#incorrect the untamed quotes

[incorrect-web-novels]

Nie Mingjue: NONSENSE! The Nie Sect doesn't even know the meaning of the word "surrender"!

Nie Huaisang: But we're willing to learn!

[twenty-orange-balloons]

Lan Xichen, helping his brother practice interview questions: What do you imagine yourself doing in 5 years?

Lan Wangji: Wei Ying.

Lan Xichen:

Lan Xichen: Let me rephrase, where do you imagine yourself in 5 years?

Lan Wangji: Married to Wei Ying.

Lan Xichen:

Lan Xichen: Okay, other than Wei Wuxian, what do you imagine your life will be like in 5 years?

Lan Wangji: Traveling often.

Lan Xichen: Grea-

Lan Wangji: -with Wei Ying.

Lan Xichen: You're never getting a job.

Lan Wangji: I will just travel with my husband, Wei Ying.

Lan Wangji: And our son.

[confusedgoldenflower]

XY, finding a pad of A-Qing’s: what is this? A secret!? I love secrets. Tell me.

A-Qing: no, fuck off!

XY, grinning wryly: so it IS a secret. Ooohhh tell me! Who is it about?—*gasp* have you done soemthing unrighteous? It’s about time, I must say.”

A-Qing, fighting him for it: it’s nothing to do with you. Stop being a nosy son of a dick and fuck off!!

XY: not until you tell me!

A-Qing: maybe I would if you let it go!

XY: I never let go of anything!

A-Qing: fine *lets go* It’s—

XY: AHAHAHA VICTORY *holding it in his mouth like a mad dog bc he’s a sore loser and sore winner*

A-Qing:… I don’t think I want it anymore…

[lovewanxian]

Lan Wangji: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

Wei Wuxian, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

A-Yuan, whispering: Because I have little hands.

Wei Wuxian to Lan Wangji: Because he has little hands.

[twistedappletree]

wei wuxian: *appears with a screeching murder of crows, creepy black tendrils sprouting out of his body, glowing red eyes and a corpse-summoning hell flute*

lan wangji: move in with me

[uncorrectintamed]

Lan Xichen: Just be casual. Try some light flirting.

Lan Wangji: Okay. I can do that.

[Later]

Wei Wuxian: Nice work! High Five!

Lan Wangji: [intertwines their fingers]

Wei Wuxian: Wh-

Lan Wangji: I'm in love with you.

[nixster627]

Wei Wuxian: What's your type?

Lan Wangji: Kind, smart and also dumb, brave, a good fighter.

Wei Wuxian: That kinda sounds like me. Too bad I'm not a woman.

Lan Wangji: Did I mention dumb?

Wei Wuxian: Yes.

Lan Wangji: Good. Just making sure.

[theineffableoystercatcher]

Wei Wuxian: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives Lan Wangji: I wake up at 5am Wei Wuxian: Wei Wuxian: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

[wangxian-the-zhijis]

Lwj: *softly* ouch…

Wwx: What happened?!

Lwj: Nothing. I just nicked my finger while cleaning Bichen.

Wwx: Aw, here. *kisses his finger*

Lwj: What’s that for?

Wwx: Shijie does that to me! It’s supposed to make you feel better!

—Later—

Lwj: Brother, may I ask you to please punch me in the mouth?

Lxc: … Brother???

Jwy: Can I volunteer?

(Insp.)

[mxtx-incorrect-quotes]

Lan Xichen: Do you mind if I slyly mention that you’re single?

Lan Wangji: Do not do that.

Lan Xichen: You won’t even notice!

Wei Wuxian, entering: Zewu-Jun, you wanted to see me again?

Lan Xichen: Wangji's single

Lan Wangji:

[lucky-cat-13]

Nie Huaisang: I'm gonna need a human skull and you can't ask any questions.

Wei Wuxian: Only if you also don't ask why.

Wei Wuxian: *pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick.

Nie Huaisang: ...

Wei Wuxian: ...

Nie Huaisang: This one is fine.

[incorrect-web-novels]

Lan Wangji: What if we went to dinner... not as friends? Wei Wuxian: AS ENEMIES???

[twenty-orange-balloons]

Xue Yang: Tsk, all my selfies make me look like a serial killer.

A-Qing, under her breath: I wonder why.

[confusedgoldenflower]

Imagine Xue Yang getting Hanahaki disease

XY: *hacking*

A-Qing: (omg wtffffff)

XXC: you ok?

XY, panicking: YES IM JUST DEAD

XXC, checking Shuanghua: ... no?

XY: ....

XXC:...

A-Qing: *gazing upon the carriage wreck*

XY: ...

XXC: are you-

XY: YES IM SURE. ILL TAKE ONE OF YOUR LUNGS IF YOU KEEP PRESSING ME *storms away in repressed but also selfish, confused gay*

XXC: ... I mean, do you need it?

[lovewanxian]

Lan Wangji: I can love a person and still admit when they're wrong. I love Wei Ying but can acknowledge his flaws (he has none) and can hold him accountable for his wrongdoings (he's never done anything wrong in his life) and call him out for his actions (which are always correct)

[elvencantation]

Wei Ying: my fetish is saying some incredibly stupid shit and watching Lan Zhan speedrun the five stages of grief as he realizes with horror that he still wants to fuck me