Kallus needs money
Kallus: I need money, so i decided to sell my grandma's old cheesecake recipe.
Zeb, trying to flirt: I love cheesecake!
Ezra: You are lactose intollerant.
Zeb: Yes, but I love the idea of it.
25 notes
·
View notes
Pelleon: "Sir, the report you requested."
Thrawn: "Ah, thank you Captain, it's from Leiutenant Vanto, I asked him to describe Grand Moff Tarkin for me"
Pelleon: "Oh, what did he say, sir?"
Thrawn: "He's as skinny as a pencil, as smart as a whip, and possibly the scariest man currently living"
Pelleon: "Very accurate sir, I must say the first time I met him, I thought he was already dead and just assumed nobody could tell the diffrence, scared me shitless when he suddenly started talking"
20 notes
·
View notes
Sith!Obi-Wan, holding a detonator: I’ll give you thirty minutes to say your goodbyes before I blow you to smithereens
Cody: Can I get a different kind of blow?
Fox: *turns and stares at him*
Cody: … I said that out loud-
Fox: YOU SAID THAT OUT LOUD
Rex, to Sith!Obi-Wan: You can skip the countdown, just kill us
4K notes
·
View notes
If Jedi had TikTok
So I was imagining a TikTok trend that would basically just be the Jedi/Padawans looking all presentable and perfectly Jedi perfect ™ saying “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” and then immediately cutting to whatever chaos they are currently engaged in, for example:
• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Qui Gon says, immediately before being shown adopting another ‘pathetic life form’ that may will cause them trouble later
• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Obi Wan says, before decapitating a battle droid behind him without even looking at it
• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Anakin says, as he replaces all of Windu’s regular caff with decaf
• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Ashoka says, as she helps Fives and Hardcase balance a bucket of glitter above Rex’s doorway
• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Plo says, as he forces encourages C3-PO to tell Wolffe his latest tales of woe™ and R2 drama
• “Jedi, we are; keepers of the peace, our responsibility is.” Yoda says, before telling several younglings that if they keep copying the Temple Guards they’ll freeze and get stuck that way
• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Quinlan says, then just… you know, exists how he does
• “We’re Jedi, we’re impartial peacekeepers” Plo Koon says, sprinkling ‘How to Unionize’ pamphlets around the barracks like confetti
• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Obi Wan says, before arguing politely engaging with every political figure in the room just for the heck of it
• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Leia says, before teasing the man breaking her out of a literal cell in the middle of space about his height
• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Luke says, before replacing Han’s hair gel with glue
• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Kanan says, calmly to the camera, before proceeding to promptly turn around and scream “SHUT THE KRIFF UP I SWEAR TO FORCE I WILL MURDER YOU ALL IF YOU DONT GO TO SLEEP RIGHT NOW”
• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Ezra says, as he sprints away from Zeb who is quite suddenly and mysteriously COVERED in hair dye (thanks, Sabine!)
2K notes
·
View notes
Permission to be vulnerable in this torture dungeon. Do you guys even like me
Jacen Solo, New Jedi Order
27 notes
·
View notes
He never dies!!
Obi-Wan, at Maul's funeral: I need a moment with him.
Everyone: Of course. *They leave*
Obi Wan, leaning over Maul′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.
Maul, ignights his lightsaber: Yeah, no shit.
2K notes
·
View notes
obi-wan, screaming at anakin mid battle: ibic cuyir an jorcu be gar!!
anakin, sighing: yeah i know
cody: when did you learn mando'a?????
anakin: i didn't. i just know the phrase "this is all your fault" in every language obi-wan speaks.
4K notes
·
View notes
Obi-Wan: So... Cody and I are very close.
Cody: Very, very close.
Anakin: Well, I know. You are very good friends.
Cody: We're not friends.
Anakin : What???
Obi-Wan: Cody! Of course we're friends! It's just that there's something else as well.
Anakin: What else do you do?
Obi-Wan : I don't know how to explain this to you...
Cody : Your master and I sleep together.
Obi-Wan : Cody!
Anakin : That's all? I thought you wanted to tell me something important.
Obi-Wan: I thought you'd react differently.
Cody : Me too.
Anakin : Why? Rex and I do that too.
Obi-Wan : What?
Cody : What?!
Anakin: Fives and Echo joined us last time. It's happened before that Jesse and Hardcase come too.
Cody : WHAT?!
Anakin : It's rare, but Kix also comes to join us sometimes.
Obi-Wan : Oh my god! Anakin! I didn't raise you like that!
Cody : I'm going to be sick...
*2 hours later*
Anakin: I don't understand their reaction, Rex! We didn't do anything wrong!
Rex: I don't know, sir. Maybe sleeping in the same tent as his general is forbidden.
Anakin : What? Even when it's very cold? That's ridiculous! Sharing a tent is the best idea to avoid freezing to death!
Rex : I know, sir. Their reactions are strange.
Kix : Maybe it's because General Kenobi and Commander Cody weren't talking about sharing a tent?
Anakin : What were they talking about then?
Kix :
1K notes
·
View notes
Crosshair: I hate you.
Omega: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is simply untrue.
1K notes
·
View notes