#is the one where sirius gets expelled for his prank

[padfootastic]

Hey, happy new year!

I wanted to ask if you have fic recs for a Sirius centric story in which he runs away from home, but doesn't have the potters to catch him, or alphards money to fall back on?

hello! happy new year back to you friend <3

and i am so sorry, but i don’t think i have anything of the sort. i know there’s a few of this sort over in the wolfstar side of things but i’m no help there.

if there’s anyone who sees this who has recs, tho, please feel free to send it thru!!

[thatdammchickennugget]

Hi! Could i request a Remus x fem reader, where the Marauders make a bet on who can stay handcuffed together for longer and Remus and reader get paired up, they constantly get into awkward and funny situations together.

You Bet

pairing - remus lupin x gn!reader

summary - remus and you find yourselves handcuffed together as a result of a bet against james and sirius. the mischievous duo thought it would be a hilarious prank, but little did they know it would bring you and remus closer than ever

warnings - handcuffs (not sexual), fluff

wordcount - 2.3k

a/n - thank you so much for the request love <3 sorry this took so long, I started writing it, didn't like what I had written and then let it sit in my docs for weeks :/ but here you go, hope it's what you had in mind <3

James and Sirius entering a room cackling was never a good sign. Especially when they were trying to hide their laughter behind the closed fists pressed to their mouths, which could only mean that in the moment, they were laughing at your expense. There would be no reason to try and hide their amusement otherwise.

Remus had seemingly picked up on this as well, sitting up on the sofa next to you and putting down his book to muster the two troublemakers in question. “What are you up to?” he questioned with squinted eyes but his query was ignored.

James threw himself down on the cushions beside you, his elbow stabbing into your side in the process. In place of an apology, he leaned over to leave a smooch on your cheek. The mischievous glint in his eyes brought your attention back to the situation at hand. “Remus is right, you’re definitely up to something. You look way too pleased with yourselves right now.”

“Well, we are pleased. Because we just came up with an awesome idea!” Sirius proclaimed, arms behind his back as he took a seat on the coffee table in front of the sofa.

“And what idea would that be?” you questioned further, rolling your eyes at their dramatics. Why could they not just come out with it like normal people for once?

“Do you remember our little argument from last week? The one at the party after the quidditch match?” Sirius asked you with a smirk and went on when you nodded hesitantly. “We know how to test out who was right.”

You remembered the argument faintly, if you could even call it that. It was more of a small disagreement and had only gone on as long as it did because both you and Sirius had indulged in more than just a couple drinks that night.

James and Sirius had proudly stated that they were the greatest pair of best friends Hogwarts had ever seen, which offended you greatly and you quickly argued that Remus and you should get first place. The rest of your friends had been split, none of them agreeing or taking a side, which resulted in Sirius and you bickering back and forth about the topic for the rest of the night, Remus just shaking his head from where he was perched on the armrest of your armchair with his arm lazily placed on your shoulder.

“And how are you going to test it?” Your question caused the two to share a look, grins quickly spreading across their faces.

“Y/n. My dear friend. I specifically remember you saying that if James and I would spend any more time together, someone would end up expelled or dead,” Sirius went on, confusing you because you did not remember saying that. “But we believe we would be perfectly fine. You and Remus, however, could not even survive 24 hours of constantly being around each other.”

He might have a point there. Remus greatly enjoyed his alone time and regularly needed to be by himself for a couple of hours to recharge and you always embraced these moments with open arms, as they gave you the chance to let yourself sort through all the not-so-platonic feelings for your best friend you had been experiencing lately. Of course, you would never admit that to Sirius.

“I might have said that. But what does that have to do with anything?”

Sirius finally pulled his arms from behind his back in response, stretching them towards you, showing off the metal handcuffs he had been hiding the whole time. Your eyes widened slightly at the sight of them. “Where did you even get those?”

“I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you,” Sirius said flatly, before brightening up again. “Anyways, they’re charmed to stay on until we have a clear winner. Once a pair can’t stand being attached to each other anymore, the other’s cuffs will open up and we’ll know for sure.”

You exchanged an unsure glance with Remus, before glaring at Sirius. “We don’t have to prove ourselves. And I’m not up for your bullshit if all I get out if it is bragging rights.”

“Ah, I had a hunch you would say that,” James snickered, sitting up. “That’s why the winners will get a favour from the other two. It can be anything you want. And I’ll even go as far and throw in 20 galleons worth of chocolate from Honey Duke’s to make the deal a little sweeter for our Moony.”

You looked over your shoulder to see what Remus was thinking about this and he just shrugged his shoulders. He would do whatever you wanted him to do. “Okay Black. We have a deal.”

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

As you sat at the dinner table, your mind couldn't help but wander. Being handcuffed to Remus was proving to be more challenging than you had anticipated, especially considering the secret crush you harboured for him since second year.

Every moment spent in this close proximity only fueled your feelings further, making it increasingly difficult to focus on anything else. Sure, the two of you had always been close and affectionate towards each other, but knowing that you could not easily step away to gather your thoughts if it got too much was kind of terrifying. 

The first problem you ran into was actually eating your dinner. Every time you tried to use your left hand to cut something on your plate, Remus was about to lift his fork to his mouth with his right. It resulted in a lot of food ending up on the floor and a spilled cup of pumpkin juice.

James and Sirius were still confident they would win, making a big show out of feeding each other. Trying to ignore their antics, Remus and you decided to take turns eating. And being the good friend he was, it was your turn first.

As you took your turn to eat, you found yourself stealing glances at Remus, admiring his features, your gaze running along the scar beneath his eye, you became more and more aware of his presence looming next to you, so much closer than normal. Every accidental brush of your hands or shared laughter felt like a sweet torture, stirring up a mix of excitement and nervousness within you.

Trying to hide your growing nerves, you focused on the food in front of you. It was a delicious plate of roasted chicken with savoury sides, but your appetite seemed to have disappeared along with your ability to concentrate. The clinking of the handcuffs against the table kept reminding you of your predicament, a constant reminder of your tangled situation.

As you attempted to cut into your chicken, your movements felt clumsy and awkward. With each failed attempt, a blush crept up your cheeks, aware that your friends were witnessing your struggle. Your heart rate picked up, noticing the knowing grin growing on James' face. 

The spectacled boy was well aware of the feelings you harboured for the scarred boy sitting beside you. The mischievous glint in James' eyes made you almost as nervous as the feeling of Remus's thigh brushing up against yours, afraid about what could be coming out of his mouth.

But Remus, being the understanding friend he was, tried to ease your discomfort. He encouraged you with a warm smile and supportive words, assuring you that it was just a temporary challenge. His kindness only intensified your feelings, making you long for a different kind of connection once again.

Deep down, you wished that the handcuffs weren't a part of some silly bet but rather a catalyst for revealing your true emotions. You yearned for the courage to confess your feelings, but the fear of rejection and the uncertain consequences held you back.

As dinner continued, you and Remus navigated the meal with a combination of shared laughter, understanding glances, and occasional moments of embarrassment. 

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

After dinner, you and the group of Gryffindors navigated your way into the common room. Entering the room last left only one seat left on the couch, and you stopped in your tracks. Remus did not notice you stopping at first, accidentally pulling you along with him. When he noticed your reluctance, he turned to face you, his brows raised in question.

"Where are we going to sit?" you asked, nodding towards the already crowded couch.

He just mentioned towards the small space left unoccupied, fondly rolling his eyes. "Right there?"

"But there's not enough space for both of us. Maybe we can just sit on the floor?" Your face was already heating up again.

Remus playfully pulled you along, sitting down next to Sirius and pulling you onto his lap without any hesitation, causing laughter to fill the room. Your cheeks were burning by now and James teasingly smirking in your direction was not helping.

Soon, your predicament was forgotten as you got comfortable, embracing Remus' warmth against your back. Sirius was challenged to a round of exploding snap by Marlene and the growing frustration at one of his arms being rendered useless was evident on his face.

Amidst the jovial atmosphere, you engaged in light-hearted banter with James, Lily, and Mary. Jokes and witty remarks flew back and forth, adding to the delightful ambiance. The air was filled with laughter and camaraderie as you all shared the amusing predicament you found yourselves in.

Eventually, Remus settled into a comfortable position, retrieving a book from his bag, resting it on your thigh as he started reading. You could not help but be drawn to the sight of him engrossed in the pages, the way his eyes softened as they flew over the words. It felt like a serene moment amid the cheerful chaos.

Seizing the opportunity to share this intimate moment, you snuggled closer, resting your head against Remus's chest. With the book held between you both, you followed along silently, feeling the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. The world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you engrossed in the story.

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

When it was finally time to retire to bed, you follow the boys to their dorm room, feeling a mix of awkwardness and anticipation. The challenge lies in figuring out how to sleep with the handcuffs and the nervousness of sharing a bed with Remus.

Inside the dorm room, you and Remus exchange unsure glances, uncertain of how to navigate the situation. The room is dimly lit, casting a soft glow on the surroundings. As you both settle onto the bed, you realise the closeness between you is both exhilarating and nerve-wracking.

With the handcuffs restraining your movement, you exchange sheepish smiles, contemplating the best way to sleep. Remus, with a gentle and understanding demeanour, suggests lying on your sides, facing each other. It's an unconventional arrangement, but it allows for a level of intimacy that sends a shiver down your spine.

As you lie facing Remus, your heart beats a little faster, unsure of what the night may hold. Closing your eyes, you try to focus on the sounds of your friends breathing as they fell asleep. But with the feeling of Remus' breath hitting your forehead and your hyper awareness of every single one of his movements beneath the shared blanket, you found yourself unable to drift off to sleep.

You were sure Sirius and James were long passed out, considering the loud snoring coming from their side of the room. In this vulnerable moment, Remus's whisper breaks the silence. "Are you awake?"

You hear his voice clearly even though he is being quiet, his face only inches from yours. His breathing is still slow and steady, so you nod in response, not fully trusting your voice as you opened your eyes to find him already looking at you, the moonlight falling in through the window reflecting in his eyes.

His eyes flicker over your face, scanning, as if looking for something. His gaze then lingers on your mouth briefly before returning to your eyes. You wondered if it had really just happened or if you had fallen asleep after all, your subconscious mind dreaming up the affection written over his face. 

He looks back and forth between your eyes and lips again, before leaning forward slightly and pressing his lips softly to yours. Your heart begins to race with excitement, which quickly morphs into butterflies in your stomach. As many times as you had imagined this moment, nothing had even come close to what you were feeling right now, your body warm with desire.

He pulls away first, leaving you breathless as he rests his forehead against yours, a faint smile on his lips. Your fingers find their way up to trace his features, coming to rest on his cheek, fingers lightly tracing the scar you had been admiring earlier that night.

He laughs lightly, a low rumbling sound echoing through the otherwise silent dorm room. It’s lighthearted and endearing, and makes your heart skip a beat. “Was that alright?”

“Yeah. That was perfect,” you mutter in a hushed tone.

Overwhelmed with emotions, you reach out your other hand, and cup Remus's face. The connection between you deepens, and without hesitation, you share another tender, heartfelt kiss. The world outside fades away, leaving only the two of you, locked in this intimate moment.

Unbeknownst to you, James, unable to sleep with Sirius's constant snoring, finds himself frustrated in his own bed. In an impulsive act, he kicks Sirius, causing the other boy to tumble out of the bed they shared.

Sirius awakes with a startled yelp, finding himself face down on the carpet. A quiet clicking sound caught your attention and you felt the handcuff around your wrist loosen. Sitting up to grin at Sirius still sprawled out on the floor, you hold up the handcuffs triumphantly. "Looks like we won the bet."

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[seriousbrat]

I think the prank was a very complex situation, but in my very humble opinion we’re being told that Sirius was in the wrong but because of its specific circumstances the blame can’t be put on Sirius, hence why he never gets punished and therefore doesn’t learn, and Severus is the one who is supposed to be blamed for being nosy.

Exactly, the fact that Sirius gets away with it is more of a technicality than anything. I mean I believe that he was obviously in the wrong because his intent was clear, but you (as in the school) can't punish someone for simply giving information that someone else willingly chose to act on. Especially if (as is my belief) Sirius told him not to go down there and that he'd be too much of a coward to try it. I do imagine Dumbledore never fully trusted Sirius after that, which is why I think he so readily believed he was the spy, but it was more of Tom Riddle situation where he thought Sirius was sus but just kept a "close eye on him."

For the record, if I was Dumbledore I also would not have expelled Sirius, because even though I think what he did was wrong on a personal level, the staff has to be impartial and objective and you can't punish someone for something so insubstantial with no proof. The fact remains that Sev chose to go down there on his own, whether or not he was manipulated is a very complex, maybe impossible thing to prove because it's so subjective. Yes it's kind of unfair, but it would be the same if Sirius manipulated Sev into doing drugs but Sev was caught with the drugs. You wouldn't expect "but he told me where to get them and used reverse psychology!!!" to hold up in court lmao. It's possible to do things that are wrong but aren't actually punishable offences.

And you're right, the fact that he gets away with it means that Sirius really never learnt any kind of lesson from the situation. Even as an adult he clearly doesn't show remorse for it.

[junkiepunkie]

Post-Prank realization -Remus Lupin oneshot

[remus wakes up in the hospital wing post-full moon, brutally hurt and still bleeding, no one is there. Madame Pomfrey is busy with a patient loaded with dragon pox so he excuses himself, saying he needs to go to the loo, and hobbles back up to the gryffindor common room, on the way Snape and him collide]

"oi! Watch where you're..." Remus cut himself off, seeing the petrified, yet slightly sympathetic look thrown by Snape, who looked seven shades too green to be feeling fine "...going... You know what never mind"

Snape gulped heavily, his eyes looked almost glassy upon seeing Remus and his hand was clutching something so agressively in his hand that Remus could see the tension radiate throughout his whole body.

"Snivil- Severus, what is that?" He asked tentatively, in that moment the hatred for Snape faded to increadible concern. He looked like he'd seen a ghost- or well, an unplanned ghost.

The words had no sooner left Remus' mouth than Snape had lunged forward, grabbing Remus' forearm and harshly yanking up his sleeve.

"hey! What the fuck-" an unholy scream wracked Remus' entire body, cutting his complaint short. In that moment Remus turned the same green as Snape. He knew that burn well, dispite the rarity of feeling it, the few times he had had left their scars, just as incurable as those made by his own claws. 

Silver.

Shit.

Now, Remus was smart enough to know that this could only be bad, Snape could tell the whole school, his clueless friends, Snape could probably get Remus expelled.

"I'm not going to tell anyone" He hissed, quiet as a doormouse but with the power of an army.

For the first time in his life, Remus truely felt he understood why Lilly called Snape a great wizard, he had a drive behind his eyes, hidden in all aspects of life apart from his fits of rage. In this moment -though it sickened him to say it- Remus knew Snape could very much kill him. "I'll say nothing because it wasn't your fault, it was theirs, and, though I hate your guts and your friends, I have a slither of respect for you. But don't believe that I'll deny it if anyone asks, and do not test me, because that layer of respect is thin and extremely fragile. Now run along and for the love of god get new friends. See you later, Moony."

Ouch. Both from the silver and Snapes mouth, Ouch.

Remus turned away the second Snape lifted the silver to reveal a burning red knife shaped mark on his arm that Remus knew would not fade for a long time. He all but ran into the fat lady's portrait, spitting out the password as He fled inside. He went straight for the staircase, hoping to make a beeline for his bed and tell the marauders everything, maybe he could even have a cry with Sirius later on, anything to distract him from thoughts of Snape's speech and whatever he meant by 'it wasn't your fault, it was theirs'. Unfortunately for Remus -and his plans for a quiet night in- no sooner was he up the stairs to his dorm than Sirius was dashing past, sobbing his grey eyes out as if someone had died. Shit what if someone's died. Remus groaned at the thought. Today was not the day. Despite Remus' urge to ignore all commotion and just try and sleep off the sting of silver, this was Sirius and he needed to make sure he was ok. Immediately. Remus turned on his heel and went to follow after his friend/sexual tension partner/much needed emotional crutch, but James had his arm out, blocking Remus from descending any further as Sirius dashed from the common room, quicker than Remus had ever seen him.

"James move! I want to check that he's ok!" Remus exclaimed, anger slowly bubbling due to a mix of his increadibly rough full moon and the Snape commotion.

James continued to hold Remus back, both boys thankful that the common room was abandoned at this early sunday hour. 

"listen mate, we- erm- well, you'd better sit down" James stated. A few steps down Peter nodded sadly, too afraid to speak lest the words come out wrong.

Remus laughed coldly

"you're telling me! I just saw Snape and look what the cock did!" he rolled up his sleeve as he finally caved and let James lead him up the stairs. He was cluttering at almost indecipherable speeds "you know what that means right? Snape knows! James, Snape knows what I am and-"

"i know Remus... Remus if you'd just listen-"

"and then he had the fucking nerve to somehow blame you guys! Like what the fuck even was that?! Fucking batshit am I right?!?"

"REMUS!" James exclaimed, quickly catching himself and swallowing thickly as though it would help him develop some very called for empathy and patience. "Moony... Mate... It is our fault, or, well.."

"its Sirius" Pete butted in. Turning vivid pink as he realized what he'd done. Turning on his heel he exited the room.

Remus breathed shakily and sat on the edge of his bed, the forgotten aches caused by the injuries he suffered the night before hitting him like a ton of bricks. The entire right row of broken ribs and his fucked up calf were now gruelingly aparent. 

"what did Pete mean? How could Sirius be responsible for me being a werewolf?! That’s just dumb” he laughed nervously.

James closed his eyes and took in a deep breathed, before talking. Remus did the same but It seemed to do nothing.

"Remus, you know that none of us were there last night don't you?" he started "well, thats a lie, Pete was -and he tried his best- but a rat and a werewolf.. It didn't make much difference. After two hours he knew It was better to just leave"

Remus wanted to interrupt, say that he was fine with no one coming because It wasn't their responsibility to look after him and, if thats why Sirius is upset then he should know that it’s fine. He wanted to say all that and more, but he didn't, he just sat and listened.

"well, we were coming, we really were, only Sirius told us there was something he had to do first and, well, he'd had an argument with Snape earlier that day and something didn't feel right, so I decided i'd wait for Sirius before I followed Pete into the whomping willow." Remus nodded along, although he really wasn't sure where this could possibly be going.

"he turned up an hour after the full moon came up, I- well I had to listen to you screaming the whole time while I couldn't do anything about It like i usually would, so i was pissed off when he showed up, more so when i realised he'd brought Snape. And way way more so when i saw him show Snape the knot on the tree..."

If Remus could rank pain, silver would be an 8.5, transformation would have to be a 9. But this.. This implication, the silence in which Remus realised what had happened last night, the moment in which his whole would came crumbling down around him and everything made such painful sense. Well, this was a clear ten. 

Dispite this, James continued.

"So I jumped in, just as Snape was about to follow Sirius, I screamed that he had to leave when Sirius turned back and started telling Snape It was all fine, that It was just you studying in there. I- well, I tried to think on my feet, so I petrified Snape and I- I punched Sirius in the face, kicked him too, started proper fucking him up. He started crying and I was going to leave him and join you, but Pete came out and me and him had to carry Snivelous back in. But Remus before I petrified Snape we all heard you howl and- well…"

Remus bit his gum hard and forced himself to adopt an eerily calm demeanor . He sat and breathed and waited for James to say something, anything, but he didn't. Dispite himself Remus closed his eyes and asked the only question that mattered to him, the one question he wanted to ask. Unfortunately, It would be the one that hurt him the most.

"is he alright?" the question was caring and quiet, but the tone was scathing.

"what?" James asked, stunned.

"Sirius. Was he ok?" 

James faltered, pausing for a long time before answering, when he did his voice was soft. As If he was talking about someone dead. To Remus he might aswell have been.

"eh, I knocked him out, broke his nose. When he woke up this morning It look him a while to even remember what happened. When he did he freaked right out, you saw him, he's-"

"James humour me and just tell me he's alright" Remus snapped, the calm had gone now and in its place was rage.

James did that singular breathy chuckle one does when shocked and frustrated before speaking.

"alright, moony, physically he is fine"

Remus nodded meekly and collapsed back so that he was strewn across his bed. James followed his lead, laying himself directly beside Remus on the bed. In a moment of solidarity the two boys elbowed eachother, both offering the other a weak unhappy smile. Remus had said It once and he'll say It as many times as he could: James Potter is a fantastic friend.

As soon as the moment of content came, It was gone, both boys letting out defeated sighs as they turned to look at eachother, no funny buisness, just words and two pairs of honest eyes.

"I'm going to hate him forever now, you know?" Remus stated. It was true, he could never see things going back to how they were ever again. Sirius had gone and fucked It up, all of It.

James smiled again, a small, sad smile, but there was an undetectable trace of some genuine happieness.

"maybe you’ll hate him, but you'll forgive him eventually Moony." he said, as though it were plain as day.

Remus raised his brows in unfriendly challenge.

"I will not. He's fucking ruined it all James. This is- I mean, it's unforgivable!"

James nodded "oh yeah no, it's the worst thing he's ever done. It was dangerous and inconsiderate and down right psycho and he deserves no mercy, but let me ask you this Remus. Tell me why I think him 'ruining it all' means more to you than if I were to do the exact same thing he did?"

Remus sat bolt upright, the crushing pain in his chest strinking him as insignificant at that moment in time.

"what’s that meant to mean?" he asked defensively

James smirked as he too sat up. The smirk he gave was still tinged with unhappieness, but now there was a slight playfullness behind it.

"it means Moony, that I don't think that your friendship with me and Pete makes you feel the same as-"

"of course it makes me feel the same! Why wouldn't it, we're all good mates -great mates- we're family! I feel equally about all of you! So don't be- don't be so fucking daft Prongs! What was that even supposed to mean?!? Haha" Remus was panicking, badly. His hands were sweaty and his heart was all but palpatating. He could feel the green colour from earlier making a comeback.

James' face returned to its previous state of severity but his eyes stayed kind, welcoming. They were an ocean of comfort against his deadly serious features. He seemed to manage to make his face both intimidating and strict while also staying reliable and homely. He never once looked away from Remus as he took his hand in his, giving it a much needed reassuring squeeze.

"it means that I see the way you look at him when he can't see you. And I hear how to hum his favourite song when he's not around. I notice when you wait for him to agree to things before you make up your mind, and i've seen how he can calm you down when you're about to change on a full moon and you cry" He said each word gently, never letting go of Remus' hand, even when Remus began to tear up in fear that he'd be rejected

"He's your Lilly" he continued "and Moony -Remus- that is absolutely fine by me."

Wow. Hearing those words, not feeling any loss of contact dispite what James now knew, it triggered a full on breakdown. Remus collapsed into James' arms like a bundle of rags, his head resting on James' shoulder as his body wracked up and down violently. James didn't hesitate to hug Remus tight into his chest, patting his back as he cried and humming gently in an attempt to calm him down. Remus recognised the song "love reign o'er me" by the who, one of Sirius' favourites. It should have made his blood boil, but It didn't, not at all, no it just made the poor boy tired, so much so that he calmed down almost instantainiously. James sighed happily as Remus' sobs faded to cries, the whimpers before dying completely, leaving him just breathing shakily.

"this doesn't change anything James" Remus spoke up after a while longer being cradled by his friend, for once in his life feeling a sense of platonic understanding. "I'm still dead set on hating Sirius"

James smiled "thats fine Moony"

"and you know we're not dating" Remus yawned, his eyes fluttering closed, blinks becoming slower and slower.

"still fine Remus" 

"and the fact I like him, and that I'm gay doesn't mean i'll put this all behind me" Remus eyes shut fully now, his words turning to soft mumbles "anyway, he doesn't like me and now I don't like him. So we're even..."

"still fine Remus," James looked down at the sleeping boy in his arms and moved to gently lay the boy down so he could sleeping properly. "but just so you know sleepyhead, i've also seen how he looks at you when you can't see him"

Remus didn't hear that last sentence, and if he did he probably wouldn't have believed it, but James knew that it was a fact that made all the difference, whether Remus knew it or not. Remus may be stubborn, but Sirius was more so, he would try to make this better until Remus cracked and let him.

That night, Sirius limped back in to the dorm, eyes red and puffy, one stained purple and black from the night before. The first thing asked was how Remus was doing. James had only just begun to explain how Remus was first defeated and then angry, and how his chest seemed dented from his rough night, when Sirius snapped and said:

"James humour me and just tell me he's alright!"

James could have laughed. Yeah, he thought, everything was going to be just fine.

[sideprince]

I've been thinking a lot about this incredible meta which I'm linking because it's a long post, that started off examining the scene in the Shrieking Shack in PoA from Snape's perspective (and then went very deep in incredibly, insightful ways - thank you @shakespearean-snape for recommending it! I'm almost done reading it...). The thing I keep coming back to is the way that Snape had no idea that Lupin wasn't in on the prank. Maybe I've just gotten too immersed in discussions around how Sirius used his friend as a weapon without his consent, but the other side of that is that Snape had no way of knowing this, and no reason to think Lupin wasn't in on it, especially as we're given reason to think Lupin had bullied him too, at least up until that point (which I'll get to in a minute). This is shown most clearly through this exchange:

“So that’s why Snape doesn’t like you,’ said Harry slowly, ‘because he thought you were in on the joke?’ ‘That’s right,’ sneered a cold voice from the wall behind Lupin. Severus Snape was pulling off the Invisibility Cloak, his wand pointing directly at Lupin.

Lupin isn't able to get a word in edgewise after that, but when his patience is tested and he finally speaks up, he merely says,

“You fool,’ said Lupin softly. ‘Is a schoolboy grudge worth putting an innocent man back inside Azkaban?”

triggering Snape by calling him foolish and referring to his trauma as a schoolboy grudge.

We see in SWM that Lupin observes James and Sirius bullying Snape but doesn't actively participate, but we also see in PoA that when Snape tries to work the Marauders' Map, the imprint Lupin left of himself taunts him openly in a direct and personal way:

“Mr Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people’s business.”

It's implied that Lupin contributed to Snape's bullying more actively before the prank and maybe less so after (possibly reasons for this are in the post linked above).

Then there's this exchange between Lupin and Sirius, which takes place after Snape enters the room under the invisibility cloak, but before he reveals himself:

“Sirius here played a trick on [Snape] which nearly killed him, a trick which involved me -‘ Black made a derisive noise. ‘It served him right,’ he sneered. ‘Sneaking around, trying to find out what we were up to … hoping he could get us expelled …”

Whatever excuses antis might make for Black having tried to kill Snape when he was just 16 (or 15?), here he is as a fully grown adult responsible for his actions and well aware of the meaning and horror of death, and yet he's still doubling down and saying that it would have served Snape right, though he was still technically a child, to be killed just because he was nosy. It also underlines Lupin's lack of consent in the prank that he uses a passive voice to describe his own role, ie. that Black was the one to play the "trick" and that it involved him (Lupin), instead of describing it as something they had done together.

I find this to be the biggest contrast between Snape and Sirius - they have both seen darkness and suffered trauma and deep, deep losses as a result of where their lives ended up in ways that run parallel. Both lost their best friends and feel guilty for causing their death. Sirius feels guilt because his choice to abdicate his role as secret keeper resulted in James' death though his intention had been the opposite, and Snape feels guilt because he was the reason Voldemort went targeted and killed Lily, though that had not been his intention. Over a decade later, Snape has become a person who, while emotionally stunted in some ways, has changed his values and ethics and we see him become someone who doesn't harm Sirius even when he's vulnerable and unconscious, and who we later find out values life regardless of whose it is. Sirius, on the other hand, emerges from his own experiences at the same time to a place where he seems to be in a suspended adolescence in most ways and still feels it would be justified to cause Snape's death for being nosy. While it can be argued that Sirius, at this point in PoA is still experiencing his trauma actively as an escaped convict, I think it can also be argued that as someone who has seen and experienced the very real impacts of loss and darkness, it seems petty, vindictive, and skewed for him to still hold a grudge against a former schoolmate with the same intensity as he did before these experiences. ie. that most people, having seen the horrors of war, will think back on their perspectives of death and revenge as their old pre-traumatized self experienced them, and see the naïveté and childishness.

Therefore when Lupin says, "Is a schoolboy grudge worth putting an innocent man back inside Azkaban?” it feels ironic, given that Snape is acting on the urge to protect Harry and his friends from a man who not only showed his willingness to murder as a child but has doubled down on that choice as an adult just minutes earlier, and a literal werewolf who at no point has defended himself and made clear that he was not actively involved in planning the prank that could have resulted in Snape's death. Sirius, meanwhile, is right there, still immersed in his schoolboy grudge and filled with hatred for Snape who he must know by this point had been a spy for Dumbledore. After all, if he was aware from what he overheard in Azkaban that Peter had been the spy, then he must have also been aware that Snape had been one as well, given that Dumbledore said so openly in a courtroom full of people, including loose-tongued prisoners like Karkaroff.

That scene in the Shrieking Shack is so complex and laden with so much once you know the characters' backstories. There's also an interesting progression in the three times that we know Snape to be in the Shrieking Shack: the first time he nearly dies, the second time he's knocked unconscious, and the third time he does die. As a tragic character who spends much of the story willingly sacrificing himself it's almost as though Rowling is showing Snape to be going towards his death again and again until it's finally time.

[cinnamontoastcrunch-15]

If Only You could Look into my Eyes and See that I Still Love You

Burnout is KICKING MY ASS so have a oneshot I wrote before I completely ran out of ideas while I try to finish my WIPs (I promise they’ll be out soon!!)

Warning: it’s a post prank oneshot

Remus stirred slowly, feeling like he’d clawed his way up from the depths of an ocean, rather than a shallow dive that his unconsciousness usually left him with. He leaves his eyes shut for a moment, taking in the hospital wing around him for a moment. Something felt… off.

The first thing he noticed was Sirius’ absence.

He could always feel Sirius’ presence, especially straight after a full moon, and he was always there. Never missed a moon. With a swirl of dread, he realised what that meant. Something had gone seriously wrong.

The second thing he noticed was that he was in pain.

Everything in him was aching more than normal, his head pounding, a lot of new slashes stinging his body, and his leg feeling a lot like it did when Poppy had healed a broken bone, even though it had been a while since he’d felt that, the only description being nostalgic. Not a pleasant nostalgia, but nostalgia all the same.

The panic that the unfamiliar pain brought him was enough for him to fling his eyes open, going to sit straight up and immediately regretting it. Almost instantly, a hand reached out and pressed against his chest, pushing him back down slowly. Remus turned to find James and Peter sat there, James having stood up to help Remus sit slower. James adjusted the pillows carefully, letting Remus rest against them and sitting back down.

“Careful, Moony. Gave us a scare.” James said, with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. It threw Remus off a little, concerning him. If James couldn’t hide something then it was big. It was bad.

Shit.

Remus glanced between the two of them carefully.

“Something happened last night, didn’t it?” He asked, Peter shifting a little uncomfortably in his seat as James’ smile died. Okay, he was right, that’s one thing. It only increased the sense of dread deep in his stomach. Not having any memory of the moons only made his own concern worse, that small reminder that he was dangerous gnawing at him. “Did anyone get hurt?” His voice was filled with concern, he couldn’t hold it back as his mind ran through every scenario under the sun.

“…you.” James said, almost like it should have been obvious, and Remus bit back an eye roll.

“Other than me.” James shook his head, and Remus felt himself breathing a little easier.

“Not in the end, no.”

In the end? What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

“Well then… what happened? And where’s Sirius?” James’ brow furrowed further, and Remus wanted to be swallowed whole. He was in pain and tired, and they weren’t just coming out and telling him what happened.

“It’s, uh… it’s actually about Sirius. He- fuck, I don’t know how to say this.” James said, eyes sliding shut as he took a deep, shaking breath. “He told Snape. About the Whomping Willow. Snape, he- he went down there and, well… Snape knows.” James spoke in a rush, and Remus could feel his heart drop further and further into his stomach, through his legs, almost to his feet, icy cold shock slowly spreading down over him.

No.

No, there was no way.

Of all of the many, many scenarios running through his mind, none of them involved Sirius doing anything to hurt him, because he wouldn’t.

James was watching Remus’ frown deepen, and Remus had never seen James at a loss for words before. Remus had so many questions, but thankfully, Peter stepped in, getting through the rest of it.

“James stopped him, and got him straight to Dumbledore. I’ve got no fucking clue what Dumbledore said to him, but he’s not going to tell anyone, so you’re not expelled. Sirius is with Professor McGonnagal and Dumbledore now.”

“I told them to boot him off the Quidditch team.” James said, fists clenching. “He’s not coming back, not after that.”

“I- no, he- he wouldn’t, Sirius wouldn’t.” It was the first thing Remus could think to say, because he just wouldn’t. Not Sirius.

Not when they had just started to really define what they were. After months of stolen glances, of stolen touches. After that kiss on the astronomy tower. After Remus had finally confessed that he had feelings for Sirius, and Sirius had said he did too. After everything, he wouldn’t turn around and betray him. It wasn’t possible.

“Did they- is Sirius expelled? What about- they can’t send him back to his family, right?” It wasn’t a question Remus had expected to ask, but it happened. He couldn’t stop himself from asking it. James shrugged.

“I don’t think they are expelling him, no.”

“Right, okay, yeah. That’s good.” Because he hadn’t done anything, he’d never. Even if he had, which he hadn’t, nobody deserved the family Sirius had.

“I- Moony, are you alright?” James whispered, as Remus seemed to reach a conclusion. It couldn’t be happening. With that, he went to get up, ignoring the stabbing pain in his hip as both James and Peter stood to stop him. “Hey, hey hey, you need to rest, lay back down.” James wasn’t advising, he was telling, but Remus wouldn’t listen.

“No, I- I need to hear this from him, let me-“

“Remus, Peter was the only one there last night, okay? You’re really hurt. If Madame Pomfrey sees you trying to leave-“

“Remus John Lupin, what on earth are you doing?” Too late. Poppy marched over to him, hands on her hips. “You are going to get back into that bed and you are going to sleep. If you’re well enough, you can leave later.”

“No, Poppy, please, you don’t- I need to see Sirius.” Her face softened considerably, then, walking over to him, grabbing both of his arms and gently pushing him into the bed. He couldn’t fight her, he never could.

“I know what happened, lovely, but you need rest. I can’t let you go now, not in good conscience. Professor McGonnagal will sort everything out, just focus on yourself for a while, okay?” Remus wanted to scream. Seeing Sirius was focusing on himself, because he didn’t believe it. He wanted Sirius to walk in and say everything was just some big misunderstanding, but if he couldn’t have that, he needed to find him. Poppy shoved a potion into his hand. “Drink this.” The command was back, and Remus wanted to argue, but he didn’t have the energy. Just trying to get out of the bed was draining, and while the adrenaline was enough to keep him awake, it wasn’t enough for him to disobey. He glanced at the potion. Sleeping. Maybe if he drank it, let himself be dragged into a hazy unconsciousness, then everything would be fine when he woke up. Sirius would be there, and everything would be okay.

-

It took hours for him to drift back from his deep sleep, already feeling better than he had the first time. For a few moments he remained blissfully unaware of everything that had happened, letting himself wake up slowly. Until everything that James and Peter had said sunk in for the second time, and the same cold trickle of shock started at his head and slowly travelled down the back of his neck and his spine. He felt like he wasn’t in his own body, then, refusing to process fully. Not until he had spoken to Sirius.

Once he had forced his eyes open and propped himself up in his bed, James and Peter no longer sat beside him, Poppy walked over.

“Remus. I would keep you here overnight, but due to the… circumstances, if you’re feeling alright, you can leave. If you’d like to.” She added onto the end.

Part of Remus really didn’t want to. Part of him wanted to stay in his bubble of uncertainty, where he could convince himself that it wasn’t true, it didn’t happen. Still, his anxiety kept getting worse, growing every second, and he knew that another part of him, a much bigger part, wanted to get out of the wing, march right up to Sirius and have him scrunch up his nose in that way of his and say of course it isn’t true, he would never do that to him, especially not now.

Despite the sinking feeling that was convincing him that he wasn’t going to hear that, he settled on that option, swinging his legs out of the bed and going to get changed out of the hospital gown. Poppy left, shutting the curtains behind her and leaving Remus to his thoughts. James wasn’t one to lie, especially not about something like that, and they both seemed particularly distraught, but Remus couldn’t even imagine what he would do if Sirius nodded, said he did it. Something had happened, and Snape knew. He knew. Remus just needed to know how, and for Sirius not to be the one who told him.

With that, Remus shoved the curtains open, waved to Madame Pomfrey and left the hospital wing, walking quickly to the dorm. If Sirius wasn’t there, the map would be. He would find Sirius if it killed him.

Thankfully, it didn’t take long. The moment he had started up the stairs to get to Gryffindor Common Room, James and Peter must have spotted him, catching up quickly.

“Moony, did Madame Pomfrey already let you go?”

“Yeah. Need to talk to Sirius.”

“Are you sure that’s the best idea right now, he’s-“

“I need to.” James and Peter exchanged an uncomfortable glance, clearly expecting carnage, but Remus wasn’t. Remus was expecting Sirius to reassure him, because what else could he do?

“Right, okay.” Peter agreed, James nodding. That didn’t seem to defer them from following him there, though. They followed him through the portrait hole, following a chastising from the fat lady, and up to the dorm. “He’s in there-“

“Saves me some time, then.” Remus answered simply, shoving the door open and freezing almost as soon as he got inside. Sirius was sat on his bed, jumping a mile at the sound of the door and immediately standing. His eyes widened at the sight of Remus.

“Moony! You- I thought you’d be in the hospital wing for longer. Are you- are you okay?” Remus took a moment to just watch him.

Sirius was playing with his hands, fidgeting awkwardly, nervous. His eyes were red, pretty puffy, he’d clearly been crying, even as he tried to act like he hadn’t, causing a slightly painful tug in Remus’ heart, and he was more closed off than normal. It was enough for the dread that Remus had been trying his best to ignore to grow ever so slightly. He could see James glaring at Sirius from the corner of his eye, and Remus had to say something then.

“You-“ His voice cracked, and he was stunned by how stressed he sounded. He felt more together than he sounded, because he was so sure that Sirius hadn’t done it. Of course he hadn’t. “You didn’t actually tell him, did you?”

The silence was deafening.

Remus watched Sirius swallow slowly, eyes darting over Remus’ face and just missing meeting Remus’ eye. Remus’ own eyes flicked down to Sirius’ hands, only to find that they were shaking, and when he glanced back up there were tears in Sirius’ eyes.

“Moony, listen. It was- I didn’t mean- he-“

“Did you- did you tell him or not?” Remus snapped, arms folding to hide the fact that he felt like he was going to fall apart. Sirius fixed his gaze to the floor and nodded once, almost invisibly.

That one small gesture was enough to tear Remus’ world down.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered, and suddenly Remus couldn’t breathe. It was like someone had taken his entire foundation, the only sense of safety he had, the only thing he was ever sure in, and turned it on its head, taken it away from him, some cruel, cruel joke designed for the sake of his suffering.

Fuck.

He felt sick. He wanted to pass out, everything in him starting to tingle, head spinning as the lights became too bright and his own breathing became too loud. His ears were ringing, everything in him protesting and protesting, because it was Sirius. Not Sirius.

Fuck.

Sirius had done the one thing Remus had never thought he would do. He had taken the part of Remus, something that he was inevitably tied to for eternity, and instead of holding it close, he had handed the secret straight to the one person who wanted him gone. Almost fucking killed him in the process. Never in Remus’ life could he have expected Sirius to weaponise the thing Remus had expected him to protect. He fucking tore himself apart every month, and instead of seeing it as something to resolve, Sirius saw it as something to use. To twist and manipulate and use to his advantage, to get payback on someone.

Remus felt his hands start to shake, but he really wasn’t sure whether it was anger or sadness, whether he was going to scream or cry.

The answer seemed to be neither, then.

“I- christ, I’m going- shit.” He breathed, turning and leaving quickly. James and Peter went to follow him, but Remus didn’t want to be followed. It was like he was being suffocated. He slammed the door behind him, everything inside him bubbling until he didn’t know what to do with it. It was like he was going to burst, the gravity of everything falling on him.

He couldn’t go back to the dorm, the common room was too public, he had no clue where to go. So he just… walked. Trying to somehow walk everything out of him, looking for somewhere he couldn’t be followed.

Stumbling across the room of requirement was an accident. The perfect accident, though, because he could ask for whatever he wanted.

He paced in front of it quickly, asking the same thing and hoping that nobody was going to catch up to him while he did so.

‘I need a place the marauders can’t get to.’

In a matter of seconds, a door was standing in place of the blank wall, and Remus shoved it open quickly, slamming it shut behind him and feeling comforted by the knowledge that he would be able to process on his own.

The room was vast and airy, with a sofa pressed against the wall and a chest directly beside it. Okay, cold air, that was helping a little, as he paced quickly, trying to figure out what the fuck he was feeling.

Besides the fact that anger, resentment and shock were balling up inside him, and he could feel the denial slowly melting away to make place for sadness, there was something else rearing it’s ugly head that Remus really didn’t want to think about. A small voice telling him that he should have seen it coming, that he was so caught up in his feelings that Sirius probably didn’t even reciprocate that he couldn’t see the part of Sirius that was fully prepared to turn around and stab him in the back.

Christ, he felt sick. So fucking sick, he needed more air, he was being smothered by-

“Moony?”

Shit.

James.

He tried the door handle, which thankfully didn’t let him in. Good old room of requirement.

“Did he lock it?” Peter’s voice rang out quietly, and Remus shook his hands, trying to get some of the agitation out of his system so he didn’t scream.

Fuck it.

He threw a silencing charm over the space and let himself go, feeling everything raise inside him and release in a guttural scream, eyes screwed shut. It was actually happening, it was real. Silence settled back over the space, Remus lifting the silencing charm quickly, feeling the weight of the charm lift, back into the light airy space it had been before.

That’s was when he heard Lily.

“Hey, what’s going on? Is Remus in there?” Fuck, he didn’t think about Lily, she could probably get through the door.

“How did you…?” James started, and Remus could almost feel Lily rolling her eyes.

“Remus came storming out of the boys dorms and out the common room and you lot came running after with the map in your hands, so I figured something was wrong. Just followed you.” She answered casually, before raising her voice just a little for Remus’ benefit. “Remus, can I come in? Listen, I have no clue what’s going on, but you seemed really upset, and I don’t know that you should be alone. I won’t speak if you don’t want me to, just… don’t isolate yourself? Yeah?”

Something in Remus knew that the door would open for her, and he also knew that she was right, unfortunately.

“S’open.” Remus called half heartedly. “Just for you, though.” He couldn’t talk to James and Peter about any of it. Not yet.

The door clicked open gently, Remus bouncing on his heels when she walked in. She smiled tentatively at him, shutting the door behind her.

“Hey.” Remus watched her move to the sofa, dropping down on it and keeping her eyes on him.

“Hi.” He didn’t stop his pacing, and she didn’t speak for a while as she let him move around the room until his hip physically wouldn’t let him anymore. He felt it twinge, pausing and pressing his hand against the wall. Without missing a beat, Lily was at his side and helping him get to the sofa, the two of them sitting side by side in silence.

Remus could feel himself losing his composure more and more every second, and as Lily wrapped an arm around his shoulder he crumbled. The tears came before he knew what had happened, breaking down into deep, heavy sobs. It had clearly quite thrown Lily, but she didn’t hesitate in gently moving her hand up and down Remus’ arm, letting him lean and rest his head against hers, unable to stop the flow of crying that had started.

“Hey, it’s okay, you’re alright.” Lily murmured, just letting him cry until he couldn’t cry anymore. It was slightly cathartic, letting him mourn the fact that his friend, his best friend, the first person he’d ever loved had taken his biggest secret and used it for his advantage. A secret Lily didn’t know.

Fuck it. If Snape knew, then Remus had to tell Lily before he got to her.

The moment his ragged breathing had slowed and he could get words out, he decided that there was no time like the present. If she ran, then she ran, and there was nothing he could do about it. He’d already lost Sirius, he would rather lose Lily on his terms than on Severus’.

“Lils, I-“ he pulled away and glanced at her. “Have you talked to Sni- Severus, today?” She frowned and shook her head.

“Haven’t properly spoken to him in a while. Why?”

“He might- he probably will tell you something, soon, but I just- I want you to hear it from me.”

“Remus, what is it?” She asked, brow furrowing in concern as her open green eyes searched his amber ones.

“You can’t tell anyone, okay? And- and everything’s safe. 100% safe.” With that, he took a deep breath and tried to make sure he could actually get the words out. “I’m- I’ve got lycanthropy. I’m a werewolf.” He watched as her eyes widened, and he waited for her to up and leave, expecting disgust to flit across her face. Instead, her gaze became determined, and she nodded.

“I won’t tell a soul.” She promised, and Remus felt himself fall apart again, knowing that she was a safe place for him. That meant he could tell her the rest.

“Sirius- Sirius told Snape, he- he fucking-just when I thought he-“ Remus got out through stuttered breaths, and he felt Lily stiffen a little.

“I’m so sorry, Remus. You don’t deserve that.” She murmured, with only made Remus cry harder, the one thought he had been ignoring circling through his mind over and over, repeating with every beat of his heart.

I love him.

[crazybutgood]

hi there! thank you for all your lovely words and posts, you're one of my fav hp tumblr blogs atm!

i was wondering if you've ever ready a wolfstar fic where r never forgave s after the prank. i feel like i've read something like that before, but i also had an idea to write it wanted to see what has been done before. anyways, thanks again!

Hello nonnie! You’re very sweet, thank you 🥺❤️

Here are some recs for you!:

Prompt fill for this concept by @ashes-and-ashes 

can you write angst on the prank but remus hears sirius cry after receiving a letter and tried to forgive him? 

Where Loyalties Lie by liebedance (on LJ) (PG/PG 13, about 5,700)

Sirius’ betrayal almost tears them apart. Peter is confused, Remus is hurt, and James has never been more angry in his life. 

What Have You Done? by shadwbrokr (T, 713) 

The aftermath of the Prank shatters Remus.

What We Do To Get By by @theresthesnitch (E, 59532)

Following the Prank, Remus was outed as a werewolf and then expelled. He disappeared from the Marauders’ lives. This is the story of how they found him again.

you know you really made me hate myself by @amethyst-writer (NR, 438)

Despite all the time they’d spent together, Sirius had never made Remus truly angry. Pissed off, sure. Sad? All the bloody time.

But this was different.

This was a ‘different’ that Sirius didn’t think he could fix.

What You Would Have Made Me by blankspacefiller (NR, 1345)

Can you ever forgive someone for something, even if they regret it?

Or

Remus confronts Sirius on a cold night, after The prank happened. He’s not happy. 

honey, honey by missyoumoony (G, 769)

Sirius misses Remus, so he writes him a letter.

Fortress by @shipsgaysfordays (T, 421)

Short little post prank microfic from my tumblr from those tumblr prompts.

I also recommend checking out this link I've filtered for you here, leading to more works if you'd like to sift through and explore different types of takes on this!

Additionally, since you said you want to write this, I came across this essay (part 1 | part 2) that might be interesting~

Happy reading! And as always, please check the tags :) Also, good luck with writing if you go ahead with it!

[blitheringmcgonagall]

Thank you @abihastastybeans @msalexwp @uncertainwallflower and @soloorganaas ! I loved all your versions 🥰🥰🥰!!!

rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. if you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway💗💗

1. “Ah,” a pause. “How do you do, Evans?” From Snow Cherubs & Delayed Deer

Basically - pining Jily with Prongs making a hames of everything… one-shot

2. “Where were you on the night of the twenty- nineth of September…. Sir Grimmauld, I mean…” Remus cleared his throat. From A Little Risk

Remus Lupin Detective Inspector investigates a murder at the Duke & Duchess of Grimmauld’s manor. Lily Evans is a Private Investigator. Dr James Potter & the eldest son of the duke, Sirius Black, are suspects… who is the murderer, and is Snape my most horrible version? Wolfstar &Jily, multichapter, completed.

3. “The weirdo is following you, Lily,” Mary hisses under her breath, sounding mildly disgusted. From I’m Not in Love

Pining Jily idiots, one-shot

4. Sirius will never forget this day. From This Is The Way The World Ends

Remus Lupin’s lycanthropy catches up with him. Seriously angsty, made you cry etc. Wolfstar, multichapter, completed.

5. “I told him. I told Snivellus about the Whomping Willow, how to get past it,” Sirius’ voice a dull whisper as he turned away towards the window. From BLAME

A Marauders What If...?

What if James had been blamed for the Prank?

What if he got expelled at the end of Fifth Year?

What if there was never a Lily Evans and James Potter, Head Boy and Head Girl? If they parted enemies, if they never got together in their final year in Hogwarts? What if the marauders lost James? What then? Jily & Wolfstar, WIP

6. “Hi Moony!” Lily called from the sitting room, where she lay on the couch with her long legs tucked under herself. From Wedding Nerves

Lily, the night before her wedding - spent with the marauders. Marauders and Lily brotp

7. “Fuck!” Remus bit down hard on his lip to stop himself screaming with the pain. From Agony/Bliss

Remus is a lovestruck fool, pining after Sirius Black, unattainable, pitiful. Angst & then fluff, 2/2 chapters, completed.

8. The Summer holidays loomed over him, like a tsunami. From Boys Don’t Cry

There is silence as Remus looks at him. A suffocating stillness that is anything but calm. There is punishment and absence there, hanging between them, a hurt so thick he thinks he could slice it open. His chest aches with how hard he is pushing down the need to cry. He wishes Remus would yell at him, scream at him, pummel him senseless. He thinks there could be goodness trapped somewhere inside him, somewhere deeper than the need to bawl. He thinks if anyone could find it, it would be this lanky boy.

Angst & drama - aka the prank and why Sirius did what he did. 5/5 chapters, completed. Pre relationship Wolfstar & Jily

9. “Congrats, Potter!” From Tight Quidditch Uniforms & Other Distressing Things

“Come on, Evans, don’t be a coward,” Sirius Black’s grey eyes flashing, full of challenge.

“Look. I’m glad he’s happy, I’m not lying, alright? I just... I just wish I was the one making him happy. Satisfied?”

She sighed and poured herself another drink. She couldn’t believe she had just said it. Must be the alcohol.

“That’s my girl, a true Gryffindor,” Sirius said, his grey eyes alight now, twinkling dangerously.

“If you fucking say a word to him, I swear to you-“

Or

Sirius Black has to Do Things to make Jily happen...

(Jily, Sirius is the best wingman, fluff 2/2 finished)

10. “Hold still for a minute!” From Wildflowers

Jily fluff, wildflower garlands, sweetness but then… Jily, fluff & angst, one-shot

Tagging if you want to: @mollymarymarie @theresthesnitch @mppmaraudergirl @engie-ivy @steelycunt @jennandblitz @stonecoldhedwig @midnightelite @mabeltothknows @startanewdream @maraudersftw @the-dream-team @squintclover @wearingaberetinparis @therealrjlupin @dizzy--bird @enbysiriusblack @aqua-myosotis and anyone else who wants to!!

[slytherwrites]

it's me, hi (i’m the problem it’s me)

Summary: There are several, indisputable facts of the world. But the one that rings true in between Sirius’ ears is that he always takes it too far. Or, Sirius has a chat with a person who cares about people in the rival house a little too much.

Characters: Sirius Black and Emmeline Vance

Warnings: None

Rating: G

There are several, indisputable facts of the world. But the one that rings true in between Sirius’ ears is that he always takes it too far.

It was supposed to be a fun joke, a quick scare so that Severus didn’t creep around them, destroying all the work they’ve accomplished, while somehow maintaining a sense of superiority when he cannot even keep the one friend who’s been by his side for years.

Honestly, he was doing him a favor. If he was going to be a werewolf, then he wouldn’t be able to be a Death Eater. And maybe Lily might take pity on him. She’s always liked charity cases.

Sirius haphazardly kicks the muggle ball throughout the halls of Hogwarts. Peter and Remus are in Arithmancy and James refuses to speak to him still, taking fucking Severus’ side in all of this. “I could have died! I could have been turned! This is a blatant attack and he deserves to be expelled! The two of them! All four of them!” Sirius whines in his imitation of Severus, making himself uppity and nasally in the same way he does when imitating all Slytherins. 

Honestly, the world would be better without a fair amount of him.

A couple of kids—second years, if Sirius was to guess—look at him and whisper. He’s the Black heir, somehow in Gryffindor and yet a social pariah now that he decided to have a little fun. Well sue him. Hell, he has the money. And his mother wouldn’t even be too mad, torturing a halfblood and using a halfbreed to do it.

Sirius Black turns down the quieter hall, letting the ball roll across the floor and not noticing when it bounces against the ankles of some girl in heeled Mary Janes.

“Looks like someone’s in a bad mood.” Sirius looks up to see the statuesque face of Emmeline Vance. Her straight black hair is pushed back with a headband and her face is devoid of makeup, even eyeliner, which Sirius refuses to be seen without anymore. She wears the Slytherin uniform as if it’s lucky she’s graced it with her body and she holds the ball with one hand and her books with the other.

“Give me the ball.”

“No.” Emmeline says, “What’s wrong.”

“Emmeline, come on.” Sirius isn’t really friends with her, but he knows that she’s just being a bitch right now and that the ball couldn’t have hurt, “I just want the football.”

“What’s wrong?” Emmeline holds it above her head, making it tower over Sirius. Curse tall people and his parent’s incest for making him short.

“Why do you care?”

“Call me curious.” Emmeline replies, “Severus Snape has been a pain in my ass talking to literally anyone who will listen about how you should be expelled for what you did, but he won’t say what happened, so it’s super annoying. And I saw who made Gryffindor go from first to fourth with a three hundred point drop in the house tournament last week.”

“Great, who all knows about that?”

“The teachers and prefects. And we can’t disclose that information.” Emmeline says, “So, what really happened?”

“I pulled a shitty prank.”

“Must’ve been a hell of a prank to get Severus that riled up.” Emmeline remarks, “And for your friends not to speak to you.”

“Everyone fucking knows about that.”

“Language.” Emmeline warns, “Five points to Gryffindor.”

“To?”

“Are you questioning me on that?”

“No.”

“Good.” Emmeline says, “Y’all are smart kids. It’s fun watching you all get Slytherin and whatnot. Good, healthy house rivalry is fun. And it keeps me vigilant—practice for when I become an Auror.”

“You’re becoming an Auror?” Sirius questions, “Aren’t you betrothed to the Greengrass heir?”

“I would like to see him try and stop me.” Emmeline replies, “And not all of us Slytherins care about the blood purity crap.”

“It’s not a secret where the bloody maniac’s forces are coming from.” 

“And anyone can fight it.” Emmeline says, “but back to you, what happened?”

“I used my friends to hurt Severus.” Sirius admits, “We could’ve gotten expelled. I should’ve gotten expelled. James saved Severus.”

“Now that’s something he’s been leaving out of the narrative.” Emmeline smiles, “and Dumbledore has never expelled anyone. And he taught the ‘bloody maniac’ as you called him. Ten points to Gryffindor, by the way.”

“You’re just going to give me house points every time I curse?”

“I’m leveling the points a bit.” Emmeline admits, “The Slytherins behave better when they’re competing with the Gryffindors. So tell James to beat Ravenclaw’s arse when you start speaking to him again.”

“I don’t think he will.” Sirius admits, “I fucked up. This is all my fault.”

“I think if you tell them, they will believe you.” Emmeline says, “And if you’re not fast friends after that, come to me during breakfast tomorrow. I’ll show you how to get into the kitchens.”

“Thanks, Emmeline.” Sirius grabs the ball out of her outstretched hand, “Really.”

“No problem, Sirius.” She smiles, “And twenty points to Gryffindor.”

[impishtubist]

Okay, so a while back I mentioned this fic where Sirius does get Snape killed with the werewolf Prank, and Remus gets expelled while Sirius is just suspended for a bit and later reveals that not one person actually cared about Snape, and I finally remembered to go look for it. It’s Let Slip the Dogs of War by itallstartedwithdefenestration (here’s the link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16993962). It does have Slytherin Sirius/Death Eater Sirius, so it’s fairly dark and the Prank goes a bit differently because Sirius obviously isn’t a Marauder, but it is Wolfstar endgame if you’re interested. But related to the actual reaction of the other students that Sirius planned a student’s death, Sirius even says after Remus asked why he did it in chapter eight, “I really hated Snape and I thought, what possible good could come of his continuing to be alive, who would even miss him? And clearly no one did because when I went back after I got suspended it was like nothing had changed, except that you weren’t there and your friend James made extra effort to fuck us up in the Quidditch final.”

This is a super interesting premise! I'll post this for my Wolfstar followers in case they want to check it out. I skimmed it and it sounds exactly like the kind of fucked-up R/S I root for these days 😂

[limetimo]

RAB fics I read 18-30 Dec

Harry Potter and the Prisoner(s) of Azkaban by Trex_patronus Regulus survived the cave and went to Azkaban, got cell-mated with his brother, made friends with Kingsley and now Harry has to deal with 2 escaped azkaban prisoners :D Love the Black Bros interactions, as always TRex delivers phenomenal siblings dynamics!

You, Me & Everyone Else by ygmoony Remus and Regulus become friends, somehow, and everyone somehow comes to the conclusion they must be dating :D

The Bureaucratic Error by Iniga sooo Regulus is pretty much very very dead but he gets a great angsty subplot within Sirius' journey. Anyways Remus dies in Battle of Hogwarts, runs his mouth at Death and is sent back to 1993! The only other "Remus time travels to the past" fic I've read so far was the one where he time travels to 1970s with Hermione (that one slapped too). It's Romadora, but I thought it was pretty nicely done.

Domestic Fluff (literally) by Zoya1416 cute one shot about Regulus and his girlfriend buying fabrics!

Waters Run Deep by knight_bus_of_doom ♥♥♥♥♥ They pull 19yo Regulus out of the cave, the catch? It's been like, 16 years. His (already older because of time travel) boyfriend Severus is married to his brother (for reasons) and dating his friend Remus (Reg is very okay with this). It makes more sense if you read the first part of the series, but you don't have to. But I do recommend because aaaagh my heart

Sky Full of Stars by TowardTheStars Severus/sirius modern hollywood au heavy themes of child abuse so keep an eye on warnings

The Journal of Regulus Arcturus Black by gokioh Regulus is dead. When Narcissa decides to disown Draco in order to distance him from the freshly ressurected Voldemort, Draco becomes the title of Lord Black and with it Kreacher's services - and Regulus' journal. It means Draco learns about the reality war and the Horcruxes early on and does everything he can to protect fellow Slytherins (and other students) from it.

This Is Why I Hate Mondays by AtomicMint funsies ♥

Teenagers Scare The Living Sh*t Out Of Me by LimeOfMagicLimo re-reading my own WIP so that I don't write something totally contradicting. Regulus is such a haughty little shit, boy get a therapist i beg you. also crookshanks. and ginny and tonks and aushldaush Bill/Fleur are CUTE

Kiss (While Your Lips Are Still Red) by LimeOfMagicLimo Regulus who has been sentenced to Azkaban for murdering Walburga receives a Dementor's Kiss but he Kisses the Dementor instead. To cope, teh Universe yeets him to Another Universe, where he's like... I guess... time to kill Voldemort again to keep Kreacher safe

What could have been by Phantomwriter2182 harry time travels and recruits regulus, snape and severus to hunt horcruxes with him

career goals: tyrant by justwhatialwayswanted :D :D :D I love supportive-of-their-politically-ambitious-son parents walburga and orion :D also Regulus' crush on Evan alfhlů

melodrama by moonymoment jegulus were a thing yada yada stuff happened, James survived Voldemort, pulled Regulus out of the cave and now they're about to fuck some shit up

Whatever happened to the young, young lovers? by georgia_sk *laughing maniacally* Regulus went lonely gunfighter at Voldemort's ass and then set his dead body and destroyed horcruxes on fiendfyre in front of Dumbledore. Then he made up with Barty, rescued his bestie Evan from Azkaban, started mending his relationship with his brother and developed a crush on James bloody Potter. Dumbledore is trying to be meddlesome and continue his game of chess but Regulus is not having it ♥

Let’s make the most of this by jelfulry trans single mama sirius texts wrong number (remus) and Regulus is an overprotective little brother

No Tears to Damn You by tenrousei_kuroi motherfuckerrrrrrrr this was DARK. Regulus hears rumours that Sirius is going to be expelled (because the Prank) and goes to sort it out because their parents would flip the fuck out. Turns out Dumbledore is willing to let it go... if Regulus sucks him off. Slughorn sees and continues the sexual abuse. And then Sirius finds out.

my breath rips out in rags by ScreamingFae sexy jegulus times

Drugs and surgical scrubs by anauro modern au doctor Regulus recovering addict james ♥♥♥♥♥

to the dark lord by justwhatialwayswanted Regulus is PLOTTING and I love it

We're older now, the light is dim by Winter_Oswin Lily and James are in the afterlife and see how mistreated Harry is, and they will not stand for it. With Regulus' knowledge of souls and tethers they do a little push and pull act and force their way back to the land of the living. They're now forever connected by their souls in unexpected ways, but they don't mind at all.

when you were mine by sequinhaze  modern au single dad james ft house arrest Regulus ♥♥♥

Strikers (takes two) by aureusprongs FOOTBALL! after turning down a pro offer regulus moves back to england and enrolls sirius' uni where he immediately butts head with no one else but James Potter. James has a massive crush on Regulus from the get go but he's a little stupid about it :D

En Avant by bluerosebouquet Lily died, James is grieving, and then he goes and falls for his son's ballet instructor.... who happens to be his best friends' estranged brother... I love the emotional depths of this fic

There's A Place For Me by WalkOnThroughARedParade  quidditch team bonding!

All Together Ooky by WalkOnThroughARedParade  Remus/Regulus, short

Trimmed With Care by WalkOnThroughARedParade christmas decorating with sirius and regulus

Best Served With Milk by WalkOnThroughARedParade :D Remus takes Regulus home for Christmas, Hope Lupin has my heart

Slip A Sable Under The Tree (For Me) by WalkOnThroughARedParade  sexy jegulus times in santa costume

Signed, Sealed, Delivered by WalkOnThroughARedParade  sexy and sweet jegulus times

On The Eighth Day Of Christmas by WalkOnThroughARedParade  sexy jegulus times

The Long Game by lackadaisical_lizard regulus can't fucken believe james potter wormed his way into his life like this. damn mcGonagall and her obsession with Regulus being a part of a club. jock/artist jegulus highschool modern au

Puppy Magic by DemonBanisher, thefifthmarauder17 the potter household is CHARMED by the handsome widower and his son Teddy and can't help but adopt him. The catch? Remus and Teddy are muggles.

Gods Under Broken Skies by IndigoIrisis Regulus died and yot back in time and you know what? He's got no more fucks to give. He's living for himself now, and to hell with his parents and the dark lord.

The Pure Taste of Love and Lust by just_a_whorecrux  Orion/Regulus blackcest underage rape

For the Right Price by tenrousei_kuroi sirius gets captured by rudolphos lestrange. BUT, he's willing to let him go... for the right price... for a price Regulus is willing to pay. with his body

The Marauders and the Prisoner of Azkaban by SilverShadow1 this was a good take on the "characters read the books" but there was too much direct quoting from the hp books and it got taken down :/ not sure if it's still available or where

Forgotten Last Words by DEMH_works 10yo draco malfoys finds a letter, from Regulus to Sirius, and decides to send it even though his parents said he can't be in contact with cousin Sirius.

To Have And To Hold by WalkOnThroughARedParade  jegulus quickie at wolfstar's wedding

Dancing Through Life by orphan_account wolfstar and jegulus on stage of a sign language musical

Waves of Magic by xivz Regulus is dying of cancer and decides to use the "im dying" [there was a word. i know there is a word for this. i cannot recall the word] to make Sirius have a talk with Walburga and also to realise he's been dating Lupin for the last million years

[heartofspells]

Okay, so I’ve been thinking more of the coercion in 28 stuff, and I wanted to share a semi-plausible idea. First, I want to preface it with saying I don’t actually think the Prank was a big deal, especially considering that Hagrid was suspected of murdering a student and got expelled but was allowed to later be groundskeeper and Harry only got detention for the Sectumsempra incident (point being, there’s very little serious punishment going on in that school, so like, even if it had been Sirius attempted to murder Snape using Remus, nothing would’ve happened), but for purposes of plot, I will act like I think it resulted in a wedge (and a dramatic one at that) between Sirius and the others. Now that Sirius is isolated from his friends, he’s almost totally alone because none of his Housemates are super close with him and figure if all 3 of his best friends are pissed at him then he’s in the wrong, the Sacred 28 Slytherins see a fantastic opportunity to lure Sirius back with them. He’s vulnerable in a way he has never been before, he no longer has that core support network of the Marauders and he’s furious with himself for messing it up, the 28 kids will never have a better chance to bring him back, and they are in full force reminding him of all that shared history they’ve got with him and how they’ve never walked away from him, they accept his dark side while his new friends clearly cannot (Snape definitely muttered about it, they have a broad idea of what happened while lacking most details, but they know Sirius did something involving Snape and his friends couldn’t get past it). They’re telling him that yeah, they’ve all done horrible things to each other like that time Avery set Nott on fire and almost killed him when they were 12, but they always stick together, yet Sirius messes up and the Gryffindors abandoned him (not what I think, but I do think the 28 kids would frame it this way, just to shatter Sirius’s loyalty to them). They’re all working towards this, it is an active and coordinated effort (and they know they’ll never get a better shot, they’re giving their all right now), and eventually, Sirius is worn down because Sirius doesn’t like being alone and they’re on his side, they’re the only people speaking to him really, and he does have all that history with them, why not go back to them? He doesn’t really have anything to keep him with the Gryffidnors, now (plus, the Gryffindors initially did not react well to Sirius hanging out with the 28 kids after, kind of viewing it as another sign he’s as horrible as his family). (Unknown by Sirius, is that the 28 kids were also actively trying to prevent Marauder reconciliation, they will start a duel to keep the Gryffindors from speaking to Sirius, and they are telling Sirius’s old friends some of the crueler and darker things Sirius has done, to make them less likely to want to reunite with him). The 28 kids later gloat about bringing Sirius back, and they thank the Marauders for giving them such a perfect opportunity to bring him where he belongs, just to rub salt in the wound (“Not only did you lose one of your closest friends to us, you reacted the exact way we thought you would, we couldn’t have done it without you”)

(i think i might have answered these out of order? oops)

Okay okay. First and foremost:

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I hate the prank. I hate that it's called a prank. It was anything but, no matter the reasons behind it or what actually happened. A friend betraying another friend's trust, spilling one of their largest secrets, and then (whether intentionally or accidentally) sending someone else to what could have been their death or a life-altering tragedy is NOT A PRANK. Thank you so much, JKR, you terrible person.

But with that being said, the "prank" is an interesting thing to explore. Diving into all those possible scenarios of what could have happened will never grow old to me. Yes, it's an over-used, over-explored trope. I don't care. There's always a new take on it, and I love that. It's angst gold, and who am I?

This, though...are you the same anon with the Evil AU idea that I'm not so gently nudging towards a fic? Because if you are, YES. And if you're not, um...can I suggest teaming up together, because I really need this now.

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Hi, can I please request a mix of 20 + 24 of the kisses’ list with Sirius Black?

I want to clarify that I am NOT currently writing for Sirius because I have a block with it. Other men came into my life and I don't know, it costs me a lot (sorry for that🥺😞)

But I had fun imagining this scene so hope you like it nonny

"I told you no, Sirius," you exclaimed, as you had all day. Your boyfriend had followed you all day to convince you to participate in one of his pranks and he wouldn't give up until he did.

"Why?" he asked with puppy dog ​​eyes. You tried to go down the stairs as fast as possible to get to your classroom and then lose it, but you didn't count on Sirius being much faster than you because his legs were longer than yours. Also, the idiot went down the stairs with practically two jumps "Sirius, get out of the way" you asked. He was in front of you, leaving you standing on the last step and refusing to let you down.

"Explain to me why you don't want to help me"

"Because I don't want to get expelled!" you screamed Again you tried to walk but one of his long arms stopped you and by his hands on your waist he kept you in your place.

"What if I buy you everything you want from Hogsmeade?"

"No Sirius."

"What if I take you to the muggle cinema that you like so much?"

"No"

"What if I ask Moony to do all your homework?"

"No" you repeated, but with a smile threatening to leave your lips.

"And if I kiss you?" he asked, much closer to your face now. You were a few inches taller than him and thanks to this perspective his eyes seemed even more tender, looking down at you.

"Are you self-centered enough to think that a kiss from you is better than everything you've already told me?" you exclaimed raising an eyebrow, while a wide smile spread across his face.

"Ouch," he said softly, forming a pout "In that case, I won't kiss you again"

"I'm fine with it," you said shrugging your shoulders and panic crept into his eyes. Before anything else could happen he reached up on his tiptoes to reach your lips and then he could feel your smile between the kiss.

His hands were on your waist and it felt weird that you were the taller person, but you were still enjoying the contact. You carefully raised your hands to his head and reached for the ribbon that held his long hair, which you removed so you could caress his scalp freely. Sirius almost moaned at the feel of your fingers tangling in his auburn locks and he continued to kiss you, his touches soft and gentle intensifying little by little.

“Miss Y/L/N!” someone shouted. You parted ways to find McGonagall staring at you in shock. "Go to your classes if you don't want to be punished!" he indicated aloud, so you nodded scared and took your things from the step where they rested. You looked at Sirius and noticed that look he got every time he got into trouble. "And you, Mr. Black, I don't think I have to tell you to come with me, do you?"

"No, Minnie," he said resignedly. He let you go and you walked down the hall, watching the woman walk in the boy's direction and escort him to what you were sure was his office. What the hell had he done this time?

Shortly before entering your classroom, you saw Sirius turn around as he winked at you and mouthed an I love you.

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[ggadtomarry]

A thing I really enjoy about HP is the use of unreliable narrators.

I really enjoy the clash of different accounts, especially if they are presented as trustworthy.

Thing is, many characters who should know better lie in HP. And Harry, and us with him, doesn't have other choice than believe them... Until we discover another point of view, of course.

Petunia lying about Harry's parents and his identity is just the beginning.

Albus not telling Harry about the prophecy and the horcrux is another famous one.

But my fave one is Remus on Severus just before the climax of PoA. Why? Because Remus straight on tells Harry that Sirius tried to kill Severus through him, and Sirius laughs about it. So, they told the truth, right? Technically yes, but they presented it in such a way that we readers and Harry can't know the truth: which is, Severus was the usual victim of their vicious cruel bullying. It wasn't a prank gone too far, it wasn't even the worst of what they did to Severus.

If Sirius is still an unknown entity, Remus should be a trustful adult, isn't he? So calm, so quiet, full of euphemisms. This is only one of the numerous pieces where he's evident he's vicious af.

“It served him right,” he sneered. “Sneaking around, trying to find out what we were up to . . . hoping he could get us expelled. . . .”

“Severus was very interested in where I went every month,” Lupin told Harry, Ron, and Hermione. “We were in the same year, you know, and we — er — didn’t like each other very much. He especially disliked James. Jealous, I think, of James’s talent on the Quidditch field . . . "

Wow, Remus, thank you for this lesson in how to manipulate the truth. My other fave Remus is ruthless bit is him criticising Harry for his use of expelliarmus (his signature spell, taught by Severus).

You have the right to your head canon, but we never see any proof of Severus being jealous of James being good at Quidditch. Never we see jealous of him at all. If only James would have let him alone, Severus wouldn't have cared about him at all. Their issues were completely on another dimension.

So when Harry sees the other side of the story via a source which can't lie (the memories of Severus himself), he's understandably shocked. And the readers with him. Not only the pedestal on which Harry had put his father and his friends is breaking, but he's deeply upset because of the lies. And he's right.

In many chapters we read things that later we discover not being true. Or there is another interpretation of these facts, at least.

So yes, I find HP's relation with truth, lie and opinion very interesting. It makes us wonder about the other hidden truths of HP. For example, not counting FB because it is another artistic project, I tend to disregard Aberforth's account of GGAD's summer of love and their breakup. I mean, there is some truth on it, but not the whole truth. Aberforth strongly dislikes his brother and completely hates Gellert, why should he be truthful?

And Voldemort calling the Death Eaters his family, he's mocking the concept of family, he genuinely views them as his family (let's remember he killed his blood relatives) or he's lying to Harry and/or himself?

And what about the house of Slytherin? A nest of wannabe fanatic serial killers or misunderstood miscellaneous misfits?

Fascinating.

[startanewdream]

Captain Potter

Summary: Lily Evans has a secret that the army cannot know and it doesn't help that her captain is trying to be her friend.

Note: So I was watching Mulan and it's Shirtless JP May and this got me into googling shirtless army man, so please enjoy this piece of very much self-indulgence set in another AU. Also, I have no knowledge of military ranks, so bear with me.

Read on AO3 or below:

‘Evans’, the captain calls, and Lily turns to him, slightly afraid as she always feels when she hears her name. Maybe this is the day her secret will be found, this is the day she will be expelled and will fall in disgrace —

But Captain Potter has one of his carefree trademark grins, none at all looking as if he is about to arrest her. He looks at ease, leaning against one of the training posts, arms crossed lazily, watching her with interest shining in his hazel eyes as if she is a puzzle he will understand someday.

Lily truly wishes he won't, so she avoids looking at him directly in the eyes.

‘Captain’, she answers at least, saluting. That seems to amuse him.

‘I have a name, you know’.

‘Hum’, she stops, unsure. Her interactions with the captain have been restricted — well, her interactions with everyone have been limited —, but she has watched him from afar.

He is young and yet he never tries to act bossy with all the other soldiers, never tries to impose himself. He may have a more affinity with three of the soldiers (his friends for a long time, as she gathered), but he tries to treat everyone fairly, encouraging and teaching all soldiers equally, from the weakest of them to the strongest, and it’s not hard for her to see why everyone is willing to follow him into battle. The only one that he hadn’t been able to reach some sort of relationship was with her.

Something that had fit Lily’s plans and worries very well.

‘Captain Potter?’, she tries.

‘I am someone besides a rank’, he suggests.

‘Mr. Potter’.

‘That would be my father. I am James ’, he says at least, as if she is unfamiliar with the name of the youngest captain of the army.

‘I know , but — it would not be proper —’

‘Liam’, he stops her and, just as anytime someone uses that name, Lily wants to look around searching for that person until she remembers her situation. ‘Can I call you Liam?’

‘I’d rather Evans’, she answers, grimacing, and when he looks dismayed, she adds quickly: ‘It’s how everyone calls me. Not… it’s more personal, really’.

‘Fine, Evans’. He grins again. It’s a beautiful smile, so open and inviting, that again Lily has no difficulty understanding the success he makes with all the other soldiers, why their unity is unanimous in praising him. There is something on him that draws people to him — her included. ‘Well, call me James. I can order you to if it will make it more proper’.

Lily lets out a laugh before she stops herself, biting her lips, worried. She shouldn’t laugh; though she can disguise her voice mildly well, her laugh is too thin, too sparkling. It’s not a man’s grave laugh.

Fortunately, the captain doesn’t seem to find anything amiss. He looks just… glad with her reaction.

‘So you are capable of laughing’, he notes teasingly. ‘I had my doubts, you know’.

‘There has never been an occasion, Cap — James ’.

He opens his mouth in an offended expression; it’s so dramatic that, again, she wants to laugh. ‘I beg your pardon? Yesterday, when someone — a very clever someone, I might add — pretended to be shot by an arrow? That was an occasion!’

‘Wasn’t that you?’, she asks, raising her eyebrows. It had been a long tense one minute in which one of the other soldiers, Sirius, had been sure he had shot by mistake the captain and his best friend before James had revealed himself alive, laughing hysterically and showing the fake arrow attached to his badge.

Sirius had punched him, all rank forgotten, but then he was laughing too and everyone thought it was hilarious.

‘It was fun ’.

‘It was terrifying’.

‘Oh, so you were terrified I’d died?’, he jokes, his grin now very smug. ‘And I thought you didn’t like me’.

Lily blushes, lowering her head and hoping he hadn’t noticed it. Truth was she had misjudged him on the first day, annoyed by the way he acted with that captain badge pinned on his chest. He came from a long family of militars, after all, and he was very young, no matter what his father would praise about his grades in military school, so she had truly believed he didn’t deserve to be a captain, that he had only got there for his family name.

In the last few weeks, though, she was forced to admit he was a good captain. He had the vision for it, good ideas, an efficient way of training everyone and, of course, he was a leader.

‘I have nothing against you, sir — James’.

‘I’m glad to know’, he says, sounding earnest. ‘I am worried about you, you know’.

‘Have I done something wrong?’, she asks, surprised, fear involving her again. Lily had taken care of doing all exercises, overworking herself, all to prove that that stupid rule that forbid women in the army did not make any sense. They needed everyone in the fight against Voldemort, after all, and she would not wait patiently, especially when people like her were one of his targets.

‘No, no, you’ve been perfect, really, no one dedicates as much as you’, he assures her. ‘But you don’t socialize. You stay quiet during dinner. You don’t participate in any of the games', he pauses, before adding again dramatically: 'You don’t laugh at my pranks!’

All of it is true. Lily has purposefully gotten away from everyone, afraid they would notice something different about her, though that quiet soldier, Remus, had tried to talk to her. She just feels she can't risk.

‘I do not think it’s time for pranks, James’, she answers, deciding the last point was probably the easiest.

He shakes his head. ‘We are at war, Evans. If we don’t laugh now, we may not laugh after’.

She supposes he is right. And even though he enjoys more pranks than she thinks it’s reasonable, she knows he worries too. More than once, when she is on guard duty, she has noticed the light of his tent is on very late in the night. James may look carefree with everyone else, but he has concerns about the war — and what lies in his shoulder.

‘Your work has been impeccable’, he adds quietly. ‘I just want you to get to know more of your colleagues and for them to know more about you’. Lily presses her lips, hoping her worry doesn’t show on her face. That was all she was trying to avoid. ‘You will need to count on them in the battlefield and they will need to know you have their backs too. And the only way to do that is if we trust each other. Can we do that?’

James is waiting for her answer, his eyes boring into hers firmly, and Lily can’t turn away now. In the light of the morning, with the sun shining on his face, his hazel eyes seem to glint in gold, the pupil barely visible. He has wrinkles on the side of his eyes, and she suddenly wishes they weren’t meeting in the army while she is pretending to be an introverted thin young man.

He seems the kind of guy she would like to meet in college, or to grow up together with, or even in a dancing club with her friends; they would talk and she could be then fully herself, could share with him her witty side and even help him in a prank or two. In that other life she would appreciate how nice and beautiful he is, with that black hair that’s always messy no matter how much he tries to comb, and those hazel eyes that were made for laughing, not to be worried for the war.

But that’s not her life and she is sure that if he ever finds out about her, he will hate her. Somehow, with how much she has learned to admire him in the last weeks, she fears his rejection more than she fears being expelled from the army.

Lily knows she would trust James Potter with her life, knows she would do her duty and die for him if it was needed, and yet she also knows she can't ever tell him  her secret.

So she does what she has been doing best ever since she joined the army.

‘We can trust each other’, she lies.

He beams. ‘Great, Evans! And I thought we could start sharing your mourning runs’. He raises one eyebrow when she looks surprised. ‘I’ve noticed you awake at dawn to run’.

‘I like to train’, she admits. ‘I am… thinner than the others, so I am trying to get fitter’.

‘You look a lot better’, he compliments, touching her arm, where her biceps have been evolving nicely. It’s a pat, a soft brush, and yet it sends shivers down Lily’s spine; his hand is warm . ‘Mind if I join you?’

She hesitates just a little. ‘I will stay quiet’, she warns him. ‘I like to think while I run’.

‘Works for me. And if you want to share a thought or another, well, I’m here, Evans’.

He winks at her, again so friendly that she turns her eyes away, wishing she could tell him the truth. But she can’t, so she presses her lips, ties the ribbon around her hair so the bun stays in place, and kneels to make sure her shoes are tied. Then she raises and her heart stops for a full second.

James has taken out his shirt. She knows he is fit — there is no way he can’t be with all the years of training he had — and she has seen before shirtless, but only when she was far away in the line, hoping to get unnoticed as she trained the movements.

Now, it’s only him, his tanned skin glistening under the morning sun, a god coming out of her dreams. She is staring and she knows it, but there is no way she can avoid it; weeks at the army have made her lost a lot of discomfourt around men's body, but this... This doesn't seem fair.

She watches the muscles in his arms, his biceps far more evident than hers will ever be, and it suddenly occurs to Lily that she would like very much to feel them around her, involving her, holding her. There would be only benefits in hugging him, she realizes, as her eyes move to his torso, enjoying the firmness of his chest and the muscles in his abdomen, a six pack that seems drawn perfectly. In his arms, she would glide her hand through his chest, would place a kiss over his heart and then she would raise her head and they would be so close —

And then James stretches his arms, raising them above his head, and she notices the hair on his torso, a few patches near his chest that shine with a few drops of sweat she wouldn’t mind drying, and then the darked patch over his abdomen, in a path that goes on vanishing inside…

When she finds herself staring at his pants, Lily decides she has crossed more limits that it's reasonable.

She turns, all her concentration in avoiding glancing at him again, though she feels it's fruitless. The sight of him seems to be recorded in her mind. He will appear on her dream, she is sure of it.

‘Everything all right, Evans?’, he asks, right behind her, and she jumps. 'You look red'.

Lily knows it; her face is hot, burning even before she has started to run, and she won’t fool herself pretending she doesn’t know the reason.

‘I'm fine, let’s go’, she answers quickly, heart racing in her chest. This was a horrible idea; mourning runs with her very gorgeous hot captain will do no good for her keeping her secret.

She sprints without warning, but he catches up with her easily. She keeps her eyes ahead. Don't look, don't stare, don't ogle.

‘There is something special about you, Evans’, he declares, the run not seeming to disturb his breathing. ‘I will find out one day’.

[blitheringmcgonagall]

2. Where do you get your fic ideas?

4. How do you choose which fics to write?

5. How many wips do you have?  What fandoms/pairings are they for?

2. Honestly I’m very bad at answering these questions! For We Can Be Heroes I was so upset that every long canon marauders fic especially Jily at the time was unfinished or abandoned I decided to try to write one myself…

but for others, the marauders doctors AU Maybe I Waited Too Long eg, is trying to write modern muggle AU and seeing how canon things like the prank might be represented? and putting it in a hospital was something I know from work!

4. I usually only have 2-3 fics in WIP at any one time! So it’s not that hard to decide. Sometimes if it’s angsty I can’t seem to put it away until it’s finished, as if I need to get it out of my system? 🥺🥺🥺 - that happened both for Sirius’ first day in Azkaban fic It’s Not The Cold That Seeps Into His Bones and the really heartbreaking MCD This Is The Way The World Ends…

5. I only have BLAME which is a marauders (Jily and Wolfstar) What If…? Magical AU where James takes the blame for the Prank and gets expelled.