#incorrect wednesday quotes

[sxphr]

Weems, walking into her office: What-

Wednesday, walking in behind her: Well, this seems like a bit of a predicament.

Weems:

Wednesday, holding her hands up: It wasn't me.

Weems: Wednesday, my office is filled with stop signs.

Weems: I have so many questions.

[prefer-to-be-vilified]

Wednesday: *is being arrested*

Enid: Wow. God forbid women do anything these days.

Sheriff Galpin: Kid your friend-

Wednesday: She’s my girlfriend you intolerant shit.

Thing: H-O-M-O-P-H-O-B-E

Sheriff Galpin: I’m not- whatever, your girlfriend just landed four grown men in the hospital.

Enid: And… She looked good doing it.

Wednesday: They deserved it. One of them told me to smile.

Enid: You tell him baby.

Sheriff Galpin: You know what? I can’t with… whatever this is. She’s free to go and officially your problem.

Enid: Yay!

Wednesday: *pausing mid-escape and casually handing the sheriff broken handcuffs* Miserable-night Sheriff.

Sheriff Galpin: *whispering* I hate you.

Wednesday: *also whispering* I’m glad.

Enid: Hurry up babycakes, I need my cuddle buddy.

Wednesday: *smirking* Coming Amore.

[unsaid-nevermore]

enid: i'm asking permission to marry your daughter.

gomez: what is this, the dark ages? you know what? since you’ve asked, no you can’t. beat me in a duel first.

[wednesdayorwhatever]

Enid: I have an excellent gaydar. If someone’s gay, I can always tell within-

Thing: Wednesday’s in love with you

Enid: w h a t

[writerswho]

Wednesday: Enid texted me “your adorable” so I texted her back and said “no, YOU’RE adorable.”

Eugene: And?

Wednesday: And now we’re dating. We’ve been on six dates. All I did was point out a typo, but I like her, so I’m not gonna say anything.

[nothingbettertodotoday]

enid: man sure is dark in here. wednesday: enid: i'm not scared or anything. wednesday: enid: i mean who is scared of the dark these days? not me no sir. wednesday: do you want me to hold your hand? enid: yes please.

[callmefirefly]

Enid: What time is it?

Wednesday: I don’t know, pass me my cello and we’ll find out.

Wednesday: *Plays the cello loudly and extremely out of tune*

Xavier: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE CELLO AT TWO IN THE MORNING?!

Wednesday: It’s 2 am.

[sqwirrl]

Officiant: If anyone objects to this wedding, speak now or forever hold your peace

Wednesday: *Death glares at everyone*

Enid: She has a knife

Wednesday: several knives

Enid: She has several knives

Wednesday: and a hand grenade

Enid: Mom please don’t say anything

[gmarseln]

Wednesday: who else here thought Enid was my girlfriend?

Wednesday: Enid, put your hand down.

[wednesdayaddams4president]

Wednesday: You named your boat the Black Cat.

Enid: Yes.

Wednesday : So...you like cats?

Enid: Yes?

Wednesday : *intense eye contact while slowly pushing a glass off the table*

[prefer-to-be-vilified]

Enid: Dude can I borrow your jacket? I’m cold.

Wednesday: *affronted* Your tongue’s been in my mouth. Please refrain from calling me dude.

Enid: Sorry. My mistake.

Enid: *clears throat, tenderly cups Wednesday’s face* Babycakes, sweetheart, cutie can I, the love of your life, please borrow your jacket before I freeze to death?

Wednesday:

Wednesday: *blushing glaring while handing Enid her jacket* …dude is fine.

[ragzonacamrencruise]

Enid: Babe, babe, do the thing!

Wednesday: [Genuinely smiles]

Enid, breathlessly: oh my god..

[wednesdayorwhatever]

Wednesday: Enid, when I die, you have to die too.

Wednesday: None of this “she would want you to move on and be happy”.

Wednesday: No, I wouldn’t. Get in the casket.

Enid:

[fruity-forest-dweller]

Wendesday: I just want you to know that you mean a lot to me, and if the need arose I would kill someone for you.

Enid: Yeah, uh, no offence. I've watched you garrotte someone over a grape. That doesn't mean much coming from you.

Wednesday: I'd die for you?

Enid: I've read your diary. That also doesn't mean much. Also you should probably see a therapist.

Wednesday: I'd let go of a long-standing grudge for you.

Enid: Awwe!

[that-was-a-bit-stupid-of-you]

Enid: *sees someone commit a murder in the distance* what a psychopath

Enid: *realizes it's Wednesday*

Enid: wait that's MY psychopath-

[lovotomita]

Enid, giggling: what word has the most letters in it?

Wednesday: I believe the longest word is Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

Enid:….mailbox. The answer is mailbox