#isnt technology wonderful

[blart-og]

pipipiplup (and friends)

[ros-sauce]

existence is pain but at least i have this gif saved to my phone

[lesellieknope]

sat down while cleaning and now im just listening to christmas music with @pacinothot over spotify

[mizumonohomo]

reread Red Dragon this past summer and 10/10 great decision

Will is such a compelling character, you can see why this book got so many adaptations (2 movies and one show). even though the book just covers the tooth fairy/red dragon murders, you can see Will's past in so many ways. How much he struggles with his empathy and his insight into people's heads. His empathy and care for the victims AND killers is really what separates him from typical gruff'n'tuff true crime protagonists. The weight that working in his field has/had on him. He is a sympathetic character, yet people in the book as well as readers can definitely see how he could be threatening, scary to know socially. How much he struggles to contain himself and be 'normal', even though he is being asked to use the darkest parts of his mind. And though Hannibal plays a much smaller role in this book than the others (and he played a larger role in the following books BECAUSE he was so interesting to people) you still see hints of a shared past and familiarity between Hannibal and Will.

Even separated from the context of the NBC hannibal show, it makes you wonder what exactly happened between them, how well did they know each other? Even if your interpretation isn't romantic, its interesting no matter how you slice it. Does Hannibal's insight into Will stem purely from his ability to analyze people and not from having an 'intimate' relationship/friendship/work colleagues in the past? How much did Will actually know Hannibal, did they ever see each other socially outside work or anything even approaching friendship? Like yes, obviously I adore the nbc hannibal obsessive gothic romance between them, but even without the context of a falling out between them it surprises me that Will in never mentioned in the following books (beyond one single reference from jack crawford anyway). It would've been very veryyyyy interesting to have seen Clarice Starling and Will Graham interact at all, like even a single letter exchanged.

I could easily see Clarice being intrigued by Jack's descriptions of Will, enough to send a polite inquiry for help/insight into Hannibal or the Buffalo Bill Case. Whether Will would just chuck that letter into the trash or actually help is up for interpretation, but still! I could see a correspondence between Will and Clarice so easily. They actually have somewhat similar backgrounds (and a great disinterest in discussing their past) though their reasons for joining the FBI are somewhat different, they both care very much about the victims in their cases. Will begrudgingly taking on a mentorship role with Clarice because shes's persistent and courageous enough to pursue help from a guy who is a world champion at shutting people out and he just cant help himself from wanting to help save people from danger despite his own best interests. Will's advice would probably have been more helpful than Crawford or Hannibal.

And just imagine Hannibal's reaction in Silence of the Lambs if Clarice dropped the fact that she had spoken to Will 'dont text me dont call me dont write me letters dont even fucking look at me' Graham. Like "oh. he. responds to YOUR letters hm? well did you know Will is scarred and ugly and afraid of his own mind?.........did he....mention me?". Clarice could've easily leveraged help from Hannibal by making it competitive between him and Will. "Ah yes, that is a fascinating insight Dr. Lecter, Will Graham said something similar when he and I spoke." just playing them off each other and she WOULD'VE too lol i love her

And how would book!Will have reacted to Hannibal's escape from prison/subsequent life on the lam? I guess people's most common interpretation is Will being like "never fucking call me again" after Red Dragon is all said and done, even that case was one he was pushed out of 'retirement' to work on by Jack. And maybe Will just did not want to engage with Any Of It at all after that. But I find it hard to believe Hannibal didn't send him even one semi-taunting letter like the : "i have no plans to call on you, the world is more interesting with you in it" letter he sent Clarice. Or that Will wasn't tapped for info/help by ANY law enforcement agencies as the guy who caught Hannibal way back when. I mean at the very least freddie lounds would've OH wait he did actually die in the books lmaooo 🤣

Anyways as a book Red Dragon is a great read, a tense murder mystery worth flipping through. The movies are great adaptations of the book, not many important details are cut out. NBC Hannibal is still my favorite interpretation of the Red Dragon book, though obviously the show takes from the whole series not just the first book. I'm still sad we never got to see Clarice in the show as she's one of my favorite fictional characters but any role she'd have played in the show would be soooo diminished from her role in the books as her story/dialogue was portioned out to other characters on NBC Hannibal (Will and Miriam mostly but also, Abigail and Bedilia to some degree) so perhaps its for the best 😐

[igneous-croc]

my tv has a setting where it turns off by itself if no one is clicking buttons after a while. It is a GODSEND in a house filled with tv-obsessed old people. Peace and quiet achieved for a grand total of 5 seconds before my fossilized father startles awake because his alaska survivalist shows arent droning on in the background

[onismsys]

the funniest way to notice someone new is fronting is when we hear them start to make comments on our phone and how new it is

[gibbearish]

a weird little thing abt me is i will definitely mock shitty ai art but it never feels right doing it about the hands simply by virtue of the fact that a lot of them look indistinguishable from the hands i was doing years ago when i first got a drawing tablet

[asatroende]

I’m working hard on the modern edda and while thinking about how some things would have to change because the culture behind certain actions isn’t the same anymore (re: rape as revenge in any form, no matter what the revenge was for; the revenger doing the raping would in modern times be seen as the villain instantly even if that wasn’t what was intended)

The people actions of this is hard in its own right but then I remember what the culture used to be (cattle farmers) and what we are now (not that) and realising that we have absolutely no reason to demonise wolves anymore, meanwhile the mythos hinges on civilisation being okay with and eager to kill wolves to protect cattle

[completelyandtotalyuneventful]

I love it when phanfics make Danny just like,,, really fucking creepy.

Everyone’s just like “yes this is Danny Fenton our schools local cryptid. He has unnaturally sharp teeth and once turned his head 180 degrees. Sometimes he forgets to breath and doesn’t have a pulse. Whenever you’re around him there’s always a faint noise of static. He interferes with almost all technology and isnt allowed in the computer lab anymore. Whenever you take a picture of him the photo always comes out distorted and his eyes turn bright green. His body is unnaturally cold, and being around him causes the temperature to drop by at least 15 degrees. He also sometimes makes things frost up. Some students think he can teleport as he always disappears and reappears all around the school. He drinks ectoplasm. Whenever he has to pee there’s a ghost attack.”

I need more fics where Danny went from scrawny nerd boy to “this kid is triggering that fear you get when you see something that LOOKS human but is just Wrong in a way you cant explain” and his classmates just decide it doesnt matter because their school gets attacked by ghosts every day so the Fenton kid who has a portal to hell in his basement isnt that important. Most of the time Danny and his weird existence get brought up in brief humor filled conversations, before the subject is dropped entirely.

But sometimes, when a school day is relatively quiet, someone will have an interaction with him that will leave them with this quiet sense of terror, a feeling that Something Is Not Right With This Guy. Sometimes people wonder what happened in that lab accident those months ago that caused Danny to become so fucked up. Sometimes you lock eyes with Fenton and realize his smile is Too Sharp and his skin is Too Pale and his pupils are oddly catlike and are his ears pointed?

But then the next day Danny trips over air and then starts rambling on about NASA, and then the lunch lady starts attacking people again so everyone has bigger things to worry about, and they all just kind of become apathetic to Fentons perpetual oddness until the next time it comes into focus.

TLDR; Danny Fenton is just an absolute creature who triggers a primal survival instinct in his peers but he’s also a complete dork so they just dont care

[spaceyprincely]

Boothill observations and theorys(?):

⚠️‼️Cw// leaks + possible 2.1 spoilers‼️⚠️

Hello tumblr I thought I’d share some observations I’ve made about boothill, an upcoming 5 star character. Particularly his name and how it relates to his cowboy aesthetic as well as his possible backstory. I also want to theorize his situation with Acheron as well. Well I’m not exactly an expert on theory’s so I doubt mine counts but I’ll share what interests me on boothill!

Boot Hill, Name origin:

First off, what is a “boothill”?

“Boothill” or “Boot Hill” are a type of cemetery most commonly referred to in western parts of the United States and America. What makes this cemetery unique is its association with cowboys, specifically ones that died in violent non natural fashion like shooting or hanging, “died with their boots on”.

How does this relate to Honkai star rail boothill.

- boothill is based of the typical western American cowboy , with the outfit, his accent , usage of guns, etc. so we have that connection .

- The HSR wiki says that he’s specifically a cyberborg. Cyborgs are typically depicted as robot human hybrid characters. Some cyborg characters like robocop and cyborg (dc comics) have backstories of becoming a cyborg by having had either died and came back to life through technology or damaged their human body greatly to the point they replace with artificial robot tech.

- Boothill in leaked eilodons shows his naked body. However you can quickly noticed his body is human. Not robotic like what we’ve been officially shown.

- Contrast this with his lightcone art, boothill has only part of his robot body. It looks like he’s being operated on.

- So how does this his name relate to his possible backstory

- As previously iterated, boothill is a name for cemetery of cowboys that died in violent ways. Pair this with how the leaked content having a human body which insinuates that he was at some point a human.

- So what I theorize: Most likely case is that boothill died/ got heavily injured, most likely due to a fight, so much that his only chance to survive was to make him a cyborg. The name boothill fits because he probably died in his boots (I’ll assume for now it happened on the job, maybe his job was the same before and after?).

- Interestingly There’s a leaked description of his lightcones. I’m not 100% sure about how true it is so I’ll have to take it with a grain of salt. However it details on him coming back to life after almost embracing death.

- - If boothill died, who killed him?

There isnt much to hint at who is to blame for cause of him becoming cyborg so far, given he’s a new character with little information.

At this moment, my best guess is the ipc which characters including topaz and aventurine are in. Boothill is revealed to not like the IPC as revealed in his introduction post. However there’s an interesting thing we need to observe.

- Notice how it states “the target of his revenge”, meaning the ipc most likely wronged him in some. I wonder if the ipc is the ones responsible for his death and transformation to being a cyberborg. But it’s likely it could be another reason for his distaste.

About Acheron

Cw/ this part gets into partial spoilers for 2.1 trailblazer main story quest

black swan receives a call from boothill. The call is immediately clear he is threatening Acheron with death.

- his tension with her seems very extreme to the point where hell even go after people affiliated with her when he threatened black swan under the impression she’s was working with her. And saying she shouldn’t exist.

do I think she was behind his death?

Unlike with the ipc one, I’m not really sure. I personally think that this possibility has less weight to it and there might be another reason for his dislike towards her. But it wouldn’t be surprising considering aventurine claims she brings death and finality.

- like aventurine, Boothill knows that Acheron isn’t an actual galaxy ranger however boothill himself is a galaxy ranger. Since Acheron is falsely claiming she’s a galaxy ranger, could this possibly cause tension with the actual galaxy rangers and her to be a target for them? I don’t really have much to theorize much more but would like to hear what others think

[charlottan]

AncientAbe: oough agh. Abe eat stick for dinner with bug dessert

ClassicalCarl: every thing either is, or it is not

MedievalMike100000: isnt it wonderful to serve our glorious God's chosen leader into victory and blood. fight with me and we will Die

RenaissanceRick237: looove the classics. we should build a religion out of the classics

RomanticRoger85: look at my beautiful panting isnt the sun so beautiful in my paiynting. everything is so wonderful btw.

ModernistMark: i think youre all stupid bullshit. what matters is my awesome child who ive decided to name Logic and will raise on only the most stringent of technological progress and reform and industrialization. The Great Societie

PostmodernPat: its in my blood its in my blood its in my blood its in my blood its in my blood its in my blood its in my blood its in my blood its in my blood its in my blood

metamodernistsophie: lets b cringe togedur

[asukaskerian]

Battlefield Terra is one of those works that just...changed my brain chemistry for so many reasons. I still go back and read it and think about it. This isnt an ask to return to it (though wouldn't be upset) but just to like thank you for putting the amount of it that you did out there

.__. *squish squish* thank you.

i cannot REMEMBER for the life of me if i ever posted any of the scene bits i had written in the chapter i never completed. first scene is actually one i love a lot, but then the battle scene was overtly complex and too long and had required so many rewrites and nothing worked. hghghhg.

but. anyway. this is the scene with the fallout from the "oh shit i kissed the alien am I GAY after all?????? oh fucking hell why did i notice JUST AT THE SAME TIME AS I NOTICE HOW MUCH HE'S NEVER GONNA *DECIDE NOT TO GO HOME* vfbndjh gnx;"

--

"And this is why it never pays to be stingy with technology," Jane said philosophically from the bucket seat next to John.

Strapped in like a sausage in its skin, John still managed to turn his helmet and grin at his sister. "Aw, come on, you didn't want the industry to cut into its profit margin, did you."

In the corner of his -- of all the pilots' -- glasses was an explosion of Spanish and Chinese sentences, nonsensical words, and Roxy-worthy typos.

The industry thing was mostly a joke; the think-typing-thoughts interface had first been developed for quadriplegics and amputees, and outside of hardcore nerds and professionals whose job required they be able to code very fast, people still preferred using their actual hands. One good reason for it: at the level of miniaturization necessary to put the brain sensors into glasses, it was new enough to still be expensive.

The new communication hub was a complete mess of hundreds of people trying it on for the first time, and it was hilarious.

"--Wow, hey, I know what that guy is doing! Oh my god, it's excellent, he's trying to think in sign language." Roxy giggled, tried to kick her feet only they were also strapped in. The craft was still accelerating, after all. Bleh. "Only then he has to transcribe into English, and he's doing it super literally! Hehehe."

Jane perked up a little. "Huh! No wonder the grammar was odd."

ID28YB: holy shit were all guna die in space aaaa

ID28YB: on the upside italics!

ID17NC: fuck how do you backspace backspacebacmlnpi

ID13JA: SARGANT MY CAPCLOSK IS FUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ID01JA: Like shit it is, PrivatE.

ID01JA: DamN.

ID98NZ: fifty Nine bottles of beer ON THE WALL, take one DOWN pass itaround FIftynIneBOTTLES on Thewall!!!!!

"I'll be so glad when they lock it down to emergency communications again," Jade said from John's other side, and sighed.

"At least the bosses forbid them to use colors," John said, trying for consoling. (He kind of failed, mostly because he was snickering.)

Jake chuckled from his seat at the end of the line, on Jade's other side, but didn't add anything. He hadn't really been talking much ever since they took off, and since they couldn't lean out of their seats it was really hard to see what face he was making. John wondered if he was worried about --

Of course he was worried. And if John thought about all the reasons why, he was going to start to fret too. His stomach was already in a knot behind the adrenaline grin, no need to double down on it.

"Hey Jake," he threw out, with no idea what kind of light-conversation topic he was going to pull out. "D'you think--"

"Say, chaps, I think I feel lighter!" Jake interrupted.

"Huh, yeah, maybe?" John tried to bounce his leg and wasn't sure if there was a difference yet. It was hard to feel the lessening weight of his body when it was such a knot of anticipation already, and when he couldn't move. "Wow. Are we reaching cruising speed already? There was no announcement--"

The door opened and Corporal Vantas stepped through.

(Not Karkat. There was a difference.)

"Woohoo, you clean up nice!" Roxy said with a whistle as he stalked closer in his alien boots and his space-black flight suit, head bare but for the jarringly pink headset nestled against his horns. John noticed all over again that his skin was slate gray, that his eyes were violently red and yellow.

That he moved through the heavy gravity of the rocket's push like it wasn't even there, when John himself -- at least at first -- would have wobbled.

"What mean -- no, I don't care."

He sat beside Jake in the free seat at the end that should have gone to Dirk, and disappeared from John's view, what with the helmets and the protruding edges of the bucket seats. John swallowed and put a smile on his face, even though no one was going to see him. For a second he had thought Karkat was coming toward him. Haha, silly.

"No more talk with the Generals, Karkat?" Jane asked, tone forcefully light.

"Mm. No."

"Talk with us now? Do you have anything important to say or just hanging out?"

John's eyes flitted over the logs on his glasses, the higher ranks starting to organize to separate the chatter by platoons. It was still mostly banter and bad jokes.

"...Hanging out? Yes. Hanging out. Here, not... other here. I'm Corporal not General, it's not fucking right I'm with them."

It was the exact same tone the Marines John knew used when they got offended when their chain of command got dumbass ideas. Heh.

Maybe a little hesitation. Maybe just the translation issues.

JH: haha, you guys *wish* you could type in colors!

ID28YB: if by colors u mean rainbow fruity goodness then sure :(

ID28YB: i wanted mauve goddamn!!

JH: maybe better that you can't have it, echidna would have had to cut you. :'(

(Urgh. He missed Rose. He wished she were well enough to fight with them today.)

Jade joined the conversation, asked Karkat about... John wasn't listening. What the politicos had told him, when he was alone with them without a translator. Stuff. Boring stuff.

Karkat's low, gravelly voice kept slipping into his ears no matter how hard he tried not to pay attention to the words. ("You talk I fall on you a lot. Maybe you want --")

Anyway when the loudspeaker in the wall started talking he was pretty glad.

"Attention troops, cruise speed has been reached. Stay seated until your immediate superior allows you to stand..."

Two clicks echoed around him, Jade and Roxy undoing their security harnesses in unison.

"Oh my god, I'm so stiff," Jade groaned. "I'm going to check on Remington, anyone wanna come with?"

"You sit still for longer stretches of time in battle," Jane pointed out as she freed herself in turn, as Jake was still fighting his clasps.

"In battle my seat is perfectly adapted to my butt!"

The girls started to file out, talking about butts, and John almost heard Dave mentioning butt massages, almost mentioned it himself but. No. That would have been wrong even if two thirds of the lot weren't family.

He thought of following them. He would just skip along, snicker and stretch his legs and tease the Marines and...

"See you guys later," he said instead, waving without looking, heart a pulsating knot in his throat. "Karkat and I have to practice the telepathy-typing thing. Well, mostly me."

He closed his eyes for a few seconds, listened to the tread of boots on the hard plastic floor.

He didn't need to look in order to know which one of them was Karkat, getting up and moving one seat down the line.

Leaving one seat empty between them. Huh. John wasn't sure how to take that one.

"Huhn. You want telepathy now?"

John winced to himself. "It's pretty much now or in the middle of battle, isn't it?"

A beat of silence, and then Karkat grunted an acknowledgement. "Mm."

"Mm," John agreed, and kept on not making a move toward his own headset. Karkat's was already in place, possibly already turned on. John just had to tap.

"Maybe we speak and then headsets," Karkat suggested.

"... Yeah, maybe that."

John made a superfluous noise of agreement, and then groaned and pushed his helmet off his head, tucked it between his feet. He took his gloves off next, dropped them inside the helmet, and then buried both hands in his hair to scratch and rub with vigorous frustration. It did not soothe him as much as he had hoped for.

"This is the worst timing," he groaned, muffled, as he curled forward until he could prop his elbows on his thighs and lace his fingers behind his head. His spine cracked.

The worst timing, and the worst thing. He wasn't sure he'd have taken it much better elsewhere, with more time to take care of the fallout. It sucked. His head was a mess just when he absolutely needed to be as perfectly in the zone as he had ever been in his entire life.

"I'm sorry," Karkat said quietly. "We do big things today. I was stupid. Even if you said oh yes good, kissing! it's other things in our head and we can't have other things in our head now. I didn't do the good thing."

John groaned quietly, face prickling with heat, and closed his eyes. "No, it's... Yeah. Yeah, okay, that wasn't -- the right time. But you... You were right. I was looking."

He hadn't managed to stop looking even once since he'd seen Karkat naked, coming out of his slime. Maybe he had even been looking before that, playing it off as fascination with Karkat's alienness. Kind of like 'haha no I just like looking at his horns because they're weird, so random amirite!' only with everything else on top of the horns, like his little bitey teeth on goth-black lips and his bare toes and the fit of his goddamn dress suit at the summit--

"So why--" Karkat fell silent, drew in a breath, and then released it in a long, hissing sigh and muttered under his breath in alienese. John couldn't even offer a guess from the tone this time around.

Why did you kiss back, he could have been asking. Why did you stop kissing. Why did you never make a move. Why did you make a move now. Why are you such an idiotic mess.

Answer was the same for all of them, anyway. "I don't know."

"Why do you not know that?!" Karkat shot back -- more incredulous than angry, but John winced anyway. "How you look at a people and don't know, and other people tell you 'yes, them' and you say 'haha, no' and you're wrong?"

"Oh, shut up!" John snapped as he threw himself back into his chair, his arms coming up to cross tight against his ribs. Even now he couldn't look toward Karkat at all, shoulders curled in and away from the other man. His stomach felt like someone was squeezing it with both hands; his face still prickled with mortification. It was awful, he wanted to get up and run just to get moving, stop having to think on it -- leave the feeling behind -- but he knew better than to think it would work. He knew better and he still wanted to try, flinching and too tense; what a shit condition for battle. Fuck. "I know, okay? I'm the most stupid jerk--"

Karkat's hand was hot even through the glove.

He tugged on John's elbow, lightly, squeezed a little.

"Zhann."

"... Sorry."

"No, I'm sorry," he said, sounding tired, and his hand fell from John's arm. "It's shit words."

John sneaked him a look; Karkat wasn't looking directly at John either, mouth pinched in discomfort, eyes dim somehow.

"Is it I'm alien and it's gross? So you don't in your head because ... haha, gross, can't be true--"

"No!" John spluttered, turning in his seat as much as he could to face him. "No, no, you being an alien is -- it is weird, but it's not bad, it's just not normal. It's... You're a guy?"

Karkat looked up at him, eyebrows furrowed. "Huhn?"

God. It figured. For all the joking about Karkat being gay that John had been doing like an asshole, he'd mentioned an old girlfriend too, and the cat girl who liked him that he didn't want to lead on, and it had never felt like she was disqualified because of boobs.

Also -- ugh, thanks Dirk and his casual beach gossipping -- Karkat thought Jade's butt was nice, and so was Mr. Strider's. So. Bisexual.

The way he looked now, baffled and not liking it, it was a little like he had never heard of someone who wasn't. Oh boy. What a mess. John raked a hand through his hair, tried to get back into explaining mode.

"It's -- we're mammals, remember? We need a boy and a girl to. To make little humans. That means normally we don't want other males, or other females, because -- there can be no babies? So a boy doesn't have a boyfriend, he has a girlfriend, and... The other way around, too. Boy and girl, yes, boy and boy no?"

"... Huhn."

"I mean. Some men like men! Dirk and Mr. Strider like men. But they knew it pretty early on. They knew when they were kids -- when they were small? -- that they were like that. And I've never." He swallowed. "I've never. Thought about a guy. Like that."

"Oh."

"And it's really weird." He gave a twitch of a shrug, looked away. "... And I don't know if it's because of the telepathy."

"Oh," Karkat said again, but this time he sounded stricken, not baffled.

John dropped a hand on Karkat's forearm across the empty seat, patted awkwardly -- wanted to squeeze or hold his wrist (or hold his hand) but that was just -- even such a short touch made his stomach twist with odd queasiness, his face flush back to maximum redness. "It's okay, buddy. I don't -- it's just. ... Don't feel bad, okay, that's stupid, I just -- it is weird, but --"

Karkat's breastbone beeped. Scowling down, he fished his tablet out of his collar, unrolled it, shook it stiff. Oh. Little countdown shown in rows of dots, going one by one from red to dark.

Five seconds to a dot, fifteen dots to a row, and how many rows... Hm. Ten minutes left before... John wasn't sure. They weren't going to be there yet in ten minutes.

"My mech. Gotta wake up, it's slow." Karkat waved a brisk hand, eyebrows furled in worry.

John closed his eyes. "Do you want to practice the mind-typing?"

"It's not want," Karkat grunted, slanting him a look. "... It's going to be bad."

"Mm."

"We need bigger time, not this," he added, tapping the tablet with the outside curve of a claw.

John tried out a dry shrug, and thought to himself that he really didn't enjoy it, that 'if you fuck this up you will have fucked everything up' feeling. Dread was for the battlefield, not for stupid interpersonal relationships. 

"Probably. We can keep working on it once we're in our mechs, too..."

Karkat snorted, replied something in alienese that had to be 'We had better.'

Yeah, okay. John just had to put his helmet back on.

"We don't have time for this crap!" he growled -- whined, if he wanted to be fair, something strangled and pleading, frustrated.

"Mnh."

John curled forward, hands cupping his temples, elbows on his knees. "Damn it. I don't -- I can't -- in ten minutes, that's too--"

There was no way he was going to be able to stop thinking about all the things he didn't want to think about, all the things -- the petty, selfish things -- he didn't want Karkat to know about.

Like the incontrovertible fact that no matter what John figured out he wanted, whatever compromises they found with each other, there was no magic button that would make Karkat stay.

He'd been in Karkat's head too much to imagine for one second he would weigh out John and the dubious safety Earth offered him against his people -- his people abused and thrown out like shark bait to be mowed down by enemies and superiors alike -- and choose John.

John was pretty sure Karkat wouldn't even choose Gamzee.

"Do you want sex." 

John flinched around and back so fast he hit his shoulder blade against one of the edges of the seat.

Karkat was looking back at him -- steady, John thought at first, but his lower eyelids were tight, his cheeks just a little dusky. The heat on John's face cooled down just barely at that.

"I ask so it's not more alien bullshit thing. It's what you want?"

"Oh my god," John protested, looking around wildly in case anyone had managed to open the sealing doors to the small room without the hiss of pneumatics warning them. "I don't know! I'm not -- I swear I'm not lying, I don't -- this is freaking me out."

"I see that, dumbass," Karkat said, but almost nicely. "You're so bad in your head, I don't know you can get that much a clusterfuck."

John groaned, slumped forward again.

"... Mouth thing, was good?"

"... Yeah."

"Touching?"

John gave a little grunt, eyes closed.

"Want where?"

"Why do you need to know?!"

There was a moment of silence like Karkat rolling his eyes, or maybe just watching him, waiting. John didn't check. 

"Zhann."

"... Horns? Maybe your hands. I kind of. Want to see your claws. We could sit close? We could--" He choked. His face prickled so hot it almost hurt. He wanted to touch Karkat's face, follow his nose with a fingertip -- he wanted Karkat to allow that, the trust and closeness it would mean.

"That's where?" Karkat grumbled, gave John a frustrated look. John tore his eyes away, ducked his head. Where had he -- when they had kissed (his mouth tingled like an echo) -- when Karkat was so close, almost on his lap, what had he --

"Your thighs," he whispered, dizzy with nerves and shame. "Inside." He clenched his knees together, hands knotted between them -- oh, Karkat's legs clamped down on his hand, all warm and snug. Muscles bunching, straining. So close to his -- his. Oh shit, John couldn't pop a boner inside his flight suit, not while Karkat was watching, while they were hashing out how much of a total clusterfuck this was going to be.

There was silence for too long -- three seconds, ten, every single one tightening his shoulders, knotting his guts worse, nausea and heat mingling dizzyingly.

"... Put your head thing on, Zhann."

John groaned out loud. "Are you kidding me, I will die. I don't want you to -- there's too much, it's. We can't!"

But when he glanced at the tablet still across Karkat's lap they were down to the last two rows of dots and it was now or never. More accurately, now or on the battlefield when they were supposed to coordinate two forces that had never fought together against ... however many of those aliens who wouldn't have followed some random high-ranked asshole from nowhere into open rebellion.

He shoved the helmet down before he could think about it twice. It felt too tight, like he was going to strangle, to be crushed.

Karkat felt too close; an empty seat between them and John still remembered him in Excalibur's cockpit, how easy it would have been to slip on his lap and kiss and--

(Yeah okay definitely sexual there) flitted through his mind from Karkat, alongside ... surprise, oh wow, so violent, stop feeling, not the end of the world --

John flashed back to his previous thought -- sitting next to each other and his hand trapped between strong thighs and oh shit he was getting hard, no, no --

(hand pushing higher) echoed back briefly, edged with curiosity, a spark of -- Karkat shook his head, slapped his own hands down onto his knees, hard enough to sting. John startled. "Okay!" Karkat said, staring straight ahead.

He was maybe smiling a little.

Okay yes we need to talk later I don't fuck and run (do you?)

John spluttered. "How would I know!" I've never/and run where anyway we're on an island!

Take your mech, zip off? (laughter) (mister space pilot, so locked in.) Wait, never? How old-- oh right no one around only older adults and your tangleclan/friends and you can't with half of them because blah blah mammals (and not boys? Why not boys. Aliens what the fuck.)

John groaned again, hands on his helmet since he couldn't get to his face. Could have Rose or Roxy! Roxy was my first kiss! (haha sloppy-alright-nice but I saw you fingers up your nose too much as a kid sorry John I like you tender-nice but it all fizzed out) and Rose kissed me on a dare and it was like kissing Jane it was horrible.

And that was the entire fucking extent of your romantic and sexual experience oh my dear little dark gods that's pitiful. (sharp/teal/lovely-blade moaning over me (tight-soft-deep) other hurried hands in dark corners--) shit sorry--

Oh. Of course Karkat had had sex before. Of course he would know more, of course John was hopelessly late and useless -- he couldn't even bring himself to think about, about kissing, never mind what happened later, he was a kid--

The tablet beeped.

"Shit," Karkat said in English, and another few words that echoed as bounce me around on a bladed dildo. Which, yeowch. He turned to stare at John, already half out of his seat and leaning forward, a claw-tipped hand clenched on the armrest. "(I gotta get going now. John, do you--)"

He was leaning forward like he was about to kiss John, if John hadn't been wearing a helmet, and John knew full well that wasn't at all what he'd been doing, knew because he was in Karkat's brain, and still couldn't help but fear-hope for it.

(I'll kiss you if we win) flashed between them, too fast to hold back. No wait sorry (god it'd feel nice) we have to talk first and -- not now, cannot be now.

John laughed, mostly from nerves. I'll come with you (sit in cockpit think tappy thoughts oh my god they'll love transcripts of your foul mouth be hilarious what if I accidentally transcribe the sex thoughts too oh no oh no--)

Karkat's hand caught his wrist.

"(Do you trust me,)" he said low and intense, in an alienese that John almost didn't notice as not English from how strong the mind-echo was.

The response came embarrassingly instantaneous. "Of course I --" He swallowed. What do you want me to do?

Okay. (You are ridiculous) (thank you.)

Karkat crinkled his golden-red eyes at John and for the first time John realized he doesn't mind how I feel.

Crushes happen, Karkat replied almost casually, with a little pleased-flattered-glad trill running underneath. Crushes happen to me in particular all the damn time so I have no stones to throw. (I know this one is worse, tangled-odd with headsets but it was kind of predictable too especially because of the headsets.)

A harsh beep.

No more time. Follow me?

Follow you where, John wondered, and then Karkat showed him.

His mind nudged closer. Body alive with battle arousal, heart thumping too fast, just barely shaky in his body and he need-wanted John's cheerful-calm interest, his certainty. They should absolutely not kiss before the battle because he would cling and waste time hoping for time to stop instead and also they really needed to hash that shit out but oh, so smug that he'd been right all along. His face winced briefly at whatever echo John sent back, and then he --

(Terrifying/not right/I will never manage alone.) 

John's gorge rose. (can't let that happen/you're not alone (I'm not alone either can't be please god--)

(Good,) rang like a bell between them, and then Karkat's direct, almost forceful Dive(/echo/merge) with me.

John's hands closed tight enough on the armrests that the hard plastic cracked under his fingertips at the thought, visualized like two discordant graphs slowly entering resonance, like rebounding, endless echoes -- the pattering, muted thunder of armies in lockstep. But -- but too close so many things I can't share, how?! Can't sync if we're like this I'm mortified (want to die/hide/wash it out of my brain) you're -- you're --

I want to fight. (Scared to fight.) I need to fight. Silly flurry of thoughts -- bothersome, I have them too (misjudged when to tell people about psychics, misjudged you, (this is not a romcom where you are the heroine what the fuck Vantas,) could have endangered/maybe did endanger the operation twice) we can sync on that! (would be bad). Or we can sync on --

Mechs. Piloting.

Winning the goddamn battle.

We had better not think of beds, John sent Karkat, smile shaking on his face. Karkat snorted back, crooking him a smile.

They bumped foreheads -- or forehead and helmet -- and straightened up, because it was time to go.

They stood (John stood) and walked to the door, one-two, one-two. (Easier if we walk in sync, they agreed, and wondered if it would also work mirrored. But they would experiment later, John, now where was the hangar?)

It was… odd, not quite seamless, little twitches of individual thoughts -- not like last time, at the conference.

It was easier when a Marine came across them -- Sergeant, look at the shoulder bars -- and said, "I was assigned to escort, uh, you, Corporal Vantas..."

"We're coming," they assured her with two mouths (unnecessary) (but which is it again.) "How long do we have left?"

"Four minutes," she said, carefully expressionless in her bulking power armor, the helmet politely open still as she placed herself opposite from the claws side. 

Can you blame her though? haha.

It's not like I didn't help patch those weaknesses.

How'd you even find -- oh, yeah.

Of course horn sense would perceive the electricity field where crucial wires ran, the way a solid plate trembled under a headbutt at the weaker places, of course Karkat's terror would crank his pitiful amount of sensitivity up higher and the luck of frenetic, half-blind panic do the rest.

The upgraded armor would be a little harder but they had the brute strength to punch through and the claws to tear wiring free. Should be easy -- but the Marines weren't the enemy. Strong-respectful-friendly-safe. Distant-confused too (we're too young for how much weight/responsibility we carry) but nice, mostly.

The bay where they were keeping (dad) the mech was empty, if well-guarded; the Marines had taken the warning that the biomechs sometimes ate people to heart, it seemed. Which was hilarious, because (dad) was way too tired to lunge and chomp, which... wasn't funny at all, actually. (When they won, the first thing they'd do would be to put him to a feeding/repairs station.)

They scaled the black-shelled side of the mech, pushing and pulling each body from handhold to foothold -- chinks in the shell, the edge of a plate. (They avoided the gaping cavity of its ripped-away manipulating-arm, no matter how convenient it would have been for a step-up.) The edge of the cockpit opening was cracked open like a wound, ready to be pushed through -- convenient but loose because dad was tired; worrying but nothing to be done for now -- thank god they'd gotten the flight suit back because those weird cotton clothes were a clinging, heavy pain when soaked through with neural gel...

Oh right. John's flight suit might not react quite well to the neural fluid now that dad-mech knew it. What if it dissolved? Haha, naked in the cockpit. Or more like half-naked with strategically placed, slowly widening holes, talk about a porn flick setting. Didn't help that the dissolving/digesting gels used to clean dirt and dead skin cells might also trigger if Dad felt contrary enough and also eat through yeah okay, that was an unsexy thought. John/Karkat crouched, one body on the solid edge, one across the cracked-open plates, and then sinking, eyes closed.

It was the perfect temperature inside, but that never made that first deep breath of gel any easier. He breathed air deeper with the body still outside, like the unencumbered-lungs feeling could help (it helped, even though oxygen wasn't going to come through telepathically. Bodies were stupidly easy to trick.) and settled inside within the nest of coils, seeking out the one that went -- ow, yeah, there, in the flight suit slot at the base of his neck, between the vertebrae.

Wake up, he thought at it, through the neural gel and through the spinal tap, letting it feel his nerve impulses so they could sync more thoroughly. Wake up, (flight systems, weapon arms, no more standby) there's a battle coming. 

Once the process was started it was a matter of waiting until it was sufficiently awake (and burning through the last of its energy.) The Karkat body wiggled into place, let the other tentacles slot into their ports to read his every muscle twitch, so the mech would be ready to move before he even thought it coherently enough to decide exactly what movement he wanted, and then settled down.

It was easier to keep in sync if they weren't both doing different things. The John body waited until the other one was at rest and then stood up, let himself slide along rib covers until gravity flung him off entirely, still pretty high over the ground; he landed in a perfectly timed crouch, laughing a little in admiration (Gods of the Devouring-dark but this body was convenient) and walked out of the hangar.

The Marines at the door didn't look at him like a stranger-threat or even a superior-officer-threat, more like a low-caste soldier might look at a beloved high-blue who cared-possessive for them (still dangerous in the abstract, never quite controllable, but theirs.) It was so strange, so normal.

"Is Corporal Vantas going to stay inside his mech?" the sergeant asked him, falling into step.

"Yes, Sergeant," he assured her soberly. "Until we go."

They weren't sure why that got them a weird look, but it was probably nothing to fret about. The metal mechs' bay door was just there -- similarly guarded but they let John/Karkat pass without a word; one of them nodded at him, fierce and grim-eyed. He nodded back the same way, and then -- oh -- worried that it might worry them, because John usually joked before a battle and soldiers didn't like things to be different. Bad luck. But by then they were at the lift and it was a bit too late to fret about the mental state of grunts.

They opened the cockpit and walked in, swung around to sit. The butt-hollow still felt wrong. 

So many buttons and toggles and it was a wonder John never got them wrong regarding which did what. (Heh.)

The arm-rest where Karkat had sat ... for a moment John-alone was sent reeling, buzzing, experiencing it from the other side -- the tingle of excitement-certainty, that wordless moment when you finally knew the other person was interested, had been flirting back, the pleasure-relief of feeling wanted and known. So touching-surprising-soft to find John so far from cocky carelessness, from being sure of Karkat.

It was sweet, Karkat felt. John stared at the screens he was bringing to life and read the words he knew by heart like they might have changed somehow, tried to think war thoughts.

Weapons check, Karkat thought, tinged with apology-for-the-distraction, tinged with fondness/you-are-sweet.

John went through a weapons check.

They'd left him Excalibur's usual monofilament swords, breakable as they were -- one-hit kills was more Dave's thing than John's -- but he had his hammer too, and the more usual set of bombs and missiles.

Also two EMP bombs. He thought back to Karkat shying away from the microwave and the difference in yield and --

Yeowch vicious yeah that'll work. Not through the home-ship hull (gotta shield from star radiations) but it'll work. How come no one generals-making-plans told me we had that -- wait fuck I'm stupid of course no one would tell me when they were still considering using it on me. It'll work on the biomechs and probably the troop transports but I don't know about the range.

Excal's got good radiation shields, so we can get pretty close and make sure of the kill, John reminded him, and then Karkat reminded him they weren't supposed to wade in, just watch-coordinate from the back.

Like that'll last, they both thought, so closely that maybe neither one had thought it first, that they'd just both had the exact same amused-despairing reaction.

They went through the flight check in comfortable, whispering quiet.

[fisheraser]

SPLATOON 3 NINTENDO DIRECT SIDE ORDER ITS HAPPENING ITS HAPPENING OH MY GOD

okay. analysis time

MY GIRL AAHHH SHES BACK!! okay SO. inkopolis square. but dead. its a bleached coral forest basically. there seems to be this sorta of,, electricity thing going on throughout the trailer that we can see on the lobby tower. overall looks dope as hell

WE HAVE THE FULL FIT!! FOR BOTH GENDERS!! okay first of all what are those ink tanks? sorta looks like those IV bags. same with the outfit,, the shoes sorta look like casts and the clothes look like some sort of sensory deprivation tank suit. a lot of medical vibes going on from the white color and everything. i love it

PEARL BOT! no questions about it, marina definitely made this for her (the wives :D) its interesting that pearl isn't actually there (marina isn't either, ill talk more about my theory later) but she can still talk to us through this robot. also love how marina added the sliding eyebrows to make it more expressive LMAO

i love how we can ride pearl bot as well. i think this will be an important feature, wonder if we can control her when this happens :O

okay what are these? i think the first one on the left is a mem cake, not really sure what the others are though

okay im seeing a theme of electricity and we can see in the background it sort of glitching, so i think side order might a simulation or something. the huge orb in the middle is definitely some fucked up zapfish (where you end the level im assuming), but its glitching and then a ton of the skeleton creatures come out of it

it looks like a ton of dead fish (dedf1sh...?),, we havent seen any octolings that you need to fight yet so these seem like the new enemies replacing them for side order. though i do wonder if we'll ever encounter an evil octoling (or inkling or salmonid, who knows) also are these an entire new species? or just some simulation creature

i also love how instead of ink, its the same electricity we've been seeing used to summon the weapons. this whole realms creation definitely has something to do with marina since its side order and its super technologically advanced

okay WOA numbers. definitely something marina would implement. i don't have much to say about this but yea, im loving the tech-y themes going on. it also seems like pearlbot is helping you fight these guys since she is shooting lasers at them. if she's sorta like small fry, i wonder if we will ever get to use her as a bomb, or if she is automatic

also its confirmed that the octoling is indeed agent 8! i was like 90% sure but im glad its definite

okay the biggest thing about this trailer, DEDF1SH!!!!!!!!!

"just another bystander who got sucked in." what sucked them in? my theory is that marina somehow trapped them in a simulation she made of a world thats orderly- maybe she made it after the final fest?or is this an already existing place? maybe some whirlpool was created after octo expansion and this place exists under inkopolis square?

SHE HAS A NAME!!! ACHT!!!! also i am so glad all of the fan theories were correct and she isn't evil, just still partially sanitized. i wonder if that will be a factor in the story? more dedf1sh lore?

her glasses are different! since she doesn't have the hypno shades anymore she prolly has much more awareness now since she isnt being brainwashed, though she is still sanitized- but i think the music is counteracting the effects of that since shes a dj and shes always wearing headphones

also why is her arm bandaged? what happened to her? also all this time i thought she was wearing a tshirt LMAO

i am a huge dedf1sh fan and i have quite a few theories about her, so i hope she is an important character in the story of side order and we get some backstory

ESPECIALLY ABOUT HER HISTORY WITH MARINA!! they are both djs so that probably is important, but i am really excited to learn more about them. i think marina mightve gone missing and we are looking for her too?

the color chips seem to be like, stat boosts? and also 8 started to gain color once you add them! its sorta like deep cut's colored fingers. wonder if this will be a new feature after the dlc! i loveee customization options

this seems to be the respawn animation which !?!?!? IS SO COOL!?!?!

i have no idea what this is but. oh my god. i am so excited for this. its happening.

[signedkoko]

Heyo, was wondering what you have cooking rightnow, currently in a hazbin brainrot and was wondering who the next chars you're writing for are, if it isnt a bother

I have a lot in the works! Heres a list of all that will be heading here soon!!

[Comfort] Husk x GN! Reader - Comforting insomniac reader headcanons

[Romantic] Vox | Alaster x GN! Reader - Overlord reader is secretly a lil fucked up headcanons

[Comfort] Lucifer x GN! Reader - Kind reader for once needs his comfort instead headcanons

Matchup One

[Angst] Vox x GN! Reader - His life after you are exterminated infront of him headcanons

[NSFW] Vox x F! Reader - Helping him relax after a long day oneshot

[Platonic] Alastor x GN! Reader - You are his bets friend, and are always honest with him headcanons

Matchup Two

[Romantic] Vox x GN! Reader - You are shit with technology since you never encountered it in your past headcanons

[Comfort] Alastor x F! Reader - He comforts worried reader after the huge battle headcanons

[Romantic] Mammon | Striker x GN! Reader - General life with an overlord reader headcanons

[Romantic] Vox X F! Reader - Reader tells Vox he deserves better than Valentino and confesses headcanons

[Romantic] Vox x GN! Reader - You are a royal in hell oneshot

[Comfort] Husk x GN! Reader - Enjoying the last nigth before extermination together headcanons

Matchup Three

[Romantic] Vox | Valentino | Velvette x F! Reader - You are a top idol in hell headcanons

[Comfort] Vox x GN! Reader - Gentle and slow moments together headcanons

[Romantic] Carmilla x GN! Reader - You are a strong overlord, but you can't use weapons so she protects youd during extermination headcanons

[Romantic] Vox | Alastor x GN! reader - While physically helpless, you ahve strong siren abilities headcanons

Its a lot! Def more than I usually take on, but I really wanted to give people a big chance to submit requests with the new episodes being out 💕

[evilautisticsociety]

i think my favourite part about solarpunk is that we are fighting. i love fighting with peace almost, that beautiful juxtaposition. i love fighting for others and that idea that all this will help other lives. i love how each and everyone of us can make a difference, and solarpunk is almost a gateway. even if its a trend, even if the trenders only plant one plant each, that means thats one more plant in the world, one ton of co2 gone, per every single fucking person. we can do that so easilt, isnt that incredible?

i personally dont tend to look on the technology side, but one thing i love about solarpunk is how diverse it is. there are groups of solarpunks working on removing rubbish from the ocean, and others guerrilla gardening. people who just plant vegetables at home and full on vegans. so many people, and so many lives. isnt it amazing?

we’re fighting for a future. people have been arrested for some of the things we do, but we push forward. i find that wonderful. its a future we might not even see, but we’re striving for it anyways. thats the best thing about humanity.

[trainingdummyrabbit]

okaaaaaay. ranking the library's floors based on how nice it would be to take a nap there. graded by ambiance and comfort. trying not to let too many of my own biases shine through but also no promises. im sleepy. ok 👍

> Lobby/Halls: im counting it because itd be funny. the ambiance is not unlike a hotel hallway; kind of really unsettling in its uniformity and undefinedness, but it Does make you sleepy if youre brave enough to risk it. feels like there'd be a chaser monster in there. and there is, if you count angela, i guess. 5/10 ambience. im pretty sure it is like 60-70% stairs if you look at it, which is deeply funny. where do the stairs go. i guess the better question is where Don't the stairs go. there are also no chairs or Anything; just bookshelves and lamps. its pretty clear you arent supposed to be in there long. dim lighting's pretty nice at least. 3/10 comfort. VERDICT: 4/10. At least it's got presentation.

> Floor of General Works: the vibe is pretty nice, if you can get past feeling like a tree on a prairie. a hawk could swoop in and snatch you or something. the towers of books could be kinda comforting for the right people, though. 4/10 ambiance. this is books. 3/10 comfort. VERDICT: 3.5/10. Don't Fall Off.

> Floor of History: its pretty busy, but the kind of busy where it just kinda turns into comforting background noise. its like the equivalent of having on cafe noises to study or sleep to. less of a "lulling you to sleep" sort of deal and more of a "i am so tired i could literally pass out sitting up." and then you do. might be a little much, but if you can find a nice corner somewhere it might be refreshing. nice little power nap. 7/10 ambiance. not Really the most conducive to taking a nap physically-- best you've got is facedown on the desk. which, honestly, isnt too bad. theyre nice desks. could make yourself a little hidey hole with the books sitting around. just be careful not to let anyone spot you. 7/10 comfort. VERDICT: 7/10. Respectably cozy for a quick pick-me-up.

> Floor of Technological Sciences: the light from the windows is probably jarring as hell, but away from that is pretty nice honestly. a bit uniform for my own liking, but the dim light looks like it'd do wonders. cant imagine how anyone doesn't already get sleepy working in there. 7/10 ambiance. the geaaaarrrsssss.... good luck getting any actual sleep with That nonsense going on 24/7. also i dont think theres a Single non-90 degree angle in the entire floor besides the gears, (which you Really shouldnt be sleeping near,) which i cant imagine does anyone's backs any favors. not a single good desk in sight beyond yesods, and i dont think hed take kindly to sharing this way. also that is the most uncomfortable looking couch i have ever seen. 2/10 comfort. VERDICT: 4.5/10. Almost, buddy. Bring your own pillow. And earplugs.

> Floor of Literature: the little ceiling lights are absolutely Lovely. could argue for it being too bright, but honestly that's an easy fix. its comfy in the way a school library is-- honestly one of the more inviting floors to be on. its practically Begging for a nap tbh. very neat and comfortable. 8/10 ambiance. girl how small is that table???? even with leniency for art style with the size, the chair backs barely reach th edge of the table. looks like youd be ppppretty squished sleeping there. doesn't look like theres many other notable spots to sneak your way into either, so its the table or the floor. one way or another you are waking up as if youve been hit by a truck. 3/10 comfort. VERDICT: 5.5/10. Very polite and comfy, but oh Man is that gonna mess you up later.

> Floor of Art: YEAH BABEY!!!!! very dim but with several soft light sources, the loose and comfortable feel of the place-- this is what its all about honestly. the paintings and such are a nice touch as well. chances are, no ones gonna really bat an eye if they catch you asleep here. it just feels like the place for it. the natural look must be very nice after everything, too. 9/10 ambiance. those floorboards are Going to kill you. cant imagine trying to walk in there without tripping. not a lot of obvious places to set up, but if youre feeling brave you can probably nest up in a pile of books somewhere. on the other hand, theres probably all sorts of little spaces and nooks to tuck into if youre crafty. as someone who would enjoy sleeping in a cabinet, can approve. 6/10 comfort. VERDICT: 7.5/10. He gets a 10/10 in MY heart. Taking that back pain like a CHAMP.

> Floor of Natural Sciences: the same kind of comfort as an old ladys guest room. aka i Wish i could take a nap there. only caveat is the blinding light coming in from pretty much everywhere. its like trying to sleep with an open curtain, but like... all the time. looks like itd smell nice in there, at least. 7/10 ambiance. has actually comfy-looking chairs! seems like thered be a few places you could manage to tuck into comfortably in a corner someplace with a cushion or something. also one of (maybe the only?) floors that actually has carpeting! so no getting woken up by footsteps, or having to sleep on floorboards. 7/10 comfort. VERDICT: 7/10. Probably like sleeping in a sunbeam. Equally disorienting when Tiph inevitably gets at you for slacking off.

> Floor of Language: its kinda scruffy looking, but if youre not bothered by that it looks like it might be pretty comforting actually. i wont explain. lightings pretty nice as long as youre not looking directly out the window. soundscape might not be horrible, its a bit of a coinflip with the industrial look though. caveat? cigarette smoke... 7/10 ambiance. Comfy! Looking! COUCH!!! you Are passing out on that thing whether you want to or not. also you could probably have a nice time tucking up against the windowsill if you can handle the brightness. might even be warm. im kinda surprised actually. 8/10 comfort. VERDICT: 7.5/10. I could swear I've fallen asleep here before. Minus the um. Lava. But you get what I mean.

> Floor of Social Sciences: this place looks like a memory. this is the type of sleep youd get where youre briefly kinda disoriented on where you are for a while. ive gotta imagine the water sounds pretty nice too. and the coffee smells! can you imagine?? theres probably all sorts of small talk going on in the background, just a few people stopping by here and there to exchange pleasantries over a drink. i gotta stop here, i Will just keep going. 10/10 ambiance. i need to bump this up at least a little due to the theme alone. im listening while writing these and the sheer wave of peace it always brings is indescribable. howeverrrrr... return of The Couch. you Cannot convince me that thing is made of any sort of remotely soft material. at least its got pillows. on the other hand, you get good windowsill access (REALLY good windowsill too,) AND bar access. must be nice to find a quiet corner in, too. 8/10 comfort. VERDICT: 9/10. Is anyone honestly surprised. (But still, jeez dude.)

> Floor of Philosophy: the dim lighting AND the ceiling stars??? dude... its a bit quiet, but quiet in the way a classroom is after-hours. a silent sort of welcoming. if youre able, Nothing is going to bother you in there. this is where you go to Rest. 9/10 ambiance. girl there is NOWHERE to sleep. other than like the table. also is that just... water? on the floor? i appreciate the aesthetic deeply, but um. i dont think thats very nap conducive. the floor is probably wood but it looks almost like stone with how its shaped. cant imagine your back would thank you after that one. table's not too bad at least. 6/10 comfort. VERDICT: 7.5/10. The equivalent of passing out in a therapist's office. Hope you're ready for an in-depth personal conversation when you wake up.

> Floor of Religion: this looks like a principals office. cant shake the feeling of mild yet stern disapproval coming from this place. on the other hand, it Does feel Very secure. id imagine thered be at least faint clock ticking-- That has to be pretty nice. if youre the right person, i guess. the occasional ceiling light is pretty nice, but its already pretty bright in there. youll fall asleep in here and either feel like no time has passed at all after several hours or feel like its been an eternity after 5 minutes. no in-between. 5/10 ambiance. there is Nowhere to Sleep. maybe the stairs if youre cool with having to sleep against the railing, but also that Is a tripping hazard, and nobody likes a tripping hazard. has a similar problem to yesods floor, in that everything is Very straight-laced and proper, meaning there is like... nowhere comfortable to sit. other than like one desk and a table or two maybe. 3/10 comfort. VERDICT: 4/10. I'd say you rank better in my heart, but this is honestly about as expected. in conclusion: chesed's floor once again remaining the people's favorite. if you need me ill be tucked into a cubby at netzie's. come get me in like 3 hours or so, i will almost Certainly get stuck up there. ok 👍