Jingyi running*

Wei Wuxian: *seeing him running head first for a low tree branch* Jingyi! DUCK!

Lan Jingyi: Quack!

Lan Jingyi: *proceeds to run full force into said low tree branch*

[jayktoralldaylong]

Lan Wangji: What's your weapon called?

Wei Wuxian: Whatever.

Lan Wangji: You don't want to say?

Wei Wuxian, with a grin: It's called Whatever. When I had to choose a name I couldn't pick so I just said "Whatever" and it stuck. Funny right? XD

Lan Wangji: .........

Lan Wangji back home: Dear Diary, once again, why does it have to be him? (TT) Why?!

[lan-wangjis-wei-wussy]

Wei Wuxian: We're best friends! I'm straight but I'd rather kiss him than any other girls!

Lan Wangji:...We're best friends, I constantly think about all the positions I can [REDACTED] him with [REDACTED] and with [REDACTED] while he's [REDACTED] with my [REDACTED]

Jiang Cheng:......YOU WANT TO WHAT MY BROTHER?!!

[lovewanxian]

Lan Wangji: I can love a person and still admit when they're wrong. I love Wei Ying but can acknowledge his flaws (he has none) and can hold him accountable for his wrongdoings (he's never done anything wrong in his life) and call him out for his actions (which are always correct)

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

At the monthly MXTX red-and-blacks meeting

Wei Wuxian: i wanna fuck a monk

Luo Binghe: Lan?

Wei Wuxian: yes.

Luo Binghe: a good one.

Wei Wuxian: yes.

Luo Binghe: looks good in the... *gestures indicating the forehead ribbon*

Wei Wuxian: yes

Luo Binghe, sagely: i understand

Hua Cheng: do you want to fuck a monk or do you want to fuck god?

Wei Wuxian: can you fuck god?

Hua Cheng: oh yes

[wangxian-the-zhijis]

Wwx: *trying to flirt*

Wwx: Can you help me? I’m lost.

Lwj: Mn.

Wwx: Could you tell me where the road to your heart is?

Lwj: Shouldn’t Wei Ying know that already? Wei Ying was the one who paved it.

Wwx: *is flustered* *blushing intensifies*

//When you’re a flirt but he’s also a flirt//

(Insp.)

[incorrect-web-novels]

Nie Mingjue: NONSENSE! The Nie Sect doesn't even know the meaning of the word "surrender"!

Nie Huaisang: But we're willing to learn!

[wangxianslillotus]

Wwx a summary: