[During the Stray Kids pre-debut show]
Minho: I didn’t understand why people care so much for their dumb friends until I got a dumb friend myself.
Minho: *Picks Jisung up*
Minho: I’ve only befriended Jisung for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and myself.
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Hyunjin: PEASANT. I REQUIRE SUSTENANCE.
Chan: You know there are other ways to say you want McDonalds.
Hyunjin: FOUL PLEBEIAN. YOU DARE SPEAK AGAINST ME—
Chan: sigh What do you want?
Hyunjin: Chicken nuggets please.
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Bang Chan: [fully immersed in his work, editing music and writing song lyrics]
Jisung: [upside down on the couch] do you think ducks have feelings?
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Kidnapper: I have taken your kid hostage.
Chan: Which one? I have seven.
Kidnapper: The loud and annoying one.
Chan: Which one? I have seven.
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chan, picking up the phone: what’s wrong?
jisung: why do you always ask that? just because i’m calling it doesn’t mean something’s wrong!
chan:…
jisung: so anyway, can you come home? hyunjin joined a cult
jeongin, in the background: WE NEED AN ADULT!!
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Chan : Hey , what's wrong buddy ?
Minho : *drunk crying as he pets like 5 different cats* I don't have enough hands
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Chan : are you ok? What are you doing
Felix, rocking back and forth violently : my abSOLUTE FUCKING BEST
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Chan: *wears a slightly lighter shade of black*
Seungmin: I see you're really busting out the spring colors
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Minho: WHO ATE MY YOGURT!?
Minho: I'M GOING TO FUCKING K-
Jisung: I did?
Minho: kiss you and buy some more, you honestly haven't been eating enough today sung *walks away*
Jisung: he's gone hyunjin
Hyunjin, coming out of the closet with yogurt stuffed in his mouth: twankh uh
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Some Stays:
"Lee Minho doesn't speak a word of English; he is lost and scared at all times. If you ask him about tour dates in America, he will start violently shaking and needs to be swaddled like a baby. Never hand him a can of Coke without translating the logo, he will NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS."
Other Stays:
"Lee Minho is fluent in English but hides it in case he needs to spy on foreign powers. He has two middle names, and they're "Merriam" and "Webster". He personally invented the English language when he was 6 years old, but chooses not to speak it because the Latin alphabet tastes bad."
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Minho: This is a dispatch article. On the home page, there’s a picture of me kissing Jisung by the lake.
Chan: Why were you kissing Jisung by the lake?
Minho: I caught a fish, I was excited. I kissed the fish too, but of course they don’t show you that.
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Felix: When I said bring me something back from the beach I meant like a conch shell!
Hyunjin: Struggling to hold a seagull Fucking say that next time!
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Felix: I love you guys, you’re the best that’s ever happened to me
Jisung: we’re the best thing that’s ever happened to you?
Felix: yes
Seungmin: I’m starting to feel a little sorry for you
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I.N: How do you deal with stress?
Minho: Well I don't go to therapy, but on Saturdays I smoke a lot of weed and give my cat some catnip, and we talk about life. It's basically the same thing.
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