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malkahpariyz · 7 months

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Yesterday I saw a beautiful modest queen post her beautiful modest dresses… This is the ruckus her innocent act caused:

Backstory: a very fine Muslim woman posted her beautiful dresses on Instagram, merely wanting to showcase that her husband always talks about how she never wears the beautiful dresses she buys, so she’s showing them off in another fashion. These dresses were beautifully modest and elegant, and showcasing her personal sense of style all the while remaining modest…. And boy oh boy, did people have much wrongfulness to say about it.

Here is the video this good hearted and modest Muslim woman posted:

Many Muslim men began commenting on this post calling the video sinful, bashing the woman’s character, saying harmful things about all Muslim women who express their sense of style, saying things like “she needs to be punished” “she’s not a good wife” “ship her back” etc… here is an example of what one Muslim man had to say about her:

And here are the reactions to these comments that Muslim women, Christian women, Jewish women, Hindi women, and non-religious women alike had to say about these types of comments: *please read them all*

These women and some men had every right to feel disgusted by the way this woman was spoken to in these comments.

And I also had a comment I wanted to make on the woman’s behalf and to defend her against the attacks and hate she was receiving:

And in my efforts to defend an innocent woman.. I too was attacked by an ignorant little girl and here I will showcase the “conversation” and let you all know my thoughts as I truly feel I have a right to do so and I do have a right to do so… *please read the conversation thoroughly, the sequence goes from top to bottom, left to right*

Now, I will begin my true and valid thoughts by saying this:

That woman’s post is not doing what that girl is saying it’s doing. A woman expressing herself is not taking away from her relationship with God. And the children following after others is their upbringings fault, not the people they are following’s fault or responsibility to prohibit. If you see her and start prioritizing “beauty” and “style” BEFORE prioritizing God and following and believing in God. That’s your feeble ignorant issue!! Not the influencer who is RIGHT and ONE with God, prays without ceasing, and prioritizes God and her modesty, while also enjoying expressing her sense of creativity and style! If you do something you are not to do because she is doing whatever she is doing? That’s your issue NOT her issue…Nobody told you to look up to these influencers or follow these influencers or prioritize following what they are doing before you follow and prioritize God. Being a sheep is that sheep-like individuals fault, no one else’s. All young people of today have an issue with being influenced by INFLUENCERS on social media. And that is not the HUMAN MIND that is what FOOLISH MINDS do. People who cannot refrain from being followers of other humans are the issue, not people on social media being themselves, especially the people who are modest and pure. If many women cannot be modest if they want to? It is the fault of that particular woman NOT random people on the internet. All of this example of children being influenced by others, has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with the climate of society, while what I addressed truly had to do with religion and the fact that many people practice a said religion differently and not exactly how others do.

Claiming that I don’t know about what I am choosing to speak on, just because I MAY not be Muslim, is an ignorant false assumption because people know nothing of what I do and do not know.

I truly do know the semantics of a situation like the one she gives an example of as proof this woman’s treatment was okay or justified…It’s the equivalent to a Christian woman not wanting her daughters following after these half naked women on Instagram. But sister, children being influenced by these influencers has nothing to do with this woman’s freedom to do as she likes and it does not mean she deserves these people’s HATE and in this case she is actually doing nothing wrong and still exuding an extremely acceptable level of modesty. And practicing Islam as she interpreted she should and could.

This young girl opened this conversation with “actually her neck is showing” then claims she has no issue with how the woman is dressed. Then completely tries to ignore, disregard, and discredit the fact that 75% of my family is Muslim and what that would say about my knowledge base and stance (and little does she know, my own mother and grandmother were Islamic for long periods of their lives, wore the hijab for long periods of their lives, and have extensive knowledge about the religion themselves… and what make her ignorant self feel like I haven’t asked my INTERMEDIATE family that I am close to {mother, grandmother, aunties, uncles, and male and female cousins alike} how they feel about subjects like this??) but she ignores all of these facts I have told and haven’t told, all to make herself feel and seem right about something she is wrong about and wrong for trying to justify the comments made about this woman. Assuming I do not know about exactly what I do know about so that she can feel right in this moment where she is wrong. Assuming I don’t know the facts and truth of the matter all because the real facts and truth of the matter of it all, makes me completely disagree with her and makes me disappointed in her for being another Muslim falsely judging and persecuting another Muslim. I am well informed and educated in many different religions. I am a theologian AND a historian. I know what is called for in Islamic modesty, and guess what there’s different forms of implementing it. Some women wear the hijab and on some days she will cover her neck and on some days she will not. Some people wear a niqab, and feel it absolutely necessary and SOME DONT, some people only wear hijab, some people wear khimar, some people wear jilbab, some people wear abaya and turban. Alllll throughout all Islamic countries at that. In Africa and the Middle East. Even LONG before modern times and modern styles, ALL different styles of modesty were being practiced and all still obeying what the religion has voiced as Gods words about modesty.

Its truly barbaric the wrongful assumptions people make to justify their sick behavior and delusions and their attacks on innocent people.

One cannot assume what conjures my stance in this matter. There is ALOT that I have studied and researched for myself about Islam. A lot of information I have gather from first accounts of Muslim women themselves. A lot that I have remained highly informed about. A lot that I have read inside of the Quran for myself and have learned from my VERY well informed family members who are practicing Muslims and who are serious about their faith. I know more than most people born and raised in that religion actually knows about it, and the plight of the people within it… but you can’t tell this IGNORantly ASSumptive young girl that addresses me about that now can you?… What she spoke about and her backing of her position is how SHE feels about it, NOT all Muslims and I know this for a fact. So yes, it is HER opinion of what the modesty spoken in her religion should look like. She is someone who wants people to adhere to her understanding of things. Which is not the only understanding of Islam. By saying “it’s giving the wrong impression to women who really want to be modest” : is as if the way SHE believes her religion said to be modest is the only form of upmost modesty, when there are others within her own religion that feel differently about the interpretation of what was called for in the religion and about what is and is not appropriate. THAT is my point to her. That all Muslims do not feel the way she feels about this woman’s level of modesty and do not believe that she is being wrongful. That is what I meant by what I said. Not whatever her ignorance is claiming about me and my comments….

She tried to save herself the embarrassment by changing her story and claiming to not actually care about the woman’s neck showing and ignoring the proof of my extensive knowledge base and understanding of Islam. Saying all that she said, not for any other reason except a truthfully spiteful and pitiful attempt at self preservation and justification of an innocent woman’s sustained attacks on social media.

The truth is the woman in the video above, has done nothing wrong and many other Muslims feel that she has done nothing wrong. If you are a balanced person, like you are supposed to be in Gods eyes. Giving yourself the freedom of expression through style and creativity is not taking away the focus from God. If you are being as you are supposed to be, God will still have all the glory and total focus in your life while you still express your passion for fashion through modesty. That is my message to all women who veil and practice modesty today. The only sin in this whole ordeal is the way these people JUDGED, SPOKE DOWN ON, BELITTLED, and ATTACKED this innocent woman on social media. That is the only sin that has been committed here. The young girl that tried to attack me for coming to the woman’s defense needs to realize that, that woman was not going against God’s orders, the young girl was going against God’s orders by proceeding to judge that woman, speak foully to me in trying to shew me away, insult my intelligence, falsely judge me and my knowledge base and understanding, and falsely assume everything she falsely assumed about me and the woman I was defending.

If I comment on something and say “please don’t hate on this fellow sister in faith” and you object to that comment. You are a hateful person yourself trying to justify hate and make an excuse for it. No matter what you disagree with, people’s mindset of hate is never justified. You cannot defend or justify an “idea people have” when they are expressing that idea based in hate and judgement of someone. Otherwise you are a hateful and wrongfully judging person as well. That poor young girl thought she won an argument against me that didn’t even exist. Unknowingly committing sin herself with every word she uttered in assumptions, judgements, and dismissals. I pray God show her the true way. God bless her like I originally said and meant and may God bless her with knowledge, understanding, wisdom, accommodation and unity.

“Purify the heart, to tame the tongue” - anonymous

There was nothing, modest, meek, humble, elegant, or graceful about how this young girl approached me in the comments, and her stance in the matter, with all kinds of wrongful assumptions and verbiage. I came to the Muslim woman’s defense and a fellow Muslim woman tried to fight down the defenses trying to protect a fellow Muslim woman. This young person has alot to learn about everything, including her own religion, that she may never even learn. Who cares if you dress modestly if YOUR SPIRIT DOES NOT MATCH.

I think people need to pick up a book besides the ones they are told to read. I think people should read their holy book for themselves and not take every interpreters words, attitudes, and opinions of what the text actually says and means. I think people should remove the hate, and keep the love and understanding. I think people should follow God how God told them to and not worry about what anyone else is doing or thinking of what they do. It is more of a sin to judge someone in the only way God can, than it is any other sin. Only God can judge and that power is reserved for God alone.

After I say God bless everyone, the conversation should be over for people who actually have God in their hearts.

I am a Hebrew Israelite, a denomination of Christianity, but I still love, accept, and support my fellow Christians who do not believe exactly what I believe or practice exactly what I practice. I hope many people of many faiths can take a page from my book and practice love and acceptance. That is the way of God. Truly. (P.S. I am a Hebrew Israelite that practices modesty and wears the veil (a.k.a. wears the hijab) so if I wanted to “ask somebody who actually wears the hijab”, I literally can ask myself, as well as 75% of the rest of my family, but I like to let ignorant people live in whatever feeble reality they have chosen, out of ignorance and whatever sickness they are plagued with).

It’s amazing how people will fight harshly and relentlessly against the light and love, all in the name of pointless hate and to prove wrongful points against innocent people.

Here is what I sent to uplift the young woman that was being attacked on social media by her own community and other ignorant individuals:

Educate to elevate.

Don’t assume, it makes an ass out of you.

Knowledge is power.

God is one love.

Lead by example not judgement.

Accept others and love them as God does.

Know who you are talking to and what they know, before you speak.

Read the room. Or just simply… read.

- The Modest Blog

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suzannahnatters · 1 year

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all RIGHT:

Why You're Writing Medieval (and Medieval-Coded) Women Wrong: A RANT

(Or, For the Love of God, People, Stop Pretending Victorian Style Gender Roles Applied to All of History)

This is a problem I see alllll over the place - I'll be reading a medieval-coded book and the women will be told they aren't allowed to fight or learn or work, that they are only supposed to get married, keep house and have babies, &c &c.

If I point this out ppl will be like "yes but there was misogyny back then! women were treated terribly!" and OK. Stop right there.

By & large, what we as a culture think of as misogyny & patriarchy is the expression prevalent in Victorian times - not medieval. (And NO, this is not me blaming Victorians for their theme park version of "medieval history". This is me blaming 21st century people for being ignorant & refusing to do their homework).

Yes, there was misogyny in medieval times, but 1) in many ways it was actually markedly less severe than Victorian misogyny, tyvm - and 2) it was of a quite different type. (Disclaimer: I am speaking specifically of Frankish, Western European medieval women rather than those in other parts of the world. This applies to a lesser extent in Byzantium and I am still learning about women in the medieval Islamic world.)

So, here are the 2 vital things to remember about women when writing medieval or medieval-coded societies

FIRST. Where in Victorian times the primary axes of prejudice were gender and race - so that a male labourer had more rights than a female of the higher classes, and a middle class white man would be treated with more respect than an African or Indian dignitary - In medieval times, the primary axis of prejudice was, overwhelmingly, class. Thus, Frankish crusader knights arguably felt more solidarity with their Muslim opponents of knightly status, than they did their own peasants. Faith and age were also medieval axes of prejudice - children and young people were exploited ruthlessly, sent into war or marriage at 15 (boys) or 12 (girls). Gender was less important.

What this meant was that a medieval woman could expect - indeed demand - to be treated more or less the same way the men of her class were. Where no ancient legal obstacle existed, such as Salic law, a king's daughter could and did expect to rule, even after marriage.

Women of the knightly class could & did arm & fight - something that required a MASSIVE outlay of money, which was obviously at their discretion & disposal. See: Sichelgaita, Isabel de Conches, the unnamed women fighting in armour as knights during the Third Crusade, as recorded by Muslim chroniclers.

Tolkien's Eowyn is a great example of this medieval attitude to class trumping race: complaining that she's being told not to fight, she stresses her class: "I am of the house of Eorl & not a serving woman". She claims her rights, not as a woman, but as a member of the warrior class and the ruling family. Similarly in Renaissance Venice a doge protested the practice which saw 80% of noble women locked into convents for life: if these had been men they would have been "born to command & govern the world". Their class ought to have exempted them from discrimination on the basis of sex.

So, tip #1 for writing medieval women: remember that their class always outweighed their gender. They might be subordinate to the men within their own class, but not to those below.

SECOND. Whereas Victorians saw women's highest calling as marriage & children - the "angel in the house" ennobling & improving their men on a spiritual but rarely practical level - Medievals by contrast prized virginity/celibacy above marriage, seeing it as a way for women to transcend their sex. Often as nuns, saints, mystics; sometimes as warriors, queens, & ladies; always as businesswomen & merchants, women could & did forge their own paths in life

When Elizabeth I claimed to have "the heart & stomach of a king" & adopted the persona of the virgin queen, this was the norm she appealed to. Women could do things; they just had to prove they were Not Like Other Girls. By Elizabeth's time things were already changing: it was the Reformation that switched the ideal to marriage, & the Enlightenment that divorced femininity from reason, aggression & public life.

For more on this topic, read Katherine Hager's article "Endowed With Manly Courage: Medieval Perceptions of Women in Combat" on women who transcended gender to occupy a liminal space as warrior/virgin/saint.

So, tip #2: remember that for medieval women, wife and mother wasn't the ideal, virgin saint was the ideal. By proving yourself "not like other girls" you could gain significant autonomy & freedom.

Finally a bonus tip: if writing about medieval women, be sure to read writing on women's issues from the time so as to understand the terms in which these women spoke about & defended their ambitions. Start with Christine de Pisan.

I learned all this doing the reading for WATCHERS OF OUTREMER, my series of historical fantasy novels set in the medieval crusader states, which were dominated by strong medieval women! Book 5, THE HOUSE OF MOURNING (forthcoming 2023) will focus, to a greater extent than any other novel I've ever yet read or written, on the experience of women during the crusades - as warriors, captives, and political leaders. I can't wait to share it with you all!

#watchers of outremer #medieval history #the lady of kingdoms #the house of mourning #writing #writing fantasy #female characters #medieval women #eowyn #the lord of the rings #lotr #history #historical fiction #fantasy #writing tip #writing advice

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