#incorrect peaky blinders quotes

[angelofthenight]

Alfie, to Tommy: Ur in (y/n)’s dms, I’m on google looking for nutrient rich soil I’d keep them in if they were a worm. We are not the same

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

Tommy Shelby: Guess what

You: Bitch with the way you live, I have no idea.

[peaky-f0cking-blinders]

Polly, at Tommy’s funeral: I need a moment with him.

Everyone: Of course *Leaves*

Polly, leaning over Tommy’s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.

Tommy: Yeah, no shit.

[ssa-kitsune1310]

[Polly when she used to look after Tommy and the others when they were kids]

Tommy: Why should I make my bed, when I'm just gonna unmake it to sleep in it anyways?

Polly: Why should I feed you if your just gonna die anyways?

Tommy: ...

Tommy: I'll go make my bed-

[anonymooseforever007]

*Y/N peacefully eating and organised plate of food at the dinner table, ignoring Michael's attempts to get attention because he was an ass yesterday.*

Michael: Y/N? *he is ignored* Micahel: Hey Y/N?

Michael *moves closer* : I'm gonna be a nice brother about it one more time. Y/nnnnn!!

*Y/N still ignoring him*

Michael *sighing and raising fork*: Alright, you brought this upon yourself....

*Michael sticks his fork on Y/N's plate and mixed around all the food making everything touch*

Y/N *Furiously standing up*: YOU whoreless syphilitic goat fuck! I will shred your ability to continue this family line!!!

Michael *Offended*: Oi! I can absolutely get a whore! And don't call me a goat fucker!

Y/N *smugly*: I didn't call you a goat fucker, I called you a goat FUCK, because the goat is fucking YOU!.... moron.

Michael: Oh why don't yo-

Y/N interrupting: Baaa!

Michael: Re-

Y/N: BAAAAAAAA

Michael: That's not sheep sound not go-

Y/N *totally ignoring him* : BAAAAAAAAAAA BAAAAAAAA BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

*Michael shoving his hand over Y/N's mouth to stop it all*

Michael: ....

Y/N: .....

Michael *Slowly taking of his hand*: Are you gonna st-

Y/N *staring direcly in Michael's eyes*: Ba Ba Goat Fuck! *Y/N Mushes Potatoes in his face and runs away, as Michael chases after*

.....

*Polly sitting at the table still eating her food, pretending they are someone else's spawn*

[the-fangirl-diaries]

Tommy: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you. Grace: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule. Tommy: Absolutely not.

[flysafepapi]

Tommy: I didn't think you could keep it a secret.

John: What? I am an excellent secret-keeper. I have kept all of your secrets,

Esme: What secrets?

John: Oh, no no, Esme. I am not going to tell you, because I am an excellent secret keeper.

Esme (privately): You'll tell me later?

John: You already know.

[cookieann]

I did another one, but I’m not sure about the source

Arthur: Do we have a panic room in here?

Tommy: Arthur, every room you’re in is a panic room.

[callsign-fangirl]

Inspector Campbell: it says here in your file you are creative.

Tommy Shelby: Yes, that's right.

Inspector Campbell: Can I ask what it is that you create ?

Tommy: ...problems mostly.

@retromafia @the-makingsofgreatness @bonniesgoldengirl @zablife @holyfoal @peakywitch @cillmequick @murderousginger @broiderie @peakyv @moral-turpitudes @breanime @champagneholland

[ninja-potato-shelby-solomons]

Ayuh. Fixed it.

#I mean it's not a lie

[angelofthenight]

Tommy: Your husband Alfie’s a lunatic, Arthur and I both agree.

You: You do?

Arthur: No, uh-uh, I did never call him a lunatic!

Tommy: Sorry, I think I’m the one who called him a lunatic.

Tommy: Arthur called him a clown.

[fakeoldmanfucker]

Alfie: Thomas-

Tommy: Grace used to call me Thomas...

Alfie: Because it's your fucking name

[peaky-f0cking-blinders]

Tommy: My only talent is being stress.

Ada: Don’t you mean stressed?

Tommy: No.

[ssa-kitsune1310]

Lizzie: Did you eat today, Tommy?

Tommy: I only had salad for dinner.

Lizzie: ...

Tommy: Well, fruit salad.

Tommy: Actually, it was mostly grapes.

Lizzie: ...

Tommy: Okay, it was all grapes.

Tommy: Fermented grapes.

Lizzie: ...

Tommy: ...

Lizzie: ...

Tommy: It was wine.

Tommy: I had wine for dinner.

[anonymooseforever007]

*Luca showing up for a meeting because Tommy wants him to marry Y/N and a pissed off Y/N insults him.*

Luca: Who do you who I am?

Y/N: A man who thinks finger paintings are scary.

Luca: Excuse you?

Y/N: What, were you helping "mommy" with her school lesson plan, making hand turkeys one day, and decide "Ohh THUMBS, terrifying!"

Luca: How dare you! Why I'll...

Y/N: What send me finger painting?!!

Luca *eye twitching*: ......

Tommy *regrets recent life choices*

Alfie *hiding in the back so fucking proud*

Y/N *undeterred* : Can it be pink and sparkling? Or maybe red like the blood that'll be coming from your chest when I stab you at the alter because if you think I'm gon...*muffled noises as Arthur covers Y/N's mouth and drags away*

Everyone Left Behind: ........

John: Well that escalated...

[cuntrygirlcallista]

polly gray x luca changretta | season 4 episode 3

“In return for what?”