#issues i own physically

[dailydccomics]

Poison Ivy by Seb McKinnon

[mamawasatesttube]

there's a lottt to talk about in sb94 #85 (my beloved), but one small thing that often gets overlooked in favor of bangers such as "haha hey bro your voice drops an octave when you're being commanding haha" and "i feel so... pregnable," among others, is like... the entire reason kon's in gotham to begin with. in #84 he has a ttk surge so powerful he destroys every single gun in the city of los angeles. and he's busy being annoying at tim, but...

before they get interrupted by fuckign. doctor sin's whole thing and cass calling for backup, he's actually seeking tim out because what happened in #84 freaked him out. and because he's kon, he's awful at actually saying "hey, something happened that freaked me out and i wanna talk it out with you," but tim reads between the lines of kon showing up just to bother him pretty easily.

and when he prods about it, kon does start to open up!! hesitantly and while putting himself down while still trying to joke about it, but he does start opening up. they just get shut down by cass calling for help, and then the rest of the issue ensues, but...!

i just think it's a sweet little detail about the degree of trust between them at this point. chronologically speaking, we're not even to owaw here - kon doesn't know tim's real name yet! but they're good enough friends that when kon's freaked out over his own power spike, tim is the person he goes to. they're besties :)

[duine-aiteach]

I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’m Irish and used to seeing all sorts of haha jokes about how weird our names are etc but yet I’m always surprised how surprised people are when I say that I find Welsh a pretty easy language to get the gist of. It makes sense! Welsh is something I know very little of but yet I find it easy enough to parse out the pronunciation of. I don’t always know what things mean but I’m not usually that far off in how they should be said.

[vasito-de-leche]

;R1999 FORGET ME NOT - General Headcanons

Compilation of headcanons and analysis on Forget Me Not as a character and other related things.

this post was brought to you by me, procrastinating on the second part of the Cover analysis and those yandere Pavia headcanons, and ALSO because mister lawrence cavendish jr is the second target for my brainrot

warning for suicide and self-harm themes!

On the subject of Forget Me Not's name and past.

It's Lawrence Cavendish Jr. Forget Me Not's real name is confirmed to be just that, as seen in this specific excerpt:

"Cavendish Jr, who was still alive and once sat in front of you [...]" which alludes to the dinner Vertin had at the Walden with Druvis III and Forget Me Not, and "'Forget Me Not', what a hilarious, stupid name". I only included this because I've seen people wonder about it.

What I mean to tackle in this point is the relationship between Forget Me Not, his origins and his current chosen name. Despite his calm and collected appearance, it becomes clear that Forget Me Not is one hair away from becoming entirely deranged, especially when confronted with the possibility of getting revenge. But why is Forget Me Not so focused on revenge specifically?

His backstory is not as openly laid out for us to read, but we can gleam some bits and pieces from all the documents and dialogue he has. To understand Forget Me Not, we also need to look at Druvis III.

All throughout chapter 02, we see parallels and connections being drawn between Forget Me Not and Druvis III - both of them appear to be extremely aloof, cold and collected, only to be revealed to be very emotional deep down, for better and for worse. Druvis III is initially defined by the neutrality and inertia that comes with being stuck in the past, while Forget Me Not is initially defined by the neutrality of the Walden and his ties with Manus Vindictae, an organization that rejects the future.

Druvis III is a disgraced, fallen noble whose life wasn't ruined by the fire that took her family, but the perception the world had of her, an image they forced onto her due to their hatred towards arcanists. And Forget Me Not has a family surname "buried in the dust, shot dead in history". A disgraced, fallen noble implied to have struggled with poverty, battling hunger and suicide countless of times. In the "··· Formula: 1920s" document, we can see a few pieces from various people and their opinions on Forget Me Not from the Big Mouth Bulletin. 3 out of 4 want him dead or think of him as a monster - entirely because of his existence as an arcanist.

The similarities are obvious. Hell, both share the theme of flora and plants, too. There is an even more subtle dynamic here too, alluding to the game's prominent religious imagery - Vertin's suitcase being compared to an ark that will brave the "Storm", the last supper moment, Arcana's offering, the orange, being a replacement for the apple of Eden...

And then, Forget Me Not association with snakes, rumoured to have a body covered in scales, with an arcanum skill that allows people to indulge in alcohol during the Prohibition Era - the snake that tempted Adam and Eve. Druvis III is associated with forests, trees, as well as a link between Vertin (the good guys) and Manus Vindictae (the bad guys) - the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. The two go hand in hand and are linked together.

The big difference between them is that their respective quests to set things "right" are entirely different - their "revenge" is not the same. Druvis III was hellbent on finding out who set the fire that killed her family, not because she wanted them to face the consequences, but because in doing so, people would finally leave her alone and let her mourn. She could finally move on from something that she knew the truth of. Forget Me Not does it to feel satisfied with himself and get back at everyone who ever looked down on him or wronged him. To inflict as much as pain unto others as he had received before. It's a powerplay fantasy in which he finally wins, against all odds.

It's unclear what truly happened to the Cavendish that caused Forget Me Not to end up in such conditions, to the point where he'd go as far as make sure no one can trace him back to his family, to the point where not even the Foundation has a proper report on him.

But there is one line in particular that lives rent free in my head when it comes to the Cavendish and Forget Me Not's potential relationship with them.

This takes place after Druvis III loses her forest, after she loses her eternal branch because of Vertin's intervention during their dinner. They're talking about how to use her forest to build a refugee camp.

There's the possibility that Forget Me Not is simply alluding to that forest - something that used to belong to her is now something that he should have for the sake of Manus Vindictae's goals.

But! Indulge me for a second! There's a noticeable pause, there's a subtle tone to his voice. Reverse 1999's writing might be confusing at times due to the translation, but it's easy to see that it's loaded with metaphors, hidden meanings and so much more, to the point where reading deeply into everything most characters' say is pretty much the norm.

The dialogue that precedes that specific line is Forget Me Not insisting that he can transfer the ownership of the woods over to Druvis III anytime, because she has always been and will always be the only owner, no matter what. He does this to convince her to go through with Manus' plans, that's his main goal, he doesn't care about the woods. But that single line pictured above? It could mean so much more.

Again, the two share many, many similarities. So when Forget Me Not talks about what Druvis III once had - a prestigious family business, a name people can recognize, an assured future - is what he should have, it evokes a sense of entitlement and lingering resentment. Almost as if Forget Me Not's desire to go back to the past doesn't stem from nostalgia like her, but to reclaim something that was denied to him.

Which is incredibly ironic to me because both of them carried their family in their names - Druvis THE THIRD. Lawrence Cavendish JUNIOR. And yet, the one that worked so hard to obscure his origins and changed his family name was him.

Neither of these characters can be recognized nor traced back to their families by appearance alone - people need a name or a really good memory to truly recognize them. The only one with enough courage to continue carrying such burden is Druvis III. Forget Me Not wants something that he willingy lost the right to the moment he allowed Lawrence Cavendish Jr. to die and fade into obscurity.

The name "Forget Me Not" begins to sound more ironic. Like an order, a threat or the promise of his return - his desire for revenge and his hypocrisy become clear once you begin to dissect his character. Like the narrator in the "To Lawrence Cavendish" document says: "He is patiently waiting... to put his meanness, craziness and quivers under the sun". He's waiting to reveal himself.

The "stage" is shown when he makes people explode from inside out, a lot of people who recognized him as Forget Me Not, the mixologist. This is when we finally see his true intentions and the main difference between him and Druvis III, all in their respective reactions to the journalists.

She's terrified, thinking about the day of her family's funeral. On the other hand, he's ordering them to watch and record as he "takes everything he has been deprived of".

This is why the thing that breaks Forget Me Not is hearing that Druvis III does not care about the man who started the fire, that it's not important anymore. He believed them to be on the same page, that she would love to torture the single person responsible for all of her grief. The guy is projecting heavily onto Druvis III.

In the end, I don't know if Forget Me Not resents his father, his family name, if he had some sort of business to inherit and a "future" that was taken from him, or if they actually might've been a happy family.

What I do know is that Forget Me Not's desire for revenge was absolutely amplified and fueled by Manus Vindictae's own agenda. And that's why he works perfectly as both a victim of their MO and a willing member within their ranks.

He clings so hard to the past because there is no future worth fighting for, because everything would be much better if it was rebuilt from scratch with only those that won't oppose him and repeat history. He clings so hard that his new name and identity are, in the end, a plea for the world not to forget who he used to be and, at worst, an order because he sure as hell hasn't forgotten all the things others have done or said Back when Lawrence Cavendish Jr was around. Once his family outlived their usefulness or relevance within society.

TLDR: THIS is the cold-blooded, numb murderer who is actually very sad, empty and broken deep inside that some people wanted Pavia to be. Like, he's even sopping wet and sad and asking Vertin to kill him next time they meet.

Which leads us to my next point!

On the subject of Forget Me Not's self-destructive and suicidal mindset.

We've talked about Forget Me Not's views and relationship with the Cavendish - but what exactly is the end goal? He feels entitled to a better life, one he was supposed to have, and then what?

The "???" narrator mentions a woman who made a promise to Forget Me Not, as well as leaving a "sarcoma" behind which he then adapted and turned into his own. This woman is implied to be Arcana, as we see her talk to Vertin about being able to see the truth, to not be blinded - there's an emphasis in the way she recruits people by opening their eyes to reality. The sarcoma is the city (apparently "Windy City" is used to refer to Chicago, I had to google that but hey, that's pretty neat!). It's the world he lives in and that wants him gone. She focused Forget Me Not's grief towards it because in doing so, it would help Manus Vindictae's ideals of a world exclusively for pureblooded arcanists.

And even so, he remained suicidal. There was at least one more attempt at taking his own life, and that's when he saw "what had been on his mind". Whatever that might've been, no doubt influenced by Arcana and his situation, is what pushed Forget Me Not to "allow himself to revenge, revenge, re-re-re-revenge, and to die".

Ultimately, Forget Me Not's goal is to die at the end of it all - even after he gets his revenge, earns the life he wanted, takes back everything that was meant for him. This is why, after he's fully defeated, his last words to Vertin are to show no mercy next time they meet. To kill him.

This is not only a long and convoluted plan of revenge, it's Forget Me Not willingly marching into his own demise. And just like before, he's not strong enough to pull the trigger himself. Now that he has no solid argument to justify his anger - all because Druvis III has shown him that people can, in fact, move on - his only option is to have someone else end his life. He's shown tired, and the phrase "Don't save it no more" might indicate that even if there was someone who could repeat what Arcana did to him - give him a sense of purpose and a target for his grief - he simply doesn't have the energy for that.

Forget Me Not's self-destructive tendencies can also be seen in other ways. His job at The Walden is to cater to all the people who shunned him - he welcomes everyone and anyone for the sake of creating a network of secrets, he attends fancy parties and events full of those who call him a drug dealer, Satan's spawn and so much more. And he pretends to be someone else entirely while wishing for others to remember him. He willingly surrounds himself with all the things that hurt him.

His arcanum being related to alcohol is rather poetic to me - since Forget Me Not is said to have spiraled into decadence and into this extreme mindset, it makes sense that his main skill is related to being intoxicated and to drown into something that is largely hated but at the same time, desired and coveted. The Prohibition Era does have a very similar mentality to religion, namely western ideologies - you're meant to openly reject and loathe something, but the constant repression causes you to yearn for it instead. And at some point, this repression can become an addiction in itself, leading some to indulge in it. This loops back to Forget Me Not's association with the snake in the Garden of Eden.

It makes sense to me that he indulges in something so painful, while cohercing others into indulging in forbidden alcohol. That he later uses this very same arcane skill to kill all those people who, in his eyes, represent everything he loathes about the current state of the world. It's like a sarcoma that he now leaves behind, that kills from inside out.

And this is the last time I'll bring up Druvis III in a Forget Me Not post, but notice their choice of flower/plant? She has a mistletoe bouquet - a parasitic and toxic plant which represents positive things such as fertility, life and protection in many different cultures. Forget Me Not has black roses, roses being immediately recognized as one of the most beautiful flowers but, in this context, symbolizing things such as death and rebirth, remembrance, mourning. Their duality, contrast and the "two-faced" aspect is prominent there. And not to get very deep about character design, but Druvis III holds the bouquet very carefully and carries it around with her willingly, whereas the black roses that Forget Me Not wears wrap around his neck not unlike a noose.

To really drive home how Forget Me Not sees himself, here's the description they gave him for his boss fight.

They boil down his character perfectly, to all the little traits that make up his whole emotional baggage.

And to also put more emphasis on how Forget Me Not truly doesn't expect to live and "win" at the end of this whole revenge trip, here's his ultimate - "Heavengazing from Hell". He's fully aware that he's going to be destroyed by his own actions and that the only thing left for him will be to look up at heaven from hell. That all the good things will forever be out of his reach.

Now, onto proper headcanon territory, since I'm running out of media to analyze!

On the subject of Forget Me Not's scales.

As established before, Forget Me Not is associated with snakes - one of the segments from the Big Mouth Bulletin comments on this. "[...] he had scales under those long sleeves, one next to another embedded in his flesh."

And this can actually be seen on his in-game sprite! It's very faint, but there's absolutely some sort of texture peeking out from under his collar and sleeves that resemble scales. They can also be seen on the trailer animations. The only time these scales don't appear or peek out from his clothes are in The Walden illustration, with the other members of Manus Vindictae, but that can easily be explained as him covering up properly and the angle he's drawn in.

Originally I thought that they could be burn scars, as it would mean a stronger connection between him and Druvis III. But upon closer inspection, they don't look like burn scars at all.

I like to headcanon that it's a side-effect from his own arcanum, similar to how Rabies is implied to look like a scarecrow because of his involvement treating rabies. Being something "self-inflicted" - in the sense of him having the choice to stop and heal, but refuses to - also lines up with Forget Me Not's suicidal tendencies, the whole sarcoma metaphor and the fact that by carrying on like this, he's doing nothing but destroy himself and add to his suffering.

As for how far the scales have extended, I don't have a set favorite idea! Part of me really would love it if the scales coiled around his body like actual snakes, but also the idea of him having different patches of scales scattered throughout (again, like a sarcoma) and the third secret option of him being MOSTLY covered in them to the point where it becomes grotesque, something that he can't even look at.

They're not just a tattoo or pattern embedded onto his skin either - they're actual scales, cold and rough to the touch. The areas affected by this have grown numb, making it hard for Forget Me Not to feel any warmth or pressure applied onto them. This adds to that otherworldly and sinister vibe he's got going on, even if the lack of proper tactile sense irritates him. It's extremely uncomfortable if they're brushed or rubbed in the wrong direction, however!

Sometimes, Forget Me Not might pick at the scales, as if deciding whether he loves or hates them. In particularly bad days, he picks them out. I like the idea that, once picked, the scales grow faster and stronger, as well as in broader areas, making it a perpetual loop of picking them off from his skin.

Overall, it would be extremely easy to conceal them - he only needs a shirt with a higher collar and gloves or some make-up, but I like to think that Forget Me Not loves the idea of someone catching a glimpse of them, a reminder that he's dangerous and so much more than meets the eye.

As much as he he's been affected by the stigma against arcanists, he now thrives in their hatred for him and his existence - sneaking into places he knows he's not welcome is addictive, especially knowing everyone tolerates him because he's their only access to alcohol. The way everyone will turn around and talk shit about him once they're out of The Walden is fun, because it reinforces his views on why this current era deserves to be rebuilt from the ground up.

Forget Me Not has extremely poor eyesight.

I know the glasses look thin and pretty standard, but I just like to think that Forget Me Not can't see shit without them.

He has this habit of taking them off to "clean" them whenever he's talking with those he loathes - mostly humans - just so he doesn't have to look at them directly. Sometimes, he might just close his eyes and dissociate, pretending to pay attention if the situation calls for it. Yes, he's petty and hateful enough to feel physically sick when talking to people he hates.

If you pay enough attention, it becomes clear that eye contact becomes scarce, as if just looking at them will send him into a fit of rage (but he conceals it extremely well when needed).

Forget Me Not's poor eyesight is not a secret, and he often likes to make patrons nervous by making their drinks without his glasses - of course, he knows his way around drinks and potions, there's no chance of him messing up, he could do this with his eyes closed. But seeing customers squirm is such a delight. Because now, they must choose between making a scene in HIS territory or risk being poisoned with a poorly-made drink.

I like to think that he also just has a very fine ear, since he does play instruments (all of his attacks being related to music and him using a piano as his wand during the boss fight). So really, Forget Me Not couldn't care less about his eyesight.

Forget Me Not enjoys floral arrangement.

This is just based on his association with the actual forget me not flower. I think he enjoys creating bouquets or putting up vases full of flowers around his home, even if all of them may end up creating a very gloomy and decadent atmospere - they're perfect for funerals, and he simply may be preparing for his own.

And he leaves them out on display long after they've wilted. "They're more beautiful this way", he'd say.

It's not rare to find Forget Me Not on rainy afternoons with a pair of scissors on hand, absentmindedly cutting every leaf and petal off from all these roses, as if he had a personal vendetta against their colorful hues. Sometimes, he just twirls the stem around, pressing hard on the thorns to feel anything while he looks out the window. He's so very fucking dramatic and volatile.

Basically, I like to picture Forget Me Not as the type of person who has dedicated so much time into something as empty as revenge, that he absolutely has no idea what to do outside of that.

Everything he does is just a way to pass the time until he can go back to dedicate every waking second of his life into his and Manus Vindictae's plans, every "little pleasure" is just a façade, he doesn't get any real enjoyment from anything. Sometime he worries that revenge won't help him climb out of this apathetic life he's built for himself, but he can't afford to dwell too much on that possibility. Everything that he does is muscle memory, he's forcing himself to try and do it, because otherwise he could simply sit still in an empty room for hours on end, with the lights turned off, waiting and waiting - all alone with his thoughts.

[labyrynth]

this might be a bit of a hot take but “shen jiu mistreated binghe” and “bingge is an unreliable narrator who manipulates the truth to his benefit” are not mutually exclusive statements

[fayevalcntine]

The whole "Claudia is now his sister"/Louis' sibling comparisons are never gonna sit right with me because that's never going to erase the fact that Claudia exists as a vampire partly because of him. Their relationship will never have this clearly defined role of siblings in the same manner Louis had with Grace or Paul, even if he was their older brother and was implicitly given the role of providing for them as the successor and manager of his family's estate. Because Louis was never responsible in part for their creation, the reason why they existed the way that they do in terms of behavior and life itself.

It also makes his betrayal of her all the more heartbreaking in ways that him and Grace drifting apart never will. He was her father, and didn't provide emotional support for her. She had to turn the tables and try to assume the role of being on an equal level because of this failure but this doesn't make him not choosing her any less painful than it did the first time. Even as they shift roles, take or give emotional responsibility one has towards the other, the fact that Claudia exists the way she does because of him and Lestat will always be there.

[coldercreation]

PSA: 

If you have related to how I have described Nathan’s struggles with his mental health and some experiences with life; emotional, physical and social etc (ignore the story/his fam background for this; I mean if you have been able to relate to his feelings/anxiety/negative physical sensations etc.)

Might be worth it to get your blood checked. 

Especially B12, Vitamin D, Iron levels and Ferritin (ferritin should be 100+).

Building on top of the character, character background, and my research into trauma / mental health etc, I have always used a lot of my personal experience when describing emotions, feelings, and how mental health issues can feel like or present. It’s my attempt to make the writing feel realistic, had I experienced the things in the story or not. Aka even if the story was high fantasy and thus not realistic, I’d source my own feelings to make it ‘real’.

So. Regardless of what's causing it in the story: If you have ever related to how Nathan FEELS or describes his experience with the world and his brain… (Anxiety, depression, chronic fatigue, feeling like an outsider/in a fishbowl, easily overwhelmed or over tired; social withdrawal, social anxiety, heart palpitations, chest pains, breathlessness, dissociation, irritability, issues with cognitive function; memory, overthinking, insomnia, brain fog, panic attacks, slow recovery from physical activity, etc etc et fucking c) 

Turns out bish has been chronically deficient of many things for a very long time due to stomach issues that stopped nutrients from absorbing. Antidepressants have never successfully worked for me, and it’s now looking like that’s because my mental health stuff could've largely been a physical symptom, instead of just purely mental health?? 

I have been on a pile of supplements for a bit now and uhh… It’s like night and day? Even with the other health stuff I've been getting treated for, it's been... So much better?? Like. Life changing amount of difference?? And I’m only just starting out fixing these deficiencies, which could take a long time. But...

Holy shit, “Better” might actually be a real thing after all?? There was a reason I've been so "stuck"???

Kind of mad… And sad. Because if this is true and I keep feeling like I have been recently, it means I’ve lost a lot of time to this. I try to focus on how good I’ve been feeling though, and stay curious for this journey of what literally feels like a second chance at life.

Just… Wanted to post this in case it could help someone else. This is a highly personal experience, mental health issues absolutely exist on their own too and there's possibly often overlap as well. But stuff like this can make existing mental health conditions worse too, so either way it’s worth checking. 

Yeah. So.

Happy new year?

From someone who might be pulling a whole Phoenix moment???? xx

[vee-is-a-clown]

Keith wears the key to his dad's house on a chain around his neck.

[fungii]

the fact that you've been like, the lone cabayomi prophet for OVER A DECADE is INSANE, thank you for bringing others into the light

KJDSKJFA I COULDN'T POSSIBLY BE THE ONLY ONE FOR ALL THAT TIME.....but likely the most annoying for sure

[lokittystuckinatree]

2 months later almost to the day and I’m still literally sobbing into my pillow about the Shakespearean tragedy that was Sylki

[dailydccomics]

*bangs head repeatedly against a wall* JLA (1997-2006) #90

[riverofrainbows]

Lately I'm hearing a lot about PDA and autism (PDA = pathological demand avoidance) and it's very good that people become more aware of it and are able to learn more about their own needs. However i often see it framed as like a type of autism, as in PDA autism that's just this thing that happens randomly.

But it isn't just a flavour of autism or something that comes from who-knows-what, it's a trauma response. To having forced yourself to do so much shit that goes against your needs, to feeling like you have to/having to force yourself to do things that go over your capacity, that disregard your needs and do harm to you. Including things where people don't even know their own needs and can't communicate them.

It's a trauma response caused by a lack of autonomy and accommodations (from yourself for whatever reason and your environment). To the point where having to do anything, hearing any demand causes this message of doom to your nervous system

And there is a very simple but not easy solution to it, with the potential of even a cure: Do not force yourself to do anything until your nervous system has healed. Now this is very hard to be able to do, which is the difficult part, because most of us aren't in an environment where we can do that, often have to work etc to survive and don't have people support us for a few years while we do not acquiesce to any demand. Additionally, many of us don't even know how to honor our needs because we trampled all over them for years, were forced to mask them and might not even know what they are or how to recognise them in ourselves.

A possible way to at least some healing of our nervous system is getting to know our needs and working on meeting them better, to try and build down the mask and only conciously use it where necessary but for example not at home or in a safe space, and try to have as many safe spaces to unmask as possible. You might only be able to start while completely alone but even that helps. Another point is decomposition time, soup time as i call it. Where we take however much time we have available, preferably at least a couple days, whenever we can, and do not force ourselves to do anything, even hobbies or getting out of pyjamas, except staying alive, and just drift like driftwood. This also massively helps with autistic burnout.

One additional tipp to recognising our suppressed needs and wants is that when you think "Oh i want this" but immediately shut yourself down: try to recognise this happening and ask yourself "Why can't i do this?" and if you don't have a good reason why not, try doing the thing you want. Might be something as simple as a juice packet or be some leftover rule from childhood. Similar for "I don't look forward to that": if you don't have a reason why you have to do it, and do it exactly this way, consider not doing it. For example you don't have to go to an outing you are very uncomfortable at. You don't have to do the dishes a certain way even tho it's awful sensory wise. Try finding those small impulses and listening to them. It gets easier over time.

This PDA trauma response is also one of the factors of executive dysfunction. Especially for things like when we can't even do our own hobbies or plans we had that we enjoy. Other reasons for executive dysfunction are difficulty transition tasks, sensory issues that make us avoid a task, pending decisions related to the tasks, unknown elements of a task, or not wanting to interrupt the current activity such as listening to music or watching a show (especially since these are big tools for escapism and distraction/coping to keep emotional distress at bay or otherwise aid in emotional regulation).

Btw this whole essay is built on my own experiences, i am not a psychologist or professionally qualified in some other way. So do take this with some critical thinking as my sources are "it's in my head" and we should never take (mental) health advice on the internet without thinking about whether it makes sense and applies to us, and do additional research if any questions or doubts or further thoughts come up.

[e-adlirez]

Trolls Band Together musical reading

Hiiiiiiiii so guess who got ratgrabbed and yanked down into the abyss yesterday as of the time I'm very impulsively writing this--

I went in not expecting much but a couple minutes in they were able to win me over with the plot and the surprisingly strong moral core despite the very simple narrative

And I dunno why (prolly because uh spoilers that I'll get into in a bit) but I wound up reading the movie through a musical lens, which is what this post is about :D

So if you haven't seen Trolls Band Together and don't think you want to (either because you're not optimistic due to the past two films or because you're by some chance a Disney elitist who's somehow trying to trick us into thinking Wish is somehow better than this banger), MAJOR SPOILERS for Trolls Band Together, you have been warned :]

Aight so the main reason I wound up with the music-based reading on first watch is because of the mention of the Perfect Family Harmony, which is what the protagonist boyband BroZone is trying really hard to hit, and I just so happen to be into music (I play drums :]) and just so happened to have been practicing harmonizing in recent times so I guess it lined up just enough for me to look at the film in a musical light, which was a lot of fun :3

Now, the plot of TBT is a very simple one: it's a big "hey guys how about we work together" kind of narrative, which we've seen before in every group-related franchise ever. However, the one thing that I found extremely fascinating was the fact that this story wasn't just being told by narrative, but by music. Specifically BroZone's harmonies and how they develop throughout the film :]

(Fair warning I'm not gonna be able to go Howard Ho levels of detailed, I don't even know how to distinguish chords by ear :'D I'm just gonna be talking about what I hear)

During the intro sequence, we see that John Dory (who I might end up calling JD for simplicity in this essay) has this thing about the Perfect Family Harmony (the PFH) and is trying to get his band to hit it. Obviously, his tactic for this is perfection and pushing his brothers to be perfect for the sake of hitting the PFH on their tour debut, and insisting that he takes the lead, which none of his brothers agree to while knowing that JD is not gonna be hearing any of their protests. This part is very important, because I'm sure that all musicians would know from rehearsals, if the group can't agree on whose lead to follow and wind up not listening to each other, the result is absolute chaos. Not literally as chaotic as BroZone's stage malfunction, but it do sound like that when none of the parts are working together :D

However uh, there's one thing I also want to point out with both BroZone's tour debut and when BroZone has their first full rehearsal together. When they sing their songs, the harmonies are very subdued and very simple, which is particularly shown in Perfect. There are very little facets to the harmonies, to the point where at any given bar in the performance, the line between backing vocals and main vocalists is extremely clear. The backing vocals even sound distinctly softer than whoever's leading at any given point, minus when the boys are singing in unison. Speaking of which, I could be wrong, but I think the parts in the song are like two at most and on occasion it's just the boys singing in unison? More musically attuned readers are free to correct me on that front, but that's what it sounds like to me.

Anyway the main point is, the brothers are forced to maintain these very fixed and restricting harmonies that more or less sound the same, and of course they are-- JD (if he composed the songs) wrote them and he insists that his brothers follow them to the letter, meaning they can't improvise or go beyond what we hear in the film. Granted it's prolly because of their specific genre of music and the fact that the boys are supposed to be teens at eldest and literally a baby at youngest, but the harmonies don't ever diverge or serve to give the song more layers. They remain exactly the same, more or less perfectly in unison, and even during their first group rehearsal with the band back together in (almost) full (could be wrong can't really relisten to that part of the movie rn), their harmonies are perfectly in unison but lacking in dimension, just like how they were during their disastrous concert.

In these, it is very clear that JD hasn't changed a single bit since the last his brothers saw him. He's still obsessed with the idea that he's the leader (even though a BroZone superfan like Poppy remembers him better as "the old one" and it even took her a bit to remember his part in the band), even though in reality, he's kinda nothing without the other members of the band. Which kiiiinddddaaaaaa shows seeing in Perfect his voice sounds very similar to Clay (I bet if I listened to the soundtrack first I wouldn't have been able to pick out JD's voice), and even his part in the PFH is the same as Floyd's.

As I mentioned earlier, due to the circumstances behind this extremely impulsive rant, I can't really check BroZone's first rehearsal after reuniting rn, but I bet it would've been the same case, because what I DO remember about that scene is that JD was being the same old JD, and everyone was trying to tell him that they've changed since they last saw him (contrast to him not changing a bit because he's trying to maintain that illusion of perfection he's been chasing this whole time). From what I remember, anyway, their harmonies were basically in the same boat as Perfect: clear, subdued, restrained against the singers' will to follow a lead vocalist at all times.

Now, we're gonna shift our gaze from the brothers for a second and take a look at the twins Velvet and Veneer. Yes they are iconic and yes their songs are iconic, but one thing I wanna point out is that when I first listened to Mount Rageous on the soundtrack, I had a really hard time picking out Andrew Rannell's voice because it was backing vocals-ing so hard that it was near impossible to not hear Brianna Mazzola's extremely dominant vocals (no hate to either, Brianna Mazzola SLAYED as Velvet), and the comments section of the video I was listening to for the soundtrack seemed to share my sentiments about wanting to hear more of Andrew Rannell, but hear me out:

We know from the film that Veneer is the nicer sibling. He's a material gworl with a heart and he genuinely doesn't like hurting Floyd, especially when you listen to how they address each other and converse with each other in the film. Now, seeing just how much on speaking terms Floyd and Veneer are on, how conflicted Veneer feels about keeping Floyd hostage and torturing him, and how Veneer is always worried about Floyd's health... it would make sense for Veneer to use Floyd's music essence or talents very sparingly, wouldn't it? With that, compare him to his diva sister Velvet, who squanders Floyd's essence even for dress rehearsals, and always sings for the back row and flexes as many riffs and runs and belts any and all opportunities she gets (hence why she CARRIES Mount Rageous). Makes Andrew Rannell's more subdued and in-the-background performance as Veneer more deliberate, doesn't it? :3 (Still wanna hear his voice more tho, it'd be nice to hear what Veneer can do on his own)

Something something the Veneer siblings are direct foils of BroZone something something Velvet is a direct foil for JD and Veneer is a direct foil to Floyd something something Rageous Twins-Floyd angst anyway back to the thesis of this thing--

Now, you'd think that JD keeps up his perfection shtick all the time, but he very obviously doesn't and it is shown first in his jam session with SpBruce and Branch in Bruce's family restaurant-cafe-lazy Susan thing, through the harmonies. At first I thought it was just because their voices had clearly matured since their childhood (which it partially is), but the other reason is the fact that their harmonies are so much fuller than they were in Perfect. They even give Pentatonix vibes in their little vocalizing bit, that's how full and multifaceted their harmonies are in the song; and the main reason is because in that jam session, everyone's in it just for fun, therefore everyone is free to add their little bit of vocal flavor into the song.

If you listen to JD and Bruce's harmonies in the chorus, you'll find that they sound more full and multilayered than ever in such a way that they didn't need five entire band members to pull off. And most importantly, the line between the leading vocals and the backing vocals are a little blurrier in the sense that leading and backing vocals for the most part are on the same volume, and they opt to sing a multilayered unison for when Poppy joins in, who is also adding her own mezzosoprano piece to the song and is given the room to do so. Everyone is given the room to do so-- Bruce's bass and Branch's tenor in particular get to shine while JD provides support with his baritone-- and of course they're given room for every single one of them to shine, because this isn't a concert, it's just a fun little jam sesh that also serves as a bet to showcase BroZone to Bruce's kids. It's ironic how the one time JD doesn't feel the need to be perfect, is the time you can really see why BroZone is such a good boyband that everyone fell in love with during their time.

Now, I did mention BroZone's first rehearsal (and I don't have much else to say about the rehearsal besides the fact that JD's obstinance means that they're doing a repeat of the tour debut), so I'll talk instead about the next time they manage to work (or in this case, sing) in harmony: A Better Place and its iconic pre-chorus.

Now, first of all I will mention the moment prior where the group has that little heart-to-heart about the PFH and how they don't need to be perfect to hit it, they just need to be together. While this is a very cheesy line, it's actually very true if you think about it from a technical musical perspective: when you're singing, you technically don't need to be perfect to sound good, and the same goes for if you're singing in a group. The most important thing about singing in a group is that you're all together, you're all on the same page, and you're all in agreement on who's going to take the lead for everyone to base their singing off of; and they have all three of those things. All of BroZone is together and able to communicate with each other, and they're all on the same page because they're all agreeing to follow Branch's lead. Ignore for a second the poeticism of Bitty B now taking up The Leader position in the vocals, the fact that the group was able to agree on who'll lead and who the others will listen to is not only a good showcase of what having a good team and leader is like, but also what it takes for a group to be able to sing together and not sound like a house of people trying to sing Happy Birthday. (It's also an achievement with this bunch but I digress.)

In A Better Place, we get to hear everyone put their own bits of harmonies into the song: we get to hear Clay's beautiful vocalizations in the pre-chorus and the chorus, Anna Kendrick joining in with her soprano is always a treat for the eardrums, Camila Cabello's improvisations are very tasteful, the LAYERS that make the pre-chorus so addicting to listen to, we even get to hear Crimp adding a bit of ukulele and it's very cute and she looks so happy you guys <:], Floyd's little vocalization at the end sounds heavenly even though the poor man hardly had anything left in him Lord bless him-- and under all of this, Branch's voice still sounds prominent enough to act as a baseline that doesn't overpower but ties all the other voices together, like a concertmaster of an orchestra being the one to set the pitch and make sure that everyone is on the same page. Everyone is listening to each other, everyone is adding their own flavor to the song, and everyone is in harmony.

Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk :3 if you managed to stick it out to the end then uh holy crap I commend you soldier, your brainrot must be as severe as the Trolls tag on Tumblr made yourselves out to be :D /j

[thisisadonaldduckblognow]

the way i rewatch any part of rottmnt and once again come away from canon leo wondering where the actual heck are people getting this “oohhhh he only thinks he’s good for self sacrifice or as a tool, he has absolutely zero self worth whatsoever” instead of the canon version who’s kind of a manipulative lil stinker and KNOWS he has stuff to bring to the table but isn’t sure how to be Seen

it’s not that he thinks he’s worthless or not wanted. i fuckin promise you that about rise leo. he does not seriously think he is unloved or unwanted or ~one mistake away from being dropped by his own family~ or whatever

what he IS is rejection-sensitive in the way that makes any time he fails feel like the end of the world to HIM (setting aside that time he messed up and it did literally trigger the near-apocalypse and near deaths of him and his family lol), so he’d rather not try than risk messing up

[quietwingsinthesky]

obsessed with the idea of the doctor and the master standing together in opposition to gallifrey post-end of time. less in it being the reality of the situation, and more in it being what the master perceives it to be in the immediate aftermath of being. well. told he was going to be disposed of. the combination of that rejection with the doctor choosing him, the way that sets them up with a common enemy. but where that enemy for the master becomes gallifrey in the abstract with the council as the face of it, the doctor never sees it that way, never thinks of it as the two of them against their own world. the doctor, crucially, kept count of the children. when he saves gallifrey, it isn’t about the master at all, not to anyone but the master themself. because how are they supposed to take the doctor choosing gallifrey over them as anything other than a betrayal.

[mid-nightowl]

<3 5 facts for a celebrity au? (pairing of ur choice!)

hi tauria!!!! thank you for ask :) <3 <3 <3

this is a good one, but it was a challenge. now bear with me, we're gonna do a dickjaytim celebrity au 👀

Jason’s the celebrity (but like minorly?). He's a theater actor and is well-known in theater circles etc., but most people off the street wouldn’t recognize him. He’s a fan favorite on twitter/social media though, for being a scathing but good critic for new books and books-turned-movies. 

>>Tim’s the CEO of Drake Industries and a rival to Wayne Industries in Gotham (but like he doesn’t take it as seriously as he should to the despair of his board). His parents died when he was a teenager and after graduating high school early, just took on the company and does whatever he wants. 

>>Dick is an orphan and the ward-adoptee of Bruce Wayne. Same backstory as canon, circus kid adopted by rich Gothaminite. Bruce and him act more like older brother-younger brothers and act like Alfred is their father/grandfather figure. Bruce is CEO and offered Dick a position at the company but Dick would rather not. Unclear on what job Dick does in this but he’s not a cop (blegh).  

>>Tim and Dick are local celebrities, well-known and often chased by paparazzi, but Jason’s the real focus for this AU.

So, Tim’s a CEO and has to attend galas and rich people events, socialize and get people invested in his company (as well as prove himself a capable CEO despite being so young). He typically hates these events, dreads going, comes up with any excuse he can, but does attend some. He attends a theater play, expecting not to have to talk or socialize too much because it’s a play, and falls head over heels for the main actor, Jason. 

>>Tim sort of falls into being a stalker-y, secret admirer of Jason but Jason’s pretty smitten with all the nice, thoughtful notes and gifts he’s getting (especially compared to some gross ones he gets from Roman Sionis and other old rich dudes hoping to buy his favor). EXCEPT, Timmy’s not the only one in the running for Jason’s hand. 

>>Enter Dick Grayson. Dick was often third-wheel to galas and other events with Bruce and Selina, often exasperated and bored. But, so so similar to Tim, attends an event expecting to be bored out of his mind and is instead captivated by this stunning actor aka Jason. Cue the courting and gifts. 

And expectedly, Tim and Dick both start to realize there’s someone else trying to steal Jason and they figure out who. And this starts an epic rivalry over Jason’s heart. It starts with trying to out-gift the other, both buying Jason elaborate but meaningful gifts (rare books he likes, regular books, flowers and jewelry, donations to his favorite charities, etc). And it escalates rather quickly. I imagine Dick can be downright mean in this and Tim is just as biting, both unashamed in their rivalry and obsession with Jason. Anyways, there’s a lot of fun and hilarious stuff you could do with Dick and Tim fighting without physically fighting. (I’m giggling over them sniping at each other over twitter and Gothamnities just being ???? until Jason [Gotham’s adored theater nerd] chimes in and fans start having a lightbulb moment) 

Eventually, Tim and Dick’s rivalry hits a high point and the two tumble into bed together. And then they both decide they can just share Jason. Jason, of course, is oblivious to all of this. He likes Dick and Tim a lot, like a little too much, but won’t make the first move because he is a shy baby and then starts to think they’re only doing it as like a weird rich kid rivalry ritual and don’t actually care about him or his feelings. 

After Jason’s (inaccurate) revelation, he starts to pull away from Dick and Tim (especially when paparazzi and social media pick up on the fact that Dick and Tim seem to be “dating”). Dick and Tim take this as a challenge, and Jason (and his coworkers/friends) thought it was bad when those two hated each other, but Tim and Dick working together??? It is…terrifying? Impressive? Terrifyingly impressive? Jason’s already head over heels, but now he’s obsessed even more (but also overwhelmed and a bit light-headed at all the swooning he's doing, it’s a bit too much at times). I’m running out of steam here, but eventually Dick and Tim do manage to convince Jason that yes, they do adore him, and no, this is not a weird rich-kid rival thing. And Gotham breathes a sigh of relief when Jason gets caught leaving Dick-Tim's penthouse covered in hickies and wearing their clothes :))