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#incorrect spideypool quotes
kaethefangirl · 3 months
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Matt: I thought you were unserious and childish when I met you.
Peter: oh.
Matt: But then I met Wade, and now you seem professional and serious.
Peter: Wade isn't that goofy.
Wade: *in his room interrogating his stuffed unicorn* WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY MAMA!?
Peter: Statement retracted.
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siriuslyli · 1 year
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Peter: hey, did you know there's a rumor that you're gay?
Wade: a RUMOR ? You're telling me people are DOUBTING it?
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headcanonthings · 1 year
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Peter: I am a nice person I think.
Wade: What the fuck? Of course you are—
Peter: BUT…
Wade:
Peter: I think that I’ll start throwing rocks at people who are mean to me.
Wade:
Wade: Marry me.
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pool-spidey · 2 years
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ungrateful-sneeze · 6 months
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Peter: *bored in his apartment so he turns on the news*
The news: “New York and the world are in mourning as Spider-Man was seen last night being stabbed in the head by pole. The city has been setting up memorials for the hero and-“
Peter: …
Wade: *bursts through his window, still wearing Peters suit and still with the pole in his head* ok, so I know you said not to take the suit…
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fandomnerd9602 · 9 months
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Y/N, Spideypool, approaches Miguel…
Y/N: so you like Lego Spidey the best?
Miguel: he’s our best guy
Y/N: and you hate Miles Morales
Miguel: I wouldn’t say hate-
Y/N: what about a Lego Miles Morales?
Lego Miles: hey guys
Miguel looks so conflicted…
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the-suicidal-lizard · 8 months
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Appealing
Matt: So are you two dating now? Peter & Wade: Yes. Matt: Why? Wade: I happen to find Peter very appealing. Matt: Yeah, I can understand that. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with Peter.
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emmedoesntdomath · 9 months
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wade, loudly clearing his throat and shaking out a VERY long sheet of paper: my dearest petey-pie
peter, glancing up: yes?
wade, assuming a strong stance like he’s about to serenade him: my dearest spidey-poo, words cannot express my adoration for you, nor my dedication to your side. nay, but I shall attempt anyways. your hair is silky like a really nice pillow, your eyes as deep as a river. your nose was drawn by the gods, and your mouth was painted with a rose. 
peter, turning to wade’s literal girlfriend, eyes wide: you aren’t going to stop him???
vanessa, wade’s aforementioned literal girlfriend, turning the page in her book: if I stop him now, he’ll just start over
wade, getting louder: YOUR HANDS-
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norahdevore · 20 days
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peter: wade is my friend, i don't understand why you can't accept that!
tony: oh i don't know, maybe because he KILLS PEOPLE
peter: but... you kill people
tony: that's- different.
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Peter: I need your help. Wade(immediately): Great, who are we killing? I won't do kids, that's a rule. But that rule is negotiable if the kid's a dick.
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49311grayson · 2 months
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[Spideypool] Problem
Peter: You know, not every problem can be solved with a katana.
Wade: That's why I carry two katanas.
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kaethefangirl · 3 months
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Wade, hanging off of Avenger's Tower: Brother, help me!!!
Peter: Long. Live. The King.
The Avengers watching from the cameras: ...
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siriuslyli · 1 year
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Wade: *sends Peter a selfie with rows of empty seats in the background*
Wade, texting: look at all those people wanting to date you.
Peter: Wade, you're in the picture.
Wade: Did I fucking stutter?
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headcanonthings · 1 year
Conversation
Wade: Just out of curiosity, what number am I on your speed dial?
Peter: 7
Wade: What are the first six?
Peter: Take out
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pool-spidey · 2 years
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lukas-dusk · 5 months
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Peter : did you tell everyone we're dating?
Wade : Yes, Petey. I have no self control and I told everyone we're dating.
Peter : OK, no need for sarcasm.
Wade : No, seriously. I have no self control and told everyone that we know, from Avenger, fantastic four, X-men, and the Sinistres Six.
Peter : THE SINISTRES SIX ?!
Wade : and the daily bugle...
J. Jonah Jameson on TV : Spiderman is dating Deadpool! Another proof that he is not a hero!
Wade : I'm sorry...
Peter is regretting is life choice
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