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#inkling of liking each other lmfao
rigginsstreet · 2 years
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Every time I read about season 4 I feel like I’ve been gaslit by the crazy people in this fandom and I’m just stepping out of a cult and being deprogrammed
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unalivejournal · 10 months
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imagine a tumblr simulator set in the velvet goldmine universe lmfao
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🎹 wilderatz Follow
DNI if you still support br*an sl*de after the shooting hoax. what he did was fucking unacceptable and pathetic. the panic and heartbreak on the dashboard that day was absolutely traumatizing. and the fact that it was all for cheap publicity makes it even more despicable. if you HAVE to listen to his records the least you could do is buy them secondhand
#so glad curt never cut that record with him
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⭐️ glittersisgay
i got new boots! seeing the flaming creatures tonight :-) life is good
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👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏼 wildemons Follow
sorry but the sladewild narrative is CRAAAAZY. like imagine you start off as a nobody performer and becoming enthralled by this rockstar after he shows up your act and you end up becoming famous by being inspired by his stage presence AND YOU BECOME FAMOUS ENOIGH TO GO TO AMERICA AND MEET THIS GUY AND YOUR LABELS START FABRICATING A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN U TWO TO GENERATE PUBLICITY FOR YOUR NEW ALBUM BUT THEN YOU ACTUALLY FALL IN LOVE AND HAVE TO KEEP IT A SECRET BUT THEN THE PAPARAZZI FINDS OUT AND YOU HAVE A HUGE FALLING OUT BUT THEN A FEW WEEKS LATER YOURE SPOTTED IN THE CROWD AT THE DEATH TO GLITTER SHOW
♻️ 🦷 roxytunes Follow
lmfao WHAT are you talking about. swear to god i’m sick of you invasive freaks trying to make things up about real peoples lives. the part about the labels trying to market slade and wild as a couple isn’t even true. yes they were heavily publicized as close friends but they never admitted to being in a relationship. also receipts on brian being at the death to glitter show???? stop spreading false information
♻️ 👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏼 wildemons Follow
anyways watch out for my new sladewild maxwell demon tour era fic that will be published in my next zine 💋
#my mutual was literally next to him in the crowd.
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🪩 girlboydragdemon
at the Sombrero Club with the glamrocktuals YAYYYY
♻️ 🪩 girlboydragdemon
Hangover.
#we may have made. mistakes. #also we think brian slade’s former manager was in the booth behind us
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🌟 venusinpurrs
♻️ 🎸 balladofmaxwellsemen Follow
WHY ARE WE PITTING THREE BAD BITCHES AGAINST EACH OTHER
♻️🌟 venusinpurrs
better question WHY ARE VENUS IN FURS LOSING GUYS CMON ITS OBVIOUSLY THE RATS
♻️🌟 venusinpurrs
do you people hate dykes
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💋 jack-fairy-fan51 Follow
Anyone else feel like this Tommy stone guy showed up out of nowhere?
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❇️ 20th-cxntury-bxy
Well…. it’s been a fun time on the road with Malcolm & co. (@/theflamingcreatures) but in the months following the hoax and the death to glitter tribute I’ve been feeling more and more inclined to move on. idk. i know there’s still an active tumblr community but in the real life scene it feels like everyone’s just…. given up. I’ll be starting a new job soon and won’t have a lot of time to post. Might delete this blog in the near future. remember to support local shows and keep being yourself
#a.journal
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👨‍🎤 lipstickkissedelbowglove
word on the street is that mandy slade divorced brian???? lmao get his ass
♻️👨‍🎤 lipstickkissedelbowglove
[#finally i have a chance with her]
you’re funny if you think any of us on this site have an inkling of a chance with her
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🎸 balladofmaxwellsemen Follow
Just found this on the sidewalk. does anyone know what it is?
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apollon2006 · 4 months
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[Royal Rivalry]
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If Sukuna was an inkling and met Emperor, I feel like they'd start to have a seriously intense rivalry with each other considering the fact that they'd be competing against each other in Turf Wars as kings lmfao
The matches would be insane.
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toomuchracket · 7 months
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HI you posted a blurb earlier talking about how flatmate girlie is the girl in the robbers music video and comes up on stage for robbers kisses BEFORE they’re dating - any thoughts on how both parties would react/feel after these kisses?? surely they’d get some inkling that the other likes them after kisses like those??? I need to know how they cope hahaha and if they discuss the kisses after they’re together
i think it mostly happens after you're together, the special guest moment, but maybe at the first gig after the video comes out matty takes your hands in his backstage and says "we don't have to if it makes you uncomfortable, but i think it would be kinda fun if you come out during robbers and we kiss like in the video. everyone would freak out, i reckon, it'd be amazing. but like i said, darlin, only if you want to". and like DUH matty's asking to kiss you - of course you're agreeing! you'll just deal with the agony about the fact it isn't real later lol. anyway, it happens, the crowd go wild, and the way matty kisses you then smiles so tenderly before GOING IN FOR ANOTHER has you genuinely questioning if he feels the same way you do; while you're mostly convinced he doesn't (you fool), thinking about that kiss kinda chips away your belief that your feelings are unrequited over the next four months (until condom-gate). you start to notice the little things he does with you and nobody else - the casual head kisses, the overuse of pet names, the way his eyes sparkle when he looks at you, far more intently than he does with anybody else. as for matty... he dreams that you love him back, but he doesn't believe it like you do with him; never mind the fact you literally sighed softly into his mouth and weaved your hands into his hair when he kissed you, that was surely you playing it up for the performance because you know how seriously he takes it all (idiot boy). he does tell you you're a good kisser after it, though, "the best", but that's the extent of the discussion at that point before you go off and respectively spiral lmfao. now, you both just laugh about how stupid you were to not realise you were in love with each other - especially matty, who only clocks that he was not in fact being delulu when you actually properly kiss him romantically for the first time and it's exactly the same as it was onstage lol. it's all very cute <3
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we-are-inevitable · 8 months
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5, 11 and 22 for the ask game <33
5. Rare headcanons you love?
ohhhhh god…. the headcanon that davey and jack knew of each other before davey became a newsie. bc jack likely would have seen him while selling, and davey would hear stories of the wild newsboys- i think that them having some inkling of who they are, only for their perceptions of each other to be altered as time goes on… i love it. i also love the headcanon that davey plays the drums. mostly we see him as being a piano player- which i love as well- but thinking about davey playing something that’s seemingly disruptive is rlly fun when you think about how disruptive he Feels he is. yeah.
11. What would you change about the source material if you could?
GIVE DAVEY A SOLO SONG. also i think that exploring kath’s role would be better if it was about the class status instead of man vs. woman. bc obviously that is integral to her character, but when you consider kath’s status as a wealthy woman and her intentions helping out the poor orphan boys,,, i think a lot could be done there
22. What is your favorite topic to write about?
i really love. characterization. that’s not necessarily a topic but like,, i love writing about out-of-character things and making connections to make them IN character. like davey being a drag queen or a drug addict lmfao. also general mental health issues and the ugly sides of that are very fun to write !!’
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sevlawless · 2 years
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16, 23, 25 for nate and felicity <333
TY FOR THE QUESTIONS BESTIE <333 MWAH !
couple questions!
16. how do they react when the other is upset? how do they try to help?
nate gets upset for felicity tbh LMFAO but he is always so quick to reassure her no matter what's happening. stressful day at work? tomorrow will be better. let me start a warm bath for you. bad hair day? no such thing ur hair is so pretty <3 let me brush it for you. overthinking to no end about their relationship? you're the only girl for me. let me list the ways you complete me LMFAO
felicity absolutely hates when nate is upset and she will try her hardest to help. whether that's by just listening to the problem, giving him a hug, making him his favorite tea to soothe him, WHATEVER helps she will do it no hesitation.
23. what was their first impression of each other?
felicity: oh my god he's gorgeous and so nice WHAT is the catch. there isn't one hehe
nate: her smile is so pretty i have to see it again.
25. who said "i love you" first?
this has been eating me alive since i first saw it LMFAO BUT ! ultimately i think nate will say it first, but felicity has loved him long before he said it </3 she would honestly rather die than say something that intimate and for him to not feel the same. but they r both so similar in this i feel, so i feel like when "i love you" is finally said between them they'll both pretty much have an inkling by then.
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yatgb · 2 years
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tagged by da bestie @theghostofashton thank u muah muah <3
rules: post the first lines of your last 10 fics posted to ao3. if you have less than 10 fics posted, post the first lines of all your fics.
Are yall ready 4 a lot of splatoon LMFAO
How Did We Get Here? (Splatoon)
Neither Three nor Eight knew how it happened, but it happened to both of them at the same time.
That little critical moment of staring into each other's eyes, seeing a confession but hearing nothing but ink rushing in their ears. The heavy heartbeats, the stammered words… a confession.
And then Three was standing outside Callie and Marie's shared apartment before they could even register what they had just done.
The Epic Highs And Lows Of Fighting For Your Life (Splatoon)
Neo had an okay life. It was a far stretch from perfect, and he'd never call it comfortable, but it was better than what some people had.
Life in Splats Valley was never comfortable, but you could have a tent, a campfire, a Stringer, and enough scrap to turn in so you could eat for the night. If you were really lucky, you'd have a friend or two to scavenge with.
Neo was alone, but he was fine with that. His tent only suited one anyway, and the five logs around his campfire were for retaining heat more than anything. His Stringer served him better than anyone else he bumped into. At least his Stringer didn't tell him to go back to the canyon he crawled out of, or hike up the meal prices whenever he was–
"Next in line!"
Is It A Double Date If It's At Your House? (Splatoon)
It was nearing 6 PM by now, and the smell of popcorn wafted through the apartment. Three had been busying themself with setting up bowls of snacks while Eight got the living room tidy. Afternoon sun shone on the buildings outside their windows, sending calm orange into the living room. The overhead light was turned off in favor of the large bendy lamp that sat next to the TV, and the only other light source came from the white LEDs by the bar, to light up the kitchen. Eight had finished vacuuming, and was now just chatting away with Pearl on her laptop to pass the time while— "This way!" A popcorn kernel clocked Eight in the back of the head. "Ow!" Eight jerked in her seat, whirling around to see Three with a cheeky smirk, leaned over the counter in the kitchen. "Three! What was that for?"
Three laughed and waved their arm to say come here! I've been trying to get your attention!
Thank You For Shopping At MakoMart (Splatoon)
Hello! Welcome to MakoMart!" An Inkling by the door greeted. "Hi!" Eight cheered back with a grin. Three just hummed and nodded as they pushed on with their cart. Even with an eyepatch and facemask covering most of their face, Eight could see the exhaustion in their remaining eye. She knew the time limit of thirty minutes was just so Three didn't lose their mind in the bright noisy supermarket.
warm like the riverside (Splatoon)
"Ouch..." Eight paused her fingers over the muddied skin on Three's neck. "I know it's hurting," she mumbled, "but it shouldn't get… infected." That was the word, right? Right. Three's affected eye squinted at her, their mouth quirked in thought. Then, they just snuffed out another, "Ouch." Eight knew that meant it still hurts, and I'm still going to complain. They didn't seem to like the bright overhead light, either, but it was just so Eight could see what she was doing.
arms tonite (Splatoon)
Plummeting. Falling. Spinning around in the air with nothing to catch her. In her arms, clutched to her chest with all the force she can muster, is a limp body with no hope of waking up. Through the tears, she watches their deaths come closer and closer. A churning lethal mix of red ocean water and black ink (or is it black water and red ink? It's hard to tell). There is no land in sight. She knows she's going to die. She knows there is no hope. She knows the girl in her arms will never wake up again, and the very thought of that last notion is what draws her final noise out of her throat; a broken sob, as she hugs the girl's head tighter to her chest.
Nightwalks (Canterwood Crest)
"I hope you know I hate everything about this.” Heather regarded Sasha with a cocked eyebrow she could hardly see. "Then why'd you come along?" Heather's arms were crossed tightly over her chest, her scowl as dark as the new moon above her and Sasha as they trekked through one of the school's many riding trails. A warm Autumnal breeze swept through the rustling trees, and the 63 degree weather tonight only called for a light jacket, but the temperature was the least of both of their concerns. Sasha scoffed, crossing her own arms. "Well, it's not like I could ignore you dragging me out of my dorm by the wrist."
white noise (CrownARG)
Stop moving, dammit. He stared at his trembling fingers laying flat on the countertop. Stop. Moving. No matter how many times he willed them to stop, his fingers shook. It was a tremor he'd noticed ever since he caught a moment to breathe, and one he couldn't stop noticing. Even when he clenched his hands into fists, even when he'd flap his arms and shake his wrists until they were sore, even when he had a million other things to focus on.
lips speak louder (better back together) (EmpiresSMP)
Something woke Katherine up, a touch. A gentle stroking of her cheek, the feeling of her head against something soft– definitely not the brittle Netherrack she collapsed upon. She woke up, but didn't open her eyes. She couldn''t find the strength to, between her parched throat and aching muscles. And then, at her lips, a cool running sensation dribbling down her chin and neck. Water? She dumbly thought. But I'm in the Nether. There's no water here. Am I—? She sucked in a breath too quickly, and paid the price with a coughing fit as water flew from her mouth. She shot up with a jolt, coughing and holding her throat as she worked herself into a sitting position.
drag me (outta my room) (EmpiresSMP)
Warm mornings were the most common for Joel. He doesn't mind being warm– in fact, he wouldn't rather be anything else. Sure, they'd have to kick off the blankets for it to be bearable, and wear only the thinnest of T-shirts and gym shorts, but in Joel's eyes those are the best pajamas.
Im bad at tagging ppl so ujjjhhhhh whoever wants 2 do this <3<3
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kiwixlime · 2 years
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Between You and I - Part Five
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Halfway there!!! This update is shorter than I anticipated but if I added everything I had planned I would never update lmfao. So if it seems a little out of place it's because I omitted a lot of stuff. But don't worry! I have some exciting things planned for future updates!! I hope you enjoy and as always, thank you so much for reading, sharing, letting me know your thoughts. It means so much to me!! 18+ Minors DNI
Three weeks. Three whole weeks. That’s how long you and Joel have been seeing each other. You don’t know how to describe your relationship, and if someone asked, you wouldn’t know where to start. You don’t really go on dates, but you spend almost all of your free time together. 
You guess, in a word, you could say you’re exclusive. But Joel does not call you his girlfriend. And you would never refer to him as your boyfriend. Those labels would scare both of you. And they wouldn’t fit, anyway. What you and Joel have is beyond something as simple as boyfriend/girlfriend. It’s more intense. 
At least it is for you. 
Joel does call you his girl, though. And that is something you are perfectly fine with. You kind of are, after all. Even if no one really knows about you. Well, except Harmony. And Sophia. And Tommy, kind of. But only because Joel insists his brother has an "inkling". It’s nothing solid unless Joel confesses.  
But the most important thing is that you and Joel seem happy with your arrangement. You still have your own life. And Joel has his. You go out with Harmony; he spends time with Tommy. You work. Joel works. But at the end of the day, you make your way back to each other. 
It does scare you a bit because each day you spend with him, those feelings inside of you get stronger. Whenever you hear his voice, your heart skips a beat. Just one look into his eyes warms your soul. The way he touches you makes your stomach swarm with butterflies. 
Joel once told you that he was addicted to you. But now, you think you’re just as dependent. Joel’s your drug, and you need your fix. 
The only person you can talk about this with is Harmony. Your roommate may know of your small fling, but she doesn’t know how deep it runs. She doesn’t know that you feel like that lovestruck teenager again, only this time, you don’t have to shame yourself for wanting Mr. Miller. This time, you can have him. 
So that’s how you find yourself at Harmony’s place in the middle of the day, sipping peach sangria and listening to the weird acoustic playlist she uses to meditate. You never meant to interrupt her practice, but she welcomes you with open arms, ready for the gossip. Luckily for you, she has so many questions, and you are happy to answer and get some of these words off your chest. 
“So like, he’s good, right?” She giggles, and you don’t know if it’s the alcohol or her genuine curiosity that makes her face flush crimson, but her bubbly laughter rubs off on you, and you find yourself joining in. 
“He’s so good,” you sigh dreamily, giggling uncontrollably. “Harmony, he’s… Oh, my god. He’s so fucking hot.” You squeak and hide your face behind your hands. It's hard not to feel all tingly inside as you explain your relationship with Joel. In detail. Harmony doesn’t mind hearing the dirty details. She encourages it, which you are thankful for. Because you need to talk this man out of your system. 
Harmony smiles and fills her glass up again. Her face is still burning, and she looks like she has something on her mind. Of course, you aren't surprised when she asks the most important question of all. “Is he big?” Her cherry red cheeks glow as she waits patiently for the answer. 
“Yes,” you say, nodding your head slowly as her smile contorts into something ditzy. She's too drunk for this. But you kind of are, too. So you divulge a little more. “And he’s so into dirty talk,” you admit between giggles. “Seriously, I cannot believe some of the things he says. Or the things he does. It’s like…take our greatest fantasies of him and multiply them by a thousand.” 
“You lucky bitch,” she huffs, but that idiotic smile is still plastered to her face. It's a smile that tells you she’s happy for you. And it’s all because she knows you’re happy. She can see it on your face. Hear it in your voice. And after the rough couple of years you’ve had, this kind of happiness is something that you deserve. “Who knew Mr. Miller liked them young.” 
“Oh,” you cringe at her careless words. “Don’t say that. It makes him sound creepy," you frown. 
She raises her hands in defense. “You’re right, you’re right," she admits. She's coming down from her fit of laughter as she breathes out. "This is crazy, though, right? But I am so happy for you!”
“Really?” You question, your voice barely audible over the soundtrack of your afternoon. 
“Of course, girl,” Harmony voices, taking your hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “I mean, I know we always joked about him being our hot dad fantasy. But you are glowing. Not a pregnancy glow!” She rushes out, and you roll your eyes. “But you look different. You look like you again.” 
“I hate that it took a man…” You begin, gnawing on your lip at the insinuation. 
“It didn’t, though,” your friend assures you. “You’ve just been in a dark place. And Joel helped brighten it up. But you’ve done the rest on your own, honey.” 
“I’m scared, Harmony,” you say with a whisper. “It’s not just about the sex anymore. I think I’m really falling for him. And I know that it’s impossible. We’re impossible. It’ll never work. And I’m just…I’m so scared of how this is going to end.” 
Your voice cracks, and you do your best to hold back tears. But your emotions are all over the place lately. Stupid feelings, always ruining shit. 
“Hey,” Harmony glares, as she usually does when you’re feeling down on yourself. “You don’t know that. Stranger things have happened. Odd couples make it all the time. And yeah, Sarah’s someone you need to talk about. But I think it’ll be okay. We’ve known Joel since we were kids. He’s always been that great guy. I don’t think that’ll change.” 
“You believe that?” You ask as you wipe the tears from your eyes. You must look ridiculous. Crying over a boy. No, not even a boy. A man! But you’re not really crying over him. You’re crying because…because your heart gushes for him. 
Harmony offers a sympathetic smile, and you take it. You need it. She has no idea what you are going through. She got lucky with Elijah. She never had to date around. She never fell for someone unsuitable for her. But you still believe her when she comforts you. “I really do,” she answers you. “Something tells me you two will be fine.” 
She looks down at your phone, arching her eyebrows as it vibrates against her table again. You know it’s Joel. She knows it’s Joel. It’s the third time it’s gone off since you’ve started talking. And aside from her, you don't text anyone that much. It's only confirmed when the screen lights up, flashing Joel's name across it. 
“See what I mean?” She teases, sliding your phone across the table towards her. She grabs it before you can snatch it away. “Wow, five notifications, all from Joel. Someone is needy.” She shakes her head with a grin. 
“Harmony!” You threaten with grabby hands. “Give it back! He’s just having a bad day.” 
You tell her that it’s no big deal. You’ll answer back when you have a minute. You don’t mind letting it go so you can talk to her uninterrupted. She doesn’t care, though. She’s curious. 
“A bad day, huh?” She purses her lips as she enters your passcode. Your phone dances in her hands as it goes off again. She nearly drops it from surprise, but quickly catches it, her thumb opening the message without meaning to. Her eyes fall to the exchange between you and Joel and she wheezes. “Oh my god!” She yelps and tosses the device back over to you. “I did not mean to do that. I’m so sorry. Oh my god.” 
You take your phone back, giving her a strange look. Then you look down at your messages and see what made her so flustered. You suppress a giggle and hold your phone to your chest. “Well, that’s what you get!” You scold playfully. You pull your phone away and smile at the message thread and the last image attached. Joel Miller, grown man, father, and business owner, has sent you a dick pic. 
A nice one, too. 
“Wow,” she reddens, fanning her face with her hand, a wild look in her eyes. “Well, you weren’t lying,” she manages to choke out, still shocked by the photo. “He sends you nudes? How old is he!” 
“I told you, he’s having a bad day!” You defend as you get another message. This one even makes your face heat up. He’s filthy, even through text. 
Be at my apartment by the time I’m off work. Shit day. Need that sweet little pussy to make me feel better. 
“Oh god, what did he send now?” Harmony pushes, noticing the aroused look on your face. 
You don’t say anything, typing out a simple reply of “okay” with a winky face emoticon. Joel may be years older than you, but sometimes, he has the personality of a horny teen. And the string of emojis he sends to show his appreciation solidifies that fact. 
“Nothing,” you finally shrug and lock your phone, putting it away in your purse to avoid further embarrassment. “I just have a date tonight.” 
“A date,” she snorts, quotation marks around the word date. “Elijah always sexts me when he wants a date," she mocks. 
“Mhm,” you stick out your tongue and reach for your sangria. You raise your glass, and Harmony rolls her eyes but joins you in a toast. “To happiness,” you say with a satisfied smile. 
“To happiness,” Harmony replies as your glasses clink. 
-
The outside of Joel’s apartment is dull. The paint is a dark heather gray, and wall sconces are dimly lit. You feel like a creeper as you sit in front of his door. But you don’t have a key. And you were being the good girl you always are, doing as he requested and showing up at his apartment by the time he got off work. He's the one not following his own plan. 
The elevator finally dings, and you stand, brushing off your short skirt. You figured the look might impress Joel and make that tension lessen. You dressed up in a pretty package for him to unwrap. 
“You’re late,” you scold as soon as Joel steps foot off the elevator. He walks up to you, a pouty look on his lips and his head down. 
“I know, princess,” he sighs. “I’m sorry. Tommy held me back for a little to talk about this pain in the ass client. I tried to get away sooner, but he’s so damn chatty.” 
You laugh a little and bring your hands up to his shoulders. You press hard into his tensed muscles, rubbing deep patterns to help him relax. “It’s okay, you’re here now. Tell me what happened. Maybe I can make it better?” 
Joel grins and grabs your hips as you step up on your tiptoes. He pulls you up to him, kissing your soft, silky lips, and inhales deeply, breathing in your sweet, candylike scent. He brushes his hands down around your ass, up the frilly skirt you’re wearing, pleased and turned on to find you without panties. 
“Bad day, good girl,” he mumbles against your lips, backing you up against his front door. Your arms circle his neck, kissing him harder as he fumbles with his keys. You don’t let up until he gets the door unlocked and grabs you by the hair, forcing you to stop. “Don’t think my neighbors would approve of a show,” he says, nipping down to your neck. He glides one of his hands up your thigh, squeezing your ass possessively. “That and I don’t want anyone else to see you like this,” he whispers. 
You smile and tap on his shoulders, pouting up at him. “Then take me inside, Mr. Miller,” you purr, trailing your fingers down his chest. “You tease me all day with your dirty words and pretty pictures of your cock. Don’t you think I deserve a reward?” 
Joel smirks and forces open his door. You turn and bounce into the apartment, the sting of Joel’s hand against your ass making you giggle. He follows closely behind you, touching you wherever he can until you fumble your way into his bedroom. 
He flicks on the lights and moves you over to the bed. You kiss him again, desperate for his lips anywhere on you. He tastes like coffee, and it’s a flavor you hate, but god, it tastes delicious on him. You moan into his mouth, flicking your tongue against his as your fingers work to undo his stubborn belt. 
To your surprise, Joel swats your hands away. You complain, of course, which causes him to laugh. He pulls back and bops you on the nose, making you flinch. “So impatient, baby,” he says, cupping your face in his hands. “Maybe I just wanna talk, huh? You’re just so eager to hop on my dick.” 
“Hey!” You gasp, wiggling out of his hold. “We can talk if you want. I like talking to you,” you take his hands in yours, holding them tight. “But you’re the one who said something about an annoying client, and needing me to make you feel better… Or was it my pussy?” 
“Okay, you little shit,” Joel spins you around as you laugh. He grabs your hips roughly and pushes your knees against the mattress. “Get on the bed, ass in the air,” he says darkly, giving your bottom a smack for good measure. 
You do as you're told and climb onto the bed on all fours. Joel wastes no time as he pulls your ass up, pushing your head down against the mattress and lifting up your skirt. He groans at the sight of you and undoes his jeans. 
“Do you know how fucking perfect you are?” He asks, pulling his cock out and stroking himself slowly. You are such a pretty view. He's the luckiest guy in the world to have you. You're young, stunning, and in a way, you complete him. 
You nod wordlessly, pushing your ass out, begging for any kind of touch from him. You wish you could see Joel - see his expressions, the attractive look on his face as he touches himself. It’s not fair. 
But then he drops to his knees and grabs you by your hips, earning a gasp from your throat. You feel his warm hands caress your ass and let out a happy sigh, resting your forehead against his fluffy blankets. His wet tongue startles you, slipping between your folds, lapping up your sweetness. You groan as he licks up your slit, his rough beard tickling your sensitive skin as he goes. 
“Yes, Joel,” you whimper out, pushing back against his face. He encourages you, delving his tongue deeper inside you, pulling another erotic sound from your lips. You grab at the blankets on the bed, gritting your teeth together as you revel in Joel’s expert mouth working on your clit. 
He eats you out with intensity, starting slow and making you squirm until you drive back against him for more. Then he moves his skilled tongue quicker, dragging through your dripping core, gathering your slick on his lips. He moans at how good you taste, his hand dropping back down to his painfully hard dick. 
“Oh god, Joel,” you moan as his mouth teases your clit again. “Mr. Miller, please,” you whimper, spurring him on. He flicks his tongue inside you as a response, coaxing you to keep going. He likes when you praise him. He likes when you beg. “Fuck, just like that,” you mewl. 
Your noises are loud, sounding through the room, and Joel jerks himself faster at the way you cry out for him, burying his face into your cunt. You pant out his name, struggling to hold yourself up, nearly collapsing when he pushes a finger into you. These feelings are almost too much. You can barely take it, and when he hums into you, you begin to unravel. 
He breaks away from you for only a second, his finger still plunging in and out of you. “Go ahead, baby girl, cum on my tongue. Fuck, I wanna taste all of you. Give me everything.” And that’s enough. Joel presses his tongue back into you, and you tremble as your orgasm crashes over your body, making you cum all over Joel’s tongue. He groans and licks up all of your juices before standing back up, swatting your reddening ass cheeks again. 
His rough hands trail up the curves of your sides, and he slams his throbbing dick into you, knocking the air from your lungs. A strangled cry breaks free, and you crumple onto the bed. “Harder,” you groan into your arm, pushing for him to keep going. 
“Dirty girl,” he growls as he pulls your body up. Your back is firmly pressed to his chest. One of his hands holds your hip tightly while the other grabs your throat. “You like that?” He grunts, snapping up into you. “Like when I use you? Oh, princess,” he sighs, digging his fingers into the sides of your neck. “Feel so good… Best fuck I’ve ever had,” he compliments, pounding into your sensitive pussy hard and fast. 
“Yes,” is all you manage to breathe out as you lean back on him. He thrusts up into you, hitting deeper, your hand grabbing the one he has wrapped tightly around your throat. You feel powerless against him, like a doll he can throw around. But it turns you on the way his strong figure takes over your smaller frame, grabbing you, moving you into any position he wants. 
“You’re exactly what I needed,” he grumbles in your ear. “Needed this pretty pussy to fuck. Christ, you’re incredible.” He groans, holding your body as he picks up speed. “Fuck, and you’re mine, right? My girl?” You whimper, and he takes that as a yes, smiling into your hair. “Mr. Miller’s girl.”
“Fuck me,” you whine so desperately it almost sounds like you’re crying. Joel laughs at your exhaustion, and you groan. He’s so sexy it’s absurd. “Use me, Mr. Miller,” you beg, your mind cloudy and vision blurry. “Fuck me harder. I can take it. Give it to me.”
He tightens his grip on your throat and moves faster, just as you ask. You feel yourself getting dizzy, his hard dick so deep inside you and his hand on your throat sending you into ecstasy. Joel forces you to face him, panting in his mouth as he kisses you. Your lidded eyes meet his eyes, and you see something so different swimming in those hazel hues. You see adoration. 
Joel groans as he releases his grip on you, pushing you onto your hands and knees. You gasp hard for air, mewling when his hand slaps your ass hard. He’s really giving you his all, slamming into you with no mercy, forcing you to take his thick cock. You grab at the mattress and beg for more even though he’s given you everything. It just doesn’t seem like enough. You need this man more than you’ve ever needed anyone. 
“So good to me, baby girl,” Joel praises you. You hang your head down and seize your eyes shut. Another sting on your ass makes you moan out, and Joel grunts as your walls squeeze his cock. “My favorite girl, you know that? Always have been. Just now for different reasons.” 
His confession goes straight to your heart, making it beat faster. It’s too soon. Far too soon. But you’re falling in love with this man. You know you are. 
“Joel!” You cry out as he grabs your hair, tangling his fingers in it. The sound of his skin slapping against yours echoes through his room, and it’s such a fucking dirty sound that makes him fuck you harder. His mattress shamefully squeaks beneath you. The roots of your hair tingle from his grip, but it feels so good to be fucked like this. 
“You close, sweetheart?” He asks as you collapse onto the bed, concealing your face in your arms. Joel leans over you and bites your shoulder. “Are you gonna be a good girl and cum again for me?” 
“Yes, yes,” you gasp, and he pushes you down flat, grabbing your arms and pulling them behind you. He holds them back, drilling into you, moaning your name in a deep, raspy voice. 
“Mr. Miller,” you whimper, and he likes the sound so much that he growls and lowers himself against your back. His breath is hot on your neck as he pins your arms to the bed. 
“Yes, baby girl?” Joel purrs, sliding in and out of you quickly. “You wanna cum? You think you can cum just like this? Huh?” 
“Uh huh,” you moan, your head a mess, overwhelmed by pleasure. Joel sits up, grabbing your ass again because he can’t get enough of it. And you’re right there. Just one more push, and you’ll lose it. 
“So gorgeous, baby girl,” he says. And it's just what you need. His charming words send you over the edge, and you clench around him. He twitches and buries his face into your neck. “Can I cum inside you, baby? You know you look so pretty filled with my cum.” 
“Yes, please, Joel,” you gasp, tired, sweaty, and out of breath. With your consent, Joel thrusts into you one more time, shooting his load deep inside of you. 
Bright colors flash behind your eyelids as you come down from your high. Joel slips out of you and falls to your side, his arm eagerly wrapping around you and pulling you close. You can hear his heavy breathing and can sense how tired he looks. It makes a smile etch onto your lips. You open your eyes and blink over at him. 
“Are you okay?” He asks, much softer than his previous touches. He gently wipes your sticky hair from your face and traces your lips. “It wasn’t too much?” 
“I’m fine,” you assure him, though your cracked voice would suggest otherwise. “Why do you ask?” You roll closer to him, his hot skin prickling with sweat. Your bodies are searing, but you feel comfortable next to him.  
“Just makin’ sure I didn’t hurt you,” he says quietly. 
“Not at all,” you giggle, sitting up slightly to press kisses to his bare chest. “You can take your frustrations out on me if it means more sex like that,” you wink. 
“You’re filthy,” he snorts and sits up, urging you to follow. He slouches off the bed and pulls you up with him, your weak legs working hard. 
“I’m sorry you had a bad day,” you say as he leads you to the bathroom, hand linked with yours. 
“Fucking awful,” he scoffs as you stop at the shower. He rotates the nozzle, letting the water heat up. “But I’m so thankful to come home to you,” he says, and you’re not sure if he realizes that those words have a huge impact on you. “Thank you. Really, princess. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
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tinukis · 3 years
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ever just think about how alone barok is? he's been alone for YEARS without a trust in anyone. and his only friend, neither contacting each other, came back after 10 years, just for barok to send him off to germany again...
and ?? he went on hiatus for 5 years. i cant begin to imagine how this man felt. he will always have his life threatened...
ok asobaro talk time lmfao
and like... so is kazuma– he's alone now too. he's chosen to stay in britain while ryunosuke and susato returns to japan. i feel he's always chosen the option to be 'alone.'
but being forced into each other's companies, even months before barok's trial... was a huge thing really. and barok had an inkling about his apprentice. and despite that... he still treated him with respect.
now barok was about to retire, but kazuma stopped him and encouraged him to continue working as a prosecutor. and honestly? i'm really... glad he did that. and i feel deep down, barok really appreciates it. because i feel that kazuma saved his life in a way.
being in each others companies now, especially with the truth out will take some more time to get accustomed to. kazuma hasn't forgiven barok, but barok understands. and they've at least got mutual respect, so that's a big step for the two of them. still, i feel like their habits before kazuma's recovery never died down though. he would find himself looking after barok, but over time, he cares a lot more and more. and same vice versa.
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rigginsstreet · 3 years
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Bestie would you give us any hints about what's in store for the other partners for the class project fic 👉👈
ok i know im gonna have fp be stoned as shit. free period = smoke sesh thats just the laws of the universe. and i know im gonna have him come out to hal. and i know some other things but imma keep that quiet cuz it would ruin the fun lol
gladys and alice i plan on having physically fight lmfao thats just fun for me. i had one idea in mind.... but then i realized alices pregnancy would not line up with the timeline i created in this fic... and then i was like “ok well neither did the show” so idk what to do... i dont want kim to yell at me 😂
fred and mary i know the vibe is gonna be typical high school them like freds just vibing and marys annoyed as shit but... there are layers. i know that by the end of it marys gonna soften up to our boy frederick a lot and realize hes not just some lazy slacker. i also already know what picture shes gonna take of him (i also know fps and i have an inkling of hals i gotta figure out something more concrete tho but i know the vibe im going for)
those are the only ones i have plans for right now. i know hermione and penelope are gonna hate each other lol 
i have specific moments for the first 3 already in my head but i dont wanna spoil them but im also frothing at the mouth to tell someone so i guess i... gotta write faster.... this is so sad how do you do it...
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bittersweet netflix shadow and bone finale (s1 e8) rewatch; accoutrement: white wine with ice cubes in it (no YOU'RE a mom drink shh)
my wine's like fruity I love her
light and darkness title card we love to see it
Inej looking at Alina before she goes below deck to hide <3
okay that 'what can you really do on your own' was like not fun that shit hurted
okay but Jesper's 'not enough'? <3
oh no my baby Zoya's first inkling that Darkles does not really care
omg Helnik just appeared and I remembered how much heartbreak I have to face in this episode
gods I love Danielle as Nina so so much
'this can't be it' said she with her pleading smile with downturned eyebrows MA'AM I-
don't break my dumb little heart
I might hate Calahan's little accent but they're making me tear up
oh gods I literally cannot keep a hold on myself when Dani's accent bleeds through with full force, it's like she comes more alive or smth
'I will keep you warm' SIR WHAT-
I am surprised they showed a leaning in for a kiss so soon but I'm not mad about it
her little eyebrow twitch at 'what are waffles'
when that rando said 'i hunt slavers now' a dread settled into me because I knew what was about to go down
Matthias looking somberly at the stuffed wolf's head </3
I am so incredibly entranced by this exchange between Fedyor and Nina and what it represents, it's very interesting that they pushed up their storyline to match with the timeline
damn it's kind of jarring to be back in the Fold
'REMEMBER WHO'S DRIVING'??!!!! *you better stop* meme, *i am, disgusted* meme, *oh wow, oh wow* meme
Mal you fucking idiot you could never take the crows by surprise
the music rising as Kaz starts explaining his thought process, fucking perfection
haha Mal bitchass Inej caught you
'Because if he isn't with Kirigan's crew, he's with ours' WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREAMED
'And why would we destroy the Fold? It's the greatest weapon we've got' valid point at the moment but you know I don't necessarily agree with your methods
the use of the light tunnel in the show instead of Alina just being a super flashlight in the books is quite an interesting addition as well
is this an inappropriate time to point out how pretty Ben Barnes is
okay I kind of love the depiction of the shadow powers okay sue me
'they are traitors who tried to kill you' why are you suddenly making valid points despite having kind of committed low scale genocide
'i never said I was smart' YES MAL BE THE VOICE OF HIMBOS EVERYWHERE
Kaz's face going from 'can you believe this idiot' at Mal to 'fuck me I'm gonna do the same thing aren't I' at Inej
'For who would oppose us now?' *himbo romantic rival appears out of nowhere and shoots at him* god I love this show
him standing calmly in his ridiculous all black attire after nodding at his soldier to stop the himbo in his tracks, i fucking can't
could she summon light without the Darkling making her after he put the collar on her until the uhm moment in the books? idts but in the show she can hmm
'only because I'm not in the game' you tell him Jesper
not me snickering at 'you'll be seen not as a saviour, but as a heretic' LMFAO
'Shame. I'll have to give that speech again now.' THIS SHOW IS A FUCKING COMEDY AND YOU CAN'T PROVE ME WRONG
YES LET'S FUCKING GO SULI SOLIDARITY
Darkles casually whipping the Cut out like a shuriken or a throwing knife at Jesper because he shot at him lmao I can't
INEJ FUCKING GHAFA STABBED ONE THE OLDEST AND MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE IN THAT WORLD AND THAT IS VERY TELLING OF HER POWER
that moment where you actually think that affected him despite having read the books and watched the show
and then he has to go and fucking say 'it will take more than this' and I can't be help but be a little bit impressed at this old fool's resilience
throwback to when he said 'the king is a child' sir you make some valid points sometimes and it does make it difficult to hate you
I would just like to inform everyone that it is currently 6:09 am IST and I am sipping my second mug of wine while watching netflix sab for the second time instead of doing my three papers that are due tomorrow
I'm sorry but Inej jumping to check on Zoya after she gets knocked over by the volcra? first class display of solidarity and sisterhood as well as Inej's inherent kindness
Kaz jumping in front of a FUCKING VOLCRA AND STABBING IT WITH HIS CANE to save Inej, you best believe love is true, kids
god the volcra are so ugly and gross, they did such a good job with them
they kind of remind me of these creatures (I think they might have been called Hollows or smth) from the Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children movie
STAG VISION TIME
despite my dislike for the callous nature with which the stag plotline was handled, I kind of dig the stag vision scene
'It's just me and you now, Alina. And we're all we need, anyway.' I actually feel bad for this old fool simping for this wonderful gorgeous powerful woman despite lying to her and manipulating her and exploiting her power
okay 'I never needed you' *stabs the bone fragment out of his hand* beautiful power move I fucking love you so so much
alright ben looking like ✨ that✨ not only in physical pain but also emotional pain at what the Darkling clearly considers another betrayal from this girl he wants to give the world and maybe? loves? maybe? or at least has feelings for makes my fucking heart hurt while simultaneously soar at Alina taking back control and reclaiming her power as her own and stepping into her own
'how do you claim such power' okay could have had better dialogue there writers
the fucking score lifting as she says 'you cannot claim what was not given to you' good people my heart is full
one day I'll talk about my defense of the chosen one trope because god damn I kind of love it
hmm I wonder was that brief hesitation that we saw on Alina's face due to her thinking about the 'you chose to betray our people' comment or the 'i was trying to save us' comment because that will define some of her actions in the later seasons (hopefully god if we get some, I honestly don't know what with this stupid brownface debacle)
I'm not saying talking about brownface and pointing out that it is wrong (for further context, I am actually brown) and harmful is stupid btw I'm talking about the incidents involving brownface in question
I don't wanna talk about this anymore but I might feel like I need to and end up posting about it idk
goodness Ivan actually believing in this cause makes me so sad because he too has been victimized by the system that ostracizes Grisha and he has every right to feel the way that he does
Ben actually fighting in that ridiculously heavy cloak and kefta when he's about to turn 40 this year makes me super impressed because I as a 19 year old sometimes wake up with muscle pulls after weeks of inactivity it's weird idk
also I understand that this Mal Darkling fight is completely fanservice and serves nearly no purpose to the plot in general but like I? love it?
'I don't have to kill you Darkling. Your past will do it for me' YES HIMBO GO OFF YOU TELL THAT OLD MAN GODS THAT WAS SEXY AS FUCK
maybe it's because I know Darkles will survive and will come out of it more powerful but I can't get myself to feel bad for him at the moment
Inej and Mal tearing up at Alina's condition made me almost feel something despite it being super obvious she was gonna be fine and save their asses at the last moment
HER POWER
a solitary Kaz in spotted on the western side of the newly expanded fold in his signature all black emo boy look
okay but the crows with zoya and malina is such an adorable team? I literally love them so much?
INEJ'S FUCKING SMILE AT ALINA GIVING HER THE DAGGER AND KAZ LOOKING AT HER AGSGSGSHSJSJSK MY HEART CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE
SHE KNOWS JUST WHAT TO NAME IT WELL GIRLIE I KNOW IT TOO AND MY FUCKING HEART IS LITERALLY GONNA BURST
okay I know they had one interaction but Mal and Jesper would be besties in another universe
Kaz glaring at Jesper when he answers ''course not' to Alina's 'will you still be trying to kidnap me?' tell me one fucking adaptation that got the dynamics between characters this perfectly
okay why do I love that Alina kept the jewellery as maybe a small nod to she has the wits to, um, you know, I don't wanna say steal, but, um, yeah, steal it because she knew she would need money to survive on the run
oh Jessie I love you so much I wish you hadn't said those things on you ig story about the brownface
it's like every single celeb I grow attached to god's like nope that one is going to do or say something problematic (hey btw im not reassigning blame to god for stuff people have done out of their own free will, 'twas a joke)
AAAAAAAH them saying 'the deal is the deal' in the show even though they didn't have to but like they did and I love them for it
Inej literally not being able to not stare at Kaz's face and smile after this <3
'I didn't expect it to burn at all. But it can be destroyed in the end. Just like him' babe you're not wrong but like um just you wait
god Mal being on supportive boyfie mode is well, absolutely adorable, obviously, but I wish we got to see more of him as a person outside of his attachment to Alina
kaz my little demjin I wish you hadn't have had to suffer so much to meet the crows and find your calling
fastforwarding Zoya's arc is also an interesting choice to me
I wish the hug hadn't been done though, it didn't feel earned
maybe Alina awkwardly and half-heartedly (remember, at this point the alliance is fresh and they still don't entirely trust each other) reached for a hug and Zoya avoided her? and then the rest of Zoya's lines followed? that would have made more sense to me at least
I love Sujaya as well, she brought life into Zoya with whatever little screentime and scraps of writing she got
inej asking kaz 'what's your angle?' beep bop bleep morp I sense another incoming embarrassing love confession
'but we do need you' *stares at her face intensely* 'I need you' ah look at the clock, look's like it's time to screech and flap your arms like you're a volcra because you're incapable of containing your emotions
NO YOU CAN'T GO DIRECTLY FROM KANEJ PROGRESS TO HELNIK BREAKUP (TEMPORARY, MIND YOU)
helnik my loves you don't deserve this I'm so sorry for both of you
Matthias fucking smiling ruefully while he says 'this was... just a cruel joke all along' THIS IS NOT FUCKING OKAY
omg hellgate
AAAAAAAAH NINA IS ON THE SAME FRAME AS THE OG CROWS I CAN'T HANDLE THIS
CAMERA PAN FROM KAZ SAYING 'JUST HOW THIS ALL STARTED... WE'RE GONNA NEED A HEARTRENDED' TO NINA OVERHEARING HIM AND LOOKING OVER?????!!!!!! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING THIS TO ME?!
Nina genuinely being curious as to the status of the sun saint because she obviously still cares
Also, 'But she is a Saint' okay Kaz trying to earn brownie points you have succeeded
DID THAT SAILOR JUST SAY 'GOED MORGEN FENTOMEN' TO MALINA BECAUSE I AM NOT OKAY WITH THEM JUST THROWING THAT IN MY FACE ALL OF A SUDDEN
gods I know I'll probably see them again but my heart is full of sorrow as my eyes drink in the sight of my crows for the last time for a while
I know people were annoyed at the meadow flashbacks but guess what? as a darklina, I loved them
'now that the Darkling is dead' could have phrased that a little differently my dudes that line needed to hold more weight
am I glad that they showed Darkles in this state with his nichevo'ya as a tasty little cliffhanger despite not being entirely true to the source material? maybe but only because Ben Barnes saying 'follow' and the nichevo'ya doing exactly so sent a chill down my spine
well, that's it for now, I'll have to move on I guess, get back to my real life which I'm obviously not ready to do
thank you to whoever actually read these things
I probably should have just made reactions or commentary videos instead but I'm lazy
my tumblr will probably go into inactivity once more as I emerge from my stint in the grishaverse
it was quite short (less than 2 months), considering the length of my other obsessions but it was definitely more intense than the other ones
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bellamyblakru · 4 years
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Heya, it's been a while, but I was wondering if you could turn your wonderful writing skills to another prompt for me? Could you do "I...I need to sit down" for Merthur please? Thanks ever so much 🥰 x
OF COURSE!! I love getting asks🥺id literally write anything you want me to💞thank you for this, hopefully i'm up to par—it's been a minute since i wrote (like a week lmfao i've been reading a lot)
Merlin looked at Arthur on the throne. He was still amazed how good he looked up there, how much he looked like he belonged. Arthur was glowing in the waning sunlight, giving him an ethereal glow. His hair was ablaze, blending with the crown on his head.
He was breathtaking. 
Merlin stopped listening to the proceedings in favor of staring at Arthur’s profile for as long as possible. Many commoners came for an audience today, and Merlin was too exhausted to show interest. He has been working since dawn, for both Arthur and Gaius, and the boy was dead on his feet. 
Arthur did not feel much better.  He could feel Merlin’s eyes on him, but instead of getting angry with Merlin, Arthur actually felt content to let him stare—it was making him warm and fuzzy on the inside, but he didn’t know why, so he let him be. Knowing he had Merlin’s attention, the king straightened his back and tried to listen back to the farmers’ dispute at hand. He was apparently thinking about Merlin’s eyes on him for longer than he thought since the farmers were staring at him, waiting for his reasoning. Arthur blinked slowly, unsure, but Merlin quickly came to his ear and whispered, “Sire, the one on the left killed the right one’s sheep because it was on his farm unattended and was causing a ruckus.” Arthur nodded his thanks, looking more grateful at Merlin than he had all day, and Merlin blushed at the sudden attention from Arthur and bowed back to his spot behind the king. 
Arthur started talking, but Merlin couldn’t focus on what he was saying—both tired and now feeling a little hot. Maybe I need to ask Gaius if I’m getting sick, Merlin wondered, getting slightly dizzy now. 
“Is there anyone else?” Arthur looked at Lancelot and Leon. “One more, my lord,” Leon answered, as Lancelot was occupied with talking to Gwaine and looking at Arthur’s side together. Arthur frowned, why do they look so concerned? Arthur was about to look over to see what they were looking at, but the next citizen came in.
The minute the man came in, Merlin fell to his knees. Gwaine and Lance were by his side in an instant. Arthur looked over to where Merlin fell, jumping up from the throne, wanting to go over and check him himself. His knights were trying to help Merlin stand, so Arthur decided he could get this last audience done fast and go to Merlin after. 
While stabilizing him, Merlin looked up at the newcomer. He felt nausea rush over him just from looking. “Gwaine, Lance,” Merlin groaned out quietly, trying to get them to go to Arthur instead, and once he got their attention he continued, “that man, something is wrong with that man.” Gwaine and Lance looked perplexed but believed him, so they leaned Merlin against the wall to see what was going on. 
Arthur just started addressing him, “what may I help you with today?” The man bowed lowly, and in a deep voice said, “My lord, I actually wanted to bring something to you.” Arthur, surprised for a moment, masked his face quickly, “and what would that be?” The man stood up and pulled a small wooden box out of his robes, and he addressed Arthur once more. “My liege, this is a weapon of great power, but I am the only one able to wield its strength.” 
“What kind of power?”
“The power to drown the magic out of people. Out of them where the filth cannot corrupt them for any longer,” he stated, indicating to the small box.
Arthur heard a gasp to his right and quickly looked. Lancelot looked horrified, while Gwaine looked absolutely livid. Merlin, on the other hand, looked like he was withering away on the wall behind them, staring with blank eyes towards the box--almost like he was drawn to it. 
Arthur was not stupid, or blind. He knew Merlin kept secrets, deadly ones if he kept them from Arthur, so this realization did not quite have the same reaction the old Arthur would have had.
Merlin has magic. 
Arthur was quiet for a moment longer, thoughtful. Every adventure, every single quest, every day, Merlin was at his side. Whether it was killing a monster, or cleaning his boots, or making his bed, Merlin never laid a hand on him.
Merlin believed in him and that was enough at the end of the day, wasn’t it? Arthur already had an inkling about magic not being the all evil power his father lectured him about. He wanted to find Morgana and make amends, so this was the path he needed to take to get her home. Magic couldn’t be evil if both Merlin and Morgana had it--they did not choose it either, especially since they both lived under Uther. No one would be foolish enough to use magic willingly with him around. Magic is a gift in the right hands, and a horrible tool in the wrong ones--just like any other tool in this world.
Arthur was about to make history--he could feel it deep within his bones. He could almost hear Destiny singing.
“I am sorry, but I have no need for a weapon like that in my kingdom.”
The man stumbled back, shock written all over his features at the power behind Arthur’s words, “are you not a Pendragon? You would rather magic roam freely in this world than end it once and for all?”
Arthur schooled his face into strength, ignoring his rising temper at the questioning man, “I may be a Pendragon, but I am not my father. I said no. Thank you for coming all this way, you may now take your leave.”
The man bristled at the dismissal, and just as Arthur was turning to Merlin, he drew a throwing knife out and spoke softly, but loud enough for everyone to hear, “if you are not with us against the powers of evil, then I must end this reign for the greater good.” He threw the knife before anyone could react.
It stopped inches from Arthur’s heart, and Arthur looked at it trying to figure out what just happened. The man gasped when the knife turned back towards him and landed in his leg. “Magic!” The man cried out, horrified that such use of blatant power was used on him. 
Merlin stumbled over to the man, who was now on one knee, and spoke very clearly: “if you ever try to threaten the king again, I will not aim for the leg. Is that understood?” Merlin’s eyes shone like liquid gold. Lancelot and Gwaine, quickly behind Merlin, yelled at the guards to put the man in jail with the box he brought with him. 
The guards listened, albeit hesitantly, looking towards Arthur for his approval. Arthur simply nodded, still staring at Merlin. It’s one thing to make the connection, but to see it so clearly use for him, in defense for him? It was astonishing. It felt oddly right if Arthur was being honest. Merlin was one of the bravest men he knew, and his power only amplified this feeling for Arthur. To live your life in constant fear, to feel so alone and scared of who you are, it is a wonder why Merlin stayed by his side for so long.
The second the man walked out, Lancelot and Gwaine went in front of Merlin protectively. Arthur ignored them and walked directly to Merlin, who whispered that he could handle this to his friends who looked reluctant to walk away (so they just moved to either side of Merlin, slightly behind him, just in case).
Arthur came close to Merlin, “how long?”
“My whole life,” Merlin responded quietly. 
Arthur blanched, realizing how long Merlin lived in fear for his own life and from Arthur himself.
“Why?”
Such a simple question that could allude to many things, but each would have the same reply from Merlin.
“Because I love you.”
That was it. Arthur took a step back, heart beating fast, seeing how much Merlin meant it. He loved Arthur. 
Merlin didn’t understand why Arthur wasn’t killing him, or saying anything, or why Arthur just kept staring at him.
But Merlin couldn’t wait for a response, “Arthur?”
Arthur was confused at the tone change, so he just said, “yes, Merlin?”
Merlin was delirious at this point, “if you don’t plan on putting me on the pyre, I think I might...that I....I need to sit down.”
Merlin passed out.
Lancelot and Gwaine caught him easily, looking at Arthur to see his reaction. Arthur was in motion already, picking Merlin up bridal style, and walking directly past them. With a small smile at his knights he asked, “are you guys coming? Or am I to tell Gaius myself what happened?” Arthur was masking his terror for Merlin by easing his knights’ concern for how he felt about Merlin, making it clear what side Arthur was on. Lancelot and Gwaine sighed in relief, accompanying Arthur.
Tomorrow was going to be a big day.
Tomorrow, Arthur was going to say I love you back.
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marsdemo · 4 years
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hi everyone my private account on twitter got suspended because i posted a splatoon video that was captioned "ew i forgot aboutthe time me and some inkling on the opposite team were like trying to kill each other and i won and it was some cunt named trumpmaga LMFAO off camera but i did squidbag that bitch" AND THEY SNIPED ME FOR 12 HOURS
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geist-fledermaus · 4 years
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Get To Know Me!
Since I’ve received quite a few followers here and there, I might as well do this!
What is your full name?: Beryl (Sorry, I don’t like my whole name)
What does your name mean?: It’s a gemstone. 
Are you named after anyone?: My großmütter, Beryl Rae Jensen
Does your name make any interesting anagrams?: Not really?
If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to?: Fuck if I know. Probably something basic so I’m less easy to find. 
Where are you from?: North Pole, AK (I shit you not)
Where were you born?: North Pole, AK
Where did you grow up?: North Pole, AK
Who did you look up to growing up?: My father.
What are your best characteristics?: I can draw. 
What are your favorite things about yourself?: I can draw. 
Which of your parents are you closest to?: My dad.
Which of your parents are you more like?: My daaaad.
What relative was important to you growing up & why?: Tbh My dad was my super hero, he took care of me and my sister, worked 3 jobs, and took care of mom while she went through cancer. He’s the most important lmfao.
What is one thing that you’ve never revealed to your parents?: I’m Pagan.
What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?: Bert Raymond... 
What is your best physical feature?: Eyes or chest. :/ 
What is your biggest accomplishment?: Being locally recognized as an artist, especially on local TV. 
What is your biggest fear?: Being forgotten, being alone. 
What is your biggest regret?: Not pushing myself even more with art. 
What is your eye color?: Various blues with inner green circles. 
What inspires you?: Other artists. 
What is the most important thing in your life?: My fiance! @boywasgirl
What has required the most courage of you in your life so far?: To not give up. To not quit college and drop everything I’ve worked hard for. 
What is your favorite flower?: Sunflowers!
What is your favorite weather?: Rainy weather and thunder/lightning storms!
Who is your favorite actor?: I have a few, but I love Johnny Depp and Jason Momoa. 
Who is your favorite actress?: F u c k. I adore Emma Stone, Emma Watson.. uhh.. Emilia Clarke! That’s just to name a few. 
Who is your favorite celebrity?: Oh fuck. Idk. 
Who is your favorite musician?: They’re a band but I love Bring Me The Horizon, Oliver Syke’s voice and lyrics hit me hard. 
Who’s your favorite person in the world?: @boywasgirl
Who are your best friends?: @armageddonne @darkdragoonxiii @vixenchildxd69-blog and my bff Alisha! 
What is your favorite childhood memory?: My sister breaking the fucking garage door like a dumbshit. 
What is your favorite color?: Black or seafoam green~ I also love other greens and blues! It’s so damn hard to choose. 
What is your favorite cultural activity?: Uh. Axe throwing? Idk what counts as a cultural activity when it comes to me and my family haha. 
What is your favorite drink?: For waking up, Monster or pomegranate and orange redbull kickers, I love mountain dew, anything with peaches and mango as well. 
What is your favorite fairytale?: HAHA. I looove reading about the Tales of Grimm. I can’t just pick one. 
What is your favorite food?: Pizza or Taco Bell.
What is your favorite holiday destination?: Anywhere but Alaska. I love to explore. I REALLY want to travel to Germany, Norway, Ireland, England, and most of Western Europe. 
What is your favorite ice-cream flavor?: Strawberry Cheesecake or Mint Chocolate
What is your favorite music genre?: Fuck. I have so many. I love a lot of metal subgenres, alternative rock, punk, old 2000′s emo bands, EDM, rap, I don’t even know how to label all of my favorites but there’s a lot to unpack there. If you’re curious just shoot me a question ahaha! 
What is your favorite physical activity?: Swimming!! 
What is your favorite quote?: “Keep listening to music because it gets you through everything, I promise.” - Mitch Lucker, former vocalist of Suicide Silence. 
What is your favorite snack?: Peach Rings, Brightside Skittles.. Uhh. MY MOM’S CLAM DIP AND RUFFLES CHIPS? 
What is your favorite song?: Throne - BMTH or Mis//Understanding - We Came As Romans.
What is your favorite sport?: Swimming, Hockey, Volleyball and Fencing. 
What is your favorite time of the day?: Early afternoons or late nights. 
What is your favorite type of clothing?: Goth/Alt fashion. 
What is your favorite way to pass time?: Gaming or drawing. 
What is the name of your favorite restaurant?: Family Diner (It’s in my town. It’s really chill and laid back.)
What is your all-time favorite town or city? Why?: I really enjoyed Denver, CO. It was filled with really colorful, intriguing personalities. There was so much to explore, everyone was so open and sweet. 
What is your height?: ... 5′2″
What time period would you love to live in?: Viking Era. 
What did you do for fun as a child?: Drawing. 
Who was a role model in your life?: My dad! 
Did you have any childhood pets?: I grew up with 5 cats and 4 dogs! 
When you were young, what did you want to be?: A mortician. 
What family traditions were important to you?: I can’t even remember many.. I loved during gatherings how we’d play Spoons, wrestle, and be reckless though. 
What was your favorite childhood memory?: Ahah! Shenanigans with my “Twin” Kyle. 
What was your favorite childhood possession?: My Gameboy Color! 
What challenges did you experience when you were young?: Almost losing my mother, trying to speak English, being bullied heavily. 
What is a defining moment from your childhood?: My mother coming home from the hospital finally. 
What do you do for fun?: Play video games and draw. I’m pretty boring. 
What are your hobbies?: Drawing, Painting, Digital Art, Gaming, Dancing, Singing.
What is something that you’re really passionate about?: My art.
What is something you could spend hours doing?: Drawing
What is something you wish you did more often?: Draw. 
If you had to watch a documentary, what would you want it to be about?: Anything WW1/WW2 related or Forensics/Serial Killer related. 
What do you always have on in the background?: Lofi Hiphop or random videos on youtube that catch my eye. 
How do you feel about travel?: Fuck yeah, where are we going and for how long? 
What is a guilty pleasure you enjoy?: Fuckin’ watching Serial Killer documentaries. 
How have your interests changed over the years?: Nah, I’m still the same. I’m pretty bland. 
Which sibling are you closest to?: My sister, Erika! 
How close are you with your parents?: Close but not too close.
How has your relationship with your parents changed over the years?: For the worse.
What is one of the most important lessons that you learned from your family?: You cannot trust anyone. Not even your own family. 
When does your family cause you to stress?: All the damn time. All they need to do is send me a text and I immediately begin to dread. 
What does the word family mean to you?: Something that I never got to fully have but I experienced. It’s also something I can create on my own accord. 
When you envision your ideal family, what do you see?: Honestly me with my partner/partners, kids, animals, and friends. 
How vulnerable is your family with each other?: Everyone is always on guard and they’ll be mean if you even show some form of sensitivity. 
What is a family trait that isn’t necessarily the healthiest?: Being a snitch, gaslighting, gatekeeping, misogyny, yelling if you even show an inkling of emotion. I could go on. 
What relatives had the biggest impact on you growing up?: In a negative way, almost all of my family. The only two I really loved growing up were my dad and sister, Erika. 
What do you watch on television?: If it’s cable I go to MTV, Forensic Files, or Adult Swim/Anything with cartoons. 
What is one of your favorite movies?: To Hell And Back, Howl’s Moving Castle, Princess Mononoke, Dracula Untold (For some reason I just really like it, don’t judge). 
If you could have free tickets to any event, what would it be?: A BMTH concert PLEASE. Or anything that’s a EDM/Rave environment. ;_;
What is your favorite form of media?: Youtube tbh. 
What role does music play in your life?: A huge role, BMTH got me through a lot of hard times. 
What is one of your favorite books?: Corey Taylor’s Seven Deadly Sins. It’s a riot of a read and makes me laugh. 
How often do you watch sporting events?: Here and there, especially at bars if they have Hockey going. 
What would your ideal weekend getaway look like?: Road trip to Anchorage and staying at my mom’s cousin’s estate in the mountains. I only got to go there a few times and the view is absolutely captivating. You can see the waters, the city, all the lights.. fuck I’d love to draw that. 
Who are popular figures that you love to learn from?: Fuck if I know LOL. 
What celebrity/musician would you love to meet in real life?: Oliver Sykes and Maria Brink tbh.
If you wrote a memoir about your life, what would it be called?: “Well, That Happened.” A memoir of a dumb bitch LOL. 
What fictional world would you want to travel to for a day?: FUCK. I’d love to just be in a simulation like the girl in Porter Robinson’s music video of Shelter. Just being in a drawing simulation where I can run around and create anything and everything around me. But if we’re talking actual worlds.. I’d probably love to be in Avatar The Last Airbender’s world. I love that series so much. 
What room in your house most represents who you are as a person?: The Office. It’s got art supplies, our gaming PC, all of my schoolwork/homework, the drawing tablets.. 
How clean a person are you?: Tbh I am pretty clean, it’s just cleaning huge messes/unpacking that I hate. 
What is a pet peeve that you have?: STOP CHEWING WITH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH OPEN. 
What behavior do you do that is most likely a pet peeve to others?: Uhh. Idk. Nail biting? Loud laughter? forgetting to turn off lights? Idk. 
What phrase or word do you overuse when you talk?: “I’m so sorry” “I m a g i n e” 
If you could only eat at one restaurant for the rest of your life, what would it be?: Fuck. Hahaaaaa. I’d probably love to just sit and eat at the Family Diner. I love their Reubens. 
What is something about your personality that you like? Don’t like?: I like that people feel comfortable running to me when they need a friend. I don’t like a lot about me, though.
What would your friends be surprised to learn about you?: I am ambidextrous and I know German/Englisch and some French! I want to learn Norwegian even more and Gaelic! 
Where do you see yourself in a few years?: West coast where it’s rainy with those that I love, pursuing my career finally after all these years of hard work. 
Thanks for reading this if you finally made it to the end! If there’s other questions you want to ask, don’t hesitate! ^^ Hopefully you learned something about me! 
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oliveam · 5 years
Text
hiya  loves  !   i’m  so  pumped  to  be  here  ,  truly  can’t  believe  my  eyes  w  the  surplus  of  talent  all  around  me  !   unfortunately  capitalism  literally  has  me  in  a  chokehold  &  the  life  of  a  retail  worker  trudges  on  even  with  the  virus  rampant  ,  so  i’m  actually  at  work  ,  soz  ,  but  i’m  eager  to  spend  the  hours  between  shifts  eagerly  making  up  for  lost  time  (  &  for  once  i  actually  did  something  in  advance  to  ensure  i  wouldn’t  get  stuck  behind  the  current  . . .  clearly  i’m  love  struck  )  !  so  here  this  baby  is  ,  &  here  eye  am  (  amie  ,  9teen  ,  pst  )  to  love  &  be  loved  back   ;_;
full   name   :        olive   penelope   black nicknames   :        o   ,   olly   if   you’re   prepared   to   be   glared   into   an   early   grave birthdate   :        october   31 hometown   :        portland   ,   maine current   location   :        cape     coral     international   school      ,      maine languages   spoken   :        english    ,    latin    ,    some   italian distinguishing   features   :        pearly   white   smile   ,   runway   ready   hair   at   all   times physical   ailments   :        asthma sexuality   :        bisexual   but   in   the   closet likes   :        morning   crossword   puzzles   with   her   dad   ,   mint   chocolate   ice   cream   ,   amazon   prime   (  fleabag   &   the   marvelous   mrs.   maisel   in   particular  )   ,   the   comfort   of   her   room   ,   math   class   with   her   favorite   professor   ,   sibling   outings   where   she   can   force   them   to   pay   attention   wholly   to   her   ,   rock   music   ,   being   a   nosy   lil   witch   ,   pouting   ,   a   racket   in   her   hand   ,   pride   &   prejudice   (  2005  ,  obvs  ) dislikes   :        church   on   sunday   mornings   ,   the   radio   ,   facebook   (  the   social   network   on   the   other   hand   .  .  .  )   ,   feeling  /  being   out   of   the   loop   ,   martinis   ,   being   alone   with   her   mother character    trope   :        the   maiden   .    the   main   draw   to   this   particular   trope   was   the   analogy   to   fiona   from   shrek   ,   who   can   be   likened    to   olive   quite   meaningfully   ,   with   the   parallels   between   each   girl’s   youth   coming   to   mind   (  save  for  the  whole  ogre  business  ,  though  she  does  have  queen  of  the  swamp  noted  in  her  future  plans  )   ,   such   as   being   raised   in   a   coddled   ,   spoiled   home   ,   but   lacking   any   true   relationship   with   the   bearers   of   her   gilded   childhood   (  more  so  her  mother  in  olive’s  case  )   .   if   her   parents   could   have   stuck   her   up   in   a   tower   during   her   teenage   years   ,   they   would   have   signed   straight   up   as   a   clause   in   the   adoption   papers   .   moreover   ,   olive   believes   she   knows   best   ,   when   really   she   doesn’t   know   much   at   all   ⏤⏤⏤   about   the   important   things   ,   at   least   .   she   is   currently   unaware   about   her   family’s   involvement   with   the   collapse   ,   &   is   far   from   suspecting   a   thing   ,   though   she   is   nosy   beyond   all  else   ,   which   won’t   bode   well   in  her   future   ⏤⏤⏤   she   might   have   overlooked   the   whole   scandal   as   nothing   more   than   an   interesting   change   in   school   dynamics   at   first   ,   but   if   there’s   even   an   inkling   that   tickles   her   radar   ,   it’ll   be   tough   to   distract  &  throw   her   off   the   trail   .  
‘      .      ⋆        ❬        🎶      !
001.    stay    (    i    missed    you    )    by    lisa    loeb    .        while  olive  may  not  have  experienced  the  events  depicted  in  the  song  herself  (  nor  ever  been  in  a  relationship  )  ,  the  voice  of  the  narrator  speaks  strongly  to  her  ,  &  if  a  break - up  like  that  ever  would  happen  to  olive  ,  this  is  how  she’d  react  ,  but  more  so  than  the  lyrics  are  the  annotations  &  notes  on  the  song’s  genius  page  ,  which  if  anything  served  as  inspiration  for  olive  .  the  thing  that  really  cemented  this  song  for  me  though  was  this  :  “  you said that i was naive and i thought that i was strong  ”  .  a  perfect  way  to  sum  her  up  !  
002.    you    sexy    thing    by    zella    day    .        lmfao  ,  she’s  a  romantic  babey  !!!  but  fr  ,  this  is  how  she’d  act  if  she  ever  got  loved  up  .
003.    creme    de    la    creme    by    evalyn    .        this  song  just  . . .  gets  her  .  literally  every  lyric  is  a  tidbit  i  can  go  on  about  ,  but  even  the  general  i  don’t  know  what  my  life  is  ,  but  i  know  this  vibe  of  it  all  is  just  chef’s  kiss  . 
‘      .      ⋆        ❬        🕶      !
olive  was  adopted  as  a  newborn  under  circumstances  unknown  to  her  ,  but  her  dad  liked  to  joke  she  came  to  them  by  way  of  a  stork  .  she  thought  this  was  true  until  the  age  of  nine  .
introduces  herself  as  olive  ,  immediately  followed  by  “  my mom love’s a martini  ”  .  most  people  take  it  as  a  joke  .  it’s  not  :/
a  lot  of  people  like  to  throw  the  word  ‘ prude ’  around  ,  enough  so  that  it’s  basically  synonymous  with  olive’s  name  at  this  point  .  safe  to  say  ,  that’s  a  typical  schoolyard  insult  that  stuck  six  years  too  long  .  she’s  not  picky  ,  or  even  obsessed  with  finding  the  RiGhT  oNe  .  if  anything  ,  she’s  almost  desperate  for  love  ,  but  in  a  way  that  she  doesn’t  actually  want  it  .  or  is  too  scared  of  its  enormity  .  take  the  heralded  richard  siken  quote  for  example  :   actually  ,  you  said  love  ,  for  you  ,  is  larger  than  the  usual  romantic  love  .  it’s  like  a  religion  .  it’s  terrifying  .  no  one  will  ever  want  to  sleep  with  you  .  i  mean  ??  that  quote  just  strips  this  bitch  down  to  her  core  !  &  if  i  loved  you  less  ,  i  might  be  able  to  talk  about  it  more  !!!!!!!!!!  (  she  doesn’t  currently  love  anyone  ,  but  y’all  get  the  gist  )  .  it’s  overwhelming  in  a  way  that  she’s  scared  to  be  so  wholly  overtaken  by  something  she  doesn’t  understand  ,  yet  yearns  .  i  could  continue  to  yap  about  this  particular  subject  forever  ,  but  i’ll  save  your  eyes  .  
olive’s  got  a  head  on  her  shoulders  ,  a  sharp  one  at  that .  her  grades  aren’t  the  highest  in  her  year  ,  nor  even  in  the  top  ten  ,  but  that’s  more  down  to  her  general  lack  of  passion  for  school  than  might  of  mind  .  she’s  got  a  keen  eye  &  an  even  keener  mind  when  she  wills  it  ,  shedding  the  role  of  spoiled  brat  imprinted  upon  her  by  fortune  without  issue  if  the  situation  appropriately  deems  it  .
olive  is  a  sweetheart  at  her  core  ,  but  she  can  be  quite  callous  .  not  in  a  cruel  way  ,  a  la  a  regina  george  ,  but  in  a  harsh  way  she  can’t  quite  control  ,  when  her  filter  gets  screwed  &  she’s  not  prone  to  sensitivity  ,  or  is  moody  &  prone  to  a  swift  mood  shift  .  that  said  ,  she’s  as  warm  as  a  hug  from  your  nana  to  most  ,  while  being  unafraid  to  make  her  favorites  clear  ,  generally  paying  so  much  attention  to  particular  people  that  others  feel  iced  out  ,  when  really  they’re  just  not  on  her  radar  ,  as  brutal  as  that  sounds  .  for  her  friends  ,  she’s  genuinely  ride  or  die  ;  think  mike  from  stranger  things  (  she’d  jump  off  that  cliff  for  dustin’s  baby  teeth  any  day  !  )  .  she  was  also  raised  a  certain  way  ,  with  luxuries  at  her  fingertips  ,  &  may  unintentionally  be  tone  deaf  at  times  ,  though  that’d  probably  be  from  coming  on  too  hard  rather  than  being  ignorant  .  
if  you  lie  to  her  ,  she  won’t  ever  forget  it  ,  nor  truly  forgive  .  i  wouldn’t  test  it  .
seriously  .  she’s  been  coding  /  hacking  since  she  was  eight  as  a  playtime  &  since  excelling  in  math  courses  &  generally  sharpening  the  skill  through  hours  wasted  on  gaming  sites  &  html  that  positively  drys  the  eyes  right  out  a  la  spongebob  ,  she’s  gotten  better  than  she  can  even  objectively  note  .  she’ll  browse  the  school  system  for  fun  or  on  a  dare  ,  but  she’s  never  been  invested  enough  in  a  certain  grade  to  change  it  for  herself  ,  so  browsing  is  all  it  was  .  that  is  ,  unless  a  friend  asks  for  a  favor  ⏤⏤⏤  that  ride  or  die  life  baby  .  
she’s  a  fighter  !  she’s  a  lover  !  she  will  kick  ass  &  kiss  cheeks  !  
‘      .      ⋆        ❬        👯      !
i  like  to  really  delve  into  personally  forged  connections  between  muns  ,  so  unfortunately  no  wanted  cons  as  of  yet  ,  but  here  is  where  all  of  olive’s  established  connections  will  sit  !  for  now  ,  i  do  have  this  tag  :~)
⋆     connection    /     tba     .        blah  blah  !   
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lesbeet · 5 years
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hey so im that anon who asked about writing like a day or two ago and i just wanted to say that you saying "please don't quit" really made me feel better like. even if I still haven't quite hit the writing groove im Getting There and i just wanted to thank you
i'm so glad!
honestly ime, most of the time, the more blatant confidence someone has in their writing abilities, the worse they probably are.
it's sad, and obviously there are exceptions, but the majority of good writers i know think they're much worse than they are, and the majority of bad writers i know never realize how bad their writing actually is
and i think it's because the best way to be a good writer is to be a good critic--not in the sense of criticism, but of scrutiny. good writers understand subtleties about language and about storytelling because they've figured them out, by studying the works that already exist, including their own.
even if it's hardly more than a vague gut feeling, a writer of any level who genuinely wants to improve can usually identify their own writing strengths and weaknesses. and the reason so many good writers have voices unique to them, distinct and signature, and/or styles of storytelling, is because those are the elements those writers paid attention to most while analyzing any other writing they'd seen before.
based on the amount of time you've been working at it, i'd have to guess that you have at least a cursory notion of what you'd like to improve. (if not shoot me an IM and we can chat about it!). if so, that tells me that at the very least you have the eye of a discerning reader, which is crucial to any sort of deliberate honing of the craft of writing.
from there, read! read your own stuff, taking note of what you think works and what you think doesn't. read anything and everything you can get your hands on. advertisements, weirdly enough are a wonderful source of verbal and linguistic data, as well as information on storytelling: they select each and every word, image, song, etc with the explicit purpose of selling you on something. you don't have to make it a formal thing, but refrain from skipping the commercials every so often and pay attention to what you're seeing and hearing. what did they want to make you feel, and which strategies did they use to accomplish that (if they accomplished it?) take a few seconds to think about an ad you see in a magazine, or even on a billboard. if you work at it, you'll find yourself with boundless, totally free information about what it takes to make someone buy a product, which is exactly the job of a writer: to sell your story. to make it real and believable. to make people care.
but also: movies and tv shows! personally i think i've learned a lot more about storytelling from film and tv than from reading, if only because it's a more passive medium which leaves your mind more room to wander, and because it's much easier to remember details about a 90-min film than a book it took you a week to read, yknow?
my point is that if you have even an inkling of what you want to look for, the world is bursting with information, with examples, with explicit analyses (which should never be taken absolute fact!). once you can identify and make distinctions between different strategies, you'll be able to start practicing them in your own writing. you'll find what you excel at and what you need to work on further, as well as what you personally like and dislike, as least as far as within your own style.
and from there it's just endless editing and tweaking and honing until you die dndjdkakzldksskdjdk
but yes, PLEASE DON'T STOP WRITING, whatever you do. it sounds like you have something things that you need to say, and you should give the world an opportunity to hear them!
this answer has waaaaay gotten away from me lmfao, but i hope that advice was helpful in some way.
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