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melded-galaxy · 6 months

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Ultimis Richtofen: Throughout the years

For this, i wanted to analyse the characterisation and traits of ultimis richtofen throughout the different games and maps using in game quotes/ radios, especially how he as a character has transformed through the years. Part 1 of 3?? I think.

Early years: Not too much is known about Ultimis Richtofen's past, however some quotes over the years hint at details, although it is unlikely whether all are fully accurate due to Richtofen suffering from memory loss due to both the apothicons influence/overexposure to element 115. In Ascension, he mentions having a sister, whose dolls he crushed to make her cry.

Not much is known about Ultimis Richtofen's parents. I doubt he was an orphan from the get-go like Primis Richtofen, as he does mention his mother in multiple quotes. He also stated when around the campfire in Tag der toten, that he always saw Maxis as a bitter rival, when Primis Richtofen opened up about viewing Maxis as a father figure growing up.

In Shangri-la when getting the spectre from the box, he implies he was close to a former college roommate, 'who had a little gun, but a large barrel'. In Shangri-la, he also claims 'he was conceived in a mine cart... or was it in a lab?' However, he's likely to be bullshitting.

Ultimis Richtofen before touching the MPD: Ultimis Richtofen before his descent into insanity acts much like his Primis self did in Origins - sane, incredibly intelligent and still with a sense of morality and good intentions. He disagrees with Maxis' decision to secretly make weapons for the nazis, making the very reasonable argument that scientists from all over the world work at group 935. He also seemingly cares about the well-being of colleagues such as Dr Groph and Schuster, treating them with respect and conspiring with them against Maxis.

At the same time, Edward had still joined the Illuminati, an organization seeking power and control over the world, with the intent to spy on and leak information from Group 935, showing that even before losing his mind, Ultimis Richtofen was still likely a power-hungry and morally dubious individual with an obvious agenda. The Apothicans' influence may have just fueled this darker side of the man. I also believe Ultimis Richtofen probably suffered from mental health issues long before he teleported to the moon, something that may have made it easier for the Apothicans to influence his mental state.

Ultimis Richtofen after touching the MPD: On January 4th 1940, despite Dr. Schuster's warnings, Richtofen boldly opted to use himself as a test subject in his attempts to master teleportation, the result eventually leading to the destruction of countless lives, Edward's sanity and the world itself.

Immediately after his fateful encounter with the MPD, Richtofen began hearing whispers, who he originally mistook for Schuster. He didn't have much time to ponder on it, as he was swiftly teleported from the moon to a jungle in Shangri-la. There, he was presumably captured after being chased by the locals and was deemed a 'god' by them. Much of Richtofen's time ruling the jungle is a mystery; its stated he lived among them for three weeks studying vril devices and the element 115 that was found there. He also encountered the focusing stone for the first time, something he needed later for his plans to retake the MPD from Samantha and find Agartha. The natives' worship of him may have also played a hand in Richtofen developing a god complex.

It's evident that Richtofen's mental state also deteriorates rapidly as after a mere three weeks when rejoining Schuster, he's acting noticeably manic and obsessive in his goal to reach Agartha, and is already talking aloud about the voices. He is also incredibly secretive, not answering any of Schuster's questions, and only barking orders at the man.

Following his return, Richtofen then begins plans to make a base on the moon where the MPD is located using the teleporters named Griffin Station. He employs Groph, Schuster and many other dissatisfied workers of Group 935 in a coup against Maxis.

Around this time, Edward curiously leaves the Illuminati's service. When asked why, he states only that 'teddy is a liar'.

In a personal log in 1942, Maxis expressed concern for Richtofen's mental state and no longer trusted the man, showing in turn that by this point in his corruption by the apothicans, Richtofen was most likely struggling to hide his sadistic desires and mental health issues.

Stupidly, Maxis continued to have Richtofen babysit Samantha while he was away on other business. Richtofen most likely resented having to look after his nemesis' daughter and grew to hate Samantha almost as much as Ludwig Maxis. It's been stated multiple times that while in Edward's care, Richtofen ran multiple experiments on the child, including injecting her with doses of element 115. I'm not sure how long exactly, but Samantha most likely spent years primarily in the care of Richtofen. This, along with the experiments performed on her, most likely twisted the young girl's mind long before she took control of the MPD and witnessed her father's death.

It's clear by at least 1942, Edward Richtofen has no moral compass left whatsoever, and he is willing to harm any living being if it means achieving his own goals.

In 1942, Schuster and Groph also learn that MPD is powered on the souls of the living when they shoot a rat near the chamber. After learning of this, Edward orders the tanks to be filled, which they do by executing prisoners by gunshot near the MPD.

On July 15th 1945, Richtofen, with Samantha still in his care, is sent to a Siberian facility to conduct experiments on three test subjects for the super soldier program the Nazis sought - Nikolai Belinski, Pablo Marinus and Takeo Masaki.

However, by early September, Pablo Marinus died at the hands of Richtofen when his spleen was removed. Shortly before this, Tank Dempsey was captured in Verruckt attempting to rescue Peter Mccain and was brought to Siberia to replace Pablo.

Richtofen's mannerisms and personality in the Call of the Dead diary entries seem extremely similar to how he acts in Kino onwards. He displays an irrational hatred of monkeys and Americans. He uses drugs as well as both physical and psychological torture to control and manipulate the test subjects and shows no remorse for any of his actions. He views the test subjects similarly to toys, lamenting 'breaking' the Mexican.

Richtofen is also increasingly paranoid about spies infiltrating their ranks, correctly guessing that both Harvey Yena and Peter Mccain are spies acting in America's interest.

Richtofen's hatred of Dempsey starts here, as unlike the other two test subjects, Tank keeps breaking through the restraints and insulting Richtofen. Nikolai's alcoholism may begin here as well, as the doctor injects the Russian with Element 115 mixed with Vodka to get him to accept the stimuli.

While at the Agarthan facility, Edward also manages to create another part of the Agarthan Device - the Elemental Shard, by binding his and the three test subject's souls to a piece of Element 115.

However, before Richtofen could complete the Agarthan Device, Harvey Yena reported to Maxis that Richtofen had been suffering from 115-induced delusions, and had been using 935 resources for personal projects. It was there that Yena revealed Maxis had ordered all development of the DG2 to be halted and that Maxis wished to speak to Richtofen at Der Riese.

He is obviously fully insane by this point and by the last diary entry, he knows Maxis won't follow through on his promise to mass produce the Wunderwaffe DG2, and plans to callously kill both him and Samantha.

Richtofen then returns to Der Riese with Dempsey, Nikolai, Takeo, and Samantha in tow. He places the test subjects into sleep, ready to be awakened whenever. While in Der Riese, he and Maxis argue about Richtofen's loyalty to Group 935 and the matter of the mass production of the Wunderwaffe DG2 being cancelled. The two scientists then prepared to work on the teleportation tests together, with Richtofen secretly revelling in his plan to kill Maxis and Samantha, and finally taking control of the MPD.

On October 13th, 1945, Maxis and Richtofen performed teleportation test trials on Test Subjects Number 3, 4, and 5. All tests failed, including Test 5, where Maxis uses Fluffy, Samantha's dog. All the while, Richtofen is putting on a convincing act of pretending to still be the sane, dutiful assistant he had been in the past to Maxis. Samantha runs into the room, spots Fluffy, now a hellhound, and rushes into the chamber. Maxis tries to stop her and almost gets her out of the test chamber, but before he can, Richtofen shuts the door, trapping Maxis and his daughter inside with the zombified dog. He then activates the teleporter, teleporting all three away.

Samantha was teleported to Griffin station while Groph and Schuster were working on the MPD. Running into the MPD, the girl was drawn inside of it, where she became corrupted by the Dark Aether. Maxis was teleported to the Crazy place from Origins and developed the power to merge with electricity (??).

Richtofen then shortly returned to the moon, where he quickly learned that Samantha was trapped in the MPD. He then ordered Groph to teleport Maxis there to coax her out of the device. In an effort to free Samantha, Maxis, at gunpoint, approaches the MPD in an attempt to persuade her to come out. Once she did, Maxis gave her an instruction, to "Kill them...all." Maxis then kills himself and merged with the technology of Griffin Station, while Samantha unleashes the undead upon the base.

With Samantha now in control of the MPD, and subsequently, the zombies, Richtofen then returned to Der Riese and, after fighting through the undead horde, awakened Dempsey, Takeo, and Nikolai. With no recollection of who they were or who Richtofen was, they agreed to help him.

The four of them then travelled to the Rising Sun facility, in search of Richtofen's missing diary.

Shi No Numa: I see Shi No Numa as an almost prototype Richtofen, this first incarnation of the character especially leans into the mad nazi doctor stereotype as well as him being a military figure, with his quotes about having a Hitler youth knife and his military-like shouts to his teammates 'show no fear!' 'Stick together!'. His voice is also noticeably deeper in both shi no numa and der riese.

Strangely enough, Richtofen thinks he is still a member of the Illuminati in both Shi No Numa and Der Riese despite leaving the group in 1940: 'Illumaniti, I WORK FOR THEE!' 'The Illuminati would be pleased with you, Nikolai!' Out of universe, I think this is because the storyline is still very new and has since undergone many retcons and changes. In Universe, I think a possible explanation for this is that Richtofen suffers from memory issues relating to both his exposure to element 115 and the effects of the MPD. He most likely gets confused fairly often and forgets past events.

Interestingly enough, the doctor dislikes killing the hellhounds, a trait carried over to future maps.

His favourite weapons are the MP40, STG 44 and of course the Wunderwaffe DG2.

At this point, Ultimis Richtofen still treats the rest of the crew like comrades, calling them 'brothers' in multiple quotes, likely to attempt to gain their trust and eventually establish himself as the leader of the group. Shi No Numa Richtofen also doesn't seem to know that the demonic announcer is Samantha, believing that the power-ups he and the rest of ultimis pick up are sent from 'the dark one/his masters/the voices'. Richtofen is also less afraid of the voices in Shi No Numa than he is in future maps, readily obeying them instead of attempting to shut them out.

Overall, I'd say Richtofen is more sane in both Shi No Numa and Der Riese than he is from Kino Der Toten onwards, though he also acts much more under the direct control of the Apothicans/voices than he does in later instalments, which I find interesting.

Despite small changes, Richtofen's madness, bizarre mannerisms and overall sadism are still very prominent and an integral part of his character.

Der Riese: Much like how he was in Shi No Numa, Der Riese Richtofen is slightly saner compared to later maps. His status as a scientist and doctor seems more emphasised than before. His annoyance/dislike of Dempsey and approval of Nikolai are also made more clear in this map: 'Dempsey do you mind keeping the noise down? Some of us ARE TRYING TO WORK!!' 'You are head and shoulders above them Nikolai!' At this point, it's made explicit that Richtofen is keeping secrets from the rest of the team, pretending not to know how the teleporters work and about Group 935 in general.

Funnily enough, Richtofen admits to not being very skilful with most weaponry: 'To kill quickly ja. With skill, no.' Quotes from Dempsey, admittedly probably biased, also imply that out of the four, Richtofen is the worst shot and least active: 'Hey Richtofen, I'm glad you fired your weapon, but you missed!' 'The doctor is... a really bad shot!' 'Richtofen fired his weapon again... hell must be freezing over.'

Kino Der Toten: Richtofen in this map and onwards is much more stereotypically flamboyant - his voice is pitched higher and he has a slight lisp at times. He's even more emotionally unstable than he was in the previous two maps, having very childish outbursts at times: crying when he's out of ammo, crying about what was done to the hellhounds, shouting 'FLASHY LIGHTS!' at times when there's a fire sale etc.

Edward is also fond of referring to himself in the third person: 'the doctor is on his way!' 'no touchy the doctor... unless he asks.'

He distrusts his former test subjects, as seen in the opening line in Kino Der Toten: 'I still do not trust my unconventional allies, but they are of great use to me. BUT! I digress.'

He also appears surprised that the MPD is capable of time travel, something that happened unplanned as a result of Dempsey firing a wonder weapon while in the middle of teleporting back in Der Riese (Spoiler alert, Dempsey yet again does this in Shangri La. Goddammit Dempsey.)

Richtofen previously acting as a parental figure towards Samantha is also implied in some of the following quotes in this map: 'Samantha, didn't I teach you a lesson about this?' 'Samantha! Samantha where have you run off to!'

Overall, I'd say Richtofen's comical traits start to become a bit flanderized from this map onwards, for better or worse. Though in universe, I'd say this is most likely due to Richtofen's mind actively deteriorating from stress, past untreated mental illness, the Apothicans/voices and element 115.

Ascension: While Edwards acts much like he did in Kino, albeit sounding slightly more tired and deadpan, there are some interesting quotes in this map that reveal details about his past. For one, it's revealed that Richtofen may have had a sister. He states he used to crush her dolls as a child to make her cry. If this is true, which is dubious, this shows Ultimis Richtofen may have always had a sadistic streak, even as a child.

Richtofen is also wearing a spacesuit for some reason. Perhaps he was separated from the rest of Ultimis for a while, probably attempting to go to the moon and take control of the MPD earlier, before realising he needs more components first.

In the Black ops 3 remaster, you can see the shadow man's silhouette watching Richtofen and the rest of the group from a window in this map, clearly paying close attention to what his pawn is doing.

#richtofen #edward richtofen #ultimis richtofen #long post #cod zombies #nazi zombies #call of duty #character analysis #my post

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why-do-i-like-the-bad-guys · 10 months

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A point no one ever touches on about Flint:

The fact that he was raised by his grandfather.

Now, maybe it was common back then, but from personal experience; losing your parents at such a young age makes a huge impact on a person.

People argue that “Flint” was created because of the loss of Thomas Hamilton. But I’d like to think it was when he lost his parents. The only difference being, Miranda and Thomas allowed him to come out of the shadows, out of hiding. He had that rage inside him before he lost Thomas, his boss in the Navy said so himself after he beat up a guy in the bar. He had a darkness in him that not even he understood the depths of.

I can definitely relate to that statement and mindset, I think as a kid instead of acting out on his aggression; Flint used books and stories to try and escape his reality, so he wouldn’t be alone with his own thoughts. I do the same with TV shows and stories I write.

But then he found Thomas and Miranda and he didn’t need the books to crawl into, he was accepted by them, welcomed. And as someone who was adopted themselves, it’s extremely hard and sometimes it feels impossible to believe that someone could love you as you are or for who you are. Not only that, I think he found family within them, something sometimes hard for someone who loses their parents.

Flint tried to fit in by becoming an officer, upholding the standards of the law and whatnot, to be like everyone else. But deep inside, I think he felt very out of place and alone. He saw the world as it was, the cruelty within the people, and he ended up showing that to Thomas who was quite oblivious to it. But Flint knew the world was cruel at an early age.

They come from different backgrounds, but together they get to see the world through each other’s eyes, and that is a world that they can see being happy in.

Now, I know a lot of people like to think it’s purely queer rage that drove Flint, but I like to think it was something much deeper than that. Yes, he loved Thomas, inside and out, but I think Thomas was the first person who he didn’t have to pretend with. He was the first person who made him feel as if he wasn’t alone: that he was worthy of being loved. Then he was taken away and James became Flint and took Miranda away with him out of England.

Her ghost even says that first to him, she was a mother, and that’s why he was so ruined over her. He lost his mother again. I think it just shows that his reasons are a lot deeper than just being ostracized for being queer in that time. I think his rage goes beyond that, it goes all the way to his core of who he believes he is because of the loss of his parents. He came up from nothing, his grandfather wasn’t well off, he didn’t have a mother figure, that can be extremely damaging to a child growing up.

And sure, he had his grandfather, but growing up without parents also makes it extremely hard to figure out who you are. And it doesn’t specifically say how he lost his parents, but personally I like to believe that he lost his mother in childbirth, maybe his father died before he was born. It does mention that his father was a carpenter’s mate (worked on a ship) and that James himself had no schooling growing up. Which means, he learned everything himself because his grandfather was a fisherman and probably wasn’t well educated either. So he came from literally nothing and made something of himself, yet I don’t think he was content. I think he kept climbing the ranks, hoping it would give him a sense of meaning or purpose within his life, give him the peace he wanted, fill the hole within that losing his parents left.

An additional to that would be that James McGraw was a personality he put on, much like he did with Flint.

I also think he saw Gates as a father figure, a mentor, someone he trusted and respected more than any one else. So I think when Gates betrayed him, it broke something inside of him and he felt alone again.

He also says that England took his home; and I don’t think he meant the physical place, I think he meant Thomas. But I also think he meant his final security within himself. With Thomas and Miranda he found family, he found love and trust.

When Miranda was murdered it was the absolute last straw for him. It was like his mother dying all over again; except this time she was murdered, and now no one was safe from his vengeance. And people might think he went overboard, but think about it: someone insinuated that she was a slut and he almost beat the man to death. I think it was well within his rage now he burned the entire place down after she was murdered. Hell, those people got off easy.

He also talks about where the name Flint came from. A man that was never seen again. I think he chose it because in his mind, identity was something you could change, something you could toss away when done with. But closer to the end, he realized, he was Flint, Flint was him, and there was no throwing it away and starting over.

He tells Silver that he shouldn’t be afraid that he (Silver) will be his end because I think he already realizes that he’s already his own end. That there is no other way other than to die, in order to get rid of Flint. I think he knew at some point, that Silver would have to kill him and he was oky with it, but as long as the war was won or Silver carried on with the efforts of the war, so Flint would no longer be needed. Or Flint would just off himself when the time came. It was like passing on the torch, only Silver blew it out in front of him.

And for the offing himself part, we all know he would do it because at the end of the first season he tried to drown himself, he gave up hope. So he does have it in him to do that. (Not so fun fact: adoptees are 4x more likely to attempt suicide)

And I think it’s another reason Flint allowed himself to trust Silver in the first place. On some level, he knew that Silver understood what it was to have no solid identity, to have a background that made something inside of you missing. Silver had no problems shifting his position on the ship in order to stay relevant, which is why they made such good partners, because they understood one another in a way that Gates never could. But the thing with Silver was that he couldn’t see the ultimate bigger picture like Flint could, he didn’t have the loss Flint had, the sacrifices that Flint made, all he saw in the end was the destruction, not the new beginning coming out of the ashes.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

#toby stephens #captain james flint #black sails #adopted #dead parents #john silver #hal gates #but seriously I need more people to talk about this or figure this out #Flints character #james flint

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bluerasbunny · 7 months

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ok, i've seen a lot of debate on this and i just want to put in my two cents real quick!

explaining my reasoning for why i think sun is seeing us as a child and not an adult in help wanted 2

(aka. world's most incoherent sun analysis)

to preface; no hate at all to people that want to think of this differently! everyone will have different perceptions of help wanted 2 and that is fine!! i understand the upset about the changes to suns character and i hold no grudge against people that dislike the ruder portrayals of sun!

this is just my personal beliefs and analysis i've made!

hello hello! i apologize if this is incoherent, this was originally written on discord and i'm just pasting it in and formatting it for tumblr!

i am open to discussion on this, but PLEASE be nice (and use tone tags!!)

"Bad kid, bad kid! I'm putting you in timeout!" "You stay in timeout until your parents arrive!" - sun, help wanted 2

these two lines. are INCREDIBLY significant to this and why i think there is just literally no way he's seeing us as an adult at all!

why on EARTH would sun pull the time-out line if we're an adult? why in the world would he refer to 'your parents', why would he call us 'bad kid'? sun has the capability and sense to recognize an adult when he sees one, and honestly i feel like sun would be more polite to staff than this! not out of genuine respect, no- out of genuine fear. a common argument i see is 'maybe he's being mean because it's a training thing with a staff member playing the role of a child', but this circles right back to the point that sun would not be a bitch in front of staff. he is smarter than that, that is a fast track to a whole world of hell for him and i DOUBT he'd want that. keep in mind sun is an actor, he knows how to throw on a little show and pretend for the eyes of someone he'd need to pretend for i think what we see in help wanted 2 isn't a VR version of sun, it's not him being a bitch to staff- i don't think sun ever had the balls to be rude to staff, knowing his life is in their hands- i think this is just. who he REALLY is. like that is sun, at his core, before it all went horribly HORRIBLY wrong. keep in mind the first time we saw sun was at his worst. his worst point mentally, the most scared he's been in his life (barring RUIN, he was also pretty fucking scared in that- but in some way he had hope. he knew how to fix this, he just needed someone to help him. there was NO hope for him in SB, he was totally at moon's mercy), paranoid out of his mind and desperately fighting against moon. we CANNOT take that as a representation of who sun is, who he REALLY is when he's not out of his mind scared. sun in HW2 is casual, he is calm- only a little afraid, when nap time draws near, but not 'standing on the desk losing his fucking mind clawing his face yelling about lights on and why would we, a small child, do that' afraid which is a significant difference! he even THREATENS us with nap time, showing that he's clearly a lot calmer and in his right mind- he is lax and well. i think this is, again, evidence that this is just who sun really is i understand why people don't want that to be true!! i understand why people want to believe that maybe sun isn't as rude as this- and honestly, i don't think he always is that rude!! i think we're still missing vital pieces to who sun really is beyond the mortal terror, we have not seen him in his theatre days still but help wanted 2 is the first time we have EVER seen sun calm and not acting like the world will explode if moon exists for even a second. and that is so incredibly significant in the portrayal and discussion of his character and personality and with the context that sun is an actor and designed for theatre- there's also reasonable proof to theorize that maybe his daycare persona, the way he acts in security breach before you go behind the counter, is a performance. he overblows it and goes WAY over the top. y'know. like a stage persona. i think part of it is being conditioned to act that way by his environment, yes!! but i also think that a lot of it is acting. note how he starts on what resembles a stage in SB, making a grand entrance as if walking out as a performer. note his dialogue in help wanted 2 (and listen closely!! pay attention to what he says, the circumstances of it all!!). note his mental state in security breach and parallel that to HW2. note the details. you might notice something new about our beloved jesters!

tldr; sun isn't being an ass because we're an adult, that's just how he is, even WITH the kids!! HW2 is the truest, closest representation to who sun is that we have ever had and we cannot use SB or RUIN as a representation of sun's genuine personality due to the circumstances he's in at the time and his behavior likely being incited by paranoia and it may potentially be a performance sun is putting on.

i don't think sun is a sweet sunshine boy (i do not have any issues with people that do want to see him this way though! love everyone's interpretations!!), i think sun is a multi-faceted and flawed person, and that is so incredibly interesting!

#a talking bunny #dca fandom #fnaf #fnaf sun #dca analysis #fnaf analysis #long post #again i am not trying to be mean to people that see sun differently!! love and respect to everyones povs!!#this is just my own take and i wanted to get it out there!! maybe it'll bring more perspective on sun for people!!

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arifeathers · 6 months

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Give me some of your hcs for Kickin chicken and DogDay for your Oneiros au!

KickinChicken 🏳️‍⚧️

He’s the middle child out of five siblings, one older brother and sister and two younger sisters. Gets along with his sisters of them most of the time but has a strained relationship with his dad and oldest brother.

Also has an adopted cousin named Lyra Lorikeet who is two years older than him. She taught him how to mimic other people’s voices and he often uses it to play pranks on the others with his friendly rival and best friend, Hoppy.

Came out to his family as trans at age 10. His sisters and his mum took it well and accepted Kickin as a brother and son, his father and brother didn’t however and often purposely misgendered and dead named him, among other things.

Got his top surgery at age 16.

Left the henhouse shorty after three weeks of his father and brother’s bs, despite his mum’s and sister’s protests. Went to stay with his childhood friend PickyPiggy and her two mums after making it to Critter’s Valley, before building his beach hut by himself at 15 years old.

Loves the beach and often surfs whenever he can and wants to. If not surfing, then he’s likely seen participating in whatever competition he and Hoppy have made up together.

Has very good accuracy and often uses throwing knives and stars as weapons. He doesn’t have any magic like Catnap, DogDay, CraftyCorn and Hoppy, but makes the most of his throwing skills and athleticism to protect himself and his friends.

Often gives out eggs to his friends living in Critter’s Valley. He finds it pretty shameful and embarrassing, but his friends don’t treat him any different. Picky often invites him over to help her make breakfast and cook for the other critters. (He doesn’t eat the eggs for obvious reasons.)

First met Bubba when the elephant first moved to the Valley. Initially he was pretty neutral towards him, giving an energetic hello, a friendly slap on the back and making him do friendly strength competitions (which he always loses.). But his feelings towards Bubba started to change after the latter stood up to his father and older brother over him being trans, beginning a proper friendship and a bashful crush.

His other best friend after Hoppy is DogDay. They often hang out to together and sing karaoke duets during sleepovers or in general. Both are also constantly pushing the other to confess their feelings to their respective crushes every now and then. He also does the same thing with Hoppy and her crush on Bobby.

DogDay ☀️

The youngest brother out of his two parents and an older brother. He was abandoned by them at 7 years of age for being too “weak, clumsy and useless”, under the premise of having a family picnic with them. Held a grudge against his family ever since, except for his aunt and uncle who took him and Catnap into their care after they made their way to Critter Valley.

Met Catnap shortly after realising his family isn’t coming back for him and the latter waking up on the physical realm and unable to go home to the Dream realm. Awkward first meeting from being startled by each other and a lot of hissing and growling, before realising that neither of them are gonna hurt each other and slowly bonding over being fellow orphans. He let Catnap come with him, after deciding to find his Aunt and Uncle who lives in Critter Valley.

The journey to Critter’s Valley took roughly a year and a half for both Dogday and Catnap and full of perils, excitement and the two of them becoming inseparable.

His Uncle and Aunt was initially unnerved by Catnap’s otherworldly aura and demeanour but look after him at their nephew’s insistence. They both moved out sometime ago and left their house to Dogday and Catnao deciding to move next door into the old treehouse, which was later renovated with the other critters’ help.

Has feelings for his best friend since they were kids, but didn’t want to confess due to belief that Catnap only sees him as a brother. Catnap on the other hand, feels the same but is too shy to confess.

Is immune to Catnap’s Red Smoke thanks to a magic charm cast over him by the purple cat when they were children.

Is able to cast magic in the form of ball shaped lights and blasts. He doesn’t like fighting unless it’s absolutely necessary and to defend himself. Prefers to stun his attackers using his light magic, but will use his firewood axe if needed.

Before winter, Dogday often chops firewood for himself and the other critters, going from house to house to deliver a stack.

Next to Catnap, Kickin Chicken is his best friend and they often sing karaoke together or go to the beach together. He is also able to match Kickin with any teasing remarks.

If he meets his real life canon counterpart in the factory, he’ll be shocked, horrified and just full of denial that his best friend (and crush) would ever do that to him. He would also save him from the mini critters.

If he meets the Prototype, he’ll be scared of the latter’s appearance, until realisation kicks in when he remembers Catnap dreaming about a metal claw and fear turns into protective rage.

#asks 📬#answered asks #ppt #poppy playtime #smiling critters #poppy playtime chapter 3 #poppy playtime fandom #ppt au #the oneiros au #kickinchicken #dogday #gijinka #human au #headcanon 📝#lore development #lore

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moonspirit · 28 days

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Hey moon, this doesn’t have anything to do with shipping and I’m not sure if you’re still doing requests or anything, but what do you think about Armin looking up to Erwin as kind of a father figure?

Like they have a lot of things in common and Erwin canonically acknowledged how smart Armin is, and kind of respected him for it. And Armin losing his whole family before he was a teenager probably impacted him so much, I think he’s kind of a sensitive person who tries not to show it, but just thinks Erwin is so cool.

Sorry for the long paragraph.

Hello anon!

I'm sorry for inserting an excerpt I once wrote; a really tiny bit about this very thing (for those who read VBEOW, this is from Ch 10) :

In that brief moment that he fires his flares, he feels honoured and proud to be working under his Commander. To stand beside him, see the gears working in his head, understand the logical reasoning behind his strategization – skills obtained through so many years of glorious, bloody experience.

He watches Commander Erwin Smith choose his priorities.

I really agree with the notion that Armin looked up to Erwin not only for his intelligence and Commandeering skills, but also as a substitute parental figure. We never got much of the two beyond their canon interactions (over too soon by S3) but it's really good to imagine that Armin sought Erwin out several times for an intelligent conversation.

I believe one of the best things Erwin did was attempt to lift Armin up into a more Commandeering role considering he was still a green recruit.. The S3 part when he puts his soldiers under Armin's command is one of my personal favourites. Him recognising Armin's potential to be someone far greater in the future speaks to Erwin's ability to judge a person well by their character, personality and talent. I think that by doing these things such as giving Armin credence when he voices his suspicions, doubts and theories, acknowledging his intelligence and strategic skill, he was not only ensuring the development of a future Commander succeeding him, but also in giving the 15 year old a push to see for himself what he's worth.

That said, I'm not of the opinion that Erwin's and Armin's similarities are many aside from the obvious surface level ones. They are both good Commanders, they are both sharp, they are both highly skilled tacticians and strategists and they're both blonde, blue eyed, and bushy eyebrowed. But that's about it imo. Where Erwin was rather selfish, Armin was incredibly selfless. Where Erwin employed approaches that could lead to mass casualties, Armin was incredibly cautious and prioritised minimising loss of life. There are others too but that's for another post.

On the fatherly front, for Armin, yes, I see it. I see him thinking he'd like to learn from Erwin, study his methods, put forward his own and get feedback on what works. I also can see him yearning to be acknowledged by Erwin in some small way as a result of the admiration he holds for the Commander. Armin really respected Erwin for his singular focus and determination - something he's known to waver in himself thanks to his insecurity and hesitations (here's another difference between them).

I personally like to think they played a game of chess or something together, sometime. By accident, of course. But in that game Erwin probably saw a lot in what this boy was made up of. Similarly I think Armin saw what his Commander was made up of, only bettering his understanding of the person, and making him glad to have spent one hour, even if just one hour, with a man of his stature and excellence.

Because you see, he will be searching for a parent figure all his life. Nobody will *be* that forever, he will just spend life finding bits and pieces of what his parents could've been like to him if they'd lived. He found them in Erwin, Hange, Levi... And he will continue to find them in others as his life goes on. Because when you can never have the one thing you want to have, you are condemned to a life of yearning.

#askies #armin arlert #erwin smith #headcanon #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot #snk #arminarlert #aot erwin #character analysis #meta #?#sorta

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andreal831 · 1 month

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You keep mentioning how Elijah will sacrifice any and everyone to keep his family safe, which I fully agree with.

1. Would he have sacrificed cami to save his family? We see him do it to Davina, but he is also a lot closer to Cami than he was to Davina. But then we also see him do it to Marcel.

2. Hayley was very clearly way more important to him than any other woman he had ever been with. When/why/how did Hayley become basically the only person outside of his blood relations that he would A. never sacrifice and B. do absolutely anything in order to save her? I would say it’s partially to do with her having a baby with Klaus, but I definitely wouldn’t say that’s the only reason either.

Sorry for the delay in responding to this. It took me a minute to find the post I wanted to refer to.

A while back I answered an ask about how Elijah has different "tiers" of families, here. So when we talk about Elijah doing anything for family, we have to remember these tiers.

Elijah would sacrifice himself/the world if his entire family was in trouble, but he would also sacrifice Finn to save Klaus and Rebekah. Kol, he would struggle a bit with but at the end of the day, he puts Rebekah and Klaus over Kol. Klaus and Rebekah, it depends where we are in the series who he would choose.

Cami was one of the few people that Elijah allowed to fall into the family tier. I do think Marcel did, but again, he was not as high as Klaus. So when Marcel viewed Marcel as a risk to Klaus, it was a no brainer. I wish the show would have allowed Elijah and Marcel to have a more familial bond which would have really complicated the decision for Elijah. But I digress, back to Cami.

Cami had a special place in his heart, not only because of how she cared for him, but how she cared for his family. Elijah held her in high regard and made sure she had respect until her very last breath. It would have taken a lot more for him to sacrifice Cami, but at the end of the day, if it was her or the family, I could see him doing it. He would look for every other possible option, like they did with Davina. He would even try to sacrifice himself first, but if it was Cami or Klaus or Cami or Rebekah, Elijah always chooses family. But like he would be sticking all of them in Chambres to buy time before he resorted to that. He would also spend the rest of his life feeling guilty about it and trying to find a way to bring her back. Knowing Cami, she would have told him to sacrifice her and told him she understood. She would have tried to be brave to the very end. Honestly, I'm going to cry just thinking of the scene.

I don't think he would sacrifice her for Kol or Finn. He would just try to find a way to bring Kol back... maybe. Not Finn though.

Now Hayley was a special case and it would be naïve to say it wasn't in large part because of Hope. But I view it a little differently than just because she had Klaus' baby. I think it was more to do with her having a Mikaelson baby. Some people disagree, but to me, Elijah loved Hope from day one. He wanted to be a parent for so long and this was the closest he would ever get. Once he found out about Hope, especially once she was born, she became the number one priority for Elijah. We see Elijah prioritize Hayley's safety over Klaus in season one. Yes, he was already falling in love with her separate from Hope, but he had the excuse of prioritizing the baby as well as her. It allowed him to view her as family without being scared Klaus would harm her like he had in the past.

So since Hope moved to top spot in the family, that moved Hayley up too by necessity. Rebekah and Elijah especially understood the pain of losing their mother at a young(ish) age and wanted Hope to grow up with that love that they never did (partially cause Esther just wasn't that type of mother). It allowed him to feel like he was still honoring "always and forever" because he was protecting the most precious Mikaelson by protecting Hayley.

All of this to say, I don't necessarily think Hayley was more important than any of the women in his past, it was just the story we were watching. Again, I think he was able to treat her differently because she had more protection in his family than any of the other women. I think Elijah is very specific with words and he told us that he's only found love like that twice before Hayley. We know he is referring to Celeste and Tatia. He deeply cared for other women, but was not in love with them the way he was for those three.

Elijah never had the chance to choose Tatia over his family. But we do know he had a falling out with Klaus over her, so he did to an extent. If she had lived, we don't know what that would have looked like. Same with Celeste. I would love to read a story where, instead of pretending to be dead, Celeste goes to Elijah immediately after Klaus has her killed and she body-jumped. Elijah was livid and we don't get to see how that anger manifested or how long it took them to recover their relationship. Celeste and Elijah could have been such a great team going up against Klaus, which is probably why the show didn't allow it. Klaus wouldn't have stood a chance.

So no, Elijah would never sacrifice her the way he did Celeste. But he knows Hayley would always be acting in a way that was best for Hope. They both wanted the same thing, Hope to have the best possible life. He also never would have left her behind like he did Katherine or Aya, but again, she was family in a more solid way. He also knows Hayley for much longer than he knew the others, or at least that is the impression I get from the flashbacks. Yes, Elijah will do anything for Hayley, even sacrifice members of his family to keep her safe, even Klaus. But it's not just because of how much he loves her. It's also because of how important she is to Hope. He finally has an excuse which allows him to honor "always and forever" in a selfish way.

I feel like my point is just getting circular at this point. But thank you for the ask!

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tiptapricot · 2 years

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1 antez, 5 romero, 18 nona, and 24 moses

(i saw the numbers in a ✨️vision✨️)

(ID in ALT)

1. Does your character have any siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Antez does have family and siblings and they are uh. Other angels and God. Essentially. Or what humans perceive as those things. They’re more weird interdimensional beings that can’t quite be nailed down as one thing, and also don’t line up well w specific religions. They also aren’t all family they’re kinda a race or species but there are some family dynamics that could be applied. It’s generally hard to define they’re just vibing, but Antez is closest to hiss “father,” or “God.” He can’t return to hiss dimension anymore since being turned and that fucking sucks! But he can still interact with others when they visit or reach out to hymn in their own ways.

From discord: “Was just smacked w like how [weddings are] usually tied to religion n like… while “God” in this isn’t exactly the same, like He’s a being but has been interpreted by humans differently than He truly is bc they can’t comprehend Him, but like… at whatever wedding [Antez and Romero] have Antez like kind of asking for His blessing, for Him to recognize their union, except it’s more like reaching out to a distant relative or parent n you don’t know if they’ll respond. Bc like antez through hiss own actions has been made solid, grounded on earth and essentially excluded from going back to wherever home was so just…. Ough.”

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Romero doesn’t carry much to Do stuff with, but he does a lot of work around the house and ranch so little things find their way in. Nails, a handful of picked cherry tomatoes, some flowers that have gotten a bit squished, a pocket knife. If he’s doing more rigorous work or work with stuff that snags, he takes his wedding ring off the cord around his neck and puts it in a pocket that buttons, just to be safe.

18. Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

Bona absolutely admires wisdom more. She doesn’t like rash choices that lose sight of the present, the here and now, and having lived for so long and through so much one of her favorite things is hearing stories, of people’s lives and their pasts and their most mundane desires and joys. She clicks more with people who’ve had long lives than those in a rush to get through theirs, though she respects drive and passion, she just thinks it needs a grounding line.

24. How quick is your character to trust someone else?

He doesn’t. Moses has a hard time forming connections with anyone. He keeps his walls firm and himself isolated, and his professional and personal relationships are highly calculated and performative. The only reason he’s gotten so close to Romero and Antez and Bona is because they’re so inhuman and separate from the things that scare him (ironically, as they’re all monsters). It removes his worry of human distrust, of societal judgements and connections. But even then his paranoia and boundaries cause things to grow and fester because that’s the space he’s found himself in. It’s possible that over time he could lose what he’s built there, but it hasn’t happened yet, and he’s clinging to that desperately.

Antez and Moses drawn by tira3sii, Romero drawn by spicyboelives, Bona… attempted vibe by me

Send me a character developing OC ask!

#these were so fUNNN THANKYOUUU #antez tag #romero tag #bona tag #moses tag #the fruits ocs #the fruit is answering again #the fruit is talking again

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andromacheflints · 2 years

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heyhey <3

stylian - scissors, verica - fire, sine - pencil, irene - spider, nyx - droplet, n then whoever u want for shaved ice, cloud, and knife

heyheyhey i May have gone a bit ham and also taken my time but I Got Excited so i apologise for nothing.

✂️ SCISSORS - what is the "last straw" for them to cut someone out of their life? how easily do they let go of people?.

The Thing about Stylian is that he already doesn’t have too many people in his life, because he had to cut contact with most people that knew him before age eighteen or so. (Plot reasons, he kind of lives under a fake name but I’m still figuring the details of this out). So he tries to keep his distance from the few friends he has, but is also scared of losing them, because he does not think he can be alone again. And like. He might become attached to someone without Expecting any friendship/love/loyalty back, and will remain fixated despite the other person not treating them very well, or not feeling as warmly about him.(This is kind of what happens with Verica; Stylian falls in love fast, and remains in love while Verica takes his sweet time figuring it out) (Also they were maybe married) (As I said I’m really figuring it out)

Basically I think that the only reason he would cut out ties with someone is if he is worried they might be a threat to his safety (aka the aforementioned fake name) in which case i don’t think he’d really hesitate at all?

🍧 SHAVED ICE - do they still have any objects from their childhood? what significance does it have to them? what would their reaction be if they lost it?

fkhd i was actually thinking about this the other day, because it kinda ties into the previous question? As in, those items are Stylian's only connection to his childhood, especially since he cannot keep photos or anything that might be identifying. I'm not entirely sure exactly what he keeps, actually. I think probably a couple of rings his parents used to wear, or diaries that he used to keep?

Whatever those objects are, I think he prefers to keep them sort of hidden? and he lives a very private life so the main concern if he lost them would be Who Took them and What Do They Know, subsequent panic, turn the entire house upside down looking for them, etc etc. ANd I think that at some level, this reaction would mask his sorrow over losing the link, which he does not allow himself to directly acknowledge (since he technically Chose to leave, and lowkey sees it as an abandonment).

🔥 FIRE - what habits do they have that hinder them from becoming their best self? do they have any self-destructive tendencies?

This is a very good question (← doesn’t have an idea of what Verica’s best self would be like)

Verica is very much a Boy King in some respects (casually cruel, impatient, expects everyone's obedience) (despite being only minor aristocracy) (like. her family has money and a sense of superiority but not that much power), while also sort of...despising the stationary aspect of rank or being Tied Down in major ways? This man very much lies awake thinking about Fucking Off to Space. So I guess that, she is not single-minded enough to be a proper Aristocrat or a Commander of her Household or whatever, while being too pampered to properly pursue a life of Space Vagary. Truly tragic.

Not sure if either of these could be considered a self-destructive tendency though.

🕷️ SPIDER - what is their biggest fear? do they have any irrational / mundane fears?

(context for the next few ones is that Irene Nyx and Sine are all partners)

I’m not sure if this is a fear, exactly, but I think that Irene spends a lot of time worrying about the decisions she made in the past, and she is afraid that there was some perfect option she did not take at the time, and that now she has ruined her own happiness. (I have a couple of different versions of the three, and Irena does this in all of them- for example, one Irena gave up some career aspirations in order to stay with her partners, while another decided to chase those aspirations and ended up becoming rich. She has regrets either way, but she’s always convinced that she lives in the worst possible universe.)

Now when it comes to mundane fears, I think heights make her uneasy, mostly because I keep putting her in very tall buildings. Mwahaha.

💧 DROPLET - random angst headcanon (CW for mentions of ableism)

I’m not. Sure this is angst or just sad actually

So. Nyx lives in a different country than his partners do.(He lives in Iwa, while Sine & Irena live in Traena) (Those names are mostly placeholder but they have been placeholder for a year now so.) A few years into living there he lost an eye, which, Iwa being the closest thing this planet has to Transhuman Capital of the World, he replaced with an eye that is Visibly Prosthetic.

Now, Traena in general is against body modification and people are Very Visibly Judgemental of him whenever he goes out (unless he wears a fucking eyepatch or something but then they still look at him weirdly because. you know he's a guy walking around the supermarket with an eyepatch. )

And while he misses his partners a lot, after some years he starts to dread coming to visit them, but he does not want to burden them with making them travel to Iwa, or let them know how soul-grinding it can get. So its this awful situation where Nyx's feelings with his partners mix with the dread that is associated with traveling to physically meet them, (not to mention Sine’s disquiet around it when he first showed up like that(they’ve grown past it since but yknow. It hurt at the time)) and they don't know why their boyfriend seems so agitated everytime they come pick him from the station.

☁️ CLOUD - a soft headcanon

I'm not sure how/if I'll ever have them resolve this.

Nyx is better-than-average at drawing, and he likes to make sketches of Irena& Sine whenever he visits them. Sine is the most patient between them, so sketches of them are usually more detailed, and sometimes in colour, while Nyx has to steal moments to draw Irena because She Will Not Fucking Stand still. He thinks Sine looks best in purple and orange, while Irena is blue. He takes some of the sketches with him in Iwa, but there are always enough half-finished or "forgotten" of them left in the apartment that Sine and Irena have filled an entire drawer.

He can't draw from memory, so he doesn't draw himself, but there is one (1) sketch in the apartment with his legs splayed across Sine's lap. (He's drawn them with red)

✏️ PENCIL - is there a particular quote / lyric that you associate with them?

Not really? I used to have, like, a whole fucking playlist for Sine, but their personality drifted a lot and I don’t have anything that applies. I really like this as a sound for them though.

🔪 KNIFE - how do they react to injury / misfortune befalling their loved ones (significant other, family, friends)? do they put themselves at blame? (CW for mentions of ableism)

So the thing about Sine is that they worry So Much, and they are pretty empathetic, so when they hear that someone they love has been hurt they go "oh they must be worried/sad/scared/disappointed/whatever". And this can be overwhelming for them, (especially if it's an emergency situation,) to the point they cannot think of ways to help, or even something like "how would i like to be treated if I was in their place?" and go from there. They are usually a good listener/caretaker after the fact, but put them in a situation where they need to take action and they are useless.

For example, when Nyx lost his eye they sort of. Broke down? Especially since they have different hungups around prosthetics than Nyx does and they were sure he’d see it as the End Of the World.(for the record, Irena is more conflicted. On the one hand, she’s also grew up in the Traenan culture, on the other hand she is a scientist and tries to be objective about this sort of thing.) They still don’t really talk about it.

I don’t think they really blame themself for anything (being halfway across the world and everything), but they do feel guilty over their reaction to it or their inability to help (being halfway across the world and everything).

#ty rainbow ilyyy #asks #ocs #this might be longer than anything ive written in the past months. what about it #stylian #verica #nyx #sine #irene

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araexec · 2 months

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Bullying of David & Apology

Katsuo exhibited bullying behavior towards multiple students at Arasaka Academy. His need to assert dominance and maintain his social status often led him to pick on those he perceived as weaker and different. Among his peers, Katsuo had a reputation for being intimidating and ruthless. Many students tried to avoid crossing him to prevent becoming his next target.

David was a special case for Katsuo. The bullying was more personal and vicious, driven by deeper emotions; jealousy and insecurity. He went out of his way to make David's life more difficult than it already was and using any means necessary to demean and demoralize him. David's background, achievements, and the potential he represented triggered Katsuo's worse insecurities and fears, making him focus his bullying efforts more intensely on David more than anyone else.

David symbolized many things Katsuo resented, including genuine relationships, perseverance, and the breaking of socio-economic barriers. David's sheer presence alone at the academy challenged the hierarchy Katuso benefited from.

Katsuo managed to avoid significant trouble for his bullying behavior due to his family influence and social status. His father is a high-ranking executive at Arasaka. This connection provided Katsuo with a layer of protection that even the faculty and administrators were afraid to take action. Katuso's social status among the students also played a role. His peers, fearing retaliation or wanting to stay on his good side, rarely reported his bullying or supported his victims.

As Katsuo matured and went through his own struggles, he did eventually come to regret the things he said to him and about his mother. Katsuo's experiences, especially the loss of his own father and the challenges he faced within the Tyger Claws, fostered a greater sense of empathy. He understood the pain of losing a parent and the importance of respecting others' family relationships.

Years later, after he paid a visit to his father's grave at the Columbarium, he decided to make one more stop; David's memorial. Right next to him was Gloria Martinez, the woman who he accused of being a joytoy to pay his son's tuition. She didn't deserve that. Her epitaph read:

"You were right. David reached the top of Arasaka Tower."

At first Katuso was confused by the message. Didn't he drop out? Then, it hit him. It was all over the news and net. His final standoff with Adam Smasher. Then, there was the legend himself:

"You didn't take me to the moon, but you were there with me."

Who ever wrote that must of really loved David. Lucky bastard. He was dead and he was still giving Katsuo more reasons to be jealous of him. He just didn't know when to stop.

Katsuo didn't have flowers for his grave, but he did have something for him. Something long overdue. His apology. It was long overdue and there is no way he could hear it, but it was personal and sincere. He opened up his contacts and sent David one final voice message.

"Hey David, it's Katsuo. I know you can't hear this, but I need to say it anyway. I've been thinking a lot about the past, about the things I said and did to you. There's no excuse for how I treated you, especially the things I said about your mom. It was cruel and you never deserved that. I was jealous of you, David. You had something I didn't; genuine connections, people who cared about you for who you are and not just because of your status or family. I took my own insecurities out on you, and that was wrong. Since then, I've gone through a lot. Losing my father, joining the Tyger Claws, and trying to find my place in this city. It's made me see things differently. I've realized how much my words and actions can hurt people and I regret every single time I hurt you. I wish I could take it all back, but I can't. All I can do now is apologize. I'm sorry. Truly sorry. You deserved better from me. I know this message will never reach you, but I needed to say it. For you, and myself. Rest in peace, David. I hope you found the peace you deserved. I promise to be better, to honor your memory by not repeating the mistakes of my past. You will be missed and judging by your epitaph, you definitely are. Hope my memorial is next to my dad when it's my turn."

#**Lore**: 物語

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stellarhistoria · 1 year

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We know how current Luka acts. But did he act different when the Cytos kids were younger?

fsdjsh, hello sweetheart, thank you for the asks

Fun facts before this all starts!

Luka used to be a very sickly child, to a point that his parents were constantly worried that he would not make it to adulthood. (Yes, even his father - the bastard supreme, Moroz Cytos - was concerned for him; that's how bad it was for Luka's health half the time.)

He also used to be a very curious child, to a point that he would often find himself accidentally stealing documents and notes. People would often believe that he would end up becoming a stealth combatant, should he recover well enough from his illnesses.

Similarly, he was always considered a "momma's boy". He loved his biological mom, and she loved him too, and the mom he loves now he loves with just as much passion and sincerity as she does for him. He would do anything for his mom, including delaying a war's end for a proper dinner and rest in front of the TV.

now, as for his childhood, i want you to understand that for a good portion of his own childhood he still had his mother around. his mother's name was auria (mallas) cytos. her maiden name was traded for information that allowed her to become a wizard, and gain control over two different keyblades. his mother was his hero, and she would often compare herself to a pirate "of sorts", leading him to ask his older brothers and sister to read him stories of pirates and privateers and that sort of old time in port royal.

luka adored his mother. she was his light in the times where he was scared that he wouldn't wake up because he was just that sick. she would constantly forsake her duties as a queen and a druid to take care of him, and even when his siblings said that they could help, she would always stay next to him.

despite everything she did to try and protect them, despite making constant bad calls with everything else, auria cytos was a good mother, and even at his young age of anywhere from 5 years old to around the time of her death at 13-14 years old, he was aware of the nuances of "people can be good and make a bad decision". luka had loved her the way a child enamored with magic and might in the same person who happened to be "momma" only could, the way that a child adores their parents and respects them as people.

he was considered very lucky since the moment he was born. you know those stories of babies who are born not breathing and don't breathe for a while but then suddenly they start to cry, as if from an act of god? that was how luka started, and it never stopped. everything he did, everything he said, everything he made, it always seemed to follow a great disaster or catastrophe and result in a great deliverance of some kind. (for this reason, people started to call his presence as an omen, while others said he was an angel. little do they know how angels show up to people in stories.)

as he grew up and became more fixated on pirates and healing so that he would lose no one else after the strangely timed death of his mother - who he loved so dearly that even after she told aryin at six years old the cruelties of the world he sided with her and still called her on her bad decision - he ended up defecting from the royal family lineage of becoming the next in line for the throne, not wanting to end up callous and icy like his father. he ignored his magic for a long time, and leaned heavily into trying to force himself to react to another affinity for magic. turns out, even when healing, people would say his magic felt chilly, cold even, like a glass of iced tea on a summer's day. he stopped fighting his ice affinity then.

then, when he was around 21, well... i'm sure you know where he was found.

#Anonymous #♡. luka.about ⁄ ⁄ an acquired taste for a bleeding heart .#♡. luka.asks ⁄ ⁄ aye aye captain .#long post tw #parental death tw

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crellanstein · 4 years

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Prodigious

I find it odd how the fandom focuses so much on Aang’s childhood being ruined when he learned he was the Avatar at 12, but there’s very little talk about how discovering she was the Avatar as a toddler affected Korra’s life and how she was raised.

But we’ll circle back to that...

Because this is a good starting point to talk about one of the most prevalent themes in the story, which the mainstream discussion of tends to only focus on a few characters -- That is the Child Prodigy.

We’ll start with the two most obvious. The ones we always talk about.

Azula.

The clearest example of your typical child prodigy (if there is anything typical about a prodigy). Azula showed early mastery of very advanced Fire-Bending techniques, and is the only Fire-Bender to use blue flames, which was intended to make her stand out amongst the other villains but is also indicative that her Fire-Bending is more pure and powerful (blue flame is produced when burning pure O2 or fuel without contaminant at a very high temperature).

All this lead to her being praised and favored by Ozai as a child, but as double-edged swords go, this also meant she had a lot of pressure on her shoulders to never fail, and she rarely did. Her ego matched her talent, and let’s be honest she was the baddest bitch the show had ever seen. Conquering Ba Sing Se, defeating the Avatar in combat, and dropping some of the most devastating lines of dialogue in villain history; she was a force nobody wanted to reckon with.

And that become a problem for one asshole in particular...

Being jealous of his own child is just one item on a laundry list of reasons why this guy is the worst father in the history of fathers. Azula had begun to outshine him with her victories, and Ozai’s maniacal ego couldn’t handle that, so he left her behind to babysit the Fire Nation while he went out to burn/conquer the world, which also was her idea.

And while this wasn’t the only thing that aided in her demise, it certainly was the final straw which sent her spiraling down into this...

In the end Azula is a sad example of how certain unfair expectations are placed upon talented children, and the more they succeed, the more these expectations grow and weigh on the them until they either disappoint those looking down on them or surpass and embarrass their elders.

It is a lose-lose situation which inevitably destroys them.

There is a similar example of the child prodigy, but his story goes a little different.

Aang.

Even as a twelve/thirteen year-old boy Aang by far has the most impressive stats among any character in the Avatar universe.

Basically mastering 3 of the 4 Elements in less than a year, after mastering Air by the time he is twelve (not to mention inventing his own Air-bending move, the Air scooter).

Aang is an example of a child prodigy who had too much thrust onto him at too young an age because of the talent he showed; because of this he panicked and ran away, and the world was worse off for it.

Aang/Sokka/Katara’s story is all about how in times of War, responsibilities normally handled by adults are pushed onto kids who then have to grow up very fast in order to deal with it all.

The message is clear. War robs the young of their childhoods.

Now, let’s talk about a different kind of child prodigy.

The Unacknowledged.

Yes, of course I’m talking about Toph, the greatest Earth-Bender to ever live.

Because of her blindness, Toph’s family tried to keep her sheltered and safe by hiding her from the world. Refusing to believe she could ever be more than helpless. Anyone who has seen the show knows that is far from the truth.

But because her potential went unseen, there were some negative effects to her personality. Initially, she resented her parents, and rebelled; which established a certain level of independence, a bad attitude, and a hot-headed streak. Over time spent with the Gaang these behaviors subsided because she finally had friends and they accepted her for who she was. By the end of the series she was fully willing to accept aid from them when she needed it, like holding on to Sokka’s arm in environment where her bending couldn’t help her “see”.

Toph’s story is a foil to Azula’s, both showed immense talent and badassery, but while recognition of Azula lead to ever-mounting pressure for her to succeed; the lack of recognition for Toph created a need for her to be acknowledged and set an undercurrent of frustration which leads to her acting out in the ways she does.

The lesson to take from Toph’s story is not to shelter your kid from the world out of fear for their safety, and to be open to recognizing their talents, not shun them.

Next are two more Unacknowledged.

Katara and Sokka.

Their story, and the reason behind their circumstances, is one of the more complicated and nuanced ones in the series, so here we’ll focus on how it fits into the subject of discussion.

Because of the War, Katara was robbed not only of her mother but also of any Southern Masters to train her, and any role models Sokka could have looked up to left with his father to fight. Because of this Katara’s potential and Sokka’s genius went unacknowledged not due to neglect but rather due to circumstance. (Yes, I think Sokka is a genius, how many 15 yr olds do you know that can plan an invasion, design submarines, and spit poetry off the cuff?).

This is a further example of how War robs kids of necessary childhood experiences, and these two robberies had particular effects on both Katara and Sokka’s character developments.

Sokka had the responsibility of protecting his home put upon him at a young age. The men of his tribe leaving prevented him from completing his rite of manhood until the Gaang ran into Bato of the Water Tribe, and early on Sokka was constantly trying to prove himself as a man and a leader. Sokka is one of the smarter characters of the series, but he rarely got credit for it until the third season. Not to mention that because he wasn’t a bender he often seemed less useful than the others. The circumstances of war made his talent go unnoticed and because of that he often was unsure of himself and overcompensated to prove something.

Speaking of talent going unnoticed.

Katara is definitely one of the more talented benders of the series. After training herself for years with little progress, she essentially mastered Water-Bending in a few weeks under Master Pakku. While her anger towards the Fire-Nation mostly centers around the loss of her mother, it can’t be ignored that the delay in her training was a direct result of the Fire-Nations’ actions. Toph’s anger and frustration vented itself as rebellion. However, the same frustration and anger is within Katara, but because she wasn’t as natural a bender as Toph she sought to learn and be respected, and when that was denied to her is when that anger bubbled to the surface in some terrifying ways.

While Toph’s talent went unnoticed because of her families neglect, Katara and Sokka’s wasn’t acknowledged because there was nobody to acknowledge it. Because of that both brother and sister wanted to prove themselves to the world.

And then there is Zuko.

I know what you’re thinking. Zuko wasn’t a prodigy, his Fire-Bending skill didn’t catch up with Azula’s until the finale and he never mastered Lightning-Bending, but this section is about the Unacknowledged.

Zuko had many other talents besides Fire-Bending, he was a master swordsmen, and was able to successfully break into every secure facility he attempted in the show (which was almost every secure facility the show featured). Unfortunately, these talents were never recognized, because the only thing the royal family cared about was bending ability (It’s possible the reason he learned the sword was because he lacked skill in Fire-Bending).

As per usual with Zuko, this part of his tale is quite sad. Many can relate to being outshined by a sibling, and when it becomes all too clear that one cannot match another’s talent it’s quite understandable to focus on what they do excel at, but even then there is no promise of recognition for their own talent. Zuko was even mocked by his father during the solar eclipse when Ozai tried baiting him into attacking with his swords.

This lack of recognition is one of many sad aspects of Zuko’s early life, but it is a definitive example of one of the hardest unacknowledged prodigy’s cross to bear. The Outshone prodigy, one whose talents are never noticed because a bigger and brighter star stands in the way of such recognition, and arguably the most frustrating type mentioned here. Toph/Sokka/Katara all came from situations were there was no recognition being given to them or anyone, but Zuko had to bear watching massive amounts of praise be piled on to his sister while he and his accomplishments went by the way side.

Ozai summed up the situation best.

“Azula was born lucky, Zuko was lucky to be born”

Alright now where have I been going with all this?

So, far we’ve covered a lot of wrong ways to treat a child, whether they show talent or not, and how the circumstances of war can also take many things from children.

But what happened to Korra?

(Before we get into to this I should state that I like Korra, and the purpose of this is not to bash her as a character or her arc, but rather to give a little of my insight into it.)

It’s well established that Aang was told of his heritage too young, and that was a detriment on his development into an adult, but what would have happened if he realized his powers himself not long after he could walk? We’ll never know, but we do get to see the effects it had on Korra.

When she revealed herself as the Avatar, Korra set her entire life in a new direction, and because Aang tasked the White Lotus with finding and training her that direction was out of her control. There are two key differences between Korras’ and other Avatars’ lives.

1. She grew up in isolation on a White Lotus compound.

Every Avatar before Korra we know of spent a portion of their early lives traveling the world in order to master the elements; along this journey they not only learned how to bend the other 3 elements, buy also many things about the 3 other nations and the world they are tasked to protect as a whole. By confining Korra in safety and bringing the masters to her the White Lotus deprived Korra of this opportunity to learn and grow and understand the world and the people within in. It also deprived her of learning modern bending styles until she reached Republic City.

While this might have kept Korra safe from the Red Lotus, it grew within her a naiveté about how the world worked, and because of this when she actually did venture out into the world she was terribly unprepared for it.

2. She was trained and mastered 3 of the elements by the time she was 16.

Most Avatars don’t know they have this power until they reach 16 and then they spend several years learning to control it. Korra’s natural talent in the bending lead to her training being expedited not by necessity like Aang’s, but due to her talent and eagerness. Korra excelled at the physical part of being the Avatar and because of this by the time she reached maturity she had become over-confident in her abilities and true to what her Fire-Bending master said in Ep.1 she lacked restraint.

I’m not saying her bending isn’t great, but rather because it is so great it’s her go-to solution to anything, and she enjoys that so she uses it with enthusiastic gusto and not a lot of thinking before striking.

This overconfidence coupled with her naiveté of the world is what lead to many of her rash decisions and actions, most of which had negative consequences, and I believe are the reason behind some fan are dissatisfied with her. Aang had been almost the complete opposite, even by the age of twelve he was an experienced world traveler and an incredibly humble guy.

Some may have been dissatisfied by these character decisions, but they served a purpose, they are only the beginning of her arc. The internal challenge Korra must overcome through 4 seasons is to humble herself before the world, and learn from it. This was finally achieved in the 4th season when the metal poisoning in her body forces her to face others in the world as equals, only then had she completed her journey.

And why did it all go this way?

Because she is a very unique child prodigy, what she demonstrates in the first episode of LOK would be akin to a toddler playing the violin or hitting a three-pointer; she could bend 3 elements close to just after learning to walk. That is the kind of prodigious talent rarely seen because it is mostly impossible. How does a rational person handle a child like that?

It’s a tough question, and something this essay has been circling around the whole time. Each example here is the wrong way to handle talented and different children, but what is the right way?

As always look to Iroh.

Who treated his surrogate son Zuko with both respect and compassion.

Unlike Toph’s parents, Iroh worried over Zuko’s well being, but also allowed him to be independent, make his own decisions, and take his own risks.

Unlike the Nomad Leaders, he didn’t want Zuko weighed down by his position in the world and the responsibility that came with, and always encouraged him relax and take advantage of the moment.

Unlike Ozai, Iroh would always be there to support Zuko in his victories and his failures. Iroh shows him the right path but does not force him down it.

And even after Zuko betrayed and abandoned him.

Iroh was never angry with him, and embraced him upon his return.

He wanted Zuko to grow and be a better man. Even if Zuko wasn’t a prodigy like his sister.

And that is the answer here. The way to raise a prodigy is the same way anyone should raise any child. Love, Support, a Guiding Hand rather than a Forceful Shove, Recognition of What Makes Them Unique, and Forgiveness When They Falter. The problem comes along when you start treating children differently because you see them as different or special. All children are different, all children are special.

Kids are kids, and they all deserve a proper childhood.

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christowhore · 3 years

Text

Redeeming Myself

pairing: chris evans x professor!fem!reader

summary: after breaking your heart and losing your trust, chris makes it his mission to prove to you how much you mean to him.

word count: 6.3k

warnings: age gap (reader is 29, chris is 40), angst, reminiscing on past actions, fluff, talks with therapist, chris makes up for bad behavior, slight alcohol consumption, smut, happy endings, rpf !!! 18+ MINORS DNI !!!

notes: the final installment of Pining for Professor. it was only supposed to be a one shot, but i got inspired and expanded it. it took a while cause writers block, but it’s here. for anyone who has read the series, thank you and hope you enjoy ! 💓🥰

i do not allow the reposting, rewriting or translating of my fics. these are works of my own and i do not give permission for any of the acts stated above.

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SERIES MASTERLIST • MAIN MASTERLIST

For a month and a half following that afternoon, Chris began to go above and beyond to mend his mistakes in an effort to regain your trust.

He knew that he shouldn’t have been forgiven for the hurtful words he hurled at you, the voice he raised, and his cold demeanor through it all. But you forgave him nonetheless, which he was eternally grateful for.

Chris suspected that his venom-laced words still took a toll on your overall being. He sensed it in the way your usual humming was kept to a minimum, as did your soft caresses to his body. The fun facts that you would randomly blurt out had basically become nonexistent.

You hadn’t tried initiating sex with Chris due to still being affected by his actions, which was understandable to the brunette.

He could tell you were being cautious around him, which broke his heart more than he could’ve imagined.

The two of you never really talked in depth about what happened, deciding to push it under the rug and move past it. But ignoring the elephant in the room could only last for so long.

That morning was no different. He had spent the night at your place and decided to wake up and make you breakfast in an effort to mend the faltering relationship.

You woke up to an empty bed, something that you were used to since Chris had always been an early riser. Getting your morning routine out the way, you made your descent downstairs with the smell of pesto guiding you down the steps.

Walking into the kitchen, you saw the sight of your topless boyfriend, donning only a pair of boxers and an apron. You watched as he studiously focused on the skillet in front of him. His intense focus and the sounds of eggs frying in the pan made him oblivious to your arrival.

It wasn’t until you made your way towards the fridge next to him, that he registered your presence. “Morning princess, you sleep well.”

“Yeah, I slept fine,” your voice still a bit gravely from your slumber. You poured yourself a glass of orange juice, ignoring the intense gaze from Chris in your peripheral vision.

He was so used to having you touch him in the mornings. Not so much in a sexual way, but more intimately. The way your lips would ghost against his shoulder blade, your palms would hold his sides and pull him against you so that way you could bask in his warmth. Your arms would wrap around his front until your fingers absentmindedly toyed with his lower abdomen, playing with the wisps of hair on his happy trail.

He missed when you would move your lips until they met the space behind his ears, giving light open mouth kisses. The sound of you whispering ‘Morning daddy’ would leave him awestruck. Even though the words were a regular occurrence for him to hear, it was the way you would say it in your morning voice that made it ten times more special.

Though those actions might seem minuscule to others, they meant the world to him and it was killing him that he hadn’t been able to experience such tender moments with you in a while.

“I’m making breakfast- pesto eggs and some bacon for you. It’ll be done in a minute.”

You nodded along before heading to the table, phone in hand while catching up on your morning news.

It didn’t take long before a steaming plate was placed in front of you, the scent of garlic and basil already making you salivate.

Chris sat besides you and watched as you dug a fork into your meal, a smile reaching his face as he heard your content moans.

The two of you ate in silence, only the sound of soft chewing and utensils hitting your respective plates could be heard.

Every so often, you would feel Chris peek at you, hoping for you to start up a conversation with him like you always did. It’s not like you didn’t want to, it was just that you were still hurting due to his words. You know from a psychological standpoint that there was something going on inside of him that caused him to lash out, which you understood. But it didn’t aid in diminishing your apprehensiveness towards opening up to him, afraid that another fight would break out and hurtful words would again be hurled.

He could sense the internal struggle battling within you so he spoke up, breaking you out from your subconscious.

“I know I’ve been saying this repeatedly over the past few weeks, but I want you to know how sorry I am,” Chris sympathetically stated, “You didn’t deserve what I put you through, the things I said. I just hope that we're able to someday go back to how we were.”

You sat there staring at the man in front of you. Was there a way that the two of you can revert to what once was? Could you actually forgive him?

Not knowing how to properly respond, you simply nodded. A tight lipped smile was evidence that Chris had a lot of making up to do.

Finishing up breakfast, you excused yourself to your office to go and work on your dissertation, leaving the brunette alone with his thoughts.

He knew that he needed to do something big to make up for his actions. He also knew that he needed to figure out why he lashed out on you.

Taking out his phone, he clicked on a saved contact and listened to the dial tone ring in his ear.

“Morning, I’d like to make an appointment as soon as possible. It’s an emergency.”

Chris sat on the plush maroon couch, his eyes getting reacquainted with the familiar setting. The office had a few knick knacks littered around the space. A potted plant here and there. Motivational, yet cheesy posters on the wall. An assortment of magazines on the coffee table.

He hadn’t been here in a while, his usual talks were about his anxiety and dealing with fame. But for this appointment it was about you- specifically how he treated you.

The new topic was foreign to him, resulting in the brunette not knowing how to address it. So he silently sat there as his therapist, Dr. Reynolds, held her pen in her hand and studied his behavior.

“So,” she cautiously started, “What brings you in today?”

Chris sat there twiddling his fingers at her question. There could’ve been a few reasons that brought him in, but the main one was why he said the things he hurled at you.

He proceeded to spend the next 10 minutes recapping the events that had transpired, making sure to not spare any detail. After his spiel, Dr. Reynolds skimmed through her notes that she jotted down during his explanation.

Looking up from her notebook, she locked eyes with the brunette. “Do you think that some of your actions correlate with self-sabotaging behaviors? How, when you opened yourself up to her so suddenly it made you feel scared? Scared that you might need to face those fears that are plaguing you.”

Chris sat there incredulously, “Well- I mean no. I don’t think so.”

The pair talked for over an hour, going over the usual allotted time as they broke down why Chris had acted a certain way.

He realized the anger he felt was a coping mechanism to avoid feeling what he truly felt: fear. Mainly his fear of commitment. Part of him was scared that any future marriage would end up like his parents, in divorce. He feared that you would stop loving him. He feared that he would stop loving you.

And that fear was ultimately pushing you away from him. Which uncovered the biggest fear of all, losing you.

Dr. Reynolds eventually received a knock on her door, indicating a waiting patient, causing their therapy session to be cut and saved for another day.

“Thanks doc, I think I know what I need to do now.”

After some much needed self-reflection made in the meeting with his therapist, Chris knew what he had to do. Leaving the office, he pulled out his phone and dialed his publicist, Megyn.

A few rings later, he went into detail to the blonde about his plan. Not caring about what the press might say, or how his fans might react, he needed to get it done.

She wasn’t too keen on dealing with the impending press that would come from it, but she was happy that he was able to find someone that he truly loved.

He went back to your place that evening with a refreshed mind. The rest of the day went by as usual, you both did your own respective things, the tension still heavy in the air.

As you both started on your own night routine, his main focus was on you. He didn’t even know he stopped brushing and was staring until you snapped your fingers in front of his eyes.

“Earth to Chris, everything alright?” your tone was light and airy, hinted with a bit of joy.

Chris looked at the slight smile on your face and was reminded all over again as to why he fell for you. That smile was something that was so ingrained in his mind that not even old age could make him forget it. It warmed his entire being whenever he was sad and it made him realize he could never take it off your face for the rest of his days.

“Yeah princess,” he whispered, still lost in you, “I’m alright.”

You nodded along to him, though your eyes squinted a bit due to being curious of his change in demeanor. Before he was overly cautious around you, now it seemed as if he couldn’t get enough of you.

Before you could set your toothbrush down and set out for bed, he stopped you with a hand on your elbow, pulling you into him. Not caring that there were still dribbles of toothpaste in his mouth, he leant down and attached his lips to yours.

The kiss was soft, he was desperate to feel your softness against him though wasn’t trying to rush the act in any way. Moving his hand up, he held onto your cheek in an effort to pull you even closer than you already are.

The smell of your lavender night cream instantly calmed him, making him feel safe in your embrace and absentmindedly smiling into the kiss.

Chris finally pulled away, only slightly, to look down on you with a dopey grin. “God I’m in love with you.”

For the first time in weeks, a genuine smile reached your face to match the man across from you.

“I love you too love bug,” you sighed against his lips, “You probably should’ve rinsed your mouth though, I can taste your toothpaste.”

A deep chuckle rumbled from his chest, “Sorry, just got caught up in the moment.”

Chris kept you secured in his arms as he continued to stare down at you. There was something different about him, specifically the way his gaze was directed at you. Though you were not complaining.

“How about we bring back date night? I can cook and we can finally sit and talk to one another like we used to.”

Your heart fluttered in your chest at his pleas. It had been a while since you two sat down and basked in each other’s presence. The thought had you hopeful that things could go back to normal.

“I would love that,” you began, “How about Friday? I have a test for a few of my classes this week so we can do it once I’m all free.”

Chris smiled down at you with eyes evident of his admiration for you, “Friday is perfect.”

The rest of the week went on rather differently than previous ones. Your touches came back to his body, fingertips grazing alongside him whenever he was close. Chris would regularly kiss your cheek or top of your shoulder anytime he had the chance.

You did take notice of him on his phone a lot, part of it filled you with uneasiness but the rational part of your brain told you it wasn’t something to ponder too much over, so you let it go.

Chris had been spending the entire week making sure that his plan was rolling smoothly. He had the entire date night planned to a T. He informed his family about it, who were ecstatic for him, making his own mother tear up due to how happy she was. He made sure to have everything ready at the house so that everything would be successful.

The day of the planned affair, you were stuck in your home office grading the last set of tests before being able to officially clock out for the evening. Inputting the grades into Blackboard, you were brought out of focus due to the sounds of buzzing from your phone. Picking up the device, you unlocked it and saw the incoming text from your boyfriend.

Chris: Baby, I know you’re still probably finishing up, but dinner will be ready at my place at around 7. I put something on your bed for you to wear. See you soon!

The endearing message made you smile and also feel a bit elated. You missed the intimate moments shared between you and Chris. The loving looks sent your way, the delicious food and engaging conversations. But most importantly, you missed the sex. Before, the two of you were like jackrabbits, the longest you both went without getting hot and heavy was about 2 days. Now going on over two months, you were becoming insatiable.

Quickly inputting the final test scores in your online grade book, you got ready for your night in with Chris. Heading up the stairs, you walked into your room to be hit with a bit of nostalgia. Laying on the bed was the same black dress that you wore on your first date with him.

With the amount of dresses you had in your wardrobe, it was a shock that he was able to find the specific one you wore that night. The sentiment warmed your heart and filled you with hope.

Rushing to get ready, you went and got dressed, making sure that you appeared your best before heading out.

It was only a quick drive to his home, before you were sat in his driveway.

Your mind was plagued with worry. You feared that if this night didn’t go well, then it would ultimately mean the end of your relationship with the man. Taking in a deep breath, you calmed your nerves before exiting the vehicle and made the trek towards his front door.

Using the house key you still had attached to your own ring set, you unlocked the door and walked in though you didn’t get far when the sight before you made you stop and gasp.

Starting from the front door laid a trail of rose petals leading you through the house. The thoughtful effort made tears begin to form in your eyes and your breath unsteady.

Following the trail, the same smells of vegetables sautéing brought you back to that time over a year ago.

Once you made it inside the kitchen, you saw Chris with an apron adorning his massive frame on top of his suit. Once he took notice of your arrival he turned around and smiled at you. “There you are sweetheart. I was waiting for you to show.”

He turned down the fire before gliding towards you, about to reach down and kiss you when you beat him to it.

Grabbing a hold of either side of his face, you slammed your lips to his; the action surprising you both. You delivered him repeated pecks which caused the brunette to laugh between every one of your kisses.

Getting enough of your intimate fill, you pulled away from him and looked up. “What’s the special occasion? I mean I know it’s date night, but still.”

Chris brought his hands down to rest on the dip of your back before pulling you in closer to him. The action caused your neck to crane up to look directly into his eyes.

“I wanted to make things right with my best girl.”

You playfully rolled your eyes at the slight Captain America reference before delivering another kiss, “Thank you, I love it.”

The meal went according to plan, the two of you enjoying the same shrimp scampi dish he made on your first date together.

You were sipping on your glass of wine when you heard Chris speak up.

“Though I’ve said it more times than either of us can count, I need you to know how regretful I am of how I acted.”

You sighed at his words, “Chris, I said it’s-”

“No, it’s not okay (Y/N),” he interrupted you, “It wasn’t okay for me to lash out at you. It wasn’t okay for me to hurt your feelings.”

“Tonight, I tried to recreate our first date together to show you just how much you mean to me.”

Chris had rehearsed what he was planning on saying for the past few days, but here now in this moment he couldn’t remember a single prepared line. So he just decided to follow his heart.

“(Y/N). The day I met you, it was one of the greatest days of my life. It wasn’t supposed to happen, but fate brought us together- well I guess I should say Ma did with her insisting.”

His words caused you to chuckle, “I can see where you got your determination. She really didn’t quit until she finally got us in the same room.”

The memory of Lisa bringing you two together that afternoon warmed both of your hearts.

“That day we met was the day I knew that there was no one else in the world that would matter to me as much as you would. Every single day that I get the pleasure of seeing that look on your face will forever make me the luckiest man on the Earth. So when I hurled those words at you and took that smile away, it made me feel horrendous.”

You didn’t even realize you had started crying until you felt the warmth of your tears sliding down your cheeks.

Chris reached across the table and curled his fingers around your hand, slightly stroking the back of it with his thumb.

“I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend that I could be. I realized that my own fears of commitment caused me to take out my frustrations out on you, and absentmindedly pushed you away. But I realized that pushing you away was the last thing I ever wanted to happen.”

He felt his heart rate race and his organ beat heavily in his chest, his anxiety slowly rising.

“You are the greatest thing to happen to me. You make the worst days seem minuscule whenever you’re around. I love the way you’re able to always help push me through any obstacle I face, no matter how big or small it may be. The way you easily get along with my crazy family. And I love how you make me feel like I am floating on cloud nine anytime I kiss you.”

Chris felt his hands begin to sweat. One of his hands clasped onto yours, while the other held onto the small box in his left pocket of his slacks.

“A few days ago I had a session with my therapist about you. And during it I realized how much I care about you, and how losing you, even though it was brief, was the worst thing I had ever experienced.”

Slowly standing up on shaky legs, he brought you up with him.

“I had to secretly figure out the right size while you were sleeping the other night,” he began to joke, “You don’t know how hard it was to get the measurement done considering how light of a sleeper you are.”

You felt your heart pound in your chest. You suspected that something was different about his behavior and this evening, and your suspicions were slowly coming to light.

“I can’t ever experience the feeling of not having you by my side again. Waking up to a cold bed and not seeing the way your nose would sometimes crunch up while you're deep in a dream is something I never want to go through again.”

Chris reached into his pocket of his pants and pulled out a cherry red box. The sight of the gold inscription labeling 'Cartier' made your breath catch in your throat and tears fall freely down your face.

The height difference was changed when he steadily dropped down on his left knee, his tear filled blue eyes looking up at you.

“(Y/N), you make me the happiest man in the world. And I know it’s a stereotypical line for me to say, but it’s true. I love how you’re able to bring the best out of me and everyone around you. I love how you love everyone unconditionally. God, I love how fucking breathtaking you are. I am in love with everything about you.”

Letting go of your hand, he held the box in his grasp before cracking it open. The action caused your hands to cover your mouth and you to bend at the knees. With the aid of the lights around the room, it unveiled to you a marquise cut diamond. One either side were two stones. On the left was a pearl, indicating his June birthstone. The other side showed your gemstone, the rocks pairing perfectly with one another.

“So,” Chris began with a shaky breath, “(Y/N) (Y/L/N), will you do me the honor and make me the luckiest person in the world. Will you marry me?”

Your body shook with sobs as you nodded along to his question.

“Wait, are you saying yes?” Chris asked, excitement evident in his tone. “I don’t know if that’s you nodding yes or no.”

Removing your hands from your face you grasped on to your now fiancé’s, “Yes, I would love to marry you.”

Chris didn’t even get the chance to put the ring on you before raising up and slamming his lips against yours. Both of you tasting the salty tears that expelled from the other.

It was his turn to lay a continuous stream of kisses to your lips. Soft chants of ‘thank you’ leaving his mouth between every one.

Pulling away, he retrieved the ring from its box as you held up your left hand. You watched as he slid the band down your finger until it situated perfectly against the base. A content sigh left the both of you.

Chris brought your hand up and kissed the back of it and then your ring finger before locking eyes with you.

You two stayed like that for a while, your gaze flicking back and forth between each other’s lips until finally you two connected them.

This time, the embrace was intimate, more passion filled. Your hands folded against the nape of his neck, the coolness of the gold band making him smile with contentment.

With his hands holding onto your hips, he guided you back until you were met with resistance from the wall behind you; the sudden force causing you to lightly grunt into his mouth.

Lowering his hands until his palms rested on the back of your thighs, he tapped on your skin, an unspoken request for you to jump. While securing your hold on his neck, you jumped up and rested in his palms. With you in his hands, Chris began to walk the two of you towards his bedroom. Since Dodger was staying at his mom's house, he didn’t bother closing the door, not worrying about any sudden intrusion.

Your mouth was still attached to Chris when he laid you down, you head against the soft pillow on the plush bed. His frame towering over you as he shook off the suit jacket from his body, kicked off his shoes and toed his socks away.

“I love you so much (Y/N),” he swooned through kisses.

“I love you too Chris.”

Untying the front of your wrap dress, the silk material fell to the sides of your body, revealing your figure which was only covered by a thin, lace pair of underwear. The sight of your half naked self made him growl down at you in desire.

Removing his lips from yours, he descended down your body, leaving kisses in his wake.

“You’re all mine.”

His lips kissed around your taut nipple, his tongue poking out to flick at your pert bud.

“Forever and always.”

You felt him leaving traces of wetness from open-mouth kisses on your abdomen.

“The love of my life.”

His fingers dug into the sides of your thong before dragging it down your legs.

“My beautiful fiancé.”

You breathing hitched as you felt his warm breath fan across your exposed cunt. The hot air was a stark contrast to the cool slick of your dripping wetness.

“The future Mrs. Evans.”

And with that, Chris flattened out his tongue before running a long stripe up your pussy, lapping up your wetness until he curled it around your clit. “Oh fuck, Chris.”

How exhausting the sexual hiatus that you experienced with the brunette was evident due to how you were squirming on the bed. Your hands spread throughout the sheets, gripping and tugging in an effort to gain some form of steadiness. Over two months without having him on you had you mewling into the air. “Please baby, don’t stop.”

With his tongue occupied, Chris continued to devour you. His tongue alternated between long drags and quick flicks between your folds. You felt the tip of his tongue prod at your opening in a desperate attempt to taste more of you- to feel more of you.

Removing his mouth, he heard you begin to groan in disappointment before it turned into a moan when he spat on your cunt then suctioned his lips around your clit. With one hand holding your stomach down, he used the other to enter your soaking hole with his index and middle fingers.

Chris was gentle with his digits inside of you, dragging his pads alongside your ways, stroking your contracting walls and feeling every ridge. Once he was knuckle deep, he scissored your cunt, basking in the sounds of your squelching around his fingers paired with your content moans of relief.

He replaced his mouth with his thumb, using the limb to draw slow, tortuous circles on your mound as he watched you fall into the deep recesses of ecstasy.

He observed your neck stretch back, exposing a slightly bulging vein running up the expanse. The way your lips quivered as your moans flew freely out. Your legs began to shake when he hit the spot he was all too familiar with deep in your core.

“Look at me,” Chris demanded, his Boston accent evident in his request, “Need’a watch my pretty girl cum all over my fingers.”

The eye contact with the brunette was intense, more fierce than ever experienced before, but you reveled in every second of it. You noticed how his pupils had become blown out, only showing a small ring of blue surrounding the black.

You tried to keep the gaze locked until you felt your orgasm come full force through your body like a tidal wave. “Christopher!”

Upon hearing your screech of desire and feeling your essence begin to soak his digits, he replaced his thumb back with his mouth, longing to taste every single drop of your sweetness. His fingers continued to pump inside of you, prolonging your release and causing more of your juices to flow into and around his mouth.

Chris finally removed his fingers to drink more of you until you attempted to feebly push his head away, the orgasm causing you to lose most of your strength.

“Sorry princess, you know Daddy just can't get enough of you,” Chris moaned as he licked your essence off his lips.

He rose up your lower half and hovered over you staring down at your exhausted self. You mustered the power to raise your arms and grasp his face in your hands before bringing him down to connect lips once more.

The kisses were lecherous, the both of you yearning to taste every single part of the other. Your tongue was firm against his as he massaged yours while you swallowed each other's moans.

Your body felt on fire with the way his large hands were massaging and caressing every inch of your exposed skin. His fingers digging into your softness and pulling you flush against his frame.

Taking your hands away from his face, you began to unbutton his dress shirt, peeling away the material until it unveiled his tattooed chest. Your fingers tracing the large design on his chest before making its way down to his belt, unbuckling it in the process.

Dragging the leather through the loops and away from his body, you unzipped his trousers before reaching in to palm his obvious erection. The action made the man above you keen against your tongue. “I wanna taste you Chris.”

With your thighs around his hips, you nudged him until your positions were switched. His head against the same pillow, he watched as you tugged down the material on his lower half, leaving the two of you completely bare for one another.

You laid down on your stomach between his legs before grabbing hold onto the base of his cock, drawing a hiss from Chris.

His head craned back at the feel of your wet mouth tonguing his length, the wet muscle licking a stripe from the base to his tip. “Ohh- that's it baby.”

You collected your spit before it dripped from your mouth and on his head, the liquid cascading down the massive length. Using it for your advantage, you began to stroke him while attaching your lips around his tip. Your tongue flicked his slit while drinking up his precum.

“God, I love you so much (Y/N).”

Removing one of your hands, you began to swallow his length, stroking off what you couldn’t take down. His moans and groans only stir you on as you bask in the feel of him throbbing in your mouth. With your free hand, you began to palm at his balls; the action making him grip the sheets as well as tenderly holding the side of your head.

His mouth was parted, showing only his tongue, as he panted out. “That’s it baby, such a good girl for me.”

Chris felt his peak slowly approaching, the buildup steadily growing with every swipe of your tongue, suction from your lips and tug at his balls. Though he would’ve loved to release down your throat and watch your mouth milk his balls, he wanted- needed to feel your warmth surrounding him as he coated your walls.

He went to unlatch you from his cock and raise you towards him. “I need to feel you,” he breathed out, “I miss the feel of you around me (Y/N).”

You crawled up his body til you were straddling his hips. Reaching down, you pumped his length a few times before positioning it for entry. The second you began the descent and his head met the resistance from your cunt, you both groaned out.

Chris couldn’t wait any longer so he brought his hands to your hips and fully sank you down on him, sheathing his entire cock inside of you. The action made you lurch forward with your hands planting themselves on his chest in search of stability.

“Oh that’s it princess,” professed Chris, “Missed this tight fucking cunt choking my cock. Missed you so goddamn much.”

With the help of his hands on your hips, you began to slowly work yourself on his dick. Every rise and fall of your hips made you experience the delectable feel of his veined shaft drag against your channel.

“Oh Christopher,” you cooed as you felt him throb inside of you.

“That’s it princess, I’m right here.”

You brought your hands from off of him and covered his large ones. Removing them from your body, you intertwined digits. The new position of your hands allowed the newly added engagement ring to gleam under the light.

If he had a camera, he would’ve wanted to capture the beauty of you in that moment. Every buck of your hips caused your breasts to bounce, the action enticing him even more than already. The sweat that began to form on your body caused your body to shine from the bedroom lights, making your body appear as if it were glowing.

He wanted to frame the glorious sight of you, but he decided to settle with the fact of knowing he would be able to recreate this exact moment for the rest of his life. Recreate with you as husband and wife.

He rose up from the mattress and maneuvered your legs to wrap around his waist before sitting on his haunches. The new position of your naked chest pressed up against his own while he fucked you on his cock was a sort of intimacy that couldn’t be explained.

The closeness of your faces allowed you to feel each other’s breaths warm your features. You could see pupils being blown, feel the sweat dripping off one another, and hear every single sound that escaped the other's mouth.

Attaching his lips to yours, Chris moaned into your mouth. “That’s it baby, cream all around my cock. Milk me til I fill you up with my cum.”

The heels of your feet dug into his lower back and your fingertips gripped onto his neck, leaving scratches in its wake.

You knew for certain that you would have bruises on your waist with the way he had latched onto you, raising you up and down his length.

With every thrust, your sweaty skin slapped together as his balls spanked up against your ass.

“Ahh baby, I- fuck Chris I’m almost there.”

“I know (Y/N), I’m right behind you.”

A few more harsh thrusts as his tip slammed against your g-spot and you were suddenly slammed into the blissful abyss of your orgasm. The tightness of your contracting walls caused Chris to achieve his own release. The shouting sounds of you two reaching your respective peaks echoed throughout the room.

Warmth flooded your body and your cunt as you felt Chris’s cock shoot ribbons of his seed deep into you. He continued to drag you along his length, hoping to prolong the glorious feeling of your pussy throbbing around him.

After the sensation of your peak began to wane, he fell back against the mattress, bringing you down with him.

The two of you laid there in each other’s arms, basking in the warmth radiating off the other.

Chris strokes your back, long traces of his thumb running along your spine as you both regain your breath.

“I’m in love with you (Y/N). So goddamn much.”

Still a little too spent, you nodded while your hands toyed around with his chest.

While you two sat there, a realization popped into the brunette's head, making him begin to stand up. “I’ll be right back.”

You watched his ass jiggle with every step out of the room, the sight making you chuckle. When he returned, he held his phone in his hand.

“Seriously Christopher, you wanna make a sex tape right now?”

A boisterous laughter left him at your assumption, “No sweetheart, not that.”

Chris sat back next to you on the bed as he scrolled through his phone gallery. After a few flicks on his thumb, he finally found the photo that you two took on your first date. You were as beautiful as ever, smiling at the camera as he looked in awe at you.

You watched as he loaded up Instagram and clicked on the plus sign to create a new post. “Chris, what are you doing?”

“Something I should’ve done a long time ago.”

Choosing the desired photo, he went to begin typing out his caption that would unveil you to the world.

chrisevans: A little over a year ago this photo was taken on our first date. I knew from that moment that I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life, that’s why I eagerly asked you to be mine. (Y/N) you make me the happiest man that I could be. I know this past year and a half has been a tough one, especially with everyone in the world claiming that they were dating me while I kept you in the shadows, but enough is enough. There’s no one else that I would rather be with. There’s no one in this entire world that holds a candle to you. To your beauty, your kindness, your everything. You are the love of my life. As of tonight, my fiancé. And soon to be my wife. I love you more than words can describe princess. (Y/@/N)

Chris finished typing out his message before looking down at you, silently asking for approval. He watched as your index finger raised up and clicked on the share button, indicating the end of your secrecy.

A dopey smile made his face before he looked at you, phone in hand, “Now, about that sex tape.”

You laughed at his joke as he made his way to kiss you once more. The embrace was full of contentment due to knowing that things were back to normal with a growing relationship full of unwavering love, reinstated trust, and pure happiness.

A/N: and that's a wrap folks. thank you to everyone who read this series.

also i would like to say that this is in no way an indication of chris evans personality or character. this is just fiction.

if you enjoyed this, please make sure to reblog and comment. feedback is much appreciated !

* divider credits : @firefly-graphics *

#chris evans #chris evans series #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans smut #chris evans one shot #chris evans fluff #chris evans x fem!reader #chris evans rpf #chris evans x reader #chris evans angst #chris evans fic #steve rogers smut #andy barber smut #ransom drysdale smut #pining for professor

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mariamariquinha · 2 years

Text

Meetings and Greetings (Jonathan Levy x f!reader) - Part 1

Part 2

Summary: You and Jonathan met because of Tulsidas.

Word count: 2.897.

Warnings: Mentions about divorce, bad words, maybe a few academic terms, consumption of legal drugs and talks about Jainism/Bhudism. There’s nothing to worry about here, I guess, but don’t expect Jonathan to be... I don’t know. It can have a pinch of angst.

Author’s Note: This is very self indulgent because being a college teacher is literally my career. Yeah. Anyway. I did a personal research about Tulsidas and Jainism, so I’M TRULY SORRY if any of my considerations here are wrong on some level, that's why I even mentioned it superficially so as not to talk nonsense.

Ah, this will have a second part. When? Well... It will happen. Don’t worry.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Join my taglist! Don’t forget to reblog, comment and like! As always, I would love to know what you’re all thinking! ❤

****

You always knew Jonathan, but you’d never met him.

He would share a ‘hi’ or ‘good morning’ while entering the teacher’s room, like a salute to everyone and no one in general, or a small ‘excuse me’ to find a seat, and leave with nothing but a hot cup of coffee in hand. Of course that didn't stop you from noticing him; after all, you two worked in the same department and he made good use of his reputation as a professor. You respected him, just like you respected all the others.

His divorce happened during your first year at the university; this information came as a gossip, a big occurrence there, but you tried to skip whatever speculation people would have to focus on this simple detail. You knew he was married, could even pinpoint that you saw her once or twice during small parties. Whatever happened, though, Jonathan looked tired, walking around the building with an even quieter demeanor, affecting his own performance with students, who began to complain.

“Jonathan, we know things have been complicated for you recently, but you’re one of my best guys here, okay? I need to be sure you’ll be able to keep going or…”

This information came by accident, one that you could avoid but ended up paralyzing you in the hallway, one hand on the wall and the other on the books you were carrying. Your supervisor’ voice was condescendent, like gentle parenting a child – given the sigh you’d heard from Jonathan, probably, he was also well aware of that.

If the talk had any effect on the man, you just knew that he decided to reduce his classes for a time, passing some of them to other colleagues while getting his shit together. Whatever happened in the meantime stayed a mystery even for the nosy ones. In months, Jonathan Levy turned into a ghost, allowing only small snippets of his appearances in hallways or meetings.

****

It was August. A new semester, new faces, and you’re already used to the experience of leading a full class then. You would start with special grades for Religion & Culture Studies, an offshoot of your research work for quite some time, and the idea of settling down on this field was starting to get in your good graces.

That morning, you had forty or fifty students under your supervision for their introductory explanations of Jainism. You didn’t notice when someone came in through the side door of the room, although you could see a few students looking in that direction before turning their attention to you again.

“For a very long time, Western researchers saw Jainism as a sect of Hinduism or a heresy of Buddhism, which isn't true considering…” Your voice faltered for a moment as you glanced toward the door, finding a serious, attentive Jonathan Levy standing there, clutching the bag strap slung over his shoulder. “... considering specific differences in their creation, reasoning and form of manifestation, despite sharing common elements.”

And he stayed there, silent, listening carefully just like the other students, not even daring to move from his spot. You talked, talked, talked, not losing your focus again for the sake of the class.

“Jiva Jago… It’s a song, right?”

You gave him a small smile, gathering your things nonchalantly and not quite looking back. It was just the two of you, the remaining students were already heading towards the exit while he remained closer, making himself heard without raising his voice too much.

“From the Gitavali book, yes,” Gesturing at one of the books on the top of your desk, you could see him maneuvering the book to see the cover. “Do your students study Tulsidas?”

“Eventually,” The answer made you frown, which he noticed and rushed to explain, the book now forgotten. “Sanskrit ends up being more specific, not really my area. But in religious contexts it's worth the discussion.”

“Mm, you’re right. That's for the boring teachers.”

“You think?” He was grinning at your teasing, but you just shrugged.

“I think that by the end of the semester I will have ten very determined students here.”

“What about the others?”

“Studying with cool teachers.”

You stopped hearing about Jonathan for a very long time. No one found any funny or interest in talking about his personal life anymore, nor on the way he would show such a miserable appearance around the university. He got divorced, this you knew, and with time he got back to his old days of talking excitedly with the students and being on the level of praise from your supervisor.

As always, you watched him from a distance. Read his new articles, accompanied the interviews he would give to the university newspaper, heard a joke that he told someone and that someone told you. Him being in your class and talking to you was new, especially with the full smile he gave you.

“I've been reading your work lately, you know,” He said and you raised your eyebrows at the comment.

“Really?”

“Yeah, well, people like you more than you think around here. After hearing so many good things, I decided to see it for myself.”

“I appreciate your consideration. Do you have any conclusions?” You crossed your arms over your chest, seeing him shrug and repeat the motion.

“None that would do justice to your work,” A pause. “I just… It came to my mind that we never met. At least not properly since you started here.”

“Oh no, Professor Levy, it's totally understandable. I would never take that as a personal offense.”

“It's kind of you, but I insist on apologizing. The last year has been a little rough for me and I feel I was quite impolite.”

Oh. Well, it wasn’t a thing you’re expecting, but good to know he thought about it in the middle of so many problems happening in his life.

“... Okay then. Apologies accepted.”

“Good. Very good, in fact,” He extended his hand at you, offering a handshake that you gave. “See you around, Professor. Keep going with… Sanskrits.”

“And you keep going at being the cool teacher.”

Did the handshake take a little longer than expected? Did he smile at you for a moment longer before walking away and leaving? You couldn't say, you couldn't even fool yourself into thinking you wouldn't do the same thing (and maybe you did). Jonathan was an intelligent, handsome guy… It wasn't that hard to feel warmed by the attention.

You watched him leave the room and found yourself smiling into space for a while, which made you hesitate.

Don’t be ridiculous.

****

Getting to know Jonathan was more than a fluke. He seemed as committed as you were to creating some friendly bond, and it took a while for you to stop associating your approach with any possible guilt about what you’d heard about him back then. Now and then, when time allowed, he would stop by one of your classes – sometimes until the end, other times for some minutes. It eventually led to him making small talks about your methodology, then full talks about what he was up to do with his students and vice versa.

You felt so involved with this subtle approximation that you didn't feel when the discussions turned to personal stuff. Memories from your time in college, plans for the holidays, movies you liked, music you listened to. You became… close. Friendly close. And maybe someone would look at you two laughing at something in the corridor or sitting beside each other during a lecture from the Department, but nothing came to your ears and you couldn’t care less if it did. Jonathan proved himself to be a funny guy, not limited by his work and respectful; a good company, of course.

Took you a time to start with the attraction. Like, he was obviously a pretty man, a nice middle ground between someone who maintained a certain care for beauty and preferred something more natural, but you wouldn’t dare to put a finger on it for a lot of reasons. He was a colleague, maybe there was some rule about this type of thing, and more than that, he was divorced. You never asked how much of that past relationship affected him – personally, the age difference also left you a little apprehensive and in lack of hope; after all, he might prefer someone who was in the same age group (if he wanted someone at all).

The feeling stayed buried in your heart, untouched, invisible. Jonathan would touch your shoulder or look at you while listening to what you had to say, and that was the closest you got to keeping that feeling about him to go away.

“I didn't see you at the congress this week,” He stood in front of your seated figure during the lunch break and when you raised your head, you saw him towering over you with a frown.

Oh. The congress. You wish you could, for sure, it was the best way to find funding for your research work, and everyone you liked was there with panels or other interesting projects. But then your supervisor came with that stupid thing about restructuring some classes and the time you didn't have was reduced even further.

Maybe Jonathan noticed it. God, maybe everyone noticed your grumpy behavior, but now he was looking at you with a concerned expression and you sighed, rubbing the tiredness from your eyes to give him more than an ugly face.

“I’m not participating in it.”

“Not even as a visitor?”

“Let's just say I've been a little busier lately.”

Explaining the situation to him was like taking a big weight from your shoulders. As always, he listened carefully, pulling a chair to sit at a certain point in your rant and giving nothing but a good pair of ears for you to wear off.

“The thing is that I’m almost done, but sincerely I don’t know if I’ll have the energy to do anything for months now.”

“Maybe you just need to take your mind out of work for a time,” He said in a low tone, which made you scoff.

“How?”

“I don’t know, there’s a lot of things you can do,” There was an hesitancy in his voice, as if he wanted to verbalize something but was thinking better of it. You waited, watching him bite his bottom lip in thought. “Why don’t we… Have a few drinks after this?”

You stared at him in awe, not daring to open your mouth and compromise yourself with any embarrassing thing. Well, this was… Okay. Drinks. You can have a few drinks. He’s Jonathan, right? And he wanted to help you.

“Drinks?” The smile you gave him was genuine, making him tilt his head to the side and follow the movement of your face hiding in the palm of your hand.

“Just a few.”

“Yeah. Right. A few.”

“We can set a limit, like, two whole bottles of wine. For each other, I mean.”

You both laughed while you slapped his arm lightly for the teasing.

****

“Since when did you smoke?”

It was late, probably after midnight, but none of you were feeling able to leave the bar at that moment. With more than a few drinks, your head was buzzing with that good feeling of the alcohol letting you be more free, and Jonathan looked the same, even if he made a better half-drunk person than you, staying with the quiet side of this state of mind.

The place was nice, not new but away from the university to prevent any student surprises. Nothing too fancy, nor cheap – balanced enough that you could wear a dress at least. And he was… Him. Blue t-shirt. Jeans. Glasses. Nothing out of ordinary until, of course, he asked if you would be okay to keep him company at the smoking area.

“Disappointed?”

“Surprised, is all. I don’t think I’m in the position to be disappointed with you.”

Then Jonathan stared at you, his face illuminated by the cigarette and the light coming from the inside. He watched your stance, per se, head to toe, taking in the hands behind your back that were supporting your body against the small rail, because you leaned back just a touch to look at the sky. It felt different. It was different. You weren’t in your job clothes, not a lot of fabric to cover your body and give you something to hide behind.

In a way, the choice wasn’t intentional. You fully wanted to feel more able to fit in the place, to pretend you didn’t have work to do back in your apartment and to really make the encounter a night out. He has stayed indifferent from it since you arrived – well, at least until that moment.

Then you would lie if you said that didn’t bring a specific warm on you.

“You put a lot of faith in me,” Jonathan blew the smoke out of his mouth.

“... You’re on the list of the ‘cool teachers’, Jonathan. This is more than proof of your competence as a person.”

“I should be the one cheering you up,” He turned his body to you lazily, eyes downcast from embarrassment.

“We can do that with each other too.”

“Nah, I don’t think it’s fair. I’m just a miserable man who has no more solution.”

“Don’t be so dramatic!” You grunted before searching for his face and giving him a better look. “Hindu spirituality: Post Classical and Modern, page… 80. There's no difference between knowledge and devotion, both of them save the soul from the miseries of worldly life.”

“Tulsidas, I suppose,” He teased.

“Mm-hm.”

“And how do you know that so clearly?”

“I just like this phrase enough to know it by heart.”

“Nerd,” With that, he gained a slap on the chest and there was a light laugh that easily turned into silence. For your luck, Jonathan turned his head to blow the smoke away from your face, because then you could look at him freely, without having his attention on you.

Yeah, definitely, he was such a beautiful man. His nose, his beard, the curls of his hair… You would blame the alcohol later, but for a moment, when he just leaned his head against the wall and stared at the sky as you had before, your eyes wandered on his features, taking in every detail you wouldn’t be able to see in other circumstances.

You would blame the alcohol later, you repeated inside yourself. Hell, you would. But then he looked back at you, sensing your stare, and you just knew that if someone asked, if someone dared to ask why that moment of simple adoration filled you, your mouth would say something about the beers, but your mind would remind you that the only responsible for that was Jonathan – Jonathan and his beautiful face.

“You look beautiful tonight,” He whispered, the cigarette long forgotten on the floor while he took a step closer, holding the side of your face with cold fingers as if it was the right next thing he should do.

“Cheering me up?”

“No,” A head shake. “It’s a statement. You look beautiful everyday, tonight is no exception, but… Back then I could stay at a distance.”

“Not now.”

“Not when you look at me like that.”

The first touch of his lips on yours was determined, even if a little tentative because it was really new for both of you. It felt also innocent, at least from the start, when he limited himself to taste just your lips. Gently, you pulled him closer by his neck, which he reciprocated with his arms circling your waist and his tongue brushing your lips to deep the kiss.

The abrupt stop made you gasp. Jonathan stood a few feet away from you, a hand on his mouth and it didn't take you long to feel the first wave of rejection by the way he looked suddenly surprised.

You wanted to say something – you should say something. He was standing there, really creating a big distance between you both, as if you’re some kind of plague he needed to stay away immediately. Being really honest, you would cry if the shock wasn’t so paralyzing.

“Jon-”

“Nn-nn. No, just… I… I’m sorry, this…” His voice was firm and he paced back and forth a few times with indecision. “... Sorry. Really. Let’s just… I’ll take you home.”

Huh?

“What are you talking about?”

“This shouldn’t have happened, we… It’s not right.”

Right. Not right. Okay.

Then the tears came, but you didn’t dare to let it show in front of him. You opened and closed your mouth a few times, thinking about what to say, and trying to avoid looking at his regretful face as much as possible.

“... I can do it myself.”

“No, at least let me-”

“Fuck off, Jonathan,” Your voice was bitter and full of a specific type of pain. “Just… Let me go.”

And he did. He fucking did. It made you more angry because, at the end of the day, after all you could ever imagine for a good relationship with him, he gave you a taste of heaven just to throw you in the dirt right after.

If you cried in regret that night, he wouldn’t have the pleasure to know.

****

Taglist

@paintlavillered

#jonathan levy x reader #jonathan levy #jonathan levy fic #scenes from a marriage #oscar isaac #oscar isaac fandom

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