sirius: just found out james is shagging regulus
remus: and??
sirius: therefore me and you need to get together so we can give him a taste of his own medicine
remus: how would that remotely affect james
sirius: i don’t know but we should still do it anyways
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remus : harry, i'm sorry but me and professor male reader leaving hogwarts for good [give harry sympathy smile]
harry : [angry] are you fucking serious?!
male reader : [shocked] how do you know about us and sirius?!
harry : [confused] what-
remus : [sighs] male reader, it's serious not sirius.
male reader : oh...
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Remus: Your barking woke me up at 6 a.m. on my day off.
Sirius, scoffing: My barking saved you from being murdered today and yet you're so ungrateful.
Remus: It was just a plastic bag, Sirius.
Sirius, haughtily: Looked sketchy enough to me.
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Y/N: *singing* I wish I could synthesize, a picture perfect guy
Y/N: *singing* Six feet tall and super strong, we always get along
Remus: Hi Y/n
Y/N: *gasp* I conjured one!
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soulmates<<<<
Hermione: Harry, your patronus is a stag, right?
Remus, watching from a distance: OKAY HERE GOES, SHE FINALLY GOT IT
Harry: Mhm. Why?
Hermione: You know about the soulmate thing, right? Doe patronus and all?
Harry: Oh, yeah, I do. What about it?
Hermione: So, doesn't that mean that your soulmate would be the only living person with a doe patronus?
Harry: Yeah, why do you keep-
Harry:
Hermione:
Remus:
Harry: OH MY GOD HERMIONE WHY
Remus: GRANGER YOU TRAITOR EW EW EW
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mcgonagall: you’re very mature for your age
remus: thank you. it’s the trauma.
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Snape: Scumbag.
Sirius: Nutter.
Snape: Twat.
Sirius: You have a large nose.
Snape: You have a small dick.
Remus: He doesn't. I've seen it.
Sirius: ;)
Remus: ;)
Snape:
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*In the midst of war, shrouded by fear and uncertainty*
James: Do you trust me?
Lily: *a small sure smile* yes. With both of our lives.
-
Sirius: Do you trust me?
Remus: Nngrrrr padfoot you made pasta with chocolate I don't know!!
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Remus: James… why do you have bite marks on your arms?
James: *sweating nervously* OH- oh, Urm I was babysitting my little cousin and- and he bites. haha.
Remus: *raises one eyebrow*
Sirius: *sympathetic* That sucks mate. Reggie was a fucking biter too- reckon I’ve still got scars from the little shit.
James: *quietly squeaks*
Remus: *raises the other eyebrow*
James: … I’ve got to go *absolutely bolts*
Sirius: what was that about?
Remus: *sighs* It would appear that you and James have the same cousin.
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Remus, whispering to the phone: Where. Are. You. Reg?! This place is fancy and I don't know which fork to kill myself with!
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James: I think I’m in love with you!
Regulus :
James:
Regulus: *pulls out a big binder with pieces of paper sticking out everywhere
James: what’s this?
Regulus: Our wedding plans, I’ve been planning it since first year. Remus taught me to scrap book.
James: *in love
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sirius: i was gonna say we could do a marilyn monroe and john f kennedy roleplay but i’d get too much into it
remus: how?
sirius: because you’d be all sexy and say “come to bed, mr. president,” and i’d be like “i can’t, i need to increase the amount of american military advisors in south vietnam by eighteen.”
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Remus: Right hand blue
James: This Twister game is so fun!
Regulus: Not that fun. Are you sure this is right, Remus? Potter is practically on top of me
Remus: Of course it is!
Sirius, whispers: Is it?
Remus: I haven’t used the spinner in half an hour
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Regulus: wait, you kissed my boyfriend?
Sirius: he was far from your boyfriend when we kissed. We were fifteen and both confused about our sexuality.
Regulus: what the fuck
James: you’re being dramatic, love
Regulus: how? I’m not being dramatic. Sirius kissed you, that’s not fair.
Sirius: you can kiss Remus if that’ll shut you up
Remus: please don’t kiss Remus
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walburga: you’re not good enough for my son
remus: you’re not good enough for your son
walburga: excuse me?
remus: you heard me.
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3 AM THINGS
Remus: I'm breaking up with Sirius
Lily: Why?
Remus: He said that AK-47s stood for Avada Kedavra -47s
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