#insults

[kaleidoscopicnova-staticcoffee]

Canonical IDW insults from Sins of The Wreckers

(slight spoiler warning!)

[theriu]

Hey ya’ll just wanted to share one of the best/funniest burns I have ever read.

[unyandere]

Yandere villain x snarky civilian reader who doesn’t mind dying -pt.1

Tw: yanderish behaviour, swearing, mention of suicide, insults that come from the Gen Z and Gen α, reader doesn’t have a self-preservation sense, reader as so much sass that they could be called Sassophones, stupid jokes, please don’t answer like this to any criminal, childish behaviour (not in the pedophilia meaning, in the “saying stupid shit when you don’t have an answer” meaning), my English is quite bad (sorry)

Part 2

Yandere villain was fighting against the hero when he saw you, bleeding on the ground while unconscious, after he used his powers against a skyscraper… And he found that you were the most good-looking person he’s ever seen in his whole life, not even the greatest diamond would compare to your beauty or your worth… He had to take you with him…

Yandere Villain escapes the fight with the hero and takes you away to use you as an hostage so that the hero doesn’t follow him to his base

When you get to his base he calls his underlings and cures you, bandaging your wounds and caressing you.

He puts you on a sofa, handcuffed with toy handcuffs to make sure you don’t punch him when you wake up and awaits for you to awake.

You open your eyes, look around and see the villain that terrorised the city and (indirectly) killed both of your parents and you just give up, because unless the hero is able to localise you, you are not gonna come out of here alive.

“You’re awake” you hear him say.

“Nope” you answer, even if you are going to die, you won’t go down without annoying the hell out of him.

“Yes you are” he says caressing your cheek

“Nuh-huh” you answer, closing you eyes.

“Stop lying sweety or I’m gonna kill you” he threatens

“Do it, prissy boy” you sassily say.

“What?~ Honey, you’re not gonna a like it if I kill you” he says trying to be threatening

“Yes I will”

“No, sweetheart, you won’t”

“And how do you know that?” You ask with a smirk of superiority.

“Because no one likes to die, you little omelette!” He exclaims.

“Well I do!” You yell.

“Lower that voice, please” he orders.

“Nope, LALALLALALALALLALALLALA” you shout even louder.

“Fuck you, sweetheart” he exclaims with a passive-aggressive smile.

“Stop calling me sweetheart!” You shout.

“Oh? Is this annoying to you, sweetheart?” He asks with a smile.

“Fuck you! You no rizz, skill issue guy with a parentless behaviour” you answer giving him a middle finger.

“Oh no, sweetheart, I’m sooooooo offended” he says sarcastically.

“Offended like your mother when she saw your ugly face after you were born?” You ask with even more sarcasm in your voice.

“Sweetheart, if I were you I wouldn’t insult like this someone that can kill me so easily, you might not like the consequences~” he answers with a sugary voice, smiling with his eyes closed.

“And didn’t I tell you that I don’t mind dying, you motherfucker?” You answer smiling back.

“There are other things I can do other than killing you, you know?” He says looking at you with some eyes that look like the ones of a lion that has just seen an injured prey.

“And what if I don’t care about that either?” You answer mustering up all your courage to not look frightened.

He put an hand on your neck and pulls you closer.

“Well, sweety, that’s better for me~” he whispers in you ear.

You back away and manage to kick him while handcuffed.

“Eeeeeeeeeewwww, that phrase was sooo cringe” you say to mask the fear that had overcome you in that moment “Never even try to talk to me ever again!!!”

“What swe-“ he starts

“Shut up” you say to interrupt him.

“Oh sweethe-“ he starts again.

“Shush”

“But I-“

“Nope. Not listening. LALALSLLALALALALALALALALLALALALLALALALALALALALLALALALALLALALALALALALALALALALALALALAL”

“You shu-“

“LALLALALALLALALALLALLALA, CAN’T HEAR YOU! LALALSLALLALAALALLALLALALAL”

and you two continued like that for three days straight without any pause.

[3eanuts]

March 31, 1956 — see The Complete Peanuts 1955-1958

[furiousgoldfish]

abusive parents when they make a gross negligent error that damages the child permanently: *angrily* well I meant well! Nobody can judge me because my intentions were good! If you make me feel bad for this you're a heartless monster, think of all of the things I did for you! I was doing my best!!

abusive parents when a kid makes a well-meaning mistake that doesn't do any real damage: demon! horrid despicable scum of the earth, you are monstrous, I know you did that on purpose to make me miserable, you enjoy my misery! Everything in the world is your fault and you need to be put into order! There is no punishment enough for what you did, you little scoundrel, you monster, just wait until you see what happens to you, you're going to regret the day you were born!

[nyahkmenrah]

Ancient Egyptian insults have me laughing my ass off. I’m so using these.

[avintmich]

You betrayed me, disgraced yourself. You disgust me

[minyicho]

this is beautiful

[bobauthorman]

Straw Hats Bullying Zoro

[thoughtportal]

[proantiharrasblocklist]

INSULTS TO USE INSTEAD OF KYS (Credit to William Shakespeare)

He has not so much brain as ear-wax.

Like the toad; ugly and venomous.

Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood.

Thou elvish-mark’d, abortive, rooting hog!

I do desire that we may be better strangers.

Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes.

Thou cream faced loon.

Thine face is not worth sunburning.

Villain, I have done thy mother.

Thou art unfit for any place but hell.

Away! Thou’rt poison to my blood.

They have a plentiful lack of wit.

You are not worth another word, else I’d call you knave.

Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell.

I’d beat thee, but I should infect my hands.

You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, you bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish–O for breath to utter what is like thee!-you tailor’s-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck!

You are as a candle, the better burnt out.

If you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt.

The rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril.

This kiss is as comfortless as frozen water to a starved snake.

I wonder that you will still be talking. Nobody marks you.

Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows.

Thou damned and luxurious mountain goat. 

She speaks yet she says nothing.

What an ass!

Also I browse for people to add using a separate account, so blocking me won't work if you harass and want to avoid getting added.

[word-for-today]

Word for today: nerk

An objectionable insignificant person

[cheesecakeonthelanai]

The Golden Girls + SASS

[themightyhumanbroom]

A fun mental exercise for character writing is thinking of the meanest, cruelest, most cutting thing you can say to them.

It's an effective but fun way to get to the core of their weaknesses and insecurities.

[3eanuts]

January 21, 1956 — see The Complete Peanuts 1955-1958

[young-prince-firefly]

William: How could this have happened?

Mike:...

Henry: What's the matter, Will?

William: I have been playing 5d chess against someone who only knows how to play checkers!

Henry: What?

William: Do you know that feeling when you lose to someone far below your own intelligence? It's like that.

Henry: Er, no, I don't know that feeling.

William: Well, that's because you've only lost to a genius

Mike: But Father, he's only ever lost to you

William: Yes, Micheal, I'm the genius in this equation. See? Henry, this is what I mean. I lost to a simpleton!

Mike:...

Henry: Mike isn't a simpleton and if you keep saying things like that, I'm adopting him!

Mike:???

William: Keep him

Mike:?!?

Henry: Alright, Mike, your my son now. Will, please see yourself out of our house

William: You're kicking me out?

Henry: You aren't a good influence on my child.

William: Wha- Michael, don't let him kick me out!

Mike:... Uhh I would but H-Dad's in charge of this house which means you have to leave

William: Fine!

*leaves*

Henry: Good riddance. Son, would you like a coloring book?

Mike: Yes, Dad