#instead of being alienated because my feelings about sex don’t directly line up with yours

[gayvampyr]

“queer spaces should be inclusive of people who don’t enjoy sex and who have “strange”, negative or repulsed relationships with sex” and “sex is an important aspect of lgbt community, history, and activism and queer people should be allowed and able to talk freely about sex without stigma or shame” are ideas that can and should coexist.

[handlewithkara]

Why would Karamel fans “move on” from Karamel?

I am puzzled by this concept that Karamel shouldn’t be rooting for Karamel anymore. It just boggles my mind in so many ways for so many reasons, I felt like jotting down some of them;  

1.) Shipping does not work that way. Look I could elaborate, but I think most people who have ever encountered shipping understand this aspect. 

2.) Kara has NOT expressed comparable romantic emotions towards anybody since Mon-El. 

(gif by @ i-am-aci01 ) 

Look, I know there are fans who wish she would express that kind of romantic interest in other people, but looking at the show, it’s just a fact that it hasn’t happened. And since there is only one more season left, I don’t think bringing in somebody new would work, nor do I personally believe in any other relationships that have just been rather tepid. 

This is not a case of: Kara has found happiness with somebody new, you should be happy for her, because that flat out hasn’t happened. She just hasn’t gone to the same level of relationship and romantic interest with anybody else (wake me up when Kara kisses a person, has sex with them, moves in with them). 

Not all Karamel fans feel that way, but I consider myself one of the fans who is open to the concept in theory, because I do love Kara. But it just hasn’t happened. There just is not relationship that makes me consider “okay, you should really respect that Kara happens to romantically love this person now more than she did Mon-El”.

(as for Mon-El, yes he found somebody but to me season 3 made it clear that he was not happy with her and he ended things with her, they could have used Winn’s visit to tell us that Mon-El changed his mind on that or found somebody new altogether, but again, this is not what happened. As it stand the last what we knew of Mon-El was still that he was deeply unhappy to go back to the future and only did it out of duty)

3.) Kara wants romantic love. I get the concept of Kara not needing a romantic relationship to live and the sister relationship between Kara and Alex being the most important one. The thing about Kara is... she has always wanted love. In Supergirl’s pilot episode, we see her proactively looking for love by going on a blind date. 

In one of her timelinewise earliest moments where she could feasibly have urges she voices her desire to express herself romantically: 

(gif by @ i-am-aci01 )

She explicitly expresses this in season 1: 

(gif by @ i-am-aci01 )

Kara found love with Mon-El and lost it. And then she didn’t have any meaningful romantic progress for two years. She didn’t whine about it. She didn’t neglect her duties to search love. She was just basically still the same kick ass hero who helps others and supports her friends. 

So maybe one could argue, okay, maybe the drama with Mon-El turned Kara into a person who has no interest in romantic love anymore. Except ... to me (other than how that being a really sad story) again that didn’t happen. When William unexpectantly asks her out, she has a big smile and she does want to go on a date with him. And when I look at the scene where she expresses her frustration on how she can’t progress things with William 

(gif by @ i-am-aci01 )

I don’t look at that scene and think that this is a woman who needs to learn she doesn’t need romantic relationships. I look at this scene and see a woman who wants love and it’s really unfair that she sholdn’t get to have one, that circumstances shouldn’t allow it for her. 

Especially: if Alex is allowed to have romantic relationships on the side without it threatening the Sisters Uber Alles status, why can’t Kara? Why would Kara’s romantic relationship be a threat to a sister ending when Alex’ relationship isn’t? 

To me it’s just really clear from Kara’s history on the show and the opinions she has expressed that Kara wants romantic love and to me it feels sad and unjust that she shouldn’t get to have one, especially with how long it has been since she had a relationship, especially when fellow heroes Nia and Brainy can have one and her sister can also have one. 

The arc of Kara’s romantic relationships has never been that she’s too thirsty and needs to learn to keep in her pants, not has it been that she doesn’t want it. It has overwhelmingly been that she wants it but things got in the way, things like duty, getting murdered by your high school teacher or alien invasions and time traveling inducing wormholes. 

Even if the message were that maybe Kara doesn’t like relationships enough, I still feel like the logical way to sensibly close up this arc would still be for Kara to get to experience a relationship without things getting in the way, so she can properly decide that maybe that isn’t what she wants. (I for one would argue: Kara has already kind of experienced that with James and it most certainly did not cure her from wanting a romantic relationship since she started a relationship with Mon-El soon after) 

4.) Kara and Mon-El’s season 3 ending sucked and provided no closure. I know there are people who did not like the relationship and hence probably didn’t pay much attention to Mon-El’s exit episode. But as a Karamel fan, of course the details matter to me. And the details sucked. And they didn’t just suck because “damn, I didn’t get my preferred couple together romantically”, but also because the details were intensely frustrating, From Kara’s point of view it is frustrating that she never got to hear the whole story (and all the bits I mentioned in my previous points in regards to Kara and her romantic arc in general). And from Mon-El’s point of view because Mon-El was very clearly unhappy when he left. 

In the end, there are generally two reasons why people “move on”, either because they have gotten closure (something that wasn’t the case with Kara and Mon-El) or because something better came along (whether within the show or in a different show or fandom, and for many people that just isn’t the case, either because good ships are rare or because people still care about Kara and nothing better has come along for Kara)

If the writers didn’t want to continue Karamel as a romantic storyline, there is ways they could have gone about it. Very easily. Instead they left the characters on these deeply unsatisfying note. There is a lot of options they could have gone for which I would still have disliked as a fan of the Kara&Mon-El romantic relationship, but I would have grudgingly accepted. 

They could have put Kara into a new relationship very quickly and have her drop lines that downplay her relationship with Mon-El and have Mon-El be happy for her. (basically what they did with James)

They could have had him return the necklace to symbolically put an end to Karamel’s romantic relationship, for Kara to give it to Alex or her next love interest. Or Mon-El could have given it to Alura, who was right there, since it was her necklace originally. Instead, after a season that put intentional emphasis on the necklace, Mon-El leaves still having it.

They could have had Mon-El and Imra reunite melodramatically in the finale and have him declare his feelings for Kara were just an illusion, Imra is who is supposed to be with. It could even have worked as a nice parallel to Kara saying she nearly lost herself when she tried to pursue violence against Reign. Except that just isn’t what happened, this isn’t what they wrote for Mon-El. What they did write is Mon-El smiling at the thought of spending more time with Kara (even giving Brainy a line that draws emphasis to the fact that Mon-El is smiling) and being saddened when Brainy tells him he can’t, he has to go back. 

So, let’s say, maybe end of season 3 was too quick for the writers to come up with something good. Well in that case they had another opportunity to put a final lid on the relationship when Winn came back for a guest episode. They could have had Winn return the necklace and tell Kara that Mon-El died. Kara would have been a bit sad and as a  viewer I would have gotten the message, okay, he is not coming back, any appearance is at most going to be an AU. 

They could have used Winn to tell us Mon-El returned back to Imra and they have seven children now. Again as a viewer I would have gotten the message, okay, so the writers tell me Mon-El and Imra are supposed to be together in every universe, Mon-El can’t be a good character if he leaves seven kids behind. 

Instead they did nothing. They left Karamel in complete undefined limbo (with nothing coming in to replace it or otherwise directly contradict it)  with the last note they ended on being Mon-El going back to the future because Brainy tells him that he HAS to, not because this is what Mon-El would have chosen, because Mon-El needs to be a big damn hero, not because that is what makes Mon-El happy. 

5.)  This is the last season, if there is a time to hope for a happy ending, people do understand that it is now, right? Especially since the show has shown in the 100th episode that they are willing to bring Mon-El back for special occasions. So there is a precedent. They brought him back once for a very special episode, so why would it be unreasonable for me to hope that they would do it again, even if it were only for an Easter Egg? 

Especially since I really enjoyed his guest appearance and how they wrote him. Even if they didn’t want to return to romantic Karamel, I would still want him to return and see them again, kicking butt together, giving each other advice. That would still make me happy and I would be rooting for that regardless of what Kara’s romantic choices are, because I like their characters and I think they have great chemistry together and I want to see them do scenes together. 

So no, I am not getting my hopes up for anything beyond an episode 100 style guest appearnce. But I don’t feel guilty for hoping this or for saying if they were wiling to give more, I’d be very happy. Because Kara is still there, still wants love and nobody has taken Mon-El’s place. Because their relationship was left on a tragic note. And because the last time they brought him back, it felt like it was on good terms, I really enjoyed it and it was respectful towards Karamel’s history, even if it wasn’t overtly in your face romantic (but open enough so fans could see something if they wanted to [because of the angry face Kara makes when Myxy talks badly of Mon-El, because of the face she makes when he gets killed, because of the face she makes when he walks past and her eyes follow him]. 

If all that happaned was Mon-El having a short cameo rather than a proper getting together arc, yeah, I would be kind of sad. But I just recently wrote a lengthy post about the many things Karamel did get already (because Karamel did get the kisses and the lseeping together and the living together and the declaring their love to each other and the true love’s kiss), and even though O do strongly think that there is still a story there, I could live with it being just a cameo. To me it would still be a nice note to leave the characters on considering their history as we have seen it so far. 

Of course people who just never saw the chemistry or the potential are free to hope for something else, but since I’m a shipper, I did see the chemistry and the potential, so yeah, why would I stop now? 

[nightwingshero]

Claws and Fangs Chapter 3

It had been a couple weeks since the incident in Holland Valley, and I had settled at the station as the newest deputy. I couldn’t exactly complain, I lucked out enough to land Joey Hudson as my partner instead of Pratt. I’ve done more observing than anything as we stayed close to the Henbane and Whitetail region. It made me a bit skittish, wondering what could possibly be in those mountains. Pratt said that when it came to human day-to-day, there was leniency. But that was about it and it didn’t apply to just anyone. I felt there was something just under the surface that I wasn’t aware of, something everyone kept in the shadows.

But we were currently on our way to break up a small dispute. Two conspiracy theorists were causing trouble, and so we were sent out to check up on it. I wasn’t sure exactly where we were going, having only been familiar with the majority of the Henbane region. Climbing up in Hudson’s beat up sheriff’s truck wasn’t something I would’ve ever seen myself doing, and I almost laugh at myself.

“So, where’s this bar again?” I asked as I buckled my seatbelt.

“Holland Valley. Not too far from here. We haven’t really ventured out that way yet, but there’s hardly ever trouble out that way. Less crazies in the valley versus up North.”

“Mmm.” I tap my black-painted fingernails against my leg as I looked out the window. I would beg to defer, but I didn’t say a word, Hudson being unaware of what ran in the darkness of Holland Valley. I was nervous, worried that the second I crossed that damn line, that he would be there, waiting. I knew it was ridiculous, that I was overreacting. But how many wolves would allow a rogue to continue crossing into their territory and show fang without consequences?

It doesn’t take long before we cross the bridge. My wolf stirs, but she stays quiet, understanding that this isn’t the time or place. I do my best to ignore the rush of adrenaline, to fight the urge to just run. It’s exhausting, fighting her more than I ever had before. I felt guilty for it, but I believed it was in our best interest, to keep us both safe.

Hudson turns on the main road, and my eyes widen a bit at the scene as we pull into Fall’s End. Cars are everywhere, as if there’s a celebration going on. People are walking around, the bar looking as if it is overflowing with people. Anxiety begins to set in as I can already tell this is going to be overwhelming. Hudson’s chuckle draws my attention, and I watch as she shakes her head and parks of the side a bit further away from the bar.

“Fucking John Seed.” She muttered with a smirk. “Should have known he’d show his face here.”

“John Seed?” I asked, the name vaguely familiar with me. It felt, and sounded, weird falling from my lips, and Hudson nodded, then motioned ahead of us. I see the back of a dark-haired man standing next to a black mustang. I tisk as I read his personalized license plate reading JSEED. The arrogance behind it was enough to baffle me, my mouth twisting a bit. I almost find it amusing at the trench coat he’s wearing, but I can’t make out much else, other than he’s accompanied by a woman and a male, all laughing together merrily.

“Yeah, him and Adelaide Drubman are good friends. They deal with real estate, him being a lawyer and her being an agent, so they work together often. They’re pretty tight.”

I remembered then that Addie had mentioned something to Rowan and me about him, but I never dug into it. He didn’t really seem relevant or important enough to. “Addie suggested us moving to the Henbane to avoid him.” I replied, throwing her a questioning look.

Hudson laughed. “Yeah, because that’s her territory. She doesn’t let him in easily, she has dibs. She works under the table now and then, for those who need it. We kinda look the other way, because honestly, we know people need it. Now, Holland Valley is different. This is his territory. You gotta go through Johnny for any legal work. He’s by the books. He also does some work with us at the station. Best attorney we have, comes from Atlanta.”

Hudson opens her door as I choke back a scoff. I wondered if this John Seed was aware of who’s territory this really belonged to, and if he would have a change of heart if he were ever to find out. As I open the door, the noise and smells hit me full force. I stumbled, my hand finding the truck as I caught myself. This was why that even though I dreamed of big cities, it would never happen. It was too much for our kind. I hadn’t been used to civilization this loud for a long time, it was almost disorienting.

I gather myself as Hudson began to walk forward, her eyes on the bar. My wolf is pacing, alert and even more curious than she was before. I flinch and fight the impulse to run as far away as I can. Hudson stops in front of the truck and turns back to me with a smile.

“He’s also one hell of an artist. Told that to Rowan when she showed me her wolf tattoo.” I smile at her as she continues. “He does a lot of tattoos for the people here.” She’s talking loudly over the noise at this point, and my ears are suffering for it. It would be hard for some, but any wolf could hear her in that damn bar, and I was standing right next to her. “Rowan also said you guys were like, wolf experts. Well, she is, at least. Being a ranger and all.”

“Yeah, you could say that.” I laughed, rolling my eyes at Rowan. She got a kick out of doing little things like that, making references that people didn’t realize had a deeper meaning.

“Anyway,” she motioned to the bar as we began to walk. “Larry Parker is pretty much a rejected science nerd. He believes that aliens are coming for all of us. He’s harmless, and is actually pretty smart, you know, outside of the obsession with things that don’t really exist. Zip Kupka, on the other hand, may be harmless, but he causes more trouble. He has no problem with coming up with conspiracy theories about anyone. He swears that Addie deals ecstasy, Grace Armstrong’s medal is due to some sort of set up, and that John Seed has a fucking sex dungeon.”

I almost choke as I throw her a look. But she just shrugs. “I would believe that about Addie before someone claimed to me that a seemingly high-up attorney was up to that.”

“Rich people pay for crazy stuff. And trust me, John Seed looks like someone who wouldn’t mind.” She threw me a smirk. “But I agree with you. You definitely have a good idea on the kind of person Adelaide Drubman is.”

“She asked me a lot of personal questions when I first met her. It wouldn’t surprise me.” I mumbled and Hudson just shook her head. We draw closer to the bar and I look up, scanning the area, when my eyes catch his.

John Seed was leaning against his car, one hand in a pocket, the other holding a cigarette to his lips as he takes a drag. My breath hitched and I slow slightly as I take him in. He’s gorgeous, that’s obvious. His dark hair is slicked back, his full beard nice and trimmed. I trace the dark lines of his tattoos on his hand as he pulled the cigarette away, a billow of smoke coming out of his nose as his thumb scratches his jawline. I swallow as something stirs in me and I can’t help but feel exposed as his dark blue eyes drill into mine. It’s then he chooses to shoot me a smile, his teeth on display.

I turn away, a blush finding its way to my face as I become flustered. I focus on Hudson as I bite my lip, a shiver running down my spine. Hudson is still talking, talking about Addie, recalling moments she had with her. She turns, shooting me a smirk.

“I told Grace and Addie just the other day that we needed some serious girl power, you know? A lot of women out here have gone soft, it’s nice to have some alpha females around, know what I mean? And I’m telling you, you’re a fucking beast. I remember you mouthing off to Pratt. Little asshole didn’t know what to think.”

I laugh as we step onto the porch throwing her a wolfish grin, my head back in the game. “Girl, you have no idea.”

We step into the bar and I immediately clench my teeth. My wolf is spooked as the crowd laughs and talks, making my eardrums ring. It turns my stomach, and the scent almost forces me to gag. I should’ve eased into this, for the both of us. At the bar, I can see two men in a heated discussion, motioning with their hands. I open my mouth to say something, but my phone goes off. Hudson turns as I pull it out, seeing Rowan’s contact on my screen.

“Looks important. You wanna take that while I deal with Dumb and Dumber?”

I look up at her. “You sure?”

“Yeah, I got this. Take the call.”

I’m thankful at the excuse to step back outside, but I can feel the slight irritation of Rowan calling me while I was working. I quickly shove my way outside, earning me a glance from the people outside. I take a few steps away from the entrance, still trying to keep distance between me and John Seed’s posse. Once at a safe distance, I answer the call.

“Rowan, what the—”

“Dutch came sniffing around the cabin.” Rowan cut me off, her voice frantic. I freeze, and I can feel my wolf rise fully, her attention undivided and no longer curious of her surroundings. I fight back the growl and scoff.

“Figuratively or literally?”

“I mean, both, I guess?” She sighed on the other side, and I could practically feel the stress from her over the phone. “He came asking questions, saying that he was just checking in to make sure we were settling in okay.”

“He’s checking up on us.”

“Yeah.” She answers, though it wasn’t a question. I huff as I look out at the houses behind the bar, my mind racing. “If it helps, Pratt wasn’t there.”

“Because Pratt is a little bitch.” I clap back immediately. “And I have to work with him, fucking asshole. Way more arrogant than he’s entitled to be, by the way.”

“Yes, and I’m sure he’s very aware of your resentment.”

“Still won’t leave me the fuck alone.” A car starts in the distance and I lean against the building behind me. “Did he say anything specific?”

“Not directly. Just touched a little bit about how he hasn’t seen us in a while. I think it’s clear though. He wants us to join him and commit—”

I don’t hold back the growl this time, something icky crawling under my skin as my gut twists. My wolf is amped up, both of us are, and I had an urge to go for the old man’s throat. “I’m not committing to someone who claims to be something they’re not. He has no claim to us, and he never fucking will. His right hand is that little arrogant errand boy of his—”

“We’ve been here long enough, Wren. There’s an alpha in the east, but I don’t know how much longer we can keep this up without it turning into something else.”

“He can’t force us to join, Rowan. And if worst comes to worst, we can leave. I know you don’t want to,” my wolf whines and I flinch, because I know she doesn’t want to leave either. “But it might have to be an option we consider.” Rowan goes quiet, absorbing everything. “Do you need me to come home?”

“No, he’s already gone.”

I play with the buttons on my deputy shirt and I bite my lip. “Call Adelaide, invite her over for dinner or something. Don’t leave yourself exposed and do something to occupy your time until I get back. We can talk more about it then.”

She agreed easily, both of us failing to find anything else to say in the moment as we hang up. My hand dropped to my side as I lean my head back against the wall. I try to take a calming breath, but I’m antsy. I exhale heavily and shove the phone in my back pocket before I push myself off the wall. I start to make my way back towards the front, when his voice calls out to me.

“You seem oh-so familiar, darling.” My head whipped around, my eyes finding John Seed’s as he smirks at me. He is still leaned against his car as he flicks his cigarette down, grinding it into the gravel and pavement with his black boot, his gaze cast downward. I go to sneer at him, no matter how cute, he isn’t allowed to speak to me that way. I take a step forward, the words on my tongue when it hits me. The blood drains from my face, my fight going right along with it. His smirk is more wolfish as he watches realization hit me like a freight chain, and he shows just the slightest bit of fang as his honey voice rings over the crowded noise in the bar behind me. “We’ve met before, haven’t we, dear? Though, it was under…. less pleasant circumstances, if I recall correctly.”

His scent is heavy and so fucking obvious now, and I kick myself for not noticing it before. It’s his territory, of course his scent is everywhere, but the longer I stand there, the more potent it becomes. I shift, putting weight on my back foot, and he moves with me as if we were tethered together. Anyone passing by would think that he was calm, relaxed, and completely at ease, but I knew better. His muscles were tense and ready, his eyes sharp, nothing escaping him. I could feel it rolling off him in waves, the dominance and authority. My heart raced and I knew he could hear it pound loudly. The absolute power of him is overwhelming, and if I run, I know he won’t let me get away this time. Not until he was ready for me to go.

“You.” I breathed and his smile widened. He pushed away from the car, standing at his full height as his hands tuck themselves in his pockets. It’s fitting for him, the sandalwood scent that has overwhelmed my space and the wolf underneath. It was all just so…him. It was on odd feeling, seeing the connection, something I had never considered before now. My eyes rake down his body, fully taking in the waistcoat and blue dress shirt. The lines of his chest that is on display from the way he left some buttons undone, the swing of a key on a chord around his neck almost hypnotizing. The feeling in my stomach returns, twisting and his eyes dance as I meet his gaze once more.

“Yes, me.” He takes a step forward, his eyes watching me as he stalks me. I fight the urge to cower, my wolf rising to the challenge. “I believe I can recall saving your life.”

“I remember being rudely attacked by your pack member.” My tongue is sharp, faster than my brain at times, and I wait in horror at his reaction, but he just laughs.

“And I remember someone showing blatant disrespect from the safety of the Henbane shortly after.”

“I could show you now, perhaps that would bring you some peace.” I take a bold step forward, the blood in my veins humming and my skin tingling. Rowan was right, perhaps. It was him that was causing such a shift in me, making me more aggressive and bolder. It was going to get me killed if I didn’t watch myself, but I couldn’t help it. I didn’t know how to.

“Now wouldn’t that be a sight to see?” he replied lowly. “You are…” He tilts his head, breathing in deeply as his eyes close. It’s a couple of seconds before he sighs out heavily, his eyes snapping open to meet my gaze. “Magnificent.”

My wolf is intrigued, and completely swept up in everything this male is and what he embodies. I’m stunned by him, not knowing how to react. I’ve never had a male react this way to me before, and my mind was trying to reevaluate, desperately trying to cling to anything I could use as a defense, to raise my guard even higher, because he was passing them with ease.

“So, I’ve been told.” The lie is smooth off my tongue, my wit and confidence coming to me the best it can with my wolf acting like a lovesick puppy, desperate for the alpha’s attention and affection. She was practically glowing under his praise.

He laughs, a dark mockery there that has the hair on the back of my neck on end. “Yes, well from what I can smell, I’m sure you have. Pratt, right?” He tilts his head, a clicking of his tongue in disapproval a knock on my nerves. “Oh darling, to let that male between your legs…”

“Fuck you.” I snarl, my wolf immediately rising to the surface, immediately offended by his crass implication. But deep down, she’s hurt by his show of disrespect. She wanted to be enough for the only male she had seen as worthy. I’m shell shocked by it as it hits me, and I use my anger to hide it. He flashes his teeth, and I can see what’s just beneath his surface.

“When and where, sweetheart? Because I have no problem with bending you over my car and having you right here.” His snarl is deep and rugged, and it causes a shiver down my spine. I’m shaking with anger and something else I can’t place.

“Dutch warned me about you.” I snapped, desperate to hurt him the way he had hurt us. “I should have listened.”

His brows pull together as he scoffs. “You think you should listen to a washed-up mutt who believes he deserves or has earned the title alpha?” John taunts. “My brothers and I came here, showed his people true leadership.”

I take a step back, shocked. “Brothers?” I breathed out.

“Yes.” He smiles again, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I have two brothers. One to the North and the other who has graciously allowed two unmated rogue females to live in his territory.” I felt like ground was spinning beneath my feet as he continues. “You think I’m not aware of what he’s doing? What that pup is trying to do? Watch your back—”

“Or what?” I snap. “You’ll do to me what you did to his niece, Jess Black?”

He stops, a look of pure confusion crossing his beautiful features, but it was gone as quickly as it came. “You think I…we did that to her? Is that what he said?”

I swallow before I continue. “That’s what…that’s what Pratt implied, he didn’t come out and say it, but he warned me that that was what would happen if I crossed the border.”

“And yet you crossed anyway.” He scoffed with a roll of his eyes before throwing me a look. “Don’t believe everything they tell you. They’re offering you a place in this poor-excuse of a pack they’re getting together. To believe that we’re not aware of the uprising they’re planning is foolish. But no, darling, as savage as I or Jacob can be, we aren’t the ones that marred that poor girl’s face. He did.”

I scoff. “I don’t believe you. Why would he do that to his own niece?”

“Why indeed.” He replied with a mere shrug. “But I think you’re starting to see it. Dutch is…known to sometimes make unexpected house calls. I’m sure that was just out of the concern for your safety. Although, I would personally recommend the good company of my dear friend, Adelaide. Sounds like you two are already well acquainted.”

I inhale sharply and clench my fists. He heard everything, which I can’t say I was surprised. Alphas’ senses were always more heightened than other wolves, but I guess I just wasn’t expecting him to use it against me. “You don’t know anything.”

He takes another step forward, towering over me as his eyes narrowed. “I know more than you think. Heed my warning, dear, because you might not hear it from anyone else. Like I said, watch your back.”

“Is that a threat?” I shot out, my chin jutting out in defiance. He just shook his head.

“Why would I threaten you? Because you’re a rogue? Darling, most of the members in our packs are former rogues banded together looking for a home. That means nothing to me. I have nothing to gain from this.”

“Other than control, right?” My question makes his brows furrow, and suddenly I feel exposed as his eyes drill into me, but I push through it. “That’s what every male wants. Absolute control—”

“Over what? You? Is that what you’re so afraid of?” He asked, his voice so soft its almost a caress against my skin. “It is, isn’t it?” I’m the one that’s confused now, because I don’t know how we got to this, I don’t know if or how he steered the conversation in this direction. I try to backpedal, but he doesn’t give me the opportunity. “Being an unmated female can be dangerous, but I’m not here to force anything on you. I’m not making you choose sides, because when you come to me, I want you to do it on your free will. I want you to choose to say yes.” He brings a finger up to lightly trace my jawline before angling my chin up, our faces inches apart. “You don’t like me, that’s fine. But I’m not here to threaten you or to take your life, I’m here to give it to you. I’m not here to own you, and honestly, I don’t think anyone could if they tried. What I’m telling you is to stay close to your true allies and know them well. That if you’re going to choose a pack, make sure it’s the right one, because there may be no going back. My advice is that you stick close to Adelaide, at least the witch knows what she’s doing over there.”

I make a twisted face at him. “That’s awfully rude, especially considering that you’re supposed to be close friends.”

He laughed with a shake of his head. “You have no idea, do you?”

“What--?”

“Hey, Rookie!” Hudson called and I could hear the door slam. We both pull away, John taking a few steps back and his hands returning to his pockets as he rocks back on his heels at complete ease. I couldn’t say the same. I was scattered, my skin buzzing and my wolf just as confused. It was as if I were watching a ping pong battle, trying to keep up with the moods of John Seed. Hudson walked up with a smirk.

“Deputy Hudson.” John greeted her with a smooth smile, his voice nothing but a soft, honey eloquence, as if we had been talking about nothing but the weather and becoming fast friends. “A pleasure as always.”

“I’m sure it is.” Hudson smirked before eyeing me. “I see you’ve met our new addition, Wren Blake.” I have to fight the urge to flinch as John’s eyes flicker to me one more time before returning his attention to Hudson. I wanted to avoid giving him any information about me, but part of me felt that it wouldn’t have mattered. My last name was on my shirt, and he seemed resourceful enough. If he wanted it, he would get it.

“I did. Lucky for you to have such a pleasant partner.” He throws me a smile and I hate myself for the blush across my cheeks and the stutter of my heart. Damn him. Damn him to hell. “Much better than the utter fool you have running around over there.”

Hudson snorted with a roll of her eyes. “You’re telling me. Pratt is annoying as hell. Good to have some good company for a change.” I’m quiet as they continue, just listening to their conversation. I almost expected her to mouth off to him, just like she did with Pratt because he tried to pull the ‘alpha male’ on her. But she doesn’t, even though I can feel his confidence and authority come off him in waves, almost a superiority that Hudson didn’t seem to react negatively towards. She laughs with a shake of her head, her hand slapping against his arm in a friendly manner, but my wolf doesn’t like it.

I feel it, the rage boiling inside as the jealous starts to spread quickly through my veins. It’s not mine, it’s hers. And I’m fighting to keep myself from showing fang and growling at Hudson in warning. It’s almost suffocating, the need to tell her to back the fuck off and the panic that’s rising in me to stay in control. Hudson turns to answer a call on her radio as John’s eyes pierce me, shock that’s immediately replaced with concern. I don’t know what this is, humans had never forced a reaction out of me like this. So close to shifting, I’m trying to focus.

“Breathe.” It’s a mere whisper, but I hear his voice loud and clear. I cling to it, desperate for anything to anchor me down before I lost it. I’m scared, and I hate him because ever since I’ve met him, ever since I ran into his godforsaken scent, I’ve been out of sorts. I wanted to cry and scream, anything to release what was building up. He moves while Hudson talks, grabbing my wrist and squeezing until he has my attention. “Breathe. Relax. You have to stay in control. You’re okay, focus on me.” My immediate response would be to push him away, to scoff and tell him not to touch me. But my skin is warm where he’s touching it and I’m breathing him in with every breath I take, that I can’t help the pull I feel.

I also feel the pressure, the surge of authority from his wolf to keep me in check, the use of his dominance forcing my wolf back down. It’s a bitter taste in my mouth that’s making my face twist as I realize the power he has. How easy it is for him to make me bend by the sheer will of it. I flinch back, my wrist pulling from his grasp as I look away and take a step back. I throw him a glare as he straightens, his face now a mask I don’t recognize.

“Alright, we gotta head out. Wren, you ready?”

I jump and look at her as she turns to me with a smile. I gave her a hesitant smile in return, forcing everything down. “Yeah, whenever you are.”

“Cool, let’s go.” She turned to John with a wave. “I’ll see you later, Seed. Stay out of trouble.”

He catches my gaze. “No promises.” His voice is low, and contrary to his words, his eyes held a promise that sent a shiver down my spine as we walked away.

[thecleverdame]

TTWDBI - TWO

Part Two - Control

Masterlist

Summary: Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader -Sam’s young, powerful and comes from one of the wealthiest families in New York. When he meets an Omega bartender who’s far from what his family expects, Sam is forced to make a series of hard choices.

Warnings: A/B/O dynamics, smut, knotting, breeding, dominance, ownership, angst, family drama

-

The moment you push the front door open she’s giving you a piece of her mind.

“I hope to God that’s my roommate. I’ve been praying she’s not dead in a gutter somewhere.” Donna’s disembodied voice chastises you from the kitchen.

“Sorry,” you call out, throwing your coat on the back of a ratty armchair.

“Do you have any idea of how worried I was? Two nights and you don’t call or text. I was ready to call the police.” Leaning around the corner she’s in a silk robe and head full of curlers. she stops short when she lays eyes on you for the first time. “Holey Moley, you look like death warmed over. Did you sleep on a park bench?”

“Well, don’t sugar coat it.” Dropping onto the couch you lean back and sink in.

“Seriously, are you okay?” She takes a seat on the coffee table, cupping a mug of coffee. Leaning forward she sniffs in your direction. “Yeesh.”

“Oh come on…” You roll your eyes.

“You stink like sex and Alpha sweat..” She wrinkles her nose.

“I took a shower.” Picking up the neck of your shirt you sniff it.

“You need another one.” She grins, offering you a sip. “Jesse called, said you left work early on Saturday with some guy. He’s pissed, by the way. No one could get a hold of you.”

“Shit. I need to beg his forgiveness. I left him high and dry. And I’m sorry, my phone died. It’s been a strange thirty-six hours.” You shake your head fighting the urge to curl into a ball and fall asleep.

“There better be a good story. I need something to give me hope. The land between my legs is as dry as the Sahara with no rain in sight. I can barely remember what a penis looks like.”

She giggles and you can’t help but laugh with her.

“I don’t even know where to start.” You peak at her with one eye open. “It’s been…intense.”

“But there’s a guy?”

“Yes. Most definitely a guy.”

“Well don’t clam up now. I want all the details.” Donna slides onto the couch next you.

If there’s ever been a person you can talk to, it’s Donna. From the moment you met, there was an instant friendship. And while she can be a little naive, she’s one of the few people who’s never judged you.

You tell her about meeting Sam at the bar and going home with him. You describe how intense the attraction was and is, and that you let him claim you. You even relive the horror of waking up to his asshole of a father.

She doesn’t speak until you’re done, just listens with a hand pressed over her mouth. When you’re finally finished she’s bug-eyed as if you just told you were a vampire.

Her eyes dart to your neck as she gulps. “Can I see it?”

“Yeah.” You pull your hair back giving her an up-close view of Sam’s bite.

“Holy shit.” She whispers, looking back and forth between you and the mark. “It looks…did it hurt?”

“Kinda of, I don’t remember much. It’s sort of a blur.”

“Yeah, I bet.” She scoffs, nodding slowly.

“Is that all you’re gonna say?” You ask hesitantly. Her opinion matters more she knows.

“I need to think about this. It’s a lot to hit a girl with.” Donna never shuts up so the fact that she’s tight-lipped speaks volumes. “Are you happy?”

When you answer that question, it’s an honest response.

“I think so.”

“Well, that’s all I care about.” She smiles, squeezing your forearm. “And you know I love you like the dickens, but you do need a shower.”

–

After a twenty minute nap and a shower, you head on to the one errand that can’t wait - the health clinic.

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about. If you weren’t in heat when you met him it’s doubtful you’d be ovulating. I’ve never seen an Omega pregnancy outside of a monthly cycle.” The doctor nods, tipping her head to the side, gauging your reaction.

“Good.” You run a hand over your stomach. “Can I get on birth control today? Things are kinda hot and heavy - I’d like to be safe.”

“Of course,” She rolls on her stool, grabbing a notepad and coming back over to you. “We’ll get you set up before you leave and you’ll be good to go in twenty-four hours.”

“Awesome.” You nod, swinging your legs as the paper on the exam table crinkles underneath you.

“I just need to double check your neck and we’ll be good.” Finishing her notes she smiles.

Shit.

Before you can stop her she’s pushing your hair back only to be met with the angry, red bite.

“Oh.” The sound is soft as she recoils, looking at you apologetically. “You didn’t tell me you were claimed.”

“I didn’t think it made a difference.”

She purses her lips. You both know that’s a lie.

“I’m sorry, I can’t prescribe you birth control without the express consent your Alpha.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” You’ve heard of the laws and regulations but being unclaimed until now it’s never directly affected you.

“Look, if it was up to be me I’d take care of you right now. But I could lose my medical license. The law is clear, your Alpha has sole discretion when it comes to the reproductive rights of their Omega. Unless…it wasn’t consensual? Cases of sexual assault and forced claiming are the only exceptions I’m allowed to make.”

“No, God, it’s nothing like that. I wanted it. I just wasn’t prepared.”

“These things happen and I’m more than willing to put you on something but I’ll have to get permission from your Alpha first. I’m sorry.”

Permission.

The word rattles around in your skull like dice in a cup. Never in your life have you asked permission for anything. Even as a child you had trouble falling in line with normal parental expectations. And now, at twenty-five, you’re going to have to go to Sam and ask if he’ll allow it.

The entire scenario makes your blood boil.

–

“It’s about fucking time.” Dean hisses as Sam slides into the seat next to him. The boardroom is filled beyond capacity and the presentation is starting. Dean shoves a manilla folder toward his brother. “Quarter four prospectus. Kevin’s doing the powerpoint so it should be a real nail-biter.”

“All right guys, if everyone could turn to page five of your packets.” Kevin stands up as someone hits the lights. The door toward the back of the room opens and John walks in, taking his place at the back of the table. Sam doesn’t have to look to feel his father’s eyes boring holes into the back his head.

Dean rocks back in his chair whispering, “You’re in some deep shit.”

“Shut up.” Sam snips.

Dean is quiet for a few minutes but he can’t help himself.

“So fucked…” His sing-songs under this breath.

“Dean.” Sam hisses, shooting him a glare.

When the meeting ends John is already preparing for the next one. His schedule is jam-packed from morning to night and Sam knows he’ll be able to avoid his father, at least for the remainder of the day.

Dean follows Sam back to his office, refraining from commenting until they’re alone. Once the door clicks shut nothing holds him back.

“What the fuck?” Dean blurts, trailing Sam to his desk.

“Oh my God, I can’t get two minutes to collect myself?”

“You don’t get to pull a stunt like that and get time for yourself. Who are you and what have you done with Sam?”

Sam rolls his eyes.. “Things just happened. I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Breakfast for dinner just happens. Trips to Vegas just happen. Claiming some Omega that mom and dad haven’t met? That shit isn’t an impulse. That’s a big frickin’ deal.”

“Dean,” Sam sighs. He doesn’t know where to start but his brother doesn’t give him the chance anyway.

“I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone. You played that one close to the chest.”

“Well, I haven’t known her that long.” Sam looks up at this brother.

“How long is not that long?” Dean inquires, already taken aback.

“Here it comes.” Sam shakes his head, looking up at the ceiling. “I met her Saturday night.”

Dean’s nostrils flare, looking at Sam closely. “You’re fucking with me.”

“No,” Sam confirms. “But man, I’m telling you, she’s different, her scent - this is gonna sound crazy but Dean, I think it’s a true bond.”

“Will you please be serious for two seconds.” Dean glares at him.

“I’m trying to explain what happened-”

“You’re so full of shit.” Dean snorts. “I can not believe you claimed some girl you don’t even know. This is what happens when you don’t get out and get laid every once in a while. Blue balls make you do crazy shit.”

“Dean, I’m telling you, this wasn’t like anything I’ve ever felt before. She’s meant to be mine. I knew it from the moment I saw her.”

“Wow,” Dean absentmindedly adjusts his watch, looking at Sam like he’s a space alien. “I’ve pulled some shit in my day. But I’ve never been so drunk and so fuckin’ horny that I claimed a mate. Jesus man, this isn’t good. How are you not freaking out?”

“Because…I can’t explain to you how this feels.”

“Is her pussy made of magic dust or something?”

“Don’t, Dean.” Sam cautions.  

“You’re not making me into the asshole here little brother. Maybe I should ask - are you my brother? Toe-the-line Sam. The guy who reads a hundred yelp reviews before he picks a restaurant. The Sam who decided he wanted a new television and spent a week reading Consumer Reports. Have you seen that guy?”

“You’re not listening to me.”

“No, I’m hearing you loud and clear. Love at first sight. You know what this is? You’re thinking with your dick instead of your brain. Most guys get it out of their system in college. I bet you don’t know anything about this chick, do you?” Dean gets up from his seat and leans over Sam’s desk. “What’s her last name?”

Sam gives Dean the bitchiest stare of his life and Dean throws his hands up.

“What’s her favorite color? Does she eat red meat?”

Sam says nothing.

“Do you know anything about her?”

“I know that I’ve never wanted anything in my life the way I wanted her. The way I still want her. Dean, what happened wasn’t a choice. I had to have her.” Sam knew Dean would be a hard sell, but he expected at least a little understanding.

“Do I look like some thirteen-year-old girl to you?” Dean quips, becoming more disgusted by the minute. “Because you’re trying to feed me some line about fairytale bullshit, so I must look like I believe it.”

“I thought you of all people would cut me a little slack.” Sam points at his brother.

“Why? Because I have a history of poor choices? I may have partied my way through school and dated a stripper - which, for the record was not about pissing dad off - but you’re messing with your entire life, man. This is some serious shit.”

“I’m aware.” Spinning his cell phone in his hand Sam wishes he stayed home.

“How are you, of all people, not freaking out right now? You’ve gotta be thinking it - a hot chick like that throwing herself at one of New York’s most eligible bachelors…”

It’s a reference to an article from last month. Both Dean and Sam ended up profiled on NY Magazine’s most eligible bachelors’ list. Sam had rolled his eyes and Dead hadn’t minded the attention while their mother had been thrilled beyond belief.

“Don’t start with that again,” Sam warns.

“Girls that look like her don’t just end up with the first Alpha who takes them home. There’s a reason she let you claim her.”

“I picked her up, Dean. I came onto her. And it wasn’t just a whim, what happened between us was…powerful.” Sam’s done with this conversation. He unplugs his laptop, standing to leave.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m gonna lock myself in a conference room and get some work done. I don’t wanna be stuck here all night.”

–

Sam sent a text asking you to meet him for dinner at eight.

You own precisely one black cocktail dress that you found on a rack at Goodwill. It was dry cleaned right after you bought it and has been hiding in the back of your closet for nearly two years. It’s finding a set of matching undergarments that turns out to be the real challenge as you sort through a pile of clean laundry that’s been in the basket for the better part of a week.

With curled hair and polished makeup, you look significantly better than you feel. You’re still exhausted and sore, but you’re not going to let either of those things stop you.  

You arrive at Eleven Madison Park just after eight. When you invoke the Winchester name, the hostess smiles brightly and informs you that Mr. Winchester is already waiting.

Sam stands as you approach the table. He’s the gentleman you expect him to be but it’s still a novelty. Your last boyfriend wouldn’t even get you a beer from the fridge.

“Hi,” He grins, kissing your cheek. His eyes flit down his bite, the corners of his mouth twitching.

“Hello.” You reply, unable to look away.

A porter appears to take your coat and Sam’s grin widens at the sight of you in this tight little black dress.

Placing both hands on your hips he pulls you close as if you’re the only two people in the room. He kisses you softly, lips brush lips as he speaks. “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you.” You whisper as he pulls away only to offer you a chair.

“Really,” He continues, settling in across from you. His eyes are just as hungry as when he took you home. “You look breathtaking.”

“You’re not too bad yourself.” It’s not just lip service. Sam looks damn good in a suit, his tie perfectly in place. And now that you know what’s underneath his dress shirt, all that thick muscle, it’s like having a dirty secret.

“What?” He questions your gaze.

“Nothing. I like your tie.” You cover.

He’s eyeing your cleavage unabashedly because there’s no reason to be bashful at this point. He’s seen every inch of you over the last two days and you’re just as attracted to him as he is you.

He orders wine and oysters and the two you begin the process of getting to know each other. Well, right after you handle some urgent business.

“There’s something we need to talk about.” You set your glass down, fighting the urge to feel embarrassed.

“Sounds serious,” Sam smirks.

“It is.” You confirm, looking around to make sure no one is paying attention to you.

His expression grows serious as he leans in.

“I wasn’t looking for anyone when I met you, I mean - not just a mate. I never really even did the hookup thing. So, I’m not on any birth control.”

“Oh.” Sam sits back.

He’s not sure what’s coming next but he feels like a fool for not thinking of it before. The last girl he fucked bareback was his college girlfriend and they’d been together for a year before he even entertained the idea. Even then it made him nervous. He’s never been one to roll the dice. Even if it’s with his mate. Despite his recent impulsive actions Sam prefers his life planned out in painstaking detail.

“And, this is probably a conversation we should have again in the future, but I’m not ready to have children. I’m young, I have a lot of things I want to do before I think about pups.” You pause to watch Sam, his face unreadable. “I know you’re my Alpha and you’re supposed to have a say in this, but it’s not what I want.”

“I agree.” Sam offers calmly, reaching across the table to take your hand, his thumb rubbing over your knuckles. “I do want kids, someday I’d like to have a family. But not any time soon.”

Your brain gets stuck on the idea of having his children. Letting him knot you and then watching your belly grow with his baby. But logic overrules biological impulse and you shake it off and continue.

“The reason I’m bringing this up right now is that I went to the clinic this morning hoping they’d put me on something only to find out that I don’t have the authority to make my own decisions anymore.” Pausing, you collect yourself. It’s not his fault and it’s not fair to be mad at him. “You have to come with me and sign a release.”

“Okay.” Sam shifts in his seat. He knows this is just the first in a long list of responsibilities he hasn’t realized yet. You’re clearly upset by the situation and he wants you to feel comfortable, to be happy that you’re his. “We can go first thing in the morning if you want. I don’t have a meeting until ten thirty.”

After two rounds of fresh oysters, you move on to one of the best meals of your life. It’s just handmade pasta with a light sauce but the flavors are bold and a far cry from the box mac and cheese you usually throw together.

Sam eats his steak pausing between every bite to look up at you, carefully observing as if he’s taking notes for later.

“I almost Googled you.” You confess. “I had your name typed out twice but I didn’t go through with it.”

“Why not?” Sam’s eyes narrow.

“I wanted to get to know you first, form my own opinion before I read someone else’s.”

He relaxes a bit. His forearm resting on the table as stares at you. “Good.”

“If I had looked you up what would it say?”

His lip twitches as he strums his fingers on the tablecloth.

“Depends on if you look up just me or the family. But in a nutshell? Old money, ruthless father, private. My brother is more likely to turn up the interesting search results.”

“No big scandals?”

“No,” Sam laughs dryly. “My father makes sure of that. Dean’s had a few indiscretions over the years but they always disappear.”

“That sounds terrifying.”

“He’s just good at giving people what they want as an incentive to go away, which most of the time is money.”

“I think I saw a Lifetime movie like that once. Mobsters and backroom secrets.” You smile.

“It’s not nearly as interesting, I can promise you that.” Clearing his throat, Sam sits up, his jaw jutting forward as if he’s going to speak but thinking better of it.

“What?”

“What I just said, about my dad, you can’t repeat that to anyone. I can’t have people in my life that aren’t discreet. I need you to know that’s a non-negotiable for me. ”

You’re offended before the sentence is even finished. Placing your hands together in your lap you lean over the table, lowering your voice.

“That’s a pretty nasty ultimatum for a first date.”

“I don’t mean to offend you. That’s the last thing I want. We belong to each other now but there are times when I don’t have the luxury of sugar coating things. There are a lot of people that would love to see my family fail, love to see John Winchester’s son go up in flames. So, while I don’t want you to be mad at me, it’s something I have to be crystal clear about. And I want to be able to talk with you openly without worrying. I need to be sure what’s said between us stays between us.”

“Message received.” You quip.

“Are you pissed at me?”

“A little.”

Your admission makes him frown, brow furrowing. “I’m sorry.”

“I’ll get over it. I’d rather have you be upfront than play games. But for future reference, I’d prefer if you assume my intentions are honorable. I’m a loyal person and you are my Alpha now. I wouldn’t betray you.

Sam can’t help the smile that grows wide, blooming ear to ear.

By the time dessert arrives you’ve moved on to a game. Each of you can ask a question that both have to answer.

“Did you grow up here, in the city?” Sam questions.

“No. I’m originally from Connecticut. I’m a small town kid who couldn’t wait to move to the city. Two months after I turned eighteen I was out of the house.” You pick at the cheesecake, watching him thoughtfully. If it’s possible he’s even more handsome than when he left you this morning.

“Why were you in such a hurry?” The best thing you’ve discovered about Sam thus far is that he asks a question because he wants to hear the answer. He’s not just waiting to respond. He wants to know who you are and the feeling is mutual.

“My parents are…conservative and my sister and I rebelled every chance we got. My dad was always preaching you live under my roof, you live by my rules. So I left his house as soon as I could because I’ve never been very good at following rules.”

Sam chuckles, raising his eyebrows as if he already knows about your wild streak. “What happened to your sister?”

“She’s in the city…I think. We’re not exactly close. She’s always had her demons to deal with.” You don’t want to ruin this perfect dinner by diving into your family dysfunction so you shift the focus back to him. “What about you?”

“My family has a place in Scarsdale. My brother and I spend most of our time there. Dad worked and my mom was MIA but we had a great nanny, Ellen. She still puts me in my place from time to time.”

Grinning you sit back, momently stuck on how long his fingers are as they rest casually on the table.

“Tell me Sam, were you a rule breaker or rule follower?”

“Follower, for sure.” He snorts. “My brother Dean was a menace and I was so eager to please my father back then. I had to be perfect at everything.”

“You’re not a follower anymore?”

“When I went to college I started to realize that I had choices. I didn’t have to do what he expected. I could say no and ultimately there wasn’t anything he could do. Once I started to become my own person my father saw it as a personal insult. I’d always done everything he wanted and suddenly I dared to buck his authority. It was never anything bad. He wasn’t going to stop my tuition because I was interested in Law instead of business, and I knew it. The more he tried to control me the more I resented him. It’s just snowballed from there.”

“What a rebel.” You tease and his cheeks flush pink. Despite engaging in some genuinely filthy sexual acts with you it’s the first time you’ve seen him display any modesty.

“My turn.” You continue, offering respite. “If you could host a dinner party with any three people, alive or dead, real or fictional, who would they be and why?”

Sam laughs accompanied by a bright toothy grin and takes a drink while he thinks. He hasn’t had this much fun in a long time. He finds himself excited, eager to see what you’ll say next and how you’re going to react to his answers.

“Well, definitely Elon Musk because he’s constantly pushing toward the future and thinking outside the box. Jules Verne, because I had an obsession with 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea in high school. And…you.”

“Oh no,” You wag your finger. “No cheating. I’m helping you host this dinner party. I’m there by default. Pick a third.”

“You’re brutal.” He chuckles, biting his lip. “Okay, Hermione Granger.”

“Harry Potter?” You lean forward. “Why?”

“Because she’s this small little person who’s brave beyond reason. I like a strong woman.” He shrugs. “I feel like she could teach me a thing or two.”

Sam is indeed full of surprises.

“Alright,” he circles his finger in your direction. “Three people. Go.”

“Kurt Vonnegut, even though I have this feeling that he would ruin my party with his dark humor. Neil Armstrong because I want to ask what it felt like to be the first man to walk on the moon and…Freddie Mercury. Because he showed up to have fun but also had depth. I like complex people.”

“Good choices.” Sam nods. “Alright. Next question. How long was your last relationship?”

You take a breath, the levity fading fast as he goes in for the kill. Of course, he wants to know about your past, it’s natural.

“Two years, give or take.” You answer honestly, not offering more.

“What happened?”

“That’s more than one question.”

“I told you I’m a rule breaker these days. Humor me.”

“He seemed great at first and ended up being…not a very nice person. He got off on making me feel bad, so I left.” There’s a lot more you’re not telling him, but that’s a story for another time. “Alright Barbara Walters, spill it.”

Sam chuckles, perhaps from nerves almost as if he hadn’t thought about the fact that he’d have to reciprocate.

“Three months. It was a doomed office romance and I should have known better. We weren’t compatible.”

“Was she an Omega?” You’re jealous, couldn’t hide it if you wanted to.

“No.” He quips, clearly hearing the change in your tone. “Beta.”

“Good.” You cross your arms across your chest.

“I have an important question for you. Probably the most important question of the night.” He looks at you with a stare that makes your thighs clench, like he’s about to eat you whole.

“You better ask me then.”

“Are you going to spend the night with me?” He’s got both forearms on the table, leaning toward you with unrelenting intensity. It never occurred to you the night would end any other way, but you like that he’s pretending there’s a question. Offering up a modicum of power in your direction.

“I’d love to.”

—

“I’ve been thinking about you all day.” He sets his drink down on the bedside table, turning to look at you with a smoldering stare. You freeze mid-step, watching as he rolls up his sleeves, first one, then the other.

“Me too.” You confess, feeling excitement bubbling in your belly.

“Take your dress off.” He requests softly, sitting on the edge of the bed as he loosens his tie.

Sam might be young but he has the confidence of a man twice his age. It’s an incredible aphrodisiac.

You reach behind your back, pulling at the zipper and sliding it down until the dress is loose enough to drop around your waist before falling to the ground.  

Sam’s cock springs to life in the blink of an eye at the sight of you in matching black lace and a pair of high heels. You look like something out of a pinup fantasy and the notion that you’re his is still hard to fathom.

“Come here.” He remains seated as you walk to him hips moving, swaying side to side.

Once you’re within reach he grabs the outside of your thighs with two bigs hands, pulling you to stand between his legs. He glances up momentarily before pressing a kiss to your stomach right above your navel. Your breath hitches and he does it again, dragging his lips over your skin.

“I was in a such a hurry when we were together.” He mumbles into your skin, his tongue dipping into your belly button as his fingers curl into the back of your legs. “Gonna take my time tonight.”

“Sam,” you whimper bringing both hands to his hair while he’s peppering kisses over your belly.

Both hands slide up the back of your legs, open palms ready when he gets to your ass, cupping both cheeks in tandem. He nuzzles lower, lips fluttering and pecking until he reaches the edge of your panties.

One of the hands squeezing your buttocks circles around to the front, as he swipes two fingers over your covered pussy, just a light touch that elicits a quiet moan.

“Are you wet for me Omega?” He asks, looking up with lust filled eyes.

“Yes,” you whimper as his fingers press against the material again, trailing upward where he pushes lightly over your clit.

“Better check.” He grins, kissing your belly once more.

Pushing your panties aside he slides his middle finger under the fabric, slipping between the lips of your sex and into your slick. You rock forward, moaning and grabbing his shoulders as he pushes his finger deeper, just enough to make you feel it but not enough to really be inside.

“I didn’t get the chance to touch you, taste you. I’m gonna make up for that.” His head dips down as two clever fingers hook the crotch of your underwear, yanking them out of the way as his head dips down. His tongue darts out, traveling the same route as his finger, dipping shallow into your slit, tasting how aroused you are. Sliding your hands into his hair you moan at the slippery warmth of his mouth gliding over your sex. You can feel the tip of his tongue scooping up and down, circling your clit, licking several times before he pulls away.

Your eyes pop open as his mouth leaves your body but there is no time to feel disappointed.

“Lay down.” Sam gets to his feet as you crawl onto the bed and roll on your back. He makes no move to shed his clothes despite the apparent erection straining at the crotch of his dress pants. The few items he does remove are his shoes, then his tie before he joins you, laying on his side. Propping himself up with one hand, he spreads the other hand over your belly, pressing down as stare up at him.

“I want to know your body, every inch of you. What makes you feel good, how you like to be touched. I want to always be able to satisfy you.”

You whimper, watching his mouth as he speaks. His pink lips seem to only add to the intensity of his words. With his free hand, he pulls the cup of your bra down, uncovering a hard nipple. Then does the same with other so that both your tits are exposed. Licking his lips he takes your nipple between this thumb and forefinger, pinching lightly.

You watch him touch you, wiggling as he tugs at your peak, squeezing gently.

“Too much?” he asks, waiting for your response.

“No,” you choke out. Your eyes flutter to his, only to find him watching you intently.

You’ve never felt this exposed before, this utter vulnerability as he slowly, deliberately begins his study of your preferences, the very definition of intimacy as you do what he asks, being honest about what turns you on.

“Harder.” You breathe.

He draws in a sharp breath seeming pleased by your answer. Squeezing your nipple firmly he pinches harder until it becomes nearly too much. Then he twists and your back arches off the mattress. You cry out as the pain becomes something else as it travels between your legs. Your clit is throbbing, pulsing with every beat of your heart.

He leaves one breast only to move to the other, clamping his finger around your sensitive peak and tugging as the pressure of his touch increases until you’re whimpering and writhing. He alternates between breasts, going back and forth from one to the other, plucking and twisting until both nipples are puffy and swollen. You’re convinced that if he keeps going you’re going to be able to cum from just his hands.

He continues to tug as he lowers his mouth to your tit, sucking the peak into his mouth and letting his teeth scrap over the sensitive flesh.

“Sam,” you call out, grasping at the sheets.

He takes his sweet time, sucking and licking, carefully playing the bud between his teeth until you’re sweating and ready to finger yourself just to get some relief.

Your hand moves over your lower belly only to be stopped short as he grabs your wrist and pins your hand beside your head.

“Tell me what you want.” He looks up as his mouth leaves one wet, aching nipple in favor of the other.

“I want you to touch me.” Moaning you fist a hand in his hair.

“I am touching you.” He smiles, mumbling with your breast in his mouth. “You’re going to have to be more specific.”

“Sam,” you whine, gulping and biting your lip as his mouth works your tits.

“Tell me.”

Yeah, you’re slightly embarrassed but you’re even more turned on. Every inch of your body is on fire and he’s not even touched your pussy yet.

“Touch me with your hands.” You struggle for the words.

“Where?”

Damn him.

“Between my legs.” You’ve never considered yourself bashful when it comes to sex but giving an explicit instruction is new territory.

One hand spreads wide under your ribcage, fingers fanning out as he slides down over your belly and then lower. He cups your crotch, the heel of his palm presses over your mound and fingers curling under, reaching nearly back to your asshole.

He is going to make you spell it.

“No, I want your fingers-”

“Like this?” He moves as fast as you speak running three fingers up the material of your panties, sliding over your slit, slowly back and forth. While it feels good, it’s not nearly enough. He’s not touching your clit or pressing hard enough and you want something to fill you up.

“God damn it- oh fuck!” Sam bites down on your nipple, rolling the flesh between pearly white teeth and you groan, twisting like a mad woman.

“Tell me how you want to be touched.”

Any self-conscious concerns fly out the window.

“Put your fingers inside my panties and fuck me with them.”

He smirks, smiling against the flesh under your breast.

“What hole?”  It’s a simple question but it makes your cunt clench.

“My pussy. Fuck my pussy with your fingers.”

“Okay.” His head pops up, watching your face as his hand disappears inside your underwear and you feel long digits pressing along the slippery opening of your sex. “How many fingers?”

“Oh, I - T-two.” You sputter.

“Anything you want, baby.” You’re both watching his hand moving under the lace of your panties when he slides two fingers quick and deep until his knuckles are against your lips. He pulls out halfway and shoves them back inside, scissoring, stretching you wide as he pumps in and out at the torturously slow pace. “You’re so fucking wet. Can’t wait to get my cock in here.”

“Fuck,” you call out as he curls his fingers upward and you see stars. You’re close to cumming but you don’t want to, not yet. There’s nothing like the build-up before a first orgasm when everything is tingling and aching with need. And as long as he’s taking instructions you’re not ready to give the feeling up.

“I want your mouth on my pussy. Suck on my clit.”

“There’s my girl,” Sam growls and pulls his fingers out of you. He gets up in record time, still fully dressed as he removes your panties. Grabbing your feet he hauls you to the edge of the bed with one flex of muscle. Then kneels on the floor and dives face first between your shaking thighs.  

And Sam takes instruction well because he does just as you asked. His lips seal around your little aching bud, engulfing the most sensitive part of you and he sucks. Your eyes roll all the way back into your skull, mouth wide open and tongue cleaving to the roof of your mouth. When he finally takes a breath, he licks the full length of your slit, getting a tongue full of your slick and groaning in satisfaction before he’s back to sucking, just as you requested.

“Gonna cum.” You gasp, fighting to speak.

“Do it.” He mumbles against your wet, quivering flesh.

“No, I don’t want-” You can’t finish the sentence without moaning loudly and he stops, his head popping up from between your legs, lips, and chin glistening.

“What’s wrong?” He asks suddenly concerned, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Nothing,” You stop to take a breath, staring at the ceiling. Propping yourself up on your elbows you look at the filthy sight of him staring at you intently from between your knees. “I want you to fuck me first. Make me cum with your cock inside me.”

The conversation you had earlier in the night floods back to you. This is a dangerous game, your body wants him inside you, to knot you and to breed you.  At this moment every inch of your being wants to bear his children. But you’re not wholly irrational. There’s still a slice of you that has the presence of mind to say something.

“You’ll have to pull out.” You gasp as his fingers slide back into your pussy, slowly swirling before spreading inside you.  

“I will.” He nods.

His grin is nothing short of wolfish as he pulls his shirt over his head. His eyes are fixed on your pussy as he unbuckles his belt, and drops his pants to the floor. His underwear must have gone with them because his huge cock is suddenly bobbing below his belly. That cock that nearly fucked the life out of you just yesterday seems like the only satisfaction you’ll ever need.

“How?” Sam tips his head, eyes darting from between your legs to meet your stare. “What position?”

“From behind.” You offer but you don’t move, instead, you’re determined to take advantage of the situation. If he wants to know what you like then you’re going to make it as clear as possible. “I want you to tell me what to do now. Fuck me as hard as you want, make me take you so deep it hurts.”

“Fuck,” Sam whispers, biting his lower lip. His nostrils flare as he fists his cock. “On your hands and knees Omega. Get your ass in the air.”

You roll onto your stomach, and push yourself up, assuming the position. There’s a dip in the mattresses as he knees his way to you. You feel one hand on your ass cheek and the other at the base of your spine.

“Curve your back.” You stick your butt up, as his hand settles along the dip in your spine. “Good, just like that.”

You feel him lineup, your aching channel easily swallowing the head of his thick shaft as he pushes into you inch by inch. He doesn’t stop until his balls rock into your clit and your lips are flush with his thatch of neatly trimmed pubic hair. There’s no way you’re ever going to get used to this. There are a lot of things that a girl can get accustomed to over time but the feeling of his girth filling and stretching your needy cunt is not one of them. He’s always going to feel this big, you’re sure of it.

“Gonna give you this cock now sweetheart.” His hands grab the flesh of your ass, kneading the skin. “You’re gonna take every inch aren’t you?”

There is a kind of inherent nonverbal communication between you. You don’t have to tell him this part, that his obscene words are precisely what you need, he just knows. He can read your body’s reactions like a roadmap that’s telling him where to go next.

“Yes,” you hiss as he leans back, letting you feel the drag of his cockhead. He pulls out all the way, leaving you painfully empty but only for a second before he’s pushing back inside, burying himself to the hilt.

“Can you feel how deep I am?” He asks, curling over your back. A hand snakes around your side and under your belly. He presses on your lower stomach, rocking his hips until you feel his cock bulging out to meet his hand. “My cock’s too big for your tight little pussy, I’m all the way in your stomach.”

“Alpha,” you moan, forehead hitting the mattress.

With a hand on each hip, he begins to pump in and out, fucking you with the entire length of his dick. One hand is suddenly in your hair, yanking back until your spine curves back and your breasts are in the air, bouncing with every thrust.

The stretch of his shaft is perfection, taking you right to the limit of what your cunt can handle without pushing over the edge. If there was any question that you were  made to fit together it’s erased as he slides in to the root.

Twisting your head to the side you want to kiss him, touch him, but in this position, it’s just the unrelenting thrust of his hips against your ass.

“Please - touch - me” you beg between breaths, panting as the speed increases, faster and harder. This time he doesn’t make you spell it out, instead, he lets go of your hair and snakes a hand under your hips to find your clit. His middle finger finds the target almost immediately and you cry out, shoving your body back into him, desperate to take all of him inside.

When you cum your whole body shakes, the pleasure winding up and exploding out in all directions. You can feel your pussy clenching around his fat cock, squeezing and bearing down on him until your body finds it’s sought after satisfaction.

When it’s over, you’re a rag doll as he holds you in place rutting into your pussy at a break-neck pace. You can feel his knot swell, thickening as he forces it in with every pump. But before it’s too late he pulls out, slapping you on the ass.

“Turn over.” He groans and you roll onto your back just in time for him to cum. He shoots wet, warm and thick over your breasts and belly, stroking more and more out until you’re covered in his seed. Mouth agape and eyes open, admiring the mess he’s made.

“Fuck.” He chuckles, flopping onto his back beside you with a shit eating grin. Running a hand down his face he turns to look at you with rosy-cheeks and the happiest smile you’ve ever seen on a man. “You’re amazing.”

“I didn’t even do anything.” You laugh, still breathless.

“You don’t need to.”

Sam watches you use the sheets to wipe yourself off and then turn onto your side to face him. He’s cupping his knot, his hand curled around the base of the shaft. You’ve not seen a knot before. Felt one, yes, but never laid on eyes on a fully popped specimen. Alpha knots don’t present from just any stimulation, hand jobs and blow jobs don’t do the trick. It is, after all, a biological response to the urge to breed. So the only time they truly reach their full size is during intercourse.

But Sam must have come incredibly close to cumming inside you because he popped for sure.

Looking up at him you’re almost embarrassed that he’s caught you staring, but not really. You’re too interested.

“Can I see it?” You ask thoughtfully.

Sam’s eyes go wide as he smirks. “Sure.”

He uncurls his hand as you slide down his body getting up close and personal with his cock and there it is in all its glory. The thick ring of muscle, a shade darker than the rest of him, the same color as the head of his dick when he’s painfully hard. It’s big, close to the size of your fist. It’s incredible that you can take that in your pussy and that he’s done it to you more than once.

“What do you think?” There’s a sly edge to his voice.

So engrossed in your exploration of his body, you almost forgot he was watching you.

“I think you’re big all over.” Slinking back up his body you nuzzle into his side. “It’s hard to believe that what feels so good. You’re huge.”

“You’re perfect.” He turns on his side to face you, running a palm down your arm and glancing over you to the clock. “It’s almost two. We should shower and sleep.”

“So responsible.” You tease. He rolls off the bed and you prop yourself up on elbows to watch him. “My rule follower.”

“Watch it.” He lunges forward, grabbing your ankles and dragging you down the bed until he can pick you up. You squeal as he throws you over his shoulder, slapping your butt and carrying you toward the bathroom.

The Next Morning

Sam is painfully out of place sitting next to you in the lobby of the clinic, dressed in his thousand dollar suit and designer overcoat. He’s fixated on his phone reading an email but he must be able to feel your nerves because he nonchalantly reaches over to take your hand.

The nurse calls your name and you follow her through the labyrinth of muted Pepto-pink walls to a small exam room.

You don’t wait long. Dr. Carter walks in, stopping momentarily at the sight of your smartly dressed Alpha. She apparently expected someone else.

“Hello,” she recovers extending her hand, introducing herself.

Sam sits on the edge of a rickety chair, placing a hand on your bouncing knee.

“Well, I’m happy you were able to come in so quickly, Mr…”

“Winchester.” Sam offers and her eyes widen. “Call me Sam.”

“Well,” she clears her throat. “Y/N came in yesterday asking for birth control and according to federal regulations she needs your permission before I can provide any sort of family planning methods.”

“Okay,” Sam shakes his head, squeezing your knee. “Give her whatever she wants.”

“I will, gladly. But I have to go over her medical history with you-”

“Really? Can’t I just sign something and she can do what she wants?”

“I’m afraid it’s more involved than that. I need in-person verbal and written confirmation the first time. You’ll sign a couple releases. From then on we can call if we need approval.”

“Okay,” Sam shrugs, “let’s do it.”

“Because of her request and her newly claimed status, we ran some blood tests-”

“Hey, you never asked me about any tests.” You protest, appalled at the notion that she’s done anything without your consent.

“I don’t have to ask and I’m not supposed to. When we’re evaluating a newly claimed Omega certain screenings are standard and required.”

“I can’t believe this.” Fighting the urge to throttle the doctor you wring your hands in your lap. Sam reaches over, placing a large palm over your knuckles, squeezing lightly.

“It’s alright.” He scrunches his mouth at you as if to imply that this is all no big deal and you want to harangue him too.

“She’s free of any of the standard sexually transmitted diseases. She was concerned about pregnancy but as I advised her I don’t think it’s anything you need to be concerned about. We can do a pregnancy test when she’s closer to her heat, but I highly doubt you need to worry.”

“Okay.” Sam just looks at her deadpan. “You’ll put her on birth control?”  

“Yes, we can do it today. Omegas normally respond better to the monthly shot. We’ve found that pills aren’t as effective in preventing pregnancy with an Alpha/Omega pairing.”

“Is that what you want?” Sam turns toward you, calmly awaiting your confirmation.

While you can’t see yourself you’re sure that your cheeks are beet red.

“Yes.” You answer softly.

“Alright, we’ll administer the first dose before you leave today. Only a few more items to review. She’s only had unprotected sex with one other partner but it’s up to you if you’d like a more thorough screening. I don’t think it’s necessary, we’ve already done the baseline STD tests.”

Sam’s hand is still over yours and at the mention at the previous partner his finger twitch.

You’re not sure if you want to throw a punch or crawl under the examination table.

“I don’t think that will be necessary.” Sam avoids your stare, looking directly at the physician. “What do I need to sign?”

–

He can tell you’re agitated as you both spill out onto the busy sidewalk. You turn to face him, grimacing as you fight with the zipper on your coat. It’s only late November but the frigid chill of winter came early this year.

“I’ve never been embarrassed like that before.” Sputtering you wrap both arms around yourself. “ I’m claimed so apparently I’m just your property now.”

“Hey,” Sam reaches for your scarf, wrapping it around your neck, before giving a gentle tug. “It’s just an old law. Archaic, patriarchal bullshit. After the elections next year they say things will change.”

“They’ve been saying that for a long time. I mean, I knew that there were regulations but that was humiliating. She was talking to you like I wasn’t even in the room. Like I was a damn dog at the vet.”

“For the record, it’s not exactly pleasant for me either, when she’s telling me personal things you’re uncomfortable with me knowing. You don’t know me yet, but I’ll never make you do anything you don’t want to or try to control you. That’s not who I am. So if there’s anything you want, just ask for it.”

Sam’s finds himself in a real duality of man situation. He already respects you and he’s certainly not an old conservative like his father. These laws harken back to a time when Omega women were little more than breeding mares. The failure to overturn these outdated laws is nothing but prejudice and discrimination hidden under the guise of ‘traditional values’.

But, if he’s a hundred percent honest with himself, there is a latent satisfaction in the fact that you belong to him in such an all-encompassing way. As the thought crosses his brain he chastises himself for entertaining the notion, forcing it out of his brain.

“I want to make my own choices when it comes to my body.” Shivering you allow him to pull you under his arm, rubbing your shoulders with a gloved hand.

“And you will, at least when it comes to me.” He leans over and kisses your temple, squeezing you tight. It’s a simple gesture, but the ease with which he expresses affection makes your belly swoop. “Come on, let’s get out of the cold. I’ll take you to breakfast before I go into work.”

[monsterkinkmeme]

FAQ & Rules

Hello! Welcome to Monster Kink Meme!

This blog is a source for writing and art prompts for monsters & kinks. Pretty straightforward. Here’s a basic FAQ, mixed with our rules.

What is the point of this blog?

This blog is to generate writing and art prompts, similar to @write-it-motherfuckers and @writing-prompt-s, specifically for exophilia writers and artists.

Can we submit prompts?

Yes! Please do, either through the submission button or through asks. Asks are best for short prompts, or things that you want to keep anonymous. Submissions are best for longer prompts, and cannot be anonymous. We love getting prompts from folks. If you have a request for a story, please phrase it as a prompt. We aren’t a request blog, but a prompt blog. 

Who can participate?

Anyone over the age of 18.

How can we participate?

Other than submitting prompts, if you see a prompt that inspires you, write or draw something and reblog it with the original prompt. Also, tag liberally.

Art submitted cannot be anonymous and must be from either the artist who created it or posted with permission from the artist who created it. Do not repost someone else’s art without their permission. This includes using it in moodboards (those collages at the top of stories.) 

I see you suggest genders/monsters. Do I need to use those?

Mod prompts will sometimes have suggested genders & monsters. Those are totally optional and can be ignored if something else inspires you.

Submitted prompts that include requested monsters or genders should be considered mandatory, since people submitting those are setting up specific situations they’d hope to see.

Do I need to use a specific tense or point of view? [x]

No! The exophilia community does a lot of writing from second person present tense as a stylistic thing, but that doesn’t mean you should limit yourself to that. Write what feels comfortable to you. If that’s third person, write that! If it’s past tense, then that’s fine, too!

Can I write about sexy stuff? Kinky stuff? Polyamory?

Yes! We leave our prompts open, but if something you write takes a sexy turn, or features extra kinks, or multiple partners, that’s totally fine by us. (As long as it abides by the rules below re: what we don’t allow.) We love that stuff, it’s just that a lot of what we’ve gotten so far has been sweet rather than spicy.

Just make sure you TAG APPROPRIATELY. Use the citrus scale, tag for content (anything that people may want to know about before choosing to read your story), and follow the content rules. (We want consent, no incest, no underage sex, and no bestiality. Beyond that, it’s fair game.)

Where do I find monster inspiration?

We’ve got a post here. The short version? Everywhere! Pop culture. Cryptids. Mythology. Dungeons & Dragons. Video Games. Movies. Your Imagination.

I need writing help. Do you have advice?

We have a post here. It’s got advice from a bunch of us about how to start, how to continue. How to do the thing. The biggest thing is just to go for it. You’ll never get better without doing.

If a prompt has already been “filled,” can someone else write about the same prompt with a different story?

Yep! We’d love to see as many iterations as you guys can think of! (Someone asked Aelia about it, there’s a post.)

Are there any format expectations/requirements for stories?

Generally we like to see something that lists Characters, Content, and Rating, and a Read More link when appropriate. 

Characters tells people who/what is in your story. Reader & monster genders would be listed here. 

Content would be where you put any tags (see the next question) and warn people about anything that may squick or trigger, as well as any acts or situations that they may be interested in, or which they may wish to avoid. This allows people to make good choices for themselves. 

Rating is based on our Citrus Scale. 

If your story is more than about 6 paragraphs, or it’s explicit or potentially triggering, we love to see you use a Read More/Keep Reading tag  after the first paragraph or two so when we reblog it people don’t have to scroll forever.

How should I tag?

There’s two spots we love to see tags!

1: Ahead of your story. If you put tags before your story, your readers can make informed choices about what you’ve written, and whether it’s a good/safe choice for them. This is where we want to see tags about any kinks, sex acts, or content warnings for readers.

2: In the tumblr tags. This is where you put things to make your story searchable, so DO NOT put NSFW or “sexual” tags here, as it will make the post inaccessible by searching. This is where all the tags about citrus scale, monster types, reader & monster genders, pairings, and fandoms that apply should go. Here’s a post about unsearchable tags. Using these tags will make your post “disappear” and we’d hate to see that happen.

We have a handy guide to how we want to see the citrus scale used for stories that people hope to see on our blog.

Overall, USE CONTENT WARNINGS. We cannot stress this enough. We want readers to be able to make informed choices about what they read to avoid “squicks” and triggers.

Should we use the “teratophilia” tag?

We would prefer you didn’t for two reasons: A: teratophilia is no longer a searchable tag, and B: given the original definition of the word (sexual attraction to deformed, disfigured, or monstrous people and a form of paraphilia, I.E. attraction to the disabled), the moderators of this blog feel it is both inaccurate and insensitive.

Most (not all, but most) monster-lover writers now use the much more accurate term exophilia (the love of extraterrestrial, robotic, supernatural, or otherwise non-human life-forms) to describe our work. Robophilia (sexual attraction to robots) and xenophilia (sexual attraction to aliens) is still permissible.

Topics we don’t allow/won’t post/reblog:

Real people (like actors, musicians, and other celebrities)

Incest (including step/adopted family members)

Non-con/dub-con (including rape-play)

Whump (”Hurt/Comfort” fics that focus more on the hurt and less on the comfort. Not to be confused with standard Hurt/Comfort or BDSM)

Bestiality (creatures that don’t possess the mental capacity to consent)

Under-aged/pedophilia (with the minimum age being 18)

Everything else it totally fine.

If you plan on writing anything along these lines using our prompts, please make it a separate post, and do not tag us in it. This is because we want our notes to be relatively safe for people to look through, but also because we don’t want to be associated with things that violate our policies.

We would also like to point out once more that this is a prompt/prompt fill blog, not a request or roleplay blog. If your story/submission does not meet our rules and is NOT a prompt/prompt fill, we will not be posting it on our blog.

Do not plagiarize books/movies/video games for your prompts. 

We’ve seen this cropping up a lot recently. We will not post them if we spot them, and if we miss it and someone points it out, it’ll be deleted. [x]

General Expectation for Respect/Sensitivity

We didn’t want to phrase this one as a question necessarily but we wanted to make it clear that on the whole, not only do all of the mods of this blog embrace the idea of an open community, but we endorse appreciation over appropriation, as well as sensitivity and respect when working with creatures from races and cultures that are not your own, or sexualities, or genders which you do not identify with. We love representation, we just want to see it done well.

Mod Traveler has a post on her blog that sums it up well and includes links to educational resources for people looking for more info, but you should be able to reach out to any of us for more information about what we mean.

What are “theme days”?

We (sometimes) have two theme days a week where we request prompts that fit a specific theme. Prompts that come in on those days which fit those themes get posted immediately instead of getting queued.

Trope Tuesday is all about our favorite tropes with monsters mixed in. First Date Friday is about the trials and tribulations of first dates. We currently do them weekly, but that’s subject to change.

What are tropes?

We’ve had a few questions come in about this! We’ve answered it here, and here. But the short version is; storytelling shorthand. Common “cliche” situations that readers recognize, and may have set expectations for. (”Oh no someone is getting married and I need a date!” etc.) 

I saw you reblog something from [other prompt page]. Why?

So, we reblog from other prompt pages because we are trying to keep enough prompts in the queue to have stuff posting with consistency. We’ve been trying to share relevant prompt posts from other places (with permission from the other blogs, in every case) to ensure there’s enough content.

I wrote a story but you didn’t reblog it!

If it didn’t violate any of our rules, we just might have missed it in the notes, or it wasn’t about monsters. Please feel free to tag us, or message a member of the mod team directly. :)

Will you post a story I submit to you?

Only if it’s a direct response to one of our prompts, and/or it involves monsters. We’re a monster prompt blog. :) 

Do you have a masterlist?

We do! We have one for Fills and one for Prompts.

I don’t like something I saw posted, what do I do?

We can’t control what people post in response to prompts posted here, but we won’t ever reblog something that doesn’t fit the spirit of our blog, and we’ll never post prompts that go against our rules.

With the exception of our explicitly not allowed list, we abide by the “your kink doesn’t have to be my kink, and that’s okay” rule. The tl;dr version of this is “if it doesn’t violate the rules, but you don’t like it, just keep scrolling.”

If you feel it does violate our rules but it slipped through the cracks somehow, please send one of the mods a message, and we will help you out with it.

That’s it! We’ll update as needed! Have fun and get creating!

- Team Kink (AKA: @aelia-likes-monsters, @elizabethtarington, @hufflesmonsters, @monstersandmaw, @cozycryptidcorner, @demonsigh, & @thetravelerwrites)

[meshkol]

I'm personally not a big fan of DrPepperony, mostly because I don't know how to write Pepper and I generally don't write porn with female characters, so I do hope that the lack of said porn isn't too much of a disappointment. Still, I kinda like this regardless, and I had fun with it, even if it doesn't fill the prompt to a T. Also, it's unbeta'd af, and has the added bonus of filling A-5 for my Tony Stark Bingo 2019 card: Cinderella Story (in a highly unconventional manner lmao). Enjoy, and feel free to prompt me more for my Bingo Card!

Also read on ao3.

-----

Pepper comes in at half-past four and blinks.

After so many years of being Tony’s PA, then boss, then girlfriend, then fiancée, she likes to think that she’s seen it all. Tony’s never been a shy man, nor has he ever been particularly shameful – Tony Stark is a conundrum and a complete wild card, even in his predictability, so he’s gotten himself into some crazy situations that Pepper’s walked in on, berated him for, or teased him mercilessly about. Let it be known that Pepper’s not shy either, and that’s why she’s a damned good CEO of the biggest conglomerate on the planet.

Honestly, Tony dabbling with employees isn’t exactly out-of-the-norm (obviously, considering Pepper herself, and the gossip mags are still having a field day with that one), and, of course, Tony’s always been a fan of roleplay too, so it’s not like she’s really surprised by what she’s seeing.

Except she is.

Pepper’s always liked Stephen Strange, which isn’t really a surprise to anyone who knows her. He’s her type – sharp, smart, a bit of a dork, kind, unbelievably soft behind closed doors, a thousand other things that makes her heart flutter and her cheeks flush – and he’s good for Tony too. It’s nice having him around, because Pepper can talk to an adult for once and Tony can get his geek on with a fellow swot, not to mention that they take care of each other out in the field too. She doesn’t even want to count how many times the two of them have jumped into the middle of a fight to keep each other safe, and Pepper’s always going to be thankful for that. She already has enough worry and stress in her life knowing that both of them are fighting and saving the world, but the comfort of knowing they have each other to lean on is relieving.

Stephen is straight-laced and arrogant, a remnant of his neurosurgery days, and a wry, bizarre little shit from his current profession as the Sorcerer Supreme. It’s a juxtaposition that shouldn’t make sense, but somehow it works on him, especially considering the gibberish he talks that makes him sound like an alien sometimes. He’s very proper and maintained, meticulous and stern, sardonic and baffling, and Pepper’s never really seen a deviation of that over the year of Stephen being intimate with Tony.

Seeing him like this? Well. She thought she’d seen everything, but apparently not.

“Tony...” she says slowly, watching Stephen as he cleans off a bartop with careful precision. From the corner of her eyes, she can see Tony practically skipping towards her with a huge grin on his face, showing every tooth in his mouth, but she can’t quite take her eyes off Stephen quietly doing what the cleaning crew is employed for, and who could even blame her anyway?

Stephen Strange, Sorcerer Supreme and widely considered to be the best neurosurgeon that’s ever practised, is dressed in a skimpy, oddly flattering maid’s costume. It’s short and revealing, with a dipping neckline that shows off the tops of his pink nipples, and the sleeves and skirt are poofing out, ruffles swaying with every movement he makes. It’s short enough that Pepper can see lacey white knickers on his arse, the boyfriend-cut not enough to hide the swell of his arse as it peeks through the bottom, just barely cutting into the crease, and the white lace matches the shockingly white sheer stockings that stretch up his lean, muscular legs, gartered up mid-thigh. He has a pair of simple, heeled Mary Janes on, more innocent than six-inch stilettos would be, but it still emphasises the bulge of his calves underneath sheer fabric. A matching lace choker around his neck, a small bow in his hair, and long white gloves complete the ensemble.

Pepper immediately wonders what the bet is, and who’s winning.

“Welcome home, babe!” Tony greets happily, pecking her on the cheek chastely before wrapping an arm around Pepper’s shoulders, focussing his attention on Stephen as well as he thunks his head gently against hers. “I see you’ve become aware of our pretty Cinderella.”

“Tony...” she says again, and this time there’s a hint of you-better-explain-yourself-now in her tone.

Tony sniggers for a second, then brandishes a remote in his free hand as he explains with deliberate nonchalance, “Well, you see, we were arguing about how Stephen is a terrible snob – which is rich, coming from me – and he said that he is perfectly capable of taking care of himself without needing help, which I thought was hilarious. I mean, you know as well as I do that he’s adorably messy, always leaving his clothes on the floor when he’s getting naked or not wanting to shower after I’ve come all over him, so we made a deal.”

Pepper fights the urge to roll her eyes at their predictable brand of crazy and says, “Let me guess, he has to do...that until midnight?”

Tony thunks her head again with his and answers cheerfully, “Sure does! Wanna see him dance?”

“I—” she starts, but she doesn’t manage to finish, because Tony’s pressing a button on the remote and suddenly Stephen’s knees buckle, hands flailing for purchase before he slams his gloved forearms against the bartop, the cleaning cloth squeezed between his fingers. His entire body shivers, hips twitching into the perfect position for the overhead lights to shine directly on Stephen’s dolled-up body, and suddenly Pepper can see the sheen of viscous liquid on the bare strip of Stephen’s inner thighs and hear the faint buzz of a toy.

“Tony!” she exclaims, mouth dropping open, and she’s not sure whether she’s fascinated by the sight of Stephen’s countenance or if she’s just completely flummoxed that Stephen’s allowing this.

Pepper’s sex-positive and fairly blasé about sex in general, so she knows what her fiancé and boyfriend get up to. She knows that Stephen’s an adventurous man in the bedroom – she’s seen it first-hand, more times than she can count, since they’re always fooling around with each other and always trying to one-up the other to boot – but she also knows that Stephen generally makes Tony dress in pretty things (or Pepper herself, but that’s for the aesthetic). Seeing it the other way around is already jarring, and knowing that Stephen’s apparently getting off on doing household chores (my dreaded enemy, he likes to say sometimes in that dramatic way he has) in a skimpy maid’s costume while something buzzes inside him?

Well.

Well.

“It’s great, right?” Tony quips with a squeeze, pulling her close. “I mean, don’t worry babe, I’ve been periodically taking it out for more lube – I need to build one that has a secreting function, but it’d need a reservoir, so it’ll be tricky – so I’m being super careful. In fact...” He pecks her on the cheek again and then walks towards Stephen, practically strutting and eyes bright with arousal. Now that he’s in her line of vision, she can see that he looks well-rested and comfortable, in a threadbare shirt with the sleeves shucked up to his elbows and a pair of Stephen’s flannel pyjama bottoms which do nothing to hide the swell of his prick.

As he turns off the vibrating plug and then slowly pulls down Stephen’s lace knickers to expose the swell of his arse, running a hand along Stephen’s skin languidly, she can’t help but think that this is her favourite type of Tony: easy in his own skin, predatory, soft and calm in the comfort of his own home and around the people he loves. She loves when he gets like this, because it’s proof that Tony can take a deep breath and really allow himself to be for once, rather than hiding behind a well-worn mask or keeping his armour (both metaphorically and literally) up. It’s extremely validating that he’s able to be his true self in front of her, allowing himself to be seen like this.

She watches as Tony digs a bottle of lube out of his pocket, pulls out the sizeable toy (bright red and garish, which isn’t surprising), and lubes it up again before slowly teasing it back inside of Stephen’s hole. He’s kissing the side of Stephen’s neck, long drags of his lips and rough murmurs that Pepper can’t quite understand, so she steps closer so she can decipher the words. It’s quiet praise mixed in with vile words – you’re so beautiful Stephen, and your hole just sucks it in all pretty and desperately, fuck you’re gorgeous aren’t you – and it’s classic Tony, just the right mixture of dirty talk and honest appreciation. Stephen seems to eat it up, his face and chest flushed as he bends placidly against the bar, and Pepper can’t help but stroke a hand along the other side of Stephen’s lightly damp neck, pressing a kiss of her own against his thick hair.

“Welcome home, Pepper,” Stephen croaks thickly, turning his head so he can look at her with glazed eyes. “How many businessmen did you eviscerate today?”

She smiles. “Four, actually. I have their balls in a jar on my desk at the office.” She presses another kiss against his flushed, sweaty forehead and asks them both, “So is anyone going to tell me what this bet is?”

She hears the buzz of the vibrating plug start up, making Stephen jolt around a low groan, and Tony pipes up, “If he continues to be our pretty Cinderella until midnight without getting off or avoiding his duties as our maid, I have to physically attend that conference in Geneva for nerve regenerating stem cell research with him instead of just throwing money at it. If I win, he has to come to Vegas with me for twenty-four hours without complaining about it. Obviously you’re enthusiastically invited to all of the above, though I doubt you’ll partake in any Vegas festivities.”

“I might have to, if Stephen’s not allowed to complain about it,” she remarks off-handedly with a shrug, presses a last kiss to Stephen’s cheek, and then ruffles Tony’s hair. “Our PR team might have a coronary if you’re forcing him to enable you in Sin City. I’m going to go shower now.”

“Okay babe. Do you want him to wash you up?” Tony offers.

She watches as Stephen’s eyes go dark at the possibility, and despite the fact that it’s always nice to shower with her men and be pampered, she also knows that Stephen has a bet to win and she’s going to do everything in her power to help him do it. If only for her own sanity.

“It’s fine,” she replies easily, smiling at Stephen. “Wouldn’t want to make you get out of your pretty dress, Stephen.”

Tony giggles as Stephen scowls, though the effect is weakened by the sharp arousal in his sharp face. “This costume is humiliating and incredibly uncomfortable.”

“I think you look nice, if a little cliché,” Pepper notes, pulling away and shrugging out of her suit jacket. “Be thankful he didn’t put you in a corset and six-inch stilettos instead. He’s always had a thing for that.”

“Ooh, that’s a thought!” Tony exclaims with a cheeky wink. He pushes a button absently on the remote, making the buzzing get unbearably loud, and Stephen cries out, entire body shuddering before his hips start thrusting forward into air for friction, eyes clenches shut as he feels.

Pepper rolls her eyes and says seriously, albeit with a twinge of amusement, “Stephen, I need you to be strong for me. Think of Geneva and making Tony suffer through a benefit dinner, and you’ll make it to midnight. Be a pretty, strong Cinderella, and I’ll help you make him suffer.”

Through the constant groans and full-body shivers, Stephen still manages to crack a smile even as Tony huffs with mock offense. “Hey, that’s rude. You’re not supposed to take his side on this.”

Pepper sniffs without any heat and then makes her way to their master bath, calling out merrily behind her shoulder, “You honestly don’t expect me to pick a side when the stakes are Vegas and a medical conference in Geneva? Think of the shoes, Tony.”

She leaves the room with a smile, listening to Tony laugh vibrantly and Stephen moan even as he’s ordered to keep cleaning up.

They’re both totally insane, in Pepper’s opinion, but she loves them nonetheless.

[sanoiro]

There is something about Trixie Season Three

I always knew I would be back for this third instalment I just never realised what would have happened between 3x23 and finally reaching a deal with Netflix for Season 4. I literally lost over a month from my life and before you say anything, yes it was worth it. 

There is something about Trixie Season 1

There is something about Trixie Season 2

3x01 - They're Back, Aren't They?

Trixie is not mentioned. 

3x02 - The One with the Baby Carrot

Trixie is not mentioned. 

3x03 - Mr. & Mrs. Mazikeen Smith

The first time we see Trixie in Season 3 is ironically in an episode that was shot in Season Two and is part of the four standalones that irked the fans for not moving the storyline. 

Trixie shows some great initiative by trying to smuggle herself to Canada and despite being overly worried for Maze, Miss Alien did manage to cross the boards and take part in the episode’s adventure... What also we need to remember is that Trixie was extremely happy that Miss alien was delivered back smeared with blood... 

3x04 - What Would Lucifer Do?

Trixie is not mentioned.

3x05 - Welcome Back, Charlotte Richards

In episode 3x05 we do realise that S3 will not be just about identity but also about accountability. In this episode, we also have the first real Season Three appearance of Trixie and apparently, the child’s proximity with Maze has brought some issues that are dealt with a Swear Jar... 

In this episode, we cannot say we see anything out of the ordinary although the word Mother-flunker will always stay with us but we do realise that like Trixie, Lucifer has to learn that words to hurt people... pity he wasn’t there for that pep talk otherwise it might have saved us a whole season. 

Now let’s move to the last scene with Trixie in the episode which holds some merit.

Chloe: Monkey, I want to talk to you about what happened today at school. Did you tell Miss Morgan to "go to shell"?

Trixie: I didn't technically break any rules. 

Chloe: You know what? Lucifer was right. The swear jar, it's it's a dumb idea. Mommy gave you a bunch of rules without explaining things. The real reason that we shouldn't swear is that bad words make people feel bad. And I know you don't want to make people feel bad, right? 'Cause the truth is if you go looking for loopholes, you'll always find them. And I can't force you to do the right thing. You'll just have to learn that on your own. So no more swear jar. Does the above sound familiar to you? 

Call me an overthinker as I know I am but take this as if spoken from Dad aka God. Lucifer was set to have certain rules but broke them and when they were reinforced he always sought for loopholes lie he did when he made a deal with Dad in 1x13 and Chloe was spared. 

God couldn’t make him learn, good from wrong as Lucifer always found loopholes but instead He also took away the Swear Jar or in Lucifer’s case, Hell. God never got down to Earth to drag His son back to Hell but he enforced a plan that made Lucifer on some degree learn on his own but without God being an active participant to that. Lucifer has the choice on what to learn, accept and eventually act. 

3x06 - Vegas with Some Radish

Trixie is not mentioned.

Many have noted where Trixie was in this episode and the truth is that Trixie could have returned to babysit or Chloe could have called a babysitter when she decided to stay with Linda at the penthouse. Contrary to popular belief parents sometimes do need a break from their children. 

3x07 - Off the Record

Here we have the HILARIOUS: ‘Child in danger?’

Then down the storyline, Daughter in Danger and Stolen From School...

3x08 - Chloe Does Lucifer

That episode always cracks me up especially Trixie’s actions. Painting a unicorn on Lucifer’s cheek and of course being the adult in how Chloe should open a conversation of flirting with a man. For some reason, her maturity here is a bit too much but at the same time endearing. What she also realises is that the show at the end of the episode is missing. 

The thimble as I mentioned earlier was a direct metaphor to Peter Pan’s thimble. The boy who refused to grow until he was forced to do just that. In 3x08 we do realise that although Lucifer refuses to grow up once again he knows that even by getting a Monopoly piece certain things will never be different because people might not change but heck they can pretend they have pretty well. Enter Trixie. In a way we see Lucifer and Trixie growing up and getting hurt together almost by the same people in Season Three. Namely Maze... 

3x09 - The Sinnerman

Trixie is not mentioned.

3x10 - The Sin Bin

Many can say Lucifer is a proud Step-Satan but in this episode, more things come to play. Trixie not only meets Charlotte but she also sets a date between her and her Daddy aka Dan. 

She is a perceptive child and for some reason a bit like Ella, although in a different way, she is attracted to the unusual and in her case to whatever has ascent from Hell... 

Now like in 3x08 she offers sound advice on how adults should act but she is also offering a very good line to Charlotte: You’re the Mum, you make the rules!

Following 3x05, rules are made by the parents they cannot always be explained but that does not mean it’s out of spite. Sometimes it’s out of desperation or love so that concept alone wants me to keep a closer eye on our dear Beatrice...

3x11 - City of Angels?

Trixie is mentioned 1 time. 

3x12 - All About Her

In this episode, we get to see that not only Trixie is obsessed with Miss Alien but also that she makes some good money from her art which reminds us that what she had drawn in Season 2. Uriel, the Devil and the Blade. In Season 3 in 3x12 we can see the first hint of that Amenadiel will get his wings back. 

For some reason, Trixie seems to know what is going to happen. Of course, we may say it’s but an easter egg from the production but speculating over a Miracle’s child is more fun don’t you think?

3x13 - Til Death Do Us Part

Trixie is mentioned two times. 

3x14 - My Brother's Keeper

In this episode, we see how close Trixie and Maze have become to the point that Maze words in 3x18 cause a lot of damage. What interests me most though is not how close they are but what Trixie has been taught from Maze.

That kid now knows the basics of how to survive and of course battle tactics. Sometimes I do wonder if whatever passed down to Trixie from Lucifer and Maze will come to play in any f the future seasons. 

3x15 - High School Poppycock

In 3x15 Trixie was used as a humorous addition to the story where Chloe stays up all night but we also witness the maturity of the child as well. She dresses herself and she got up and ready without waiting for her mother to do anything for her. 

You may say that for her age that’s a given but like in 2x15 we see that Trixie has a very adult-like logic and in most cases, reaction to a lot of things. Unfortunately, like her mother, she also bottles up a lot of her feelings and refuses to let anyone realise how certain circumstances affect her until it’s too late. Do keep that in mind for both Trixie and Chloe in Season 4. 

3x16 - Infernal Guinea Pig

Trixie is mentioned 1 time.

3x17 - Let Pinhead Sing!

Trixie is not mentioned.

3x18 - The Last Heartbreak

In 3x18 the episode does affect Trixie but the most notable thing we see is how a little human girl can affect a Demon. Maze was always unyielding to emotion until Trixie came to her life. Like Chloe and Lucifer’s insistence to not be a shoe the same happened with Maze and Trixie. 

Ten episodes later since 3x08 the same story plays again but this time in the subplot of the series. A character rejects its true nature for what they believe they are. Lucifer uses sex and enforces himself to act indifferent to Chloe and any remaining feelis from 3x06 while in 3x18 we see Maze trying to do the same. She acts out and her lashing out to Dan eventually reaches Trixie but more directly than Lucifer’s actions do reach Chloe. 

3x19 - Orange Is the New Maze

Trixie is mentioned 3 times.

3x20 - The Angel of San Bernardino

In 3x20, we see Trixie has mostly recovered from Maze’s harsh words and house abandonment. And yet in the following gif we do see that the child understand more than she is willing to admit which makes things a bit weird for my liking. 

Trixie appears to have known to a degree that Lucifer and her mother were close after her parents were separated and yet by the end of the episode she does not appear to hold any grudge against our Devil. 

And here is the thing Trixie is open to both her parents dating and being happy with other people and no matter what happens she always seems extremely loyal to Lucifer. Even in 3x08 she could see that Chloe and Lucifer  were good for each other and yet the fact hat she was there to care for her mother in that state troubled me, like a lot. 

3x21 - Anything Pierce Can Do I Can Do Better

Moving on to 3x21... Bottling up your feelings never ends well but in Trixie’s case, she just refuses to deal with the issue something that Chloe says it will take time. That alone gives us an opening on what might happen with the two characters in S4 but also poses a question that has not been explained so far. Why while Trixie was still mad with Maze, she accepted Marcus so easily after 3x20?

3x22 - All Hands on Decker

When 3x22 was aired and that scene came into play I was convinced that Trixie had been taken from the sleepover and had not willingly left. That might be true if we consider that A) There was a deleted scene where Marcus and Maze had a fight in LUX’s bathroom and that Marcus knew he would need a shield afterwards. Do not forget that Marcus had a silver tongue and could persuade people quite easily in order to get what he wanted. So I do believe that Trixie was forced to return home in 3x22. 

3x22 was also the last time we saw the child as the last two episodes were too packed as season and midseason finale’s often are. 

3x23 - Quintessential Deckerstar

Trixie is not mentioned.

3x24 - A Devil of My Word

Trixie is not mentioned.

3x25 - Boo Normal

Trixie is mentioned 1 time.

3x26 - Once Upon a Time

Trixie is not mentioned (aside from the lack of family in Dan’ s life) and does not exist.

Finally, I would like to add a thought concerning Trixie’s absence in 3x26 - Once Upon a Time. 

Chloe was born as a miracle but God’s decision to make her cross paths with Lucifer was made when John Decker was murdered when she was 18 years old. 

That means that Chloe’s Miracle status is not de facto the reason why Lucifer and Chloe were met. 

Following that logic, Chloe’s future and Trixie’s existence is part of God’s plan which we can speculate that is based on Chloe meeting Lucifer. That means in an extent that Trixie has a role in Lucifer’s involvement with Chloe which we should witness at some point in the next season/s. 

Why is that?

Because Trixie’s existence didn’t fit the original plan that had Chloe never meeting Lucifer meaning where God had no involvement, therefore, we can assume that Trixie is a product of God’s grand plan for Lucifer and Chloe on some degree. 

If all the above is true then why did God blessed Penny and John? 

Well, there are many different scenarios but I like to think that Penny’s infertility or difficulty to conceive had to do with a certain kind of ancestry* that made John and Penny incompatible and thus they needed a stronger angel, the Firstborn, to bless them. That’s, of course, a non-spoiler based speculation. We shall see I guess...

*That does not make Lucifer and Chloe related in any way. Lucifer in 3x01 has revealed that there are other celestial beings as well as supernatural beings that roam the Earth/Universe. 

This is the end of There is something about Trixie Season Three.

[gracesgirl]

The first season of “Black Lightning” on the CW tackled topical storytelling around gang and gun violence, and drugs in inner cities. With that foundation under its feet, the second season will dive even deeper into tales of police brutality and family separation.

“We’re at a critical point where artists, if they so choose — if it’s on their heart or their mind — have to express what they’re thinking,” says show runner Salim Akil. “It’s on my mind and it’s on my heart, and it seems like it’s not stopping.”

Picking up in the immediate aftermath of the events of the first season finale, “Black Lightning’s” sophomore year finds police in Freeland responding to calls that young African-American men are under the influence of green light — a drug that creates powers ranging from super strength to projecting a truth serum making those in your range unable to lie — and using that as “an excuse to shoot first and ask questions later.”

“If you remember back in the ’80s, Hillary Clinton called us ‘super predators,’ and it gave the police a reason to come in communities all over the country and just start putting bullets in people’s asses. That’s what I wanted to deal with in terms of Freeland,” Akil says.

Akil shares that he has also been deeply affected by the family separations at the border, which have influenced the way in which he tells the story of the discovery that missing children from decades ago were actually held in stasis pods and experimented on by a government agency because of the powers they were starting to exhibit.

Although the truth about where those missing kids have been came out at the end of the first season, now their families will have to fight to be reunited with them, Akil says.

“The idea was basically what the American government is telling the so-called aliens or people crossing the border is that ‘at this point we own your children and we decide what we want to do with them.’ And then they say, ‘It’s the law, it’s the law,’ and I remind people, ‘Well it was the law not too long ago that I couldn’t drink from a fountain,'” he explains. “The laws aren’t infallible, so the idea that the government says that they own these people, to me, was directly related to that idea. … I can’t watch TV and not talk about that. I’m too sensitive of a person.”

But, he notes, these issues will “pop up in the lives of our characters the same way it pops up in our lives,” meaning he doesn’t plan to tell a highly-charged political story every week. Instead, he also wants to focus heavily on the family issues now that both of Pierce daughters have come into their powers.

“We’re doing books now — this is book one of four. This book is the ‘Book of Consequences,’ and what you’re seeing are the consequences from what this family went through last season,” he says. “I didn’t want to just stop and then start some whole new story. I wanted to see what the consequences were for the city of Freeland as well as the family.”

Since the show is jumping right back into the action, Akil admits they haven’t had an opportunity for Jefferson (Cress Williams) and Gambi (James Remar) to work out emotions after Gambi killed Martin Proctor (Gregg Henry). While the move allowed Lynn (Christine Adams) to expose the experiments on the pod kids, it still fractured a “father-son” relationship.

“The way we’re moving the storylines is there is no time [to work through it],” Akil says. “[They] either got to work together or not. … We’re moving. We’re playing rock-and-roll. Last year I think we played a little jazz.”

While Anissa (Nafessa Williams) took to her new abilities swiftly in the first season, Jennifer (China Anne McClain) struggled to gain control of them, and also struggled to accept them emotionally. Akil says that will continue in the second season.

“She’s afraid of what it means for her future,” he says, noting that in the first season she wondered if she could have kids, but this season she’ll wonder, “If I have sex, will I hurt somebody?”

And now that the secret is out that powers are possible, Jennifer will also be plagued by thoughts of “Am I hunted? Am I a monster? What am I?” Akil continues.

“It’s hard enough just being a young woman, then being a young black woman, and now having these powers that everybody’s afraid of.”

One way the show may approach Jennifer coping is through therapy, which Akil feels the African-American community doesn’t talk about enough.

“We don’t believe in that s—, but we’re the No. 1 people who need it. After slavery and Jim Crow, they should have sent an army of therapists into the black communities to heal people,” he says. “All of the s— you see in our communities is because we haven’t healed properly from the amount of abuse and oppression, and if you can say that being raised by a bad parent f—s your brain up and you pass it onto your children, than what do you think years and years and years and years of oppression has done to a whole group of people? And so I wanted to at least mention it — at least say, ‘Maybe we could get a little help.'”

And just because Anissa is comfortable with herself and her abilities, doesn’t mean she will have an easy time this season, either. Not only does she have to figure out the line of what being a hero actually means, according to Akil, but sometimes her idea of it won’t be in line with her father’s, which will create new conflict. “They’ve always had different points of view, but now it’s becoming more extreme because the situation is more extreme,” Akil says. “[But] I think the conversation is what’s important.”

“Black Lightning” Season 2 premieres Oct. 9 on the CW.

[emilywatchescursedshow]

Spn Season 1 Review

Hoboy

First, the live blogs of the last 4 episodes were done in a haze of jetlag depression so were less specific to what was actually happening in the episodes than normal and contained no extraneous information. HOWMEVER. I will get into those episodes more in this recap because:

1. I do not feel like the season really Led Up to this finale. Part of that could be because I took a bit of a break halfway through, but I think also the groundwork for the Sam/John parallel they tell us about was not really set up in previous episodes. 2. I think that the characterization of the brothers and their relationship to John is really Interesting in these episodes and the drama of that is a big part of the show as a whole, so the last several episodes are pretty relevant here.

THEMING The theme of season 1 is more or less: family. How do you handle family trauma and loss? How do you as a parent protect your children vs let them have independent lives (or just suck major ass)? To what extent is your family holding you back? Etc. The two sort of relationship dynamics this plays in is the Sam/Dean dynamic and the John/sons dynamic.

DEAN Dean’s characterization through this theme remains pretty consistent: he wants to be with his family. He showed up to get Sam at the beginning of the season, and he wants to keep them all alive at the end of the season instead of sacrificing John to kill the demon. The irony is that the season ends with them all “dying” (I know they’re not dead, but right now that’s what the show wants us to believe) and Dean’s insistence on family unity is what ends up getting them all killed.

Dean’s story line throughout has been one of responsibility assumed too early. After their mom died, his dad basically made him co-parent. Dean had to give up his ambitions to bend to his dad’s wishes while also trying to protect Sam from John and various monsters. It makes sense for him, given that backstory, that keeping the family together is his highest priority: he has been forced to give up all sense of self to keep his family safe, so if they die then he literally has nothing. I think it’s interesting that Dean is the only one of him or Sam who actually knew their mother, and yet Sam is the one who gets a mother-relevant character arc.

That might be because of the next aspect of Dean’s character we see: he likes to have sex with women. I tend to be pretty sensitive to misogyny/mistreatment of women on screen, so either I’ve lost my mind or I’m already watching this show through a very queer lens because Dean’s treatment of women throughout the season Did Not Bother Me. The only thing that really rang sour was at the beginning of Provenance when Dean is lying to women about his job to get into bed with them, but even then, like, eh? The whole scene (and all the other such scenes) are depicted with a lightheartedness that is hard to read malice into, and Jackles plays that part with such a wide-eyed “Wow! I get to have sex now!” that it’s hard not to feel anything but happy for the guy. I do suspect that Dean is supposed to be characterized as “treating women like whores/expendable” and so does not have an attachment to his mother in this season because he’s not allowed to have a complex relationship with a woman.

SAM Uh boy. So Sam’s arc begins with his girlfriend getting immolated - we learn later that Sam wanted to propose to her and so she was getting in the way of the demon’s plans for “kids like him.” Whatever that means - the show does not communicate its stakes to us AT ALL, more on that later. Sam gets some episodes of characterization throughout. The only two I can remember are the one with the abused psychic and the one where a woman decides she’s in love with him within seconds of meeting him. In neither episode to I really feel like I understand Sam as a character. We are told at various points that he really loved Jessica and her death has affected him greatly. At the beginning of the season, he dreams about it often, but these dreams end up being psychic in nature (I think?) and fall off by mid season. He doesn’t have a keepsake of hers to gaze at longingly or any other way of showing he’s having trouble letting go. Dean basically lets him off the leash to go kiss Sarah in Provenance, which he seems pretty happy to do and has no real guilt over after. Sam’s characterization is carried out very directly - we are told what he is feeling or had felt, instead of some combination of saying it via dialogue and reading it from his actions. I’ve mentioned that I don’t think Jarp is especially strong as an actor, but I have to chalk this up to both weaknesses in writing and acting because scenes that communicate Sam’s internal world are largely nonexistent IMO.

We are told that the connection between their mother’s death and Jess’s death has had a great impact on Sam. He believes that he is cursed so that the “people he loves” (read, women) will die. While in a broad sense this might be true as the demon does admit to have targeted Sam, the supposed “curse” is not really dealt with by Sam except as a barrier in his journey to move on from lost love. Jess’s death served as Sam’s call to adventure at the beginning of the season and should give some emotional connection to Sam’s continued commitment to hunting, but until the final episodes Sam’s involvement in the monster world is continually explained as “wants to find dad” and not “wants to break curse.” In these episodes, Sam’s Jess backstory comes back and we are told that his desire to kill the demon makes him “like John.” Which. Is. Stupid. Let me explain.

In terms of the theming, Sam’s wanting to kill the demon even though it might cost the lives of any number of the Winchesters makes sense because of his established relationship with his family. He wanted to have a normal life which alienated him from Dean and John. Sam has very negative memories of John, and has little brother blindness to the stuff Dean did for him growing up and is largely unhappy with Dean as well. Thus it is not surprising that to Sam, a Winchester dying is not as large a price to pay if it means that Sam gets to have a normal life.

HOWEVER. I am giving the show a LOT of credit here because they DO NOT make that connection, instead going for the stupid “Sam is like John” parallel which is treated almost like a surprise reveal. John’s reasons for killing the demon are NOT Sam’s reasons for killing the demon. John is motivated by revenge to an insane degree: it has consumed his life and the lives of both of his sons. Sam is not revenge motivated. He moves on from Jess’s death in literally THE EPISODE before the finale run starts. Sam is motivated by what he has always been motivated by: his desire for a normal life, including a wife who wont burst into flames. So on a thematic level, short-handing these character conflicts as “Sam is like John” (which is explicitly stated multiple times throughout these episodes) does not work because these characters are approaching family from a very different place even if they end up with the same goal.

I do want to mention that I think Sam’s backstory of wanting a normal life could have been set up better; the show does a good job with Dean’s “too much responsibility too young” child stand-in, but Sam does not get a “I just wanted to go to prom” child stand-in. Which I miss because that would be HILARIOUS. I think the issue the show has here with Sam is, in short, that Sam wanting to be normal is Very Boring, whereas the world of monsters and how Tortured and Jaded everyone is is much Sexier.

JOHN The text of the show is pretty unabashed about telling us things that John did that a reasonable audience member could interpret as being Very Bad. In the brief moments he has on the show, the dynamic between him and his sons is mixed. There are plenty of heartfelt family moments, and there are plenty of fights. I think the show is definitely weakest when it is following John by himself. I do not care about John except as he relates to Sam and Dean, and really if he is in any sort of danger I just want him to die based on how awful he is as a person, so the suspense does not swing the way the writers maybe wanted it to. 

I think the twist at the end, where Dean realizes the demon has possessed their dad because he’s acting nicer, just b a r e l y works based on what they’ve set up. Honestly, I think the real problem is that John Winchester’s actor does not, to me, read as having any onscreen charisma. In the altercations that he has with Sam, I don’t really feel a threat from him. There isn’t any explosive or destructive energy, just sort of “your mom is mad you ate the last of her ice cream” energy. I’ve literally BEEN a more intimidating fake drill sergeant than John Winchester and I’m 5 feet tall and 110 lbs. John has big sad wet dog energy. He can get mad, but not in a way that’s actually intimidating. Thus, him telling Dean that he’s proud is sort of like “yeah, I bet this milksop is proud or whatever” and not “wow I would have expected that character to be a lot more upset right now.” I get that family dynamics can be complicated and a parent can cause you Bone Pain with just a look that to anyone else would seem harmless, but this is a television show where things have to read on screen. One Look Bone Pain is a lot more nuanced to construct. I think John being Big Mean Drill Sergeant is what they’re trying for, but in my opinion he's mostly just annoying.

Anyway John sucks.

WHAT’S NOT THERE The above talks a lot about what *is* in the show vis. the family theme. But Emily, this is a monster show. What about the monsters? Well. What about them indeed.

This first season of Supernatural is very clearly referencing the tradition of The X-Files and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. A lot of former X-Files people are credited on the season and they mention BTVS by name in an episode that is clearly themed around season 6 Buffy villains. Howmever. Both TXF and BTVS have a very important thing that Supernatural does not. STAKES. And not just ones meant for vamps that then get ignored by SPNs stupid vamp lore voice over.

Both BTVS and TXF handle their monsters very differently. BTVS is a universe where the main character has been fully initiated into the world of monsters so that, throughout the course of the episode, it is reasonable for her to detail pretty specifically what the monster is and what it is capable of. On the other hand, the characters in TXF must always be kept on the edge of the monster world, getting faint glimpses here and there. Usually, Mulder has an expository scene giving information on “what is known” at the beginning of the episode and then further monstrosity is communicated to the audience via interstitial scenes that tell the audience what the monster is and where it’s going, introducing dramatic tension: AA NO SCULLY DON’T TOUCH THAT IT’S SUPER GROSS. Both avenues successfully communicate to the audience what the monsters are (approximately), what they can do, and what their motivations are. This means that in the climactic scene, the audience knows what the STAKES are. They know what might be lost of the main characters fail, they know what the characters need to overcome to succeed, and they know what the monster is trying to accomplish.

Now. Some of the MOTW episodes in Supernatural do communicate what the monster is and what it wants. Scarecrow and Bugs are two that come to mind that both do this. Tellingly, both of these episodes also seem very modeled on TXF (compare/contrast Bugs with the trash golem episode of TXF where Mulder hip thrusts after sticking a flamingo in the yard, essay for another time).

Home is the first Supernatural episode that I identified as being extremely plot-oriented after the pilot. It’s also the first episode after the pilot to give sole writing credit to Kripke. There are interstitial scenes wherein the audience sees spooky stuff happening. However, these scenes do not further the audience’s understanding of the monster - we already know the house is evil and trying to kill people, and that’s pretty much all those scenes show. Moreover, Sam and Dean do not learn more about the monster in the house during this episode; their arc is basically just “Wow, isn’t it strange that the house is spooky now? Our mom died here!” The resolution at the end is borderline incomprehensible and their mother just sort of. Appears. Out of nowhere and then vanishes again with very little emotional weight given to this occurrence later in the episode or in the next episode. My summary of Home was pretty much “I did not like this and don’t want to be mean.” I talked about how I like monsters in monster shows, whereas Supernatural is more of a soap opera.

And yeah, the finale of Supernatural (written by Kripke) basically follows that track as well. I don’t know what these demons are or what they want. I don’t know what they can do besides possess people. When Meg confronts people and talks all big it’s hard for me to take seriously because I don’t know what she wants or what she is capable of, except in that one scene where she wanted to fuck Sam which. gross!

This is what I mean by saying that Supernatural does not have stakes. When the choice between losing a family member verses not defeating the monster is posited, the only reason I as an audience member feel engaged is the family conflict that has been established. There is no tension about the monster because I just have to assume that it will do whatever the writers decide it should do. I’m not weighing the odds of the Winchesters winning, I’m just watching them point guns at each other and hoping for the best.

CONCLUSION Jensen Ackles does a good job of playing Dean and he should get an award especially for his performances in the last two episodes of the show. IMO, he basically carried the emotional weight of the conflict and really made us root for Sam to not shoot his dad which is HARD because of how badly John sucks. I’m going to keep watching this show because of Jensen Ackles playing Dean Winchester. Fight me about it.

I think season 1 of Supernatural felt like watching two different shows with the same main characters. On the one hand, you have the MOTW episodes which invariably begin with “Here’s why we’re not tracking down our dad, even though that’s our stated motivation” and then tell a nice monster mystery with some good character beats. On the other hand, you have the series arc episodes, which are soap operas with demonic elements. I’m fine with it - because of Jensen Ackles as Dean Winchester. I’m interested to see what season 2 is like.

[agirlandherfed]

ISSUES: Coping Strategies

This is a short story I did for Geeky Giving, a charity working to promote research in “Parkinson’s, ALS, traumatic brain injuries, brain tumors, Alzheimer’s and more.” They were kind enough to let me do an AGAHF short story for the charity anthology, so I did Jenny and Shawn: Jenny because she’s the researcher, Shawn because he’s been hurt. The story’s copyright has reverted to me, so I’m posting it here for everyone.

The man on the other side of the bed was sweet and kind and completely insane.

She didn’t know how to feel about that. This uncertainty bothered her more than the act of sleeping with a crazed man. Five years ago, she would have been mortified with herself, with the idea of intimacy with someone such as Shawn. Even if he wasn’t her patient. Even if he was more than a friend. Today, he was just…Shawn.

She didn’t let herself think about it—she’d find fear down there, and maybe something else, something that could chase the fear away but leave them both forever changed.

Instead, she stared at the ceiling and pretended she couldn’t hear her machines call to her.

Shawn’s mental voice was strong, and ran as crisp as a winter river through her mind. “Go,” he said.

“I thought you were asleep,” she whispered aloud.

“You’re too noisy. You should go. Go be with them.”

She rolled over to face him. He had cut his hair himself last week and had done an awkward job of it. Someone had given him a buzz cut to tidy him up, but aggressive neurosurgery and skull-shorn hair paired poorly. She traced his scars with her fingertips, feeling the bumps and twists of the ridges of his scar tissue, and beneath that, his drowsy tangle of emotions.

“They miss you,” he said in her mind. He reached out and traced her own scars, hidden beneath her short brown hair. “I’ll miss you, too, but I want to sleep.”

“All right.” She kissed him on his shoulder, and felt him drop out of her senses as his implant went into passive mode. “I’ll be back soon.”

“Take your time,” he muttered into his pillow, his voice cut down to nothing from lack of use. “I remember having more energy after sex.”

“You remember sex when you were twenty,” she said. Their clothes were a single knot on the floor; she yanked on loose ends until she had reclaimed her pants. “We’re getting old.”

Gentle snoring.

The other members of the collective slept around them, rooms and buildings and miles away. She felt them around her, off-line but still present in the back of her head, four hundred souls who shared their thoughts with her during the day but kept their dreams to themselves.

She opened the door to the crash room and stepped into her lab. It was a medical suite in name only, stuck beneath a crumbling mansion in what once had been a wine cellar. Federal funding only went so far: the government could front the costs for the cutting-edge technology that had gone into their heads, but resources for infrastructure and development? Please.

She didn’t mind. She had built her own diagnostic laboratory by scavenging equipment from storage, or buying what she couldn’t borrow. The room served double-duty as an emergency ward, but the worst injuries she saw tended to be exercise-induced, and not too many of those.

It left her plenty of time for her own projects.

Her computers whirred to life around her. There was no need for clunky access codes; they recognized her and welcomed her home.

“HELLO, JENNY.”

Theirs was a woman’s voice, false and mechanical. Most days, she told herself that they couldn’t feel, that she was projecting her own eagerness to get back to work on her machines.

On nights like this, when the rest of the collective was sleeping and she was nearly alone in her own head, Jenny wasn’t so sure.

“Hello, ladies,” she said. “Ready to play?”

A human brain sprung up around her in reply.

It was lovingly rendered in greens, and enlarged ten times life-size for clarity; if she looked closely, she could see the bright flashes of synapses.

(Which was something of a comfort—it was her own brain, scanned and digitized, and independent confirmation that your own brain is active is always welcome.)

The implant rested against her parietal lobe, a small metallic sliver smaller than the head of a nail. At this resolution, she could make out the microscopic filaments connected to it; these ran throughout her brain, the majority twining into her brain stem. Heat regulation had been front and center on the developers’ own minds; without it, the cyborgs would have cooked themselves within their own skulls.

She ran her fingers through the hologram. The silvery filaments covered her holographic brain like cobwebs, shining brightly against the green.

“Ladies, overlay image JED-1 over master.”

A second brain appeared, the same general size and shape as the first but made from blues instead of greens. The opacity of the green brain diminished as the blue brain was positioned over it.

“File: Jenny Davis, late night ramblings,” she said aloud. Talking helped. Speaking directly to her computers through her implant was good for clinical analysis, but it was late, and she was tired, and it was time to purge her thoughts so she could, maybe, get some sleep.

“RECORDING.”

“Thank you, ladies. Subfile: Background, general.” She began to pace around and through the hologram, checking for oddities. The blue brain was hers, too—had been hers, once, nearly seven years and an entire lifetime ago. Before the surgery, and the collective, and the alien oddness of hiveminds had all had their way with it. “Image JED-1, brain of a healthy 22-year-old Caucasian female. Ladies, highlight parietal lobe.”

A section of the hologram began to glow.

“Side by side, magnify, compare and contrast.”

The hologram divided itself again, blue and green enlarging to fill the room. She wandered through the colors, talking to her machines as she went, tracing lines and shapes and twisting flashes of—

“What’s this?”

Jenny swore aloud as her concentration shattered. Shawn flinched away from her sudden frustration and dropped to his knees.

“Oh, honey!” She knelt beside him and reached out through the link. His consciousness scurried away from hers, looking for an escape but unable to find it. “I didn’t know you were there. I’m so sorry.”

She pressed her bare hands against his bare shoulders: she pushed positive emotions—calm, peace, belonging—across the bridge of their skin until he believed it.

He uncurled, looking up at her like a lost lamb.

“I thought you were asleep,” she explained. “You scared me.”

Shawn laughed at that.

She managed to coax him off of the ground, one arm around him to keep him steady. “Here,” she said aloud. “Look. Want to see something amazing?

“This is me,” she continued, pointing to the blue hologram. “You know those tests you hate so much?”

“The brain scans?” He shuddered, and the sensation of being trapped in a tight white chamber crushed against her. Of lying as still as death, of knowing the person on the other end of the monitor was looking for what was wrong about what the core of you…

“Easy,” she whispered. “Please.”

His fear let her go, slowly. It had managed to find the cracks in her own psyche and had set itself deep—What if these brain implants stimulate tumorigenesis? Or neurodegeneration, or arteriovenous malformation, or… An almost endless list of what could go wrong…

But there was the green hologram, brand-new and still perfect, and she told herself to put those fears aside.

“Well…” she began, “you remember during orientation, when we all had full medical diagnostics done? This is a composite image from my first MRI and CT scans.”

He stretched out a hand; it passed through the hologram, layering him in a blue the color of a summer sky.

“And this is me, too,” she said, pulling the green parietal lobe towards them. “From last week. Notice the differences?”

“This,” he said, as he pointed to the bright sliver of light on the green lobe. “Obviously.”

“What else?”

He grinned at her. A sense of pleasure at the challenge came back to her over their link, and she turned away on the pretense of gathering up some fallen papers. Too easy to forget that Shawn had once been in the FBI, that he had once been a brilliant up-and-coming forensic artist.

That experimenting with the human mind could have consequences.

Shawn didn’t seem to notice. He moved between the holograms, sorting and poking. His own digital renders began to appear as he worked; the holograms he created were more stylized than her own, freehand sketches hanging in the air beside her still images.

“Here,” he said, once done.

She wrapped her arms around him and stood on her toes so she could rest her chin on his shoulder. His sketches were playful, with arcs of white light moving across the lobes in quick streams. In some places, they caught what she hadn’t: Shawn’s sketches moved across regions that seemed no different than the others, with—

Jenny squinted, hard. “Are those bunnies?”

She stepped away from Shawn and moved into the holograms. A tiny cartoon rabbit popped out of a fold in her green parietal lobe and scampered across her brain. That first rabbit was followed by a second, then a third…more rabbits, an infinite number of rabbits, each scurrying with purpose towards different destinations.

Not just arcs of light, then.

“There are cheetahs somewhere,” he said. “And horses, too. They don’t show up as often. I used rabbits to show the most frequent movement.”

Sure enough, a streak of light emerged across the green expanse before her. A herd of wild mustangs, manes and tails flowing together as they ran, moved in a single stream.

“Damn,” she said softly. “Baby, this is really beautiful.”

She felt his cheeks flush. “It’s just a clip from a YouTube video,” he replied. “I didn’t have time to render each horse.”

“But you drew the bunnies?”

“One of them. The rest are a copy-paste job.”

“These are neural networks,” she said, reaching out to touch the mustangs with her mind. They blurred beneath her thoughts: she hastily moved her mind away, scared she had damaged them. The herd reformed and continued its journey. “Your bunnies are action potentials. The horses—” Out of the corner of her eye, a tiny feline body bunched and shot across the hologram at an incredible speed. “—and the cheetahs are electrochemical neurotransmissions.”

He laughed aloud, a wild, coughing sound. “I can’t remember freshman biology,” he said. “All I know is that the green brain has more wildlife than the blue one. A lot more wildlife.”

“That’s because the implant’s been changing us.”

White light in her head, so bright and sudden it took her a moment to realize her words had stunned him. Shawn stood, motionless, before he turned and fled to the comfortable darkness of the crash room.

“Oh, no, no, Shawn honey…” Jenny hurried after him. If he managed to make it under the bed, he’d be there for the rest of the week. She reached him in time to lay both hands flat on his back and pushed—calm, belonging, peace—across their joined skin.

He let her pull him away from the bed, but no further. They huddled on the floor in a sad, uncomfortable pile, and she felt a spot on the knee of her jeans grow damp.

Shawn was crying.

“There’s always some good that comes with change,” she said gently.

He looked up at her, eyes wide and desperate, before curling in on himself again.

“You didn’t break. You got a little bent, but… Here,” she said. “Come back to the lab. I want to show you something.”

Bad days turned him mulish, but this was a good day: she was able to coax him off the floor and as far as the doorway. They stood in the void between rooms, cold tile beneath their toes and warm carpet under their heels, as the holograms spun before them.

Jenny pointed. “You said you noticed how there was more wildlife in the green brain?”

“…yes…”

“That’s because our brains—this part of our brains, anyhow—is more active than it was before we got the implant. No, not just active—it’s thriving! Want to guess why?”

His attention was fixed on the holograms, but the easy scorn of an eyeroll passed between them.

“Humor me,” she said. “I’m going to have to explain this to people who aren’t in the collective at some point. Help me find the right words for this.”

“Because we’re using our brains in new ways,” Shawn replied, his mood pulling itself a little higher. “Talking via a link, or this—” he said, and pushed sensations at her.

Unseen fur, coarse but soft, surrounded her hands. Beneath that was the heat from a living body. With these came the memory of a beloved family dog, long dead but not forgotten.

“Exactly,” she said, blinking back her own tears at the loss of a pet she had never met. “We’re the first humans to have been augmented in this way. It’s causing us to think and act differently. We’ve got these new skills that we’re just beginning to put to use. We’re barely seven years into this experiment, and there’s already observable growth in the parietal lobe. Can you imagine what we’ll be able to do after—”

“Wait, Jenny, wait. Brains grow? Don’t we… I thought we started shedding brain mass once we turned eighteen.”

“That’s Hollywood science,” she said. “Outdated and chock full of errors, but it still fits the script. The reality is…”

—rabbits, horses, and giant cats, speeding over an expanse of green in endless knots of light—

“The reality is, we’re miracles,” she said to him. “Human beings weren’t meant to be networked together. We shouldn’t have the ability to survive as part of a collective, but we do. We change—we grow. We’ve barely begun to understand how we can do any of this, but the more we learn, the more we can use that to grow.”

Shawn broke away from her and stepped into the lab. Greens and blues moved around him, coloring him in a digital sea. He was still naked; the scars across his wrists were nearly as white as the glowing animals.

“What about me?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m not…” Shawn’s hands clenched uselessly. “I’m not who I used to be. Does this mean I can go back to how I was, or will I…”

He opened his hands and let his mind pour into hers.

Memories. All of them, from the moment that his own mind broke under the weight of a new reality to living in the fear of staying as he was, unable to change, unable to grow, a roller coaster of emotions that threatened to tip off of the rails—

Too much: she cried out. Shawn lost focus: the memories faded.

Her world rebuilt itself in pieces. The floor came first: she had fallen to her knees. She concentrated on the patterns in the tile until she found the walls. Where there was a floor and walls, there was a ceiling…

She stood.

Shawn hadn’t noticed. “Is this me?” he asked. “This?! From now on?”

She closed her eyes and thought about impossible conversations. Then: “Ladies?”

The holograms stopped spinning.

“Replace current images with new holographic display. Show SEF-1 and SEF-46, parietal lobes only. Side-by-side comparisons.”

Blues and greens vanished; blues and greens returned. To the untrained eye, nothing had changed; the wildlife was gone, but the silvery rectangle was still there on the green brain, and the same flashes of light chased itself in purposeful patterns across both.

“Here,” she said, as she joined Shawn in the center of the room. “This is you. Your earliest scans are blue, and the most recent scans are green.”

He stared up at the twisting holograms. She felt his attention dart across the details, focusing like a laser on anything distinctive or different…

“They look just like yours,” he finally admitted.

“That’s the problem, baby.” Jenny pulled him close. “If you had typical neurological damage, it’d show up on the scans. Whatever happened to you, it’s…harder to find.”

“Why?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” she replied. “Mental illness can be caused by emotional, psychological, or physiological events, or a combination of these. We’re just beginning to scratch the surface of the causes of known disorders. Since your condition is almost unique, we’re flying blind.”

Sorrow. Loss. Anger—You’re a doctor! Why can’t you fix what’s wrong with me?!—and fear.

So much fear.

“We’ll get there,” she promised, as she pushed her own fear down below where she could feel it. “You’re responding well to medication and therapy. It’ll take time, and trial-and-error, and…and more tests, I’m sorry. None of this is easy, but we’ll make it work.

“You might never get back to who you used to be,” she admitted, as his heart hammered in her head. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t get to where you want to be, now.”

“I can do more tests,” he said quietly, even as the white chamber rose up again in his mind.

Together, they held their fears away.

[untiediknot]

Tico Phillips - ID # 620091551

When it comes to gender representations and stereotypes in mainstream media, it’s difficult to contend with how it might benefit women and men - or even to reconcile with the various changes needed in the way gender is represented - without first recognizing the many nuances which exist within media itself and outside of it. Let me begin by saying that this is a really complicated, contentious issue. Entire books, lengthy ones at that, have been devoted to media and its impact. Nonetheless, I will try my best to unpack a few points. First of all, because “mainstream media” encompasses such a wide variety of platforms and products, it is difficult to address these kinds of issues directly without first breaking down this term more thoroughly. Broadly speaking there is print and broadcast, whether it be music, film, television, books, news and the internet to name a few. Any one of these would merit its own deep dive into the topic of representation of women and men. 

In my opinion, mainstream media (at least in its current state) is by design and definition hegemonic. It both reflects and projects normative values - it may challenge those norms but ultimately cannot pose a fundamental threat to them. Representations of men and women in mainstream media may be progressive, even transgressive, but only to a certain point. The limits of mainstream media to “accurately” represent anyone or anything is a perennial argument for the importance of independent media. For instance, the other day, I recently watched the 2019 movie Hustlers, whose plot mainly consists of a group of female strippers who conspire to rob wealthy Wall Street men. 

While on the surface this narrative does sound transgressive (take for instance, the idea of the film itself being exclusively female led - by a diverse case of women of colour no less - or the premise of disenfranchised sex workers taking control of their lives and exercising autonomy using their wits - instead of their bodies - to get ahead), one cannot forget that the whole ‘point’ of the movie is heavily reliant upon its conformity to and position within outdated tropes of women primarily as sex objects and men primarily as financial providers. Even if it seeks to represent an experience that is for the most part ‘inspired by a true story’, its presentation is, for lack of a better term, tired. 

Mind you, I thoroughly enjoyed the film - and I would recommend everyone go see it whenever they get the chance - but what with its thematic focus on sex, materialism, vanity and greed (especially through a gendered lens), it quite frankly doesn’t tell us the viewers anything we don’t already know (or haven’t already seen) time and time again about male/female power dynamics. In fact, the closing line of the film was particularly poignant. One of the main female leads, Ramona retorts, “The whole country is a strip club. You have people tossing the money and people doing the dance.” With that being said, men (particularly the ones behind the scenes ‘pulling the strings’ as it were) are almost always tossing the money in their funding of these projects and women (particularly the ones on the world stage) are almost always ‘doing the dance’, struggling to keep up - especially if job prospects and opportunities are limited.

Representation matters, no doubt. It’s just that I think that the politicalization of representation is an intentional capitalistic strategy by these powers that be (i.e. the bigwigs). Media is a consumable good, that goes without saying. It can also be used as a tool to distract. In fact, Brooks and Hebert argue that “much of what comes to pass as ‘important’ (or not important) is based often on the stories produced and disseminated by media institutions.” For instance, getting politically unaware people to dialogue about representation in media is a way to get them to interact with media, and at the same, preempt actual political work. People may know for instance the names of all of Kim Kardashian’s children, but ask them to name the elected members of parliament from the House of Representatives and they blank out. They may know precisely how many females/blacks/LGBT identified individuals are on their favorite TV shows but not on their city planning or school boards. Why is this? As discussed in section 1 of Whose Perspectives, the gatekeepers of the media are for the most part, responsible for “selecting, constructing and representing perceived realities - while obscuring others”, mostly for their own gain, financial or otherwise. After all, there’s nothing more dangerous than an educated public, so if they (the public) are kept ignorant (and pacified), they (the elite) can continue to push their agendas and continue to line their pockets, because they know that the public will ‘buy’ whatever they sell - literally and figuratively speaking.

Mind you, to say that media’s influence is purely negative would be negligent at best. I think that while there are definite drawbacks, there are also definite benefits. For instance, seeing people who look, act, or represent themselves the same as you can be comforting if you struggle with a sense of belonging or feeling alone or alienated from your peers. Consequently, as a society we're seeing a lot more diversity now, especially on television, and that's really exciting, especially since media tends to mimic and mirror society itself. Take for instance the critically acclaimed TV series ‘Pose’ on FX which explores how race, class, sexuality and gender intersect within the lives of the queer, trans and gender non-conforming participants of the underground ballroom scene in New York City. It should be noted that this is the first ever show in history with the largest cast of transgender actors (and characters).

If someone had no prior concept of the struggles faced by these minority groups, just engaging with the show might influence how they treat and interact with the oppressed and disenfranchised in their own neighborhoods, inadvertently teaching them compassion and tolerance which may (hopefully) result in them advocating for equitable legislation that benefits everyone - inclusive of people from all walks of life. Thus, when it comes to gender representations and stereotypes in mainstream media, perhaps we should not contend with how it benefits (or does not benefit) men and women across all walks of life, but rather the various responsibilities that we have as individuals (and as a collective) to create content not with the intent to sell or make a profit (as the gatekeepers are prone to doing), but rather to advance civilization forward in meaningful ways.

                                                       References

Brooks, D. & Hébert, L. (2006). Gender, race, and media representation. In B. J. Dow & J. T. Wood The SAGE handbook of gender and communication (pp. 297-318). Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications, Inc. doi:10.4135/9781412976053.n16

Donald, P., et al. (2011). Gender and Media Content. Whose Perspective: A Guide to Gender-Aware Analysis of Media Content

Ryan Murphy Productions (2019). Pose (FX) Trailer HD - Evan Peters, Kate Mara series. [image] Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_t4YuPXdLZw [Accessed 16 Sep. 2019].

STXfilms (2019). Hustlers Trailer #1 (2019) | Movieclips Trailers. [image] Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUG2U-IxPx0 [Accessed 17 Sep. 2019].

[gaganalyses]

Venus

Venus is a song inspired by ‘The Birth of Venus’, a painting by Sandro Botticelli.

She describes it as a hybrid of different things:

‘’(...) this song is a hybrid of a couple different things. One of those things is Venus, the goddess of love, as we know in Roman and Greek mythology; and then, it’s also about the planets. So, this song is about faith, but it’s also about finding faith in other places — in the beyond — and, my experience with love being something that took me a really long time to find.’’

She further stated: ‘’So, this song’s really about sex, but it’s about sex in the most mythological way.’’

To better understand her inspiration, let’s take a quick look at the mythology of Venus:

In Roman mythology, Venus was the goddess of love, sex, beauty and fertility. She combined physical and intellectual love. In the Greek mythology, however, the goddess of all those things was Aphrodite. Not only that: she was also the goddess of victory, fertility and prostitution.

This is interesting because Gaga mentions both goddesses in the song, deepening its meaning.

The planets in the solar system were named after gods, so she plays with a lot of symbolism here. Of course we have to reach a little here because we can’t know for sure if she actually thought about the different planets and what they stand for while writing the song, but knowing Gaga and her master mind, there’s a high chance that she did!

So, let’s analyse the lyrics!

‘Rocket # 9 take off to the planet, to the planet, Venus’

The story behind this part is sort of a chain reference: it directly took on the lyrics from the 1960’s song ‘Rocket Number 9’ by Sun Ra, which was later covered by Zombie Zombie (Venus also samples this song musically) - the song basically consists of those few words on repeat. ‘Rocket Number Nine’ is also the name of an ‘all-purpose external rocket-camera that orbits or is deployed around the Satellite of Love' in the 1988’s movie ‘Mystery science theatre 3000’.

Since Gaga stated that the song is also about planets and love, this could be her way of saying ‘Hey, I think I’m falling in love with you. Let’s run away to planet number nine, even beyond cloud number nine.’

If we look at the planet Venus as the planet of women, it can be seen as a reference to her bisexuality - this is being underlined by several metaphors throughout the song.

‘Aphrodite lady seashell bikini, garden panty, Venus’

This is a direct reference to the painting by Botticelli, where the goddess stands -nude - inside of a seashell in the ocean (which might also be the reason for the ‘sea theme’ that Gaga continuously used during the ARTPOP era). According to the mythology, Venus was born out of sea foam and came ashore on a shell. The girl on the right of the painting wants to cover her with a flowery mantle. In the back of the painting, you can see a forest.

Knowing all of this, it’s pretty easy to understand that Gaga views herself, metaphorically, as Venus/Aphrodite: she is proud to be a woman and owns it. Instead of standing inside of the shell she stranded in, she wears it and covers only her mount with blooming flowers to represent the beauty of femininity (and, of course, this could also be a metaphor for pubic hair = refusing to cover up) because she is not afraid of surrendering to her lover in her full glory (anymore). That would explain why she uses Aphrodite instead of Venus, since she’s also the goddess of victory, as we established earlier!

In the modern context, she’s owning her femininity and feels sexy. She adds a ‘get with me’ right before the pre-chorus, inviting her lover to be with her.

Let's blast off to a new dimension, in your bedroom, Venus’

Well, she’s obviously talking about mind-blowing sex here, probably using the ‘blast off into a new dimension’ as a metaphor for the climax (in her lover’s bedroom). At the same time it’s a fun wordplay with the rocket reference.

‘I can't help the way I'm feeling, Goddess of love please take me to your leader’

She obviously can’t control her desire. If we take back into view the theory that this song has some sapphic undertones, this could mean two things: either she can’t help desiring the woman of her longing, thus accepting her sexuality and embracing it. Or she’s talking to her stronger self - the ‘goddess of love’ - and calls her for guidance. In addition, ’Take me to your leader’ is a sci-fi catchphrase used by aliens, indicating that she has arrived on the planet Venus. Everything she feels is new to her.

‘I can't help I keep on dancin, goddess of love, take me to your planet, your venus’’

She surrenders and follows her drive. Throughout her discography, Gaga often uses ‘dancing’ as a metaphor for sex and masturbation.

‘When you touch me I die, just a little inside, I wonder if this could be love’

This is Gaga explaining her feelings with the kind of love she has never experienced before. It’s the same feeling she describes in ‘Perfect Illusion’: ‘I don’t need eyes to see, I felt you touching me, high like amphetamine, maybe you’re just a dream’. Perfect Illusion also picked up the last lyric, as she discovered that ‘it wasn’t love’.

'Cause you're out of this world, galaxy, space and time, I wonder if this could be love’

Her lover is out of this world, galaxy, space and time and Gaga feels like she’s dying a little inside whenever they touch her. She’s equating them with a god(ess). Could this be love?

‘have an oyster, baby, It’s Aphrod-isy, act sleazy’

Oysters are known to be an aphrodisiac, increasing sexual desire. She wants her lover to start acting dirty.

Oh, and someone stated that oyster is a metaphor for vagina (which isn’t too far off to be honest, if you ask me).

‘worship to the land, a girl from the planet’

As explained earlier, Venus was born on earth, but she is a goddess after all (a girl from the planet). She was a gift to earth (worship to the land) to spread love and sex. If I remember correctly, Gaga once mentioned that she sometimes feels like an alien in the music industry. So metaphorically, she could be encouraging the world to worship her, because she lives for the applause.

The bridge is quite interesting because Gaga didn’t list the planets and the gods they represent in the correct order of the solar system.

Looking at the order she put them in, this could unfold a new side of the story. Of course this doesn’t necessarily have to have a deeper meaning, but we should think about all the possible reasons as to why she did that. Even though each planet represents a god, I believe that Gaga focused more on the astrological symbolism here (I highlighted the different meanings and they sum up the essential struggles in Gaga’s life).

‘Neptune, go’ Neptune was the god of the sea (which symbolises faith). Astrologically, Neptune symbolises time: past, present and future. It also represents dreams. She lets go of her past…

‘now serve, Pluto’ …and embraces her power. Pluto was the god of the underworld. This could represent her fear of death and mental health struggles. Astrologically, Pluto stands for deep psyche and hidden power.

‘Saturn’ Stands for wealth, which could be metaphorical for her career and the struggles she has to face. Astrologically, Saturn stands for dominance, power & charge.

‘Jupiter’ Is the god of sky and thunder, which could represent her trauma; astrologically it stands for growth and healing.

'Mercury, Venus, uh ha!’ Mercury stands for boundaries and communication and astrologically represents the power of words. Mercury is neither feminine, nor masculine - it amplifies whatever it’s connected to. So in this context, this line clearly describes her bisexuality (she is Venus and the gender of her lover doesn’t matter). On a deeper level, this can be seen as a reference to Born This Way and the power its lyrics had, helping her and so many other people embrace their sexual orientation.

‘Uranus!’ Is the god of the sky. As Gaga sings in ‘Sine from Above’, music has always saved her. No matter if she’s talking about god or music sine waves here, it’s clear that it represents her faith in this context. In the astrological sense, it represents being weird, art, shock value.

‘Don't you know my ass is famous?’ This one is connected to the line before, Gaga obviously knows how much we love her bum and likes to show it. I think this is meant as a fun response to the criticism she faces for her art from the general public.

‘Mars’ Is war, masculinity and youth. She’s been at war with herself for so long and many people, especially men, have hurt her.

‘Now serve for the gods, earth, serve for the stars!’ She’s letting go of all of it and drowns herself in her art and love. Earth is feminine and stands for infinite creativity.

To get every layer of the song, we need to briefly look at the surroundings, too.

There were three different cover art versions for the single:

In the first one, Gaga has a scorpion on her face and a deep cut above her left breast. It was inspired by Marina Abramovic, who posed with the animal as a homage to feminist Frida Kahlo, who originally posed with a monkey. The scorpion stands for death, disease and danger. On the cover of the Candy Magazine in 2013/2014, Gaga wore a scorpion on her left boob.

The second one is a bit more abstract and if you look closely, you can see Gaga as a dead bat. The bat symbolises death and rebirth.

The third cover shows Gaga standing naked in the bathroom with a Venus clam in her mouth. The Venus Clam represents women, art, music, relationships, and was perceived as deeply creative.

All of this adds to the theory of the astrological meaning of the planets: Gaga is ready to be reborn and start a new life, possibly with her lover that she is now ready to surrender to.

Almost every time she performed the song, it was notable that she barely wore any clothes. Mostly, her outfit consisted of a seashell bra and a garden panty, that had only minor changes done for different performances. One exception was her performance on Smap x Smap in Japan, where she wore a body embroidered with flowers (another reference to the painting by Botticelli).

On one occasion at a gay club, she even stripped completely naked. At the X Factor, she wore nothing but a nude bikini and during her performance on Graham Norton, she additionally only had female dancers on the stage.

Another two things that are mentionable, are the long and bushy, blonde wigs that she wore in most of her performances and the fact that whenever she showed herself naked, she hadn’t shaved her pubic hair. All of those things add depth to the topic of the song, as she’s fully embracing her femininity. And lastly: the ‘V’ symbol she formed with her hands obviously stands for Venus, but now that we know about the more subtle topics within the song, you can let your imagination run wild *wink*.