#instead of sunday at midnight LIKE EVERY OTHER FUCKING ASSIGNMENT

[knifegremliin]

wishing my professor a very get better at your fucking job

[jiminniethemarshmallow]

Wait For Me (M)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: smut, pwp

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: yikes switch!reader, switch!Jimin (but mostly dom), needy!Jimin, horny-ass-mf!Jimin, masturbation, dirty talk, ruined orgasm, post-orgasm torture, dirty talk, overstimulation, 69(?), multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, dirty talk, creampie, pet names, begging, dirty talk, omg so much dirty talk I’m going crazy

(A/N): Am I the only one that’s into dirty talk like this? Maybe. But did I enjoy writing this? Absolutely. Kinda for Jimin’s birthday but really just me needing an excuse to be a sl*t in writing.

“Please, (Y/n)?” Your boyfriend whines from his spot on the bed, the tent in his boxers already pitched to full height behind you.

“No! Wait until I’m finished.” You huff in frustration, trying your hardest to focus on the words in front of you. It’s a stuffy Sunday night like any other, you sitting at your desk doing your homework at the last minute and Jimin reclining on your shared mattress doing whatever the hell he wants. Except, tonight all he wants to do is you. You’ve been prancing around the house in nothing but his shirt and a pair of panties all day, teasing him playfully and laughing whenever he would get worked up. You thought it was funny how easily you could get him hard without trying, but it doesn’t seem so funny now when he keeps begging to fuck you while you’re desperately trying to complete your homework.

“You promised we would fuck tonight!” His pout is evident in the tone of his voice but you refuse to look at him. If you do, you just might give in.

“We will, but I have to finish this assignment first. It’s due at midnight, so I really need to get it done right now.” It’s your fault for waiting until the night of to work on this, but you wrongfully assumed that Jimin would understand and let you work in peace. All you have to do is complete a short reading and take a 10 question quiz and then you’re free, but what should have been a 15 minute endeavor has now turned into an hour and a half of arguing and rereading the same 3 sentences over and over. It’s getting ridiculous.

“You said you wouldn’t take long, but I’ve been sitting here ALL NIGHT waiting for you.”

“That’s because you won’t shut up!” You snap, glaring at him from the corner of your eye. His mouth falls open before he frowns, puffing his cheeks out cutely for no one to see. You think you hear him mutter something under his breath, but you don’t question it and instead take his momentary silence to speed through a page.

The silence continues for a couple of minutes and you swear you can feel his eyes burning into the back of your seat. There’s some shuffling on the bed, more silence, and just when you begin to think he’s found something useful to do instead of bothering you, you hear a groan. The hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

He’s closer than he was before— probably sitting on the edge of the bed facing you now— and it almost feels like he’s breathing down your neck with how clear his voice sounds now. You scoot your chair up slightly to escape him. The sound of friction fills the space of the room, the image of his hand wrapped around his dick floating around your mind even when you refuse to look at him. He pumps fairly slowly, his eyes still glued to your back.

“Mmm, I’m so fucking hard, baby.” Jimin moans to you, trying to coax you into turning your head to see him. “I’ve been hard all day because of you and now you won’t even look at me? Such a bad girl.” You roll your eyes, tuning him out as best you can. Yet, you can’t seem to ignore the wet squelch that fills your ears when he rolls over his head. He moans louder this time. “Since you won’t look at me, I guess I’ll just have to tell you what I’m doing. Wouldn’t want you to miss out on anything.”

At your sigh, he chuckles, the sound dark and mischievous in a way that makes you ball up your fists. “Jimin,” You warn, but he knows the threat holds no real substance.

“My cock is so red right now, just aching to fuck your tight little pussy, princess. It’s leaking already, can you hear it? All that precum just for you.” You close your eyes, envisioning the sight you’ve seen so many times, but your eyes snap open when you remember your objective and turn the page of your book. “I want you so bad, want you to lick it all up and take me into your throat. Fuck. My hand feels nothing like that hot mouth of yours.” His strokes are longer now, dragging breathy, rhythmic pants from him.

You’d be lying if you said his voice wasn’t making you wet, but you won’t let him know that. He’ll be at this for a while, you know how much he likes to tease himself, so you try your hardest to get used to his rhythm and make it background noise as you progress through the reading. But the words on the pages don’t seem nearly as interesting as the words he feeds you from his plump lips.

“My head is so sensitive, princess, I can barely even touch it without almost cumming.” He grunts, gasping every time his hand nears his tip. You lick your lips, shifting in your seat, an action he catches onto. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Seeing me cum all over myself while fucking my hand? Calling your name as I make a mess all over myself and our bedsheets?” The bed squeaks and you can only imagine that it’s from his hips bucking into his fist, picking up speed as he speaks. Your clit throbs annoyingly, and before you can stop yourself, your hand slips between your legs to rub over your panties. Thankfully, he doesn’t see this, probably because his head is thrown back as he lets out a series of moans.

You’re sensitive. More sensitive than you realized. And you almost let out a sound of your own when he curses. And for a brief moment— a split second— you contemplate abandoning your work and indulging him just to end your suffering. But no, you can’t give in that easily, you have less than a half hour to do your assignment. You’ll keep your hand where it is, however.

“Feels so fucking good,” Jimin lets out a drawn out moan, slowing his pace and working his hand again so you can hear it slapping against the skin of his abdomen. It’s loud and wetter than before, making you gush in your underwear at the thought of how worked up he’s getting. “I know how much you like playing with my balls,” You hear the grin in his voice. “So I’ll play with them a little for you, baby.” The obscene moan that falls from his mouth makes your eyes roll, the material of your panties completely soaked now at how desperate he sounds. You can’t help but to rub yourself to him, willing yourself not to turn around. “I wanna feel that tight little pussy bouncing on my cock, princess. So wet that you drip and cream down my balls as you ride this big cock til you cum, and beg me to cum deep inside your hot cunt. Will- oh shit- will you let me cum inside you tonight, baby? Let me cum deep inside and fill you up so you’re dripping me for days?” His voice is heavy with lust, it’s tone dipping deeper as his moans pitch higher. You assume it’s a rhetorical question so you don’t respond. “Hmm? Are you wet thinking about my cock and cum filling you up, (Y/n)?”

“No.” You lie through your teeth, voice surprisingly stable despite how your fingers move rapidly over your clothed clit. You can feel your wetness through the fabric now, and you just know there will be a stain on your chair when you get up, but you can’t bring yourself to care.

“No?” He asks teasingly. “You okay over there? You haven’t turned a page in a while.” Damn him for being so observant. You almost forgot you were reading, the words all jumbled up on the page as your focus is pulled away by the pleasure. Fuck it, you’ll just take the quiz now to get it over with and accept whatever score you get. Jimin watches  in amusement as you turn to your laptop, clicking open the quiz hurriedly and starting the questions, zooming through the first 5. He lets out a short laugh at that. “You better hurry, I’m getting close.”

Sucking in through his teeth, you hear him speed up again, spitting onto himself to make the glide smoother, and your core clenches in want. You read question #6 four times before you comprehend what it’s asking, your body betraying you as it yearns for you to look over at your stubborn boyfriend who curses out your name.

“Listen to that sound, princess. That’s what it would sound like if I was fucking you right now. God, I should just bend you over that desk and take you right here for making me wait like this. Make you take every inch of this cock and see if you can ignore me then.” He nearly growls this, an inaudible whimper squeezing from your throat. You would love that. He’s done it before, pushed you up against the desk and had his way with you when you thought it would be funny to give him a strip tease after he ordered you to get on the bed one wine-laced night. But he doesn’t deserve to have you like that after torturing you like this.

Only 3 more questions left and he’s getting more needy, the whiny quality of his voice letting you know how close he is before his words. A noise that you’re all too familiar with fills the air and you freeze. It’s quick and sloppy, the sound of his hand focusing directly on his tip at an inhuman speed that not even you could reproduce. His moans follow the pace, each one getting longer and pitchier, and you can almost hear how his hips lift off the sheets.

“You better not cum.”

“You want me to edge? But I’ve been on edge all day, baby.” He complains. Against your better judgment, you whip your head around to look at him. There, he sits naked on the edge of the bed, legs spread wide as he leans back on one elbow, one hand tangled in the sheets, the other stroking slowly at his thick cock upon your request. It’s red and leaking just like he said, the glistening tip causing your mouth to water. Jimin’s head is thrown back to expose his sweaty neck, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows, eyes shut in pleasure. But once he realizes that you’re looking at him, he snaps his head up to meet your gaze and sends you a shit-eating grin at the flushed look on your face. Then, he resumes working at his head, arching his hips up in the most erotic sight you’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing. That’s the last straw.

“Don’t you dare fucking cum!” You growl.

You click random answers on the last few quiz questions, hitting submit and slamming your laptop shut before stomping over to him, slapping his hand away as you clamber up onto the bed, pushing him down aggressively and throwing a leg over his chest to face his erection. It jumps at you, so painfully hard that you almost feel bad for him. But Jimin doesn’t deserve your pity right now. Not long after your hand finds him, your mouth fits over the soft tip.

“Fuuuuuck.” He grunts, hands finding your ass instantly. The crotch of your panties are soaked all the way through, the dark spot causing a smirk to cross his lips. “Why did you lie to me, princess? I thought you said you weren’t wet?” For some reason, hearing him say this makes you even wetter, and you suck in a breath through your nose when his fingers come up to touch your core, a deep hum vibrating through his body that ends in a chuckle. “Absolutely drenched, baby. Were you touching yourself over there? Your clit is so swollen I can see it through your panties.”

His voice hitches at the end of his sentence as you sink all the way down on him, pushing yourself to take him all the way into your throat just like he wanted, the tip of your nose resting at his balls. It’s partially payback for his teasing, but you adore the response you get from him as he nearly chokes on air from the sudden stimulation. You bob a few times, a delightful lightheaded feeling overtaking you as you hold your breath and force yourself to keep him in your throat. Your reward is that you finally shut him up, Jimin now at a loss of words beneath you and shaking with the effort it takes to not fuck into your mouth. Smirking, you pull off of him, dropping your ass down a bit until your core grazes his lips, and he gets the hint immediately. Always the eager lover, he pulls the crotch of your underwear to the side, groaning at the strings of arousal that cling to it. The sight makes his mouth water, his tongue lurching forward to lick a long stripe up your slit, gliding back down to suck at your engorged clit.

Your moan is muffled around him, working the top half of his shaft while one hand accommodates the rest, and your jaw is already starting to hurt from his size. Although he’s generally a small person, Jimin’s cock is anything but. Your jaw fell to the floor the first time he dropped his pants, the girth surprising you pleasantly. He’s got an impressive width that left you sore for a few days and a length that is well above average. His balls always seem plump and heavy, ready for you to milk them dry, and you can’t stop yourself from reaching up and grabbing them, massaging the plush sacs for your own amusement.

“Oh f- you’re so good at this.” He cuts himself off with a gasp, kissing the inside of your thighs and biting hickies into them as his mind becomes cloudy. He’s close— if the slight movement of his hips is any indication— and an evil idea pops into your mind. His hips thrust upwards at a particularly hard suck at his tip and you gag at the sudden depth, Jimin nearly yelling out at how your throat closes around him. “Yesss, baby girl, choke on my dick.” You preen at his praise, but keep your composure.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.” Your hips push back into him, covering his mouth with your lower lips, and he continues his work enthusiastically to distract himself. You’ve switched to using just your tongue now, licking up and down the solid shaft and circling around the head, providing just enough stimulation to inch him closer to the edge but no longer giving him what he wants. What he wants is a hard and fast orgasm. You’ll make sure that’s not what he gets. His groans increase in volume and frequency as you work your magic tongue, flicking over that sensitive fold of skin where his tip attaches to the rest of him, and it’s not long before he’s trembling.

“(Y/n),” He mumbles out a shaky warning, and you have to push down his hips with one hand when they begin to lift off the bed, your other hand jerking steadily at his base while you tease over his slit with the tip of your tongue. The pressure builds, his balls lifting in preparation for his release, and you coax it out of him with a few gentle sucks. “Ah!”

Jimin lets out a high pitched groan sounding almost in pain when you pull off of him, squeezing at his base so hard that only a few short spurts of cum make it out. Your mouth has been completely removed from him, it’s only connection being the long strand of saliva hanging from your lips, and he bucks up frantically in search of stimulation to complete his orgasm. Still rock hard, he practically begs you to move your hand, to give him anything as the few lonely globs of semen sadly skid down onto your hand like tears from his one-eyed monster. His mouth is covered by your pussy so you can’t hear his pleas, but the vibrations they send to your core are absolutely delightful. Once you’re sure he’s finished cumming, you begin your evil plan.

It starts with a few slow pumps, lubed by his own semen from his length that’s still twitching in your hand, but it quickly escalates to firm and steady strokes that have him squirming under you. You aren’t even going that fast, but the sensitivity makes him thrash and cry out prettily as you hold him down with your body weight. Jimin’s into all kinds of freaky shit, so this isn’t the first time you’ve indulged in post orgasm torture, but it’s somehow very different when he’s not expecting it. Your hand moves at an unyielding pace, unbothered by the way his legs open and close only to be smacked apart by the hand that still holds his balls.

“I’ll stop when you make me cum.” You state, unsure if he can even hear you. But his tongue dives in with renewed vigor, flicking relentlessly at your clit as you grind down on him. It won’t take long to reach your peak, his technique is flawless, licking wide circles around your bud with the flat of his tongue and then raising up to plunge his long muscle between your walls. Your essence dribbles down onto his face, wetting his chin and cheeks as he eats you like a man starved. You haven’t been this turned on in a long while, you didn’t think you’d be so into seeing him suffer in pleasure like this— his body writhing under yours and cock still so insanely hard in your hand just from the light hold you have on him. His hands claw at your ass, pulling you down and spreading your cheeks apart, fingers bruising the flesh in his haze of sweet agony.

You moan for him and bite your lip, closing your eyes as he edges you closer to your peak, your hand starting to stutter on him. It’s easy to get lost in him and grind down into his mouth, the feeling of his tongue between your folds heavenly, the feeling of his lips even better. But what sets you over the top is when his fingers snake into your opening, first two, then three. The stretch causes you to throw your head back, and you go flying head first into your orgasm when he curls into that one spot, tongue still on your clit and fingers wiggling inside you as your walls spasm around him. With one last groan, you lift away from him, finally moving your hands to his thighs to grip the muscles as you try to catch your breath. Jimin does the same, relaxing into the mattress as a few more ticklish waves flow through him.

“Was that okay?” You spin around until you’re laid on top of him, chin on his chest looking up into his dark chocolate eyes. He cracks a brief smile at your cuteness before flipping you over, capturing your lips sweetly. But the sweetness ends before you can even enjoy it when he bites down on your lip, a whimper falling from you.

“You can’t ask for my consent after it’s over.” He points out, trying to hide his giggle in the crook of your neck as he sucks dark marks there. “But, yeah, that was fucking hot.” The tip of his erection prods at your ass cheek, nudging the fabric of your soiled underwear. Without pulling away, Jimin hooks his fingers into your waistband, snatching them off and chucking them across the room, next comes your shirt, which he damn near rips in his haste to get it over your head. He growls. “So fucking sexy. And all mine. Right, princess?”

“Yes, Jimin, I’m all yours. Do whatever you want with me.” In an instant you switch roles, dropping the momentary dominance to cower in his presence. There’s a hunger in your boyfriend’s eyes that you provoked, the product of the teasing he faced all day, and you drip down your ass at the thought of him taking you however he wants. You suspect he’ll be eager to finally fuck you, but you underestimate how petty he can be. The tip of his cock runs through your wetness, but when he sees the way you jump when it rolls over your sensitive clit, his eyes narrow, seeing an opportunity to get his revenge. Dipping down briefly to collect more of your wetness, he glides the slick underside of him over your bundle of nerves, using his thumb to press down and add pressure, then he grinds his hips ever so slowly back and forth over you, forcing you to feel every ridge of him bump against you. “Oh fuck!” You gasp out, spreading your legs wider and lifting your hips into him. His length is hot, still burning and hard from not getting a full orgasm.

“You like this, baby? You like how my cock feels between these soft lips, rubbing that cute little clit?” He grins when your eyes roll back, thighs already starting to tremble. “Maybe I should just fuck you like this. Make you cum without ever even entering you.”

“No! No, please, Jimin.” Your eyes pop open in alarm at the thought of him not fucking you tonight, though you know he’s far too wound up to deny both of you that. Still, he persists his humping, groaning along with you as you feel another orgasm creeping up embarrassingly fast.

“Hmm, seems like you’d like that though? I mean, you look like you’re about to cum again already.” The patronizing tone of voice he uses would piss you off in any other situation, but you’re not in your right mind currently. As he picks up pace you feel your mind slipping away, your clit throbbing and your empty walls clenching almost painfully around nothing. You try to hold back and prove him wrong, you really do, but your body betrays you and with every nudge of his tip you can feel yourself falling. The most you can let out is a desperate whine. “If you want something, use your words and tell me.”

“P-please...”

“Please what?” You can feel his eyes on your face, but your eyelids are sealed shut and your head is tossed back into the pillows. It takes everything in you to muster the strength to form a coherent sentence and push it past your lips.

“P-please fuck me, baby.” Your voice hiccups at a particular stroke, the hood of your bud now pushed back for more direct stimulation. You aren’t sure how long you’ll last like this.

“You want me to fuck you?” He coos, twitching against your lower lips.

“Yes please, I need your cock.” Asking in the sweetest voice you can, you peel your eyes open to bat your lashes at him, but they snap shut once again when he suddenly pushes inside your velvet walls, shoving you off the edge unexpectedly.

“That’s my good girl,” Jimin sighs once he’s bottomed out, hands roaming your torso as you shake uncontrollably. “So desperate for my cock that you came right when I put it in.” He clicks his tongue, but if you were cognizant at the moment you would have noticed his satisfied tone. You clamp down on him as your orgasm washes through you, and he rides the waves with shallow pumps of his hips and his fingers tweaking your nipples, grunting at the way you pulse around him.

He pushes in deeper as you start coming down, the sensitivity kicking in with every drag of his member inside you. He pays no mind to your whimpering and reaches around your back to lift you up, seating you in his lap with your heels on the tops of his ass. And your hips start moving immediately despite the tingling that shoots up your spine.

Though his body screams for release after his incomplete high, Jimin can’t help but guide you into a sensual pace of grinding and rocking, the intimacy soothing him. With your arms around his neck, you fall into a comfortable rhythm as you slide back and forth against his length, adding a swivel of your hips just to hear him groan. Your weight on top of his feels like the most natural thing in the world and he wishes you could stay like this forever. Running his hands up and down your back, he allows you to mark up his neck and collarbones for everyone to see. He always wears your love bites so proudly. Relishes in the slight tickle of your tongue and nip of your teeth that whisper to him ‘you are mine’. Rose petals bloom on the surface of his skin all the way up to his ear lobe where you nibble.

“Your cock feels fucking amazing, babe.” You whisper in that sultry tone of yours, noting how his hips twitch beneath yours. You’d never say it out loud but you’ve been thinking of this all day. Waiting to hold him close and just love one another. His lips plant a few stray kisses to the side of your neck before trailing downwards, capturing a pert bud between them. You lean back on your hands to give him more access, grinding down just a bit harder when his hips lift to meet yours to make sure you get every inch he has to offer. With your head thrown back like this Jimin can reach that delicate spot deep inside you with ease, humming at the shaky moan you let out. His lips curl into a grin when you begin to bounce with desperation, planting your feet behind him for leverage.

Jimin’s eyes peer up at you as you ride his dick, your breast bouncing in his mouth as he switches to the other to suck. Sweat has now accumulated on your forehead and neck, the droplets glittering against your complexion. Your eyes are screwed shut and the prettiest flush has overtaken your cheeks and chest as you work for your next high, lips bitten and eyebrows squinted together. Truly, you are gorgeous. It makes him impossibly harder to see you like this, his length already throbbing within you, but he holds back as much as he can simply because seeing you fall apart is almost more satisfying than experiencing it himself. It should be surprising that you’re getting close already, but it’s always been easy for you to cum quickly after your first orgasm, the sensitivity and connection you have with your lover making you as explosive as a lit firecracker.

“You’re so needy tonight, princess, is it because of how much you teased me all day? Did you like watching me suffer?” You don’t answer because, frankly, yes. You loved it. And it’s too embarrassing to admit, but Jimin already knows. “Well, let’s see how much you like it when I destroy this cunt until you can’t walk.” The gruffness of his voice makes your eyes roll, the tenderness he’d shown not even a minute ago gone completely as he lets his teeth scrape over your nipple.

Bringing you flush against his chest again, he hooks his elbows under your knees and starts pounding into you in earnest, your hands flying to his shoulders for stability. His core strength is a sight to behold, supporting almost all of your weight while sitting upright, pulling you onto his cock as though you weigh nothing. And all you can do is hang on for the ride, gasping and crying out at the way he repeatedly slams into your spot. Tangling your hands in his hair, you pull him closer and rest your face on the crown of his head, feeling your limbs go weak from the pleasure.

He grunts below you when you tug, bucking up harder when your walls start to squeeze. Wetness streaks down your ass, a string of curses tumble out of your mouth to accompany the lewd sounds of him pushing through your arousal. Each stroke is calculated, and you find yourself teetering very close to the edge.

“Please, Jimin, I’m so close. Please can I cum?” You mumble, barely coherent.

“My baby girl wants to cum again?” He coos into your collarbone, the ticklish skim of his lips sending a shiver through you. ‘My baby girl.’ That one word has you shaking.

“Yes!” You wail as his hands tighten on your ass, palming the globes harshly to slam you down on his length. You can just imagine how sexy his arms look right now, the muscles and veins bulging in his forearms and hands from how tightly he holds you, his biceps and shoulders on full display and glimmering with perspiration. His voice rumbles against you in that thick Busan accent and you almost cream right there.

“Beg for it.” He looks up into your eyes and you see something dark, a heady lust that lowers his eyelids and makes you feel like you’re looking at the definition of sex itself.

“Please please please let me cum, baby!” Your voice shakes with each jolt of your body against his. “I’m so greedy for your cock, I wanna cum for you. You make me feel so good!” Pleased, Jimin gives you permission and moves a little faster, pressing you down against him so your clit rubs against him every time, and you nearly scream from the feeling. You sing your praises into the room knowing how it motivates him, but you couldn’t stop even if you tried. Skin slicked with sweat, you let yourself fall into another breathtaking high, clinging onto your boyfriend who grinds you on top of him to savor the way you clench and throb around his tip when it’s buried deep inside you.

“Fuck,” You both swear at the same time, taking a brief moment to catch your breath as Jimin kisses his way up your neck, releasing your legs and squeezing you close with his arms wrapped tight around your back. Exhaustion dances through you and you sit limply in his hold, eyes closed and basking in his sticky heat. But the moment is soon over when you feel him twitch within your sensitive walls, growling as he shifts his weight until your back is pressed into the mattress with him kneeling over you.

“Keep those eyes open, baby, I’m not done with you yet.” You gasp when his hips begin to move again, your nerves rubbed raw and swollen from the three highs he’s already pulled from you. Still, your eyes roll in delight when he starts ramming into you again, pushing your legs as far apart as they will go and holding you open. “You didn’t think I would let you off that easy, did you, princess? You still need to be punished for today.” He coos, voice gentle despite his hard thrusts. You whine loudly and attempt to close your legs when he touches a sweet spot deep within you, the pleasure almost too much, but it’s like you’re addicted to him, unable to get enough even when your body begs for reprieve. “Shhh, I know you can take it, baby. I know how much you love it when I overstimulate this greedy pussy, so be a good girl and take it.”

He’s absolutely correct, you love the overstimulation and the twinge of pain and overwhelming pleasure that comes with it. And you know this is his payback for the post-orgasm torture you gave him earlier. You’re still incredibly wet, new arousal dripping out of your entrance every time he plunges in, the mess of your juices and his precum dripping down the crack of your ass and onto your bedsheets. Looking up at Jimin’s face, you see how entranced he is by the sight before him, eyes trained between your legs as he watches himself disappear inside you and re-emerge with a new coating of slick covering his shaft. Smirking, you reach your hands down around your ass and pull your lips open wider for him, biting your lip at the way his eyebrows crease together and his mouth drops open at the sight. His pace slows slightly, his breathing labored as he begins to slowly unravel for you.

“Fuck, that’s so sexy! God, you always take my cock so well, princess.” He hisses, licking his full lips when your clit throbs at his praise. He can see and feel when you tighten, his tip finding that spot again that makes your back arch off the bed.

“Jimin,” You mewl, your thighs shaking in his grip and fingers clawing the sheets. Tears build in your beautiful eyes. It feels so good, but would you be able to handle a fourth orgasm tonight? Your body feels pushed to the limit, but your lover says otherwise.

“C’mon, baby girl, cum for me one more time.” You shake your head in desperation, pleading with him with your watery eyes. “Yes you can. Just relax for me, baby, I got you. I want you to cum one last time, just one more, and then I’m gonna fill you up.” He encourages softly, yet you don’t miss the dominant undertones that tell that this is a command. With a huff from his nostrils, he pounds into you harder while fighting off his own release, staying deep right up against that spot making you cry out. His hands reach for your breast and you place your hands over his for comfort, moaning as he squeezes the bouncing mounds as you toss your head back.

“I- I don’t think I can...” You whimper, unsure if you can get there with your nerves feeling numb and worn like this. But Park Jimin is nothing if not determined, so he takes your statement as a challenge. Slipping one hand away from you, he presses his thumb to your lips, staring down at you intensely before you open.

“Suck.” On command, you swirl your tongue around his digit, coating it in your spit before he slides it out with a pop. Suddenly, he’s pressing against your swollen clit in tight circles and those special tingles shoot up and down your spine at the feeling. He hums at the sounds you make, eyes sealed shut because of the blinding waves of bliss coursing through your veins, building you up almost frighteningly fast. He feels you pulse, your jelly legs trembling on either side of him as they attempt to close, but his praises fall on deaf ears as you chase the sensations of his skillful hips and fingers, rocking into him with the last of your energy until you reach the brink.

“Oh my god-!” You shudder and shriek as you finally tense up around him. Your walls clamp down repeatedly as Jimin continues flicking your sensitive nub, and the tears that had been welling up finally spill over. He stops only when your breathing turns to pitiful snivels, wiping away your tears with caring hands and loving eyes. His hips are still fucking you through the aftershocks as he kisses his way around your face, planting his lips firmly on yours until your breathing evens out.

“I’m gonna cum soon,” He whispers out, resting his forehead against yours. “Will you let me cum in this pretty little pussy, baby?” You nod against him, staring right into his coffee colored eyes. “Mm, I want you to keep it inside all night, okay princess? So I can fuck it out of you in the morning. Will you do that for me?”

“Fuck, yes.” You moan. You can feel the way he gets just a bit harder, how his muscles start to shake just slightly, and you know exactly how to push him over the edge. Your fingers lightly caress the velvety skin of his balls, causing a surprised moan to leave his lips. “I want your cum so bad, Jimin. I promise I’ll keep it inside, I’ll be a good girl for you. Please fill me up.” Knowing how much your words would affect him, you use your sweetest voice and lock your heels around his back. His head swims with desire and his voice strains.

Sitting up a bit, his hands clamp onto your hips to stroke into you in earnest, face contorted in the sexiest of expressions. You want to shy away from his intense gaze but you can’t pull your eyes away from him, drinking up the sight of his clenching abs, sweaty chest and neck, and the pure hunger that overtakes his features. “Good girl. Don’t move. Enjoy the feeling of my cum filling you up.” With a few more grunts and groans, he allows himself to release into you, shuddering almost as hard as you were from the feeling of the full orgasm he had been waiting for all day. Spurt after spurt of his release covers your walls, and your inner muscles suck it in as if on instinct, throbbing around him to milk every last drop. You let him collapse onto you as he finishes, cock still throbbing while he gasps and pants into the crook of your neck. You can feel it already starting to leak out around him, but he won’t be too upset about it since he’ll likely have fun fingering it back into you later.

There’s a comfortable silence as you both catch your breath, pressing sleepy kisses to each other’s damp skin with rosy cheeks and smiles on your faces. Jimin moves first, groaning when his muscles scream out in soreness when he sits at the side of the bed to pull on his boxers. You giggle, commenting about how you were supposed to be the one unable to walk, not the other way around. He snorts passing you a pair of panties and helping you stand so you can make it to the bathroom.

Once you’re both cleaned up, you get ready for bed, grumbling about having an early class tomorrow morning. Which reminds you of the homework quiz you took tonight. Opening your laptop again, you check your score, only to have your face drop at what you see.

“50 PERCENT?!” You whip around to face your boyfriend, who was back to reclining against the headboard, the scene similar to the beginning of your night. “You owe me for this, Jimin.”

He waves you off. “Those quizzes aren’t even worth that much, you’ll be fine.” But you disagree because you’ve already missed 2 of them and only the lowest 2 scores are dropped at the end of the semester. He rolls his eyes when you tell him this, cutting you off with a dramatic groan. “Babyyyyyy, stop talking about school and come to bed.” His pout is unmatched, so you easily relent and shut down your laptop, huffing and puffing the entire time.

“You owe me cuddles and breakfast tomorrow morning.” You grumble as you climb in next to him, fitting your body with his.

“And shower sex.” He winks at you and you snort, turning out the bedside lamp.

“Goodnight, Jimin.” You laugh, snuggling up to his chest in the quiet of your stuffy room.

...

“So no shower sex?”

[kyloswarstars]

ROOMMATES • Part 1

Divergent • College AU • Eric x Reader

ROOMMATES masterlist 💫 Divergent masterlist

You escaped your current living situation by moving in with your friend Christina – and five other college students. Little did you know that one of them was the guy who was your ultimate pain in the neck since your first semester. Now, you had to find a way to not strangle him in his sleep out of pure frustration. Also, you had to find a way to get rid of those weird butterfly feelings for him that slowly grew in your stomach.

Words • 2.4 k

The enemies to lovers story no one needed.

/////

It absolutely didn’t take you by surprise when your moving day turned out to be the hottest day of the year in Chicago. Not one single shadow spending cloud was to be seen, the temperatures felt like standing next to an actual volcano and your so called ‚friends‘ called off from helping one after one. It all got your blood boiling and made you want to throw your phone to the ground and stomp on it.

Instead you pushed it into the pocket of your pants, brushed some sweaty hair out of your face and continued unloading the first box out of the moving van you had rented.

Before you entered the building you would live in from today on, you took a good look at it. It was a rather spontaneous decision to move in. When you told your college friend, Christina, that your current living situation was very complicated, she offered you a free room in her apartment.

She was living with a lot of people. It would be eight people in total by tonight when you had moved in. For your liking, that was maybe a little bit too many roommates, but you rather took that, than live with your ex-boyfriend any longer.

You climbed up three flights of stairs and with each one the box in your hands got heavier. Knowing, that there were so many more boxes in the van that had to be brought up, made you want to sit down and have a beer already.

There was only one door on the third floor, which also appeared to be the last story of this building. That must be it. You rang the door bell and instantly heard some voices discuss about who would open the door.

A guy with some friendly eyes opened. „You must be Y/N!“ He stepped aside for you to enter the apartment. „I’m Uriah.“

„Are you on your own?“ You didn’t really get a proper chance to introduce yourself because Christina came rushing to Uriah’s side and gave you a brief hug, ignoring your sweaty body. She seemed truly offended by you being alone. Though, she was rather offended by your friends who weren’t there to help you even though they said they would.

You just shrugged and tried to take in the surroundings of your new home. Christina already told you that the apartment covered the whole story, therefore it had a lot of rooms that sheltered a lot of people.

It was a pretty opened concept. The big kitchen space flowed over into a living area and the other way around. Around the center piece, a huge dining table, were sitting three people, chatting the afternoon away. Christina and the guy, who had introduced himself as Uriah, joined the group again. She introduced you to Will, her boyfriend who you already knew from a lot of conversations, and the second couple in this apartment: Tris and Four.

„One roommate is missing, he’s… I don’t know where,“ said Christina and gestured for the remaining people to get up from their chairs. „Are we okay to help you with your stuff?“

She asked as if you had truly something to disagree with her offer. „You would be my life savers,“ you confessed. The help of your new roommates was genuine. The first bonding with them happened through carrying up your heavy boxes three flights of stairs, ranting over the heat and laughing about it because somehow you got along with them very well. Maybe after all the crap that had happened, this could be a good restart.

Christina offered to drive along with her car to the rental station and take you back to the apartment after dropping of the van. You didn’t have a car yourself and her offer was music in your ears. After that hot day and the physical exhaustion, you really didn’t want to ride your bicycle all the way from the rental place to your new home.

On your way back to the apartment, you asked Christina to stop at a pizza shop. You wanted to grab some dinner for your new roommates, and yourself, after they saved your ass with carrying your stuff all the way up to your new apartment.

When you placed the pizzas on the dining table, where everyone was still sitting at, every hesitation, if they had some at all about you moving in, was gone. Someone who brought pizza was very welcomed to move in.

Even though you were exhausted to your bones, the pizza gave you a small power boost, to continue with some more work after dinner. Before crashing on your mattress tonight, you wanted to unpack some of the stuff still. To your luck, Christina and Tris helped a little with your clothes and setting up a makeshift desk. At some point they left to go to bed. Way past midnight you felt your body giving out rapidly. You needed a shower. And sleep.

Right across from your room was the bathroom. There was still light in the hallway and you heard noises from the living area. The bathroom door was slightly open and you sleepily opened it completely to enter and shut it behind you.

The tiredness in your brain was suddenly gone when you faced a naked man getting out of the shower. You looked at him in shock and all you were able to say was: „What are you doing here?“

„What does it look like?“ He didn’t really hurry up to grab a towel and cover himself. There was too much time passing until a towel finally covered his lower half. Too much time for you to see, well, everything.

When the first shock subsided, you pulled yourself together, and looked at his face. This guy hadn’t been there all day. Still, you knew him.

„What are you doing here,“ you repeated your question in disbelief, this time with a small addition, though, „Eric?“

„I live here. What are you doing here?“

Fuck. No. Please not. „I guess we are roommates then,“ you stated in frustration.

„You are Christina’s friend moving in?“ He grabbed a second towel to dry his hair and looked at your from a weird angle. „Life’s just not fair to me.“

„Tell me about it.“

There you were. Standing in the small bathroom of your new apartment with Eric Coulter. Who lived here as well. You contemplated going back to the rental station immediately, get a van and remove your stuff before you unpacked completely. This was a nightmare. Since starting your first semester, Eric was the pain in your neck you were constantly clashing with. Whenever you started a constructive discussion about a topic, he was the one to drive you verbally crazy. There was no debate he missed and sometimes, you thought, he had taken it a personal mission to piss you off. Because even when he had the same opinion on something, he still had to prove you otherwise.

It had been dislike at first sight.

„Are you done in here then?“

„Why should I be?“ Eric’s discipline to make life more complicated for you was nothing you could deal with right now. Not after the day you had.

„Fine. Whatever,“ you mumbled. Instantly, you regretted opening the bathroom door – a shower had been so necessary – but dealing with Eric right now wasn’t worth it. The few steps across the hallway later, you stumbled over some of the boxes in your room, tripped and fell right on to your mattress. Grumbling, you turned around and saw Eric in the bathroom door inaudibly laughing at you. With your last energy, you slammed the door shut and collapsed back on the mattress. His stupid, grinning face was the last you had in mind before falling into a deep sleep.

/////

The next morning, after sleeping like a baby, you made sure to first take a glance into the bathroom before entering. No Eric. You locked the door, undressed and breathed out in relief when the water hit your skin. The warm water washed away all of yesterdays sweat, soaked your hair and made you feel like a human again.

The water temperature suddenly changed from hot to freezing. Hearing the toilet flush go off indicated why. You peaked out from behind the shower curtain and saw Eric readjust his boxer shorts.

„I locked the door!“ You whisper-screamed at him.

Eric went to wash his hands. At least you’re washing your hands, you thought. „I had to pee.“ He winked at you, left the bathroom and turned the lock into position again when he was back in the hallway. Great, not even a lock can keep him out.

With fresh clothes and still wet hair, you made your way for the kitchen. Your roommates were gathered at the huge dining table, Eric included, and had an awesome looking breakfast. It was ten on a Sunday morning, you didn’t expect all of them to be up yet.

Some ‚good mornings‘ welcomed you and assigned you the seat right across from Eric. Of course.

„How did you sleep?“ Christina poured you a coffee and tried to add milk and sugar but you were able to fetch it from here while it was still black.

„Good,“ you answered with a ‚thank you‘.

„This is Eric, by the way. The roommate you didn’t meet yesterday.“

Your glance went from her bright eyes to Eric, who stared at you like he had only now registered you sitting across from him. „We had the pleasure already,“ you stated and took a long sip, not breaking eye contact with him.

He was the first one to look away, which made you sink back in your chair with a winning grin on your lips.

During breakfast your roommates instructed you on how this living together worked. Who cleaned when and what, what team is when doing the weekly grocery haul and why you don’t flush the toilet when someone is taking a shower. When Uriah mentioned that, you turned your head to Eric and caught his glance. He didn’t seem to be impressed by your death stare.

Christina offered to help again with unpacking after breakfast. Still within the second she closed the door to your room, she popped the question. „Do you and Eric know each other?“

You groaned. „Kinda,“ you said as you turned to look at her. „Do you remember me constantly complaining about a guy in one of my classes who’s always driving me crazy?“

„That’s Eric?“ Christina’s face went blank and her jaw dropped. She flung the door open and entered, without knocking, the room next to yours – Eric’s room. You could hear his voice telling her to get out and knock the next time. Christina replied something but you couldn’t understand it. Was she telling him to stop his bullshit debates with you, now that you were living here? You couldn’t tell, even though you pressed an ear to the wall. They were both talking, but too quietly for you to understand a word.

You still wondered about that incident a week later. Christina just didn’t come back after bursting into Eric’s room. And he wasn’t to be seen ever since. Like he had just vanished. Which he didn’t because you could hear him come into his room late at night and leave it early in the mornings. Summer break meant he didn’t leave for classes and it bugged you that you even thought about this so much. You shouldn’t care. At all.

You did care.

„Chris?“ You knocked on hers and Will’s door. Will answered to ‚come in‘. You opened their door and only saw him laying on the floor in front of a fan. The heat was still very prominent. Instead of asking where Christina was, you asked him if he was fine.

„Totally fine. Just very hot.“

„Same,“ you replied, regretting it a little to not having asked Christina if there was air conditioning in the apartment before you moved in.

„Christina is out with Uriah. Doing the weekly grocery haul. Uriah jumped in for me,“ Will rolled around to lay on his stomach and looked at you with a dramatic expression on his face, „I just couldn’t. Too. Hot.“

With an amused smile you closed the door again and went to the kitchen to get some more water. Even though it was summer break, you still did a lot for college. There was a study you had engaged in and wanted to work on further. Sitting back down at your desk, you lost yourself in analysing the newest data that had come in.

You didn’t know for how long he stood there in silence until you noticed him. Eric leaned in your opened doorframe and observed what you were doing. You turned to him in your chair.

„Can I help you with something, Mr. Invisible?“ You really really wanted to know if you had done something wrong for him to disappear so completely from the apartment. Within the next second, all the exhausting memories of debates with him came back and you were feeling a little less guilty. Still, you wanted to know.

„Just wanted to let you know that, whatever Christina might have told you, is not true.“

„What’s that supposed to mean?“

„That it’s not true.“

„What is not true?“

„My reasons for always debating with you.“ Eric’s look was puzzled and he tried to understand the confusion on your face. Or his own confusion. Then his eyes widened a little. „Wait, she didn’t talk to you?“

„Talk to me about why you’re such a pain in my neck? No!“ You wished she would’ve. For the last week you had tried to question her about that incident but she always managed to change the topic. Wait… „What are those reasons?“

„There are no reasons. And if there are any,“ he grew uncomfortable, „they are just not true.“

„You confuse me,“ you stated.

„Great,“ Eric replied. „At least once I managed to do that after never being able to do so in our debates.“ He left. Just left and let you sit in your room with a thousand question marks in your head.

Christina wouldn’t get a single minute of peace when she got home. Not until she told you what had happened a week ago. Even if you had to kidnap her on your bike to a donut shop and sugar-shock her to get information. You would get information. That was for sure.

/////

to be continued

[highsviolets]

fire, but sweet: javier peña x reader

pairing: javier peña x f!reader (facetime javi au) 

summary: @obitwo requested i’m just thinking about javi tugging on my ponytail as a cute lil gesture and it’s making me way too soft hehe but also him pulling it to get Neck Access for Kisses™️

warnings: we are SOFT in this chili’s. none. 

a/n: i told claire it would publish this before midnight and I almost succeeded. **i know i am very behind on comments and i am so, so sorry. schools has been kicking my butt. the minute i turn in my last assignment on friday i am sitting down with a glass of whiskey  and responding to EVERY SINGLE ONE🥰** 

taglist form l series masterlist 

gif by @pvscvls​

It’s your turn to tackle linen duty this Sunday, having spent the past few hazy weekend afternoons at his while he irons shirts (the rare moments you’re not watching his lithe form from the couch, you’re in his tiny kitchen, meal prepping for you both. Lord knows the man doesn’t eat enough).

In-unit washer-and-dryer units are hard to come by in L.A., but somehow, when you had been searching for a new apartment a while back, this one had fallen into your lap. You suspected it had something to do with a client who was rather grateful about the press buzz about following their dazzling appearance at the Oscars, and when you had told Javi that on your second — third? — dinner date, he laughed, a rare moment of unrestrained joy springing forth from a deep-seated and virtuous hope.

“Is that so, baby?” he had asked, head tilting slightly as he regarded you from across the table. “You’re just one of those people that everyone else absolutely adores despite your best efforts; is that what you’re trying to tell me?” Fringes of dark hair curled around his forehead, wilting in the oppressive heat, but the chocolate eyes hidden behind those ridiculous amber-toned aviators didn’t waver, even as a smirk pouted his lips.

You kicked him under the table, looking away in the process. No, no no, you protested, fuck all that good girl shit, you know?

And Javier had smiled and sipped his drink, thinking all the while that he had never seen anyone as goddamn perfect as you.

—

Now, though, it’s a delicate, daffodil-laden spring, gaudy pops of color peeking through the gray skies — that delicate interposition between spring and summer, where everyone’s holding their breath for life to begin again. Indecisiveness splits the atmosphere, and you’re no stranger to its sway, swiping open your phone to switch from a podcast to your favorite playlist as you continue folding laundry. Heaps of cotton and spandex and dozens of other fabrics find themselves attended to with care and piled on top of the washer as you sing along softly, gently swaying in time with the beat. Javier’s in your bedroom, you know, assembling the new bookshelf you had ordered online from IKEA.

But your voice carries easily in the small space, and soon Javier finds himself raising his head in  unobtrusive, lingering wonder, grace stealing his breath for just a heartbeat (he surely doesn’t need it then, sustained by the way your voice wraps around a space for living and breathes into it the essential ingredients of vivacity in such a way that it stretches itself in utter luxuriousness).

It compels him forward, the simplicity driving him to abandon the mess of screws and boards littered on the floor and to seek you out instead. Your mysterious existence is far more important than material things, he feels, without possessing the words to explain such a phenomena.

And yet he feels it all the same (words exist to explain that which is already real, after all), and it only intensifies as he comes to lean against the doorjamb, watching you work and letting your voice wash over him like a tonic.

For several long moments he is content to bask in your presence, in the waves of life that emanate from the small space. But suddenly the mood shifts, fracturing under the weight of observance. Cracks form fissures that travel upwards into his spine, integrating themselves into his neuropathways and telling him that it’s not enough.

Watching isn’t enough; it’s too placid, too based in him and not enough in all that you are. Javier needs to confirm that you’re real — he requires the roughness of you under his own skin, your ridges and dips and valleys, to chart your cartography. And despite the weight of the moment — the moment he realizes that oh, god, he thinks he might be in — there’s a playfulness easing the load, replacing the gravitas with one of joy, not fear.

So he does what he believes he should have done far earlier and strides forward, the music masking his heavy footsteps, to stand just close enough to reach out. And reach out he does, his hand extending forward to wrap thick fingers around the latent strands of your messy ponytail and tugging slightly. Not enough to hurt, just enough to say hey you; i see you.

Your reaction does not disappoint, dropping whatever it is you’re now folding, hips shifting in order to pivot and slap his chest. He’s too quick, though, hands dropping away from your hair and gripping your hips, locking you in place. “You know,” Javi whispers, “you’re pretty cute when you do that.” It’s inadequate at best, but oh, he prays you can understand why his voice is low and smooth, crushed velvet to your silk.

It seems you do, leaning back into his embrace with a small hum. “I’m glad you do. My high school choir teacher didn’t think so.”

Javi’s laugh is warm against your neck as he brushes the hair aside and begins dropping open-mouthed kisses to the skin there. His left hand travels upwards, skimming your sides, to gently pull away your t-shirt, and you tilt your head back onto his shoulder to give him more access. When you hitch your breath at his continued assault on your sensitive skin, Javi ignores you, continuing to press kisses on any hint of bare skin he can reach. His mustache tickles sometime, as does his unruly hair, but you lean into the sensation, finding it comforting after all these months of learning how to love it.

They’re leisurely kisses, warm ones that feel like home. it’s an act for its own sake, an aristotelian method of the good, if you will. Simply there to exist. Much like the way you have taught him to exist through long nights and FaceTime calls at all hours of the day and shared grocery runs to make he eats and the way he carries you after work events, feet too tired after being in heels all day or now, spending a Sunday afternoon building a bookshelf instead of poring over work.

“Feels good, Javier,” you mumble, eyes drifting close in the security of all he is to you, but especially in this moment in your apartment, doing laundry on a Sunday afternoon. “Thank you.”

No, you think you hear him whisper against your skin, one hand still wrapped around your hip, thank you, cariña.

javi tags! @frannyzooey @littlevodika @a-seeker-of-imagination @catsnkooks @goldenkenobi @teaofpeach @goldafterglow @the-purity-pen @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @justrunamok @mitchi-c @huliabitch @yespolkadotkitty @rzrcrst @justanotherblonde23 @themarvelousbear @wille-zarr @ladytrashbird @tastefulmisunderstanding @blancatobarxoxo @chogisss @keeper0fthestars @stardust-galaxies @mcu-padawan @anakin-danvers @rentskenobi @artsymaddie @princessxkenobi @dracos-jedi-marvel @thirstworldproblemss @lv7867 @thewayofthemandalorian  @cri-me-a-river **let me know if you want to be switched around!! **

[banditthewriter]

Whatever It Takes - 6 - Billy Russo

Here goes part six! Hope you like it.

Tags are at the bottom. Let me know if you would like to be added to one of my tag lists! Enjoy!

*****

The night that Billy came over with ice cream, he ended up crashing on your couch. You offered him your guest room but he must have fallen asleep before he'd gotten the chance to go up the stairs. You woke up to find him still there the next morning. You hovered a bit before you forced yourself to go into the kitchen and start some coffee.

Since that night, the two of you got together a few more times. Dinner or lunch, coffee once or twice. Each time had the two of you laughing and joking, at ease and content with each other. It hadn’t been like this before when the two of you were more acquaintances than actual friends, but things had changed.

In the week or so that followed neither of you had any events to go to but it didn't stop you from seeing each other. You were amazed at the easy way the two of you seemed to fit together.

It felt natural and was also the biggest disaster you'd ever faced. The longer you both went without a reason for your fake dating, the harder it was to pretend you weren't falling for him. It wasn’t just a surface attraction, a crush you could ignore. No, now it was more.

Billy was someone you respected and someone you trusted. He slowly became more and more important to you until you found yourself wanting to see him every day.

The one way you found to distract yourself was to throw yourself into your work. And once work slowed down and you couldn’t find enough to distract you there, you focused on the charity. Marcia was impressed with your work and your diligence so it seemed that Billy was helping even if he didn’t know it.

About a month into the fake relationship, a courier dropped off a packet of papers for the charity. The first few pages were about the day to day numbers, groceries and utilities. All of this was already covered by the various sponsors so you flipped to the next page. That one held a list of donations from the opening.

Most of the donations were as expected and ranged from a few hundred to one thousand dollars. There was one or two larger donations that were signed by the people you had enticed to the opening.

Then there was an anonymous donation of five grand that made you freeze. It was more than any of the other donations on their own. While the donation was technically anonymous, that just meant they couldn’t be publicized. You flipped to the last pages where there were scanned copies of each check.

It wasn’t like you were being nosy. It was your job to write thank you notes.

There on the last page was the check. The handwriting wasn’t what you’d call familiar, but the name definitely was.

Billy. He’d donated five thousand dollars to Safe Harbor House.

You knew about his past in the system, at least part of it. And while you also knew that he hadn’t wanted to go to the opening when he found out what it was, he had done it for you. You could still remember the vulnerable look in his eyes when you told him about your own past in the system.

While you still had to write a thank you note, at least you wouldn’t have to spend money on postage. You could hand this one to him directly.

When you did give it to him later that same day, he didn’t seem too surprised.

“I knew that it wasn’t one hundred percent anonymous since I signed my own check, but I didn’t realize you’d find out this soon.”

You shrugged your shoulder as you tried to focus on the food on your plate.

“I probably wouldn’t have but I was assigned to write the thank you notes for donations since I helped spearhead the whole thing. But I’m sure if someone else would have seen it, I would have gotten a phone call. You are my fake boyfriend after all.”

A glance from the corner of your eye showed that Billy didn’t react to that at all. You closed your eyes for a second and then moved on.

“How was your day?”

He sighed and leaned forward to grab his beer.

“Fucking nightmare. Got a lot of pressure at the office and it doesn’t seem to be letting up. Might be working long hours for a while, by the way,” he added before he drained the last of his drink. “If something comes up that I need to make an appearance at, you might wanna give me at least a week heads up.”

You told him that you could do that, especially since you couldn’t think of anything he’d need to be present for. But the tension in his shoulders and in his voice made you reach out to cover his hand with yours.

“If you need anything, even just to talk, I’m here for you. You know that, right?”

He looked over at you, his dark eyes moving from your hand on his to your face. His stare was intense. Then he smiled and gave you a quick nod.

“I appreciate it.”

With a quick squeeze, you released his hand and reached out to grab your own drink. Something told you that he had been looking for something on your face just then.

You just wished you knew if he found it or not.

------

The sound of your doorbell made you look up from the article you were reading on your tablet. It was early in the morning on a Sunday and you weren’t expecting anyone. Billy had been busy the night before but he had sent a text almost at midnight to say that he would probably sleep in.

The two of you had started having breakfast together on Sundays. You didn’t mind that he cancelled because like he had said the week before, you knew he was going to be busy.

Had he changed his mind?

Excited at the possibility of getting a surprise visit from Billy, you left the comfort of your recliner and headed to the door. You didn’t even think to check the peephole before you unlocked the door and opened it.

Surprised wasn’t the word for how you felt just then.

“Hey Y/N, been a while.”

Connor was dressed casually which for him meant khakis and a button up shirt. In the back of your head you could register that he looked good, but there was nothing there as you looked at him anymore. No attraction, no interest, no pain.

That last part was new. You thought you’d hurt because of him for a while longer.

“What are you doing here?”

He looked surprised that you didn’t invite him in. Instead you crossed your arms and gave him a distinctly uninterested look. You hoped he’d get the message, but subtly was lost on him.

“I’ve been giving it a lot of thought and I think we should get back together.” When all you did was blink at him in shock, he held a hand up and continued to talk. “I know that it was my idea to end things and I know I didn’t handle that well, but I really wanna try this time.”

You wanted to laugh. You even let out a short giggle before you covered your mouth. His eyes widened and he tried to smile, but your continued mirth seemed to unsettle him.

“Sorry, it’s just that this is ridiculous. No, really, you’re hilarious right now, but the joke's over. You can leave now.”

Connor shook his head and took a step forward. His hand came out and grasped your wrist. He tugged on it until you stumbled forward a bit.

“You should take me seriously. I mean it,” he said in a low voice, one that was more threatening than imploring, “I want you back. This thing you have with Russo, it’s just a rebound and everyone knows it. I want to be with you and I want to change for you.”

That made your skin crawl for some reason. You tugged on your wrist until he finally released you. Even though you were free, he stepped forward to compensate. It meant his foot was in your doorway and if you tried to shut the door, he’d be able to stop it.

“Let me say this in small words so that you can understand,” you said with a glare, “I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. We are over and that’s never going to change. As for what Billy and I have? It’s absolutely none of your business.”

His face slowly filled with anger until there was nothing but rage. It contorted his features to the point of him being almost unrecognizable.

“You’re a fucking idiot,” he spat in distaste. “There’s no one better than me and you know that. You and Russo are pathetic so you deserve each other.”

He turned to leave, marching down your stairs. On the sidewalk he turned back around to face you once more, his voice stopping you as you started to shut the door.

“You better get checked for diseases though. Pretty boy is fucking a Homeland Security agent behind your back.”

The words stung. Your throat felt dry as you shut your door and locked it. Was it just your imagination or were you dizzy?

He was just saying that. He didn’t have any proof. He just wanted to hurt you since you turned him down.

But if there was one thing you knew about Connor, it was that he wasn’t that creative. If he’d just said that Billy was probably cheating on you, that’d be one thing. But to be as specific to list a Homeland Security agent?

You didn’t want to believe it. It was the one thing you had asked when the two of you made this deal; for him not to sleep around and ruin the fake relationship. At least not get caught at it. He had said it wouldn’t be a problem and you believed him.

It wasn’t like you could blame him for seeking that out. If he’d slept with her and it had stayed in the dark, that would have been fine. But for him to be obvious enough to be caught? And caught by Connor of all people?

That didn’t even take into effect the pain that you were feeling from the idea of Billy sleeping with someone else. It was just a fake relationship but your feelings were real. You didn’t want to think about Billy sleeping with other women when all you wanted was…

No. You wouldn’t go down this rabbit hole. You wouldn’t let Connor send you through a paranoid spiral. He did the same when the two of you were together, making you think you were insane for believing he might cheat on you. This was the same thing, only in the opposite direction.

You pulled your phone from your pocket and opened up a text to Billy. He might not be awake, but you could still send him a text, right?

Your fingers hesitated over the keypad before you locked the phone and put it back in your pocket.

It wasn’t like you could tell him that he couldn’t sleep with someone. It wasn’t like the relationship was real. Billy wasn’t yours.

This could come back to bite you on the ass, but you’d accepted that when you agreed to do it. You’d just have to see what happens next.

X

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[spiderman-homecomeme]

Ahhhhh I love your Drabble games!! Okay situation: college au sentence: look at me are you sure you’re alright. Yeah I’m in uni struggling so I’d love a college au to make me feel better😂

Ahhhh thank you friend!! 

OOF i feel the college struggle lmao here you go fam, hope you enjoy!!

Situation: 21. College AU

Sentence: 3. “Look me in the eye; are you sure you’re alright?”

-

10:02 PM.

The numbers stared right back up at her.

Taunting, menacing.  

Vaguely threatening.

It was official; she had less than two hours to get this stupid, dumb paper that she was supposed to be working on all week but instead spent a majority of her time with other assignments turned in. MJ wasn’t normally one for procrastination; she liked to think of herself as a relatively organized person. See, midterms were next week, and her professors thought it would be nice to make all the big projects and papers due the week before, to help alleviate some of that good old collegiate stress. 

But, nice as the thought was, it doesn’t really help when literally all of her professors decide to do that. 

Which left her with two exams to study for, two papers, and one group project. All happening within the same three days.

And now, she has two hours.

Two hours to bullshit her way through one of those papers, through ten pages all about the absolutely riveting life (note: sarcasm) of Christopher Marlowe. 

And it really shouldn’t have been that hard. Writing papers had always been something that came incredibly easy to her; she honestly could probably do one in her sleep. 

But right now, right at that moment, her eyes burning from staring at the computer screen for hours on end, her hands cramping from all of the furious typing, it’s a little more difficult. 

“MJ.”

Peter’s voice startles her out of her zombie-like trance, the clacking on her keyboard stopping abruptly. Her head jerks in his direction, eyes wide. “Hmm?”

“Hey.” He looks at her for a moment, brows pinching together as he gives her a brief once over. “You good?”

She scoffs, moving to take a sip of her tea. “Yeah, I’m good. What makes you think I’m not?”

“There’s nothing in there,” he says simply, cautiously, gesturing to the mug in her hand. “You finished it thirty minutes ago.”

Oh.

Her lips quirk into a dissatisfied frown. 

“MJ,” He says again, grabbing her attention. “Look me in the eye; are you sure you’re alright?”

No matter what, Peter never fails to make her heart do some funny things, especially when he’s looking at the way he is right now. 

And it’s that concerned, worried puppy-esque look that compels her to tell the truth. 

“Honestly? No,” she half-laughs. “I have a test in brit lit on Wednesday, and one for stats that I still need to study for. I have this stupid group project for public speaking, and no one in my group seems to know what the fuck they’re doing. And Zeke from Lambda Theta Pi can’t ever meet because he’s got ‘brotherhood’ events every night this week and chapter on Sunday–apparently academics aren’t an excuse?–and doesn’t wanna get fined for missing them.” She barely takes a second to breathe, only rambling faster. “And–and–and I have two papers. One of them? No idea when it’s due. I’ve asked for a course calendar three times, in class. Over email. Dr. Vincent hasn’t even posted any kind of description of the assignment. Just mentioned that we need to be working on it. So no idea what I’m doing there. And finally, I have this paper, the one for Dr. Partenheimer, due at midnight, so please, Peter, I love you, but I gotta get this done, and I really need to focus.”

Peter’s remained silent throughout her rant, nodding every once in a while when he deemed appropriate. 

At his lack of response, she goes back to her computer screen, letting out a tense breath as she starts typing again. 

Suddenly, Peter’s face scrunches. “Wait, you mean the paper for Partenheimer… the one due Tuesday?”

“Uh, yeah. Today. So…”

A beat passes.

“MJ?”

She almost rolls her eyes, but fights the urge. “What?”

“…Today’s Monday.”

[robbiwrites717]

Master list of my Davekat fic recs.( SFW LIST HERE ) I wanted to include my thoughts about each fic but it’s been well over a year since I read most of them and it would have been exhausting to read back through all of them so i just included the authors’ summaries instead. I have major respect for every fic and author on this list, seriously they’re amazing <3 Happy Reading !

All I Know Are Sad Songs - by ayyyy(RosaAquafire) - Alpha TImeline - Ch 36/?-  122731 words

The world is ending. Dave Strider can't tell if the bender he's on is because of that, or because of how bad stuff is fucked up with Rose, or just because his own bullshit has finally caught up to him. All he knows is that if the world DOES end today, maybe that wouldn't be the worst thing.Of course, he can't throw in the towel. His fate is already written. He raises a resistance. He duels the false presidents. He stands against the Empress herself. So maybe that's why Skaia allows a glitch that carries a consciousness across sessions that might save Dave's shitty life. (this is the only fic I’ll put my own notes on because it is absolutely and unequivocally my favorite fic ever. I almost didn’t read it because of the tags but the author handles every issue so seriously and beautifully, I can not stess enough how amazing this fic is!!!)

A wish upon a fountain or a falling start - by twofoldaxiom - Fantasy AU - Ch 25/25 - 51379 words

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you fell from the sky.You hadn't meant to; you were trying to make a wish by catching a fallen star by the tail. The star turned out to be stronger than you. Now, on Earth, alone and unsure of yourself, what can you do except find someone who might believe? And what do you do when you yourself start to question?

a fever you’re learning to live with - by callmearcturus - post sburb/sgrub - Ch 1/1 - 3974 words 

This feels like winning. You are learning to live with the feeling more and more, like building up a poison resistance.

A Stunning Tour De Force - by Rag - Earth C - Ch 1/1 - 5101 words

"A triumph."

-Dave Strider, about getting his dick sucked for the first time

All I Can Taste Is The Sugar In Your Hair - by LandofMistandSecrets - Earth C - Ch 1/1 - 13614

Trickster Dave is a god damn treasure and no one can tell me otherwise.Some scenes from the Rosemary wedding, but really, this is about Dave being high on cherub candy and really, really, really wanting his boyfriend to fuck him. (Not intended to be dubcon, but if you have issues with altered mental states or pushy partners in the context of an established relationship it might be not great for you! Take care.)

Alternia Shuffle - by Essynkardi & twofoldaxiom - 1950s/detective AU- Ch 2/? - 4646 words

Your name is Dave Strider, and you're a twenty-six year old detective working for the Alternia City Police Department as senior officer Pyrope's partner and occasional chewtoy. It's already a messy job, but it gets messier when you end up the sole witness to an assassination during an art exhibit.Now you have to simultaneously cover your ass and uncover all the clues to find out who did it and who could be next, and things only get more complicated when you have to face a few things you've been covering up yourself.

Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Guy With Slightly More Self-Esteem - by LandofMistandSecrets - Earth C- Ch 1/1 - 7347 words 

Dave is really attracted to his boyfriend, and determined to prove it.

Believe M When I Say Fuck - by Rag - earth c - Ch 1/1 - 4997 words

karkat goes and fucks himself

By the Letter (of the law) -  by Asuka Kureru(Askerian) - Ch 4/4 - 10582 words 

"No, but answer me this, do you want to invalidate this whole farce of a legal and religious joining of blah-di-fucking-blah? Because I have looked at your laws and if we don't consummate the union it's not valid!"

Anonymous asked: Davekat. Arranged marriage! The first time they are alone together is on their wedding night.

Now with actual sex, woo! Also several pages of Karkat and Dave being the dorkiest knights ever knighted.

Dave Strider Has Abs - by Miriage - High School AU (not explicit but i forgot to put it on my sfw list :/)

"Your name is Karkat Vantas and you’re mad.You’re really really really fucking mad.You’re mad because Dave-fucking-Strider has abs.Has serious abs.Has abs that you could grate shit on.Has abs that would make girls fall over and die.Has abs that gay men would weep for."

Dive in Deeper - by carnivorousBelvedere - Vacation AU - Ch 4/7 - 8298

Karkat is going on vacation during his birthday with Rose and Kanaya. They gift him a scuba certification class.The catch?Dave is taking it with him.

egg pun - by Rag - earth c - Ch 1/1 - 4518 words

dave and karkat explore the magical world of eggs

Flight Recorder From Viking 7 - by Royalrastafariannaynays - Space/Future/Pilots AU - Ch 7/7 - 31136 words

Dave Strider is a way-too-lonely transport pilot assigned to a high-pay low-stakes mission over the Christmas holiday. He's got a blistering hangover, a conscience full of nightmares, and an angry copilot. All he needs now is a nice bout of feeling worthless and-- well would ya look at that, he's got that, too. Time for takeoff, Houston, the water's just fine.Or: In which Dave Strider discovers a modicum of self worth while stuck on a trip through foreign space, with a short, irritable, and annoyingly attractive troll as his only conversational partner for the next two weeks.

Helter Skelter - by HexMeridan(myrainbowshoelaces) - post sburb-sgrub - Ch 1/1 - 6281 words

Dave gets a visit from Future Dave, and between the two of them, they give Karkat the night of his life. Over and over again.

Hit the Deck: A davekat fic- by awkwardfawn - restaurant AU - Ch 15/? - 68875 words

I present a story in which Karkat works at a restaurant where you're supposed to be rude to the customers. It's sort of the gimmick there. Normally he can handle what he's given at work and give it right back, but this just might be the straw that breaks the load. Little does our kitkat know that Dave can dish the shit better than anyone out there. Sarcastic adult boys will be sarcastic. I hope this will be as slow burning as I want it to be, but then again it probably won't.

Inveterate - by Rag - earth C - Ch 1/1 - 4441 words 

dave and karkat try bdsm

it goes well until it doesnt

Just A Thing We Do - by LandofMistandSecrets - Earth C - Ch 1/1 - 14941 words 

“Apparently, you inspired him to try initiating amorous… activities… over these stupid devices!” Karkat waved his phone at him, punctuating the accusation. “Do you actually just casually proposition Dirk while he’s busy with other people?!”Jake shot him a wide-eyed look, freezing halfway through shoveling a handful of popcorn in his mouth. He slowly lowered his hand, blinking rapidly, eyebrows furrowing behind his glasses. “I -- well, what’s that to any of you, exactly?”(Or, as I have been calling it, The DaveKat Sexting Fic. ENJOY)

Love Bites - by notwest - earth c - Ch 1/1 - 2366

What if hickeys were the first mark on Dave's body he liked?

Midnight on the Demon Patrol - by Asuka Kureru(Askerian) - Ch 30/? - 233688 words

Fighting fire with fire is okay in theory but Detective-Summoner Dave L. Strider figures trying to summon corporeal demons to the mortal plane to fight other demons is likely to backfire spectacularly. Sadly for him his inner Knight gets the vapors at the thought of letting anyone else play guinea pig.Yup, he is totally hogging the demon. What could go wrong? (Oh no, Dave, why did you have to think that.)

Red Converse - by MageofHeart - Humanstuck AU - Ch 16/16 - 26648 words

Due to a seizure, Karkat Vantas now has to learn how to live his life with two speech aphasia. He goes to therapy three times a week, suffers from awful headaches, and tries to avoid people as much as possible.Due to a traumatic experience, Dave Strider refuses to use his words, preferring to relay his snarky comments and witty banter through sign language and typing on his phone.They meet in a waiting room.

Sugar and Spice - by Dawngyocry - Humanstuck/Coming of Age Fic - Ch 2/2 - 44734 words

You remember the first time you really realized you were fucked up.You were five. First year of kindergarten, miserable as all fuck. The teacher told the boys to line up on one side of the room and the girls on the other. You don't even remember why. You just remember the result.

Sunday Morning - Nomisupernova - earth c - Ch 1/1 - 3561 words

“Hey Dave?” You rest your arm at your side, his hand finds yours and he entwines his fingers with yours. His ring clinks against your ring and it makes your heart skip a beat to think about it.He looks at you, blinking sleepily, “Yes Karkat?”“I love you.”He laughs softly, a beautiful sound to your ears, “I love you too, Kar.”

The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway - by ectoBisexual - ski lodge AU - Ch 1/1 - 4128 words

During a trip to a ski lodge with their friends, Dave and Karkat end up stuck in an elevator. It sucks, but it's not the worst thing in the world. Until the power goes out and it starts to get really, really cold.

The Eurydice Suite - by callmearcturus - post sburb/sgrub - Ch 15/15 - 97103 words

Dream-sharing. A highly illegal little industry in which agents delve into people's dreams and unearth their deepest secrets and memories. And the Strider-Lalondes are the best in the business.Until Dirk Strider gets his fool ass trapped within the confines of his own subconscious, with his Auto-Responder playing malicious prison warden. To save him, it's going to take a team of the world's most talented dreamers to save him.Backed by the token rich friend, lead by the surliest extractor ever bribed out of retirement, haunted by the shade of the l8est and gr8est agent 

The Finer Points Of Plantsitting - by LandofMistandSecrets - Earth C - Ch 1/1 - 9323 words 

Jade & Davepeta are taking off on a presumably romantic weekend retreat. Dave and Karkat are left in charge of the plants.It's just one weekend. There's no way this goes wrong.Or, uh. Gets weird. Right???

The Sex Number - by ayyyy(RosaAquafire - earth c = Ch 1/1 - 3788 words

CG: IS OR IS THERE NOT ANY SOCIETAL OR CULTURAL SIGNIFICANCE TO THE NUMBER 69?

TT: Ah, yes.

TT: The sex number.

TT: This is where I slowly wink.

CG: OH, CHRIST. 

What To Do When You See Your Best Bro Naked - by Miriage - College/female kk AU - Ch 2/2 - 7464 words

"Still, when you walked out of the bathroom with a towel around your waist and a smaller one ruffling your black hair, you weren’t expecting him to be there and he wasn’t expecting you to be wearing sans almost nothing."A story in which Dave Strider falls in love after he sees Karkat Vantas naked.(Also, Karkat has AA boobs and Dave is into it.) 

[sitinthelight]

Well Zach is in his hometown for a few days and I’m in this weird restless mood while being super tired at the exact same time. 

I want to go drinking and I want to dance. Actually, I mostly just want to dance.  I want to be happy and so fucking giddy that I’m out of my mind and care free and just be in that moment when nothing matters so I’m going to have a good time.

Do you ever have a conversation and you realize hmmm, I probably shouldn’t have said that because now it’s weird? I mean, that’s kind of every extended conversation I have with anyone but still.

I kind of want to punch myself in the face (((: but at the same time, I want to go dancing, so? 

I am not going to beat myself up over this! I refuse to! You know, I have gotten so much better about feeling guilty over everything! And I was being vulnerable! So bonus points, right? 

Anyway, I’m friends with my ex. I guess we’ve become good friends in the past several months. He asked me if I still was planning to move to Charlotte and of course my whole situation is convoluted (in my mind) so I was like, can I explain it to you over skye because I didn’t feel like talking about it through text. 

Jesus, I have no idea how anyone deals with me and talking to me because words don’t come out of my mouth correctly? Like in my head I’m just like this is what I will say! But when it comes out of my mouth it’s like scrabble with words. Have fun rearranging my sentence and guessing what I’m trying to say! AND I SAID NOT TO BEAT MYSELF UP. I will learn how to talk to people one day, I swear. 

SO, we’re skyping and he finally gets me to start talking about the situation at hand and I’m explaining the developments in some sort of way and telling him my options. I then proceed to kind of casually mention my hesitation of moving to a new place with Zach because I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be with him. AND boy oh boy oh boy, why did I mention that? To my ex. 

Granted, he took it well. He is probably used to my awkwardness by now so I’m guessing that helps and he was very nice and understanding about it and didn’t ask any further questions and I don’t even remember what I said after that.

But I’m kind of mortified. 

Btw, I was finally emailed the new leasing terms for my apartment as this current lease ends in July. The new rent will be nearly $1000 and I’m just in shock that they put it up that high out of seemingly no where? With no justification. This is a nice place, I have been very fortunate to have been able to live here for the past 2 years but fuck that. I’m going to start paying my own rent in July and I’m not spending that much money on rent in fucking Winston Salem. Literally, the only other apartments in this area that are that expensive are the fancy luxury ones downtown. 

Is $1000 a month normal in other cities or even considered a steal for a 2 bedroom 2 bath? Oh absolutely, but this is Winston Salem. I was told that the price I’ve been paying this past year was way too high but this extra $150 is just head-scratching. How? Why? What on earth. I know Charlotte is worse but like, this isn’t Charlotte. 

Yikes can I go on a tangent. Anywayyyyy, yes. I am mortified. Yep yep yep yep yep. Always saying a little toooooo much to people who don’t really need to know that much. Is he a good friend? yes. But he is also my ex and he doesn’t need shit like that dumped on him as I’m sure he has his own problems to deal with.

But it’s been done. It has been said. He was nice about it! I will let this feeling happen for as long as it needs to and then I will resume normal business. I will apologize in the morning and it will be fine. He’ll be cool about it like he always is.

However, there is some adrenaline in my system right now. Like, my mind is going wwwoooooosh all over the place. 

I always used to be on my toes around my ex, even during the month and a half we dated. Even during everything that happened after that. He gave me soooo much social anxiety. I once held my pee in for like 4 hours hanging out with him because I was too afraid to move or say I had to go to the bathroom. But Jesus, I reallyyyyy liked him and I wanted to get to know him better and whelp, it’s several years later and I finally am getting over my social anxiety with him. Talking to him regularly has definitely helped. 

Honestly, my social anxiety hasn’t been bad lately. I’m still reluctant to make phone calls, except at work. I’m doing so much better with calling people at work. That used to be my most hated task at the bookstore. I hated calling customers to give them bad news about their orders. I always tried to send out emails instead. 

But I’ve been chatty with my coworkers and trying to establish “bonds” with them. Dave and Busters opened in the mall so I’m trying to slowly and low-key convince my coworker to go with me. She’s pretty cool. We actually have a lot in common but sadly we are both awkward introverts so it’s taken a year of working with each other to finally figure that out. 

The coworker I really wanted to be friends with quit. I feel like we could have been pretty good friends because we have SO much in common and she definitely tried getting to know me on multiple occasions but my personality can be so unforgiving. I act uninterested in fear of being overly interested and IT IS FUCKING GREAT ((((((:

It’s also very possible that I may have had a tiny crush on her. Not like an OMG I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS PERSON type of crush.  More like, she’s cute and quirky and I really think she’s cool but I have a boyfriend so these thoughts will stay subdued. 

But I haven’t really felt socially anxious lately? And that’s been great. It makes my world a smidge more easier. Depression though? Still here. Always lurking. Always waiting for a moment to strike. The nice weather helps so much though. I’m still weighing pros and cons of medication and therapy in my current situation. I definitely want to put a lot more research and thought into it before I make any decisions. I just know that I want to be on some proper treatment path before seasonal depression hits again. 

You know, I have the day off tomorrow. Originally I was going to stay in for most of the day. I was going to leave to pick up a package from the front office (because I bought the most  “me” shoes ever”), but now I’m debating actually going out and doing something. 

I kind of want to go downtown. That’s so far been my favorite part of this city. There is a brewery/bar that makes an amazing vegetarian burger and though I’m not vegetarian, it’s a fucking amazing burger. Right next to that brewery is a really cool store that sells local items and they have a huge selection of vintage clothes! I walked in out of curiosity a few weeks ago and fell in love with the atmosphere and just the general vibe of the place. 

I’m now considering this because I just got an email (who sends emails after midnight?) from the metaphysical store downtown. There is apparently going to be a flash sale and while I don’t need new crystals, they had some really cool ones last time I was in there and hey, maybe this is the time to pick some new ones up. 

This is all just a late night and too tired to be alive fever dream though. Honestly, I’ll probably just stay in but one of these days, I’ll do something fun. When I finally get this driving thing down, I’ll have as many fun days as I want because it just sounds like a hassle getting an uber there and back and walking around downtown (which is huge and not every street is entirely safe) by myself. Like the crystal store. It’s really only a ten minute walk but I’m a chicken, okay? I’ve never dealt with so many creeps in my life in any other city as I have here. Did that sentence even make sense? Probably not, I don’t care. 

BUT I MIGHT SEE SUPERORGANISM SUNDAY. SO THAT WILL BE FUN.

I’m really hoping Zach will be up for it. I’m praying he will be. I really really really want to go. I’ve become so fond of this band. I’d be so happy to see them live. Also the venue is in a former mid-century car dealership so I’m dying to see it. Zach is the only person whose been around me often enough to know this but I LOVE mid-century modern design and architecture. 

I also want a reason to wear fun make up and dress up. Like, this is an excuse to use crazy eyeshadow and glitter because the band is fairly eccentric. 

We’ll see though. Zach was supposed to be driving back Saturday evening but his dad bought tickets to see some musician (Bob...S...something) in Virginia for Saturday evening so he’ll be driving back Sunday morning instead :/ It’s like a 4 hour drive from there to here so I don’t know if he’ll have the energy or motivation to drive 1.5 hours to Durham for a band he is only mildly interested in. 

I really should just stay in tomorrow though. I could really use the time to answer the essay questions for my application for school and answer back to the advisor (that they already assigned me?). He just wants to go over the program details with me because it is a bit rigorous. I’m up for the challenge though. I need something productive to occupy my time with and I’ve had a good break these past 2 years.

[hollyhomburg]

Without You (I Can’t Breath) (Reader x Hoseok)

Hoseok thinks that home is a place you can plot on a map. But he realizes that living by himself is lonely. he gets a new place and puts out an ad for a roommate- What he doesn't expect is you- someone who has no knowledge of BTS- and he’ll do anything to keep it that way. 

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader 

tags: Domestic love, lonely!Hoseok, roommates for lovers aU, secrets, mild angst, sooooo much fluff, literally I gagged while writing this several times. implied smut. Hurt/Comfort

A/N: I wrote this instead of studying, I hope you're happy because I'm probably going to fail because of this fucking au love me

Wordcount: 3.4k

-Hoseok and the rest of Bangtan finally decide to get their own places- and its one of the conditions of the renewal of their contract because a few of the guys have significant others now. 

- He passes up an opportunity to get a three bedroom with Tae and Jungkook, and decides to live by himself like Yoongi.

- At first he decides to get a big old nice apartment on the top of a sky scrapper. 

- Its modern and lit up, and everything he ever dreamed of having when he was a trainee. 

- But it gets really lonely really quick.

- It starts to feel like a cage in the sky- while everyone comes home to something- all he has is his view of the city and floor to ceiling windows that will never open. 

- He’s gone for ages- he can’t even fill it with greenery let alone have a pet.

- His penthouse doesn’t really feel like a home- after half a year he gives up one it. 

- He caves and asks Yoongi if he would like a roommate 

- “Hell no- we finally get to have quiet to our selves dude- enjoy it before you meet someone and decide to have a family.” 

- So he decides to move into this quiet space- but in a busier more grungy part of town. 

- A two bedroom above a coffee shop with a wrap around balcony that’s a little ways away from Bighit. 

- In a town where there are mostly bars and restaurants- the other apartments on the street catering to families or people that can barely make rent. 

- He loves it more than his penthouse- how he can sit out on his street faceting balcony and people watch until he feels like sleeping. 

- It always smells like baked goods from the café below, 

- The little bathroom leaves a lot to be desired and theirs a stain on the ceiling from water damage but he loves it. 

- It’s still too lonely though. The foot traffic only lasts till 1- which is nothing when he doesn’t get home until 12; 30 even on his less busy days. And he still doesn’t feel like he’s home. 

- After a drunken night and a little convincing from Seokjin he puts an advertisement in the local paper for his spare room. 

- He’s almost forgotten about it when he gets an email a few weeks later. 

- And he meets you in the café downstairs. A sweet student a few years younger than him looking to get their first place away from their parents. 

- He was worried that you would recognize him- that you could be a fan or at least know his face- but when he takes off his facemask in a moment of boldness he doesn’t get any reaction. 

- And he realizes that shit he’s lucked out- because you definably don’t know who he is- or who bts are. 

- You take a peek at his apartment after a nice conversation and almost swoon- because how the fuck is the rent so low when that place is so nice- and hella cute. 

- He watches as you compliment the bathroom and the crown molding- which he hadn’t even noticed. And he realizes how disconnected he’s gotten from the general public. 

- You don’t think much of Hoseok at first- maybe that he’s a little cagey and more than a little secretive- he wears facemasks everywhere and you hardly ever see him take it off if he’s not at home.

- His sudden hair color changes perplex you the most.

- At first you guys have such opposite schedules that you hardly ever feel like you’re living with anyone.

- Then Hoseok gets home at 3am to find you dancing in a extra large nightshirt and eating a tub of ice cream with the music blasting and he joins in- turning the music up ( the song was “fuck it” by big bang).

- It doesn’t matter that you can’t dance for shit- that you’re literally soo terrible- you dance with more energy and passion than half the idols he’s met. 

- Breathlessly you comment on his dancing skills and he just smiles and say’s “yeah I dance a little on the side.” 

- You never really ask him what he does- you just assume that it pays well after his entire closet is overflowing with Gucci and designer clothes. 

- Which you totally steal out of the clean laundry.

- Queue some small domestic spats about him turning one of your white sweaters pink with a Gucci sweater right before you wanted to wear it. 

- Which result in him letting you wear the offending Gucci sweater. 

- Which you don’t give back until a month later when he goes too your room and demands it back. 

- Your midnight dance party’s become more frequent- and when it finally gets a little warmer you guys take to drinking out on the balcony and watching the cars drive by and the glowing turquoise neon lights of Omelas pub across the street. 

- You talk about everything and anything

- Sometime you’ll walk out a 4 am and find something keeping him up- or he finds you working on an assignment. 

- And you’ll go downstairs to the café or across town to your favorite dinner to cheer him up with comfort food. 

- After a while Hoseok starts to realize that this is the first normal friendship that he’s had in a long long time. 

- Sure the boys are great but there are no expectations between you two- it’s just effortless. Your budding friendship only building when the both of you have time. 

- He doesn’t have to wear a mask with you- at all. In fact- it almost seems like you can tell when he’s hiding something. Which is something that only the boys can do.  

- And he’s not sure he would have this easy relationship with you if you knew he was an idol- so he does his best to keep it from you.  

- He wants too keep the little slice of normalcy he has in his little apartment above the café.

- The two of you Lying on the ground in front of fans with you when the air-conditioning breaks on the hottest day of the summer.

- Going on runs together in the morning on his day’s off. 

- Coming home to find that you made too much dinner. and him trying some to find out that “shit you're a good cook.”

 - shy smiles and thankyou’s over communally consumed cups of coffee on Sunday's 

- Dance parties.

-  Finding your colorful socks left in the washing machine. 

- One day he comes back midday to find you just home from a run- and you’re making food while bopping to some music in a sports bra and a pair of shorts that look suspiciously like his.

- And he freezes when he starts to hear you rap part of cypher pt 4. 

- His part. 

- He yanks out your headphones when your eyes rise to meet his and he can’t tell if the feeling in his stomach is apprehension, fear, or longing to have all of it out in the open. 

- “I didn’t know you liked rap music,” he says mildly, trying to keep his tone casual. You just shrug and keep cutting up vegetables.

- “I just found this song on iTunes and it’s totally my new work out jam- Wanna stick around for lunch? I’m making veggie stir-fry.” He snags a carrot off of your cutting board. 

- “Can’t I’ve gotta get back.” You just shrug and put your headphones back in. 

- He confesses to the boys that you still don’t know who he is and they’re all kind of shook.  

- Half of them think he should tell you- after all you’ve found they’re music so you’re bound to get curious about them enough too look up their faces one day.  

- But Hoseok just can’t- he can’t help but think the knowledge that he’s an idol will change everything for your relationship. 

- And besides- he’s starting to get a twinge in his heart whenever he looks your way. And he knows what it means- even if he’s too stubborn and busy to confront it yet. 

- Surprisingly Jungkook understands- and advises him too keep it a secret. 

- So he does.  But it gets harder day-by-day. 

- He goes away for a short tour- and just tells you that he has to go away for a business trip.

- He gives you his number so that you can stay in contact about the apartment (in case there’s a problem or something breaks while he’s away for the month) 

- But he’s not surprised that you guys just end up texting each other every day

- You mention that you have a really big exam and that you’ll be up late that night and he calls the café downstairs and begs them to deliver- after all he has a tab racked up anyway there. 

- And you open the door too one of the cooks giving you a late and something sweet with a heart drawn on the back and just an “good luck –H”

- And you can’t stop smiling for the rest of the day. 

- And you realize that you’ve begun to really miss him when he’s away- and you realize that all the little gestures he makes for you. 

- When he comes back you cook together for a week- because he finally has time off and you have the final push before finals.

- You guys do everything together for that week. You watch TV. go too a few museums together, take walks at night when insomnia has both of you restless

- And yes- you have your famous dance parties (that have become almost routine at this point.)

- You even cuddle up on the couch together after a movie marathon. And Hoseok almost looses it when you fall asleep on his shoulder. His hands shake as he runs his fingers through your hair. 

- He never wants this too end. This quiet peace he has with you. 

- With you, he can take off his mask. 

- He’s always careful not too sing in the shower anymore- after all these months you still don’t know he’s an idol. 

- And he’s even more worried that you’ll find out one day. 

- You decorate the apartment for Christmas. With garlands, lights, and a tree in the corner by the water stain. He has a big-hit Christmas dinner to go too Christmas eve- but when he comes home he finds you watching a Christmas special on the TV. 

- You smile and open up your fluffy blanket for him and he sinks into the couch next too you- taking off his tie as you ask about his day. 

- Your legs are warm and bare next too his silk dress pants. 

- You hand him a little gift- wrapped in gold wrapping paper. 

- “Just a little something for being a good roommate, and giving me cheap rent.” 

- It’s a little bracelet with the Hangeul for hope attached too it. Small and silver.  

- His heart stutters- and you take his silence to be something bad. 

- “You’re always talking about hope- I just-“ “I love it.” 

- He looks up at you- realizing how close your faces are. He takes your hand in his. 

- “Thank you y/n- it’s perfect.” You just smile up at him.

- “I got you something too.” Really he’s had it for ages- since he first started to feel love sting in his chest and tug on the strings of his heart. 

- He comes back too the room too the announcer blaring into your living room – “up next a pre-recorded performance of Bangtan Sonyondan! Performing their new Christmas song!” 

- and he freezes because how the fuck could he forget. It had only been a few days ago that they had finished recording the special Christmas episode. 

- He thinks fast- jumping on the couch “your Christmas present is tickling!” and he tickles you until you can’t breathe around your laughter. 

- He barely manages to switch the channel before the commercial ends- turning it too a Christmas movie (love actually) that coincidentally he knows you love.  

- Your laugh fills his apartment as you cry. “No fair! I was watching that!” 

-  But you forget about it when he finally presents you with your gift. You open it slowly.  

- It’s a Gucci sweater- your favorite one that you always steal from Hoseok’s closet only this one is brand new tag still on it- the price scribbled out. 

- It’s easily the priciest gift you’ve ever received. 

- “Hoseok… this must have been so expensive” and you’re right- the sweater was several hundred dollars more expensive then one months rent. 

- Hoseok just shrugs and teases “now you wont have to steal them from me anymore.” And you pull him down into a bone-crushing hug.

- And maybe its wrong- maybe it’s horrible for him too feel something for you when you’re his roommate. 

-  Maybe it’s horrible of him to feel his heart beat faster when he’s been lying to you. 

- Maybe its because its Christmas Eve and he has no one but you. 

- He lies there for a moment. Him on top of you his head pressed into your shoulder.

- The length of his body pressed against yours- happy for another person’s warmth on this cold night. 

- He falls asleep for a little while- comforted by you, and wakes up to the luxurious feeling of your fingers rubbing down his spine underneath the covers.  

- Cuddles become more of a regular thing for the two of you even after this as the winter slowly shifts to spring. 

- He can tell when you’ve had a bad day- he’ll just pull you down, and you’ll do the same for him. 

- Your first kiss happens a few weeks after that- when you’re both cooking a communal dinner and he you just look so cute when you laugh after he accidentally flips some chicken from a pan onto the floor. 

- And he accidentally acts on his hidden feelings, pressing a kiss too the corner of your mouth so quickly. 

- You’re a little stunned but then you kiss him back. 

- If it seems at all possible you guys become even more effortless after that- pressing kisses too his lips when he leaves and the opposite. 

- It becomes natural for you too sleep in his bed. 

- But you don’t realize how serious you’ve both gotten until one month you go to pay rent and he just waves his hand saying- “don’t worry about it.”

-  You still both haven’t had that talk yet.

- You know the one where you define your relationship- this domestic love that is slow and lovely and so hopeful. 

-  You still haven’t told him how you really feel- and though he’s made his feeling clear too 

- You’re certain he wouldn’t put up with how needy you are sometimes if he didn’t want you around at least a little bit. 

- It still bothers you that you can’t call yourself his girlfriend yet. 

- But things pick up before you can talk about it- he goes on tour again- and he feels even more horrible for lying to you day by day. 

- And your finals hit- and everything goes perfectly until you get one of your grades back and you failed- like flat out failed the class- you find out at the worst time. 

- Hoseok isn’t here and as far as you know he wont be back until next week.  

- You’re crying in the kitchen eating ice-cream when he walks in his suitcase dragging behind him- tired from his 15 hours of plane flights. 

- At this point you’re basically balling about everything- you’re just so overwhelmed. 

- “Y/n’ he calls quietly. And you turned shocked. Trying to wipe away your tears before he sees.

- But he does see, and he wipes away your tears before begging you to tell him what’s wrong and you tell him about your exam and he listens too you through all of it wiping away your tears with his thumb. 

- When you’re done he just pulls you too your feet and takes your hand in his. 

- And leads you too the center of your kitchen- taking you in his arms.

- A hand rubbing the small of your back while taking your other hand in his large hands. 

- He slow dances with you- at 3 am in his kitchen. 

- There’s no music like usual- Nothing but his quiet humming. 

- You lean your head against his chest. 

- And you hear him humming a song you recognize- it’s a song by bts, 

- Which is surprising too you- because he’s only ever told you that he doesn’t really listen to them

- When it gets to your favorite part you stop moving.

- Because his humming- the pitch of it. 

- How his vocal cords wrap around the tune- sounds exactly like the voice that you hear out of your headphones. 

- You look up at him and he stops humming. 

- “Hoseok are you-?” you just trail off- when you realize that you’ve never asked him what he does. 

- He can see you slowly putting it together- his busy schedule- his cagey personality- his obvious wealth. 

- “Please I can explain if you let me, y/n just- please don’t freak out.” He pleads.

- And he sits you down before trying to explain everything too you. 

- You sit quietly listening too his story. 

- He looks at you with baited breath when he’s finished waiting for your response. “Please I never wanted to lie too you- but after I while I just got so scared that you would leave or move out-“

- You start laughing - and it’s a little funny the impossibility of this situation.

- The guy that millions of girls probably lust after just ends up being your roommate because you answered a misspelled add in the newspaper. (he was drunk- so you don’t blame him that much).

-  After you tell him why you’re laughing his faces looses his worried expression.  

- “How could you ever think that I wouldn’t want to stay- Hoseok I admire everything that you do- you work so hard and I’m just- I’m astounded I didn’t realize sooner.” 

-“So you’re not mad?’ you just grin at him and shrug “Maybe a little? Maybe I could see you perform and meet the other members as an apology.” 

- He introduces you as his girlfriend too the boys- and you love all of them and they all love you.

- By the end of it he can’t imagine why he was so worried about it in the first place because you’re such a natural at this. 

- Bighit talks too the both of you about keeping your relationship a secret- but it doesn’t seem too be much of a problem. 

- Life continues as usual- only Hoseok has someone to come home too and love him and it’s more than he ever hoped for in his life. 

- Dance parties start to end with your hips pinned against the kitchen counter and his hungry lips against your neck. 

- Shared Showers after dance practice turn into tender lovemaking. 

- Study sessions turn sultry when he pulled you on to his lap. “Come on you know it’s more comfortable.” 

- Everything is absolutely perfect. 

- You graduate from college. And Hoseok takes you to your first BTS concert. And when he gets off stage you’re just there beaming at him. 

- When he looks at you he realize. 

- Home was never an apartment above a coffee shop. 

- Home was you all along.

Bonus – during the performance you totally shout, “that’s my man!” when he does a hip roll you’ve seen him do a dozen times in your kitchen.

[bramlouisgreenfeld]

lalvarez 86?

from this list of prompts - please don’t send more!

Laila is certain that the best role on a team is the goalkeeper. You can see the whole court from there, and most of the crowd, and she’s always been an observer.

Since joining the Trojans, her observation has become rather... focused. There’s one backliner in particular who grabs Laila’s attention and keeps it. (Not enough that she’s not one of the best damn goalkeepers in the game, but sometimes it’s close.) (Not that she’d ever admit it.)

Sometimes, though, she thinks she notices Alvarez looking back. Well, actually, Laila knows Alvarez looks back. It’s just that she never seems guilty or embarrassed about it; when Laila catches her eye, she grins or winks and gets straight back into whatever she’s doing without missing a beat. 

So she can’t be staring back. She just happens to be glancing. Laila’s pretty sure. At least, she thinks.

(What she hopes is a different story entirely.)

(But Laila tries not to think about that too much.)

Laila doesn’t get to spend much time with the team outside of practice, which is a good and bad thing all at once. She likes them, she thinks, but balancing a class-heavy science course with a job and as much volunteering as she can while still trying to squeeze in some sleep is impossible enough as it is. And social life wouldn’t be her first choice to add in - if she had even a little bit of free time, she’d check out other clubs and sports. 

As it is, she barely has time for exy. She wouldn’t have time for it if it weren’t for the small factor that is her scholarship. The only reason she can afford college. Like, at all.

So she’s the first one in and out of showers, and she rushes past everyone, trying to say as many friendly ‘bye!’s as possible, before half of them have even changed out of their gear.

“Laila!” A senior calls, as she’s about to leave.

“Yeah?” She asks, pausing. She hasn’t got to be anywhere for half an hour, if she’s totally honest, but she’d much rather be early. Any time to work on assignments is welcome, if not necessary.

“We know you have a schedule more full than Yiasoumi’s plate at dinner, but any chance you can squeeze us in for movie night tonight?” He asks with a shit-eating grin. Laila remembers that she does genuinely like her teammates. 

“It’s Mulan,” Alvarez says, sat close to the senior and pulls off her shirt like it’s no big deal. Laila tries to remember how to breathe. “You can’t say no to the best Disney movie.”

That sparks a chain reaction of teammates yelling what they think is the best Disney movie, which means Laila can figure out her schedule and catch her breath before she’s expected to reply. She even, somehow, remembers to keep her eyes on Alvarez’s face. “I’m done at 9, so I could come by after?”

There’s a chorus of approval from the gathered athletes, and Laila grins in response. 

(A social life may not be her first choice, but it’s nice to have. And if the Trojans are anything, it’s nice.)

Laila swings out the door with a wave and a promise to text her whose room or block they end up in.

She ends up late. Of course. Laila’s not sure there’s any part of her life that adheres to her schedule in the way she wants it to. But it doesn’t really matter, she guesses, because she was gonna be the last Trojan to arrive regardless.

The movie’s started, which she expected, and the room is packed. She still gets a few waves when she walks in, but everyone’s quiet - for a room of rowdy athletes, they respect the unspoken rule of not talking during films. The only sound is the quiet rustle of snacks and the occasional whisper. Then, someone whispers loudly, “Dermott!”

Laila looks towards the call, and sees Alvarez waving her over. Her heart starts beating faster, but she smiles and walks towards the backliner. “Saved you a seat. You’ll have to squeeze a bit, but I reckon you can fit.”

Seriously. This girl. They’ve barely spoken, but every last thing she does just makes her crush grow and grow. Laila doesn’t think she has time to deal with the squeeze on her heart, the fire in her veins, but she doesn’t want any of it to stop, either.

Which is good, actually, because with she can feel Alvarez against every inch of her side. It doesn’t even take two minutes of sitting like that before the other girl has to extract her arm from where it’s crushed against Laila and throw it behind Laila’s head - like her arm’s around my shoulder, Laila thinks, and then tries to unthink it - and whispers, “Is this alright? I was losing circulation.”

Laila forces her smile to a thin line and says, “It’s fine,” and hopes Alvarez can’t see her blush in the dark room.

Alvarez moves her lips so she’s less than an inch from Laila’s ear, so she can be quieter and not disturb the others, and says, “You can move your arm too, if you want. I don’t mind you being in my personal space if you’re worried about it.”

Laila’s blush gets stronger but she nods and feels her ponytail brush against Alvarez’s arm. She wishes she didn’t smell of coffee, but she shifts into a slightly more comfortable position and tries not to think of Alvarez’s perfume and soft skin.

Laila knows Alvarez is right, that Mulan is an awesome film, but she doesn’t follow it at all. She can’t focus on anything except the girl to her left.

When the film stops, though, she’s yawning. It’s barely past ten, but since she’s used to early mornings, she’s had to force herself to be a morning person. The only times she’s stayed up past midnight since starting college were for away games, when the timezones had screwed her over and she’d been with her rowdy teammates. The adrenaline from a game is the only thing that seems to keep her up.

(The adrenaline of Alvarez’s warm skin against hers doesn’t quite compare. She’s wide awake, for sure, but she’s warm and comfortable and sleepy.)

Someone turns the lights back on, and Laila catches sight of her hand almost touching Alvarez’s on her leg. Then she’s caught in a sudden image of her pale fingers tangled with Alvarez’s warm brown ones, and longing punches her in the chest. She breathes through it and looks at her phone. 

Before she can say anything about leaving, though, Alvarez cuts her off. “Hey, you can’t run off yet! It’s Friday night. Don’t tell me you have to be up early in the morning.”

Laila shrugs apologetically, unable to meet the other girl’s eyes. “You’d think, but I work more on the weekends. The only time I really have to fit in the hours. Lucky me gets the morning shifts.”

“That’s shitty,” Alvarez says, twisting her mouth into a pout. Laila wants to kiss that bottom lip. “I have assignments to do, though, so I guess I should call it a night, too. I’ll walk with you?”

Most of the first-year athletes live in the same block, only a five minute walk away from the house the seniors hosted the movie night in. Laila bites her lip on a smile and says, “Sure,” hoping she sounds even the slightest bit casual.

Laila and Alvarez are the first to leave the group, and a sophomore Laila’s talked to occasionally, Emily, raises her eyebrows at Laila as they leave. Laila resists the urge to tell her to shut up, and instead focuses her energy on removing the blood from her cheeks and back to her poor, exhausted heart.

“You major in Bio, right?” Alvarez asks as they step out of the room. Laila is so grateful she starts the conversation, because the combination of nerves and tiredness means she can barely remember her own name, let alone any kind of conversation topic.

“Human Biology, yeah. I never managed to pick up on all the- plant respiration or whatever, so I decided to stick with the fun stuff. Like diseases,” Laila replies, deadpan, because it’s her stock answer.

Alvarez rewards her with a laugh. “Better you than me. I’ve never been any good at anything Science - I probably couldn’t even tell you where the kidney is.”

“Right here,” Laila says, tapping a spot on Alvarez’s back. She immediately regrets it. “Oh my god, I’m sorry. That wasn’t a question.”

“No, it’s fine! I told you, I have no problem with you being in my personal space,” Alvarez assures her, a twinkle in her eye. Laila almost misses a step, because she could swear Alvarez had put emphasis on the word ‘you’ that time. Like, she didn’t mind Laila being in her personal space, not just anyone in general. Fuck. “An anatomy lesson is totally fine with me, Miss Dermott.”

Fuck.

Laila’s cheeks go red, once again, and she wishes she weren’t so pale because then maybe it’d be less obvious - she bets Alvarez doesn’t have this problem - and she simultaneously thanks the fates for conspiring to ensure her first real conversation with Alvarez, if this even qualifies, happens at night time.

She laughs nervously. “Yeah, if you have any Bio classes, I’m your girl.”

Smooth. Smooth like chunky peanut butter.

Alvarez somehow manages to work around Laila’s awkwardness and word vomit and keeps up easy chatter until they reach their block. Slowly, the tension starts to fall from Laila’s shoulders as she realises she can actually talk to her crush. It’s a relief, even though every word Alvarez says makes Laila fall harder.

“I’m ground floor,” Alvarez says as they enter their block. “So.”

It’s the beginning of their goodbye, so Laila manages a slightly remorseful smile, and says, “So. I’ll see you at practice?”

“Woah, hold up,” Alvarez says, holding up a hand. “Goodbyes with me aren’t that short. I’m a little high-maintenance, I’m afraid.”

Laila doesn’t have even a hint of a problem with that. She’d offer this girl every last second of her free time, she’s sure, even if it meant she didn’t sleep. She raises her eyebrows. “Okay..?”

“Are you free at any point this weekend?” Alvarez asks.

“Um,” Laila says, thinking. She has long shifts both mornings, and she’s volunteering Saturday afternoon, and that leaves about five hours on Sunday, maximum, for class work. She has an exam on Monday that she’s only barely started studying for. “Not at all,” she says, feeling tired just thinking about everything that’s on her plate.

“I have no idea how you keep going,” Alvarez says, shaking her head as though she’s in awe. “I’m exhausted as is, and my only plans for the weekend are sleeping and maybe some assignments. Maybe.”

Laila laughs a little, “Yeah. I wouldn’t recommend my schedule.”

“Do you keep a little diary for your appointments?” Alvarez asks, grinning suddenly.

Laila hesitates a little before admitting, “I actually do. I’d never remember anything if I didn’t write it down.”

“That’s adorable!” Alvarez replies immediately. Then her grins takes on a wicked edge as she says, “So who do I need to speak to in order to get an appointment?”

“That would be me,” Laila says. “Um, an appointment for what? That anatomy class?”

“Hold your horses, cowgirl. I’d save that for the second date, at the earliest.”

Laila’s eyes widen. Date.

“Woah, I think you’re going purple. You don’t have to say yes, I just thought maybe-”

Laila cuts her off, because Alvarez is starting to look genuinely remorseful. “Yes.”

“-you might want to, but if you- wait, yes?” Alvarez’s eyes, large and an endless warm brown, snap back up to Laila’s.

“Yes. You can make an, um, I mean, I’d love to go on a date with you. If that’s what you’re asking.” Laila only stops herself from wringing her hands by sheer willpower.

“Yes! That’s definitely what I’m asking. Okay, awesome. I’ve been trying to working up to asking you all semester, and I do it by making a joke about a fucking appointment. Okay. Can’t believe that worked,” Alvarez laughs.

“All semester?” Laila asks. “I had no- I’ve been, like, staring at you in practice. I was certain you thought I was a creep.”

“No! Not at all. I didn’t even really notice. I mean, I did a little. But it was flattering! It wasn’t creepy staring. And you kept blushing about it, which, by the way, is fucking adorable.”

As if on cue, Laila blushes. 

“Anyway, I won’t keep you from your bed from longer, if you have a long weekend.”

“I do,” Laila says, but it seems slightly less exhausting. She feels reinvigorated. “Do you have my number?”

“Yeah, I do,” Alvarez smiles.

“Okay, text me later. I’ll, uh, figure out when I’m free, I guess,” Laila laughs, slightly self-deprecatingly, because she kind of wants to go on a date right now, even though she has to be awake in less than nine hours.

“No rush,” Alvarez assures her. “I can wait. You’re worth it.”

Laila can’t help but grin. “Well, I can’t wait.”

Alvarez’s smile matches hers for wattage, and Laila pulls her into an awkward hug good night.

She heads upstairs and gets almost straight into bed, as she’s used to, because every free minute is a minute she could be resting. But she can’t sleep. She can barely even close her eyes, energy coursing through her veins.

After ten minutes, she grabs her phone from where it’s charging. There’s another little thrill when she sees Alvarez’s name already on her screen, and she clicks on the notifcation, unable to help herself. I know you’ll be asleep and this is the opposite of hard to get, but I already told you I’m high maintenance, so? This is me texting you. It’s technically later. I’m not interrupting your beauty sleep tho. Sleep well, beautiful. Then there’s a second text: Or if I missed that window, good morning, sunshine with a little sun emoji.

Laila clutches the phone to her chest.

This girl.

[canaryatlaw]

Today was pretty awesome. So small group sign ups for my church went live at 7:30 am and they always fill up really fast, so I set my alarm for 7:30 so I could do that and then go back to sleep until 9 when I had to get out of bed. Originally I thought I wasn't gonna be able to do one again because of all my night classes which I was sad about, but being that the mock trial team is heading to one of their competitions this week my Thursday nights will probably be empty now, so I managed to make one of the co-Ed groups work. It's not the one specifically labeled "20s and 30s unmarried" but there's also a whole other section for married couples, so hopefully not everyone in the group will already be dating? That's been my issue haha, everyone at my church is already dating someone, I swear. So my alarm goes off and I go to log onto it on my phone, but the damn page is down, probably because a ton of people tried to log onto it at once. I tried for like 7 more minutes before being like fuck it, I'm going back to sleep so when I woke back up at 9 I logged on again and snagged the last spot in the women's sign ups for that group (they separate it by gender to try and have a balanced number of both in each group) so that was good. Got ready, headed off to church and got there just a bit early, so I ran up to the nursery to make sure things were going alright. It was almost at the end of the 9:30 service at that point, and the 9:30 is always the busiest so I was a little worried about only having two people signed up, but apparently it was a first serve day which means there was a bunch of other people in there belong which was good. So then I went back downstairs and into the 11 o clock service, which it was really nice to be back in. I haven't actually been in the service since before Christmas break, so like a month now, which is just way too long (I just get too easily caught up in wanting to stay with the babies, lol, and then I was home for several weeks too). As I mentioned earlier my awesome pastor went out of his way to say how awesome he thought the women's March was and how he loved that many from our church participated, and very explicitly stated that "if you weren't aware, the church you're attending is not one that allows women to lead, it encourages women to lead." And I mean his wife is the co-lead pastor with him so they definitely live that out and oh my god it was so refreshing to hear something like that actually come from the pulpit. My parents themselves probably wouldn't have had a problem with those comments, but if they were said from the pulpit (or in any context) in their church there would be droves of angry churchgoers banging down the pastor's door and demanding his resignation (and I'm not even kidding). So it was really cool to be reminded just how different this church is and how it makes me feel that much more at home there. He also said that in addition to a full sanctuary we had filled up 4 overflow rooms this service, which is insane given that it's just one of then4 Sunday morning services they have. It's obviously booming and it's so full of young people in a time when all I hear about is young people leaving the church, so they're obviously doing something right. The service was about a passage in John where Jesus is taking about being the vine and God being the gardener, who cuts off branches that don't bear fruit and prunes those that do so they'll be more fruitful, which for a song from my crazy bible song childhood stuck in my head lol but it was good. After the service I headed back up to the sanctuary for the 12:30 service I was working. We ended up with 4 babies and there were two of us, so it was a good balance really. We initially had another girl but she hadn't made it to the service earlier so we told her she could go watch it instead. The baby composition was interesting, haha. There was a little girl, 6 mo the old, named like one of my favorite names that I want to name one of my daughters, and she was mostly complacent for the whole service, no crying so that was appreciated haha, she was cute. Then there was another little girl who was screaming bloody murder when her parents left and was totally inconsolable for a good 5 minutes before becoming distracted and deciding not to cry anymore, though for most of the time she just kind of sad there and wouldn't respond to anything we tried to get her interested in even though we knew she could understand us, lol. They had some bubbles this week though (in spill proof containers, of course) and that captivated most of their attention for a good chunk of the service. Then I finally got to see my tiny girl again, who I haven't seen in like 6 weeks so that made me happy and she's just so freaking cute I can't take it. She was again refusing to let me put her down, but was also like, getting upset when I'd go to play with another baby and pull her back to her haha and when I was trying to get the formerly crying little girl interested in some of the other stuff I would be like "can you go through that side and show her?" and kind of motion with my hands and she did exactly what I asked, when I'm not at all sure she knew what I was saying haha so I was impressed with that. And yeah, she was just typically adorable. She was calling me "mama" at various points, which is curious only if because I know she calls her mom "mommy." She doesn't really have a whole lot of speech right now, just a handful of words, so I was trying to encourage her to say "Rachel" but that tends to be a mouthful for babies just learning to talk, and my name usually gets designated a shorter version until the child can fully pronounce it (I know my little brother called me "shell" for a while, and my sister, inexplicably, called me "hatoo" for a solid six months) so I knew that probably wouldn't work. She also has this super cute habit of pointing some of the other kids and being like "baby!" even when they're like, older than her haha but she gets all sweet with the little babies and gah it's so cute. I'm trying to remember if she did anything else particularly cute, but be probably bored you all by this point so I'll move on. The fourth and final child in our care was a boy who was 23 months old, so about to move up to the toddler's classroom, and he was pretty big compared to the others. Strangely, he didn't cry when his parents left and was totally fine for the first half of the service, then just out of nowhere insisted on standing at the gate and looking out the door saying he wanted his momma and he just would not move, despite our many attempts at comforting/distracting (we did get him away a few times, but not for more than like 5 minutes before he would go back). He wasn't actually crying most of the time, but I would go up to him and try to comfort him and he'd just kind of collapse into my arms (it was so sweet) and cry a little and oh man, poor kid but it was really the sweetest thing. So I kept promising him his parents would be there real soon since there wasn't all that much else I could do. They did arrive soon enough, and I told them about how he was acting and his dad said he had gotten a really small amount of sleep last night (and that he was walking around Walgreens with him at 5:30 this morning trying to get him to fall asleep) and that would definitely do it, so hopefully it's just that because I know he's been in with us before with no problems. But yeah, most of it passed without a problem, which was a giant relief compared to last week's fiasco, the crying was kept to a minimum thankfully. Headed home and when I got here I knew I had to jump into my LARC assignment, which I had this feeling of dread about because LARC stresses me out like nothing else, and this was no exception. A big part of it was researching and finding cases to use, but it's not a terribly specific issue so there's a ton of cases to sort through, though very few of them are actually on point, so that was irritating. I spend a while searching through those and compiled a list of 5 because our prof said if we sent her 5 cases by midnight Sunday she would send us 5 back, so I got those in but then I didn't want to do anything on the case front until I get her answers because those will probably be the best cases to use. So I tried to do the other pieces, but kept getting caught up in the "legal writing" vs "LARC" problem. I'm good at legal writing, I do it all the time, but LARC is an extremely specific type of legal writing where every sentence has to service a specific purpose and there's no room for anything else and it's very difficult to make every case fit into that formula when not all cases were built for it. Plus in all likelihood it's not anything that would be required of us on that level in the real world, so it's not really worth much. I tried to write the pieces not involving the cases but kept getting caught up in the different pieces and what to put where that I eventually just got too frustrated and stopped. I have about 2 pages done, a little under 600 words, with a word limit of 1750, so it's a decent dent at least. I'm not happy about having to continue working on it during the week because during the week my time is very limited, but I can't do much else at this point until I get the cases back from my prof, so that will she to do for now. Sigh. I had set out some chicken to defrost in hopes of making a meal I could use for lunches/dinners throughout the week, so I grabbed one of the Campbell's skillet sauces, creamy Parmesan chicken, and I'm about to sound like an advertisement but holy fuck people, this stuff is so good and it's ridiculously easy. All you do is cook the chicken, at the sauce, let it boil for a few minutes, then mix in pasta or whatever else you want and you're good to go, and it just tastes so fucking good I can't even tell you lol, I was very pleased. Once that was done I moved on to the tv, I didn't necessarily want to start a new show because most of my shows are coming back this week and I'll be occupied by catching up with them (weeknight classes) for most of my weekends from here on out, so there wasn't much point in starting a new show, so I figured I'd knock off one of the movies on my list and went with batman v superman dawn of justice, just because I love superman (even if I don't love THAT superman) and I felt like a bad fan for not having seen it yet. It was interesting. It was a decent movie, but not a great one. I don't think they develop Clark enough as a character beyond being superman, and for most of the movie I didn't have much of an idea what the hell was going on in Bruce Wayne's head. The supposed doomsday monster at the end felt like a cheap shot, because it was literally just some random monster they tried to slap the doomsday label on in an attempt to tie it to canon, when it's just a fucking random monster. I did like Clark kicking ass to find Martha, and how Bruce immediately changed his tune after finding out Lex had her, even when he had spent most of the movie plotting against superman. Any sadness I would've had over superman's death is pretty much tempered by the fact that I know there's an upcoming justice league movie that he will undoubtedly be in, so there isn't much chance he'll be dead for long. But yeah, fine movie, but not one I'd love for such an iconic character (two iconic characters, really) and nowhere near on the level of the marvel movies (and I say that while being a DC girl through and through). It's a shame they can't seem to find the dynamic in their movies that they've found in their tv shows....if they were smart they would do what marvel is doing and tie in the tv and movie universes, which would be soooooooooo easy to do because they've already introduced the concept of the multiverse and different characters being from different earths, like it would be incredibly easy to introduce them as different universes that are now converging. Sigh. I know it's never gonna happen, but I can dream right? The other exciting thing that happened today was that I officially purchased my ticket to the Heroes vs. Villains Fan Fest in Chi at the end of March which happens to fall on my birthday, because Caity Lotz and a ton of other awesome people will be there and doesn't that sound like an awesome way to spend your birthday?? I have a kickass cosplay in the works (and by that I mean I'm buying one because I have no artistic skills whatsoever) so stay tuned for updates there. Okay, this is long and I'm tired and it's almost 2 am, so I'm gonna go to bed now. Goodnight loves. Hope your Monday doesn't suck.

[justanotherme23]

My Deep Learning Final

It’s 6:00 on a Sunday in quarantine and the Tinder matches have stopped responding. I’m lonely and bored; it’s time to share with the world the single greatest comedic achievement in my life. My Deep Learning final. It’s a long story, but I hope that someone besides me finds it as fucking funny as I do. I’m not the greatest writer, but we’ll give it a go!

I signed up for a class called Deep Learning. To make things simple, it’s an image processing class for crazy smart graduate students (i.e. not me). We write computer programs that identify the locations of objects in a picture. With our programs you could feasibly split porn vids into individual images and count how many unique penises are present in a video. You could even identify how close people’s mouths were to the penises to determine how many blowjobs there are! But that’s just one application

Once upon a semester’s eve, I realized I was failing and the only assignment left was the final project. I needed to get a 90 or above to pass. It was actually a really cool project. The teacher had created a video game comparable to Rocket League but with hockey instead of soccer, and minus the flying and crashing. Games were 2 players against 2 players, whoever scores the most goals in a two minute time limit wins. Students could work in teams, but I do school remotely and so worked by myself. Here’s a short clip of the environment.

The students’ job is to make a team of computer players (one team each) that could drive the puck into the goal such that each player receives the video stream of the game as well as information describing the position of the player being controlled at each timestep. A player makes 1 decision that each step, or frame, of the game is played. We can tell a player to accelerate, break, steer, and do some other things. Then, this action is sent back to the game program to calculate the next step.

TL;DR it’s the same idea as if you were to control the car with a console controller, just represented as numbers and steps.

This is where things get ~hairy~

Players were going to be graded based upon their performances AGAINST OTHER STUDENTS’ PLAYERS. This scared the shit out of me. Even worse, each player’s program could only run for 1 tenth of a second on a CPU.

That.

Is.

Bonkers.

Deep learning programs require a cubic hecton of processing power to do anything meaningful. The whole entire semester we had been making large programs on expensive computers to accomplish tasks similar to the final. These programs require GPU’s, generally used for playing the latest and greatest Call of Duty or mining Bitcoin – they can get quite expensive and sometimes hard to come by.

Asking a CPU to run the same program is like giving a SpaceX rocket to a 5 year old. It’s going to take them a long ass time to figure out which knobs to turn to start the thing up while they neglect safety requirements for literally anything else running around it at the time the program launches. A program that takes days on a GPU takes years on a CPU.

The time limit meant our programs had to be less than a tenth the size of what we had been learning on throughout the semester. This was reportedly a result of the Teacher not being able to find an applicable computer for the final?? Rules are rules, and I knew there would be a huge drop in the performance of the program.

I nevertheless gave this final project all of my free time for a solid week. One morning I sat down with a full box of cereal in front of the computer. When I next stood up to go to bed, the box was empty. Yet this was all I had to show for my effort at the end of the week. The black dot running around the screen is the program’s prediction for the location of the puck.

That sucks! The player couldn’t tell how to steer to hit the puck until it was very very close. It just kind of shuffled back and forth across the arena knowing what general direction to head in. I was depressed.

A few days before the final, the TA announced they would be holding a practice tournament. We could pit our players against each other before the due date to see how to make improvements. Here are the results. I was 3rd to last, doomed to fail the class.

BUT THEN. Something clicked.

My results were horrible, yes; so were almost everyone else’s. Since the vast majority of goals were scored against only 3 players (myself included), the second placed player was MORE LIKELY TO NOT SCORE IN ANY GIVEN MATCH. That’s fantastic news.

Then I noticed something else while playing with position logic. The players and the puck always start from the same positions! Instead of abiding by the ideals of the class to use deep learning – as it obviously wasn’t working for all except one team – I decided to use an … alternative solution.

Let’s say you’ve started living in a new city and need to get to the nearest Starbucks. You look it up on the look-up phone and find the route from your home to the Starbucks. Then you remember the route. You use the route every morning to get coffee before work. You have memorized to take a right; go 2 steps forward; take a right; one step forward; left; then you’ve arrived. The only problem with this memorization scheme is what happens when you start one block off of where you live. Following the exact same steps leads you to the middle of fucking nowhere. So I made an assumption based on the fact that each player starts from the same position. ~The players can memorize their routes from a given starting position to the goal~.

This piece says if the player were to arrive at the exact listed position, perform a recorded set of actions.

A route to a player is simply a list of action that they take to get from point A to point B. The actions you see above are a stored list that describe exactly that. How to get from the starting position to the puck and from the puck to the goal.

There’s one other important assumption. The other players must not interfere. It was clear after seeing the preliminary results that everyone was stuck with their little players piddling around searching for the puck. So provided the goals were scored fast enough, I could assume the enemy players remained about in the spots they started! Here’s the resulting route. This route is valid both right after the game starts and right after a goal is scored, at which point the positions of everything reset.

Now, I had no idea if this would work. If anything at all about my assumption was wrong, if the puck was slightly of place, if the other players don’t stay in the same spot, the plan would fail. It was midnight, an hour before the deadline, and this was the best solution I could come up with. But the next morning THIS HAPPENED

Not only did I get enough points to score some goals but I FAR AND AWAY BEAT EVERY SINGLE OTHER PLAYER IN THE TOURNAMENT. I completely undermined the intention of this final project with a solution that is technically an exploitation of the environment. It’s a fucking ridiculous solution that would not have worked if ANYTHING in the startup of the game had changed. Even rotating a player by the smallest amount would have completely ruined the plan but it WORKED FUCK YEAH!! NONE of the smart ass people in this class with all their effort could beat the most ridiculous gameplan imaginable! People commented on the post asking for how I won and I didn’t say anything out of fear I would be disqualified. I’ve not been able to tell anyone.

To whomever reads this, you are the only one who knows about the total extent of the ridiculousness of the situation. How many hours I spent trying to do the right thing. How I figured out the requirements were impossible. How this graduate level class – filled with geniuses who aren’t me – was unable to compete with this one simple trick to score goals fast. It is so far my greatest accomplishment in life and thinking of it will never not make me laugh. Thank you for listening 😊I hope you enjoyed it too!