#it did win fan favorite movie so i know at least a couple thousand other people had the same response

[granolabird]

It's been one year since Army if the Dead released on Netflix and my brain was irreversibly melted into a zombie movie obsessed soup so uh, happy anniversary to that I guess?

[bymaellena]

Touching the Stars | Chapter #1

With a loud thud, Anna Park had been abruptly taken out of her dreams. The subway had finally arrived at her station.

When she was in High School, becoming a manager was nothing like that. She thought she would have a good car, a beautiful house and idols to take care. She could run in the morning, drink a coffee in the cafeteria next to her house after a hot shower and receive a smile from all her respectful co-workers. She would have friends to dinner with and have lots of fun activities on her schedule to entertain fans at the same time she would make sure all the stress provided by fame could be taken away from her protegees.

And, in the weekends, she could finally seat in peace at her sofa and enjoy some dramas and mukbangs while eating her favorite foods. Or, if the weather was good, she could just stargaze in the terrace while waiting for her homemade barbecue to be ready. Peace, silence and fullness.

Instead of the beautiful and complex scenario that a 16 year old girl could create in her mind, ten years later her life couldn't be more different. She had not gotten a place in the college of her choice and the internship she had gotten was in a company so small that the only artist who promoted it was one of the founders. Serving coffee was never her dream, let alone living in a tiny room with thousands of stairs and taking two hours to get to the company. Incredibly, despite all the endless walks and stairs that were cursed daily, she had put on weight too.

She blamed the huge amount of sleepless nights and noodles that she ate. But she was immensely dedicated to the company. Although not her dream company, what she discovered in a hidden dark corner of Gangnam-do was something beyond what she studied in college. She found CEOs who cared so much for the artists and staff that they forced her to at least doze off in the break room for a few hours daily. Four solo artists, three groups and two changes of address later, all the blood, sweat and tears had made the company grow and managed to house more artists than she had imagined.

Twenty trainees growing up year after year was something she hadn't imagined she would be able to witness. Some were younger, some older, but all talented and incredible enough to win a place in their hearts. Despite being different from what she had dreamed of, her life wasn't that bad. She only complained when reality hit her hard.

And reality literally decided to slam the door in her face as she tried to get out of the crowded subway. Missing the station would mean five minutes late. Five minutes that it would take to arrive at the cafeteria of the building just to see the queue for the giant cafe, and having to decide whether to be scolded for being late or for not bringing coffee for the entire team. It was her fault that she slept late enough not to be able to wake up on time, but it was for good reason.

She finally got a dorm room good enough for all twenty trainees who were going to move in an attempt to finally get her debut. An apartment near Gangnam-do with five bedrooms was not easy to find, in fact, it was impossible. But something she had learned at that company was that all the staff were responsible for doing the impossible to make the artists feel good. After so much bad news of idols being harmed in all different ways and in all different ways, all I wanted was for the girls, too young to be able to handle everything that fame could bring, to be able to rest in peace after a long day . If she couldn't have the apartment of her dreams, at least the girls could.

"I was almost asleep without your coffee, Anna." Kang Hyunsik jokes, getting up and helping the girl with all the boxes and bags she carried. "Are you preparing for war?" Anna laughed, feeling the full weight of the stress go away with the boxes she was carrying. After all these years, she was still surprised at how Hyunsik managed to have that effect on everyone.

He might not be handsome enough to be an idol, but his smile was enough to brighten up the room and his selfless attitude was what attracted the girl to the team in the first place. He was a talented manager, above all, managing his artists as best as possible and always making sure that they slept at least six hours a day. "Preparing for the war against the press, for sure. Did you forget that the news from the reality show is out today?"

"How could I forget? This place hasn't stopped for a second in the past month, it's insane," he took a deep breath, escorting her to the meeting room. "Do you really think that a reality show is the best way to debut girls? Twenty girls competing for nine places seems very cruel, and we know how much it can affect them," Anna asked, still concerned.

Six months later and she still hadn't gotten used to the idea of ​​playing teenagers in a place with cameras filming all the time and an invisible jury to look at their whole lives, without mercy. "It was taking too long for you to say that," Hyunsik laughed, delighted by her friend's motherly attitude.

"Despite not being the most appropriate according to the company's parameters, it will be a good thing. We promise, and we sign, that they will not be filmed all the time, they will have a day of rest a week and will have daily medical and psychological monitoring. . If any of them are not comfortable, we will take care of them "He breathed, placing the boxes on the floor of the elevator and pressing the button. "Besides, they will be in good hands."

Anna laughed, taking a break from the walk she had taken there. Some days, her body missed when the company was smaller. "Do you really think so?", She asked anxiously. After so many years dreaming, the opportunity to finally look after some group had fallen into her hands, leaving her excited and apprehensive at the same time.

"Anna, you work here as long as I do, you deserve this job. Besides, with someone who cares about them most of the time, I'm sure they will love you as a manager." And there it was, one more of those radiant smiles that filled her with confidence. It was impressive, as if all the charms of a smile came together in one person, it was almost as if it were in some cliché drama. Or in a toothpaste commercial.

They entered the meeting room, finding the others responsible for making that dream happen. There were two ways that described ONE Entertainment founder and main producer, Lee Jimin. Genius, responsible and CEO were the words that came together in all the stories about him, followed by all the awards he had won throughout his career, either for his music or for those he composed for his artists.

But if Anna could really describe her superior, it would be quite different. He was an extremely relaxed and funny guy, always forgetting where he had put his car keys, cell phone and glasses. Most of the time she was humming around the building and loved to spend most of her time on the terrace, as if the absence of sunlight from the studios blocked her source of inspiration.Above all, Jimin was like an older brother to Anna. He always offered her a ride and took milk from a box when he had time, helping her with all the jobs she received. Certainly a key part for the growth of it and the company as a whole.

Walking around with a half-empty cup of coffee in hand, the elegant woman was Nam Bora. She spoke emphatically on the phone, in a language she couldn't understand. Even if she were English, Anna would probably not understand. The company's co-founder was responsible for finance and international transactions.

She didn't spend a lot of time with the managing team, always traveling, but she always brought souvenirs for everyone. And when I say everyone, I mean everyone. It was almost as if she had a spreadsheet with the names of everyone in that building. And she probably had it, being addicted to Excel and organization.

Bora had become one of Anna's best friends after hanging out with the team and sharing her entire life with the intern, even without being drunk. Bora said that she saw a lot of potential in the girl and always gave her work, just as often as she asked her to shop or go to the movies. She was like the big sister she never had.

Sitting next to them, Daniel Wu read quietly, for the tenth time, Harry Potter. He was quiet and smart, always checking to see if anyone needed anything. Anna did not understand how he was still single. He was as handsome as he was polite. When the company started to grow, he stopped riding in the car to take the subway and the bus together with the whole team. It was his way of remembering the company's roots, something very different for the chairman of a company.

Anna admired it in him, never forgot where it came from. She often bought whole meals for the company and made sure everyone felt welcome, from longtime employees to the birds on the terrace. Maybe that's why the whole company felt like a huge family, due to Daniel's quiet and sure effort.

Ahn Namjoon was the only one missing, nothing they were not used to. He was not often late, but he was always the last to arrive, and when he did, he was never empty-handed. As the manager of the boy group Kingdom, he was the oldest of the team and the director of the managing team too. He always had some unusual idea that solved everyone's problem, he was someone who lived outside the box.

Anna had met his family at a barbecue and could tell that she cared for the boys in the group just as she cared for her son. Just as she took care of herself and Hyunsik as if they were older children. He was the one who had hired Anna, saying he had the potential to build the entire company. If anyone had catalyzed the company's growth, it was him. More often than he would like, he said that Anna and Hyunsik were a couple as good as popsicles in the summer.

Analyzing that scene well, she could understand why she liked that reality so different from his dreams. Nobody was normal in that company, just like her, but everyone worked to grow the company and each other as well. A coexistence that added, like a healthy family. It was not the family she was born into, but the one she chose to love.

Hyunsik helped her organize the things she had brought to the meeting, while Namjoon finally arrived with a box full of sweets and snacks, hoping to turn the meeting into a brunch. "Sorry for the delay, I couldn't help bringing these brownies, they just came out of the oven!"

From a distance, they almost looked like a happy family at their weekly meeting. Life could have hit Anna in the face a lot, but she would have done it all again just for that moment. "Anna, please tell me you got a place for the girls," Bora asked as she bit into the cupcake with more frosting, getting a judgmental look from Daniel for eating the candy before it was salted.

"I got it last night! It's just a ten-minute walk from here, two blocks from a supermarket and one from the pharmacy. It's a townhouse with five rooms and a terrace that they'll love! We can take them there as soon as the cleaning is over, probably tonight. I drafted how they can get organized in there too. " she showed the papers excitedly, ignoring Hyunsik's concerned look.

"Always proactive, huh?" Namjoon praised, trying to eat a chicken salty without dropping crumbs on himself. "Great! I'll check with the film crew if they can record their reaction. If it's not good enough for the show, at least we can keep it as a souvenir." Daniel started to write things down in his pocketbook as he spoke. "We should take them out to dinner beforehand, so we can celebrate the start of this new phase of their career. Anna and Hyunsik, can you handle this?" Both nodded, nodding excitedly.

"Namjoon, can you take charge of taking the judges to practice before filming tomorrow morning? I'm worried that Elle still doesn't feel comfortable enough to get back on stage." Namjoon agreed, while everyone worried in silence. It was like a secret that ran within the apparent perfect family, everyone knew, but nobody commented on it. "I'll take some brownies to cheer you up." He smiled and packed the candy from the table.

"Great. Let's hope there are no more problems to solve by tomorrow morning" Bora summed up the meeting, looking at his cell phone watch and swallowing that morning's fifth candy. "One fam, fighting!", And with that she got up and hurriedly left the room, as usual.

"Well, it's time for me to leave too." announced Daniel, after smiling at his friend's attitude and picking up his book along with a box of oatmeal cookies. "Thank you so much for breakfast. If you need me, you know where to find me." before walking out the door, now ajar, he turned to the table. "And Anna, after taking care of the girls, goes home to sleep. A great job also needs a night's rest, and we're going to need it to its fullest tomorrow." He smiled and left the room.

"He's right, we can't debut these girls if you fall exhausted in the hall. Hyunsik, after escorting the girls to the celebration dinner, take her home, please." Jimin asked, hurrying to finish an argument that would have no end if it depended on Anna. Her persistence was great for the job, but when she became stubborn, no one could stop her. "Anyway, as soon as they finish cleaning their new house we should go over there to examine the route. Namjoon, after finishing Prism's comeback schedule, take them to lunch, and they worked hard for it."

"We agreed to celebrate at dinner, I already booked their favorite karaoke room. Wheenie will spend the afternoon with you in the studio finishing recording the solo, Moon is finishing the choreography for the final survival stage, Stelar is getting ready for the recordings. of the new drama and I asked Hyejin to rest before tomorrow ". The older man remembered, earning a smile from the CEO, amused by his own distraction. "And that is why I will never work without you! Anna and Hyunsik will be able to take care of the trainees and organize them in the new house then? Or Kingdom also has some schedule that I don't remember?", He laughed at the joke itself.

"They will be rehearsing for the final stage today as well, but nothing that requires my presence. I can follow Anna and the girls without any problems." He shrugged, proud to have released his schedule for that day. "Great! Anna, if you can move on to Hyunsik how the dorm will be organized, I appreciate it. Do we close our meeting then?" Everyone waved, standing up. With a smile and a nod, Jimin left the room with three boxes of food that he would probably take to the recording studio and would support him for the rest of the day.

Namjoon opened the door for the youngest and headed for the dance studio on the third floor, beginning another pleasant day at work. Anna went to her table, followed by a concerned Hyunsik, almost like a puppy. "I thought about separating them by age, so they don't have to worry too much about formalities and any problems they encounter can be easily solved ..."

"Anna." Hyunsik called out worriedly, failing to interrupt her friend. "I know it is not what they are used to, but I think it is a good idea to help them interact independently from the group that is formed. After all, in this industry, any friendship is essential for their mental strengthening ..."

"Anna." She tried again in vain to stop the train of thoughts that kept flowing. "I'm more concerned with the younger ones, if they don't debut they will be extremely frustrated, if they debut it will take a lot more than someone normal their age. I'm worried about Hiyori, Lyra and Seoryu too. They are the oldest, they are probably thinking that if they don't debut now they won't have a chance and- "

"Anna!" The girl was interrupted by Hyunsik now holding her shoulders and turning all her attention to him. After realizing the position they were in, he released her and took a deep breath. "I won't scold you about how important it is that you sleep, I know you don't want to hear that." The girl took a deep breath of relief. She liked her friend's concern, but she just wanted to worry about leaving the girls well, and if she needed to sacrifice every night's sleep for the next six months, that was what she would do. "If you want to check on them, I'll just see if the boys need anything else. I'll meet you at the studios as soon as I can, okay?" The girl waved smiling, earning a smile back. "And don't worry about dinner, I know the perfect place for us to go together!"

Anna's eyes shone with anticipation, there was only one place that would accept booking the entire restaurant for so many people in the nick of time. Omma Jigu was her favorite restaurant and went whenever she had money, she would never forget how Hyunsik's mother welcomed her when she joined the company as if she were her own mother, let alone all the dumplings she took home that day. Smiling and jumping with joy, she headed to the second floor to find her future protégés. She hoped from the bottom of her heart that the girls would feel as welcome in that place as she had, and hoped even more that, regardless of the outcome, they could feel welcomed by the family that that company had become over the years. Even if some of them could not make their debut at that time, she knew very well that they would not be abandoned. After all, inside his briefcase he contained a plan B for each of them.

[theres-a-goldensky]

List of My Fic - 2020

Am I 17 days late? Why, yes. I am. But here is a list of all the fic I wrote in 2020, going chronologically, plus some superlatives as I look back on last year.

Total stories written: 18

Total words written: 100,130

SUPERLATIVES:

Favorite fic I wrote in 2020: Dream On (Win/Team)

Least favorite fic I wrote: Sorry A Thousand Times (Fighter/Tutor)

Story I think is the most underrated: Jumping Off the Deep End (Richie/Eddie)

Favorite moment that I wrote:  

“Fuck this,” Eddie said just as the elevator doors opened. He jumped in and pressed the button to close the doors again.

“Oh, no way,” Richie said and hopped in with him. When Eddie tried to get back out, Richie grabbed his suit jacket and held on. “Nope, not a chance.”

The others stood in the lobby staring at the two of them.

“Stanley, your friends,” Patty said as the doors slid shut.

“Believe me, honey, I know,” Stan answered.

- Fake it ‘Til You Make it

Favorite sex scene that I wrote: 

Kit’s first time giving a blowjob, By Myself With You

It turned out that watching Kit pace naked around his dorm room while he talked himself through giving Ming a blow job for the first time was so entertaining that actually getting his cock sucked was almost a secondary benefit.

Ming laid equally naked in the middle of Kit’s bed, his hands laced behind his head, and enjoyed the show. He could see his very smart boyfriend using his very big brain to come up with the best course of action. Knowing him the way he did, Ming had no doubt that when Kit said he’d done research, he meant both the fun porn type and the boring, informational type. Ming hoped there were flashcards involved.

Favorite pairing dynamic to write: Oblivious Meng Shao Fei and jealous, protective Tang Yi - I did some variation of that trope in all three of my HIStory3: Trapped fics.

Click through for a list of all 18 stories in 7 fandoms.

WAITING FOR A SIGN Fandom: IT the movies Pairing: Richie/Eddie Rating: Explicit Length: 6100 words Summary: Richie got tall. And broad. He had these wide shoulders and big hands that he’d gesture with emphatically when making some dumb joke about fucking Eddie’s dead mother. At one point, he poured Eddie a finger of Jameson and when Eddie tried to wave it off, Richie took hold of his wrist with one hand and pressed the glass into Eddie’s open palm with the other.

Eddie took a long sip as he had two equally shocking and mortifying thoughts in quick succession. The first was I want his hand around my dick, followed by holy fuck, I’m in love with this dirty asshole.

FAKE IT ‘TIL YOU MAKE IT  Fandom: IT the movies Pairing: Richie/Eddie Rating: Explicit  Length: ~21,000 words Summary: “Then that’s it? You staged some pictures and now it’s done?” Eddie asked. 

“I wish,” Richie sighed. “This was just a test balloon to see how it goes over. If people react well, then we’re gonna make it official.”

“Official?” Eddie said faintly.

“You know what I mean. An official fake relationship. Artificially in love in that grand Hollywood tradition.”

SORRY A THOUSAND TIMES

Fandom: Why R U? the series Pairing: Fighter/Tutor Rating: Explicit Length: 3200 words Summary: The ride down to the beach had been pleasant enough, even if Tutor’s heart twisted every time his two friends discreetly traded shy smiles during lulls in the conversation. But Tutor made his choice, and he would have to live with it from now on. Whenever it felt overwhelming, whenever Tutor felt his fingers itching to pick up his phone and text Fight to tell him everything, he reminded himself why he was doing this in the first place. Tutor knew how important family was, and he wouldn’t be able to stand it if he ruined Fight’s relationship with his father.

JUMPING OFF THE DEEP END

Fandom: IT the movies Pairing: Richie/Eddie Rating: Teen Length: 7500 words Summary: He didn’t know what he expected to see when he barged into the room, but Eddie hooked up to a thousand beeping machines and smiling brightly at him wasn’t it. Richie skidded to a stop in the doorway, nearly causing a pile up behind him. His breath caught inside his chest at the sight of Eddie, his hair a riotous mess and his doe eyes wide and glassy. 

“Hey, guys,” Eddie said when he saw them. There was a nurse tinkering with one of the machines beside him.

They ignored her and huddled around Eddie’s bed. Richie stood near the back corner and drank in the sight of him. He squeezed his hands together and bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from crying. Again. Jesus.

DREAM ON SERIES

Fandom: Until We Meet Again Pairing: Win/Team Rating: Explicit Length: 13,000 words over 3 stories Summary: “Team and Win, you’re in room 355,” Dean said.

Team rolled his eyes. “Why did I get stuck with you?” he hissed.

“Because I’m your senior, and you have to do what I say,” Win replied. Dream On Dream Team Dream Life

BY MYSELF WITH YOU

Fandom: 2Moons the series Pairing: Ming/Kit Rating: Explicit Length: 6100 words Summary: Oh, Kit,' Ming thought, hopelessly fond. This boy was going to ruin him.

THE MISSING PIECE

Fandom: HIStory3: Trapped Pairing: Meng Shao Fei/Tang Yi Rating: Teen Length: 4000 words Summary: “Tang Yi, I thought you didn’t like Coke,” Shao Fei asked. He gestured with the bottle and took a long sip.

Tang Yi barely glanced up from his work. “I don’t,” he replied.

“Then why is your refrigerator full of it?” Shao Fei pressed. When Tang Yi didn’t respond, Shao Fei shook his head. “What a waste of money, to buy something that you won’t even drink. Good thing I’m here.”

WHO YOU WANT ME TO BE

Fandom: HIStory3: Trapped Pairing: Meng Shao Fei/Tang Yi and Jack/Zhao Zi Rating: Mature Length: 10,300 words Summary: “You’re finally getting your wish. I’m leaving you alone.” Shao Fei waved a finger in his face. “But don’t get too excited. I’ll be back in a couple of days.”

“You’re going to help them look for whoever’s murdered those men,” Tang Yi surmised.

“A serial killer here in New Taipei City,” Shao Fei said. “It’s my duty.”

“Your duty,” Tang Yi replied mockingly. “They’re using you as bait.”

YOU CAN’T PLAY A PLAYER

Fandom: The Untamed Pairing: Jin Guangyao/Nie Huaisang Rating: Explicit Length: 1800 words Summary: If it wasn’t about his own amusement or pleasure, Nie Huaisang had no interest in it. Politics flew right over his head, waved away by the fluttering of one of his ever-present painted fans. That suited Meng Yao perfectly, as did the fact that he was obviously a cut-sleeve.

IN VINO VERITAS

Fandom: The Untamed Pairing: Lan Wangji / Wei Wuxian Rating: Teen Length: 5000 words Summary: Time stopped. Everything stopped. Wei Wuxian’s heart stopped. Slowly, he turned around to face Nie Huaisang.

“Lan Zhan is betrothed?” he asked carefully. 

Nie Huaisang paused with the bottle halfway to his lips. “Yes?” he said, sounding confused. “You must know that. Lan Qiren negotiated it himself.”

WEI WUXIAN VS. THE FEARSOME SUPER PANDA!!

Fandom: The Untamed Pairing: Gen Rating: Gen Length: 1300 words Summary: Wei Wuxian faces his most dangerous foe yet - the fearsome super panda.

MY BEST FRIEND Fandom: HIStory2: Right or Wrong Pairing: gen, Yijie/Shengzhe, Yijie + Shengzhe + YoYo Rating: gen Length: ~1700 words Summary: Even after over two years, Shengzhe is still uncomfortable around other parents.

FIVE YEARS LATER, THE WAY THINGS SHOULD HAVE BEEN

Fandom: HIStory3: Make Our Days Count Pairing: Xiang Haoting/Yu Xigu Rating: Mature Length: ~3400 words Summary: Yu Xigu isn’t at lecture, and the undergrads are worried. 

Yu Xigu rubbed his nose with the back of his hand sheepishly - so cute! How is he so cute?! - and said, “I wanted to get some work done.”

“You’re sick,” the guy replied. He placed one giant hand on Yu Xigu’s forehead and the corners of his mouth turned down. “You’ve got a fever.”

THE WAY TO A MAN’S HEART

Fandom: HIStory3: Trapped Pairing:  Tang Yi/Shao Fei (Jack/Zhao Zi) Rating: Teen Length: ~2000 words Summary: A new food truck moves in near the police station.

Tang Yi grabbed the bun and took a bite. It was incredible. “Well?” Shao Fei asked. Tang Yi shrugged and passed back the half-eaten bun. “It’s ok,” he lied.

MISPLACE MY HEART

Fandom: Until We Meet Again Pairing: Win/Team Rating: Mature Length: ~4000 words Summary: Team turned back to face him, and Win curled both hands around either side of Team’s jaw, kissing him softly before pulling back and gazing at him with a small, satisfied grin.

“Hia,” Team began, just as Win said, “I’ve gotta go.”

Team closed his mouth on the rest of the words, swallowing them down along with his disappointment.

SO ANNOYING  Fandom: Until We Meet Again Pairing: Win/Team Rating: Mature Length: ~9700 words Summary: Team deals with some very unwanted attention at a swim meet and some very wanted attention from Win. (TW: brief, non-graphic sexual harassment)

[iris-somnia]

Catch Up Tag 🌸

Tagged by beautiful angels @yeoldontknow​ to do this catch up tag. Thank you, dear!

1. What do you prefer to be called name-wise?

I use Iris here, but I have other pseudonyms on other profiles in order to protect myself. I never use my real name online.

2. When is your birthday?

Late February.

3. Where do you live?

I’m currently living in a hotel I can’t afford long term. I hope to find permanent shelter soon but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t hard as hell.

4. Three things you are doing right now?

I’m AFK fishing on Black Desert Online because they’re doing the fishing event that gives free money and if I can’t be rich irl, I can at least be the big cheese with an avatar that looks like an eight-year old forest nymph. I’m also listening to WayV because they’ve consistently held up as a good choice no matter what mood I’m in this year. In about 15 minutes, I’ll resume watching the Crown and doing my sticker book (my guilty pleasure during homelessness).

5. Four fandoms that have peaked your interest?

Honestly, I’ve avoided fandoms this year because people really don’t know how to take a breath and enjoy shit. Most kpop fandoms have a subset of older fans who I enjoy interacting with because they only talk about the music and performances, but there are other wings of fans who are so obsessed with winning and being all-powerful that I don’t even want to listen to the music anymore because it’ll feed the monster.

The accounts/mutuals who I’ve enjoyed the most this year have been Starlights, Insomnia, Sirens (Chloe x Halle), and Warriors & Weirdos (Aurora). I’m seeing some promising reasons to get back into video game fandoms but lord, there’s so much drama in most of the companies that I am holding back.

6. How has the pandemic been treating you?

No one in my immediate family has gotten sick, but I did have to bury my grandmother this spring and many family couldn’t come to her service because of the restrictions. Some of my colleagues have COVID. Many more lost their jobs because of it and most of them who were laid off were done so under false pretenses and I’m still mad.

I’m working remotely, but a budget scare earlier in the year motivated my employer to announce a furlough for many of us, only to rescind it a couple of days before it went live. By then, I had already lost my apartment and had packed all my shit in storage. I’ve been couch surfing and living in hotels since August and it’s cost me thousands of dollars. I’ve learned that when you don’t have a permanent address, people assume you’re a junkie even when you wash your ass. I’ve had a lot of disappointments this year in terms of human behavior, but vices like alcohol and beautiful women keep me level enough to stay out of the deep end. That, and I meditate a lot. 

I have lost all my patience with assholes though, especially ones who puff up at me in public like I’ll be intimidated and fold. Confrontation and avoidance are two sides of the same coin and I keep flipping it like a gambler. I’m either pretending they’re dead or I’m ripping a new asshole in a way that makes those eyes pop like “oh shitttttt.” When I’m no longer in survival mode with my housing, I hope to go back to understanding the nuances of lived experience. Until then, it’s eat or be eaten and I absolutely hate living black & white like that.

7. A song you can’t stop listening to?

Megan Thee Stallion - Realer. 

8. Recommend a movie?

1917 (2019) - It’s a British war film that has some of the best cinematography I’ve seen in many years. I was on the edge of my seat with chest pains but wow.

9. How old are you?

32

10. School, university, occupation, other?

Employed at a non-profit that profits off human suffering. I work there as a form of prostitution because of my student loans but I’m considering going into a different training program so I can leave and work for myself. It’ll take a couple years to save up.

11. Do you prefer heat or cold?

I refer 70 degrees F because my winter coat’s in storage.

12. Name one fact others may not know about you?

I have two history degrees and used to teach civics, U.S. history, and world history for a living. That’s why I’ve taken this year’s politics harder than your average citizen and it’s why my Twitter account is raging against elected officials half the time. Historians don’t shut off.

13. Are you shy?

Eh, not really anymore. I trained out of it because shyness kept me from earning money. Now I’m selectively withdrawn because I understand that the more people I interact with, the more likely I’ll need a nap. 

14. Preferred pronouns?

She/her

15. Biggest pet peeves?

1 - People not wearing masks when my region has run out of hospital beds.  2 - Ghosting with no explanation. I would rather be told, “I lied, I hate you,” because it gives closure. Ghosting always means billable therapy hours as I revisit why I’m preparing for a life alone. 3 - Not tipping food service staff. If you don’t tip food service workers, fuck you.

16. What is your favorite ‘dere’ type?

In anime/manga, I enjoy goudere characters for comic relief. 17. How would you rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be?

A solid 5 which will jump to a 7 when I have permanent shelter.

18. What is your main blog?

It’s a reblog of my non-kpop interests: @my-astral-wanderlust​

19. Is there something people need to know about you before they become friends?

Honestly, I probably should consider myself anti-friend or at least perpetually unlucky with my track record.

I go through periods of time where I can’t communicate well for medical reasons and it’s not a reflection on that friend as a person, but rather a challenge I’ve lived with since childhood. It could be walls of text or radio silence depending on how much I trust someone and that’s always to my own peril. Withdrawal from socializing is common during time periods when I know I’m likely to hurt someone’s feelings, especially if I love them and care about their emotional safety. I struggle a lot sharing vulnerabilities and true feelings to friends because I have many memories and experiences of people telling me they loved me and then using those vulnerabilities as ammunition to hurt me later. I’ve had many ex-friends lie about the kind of person I am when talking to friends/family, on everything from sexuality to appearance to interests to how we know each other. That, and many who claim to be my friend ditch me the moment I call out shitty behavior like lying to me or not keeping promises. 

With that kind of track record, I’ll take a nice dog. Trusting people is almost unattainable and while it’s a sad state of affairs, I’d rather not get actively hurt constantly.

tagging: ...I think a lot of my mutuals have already been tagged here but my memory isn’t good right now. Sooo if you want to be tagged, consider yourself tagged!

[lonespektr]

-Unclear why they couldn't find a Jew but gonna watch the nazi hunter one anyway.

It's not like Pacino can't act

So far we have standard revenge of the nerd set up except added anti-Semitism

That soup looks bomb af

Fanta fanta don't you wanna

That guy is nice and creepy

That was more classwar than i'm a execptional genuis white boy and i dig it

Cool chess board

The past is all there is

Lots of chess refrences

Wow

Can? We take solace in that. I think that would be a the only way to win is not to play type situation.

Though to be fair, same goes for the chess pieces they didn't have to slash each other.

7 days is a lot of games

That's...fancy tech for the 70's

WHOOOP

They keep throwing the sexism at her

This guy throwing you a bone just go with mr mysterious here

I appreciate how shitty the dancing is, they couldn't try to make that shit impressive compared to now

Shit how did he find the car, i looked down

I'm still wondering if this is a breadcrumb test or if they are sending him on a solo mission and going to lurk to provide back up

Who says i don't have a car

That's a fucking lie my dude

Solo mission it is

But where is his back up

He doesn't know bro

Mossad, whew.

Where's back up?

That there is a flimsy strip of tape

When was connect 4 invented?

They really want him to body somebody on his own before they let him in the club

Guess they waited until he was about to fail

Nazis kid

Slow on the uptake

I'm glad he doesn't do much of an accent. It was making me uncomfortable

Damn those fans were hella popular

Lol

She like this Nazi really not doing laundry next to me

Woah she been out the game a minute

Oh this a new endeavor

Um it's definitely murder and that's okay because they deserve it

It's memory

No choice. No quarter for Nazis.

The true horror stories are always doctors scientists

Bruh lil man sorry but you couldn't even kill a nazi bruh who killed your grandma

Bad enough a legit nazi war criminal

Or the person who killed your grandma, yo only relation

But both

Bruh no question

Don't call nazi cunts

Cunts give life

They don't deserve that title

Why is he always about to cry???

The end of this show better depict the rise of neo nazis

2 -

Bruh he only got 6 rounds he just popped off 4 rush that MF!!!!!

Now we are on the white boy genuis thing

Your def a kid

Windtalkers huh

Interesting intros

I'M IN FUCKING FLORIDA

I love her

I think her and the old couple are going to be my favorite

Jesus lordt that wall paper

Switch seats lady

Right fuckin noww

Damn she dumb

Actually move out the fuckin aisle altogether

God she dumb

Bwahahaaaa

Look at that gold chain fashion

I think the issue with the depcition trauma porn level barbarism is we are in the age of the polite nazi and this creates the drastic contrast to the modern day evil, much like they use old klan movies to juxstapose current day racists as- not that bad at least it's not the old days mentality

Yup making the world better is like the whole ball game not just for the 957

W the actual fuck

Imma laugh if she gotta shoot an old nazi bitch

Aww

There it is - we're the good guys

Fucking nothin!!! You're not a field agent

What's with the alliteration?

I don't think that was a good use of that shot, those work best slow and with meaning

To say nothing of stranger things setting the gold standard for that one

Are there any non-white Jewish ppl in this show

Trial....okaayyy

So far all these fucks have been sadistic serial killers so how would trotting out his trophies do anything but give him something to wack off to before he dies

I thought hell wasn't a thing?????

Yea trial is a plot device so they can snoop

God this kid

He's a fuckin nazi

Now you're giving him water

Boy you were like middle aged dude

Is everyone stupid

Fuckin kill that kid ok well fucking shove him in the trunk

Yes

Yes kid

They came there to kill him dude

Forever soilders

No wonder they thought they could come here cause of yo bitch ass

I FUCKIN KNEW IT

Dammit punk asss

Are we supposed to identify with the kid who doesn't want to murder as the good guy cause i fucking don't

You feel bad for that fuckinnnazi you not staying up a night for the thousand he personally murdered fuck you kid

Really fuck you

The brutality here is people being complicit in their own dehuminization

That's a beautiful table

They always contrive this situation where men can't hit women

[klaroline-fantasies]

(Me waves from under the bed)

Don’t throw stones at me!!!

I’m bacckkkkkkkk :D

Ok i’m not exactly back but ya know, I got a foot in the door!

I’m not taking any cover requests, the ones I did have i deleted them, and if whoever sent them still want the cover requests when I reopen my requests you can send them back but I got stuff I’m doing.

I had migrated from tumblr back to IMVU. My name there is Beches and for those of you who know Beches and my catalog (HIIIIIII) 

A while ago I decided to read some fanfiction to pass some time and the more I got into it the more I kept reading more and more and then I found some inspiration to write. Now I’m not publishing anything until it’s finished because I still have ideas that I wanna get done too so I’ll be dealing with stuff one at a time. Because I still have my shop on IMVU to take care of as well as my real life and if anyone wants to know feel free to message me (if you even remember me)

I see the Klaroline Awards are still going on so Im glad for that.

I want to confirm some of my fanfiction stuff for you guys to give yall some hope!

SENIOR YEAR- Definitely continuing it. I have alot of chapter layouts that Ive done since Ive been gone so I can’t NOT do it. I already know how it’s going to end and everything so I HAVE to finish that story

REVENGE- Definitely continuing it. I also did chapter layouts and I actually finished the chapter layouts it’s just to write it out in a fanfic format. The reason why I haven’t been working on it is because someone left a review and it had me thinking. They said that basically Caroline is winning too much and Klaus is not only older but much more wiser despite her extra powers and darkness and I agree with this person. So I’ll be LIGHTLY rewriting it, to be a bit more OC in regards to Klaus because Caroline can catch him offguard with her wit and darkness but she can’t be so smart and so better than him all the time, he is of course a thousand years old)

SILENCE BY DARKNESS SEQUEL (Yes I did promise I’d be doing a sequel to this oneshot and I already started on chapter layouts but I decided it would be a short story with long chapters because I want this story to be told. I have a HUGE Fan of the Spartacus Series and no matter what I do I’ll always want to do this fic just because of Spartacus and the inspiration it gave me)

Pride & Prejudice- yall know I’m finishing this. Pride and Prejudice is my FAVORITE movie of ALL TIME and I’m not letting this go. I just have one more chapter to finish out tho.

I also have some upcoming fanfics I put on my fanfiction page and I want to address some of them.

SnowWhite Oneshot- I’ll publish this when I can because I think I finished it, but I’m not all the way sure. But I promised a sequel to it as well. I started chapter layouts for it but I don’t think I’ll be continuing it. But I’ll keep the chapter layouts of it in case I change my mind.

A Vampire Cinderella Story/Maiden- For those who had been reading my stuff since day one you know that my first story EVER was named A Vampire Cinderella Story based loosely on the story of Cinderella. Now it never even made it anywhere close to Cinderella based lol but I’m working on it. I rewrote it heavily. I changed the title to Maiden and for those who had a taste of Maiden before I removed it, SORRY. But I’m working on it! and I want to finish it before publishing. I have a good bit of chapters in but I still wanna wait till its finished.

Always & Forever Sequel- Not doing it. I feel that I best leave that story where it ended. Sorry for making you guys wait tho!

I mentioned a story on my fanfiction page about a story based on an indian serial I’ve watched and while I started it and I will be working on it, it’s not necessarily based on the series, but moreso it’s a story compiled of different ideas from bollywood movies and series into one fanfic. I’ve done like a couple of chapters already but it’ll be one of those short stories with long chapters type of thing but right now I have no inspiration for it and publishing it with no ending and making you guys wait seems cruel so ill keep it till i finish it obviously. It has Klaroline, Kalijah, Kennett, Stebekah, Delena.

I promised a short story/one shot of Caroline being possessed by a greek goddess and I started it and it’s reached like 20,000 words but it’s not finished but I do plan on finishing it. There’s just alot I added in it. Like, if yall know my fanfictions, yall know I like bringing people back from the dead lol.

I planned on doing a short story based on Tyler Perry’s The Have and the HAve Nots but I haven’t started it. Also it’s not really going to be based on that show but more or less it will be drama centric, like the bold and the beautiful and stuff like that. So it might be a one shot, three shot or something.But on a scale of one to a hundred on whether I will be doing it...a solid 50% cause I do wanna do it but TIME

Humanitate Eius Apicem- I will finish it off because I AM doing a sequel and it’s been plotted out majorily so I kinda have to do it cause I can’t plot out that amount of story and NOT doing it. So most likely ill try to end HEA in like two chapters and hopefully do the sequel and because it’s plotted out, hopefully it won’t take long to write because majority of the writing is thinking out the story and plotting it so because ive done that I’m HOPING it would be a breeze to write. so just hope I don’t add any shit and complicate shit lol.

I also have some oneshots that I was working on that I plan on finishing and publishing. Two of them is Kalijah, one is Kalijah based on Being Mary Jane but you know me nothing I say thats based on something is ever really based on something I just took the Being Mary Jane concept and ran with it. I started a time travel piece but ... I don’t think I’ll finish it. I also started a college oneshot and I think ill finish that and I also started a oneshot based on the last season of Charmed where Coup (the cupid who fell for Pheobe) came in and their storyline gave me inspiration and I plan to finish it. I don’t know how it will end but I do plan on finishing it.

Last but certainly not least because this one is the biggie.

An Originals Fanfiction. 

Basically It will be my take on what I think the story should have went. I basically did chapter layouts and plotting for a season 1 and a season 2 already. It will be long chaptered but not much chapters, like 10-12 chapters at most. I want it to be mainly about the Originals and them coming together as a family, dealing with family issues  that they never got to deal with and family relatives that they never got to deal with.

 I won’t be including the family relatives that has been introduced in the Originals series as I have not been watching nor will I ever.

 There will be no Hayley baby, however Hayley will be in it. I wanted to write her out of it but maybe I can write her in a way that people might like her, idk. 

KLAUS AND ELIJAH WILL MOST DEFINITELY NOTTTT BE KILLING THEMSELVES.

 I will not be adding any canonverse stuff from the Originals, well I might but not the strix whatever and those kind of stuff. It will be mainly Originals...featuring Klaroline and other ships.

It would start from Season 5 of TVD and Episode 1 of TO. I’ll keep some stuff canon but after that I’ll go my own way from there. 

[artdjgblog]

Innerview: ? / STEP Inside Design

December 2006

Poster: DJG Design

Note: Interview about winning the STEP 100 for a poster.

0​1) Do you personally like DeVotchKa’s music? In other words, were you personally attached to this design? Or to the band?

First of all, if I wasn’t personally attached to my work then I would quit design altogether. This is why I skipped the whole real job format and stuck to my own no-money-making, yet, wealth-of-design-freedom GUNS… (A Little History) I was attending a concert by the great M. Ward a couple years ago in Omah, NE and was blown away by his opening act. It’s rare to experience something truly pure and straight from the source in person. I felt an intense passion and power displayed by DeVotchKa that night. Something that really came from deep inside​ ​the heart/gut and I longed to be a part of that. Immediately I wanted to marry my design to this band (I know this all sounds pretty big cheese, but I really feel an attachment with things that possess an actual soul). After the show I chickened-out at the idea of approaching the band. So, I stuck to my quiet ways and waited for them to come to my town. Eventually, they came to Kansas City, MO as an opening act again. I didn’t have enough notice to make anything for the show so I waited some more. They came back half a year later, headlining just a few blocks away from my house (this was my design chance that you now see in this magazine). And ironically, DeVotchKa is getting ready to take stage just forty minutes away from my fledgling writer fingers. Originally I was scheduled to attend tonight. Sadly, a lack of funds, a sick wife, house guests, a mountain of work and a Monday night keep me locked in the basement. DeVotchKa is blasting on my speakers and I can’t think of a better alternate place to be this evening. Oh well, the last DeVotchKa show was absolutely perfect and I’d like to leave that impression for a while longer. Trust me, the show was way better than my poster that represented it. ​0​2) What inspired you to make this design? The majority of the time a client can be linked to my posters. But, sometimes I just make them for the heck of it. Usually this is on occasion for bands/musicians that I really enjoy and wish to help spread the word about (and, I just like to make things). I found that some of my more memorable/enjoyable posters come this way. I DO work with a couple of venues/people first-hand, and carry a great relationship. However, for some shows it can be quite a shoestring to get to the bottom of making posters officially. I realize that some designers might think I’m working around the system a bit and possibly stepping on toes. But what’s the matter with just making something for the heart of it? There is no harm in that. It’s like when I was a ten and spent my hours penciling a life-sized, detailed drawing to commemorate Batman. It’s the exact same thing to me…me just really enjoying something and paying a tribute to it. The posters are also a self-promotion and more importantly help the venue and artists out. Everybody is a winner in my book. The Design Gods know I don’t make any money at the dang thing…all of those in declining favor can do ME a favor and find real world problems to moan over. Another thing is that I simply don’t have the time or resources to make the hundreds (or thousands) of posters that some promoters might request with a big show. I’ve had more praise than problem with making posters without permission…but, I bet some of the real hot-shot guys would hang me for it. Now, there’s a poster to get worked-up ugly over! Anyway, inspiration came from me liking DeVotchKa’s music along with my want to sit in the basement with a bad back…to pay them back in the only way I half-way know how to. ​0​3) Was there anything or one that influenced you? People have an easy-hard time wrapping questions like this one around my work. Like I said previously, I just felt like making this. I sat down and interpreted what DeVotchKa meant to me at that moment. Any other moment it would have been different. For instance, I made a poster for their show tonight. It consists of hand-cut, ornate, spray painted type that is overlapping 47 crudely-drawn, prancing ponies on lime green paper. It’s not very much like this poster (the one STEP picked), other that it’s really nothing special and it captures what I felt to be a moment in DeVotchKa’s music…or at least when I was listening/creating. It’s just where I felt like going at the time of departure. This image came and I grinned…problem solved. If I have to really work at something, then it becomes work. And you can always spot the ones that didn’t work for me. On influences…I got bushes and buckets of them (that’s another interview). In general I can’t go anywhere or do anything without absorbing in everything…it can be good and bad. I can read peeled billboards and restroom scribbles with ease, but I have a hard time with restaurant menus. Graphic design and so-called art saved and ruined me. But, it’s the only thing I really like to do (other than watch movies and listen to music…and eat junk). It’s important to me to just try and soak-up lots of things…especially the little, ordinary elementary things. A crummy day job has to be worked to keep the basement lights on. Though, I keep the actual design lights on 24-7. With a limited leash on my actual time to work on design, I don’t have time to mess around. This is where outside daily absorption comes in handy. Let’s say I need a centaur (like in this poster)…well, I just grab one from the place I keep the centaurs in my head. Which, is basically my Dad’s arms spread-out to coax a big ol’ bull into a pen…right before the bull kicks Dad in the gut and then he busts a fence board over that bull’s head. Growing up on a farm taught me to pay attention…and never make my dad angry. And I keep stockpiles of all types of things at arm’s length to reach and grab and just make and do. I like to have a good time with it. I don’t really consider it work. ​0​4) Does the conglomerative nature of DeVotchKa’s music influence the collage-like nature of the design, with all of its parts and motifs? Why did you choose this particular aesthetic? Very rarely do I make a premeditated aesthetic design choice. I’m very strict with not restricting myself. A lot of the time I’ll just have the idea in my head. I do-do sketches…but, they always ramble on and I tend to always go back to that initial idea in my head. So, then it’s all about putting clothes on it. Simply, I just go. It’s exciting to have an idea and then watch it grow. I’m sure that if America could design their children before pregnancy/birth (maybe even pick them off the shelf), we sure would. Personally, I like the purity of letting something develop. My designs are my babies. I like to hold hands with them and when they grow-up they are chosen to represent some design competition…and then I’m asked to bail them out by way of trying to answer questions. It can be pretty embarrassing. I like to just let them speak for themselves. But, people like answers. Yeah, I’ve been called a collage artist, an assembler. Mainly because the bulk of the designs are build with my hands. The computer is just a production tool for me (and a late night time saver/savior). I’m instantly encouraged to push things further if such “collage-like” labels arise. I have got to stay ahead of myself because I’m my only competition. But in the end, isn’t all design “collage-like” in some fashion? I guess the way I built this design ended up marrying to DeVotchKa’s music properly. Honestly, I never really thought about it. It just felt good and right to me. I suppose it did to you too? ​0​5) What are you most satisfied with regarding the design? This is a funny question. It sounds like I’m dying or going away (which, is sorta true in the grand scheme). I guess I’m just happy with the silly idea of being able to find a bit of time in life to do something like this. To slow it all down to the speed of a little Exacto blade slice, pencil scratch or thumb-print. Sitting by my self is very important to me. It helps me. A lot of people get bored when they are alone. I’ve never understood that. Some of my more wholesome life moments have come by way of sitting on my rear, making things for the heck of it. But, I don’t want to get into all that artsy junkyard talk. It DOES mean a lot to me whenever the work reflects well to others. I don’t care what you/they get from it. Just the fact that it speaked a spark of something, of anything, means so much to me. It’s nice to hand out brain smiles. Something of me has got to have some personality because me in person is pretty boorish (and not good to look at). Overall, I don’t find this design to be special or original. It’s probably been done a billion times before…and better. Posters are the same as pop songs. But, this is my blood…my pop song with a twist…and a wink. ​0​6) I noticed the messiness, the thumb-prints, the smudges. It gave it a nice kind of die-hard fan making a logo for their favorite band feeling. Was there a reason for this kind of aesthetic technique? Is this particular to or for the band and/or is this a DJG style? Is it to go along with the feel of DeVotchKa’s Music? As a child with many acres to roam in the country, I was dirty all the time. That’s carried over to now when I roam for answers at the design table. The difference is that thankfully my mom doesn’t hose me off at the back door anymore. (Fast Forward) In design school we didn’t jump to the computer right away. One day my friends were grumbling about how they couldn’t wait to start designing on computers. I told them that I was going to take the more hands-on approach…the route that didn’t need computers. I was dead serious. All of those previous years building things by hand and getting dirty, conditioned me to think this way. I even thought that typography was creating the layout of land by building map sculptures by hand (boy, was I disappointed). My friends thought I was a complete idiot and tried to set me straight. It’s really funny now because most of them aren’t even doing graphic design anymore and I sit and make most things with my hands and really love it. While learning computers I didn’t like how I couldn’t physically touch what I was working with. I couldn’t get around the screen barrier confidently. And the bulk of computer graphics and design firms felt so lifeless and seemed to lack passion and soul. I preferred something that felt like a human being was responsible for it. Computers are appreciated greatly, but they are just a tool. Smudges, marks, thumb-prints and so-ons are evidence of a human element. Hardly do I ever remove those elements. There is something pure, matter-of-fact, cave-like and very of-the-moment about them. They help narrate the story and reveal the process of life. Is this a DJG style? Well, I don’t know what that means. I’ll answer yes, I suppose. It’s nothing I strive to achieve or be known for branding sake. Each new day to me is a new style on my brain and soul. Whether its design, music or movies, I long for the attraction of immediacy (I suppose I’m using this word correctly?)…to me, its something that feels lived-in and instantly speaks in its own way. But, has a down-to-Earth familiarity to it that makes you want to really listen and come back for more. It’s something authentic and with a soul that shows it’s been spit-shined. I feel this way especially about the work of Saul Steinberg, Henryk Tomaszewski, Jean-Michel Basquiat, Wes Anderson, Michel Gondry, ElliottbSmith…and…child drawings, folk art, hand-drawn type/signs, cuts, scribbles and marks. (to name a few). …and I don’t trust a man with clean hands. Or a man that won’t let his kids dig up the yard. ​0​7) What is the explanation behind the cows? The Wine bottle? Why is the poor wine-bottle-girl stepping on her own head? Those are centaurs, not cows. While most centaurs have the body of a horse, mine have a cow!…and with big horns on their heads (at least in this depiction). I also tend to make my animals pretty meaty. I keep them well-fed! For some reason I couldn’t get the centaurs out of my head with this poster. I draw it to the whole animal instinct in human nature. Even better is that the wine bottle woman is a centaur too. She wears a skirt made of her ex-lovers’ hides, trophies of the ones she’s conquered (except for the couple that are getting away with some dignity left). She definitely means business. To flip it around, the centaurs can also represent the idea of climbing a mountain of struggle…it could be relationships, bad luck, a loss of faith or addiction. It’s all subjective, really. I enjoy hearing what others interpret from the design(s). The lead singer for DeVotchKa drinks from a wine bottle in-between each song. This image in my head from their live sets must explain the wine reference. I get the sense that he’s been through some battlefields with the ladies. With the woman spilling the skull under her heels…well, the band has a song called “Death by Blonde” (or something like that). I always get a good giggle at that mangled face on a stick! I don’t know much more about how it came along. I just sat and spit it up. I cut the start and the finish ribbons and was happy with the run. ​0​8) It seems as if you are referencing some mythology here. What is it? Did you create it? Or is it something the band references? I’m no scholar in mythology (or anything for that matter), so it’s definitely just a piece that I’ve pieced together in my own head and on paper…to make it part of my mythology. I just like a design that says something. Each design of mine tries to tell a story. It must be talking to you. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have. (I’m sorry to answer this question so short) ​0​9) What motivates you? What makes/how do you define good design? An aspect of motivation to me (like I’ve said before) is the ability to slow things down and sit alone…to simply make things. I’ve always been a big supporter of my own time. I get so much out of design by way of discovery. Not just for design-sake, rather it’s important for me to do it to help understand myself a bit more. If there is anybody to shovel and burn the coal in my world, well it’s definitely gotta be me. Though, all that time alone has caused me to acquire a major case of social inadequacies (among other things). But, I’ve always carried a heavy backpack ever since I can remember. I’ve also had to make many sacrifices in other areas of life. And I’ve also gained so much and am learning to manage things a bit better as I earn some years. Still, there are times when I’ve wanted to slice my design limb off, or maybe just do things for myself completely. Maybe I’m just too dramatic or need a vacation? I’m also my only competition/enemy. Even though my work ethic, excitement, goals, and bulky portfolio are over-exhaustive (to you and to me)…I still think I’m the laziest guy in my room. (I’ve touched base on the following too…) Good design to me is defined by something that moves me…something with heart and identifiable to the human spirit. True, it’s all subjective, but there is a fine line too. I’m just not a big fan of snobs and elitists. Most of the time I’d rather talk with an every-day person, struggling to work two jobs as a school lunch cook-office cleaner, than a group of fancy-pants designers with clean fingernails…it just feels more real to me. And I don’t mean to offend anybody here. Awkward as I may be…I will talk with anybody. I DO love talking about my work with interested people. But it’s good for me to get away from the work and talk about everyday things (I know I’m running circles right now, sorry). Good design has also got to have something to say, and the majority of the time it’s gotta have great humor! I like to get a giggle. It brightens my day to see something and say, “Look at that! It’s great!” And most of the time I’m referring to a crumpled shopping list, a great hand-made thrift store find, handwriting samples or a child’s drawing. I do have my art and graphic design heroes, but there is great everyday stuff that makes up the design of the real world. Whenever I go to most gallery shows, art and design ends up feeling lifeless to me for several days. A college professor once told me that there is no good and bad design, only smart and stupid. I tend to keep that in mind. I’m sure you are bored with this by now and are scratching at what I’m probably not really saying right now. Sorry to ramble on. But, I trust it helps understand a bit for you…it does for me. I thank you so much for your time, patience and interest. -djg

[itsjesperfahey]

modern soc au

inej: 

loves to dance !!! esp ballet but she can dance to whatever tbfh, she’s that good 

likes to wear caps, esp backwards. really loves bomber jackets too. 

has a couple, small tattoos dedicated to her saints 

is that one kid who loves to do parkour (both ironically and unironically) for instance is really good at it but sometimes just yells PARKOUR and steps over a rock

usually found eating lunch with her pals on the roof of the school 

is amazing at hide and seek like holy fuck ????? hid for 2 hours once and wasn’t found, came back the next day and was like “y'all losers SUCK" 

loves to study other people’s cultures, as well as history and is great as p.e (never has gotten a bad grade in the flexibility tests) 

likes to read poem books 

has a black cat as a pet named "saint" 

pronounced meme as "mehmeh” the first time she read it 

only has snapchat and instagram. is that kid who ALWAYS posts the sunset every day, esp from weird/high places and the comments are always “HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET UP THERE" 

cried the most during fox and the hound 

always braiding nina’s hair. Knows how to do all the super advanced onces as well

"I don’t know, CAN YOU?" 

 the best one at pushing people on the swings 

AMAZING AT JUST DANCE WITH JESPER 

"sorry I ran out of fucks to give try again later maybe?" 

gives the nicest presents. always knows what a person wants for christmas/their birthday 

the one who’s really into photography and is always taking aesthetic™ pics of Nina for her social media accounts 

Prefers tea over coffee

wylan:

bullied for not being able to read (at least up until high school), so is super shy 

loves drawing. the artistic™ one who takes anatomy to be able to draw people better 

MASTER FLUTE MUSICIAN. On the school band. Jams hard af when he plays it 

is in gem math and AP chem with kuwei. 

loves sweet. addicted to blue jolly ranchers. his tongue is always blue 

constantly pushing up his thick rimmed glasses (even if they ain’t on, which causes him to poke his eye)

looooves all the superhero shows on the CW 

V neck sweaters. always

always has his trusty satchel

only has tumblr. has like 10k followers because of his artwork. 

”‘illuminati’ ? is that a band?“ 

cat person even though he’s allergic to cat fur. absolutely adores inej’s cat. settles for owning a horned lizard named "shrek" 

secretly a huge fan of memes 

really gay for tom holland and ed sheeran (calls him "ginger Jesus”) 

gamer with jesper. they always play overwatch together, wylans better tho. a genji and Ana main 

cried the most during big hero six 

wylan, with blank eyes: “I like my coffee how I like my men” // jesper: *spits out his drink* 

matthias: 

sports fan obv. On the schools hockey team bc his fav is hockey. is extremely competitive when he plays it. Is constantly checking but never gets penalties (aka slamming the other players against the walls)

played basketball against jesper and surprisingly lost. jesper won’t let it go 

dog person. owns a pet pomsky (Pomeranian-husky) with nina who’s name is “bub" 

“long hair don’t care”draws inspiration from Harry styles 

really philosophical. takes all the philosophy/ethics classes available 

kind of sounds like Thor (thick and deep accent) 

a good™

"you’re all horrible trash”

“do we really have to be doing this now? I have to finish my homework" 

loves baking. bakes everything for the love of his life 

grey sweatshirts and adidas shoes 

wears contacts Because he hates how glasses look on him. only wears them when he’s home 

oblivious to all the women in love with him

"CAN YOU EVEN LIFT BRO? BECAUSE I SURE AS FRICK CAN” (doesn’t curse) 

real 👍🏻🤘🏻👌🏻life🤰🏻👼🏻🌱student📚✂️✏️athelete🏃🏼🥇🏆🥅🏒

has Facebook and Twitter only

cried the most during bambi and dumbo 

little spoon™ 

has a couple tattoos with very deep meanings

jesper: 

dancer with inej. dances like those ppl who look like robots ??? the ones who look like they freeze parts of their body while the others move. AMAZING at it 

loves jazz but also dubstep/edm and rap/r&b. Beyoncé is MOM/QUEEN. 

sometimes djs parties 

again, huge gamer with wylan. he’s a lucio and junkrat main for overwatch. loves like every video game ever 

loves all the marvel movies, in love with black panther (was team cap) 

dresses like a hipster but also sometimes a fuck boy (tank tops and shorts with a backwards cap style) 

favorite subject is business and debate. great negotiator 

cried the most during the lion king 

A+ cosplayer (especially his lucio cosplay) 

big supporter of human rights (LGBTA+, feminist, black lives matter, poc representation). Will LITERALLY get into fights over anyone who thinks otherwise. Fist fights, always supported by Kaz and Matthias. Got suspended for 3 days for breaking a kids nose who thought LGBTA+ people should **** ** ****) 

that one kid who has 50 fidget spinners and can do cool tricks with them. also manages to sell all of them 

skateboard pro™ 

always sends the blinking face meme, even if it’s out of context 

all the social medias. 

one tattoo only of a gun with a 'bang’ flag coming out of it 

nina: 

 PROFESSIONAL👏🏻 MAKE 👏🏻 UP 👏🏻 ARTISTS 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 HAS HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF FOLLOWERS ON HER INSTAGRAM AND THE SAME FOR HER YOUTUBE CHANNEL 

Speaking of YouTube, she always does cute videos. Baking/cooking tutorial videos featuring Matthias, 'i do my boyfriends makeup’, 'my boyfriend does my makeup’, 'my boyfriend buys my makeup’, does make up tutorials obviously, challenges with her best friend inej like the 'whisper challenge’. everyone loves her and says her and Matthias are their otp 

loves fashion design, takes that class. 

loves horror movies/creepy things but also Disney 

great at roller skating 

always wins the best dressed awards ad school 

also huge fan of ed sheeran. loves little mix more than 5h. 

cried the most during 'up' 

Can speak like 4 languages (English, french, Latin and spanish) 

loves traveling and learning about new cultures too 

dancer!inej’s biggest fan and hockey!matthias’ biggest fan 

always breaks snapchat streaks 

likes to (friendly) debate with jesper, especially over stupid things 

amazing with kids. babysits all the time. calls “bub” (the dog) her and matthias’ baby 

big spoon™ 

notes are so fucking pretty. buys the most expensive stationary and notebooks 

also huge supporter of human rights. runs the feminist club. (Jesper is the Vice President) stresses loving yourself and your body, and makes sure to design comfortable yet GORGEOUS clothes for “"plus sized people”“ 

wins 'dynamic duo’ award with inej 

always eating lollipops 

has a few very small tatos of cute things like roses and crowns. has one quote written in cursive on her rib

kaz: 

prefers black coffee as well 

loves crime shows, whether they’re real or fake. for instance loves both 'Dateline’ and 'Criminal Minds’ also loves 'House’

 favorite class is psychology, learning how a person thinks and acts and feels

has the dregs tattoo on his arm * edge lord 9000™ * such a drama queen and diva like damn 

*deep sigh* "I think I’d rather go take a nap” *gets up and leaves* 

also loves computer science. knows how to hack shit like a pro 

always rough housing with jesper. broke a table once 

does walk with a cane. likes to slap matthias’ ass with it 

“bow down you fucking peasants" 

only types in lower case with 0 emojis and no punctuation marks. CONSTANTLY leaves people on read 

only has Twitter and snapchat. His posts on snapchat never have captions, yet somehow has a 200 day streak with Jesper and a 250 day streak with inej 

loves watching horror movies with nina 

 *in a fight* "oh I’ll sHOW YOU SOME DIRTY HANDS” *swings* 

gets second place for best dressed award 

always sending memes with no context in their group chat, as well as vines 

indie and alternative rock fan 

“does it look like I care because I’m sorry if it does I didn’t mean to give you that impression" 

head over heels for inej Ghafa like wow 

likes to read a lot of mystery books and non fiction books 

cried the most during finding dory 

can solve a Rubik’s cube under a minute and won’t let you forget it 

The one asshole who picks either Kirby or metaknight in super smash brothers brawl

 hates seeing the notification bubble so he always has all chats muted and notifications turned off for apps 

kiss ass to all the teachers to get them A’s

Kuwei: 

SCIENCE NERD. ALWAYS singing the bill nye theme song. Loves ASAPScience on YouTube. Master at chemistry and biology 

"hey did u know bill nye is, like, my dad" 

nina treats him like a baby 

loves everything to do with Star Wars while wylan loves star trek more. Fighting ensues. 

has a pet Siamese cat name sparky 

Used to have a huge crush on jesper and everyone knew it except jesper. 

knows the intro to the bee movie ("according to all known laws of aviation-”)

 jesper in the group chat: “gonna go shower be right back” // kuwei: “without me ;)?” // wylan: “KUWEI SWEAR TO FUCK” // kaz: “watch your fucking language wylan" 

obsessed with Pokémon go even if it died out (chose team instinct) 

"fight me on this" 

has Twitter, snapchat and instagram 

Always drinking ginger ale 

master at bop it 

the one kid who always forgets to pay you back for stuff 

is also into the CW super hero shows, so him and wylan are constantly talking about it 

loves cartoons and anime 

speaks fluent fuckboy 

God awful at comebacks 

"let’s take a selfie guys !!!” // “kuwei no-” // *snapshot sound* 

talks !!! Like !! This !!!! for,,, some reason ???????? 

huge nerd for other things too like lord of the rings and Harry Potter and game of thrones 

cried the most during inside out

 "do you think planes are scared of heights?“ // "for fucks same kuwei it’s 4am”

[cripplinganxietyflix]

I saw Valerian.

If you’ve ever spoken to me at length about movies, there’s a good chance my thoughts on “headache cinema” have come up. It’s an umbrella term I’ve come up with that encompasses the deluge of loud, obnoxious, brainless, neutered, hundred-million-dollar-budgeted trashfests that are destroying theater culture as we know it. I’m talking about the Disney’s Marvel franchises, the post-Matrix Wachowski migraines, the Transformers films- head-exploding visual fuckfests that leave the average adult feeling like they’ve crawled out some hellscape version of a McDonald’s play palace birthday party. This brand of film is easily my least enjoyed and most disliked. The vast majority of the time these movies are castrated down to a PG-13- or worse, a PG!, they’ve got bloated budgets, dumb plotlines, stupid dialog, and best of all: punching, loud noises, explosions, TOTAL SENSORY OVERLOAD. 

For many years I have hated superhero movies and glazed over at Hollywood’s air-horn retreads of movies like Clash of the Titans and Independence Day: Resurgence and the recent Ghost in the Shell mishap. I hate movies like this and I find them at least majorly to blame for the death of the hard R-rated action flick. There are exceptions to the formula, like Mad Max: Fury Road, the 2014 Godzilla, and Dredd, but generally speaking, they’re unwatchable. I will be the first to admit that I’m not a big fan of whimsy, but I will be happy to defend my position on this. Giant blockbuster action movies are generally dumb and boring if you’ve got more than two brain cells to rub together. I do try to balance my feelings about people who like brain-dead, ham-fisted, infantile PG-13 sci-fi action movies with my penchant for unrepentantly trashy, low-brow 70s and 80s exploitation horror films. I know for a fact that there’s a certain segment of cinema elitists who would see my interest in that subgenre as an undeniable sign of being a philistine troglodyte, which slightly tempers my extreme prejudicial judgment of those who love headache cinema. 

I can pick up the hanging thread to unravel this tapestry. It’ll lead you through all of the recent loud crashing DC fiascos and the rainbow of annoying apocalypse and disaster films and CG shitshows. Once you hit the Star Wars prequels, you’re getting close. But the film that started all of this hatred is Luc Besson’s The Fifth Element, easily in my top five most despised films of all time (that’s a list for another day!). 

It feels a little bizarre for me to say that I hate Luc Besson. Léon: The Professional is one of my favorite films of all time, and easily my favorite film of 1994. But aside from that and 1990′s La Femme Nikita, I find Besson wholly intolerable. His movies tend toward obnxious, incomprehensible, overwhelming, anxiety-inducing horse shit. And while many people are happy to agree with me, it seems no one outside of myself is willing to slaughter the sacred cow that is The Fifth Element. Some see a sci-fi fantasy classic, I proffer that it’s a grotesque panacea of ADHD, loud noises and cringey acting. To Besson’s credit, most of the time his films don’t take themselves seriously, and that’s fine. But The Fifth Element is the first film in my memory where I felt literally assaulted and invaded by the unfettered gaudy head-spinning madness of big, loud, overwhelming movies. My level of general calmness could be compared to a that of a frightened rabbit with combat shock, so I try to be cognizant that this dislike has less to do with objective quality and more to do with my personal preferences and tolerance levels. Let’s be real- I’m a person with severe, crippling anxiety. Headache cinema is not made for me. 

That being said, I saw the trailers for Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, and I immediately started getting Vietnam flashbacks of Chris Tucker in a wig and leopard print jumping out of my television and screaming into my face. My significant other has a much more relaxed attitude toward these things and a seemingly endless well of patience for Luc Besson, so I had a feeling I was going to end up seeing this film in theaters and I started mentally preparing for it. And I’m really glad that I did all that emotional gestation, because I found Valerian to be surprisingly tolerable, aside from being a chaotic discombobulation of ideas that all generally have the potential to be good but fail because Luc Besson must have the attention span of a squirrel. And squirrels plant trees because they literally can’t remember where they’ve left their nuts. I couldn’t dream of a better summation of why Luc Besson turns nearly everything he touches into abject shit.

Valerian is essentially a very straight-forward narrative about a couple of federal agents (?) in space (???) who uncover a conspiracy involving a group of displaced aliens. They spend the film unraveling a mystery surrounding an enigmatic void in the middle of a space ship (?) or man-made planet (???) that contains thousands of different species from throughout the universe that live in surprising harmony. The alien refugees and the void on the ship or planet are related, you will later find. 

That’s basically it. It’s a simple storyline with simple elements like “war is bad” and “the powerful oppress the powerless” and “love is universal and always wins.” If you dig down past all of the color and noise and distraction, that’s the basic bedrock. I think I was expecting this movie to be a convoluted mess, and to a great extent it absolutely was. But I wouldn’t say that the story was the weakest part of the film. 

What did some substantial damage was the acting and dialog. The two leads had no chemistry and the actor playing the title character (Dane DeHaan) had a stunning drought of charisma. I think that his opposite, Cara Delevingne, has the potential to be a fun leading lady, but she never had a chance in this movie. The love angle was hackneyed and totally unnecessary to the point that the film would have fared much better if Valerian and Laureline were friends instead of a ~~will they or won’t they???~~ couple. I thought it was insulting to my sensibilities, and that sucks since the romance thing was such an ingrained aspect of the movie. I couldn’t tell if they were even in a relationship with each other or if Valerian had puppy love and Laureline has simply spent their entire careers fighting off his advances only to reluctantly agree to marry him after the film’s climax. This film could have really used a competent screen writer. I think I even could have lived with some of the eye-rollingly dumb but baseline-acceptable dialog you hear in Disney’s© Marvel™ Avengers Part 2: Electric Boogaloo. The villain (played by Clive Owen) was such a stupid caricature of literally everything that is wrong with Bad Guys in major American cinema- instantly hate-able, predictable, no angle or point of sympathy, stupid rationale for his actions-type of shit. And what’s really frustrating is that the Owen’s villain had a completely rational and utilitarian motive for his actions. But that gets torpedoed by the giant flashing neon signs that say “HE’S THE BAD GUY” and “EVIL PIECE OF SHIT” hanging over his head in every scene he’s featured in. It absolutely felt like the characters were totally empty and needed to be reworked from the ground up. I even thought Rihanna’s character had more depth than either Valerian or Laureline. Valerian’s a by-the-books soldier with a heart of gold? Could have fooled me! Laureline’s a toughgirl with a penchant for violent overreaction but still maintains a balanced moral compass? Hard to see through the horse shit nonsense they wrote for her. Character development and the script were both a total, unmitigated disaster.  

Another thing that I think the film failed at was building tension. Everything felt a little too whimsical and inconsequential. In the beginning, a bus full of mercenaries (?) is attacked by a violent hexapedal alien and Valerian and Laureline watch all of them die savagely with nothing more than a smirking “glad we made it outta that scrape!” reaction. It never really feels like they’re in any danger or that there’s any emotional peak or valley for the characters, with maybe a single, small exception. You watch a lot of people get shot to death and even a head get blown clean off and another cut right in half, but it all seems so cartoonish and trivial that you can’t help but feel like nothing really matters and it’s all just a low-stakes video game. 

But I don’t want to give you the impression that this movie is a complete trainwreck (it tries, believe me). There were things that I liked and appreciated. The visuals and alien designs were inventive and there was never really a moment where you couldn’t get lost in the scene. It kind of felt like Rick and Morty without the nihilism and good writing. Everything was very colorful, the universe felt very inhabited. Around halfway through, Valerian and Laureline have an almost brilliant run in with a species of giant food-obsessed frogs (I actually went through the trouble of looking it up; they’re called Boulan-Bathors) and I found the whole scenario to be kind of charming and cute. I didn’t really mind Rihanna’s cameo. The refugee aliens, the Pearls, were cool and appealing in the same translucent way as the Engineers of Prometheus. While I definitely felt some Avatar vibes, the whole opalescent, iridescent aesthetic was visually pleasing and I really liked the semi-androgynous thing they had going on. 

I think the strongest part of this film is the first several minutes that lays out Earth’s journey into space. It was beautiful and touching and enough to make you feel really depressed about the state of our space exploration programs and the hopelessness and polarization of our world affairs. I would liked to have seen more of a thematic connection to the introduction because it felt extremely dissonant with the rest of the movie, which, by comparison, is hard to feel particularly emotional about. If you’re not planning on seeing Valerian, I would at least recommend watching the first few minutes. If the movie had come full circle to it, you can see how it could have been brilliant. 

Overall, Valerian is kind of a giant mess, and by all means I should have absolutely hated it, because it is textbook headache cinema. I think that there was a wide dearth of missed opportunities with the material, and with a more competent screenwriter, a better cast, and maybe someone else in the director’s seat, we’d be talking about a viable start to a franchise. But too often Valerian ties its own shoelaces together and eats shit and expects us to be engrossed and entertained. The relationship between Valerian and Laureline- both as a friendship, coworkership and romance- either needed to be reengineered from the ground up or scrapped entirely. I think Dane DeHaan was totally wrong for the part of Valerian and I could see this movie succeeding in more ways had someone with more charisma been the leading man. Valerian desperately needed some tension, and the total absence of crisis or consequence left an unbridgeable emotional void. It’s beautiful- but it’s a mess, and that seems to be Luc Besson’s calling card. I doubt we’ll ever see another Léon, but if Besson’s next film is as much of an improvement on Valerian as Valerian was on Lucy, then we might have the potential to see something really special. And maybe in five to eight years when everyone has forgotten about this spectacle, we’ll get a decent reboot for the Valerian material. 

★ ★ ½

[cryptoriawebb]

Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol.2 Review

Confession: I was hesitant going into this film.

I know I’m probably in the minority there, but it’s seemed to me, over the last couple of years, that Marvel has been trying and failing with their sequels (or threequels) to outdo their predecessors. I first noticed it with Thor 2; a cycle of unbalanced/inappropriate tone and only partially resonating character arcs. Don’t get me wrong, each movie is entertaining in its own way, but much like Pixar’s long-standing record for fresh and original, Marvel has this knack for presenting comic book movies in unusual ways. However, it’s been running for so long and so frequent now their ‘unusual’ has become ‘expected’ and it’s rare I’ve gone into one of their movies lately with more than half-hearted enthusiasm. Doctor Strange was the exception, but that’s purely because I’m partial to his character. And I did enjoy that movie, even if I would have liked a little more ground and a little less quirky. For me, personally, Guardians of the Galaxy 2 raised the bar again, and that’s not something I’ve really felt in a sequel since seeing Winter Soldier.

The beginning of the film felt a little disjointed, in both tone and scene transition. I’ll say right now I’ve never read a Guardians comic, I knew nothing about them before going to see the first film so I went into each one, blind. The tonal shift wasn’t as smooth as I personally would have liked between the flashback sequence and the fast-forward. Admittedly, the film as was such a ride as a whole that I’ve forgotten the exact details but: that first sequence with the Guardians began with an urgency that felt a little forced, even with the abrupt ‘time-transition’ card or whatever it’s called. It transitioned into something more humorous and light-hearted which did better match the opening scene, but for a little while there, I worried I was in for another Thor 2.

Speaking of the opening, I loved the decision to show the sequence from Groot’s point of view. Another unusual approach, just like the first film, and like the first film I think it did a pretty decent job (I say decent because again, they opened its predecessor with a similar stylistic approach.) Plus, who doesn’t love a pint-sized Groot?

From an aesthetic perspective, the Sovereign race fascinated me. So simple, yet I was completely drawn into their golden look. Made me think back to James Bond and an old story I heard about one of their movies (which in turn left me wondering what kind of makeup was used.) Speaking of makeup, I’m almost always more impressed by the practical vs computer generated ratio. Being a fan, as I am, of the old Hollywood era, I’m in awe of the sort of creatures artists can create with their own two hands. It’s literally giving life to a fantasy. Computers produce a cleaner effect but I don’t know…it just isn’t the same.  

Also, and more from a nerd than critical perspective: I couldn’t take their battle methods entirely seriously, and I’m not sure I was supposed to. The set-up, the way they crowded around the one Sovereign pilot, even the battle sequence itself reminded me of an old-school arcade. I loved that. Strange, but it worked because it wasn’t overly emphasized.

Jumping ahead a bit (because it’s late and I can’t remember every detail) the only casting I found questionable was Stallone. I hate to say that because I grew up watching Rocky, I still go see Rocky movies, I love Stallone as an actor but I just don’t know if I was really feeling anything from him. I’m sure he tried, but that spark I saw in so many other character’s eyes wasn’t in his. His lines didn’t register deep within his character’s heart, because they were just that, lines. I haven’t seen Stallone in really anything else other than the Rocky movies, but I’m wondering now if he’s the kind of actor who’s good at one thing (the underdog athlete, the soldier) and nothing else. I hope that’s not the case. His appearance was a nice, nostalgic little surprise. I’d like to see more, but I want to feel it, too. So here’s hoping.

Now let’s talk about Kurt Russell. Damn, where’s he been hiding? That’s how you deliver a performance. I love loved his character, it’s so rare these days to find villains who not only don’t believe they’re villains but genuinely think they’re in the right. I guess X-men’s Apocalypse was a little like that, but his presentation came off more sinister, as opposed to Ego’s sincerity. I was discussing this with my family: Ego never lied to Quill, not once. He merely chose to partly answer and explain things. At least, that’s what I think. Unlike Apocalypse, or even Thor 2’s Malekith, Ego didn’t spend thousands of years in suspended sleep: he lived it. His age and disconnect mesh so well with his not-villain villainous plans, and Russell was so honest and genuine he captured that perfectly.

Yandu was actually my favorite surprise. From his killer montage-escape sequence to his heart-breaking confession at end, he definitely wins as the award for best highlight in my opinion. I can’t remember much of what he did in the first film, minus the backstory but I thought that carried over well to where we see him, when he’s first introduced in this one. We also, at least, I also, saw a little more, that defeat and stubborn streak when confronted. I always had this feeling, even in the first film, that he sort of saw Quill as his son, but it was so subtle before I wasn’t actually sure they were going to go that route. As the plot progressed and Yandu’s role increased I thought back on an earlier conversation between the Guardians of the Galaxy, and how Drax thought Yandu was Quill’s father earlier on. That’s definitely foreshadowing at its finest, yet I didn’t find it too obvious and I think that’s because of what I remembered of Yandu’s relationship with Quill from the last movie. That, and Drax tends to be the outrageous one used for outrageous humor; that little moment could have easily been used to capitalize on that, taken as a way to highlight Quill’s leftover rage towards Yandu for kidnapping and ‘ruining’ his childhood.

I actually cried when he died, which I never would have expected from a Guardians movie. The bond between him and Quill, as well as Chris Pratt’s ability to channel emotion through his eyes (a feat I’ve only seen a couple actors do with such intensity) made for a heartbreaking send-off, yet satisfying, at the same time. From a viewer perspective, I would have liked him to live, but looking critically, his character arc was complete by the end of the film; there wasn’t anywhere else to go that felt deserved. If anything (because I’ve seen this happen before) further development might have hindered his progress and tarnished this performance going forward, so I think, overall, death suited him.

What a death it was…I’m reminded, loosely, of It’s a Wonderful Life: there are glacier-wide differences between Yandu and George Bailey but they’re the same in that they’re the one man kicked around most of their life, forced to make the tough decisions despite the consequences, but in the end they’ve touched the lives of more people than they’ll ever know. I think Kraglin’s reaction to the funeral sums up Yandu better than I could. Side note though, I felt his relationship with Rocket definitely helped both characters.

Rocket on his own, though, I almost felt he backtracked from where we left him at the end of the first film. It could be that I’m misremembering but I felt like his gruff attitude (and likewise reception to it) didn’t feel as natural as it did the first go-round. I liked that characters weren’t just okay with it, because even close-knit families have limited tolerance towards insult. It just needed a bit of refining, or perhaps more build-up in order to really appreciate his character evolution. I do like that there was, and as the movie progressed, how he seemed to gradually accept that he cared about this group, and that was okay. I did think, those few “asshole” encounters aside, Rocket maintained a balance between that exasperated sarcasm and earnestness. Especially with Groot.

Backing up for a second, I’d just like to note I was pleasantly surprised by Kraglin’s character as well. I do want to go back and rewatch the first movie; when I do, I’ll look for his character. I wasn’t expecting someone with so minor a role to play such a large part in this film. I’m really glad he did. That doesn’t happen as nearly as often as I wish it did—it reminded me very vaguely of Galaxy Quest, and the “red shirt” character, there (because it’s been a very long time since I’ve seen that movie as well.) Minor characters experience their own share conflict: it’s nice we got to see that. I hope Kraglin sticks around for a third film.

Other character notes: Mantis was adorable. Her innocence and relationship with Drax, however strange, was touching in its own way. Loud and clunky Drax is the one the delicate Mantis bonds with and chooses to trust her secrets to I loved that. It’s unexpected, in true Guardian fashion. Nebula, too, I felt for much more in this movie. I’ve seen so many violent, angry characters claiming/with tragic backstories over the years, especially when it comes to the super-hero genre, it gets a little tiresome. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot to be said for that and I understand why the way they are (Magneto is one of my favorite characters) it’s just I’m usually more interested in the characters who appear more put together but who you can tell have suffered as well, even if they choose not to outwardly display it. That’s in part because I can relate to that but also because it’s almost more interesting to me. That said…I really felt for Nebula. Hearing what Thanos did to her, there’s no way I can ignore that and seeing her come undone was hard to watch. Maybe her confrontation and turnaround happened a bit quickly but she was forced along with them for most of the movie at different points. I suppose that would chip away at her rage eventually. That, and a crumbling god-planet. I’ll also say that, as opposed to Erik Lehnsherr, who I wish would just stay with the X-men, I’m glad Nebula wasn’t dissuaded from killing her father. She turned around, but not completely, and felt fitting for her state of mind. All that rage directed at Thanos now, it’ll be interesting to see when she next appears.

Gamora too, I’m glad had a lot more development, and I’m equally glad she expressed it indirectly, with the exception of her confrontation with Nebula. There was so much pain between them, so much shared pain despite coming from different sides. The scene itself was a bit expected, even Nebula’s confession she only wanted a sister; it worked for them, though. Without it, I don’t think there could have been any headway, especially because their entire arc is a very relied-on trope for siblings in conflict. On another note I’m so relieved to see an organic, slow-building romance in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It’s there, it’s real but it’s not the most important part of their relationship. Family first, everything else comes with time. I’m so tired of people thinking one needs a romantic-interest in order to better sell a movie. I’ve seen so many super hero films bogged down by forced sub-plots and no chemistry, Gamora and Quill are a breath of fresh air.

I haven’t mentioned Peter Quill yet because, as the main character there’s a lot to say, and a lot that’s already seen on screen. As one of the most expressive characters you know and hear a lot of what he’s thinking as the story goes, more than anyone else, I’d say. His familial conflicts weren’t the most original, but it’s been a long time since I’ve seen it approached in a way that didn’t feel cliché or undeserved. Even his rage upon learning Ego killed his mother—which I’ve seen before (Anakin in Star Wars, Magneto in First Class, even Sasuke in the Naruto franchise—it felt so raw, but not the ‘bordering-on-villianous-transformation’ raw. Maybe that’s why it left a different impact. As I said before, Chris Pratt is incredibly gifted at displaying his emotion through his eyes. You really felt Quill explode inside, and because, maybe, he was the hero, you cheered a little when he charged at Ego. The same can be said for later in the film, when he tapped into his godly abilities. Yandu’s “I don’t control the arrow with my head” advice. That also made me think of First Class (the point between rage and serenity.) It didn’t matter though, because at this point, at least I think, you care enough about these characters and their bonds that you want Quill to win, even if he’s going to do it through a recycled trope. You want this human to pummel his all-powerful father, a father who’s caused so much death and destruction and you want this family to remain intact because dammit, they aren’t perfect, they aren’t all the best people but they deserve to belong.

Stepping away from the characters for a moment, my favorite sequence by far was Yandu and company’s escape. I’ve never seen so much death in a Marvel Studios movie. Maybe Age of Ultron, but nothing explicitly shown, and while that led to Civil War, no one died in that movie either. I’m not saying I want to see a death count, because I don’t, but you can’t call a movie Civil WAR and have no one die. The stakes were just so sub-par in that movie. So when Yandu killed what, two-hundred people with a single arrow, I was shocked. I’d gotten so used to the Cinematic Universe’s quirky humor buddy-buddy ‘let’s-sell-merchandise’ mantra I never would have expected that. Or the cavern of skeletons. This movie felt far more like a legitimate science fiction film than it did a super hero one, and I suppose in many ways, it is. I would like to mention though that this scene did not earn a favorite’s declaration because of the death. I don’t go see a film to watch characters die, as I said. The way this montage was shot and edited convinced me to hope for the rest of the film, that maybe it would be more than ‘trying too hard.’ I mean I enjoyed it, but that sequence made me believe this movie could stand on its own. I’d like to go back and see this movie again so I can better describe it. I will say I remember not only being entertained by the off-beat choices, but impressed by how seamless transitions were, how on par with the music; it was a montage, but it was a slightly manic montage, and those tend to succeed, or come across far too chaotic and messy. Or again, trying too hard.

I’d like to make one small note at the end of the film, and it is a small thing. There are a couple of tonal shifts in this movie that don’t work as well as they could (such as Mantis falling unconscious during the climactic battle—I appreciate what they were trying to do and I know I can be a sucker for the traditional that way but I just felt like it dampened the seriousness when you needed to feel it.) The ending of this movie, the jump from Yandu’s death to the credits, felt the same way. It was very abrupt, and really each time it happened felt as though the creative visionaries weren’t respecting the characters, or rather, downplaying their emotional significance. I’d have to see the movie again to say for sure, but I remember feeling as though not enough time was given to appreciate Yandu’s impact.

There were a lot of post-credit scenes as well. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a movie, especially a super hero one, where the post-credit scenes don’t take away from the movie’s tonal impact. Doctor Strange, for example; both scenes felt far too rushed, I would have liked to see them at the end of another movie, despite how little time there is until Ragnarok. I don’t particularly like feeling as though I MUST BE EXCITED RIGHT NOW, when I already was for this origin movie. I digress, all of Guardians’ scenes felt appropriate, and the easter eggs blended in. Even the ones I didn’t personally understand (simply for not having read the comics) I was able to figure out—from Stallone’s original Guardians to Adam’s loose introduction. I guess Marvel has plans beyond Infinity war after all. Oh, and teenage Groot! Totally unnecessary, but a lot of fun. I wonder how long it takes tree-creatures to grow up. Will we see Groot at that age when the Guardians return? Or perhaps he’ll finally be an adult again…I rather liked small Groot. Humorous, adorable, but not at all over the top. And the small and different ways the Guardians ‘parented’ him.

If I have anything left to say, I suppose it’s about Mister Stan Lee. Only in a Guardians movie could they get away with such an outrageous cameo, and I loved it. Fourth-wall-breaking seems to be a building trend; let’s hope no one gets carried away with it, however well it worked here. I do think the second appearance at the end was a little slow-moving, and that, hm…I’m not sure it worked as well as it could have, but is it really my place to critically analyze a Stan Lee cameo? The man’s ninety-four, and there to entertain us fans. I wanted to mention it but I’m fine with the way it turned out.

So yeah, I think that’s it, over all. If I see the movie again, I may write a follow-up, but for now, this sums up my thoughts pretty well. I do need to watch the original again, but as it is now I think I prefer this one.  Don’t go in expecting the same thing, though, to anyone who hasn’t yet seen it; there’s more heart than humor, and it helps the movie stand out on its own.

[rainyphilosopher]

My Favorite Video Games

I’m gonna be talking about my favorite video games, what I grew up with and how they changed my life into the wonderful beardo that I am today. So I’m gonna start off by saying that I’m not really an Xbox player, I’ve never owned any Xbox stations or any Xbox games I always found that Xbox was more along the lines of first-person shooters and sports games and that’s not really my cup of tea.

I’m more into JRPGs and stuff like that. It really started back when I was 16 years old and I played a ton of basketball back then like I thought I was gonna go pro because I was so good. But then I wound up breaking my ankle and I had to sit for 6 weeks and I thought what the hell am I gonna do for 6 weeks– so I got a PlayStation. And with that PlayStation, I got Final Fantasy VII and then my whole life changed.

This was the first JRPG that I’ve ever played and I just absolutely fell in love with it. I played it, I beat it all, I put in 100 hours for the first time I played and then I played it 3 more times. I beat the game four times! Putting in 100 hours each time at least! I even got Aeris to level 100 with her final limit break before the end of disk one. That’s how hardcore I was. I am a level grinder. I will get everyone to as high level as humanly possible so I can just beat the rest of the storyline very easily. I don't see anything wrong~ with a little game and grind~ From Final Fantasy VII, my love of Final Fantasy grew so I wound up playing FF8, FF9, FF10, and FF10-2 Couldn’t play 11 because that was online and I’m not a fan of online games. Played FF12, I’ve played 13, 13-2 and I’m finishing up 13-3 now as well.

I’ve played both Final Fantasy Tactics and then I went back and played FF4, 5, and 6. I like Final Fantasy. In fact, before coming to Korea, one of my dreams– because I noticed that I love to play the games– but the dialogue and the storytelling is sometimes quite stupid. So I thought that maybe one day I’d move to Japan, I’d learn Japanese, and I’d start working for Square Enix and then I’d fix all their terrible dialogue. And I’d fire their voice actors because FF10– Whoa Titus, you are annoying. It’s still a fun game. It’s my second favorite Final Fantasy.

After FF7, I really got into Metal Gear Solid as well. I think I’ve played just about every single Metal Gear Solid except for the virtual mission things that aren’t real story lines. I haven’t played Revengeance yet but that’s next on my hit list. Outside of that, one of my favorite games of all time was Shadow of the Colossus. I pretty much played that whole thing in one sitting. I didn’t step away from the TV until I had finished the very last boss. Seriously one of the most beautiful games I’ve ever played in my entire life and if you haven’t played it yet, they have a remastered version for the PS3 Definitely pick that up because it is just–it’s just gorgeous. More along the lines of JRPGs, I really also got into–fairly recently, Ninokuni. Last year I played that all It had all of the charm and all of the wonder and the magic. I’m pretty sure it’s partly created by the people at Studio Ghibli and I love all Studio Ghibli movies as well so this definitely had that feel for me. One of my favorite video game experiences of all time.

Very similar to Ninokuni, I also wound up playing Dragon Quest 8. This was definitely Martina’s least favorite game that I’ve ever played. *Hums Dragon Quest battle song* Did you explain why I don’t like it? because I was writing an essay for the university for one of my final year courses and all I hear is: *Hums Dragon Quest battle song* Oh no! The Metal King Slime ran away. See, I was a very good university student so I made sure that I finished all of my essays as soon as the topics were handed out because I was very diligent so I could spend the rest of my time playing video games. I don’t really play that many racing games either.

The only racing game that I really got into was Burnout Revenge that was super fun Only because I didn’t really care about winning the game as much as knocking people into cliffs and making them explode in slow motion in ripito fifito sipa slow motion. Man, I wish I knew that song when I played that game when I was younger. One racing game I am very very serious about though is Mario Kart Seriously you will never ever ever beat me in Mario Kart Give me Toad and you’re done for I am god tier level Mario Kart player. I don’t lose, that’s it. -That’s a lie. -Shut it! You’re supposed to be sick! Another game that I take very seriously is Super Smash Bros.

Except I only got into it with the Gamecube version, I didn’t play the Nintendo64 version. And then I really got into it for the Wii because they had Snake in there and I played with Snake all the time and I was incredibly cheap except I only lost when I played online because they got all the kirbys! I played against three different kirbys! And by three, I mean three! and they would all suck me in and they would walk off the cliff and they would spit me out and they’d fly away and I wouldn’t be able to get back and they were so cheap! Also when it come to Super Smash, I don’t play a lot of fighting games.

The only other game that’s I played a lot that’s really for fighting is Marvel vs. Capcom 2 again, I’m pretty much god level at that. Get me Cable, Guile and Rogue and you’re dead. Dead do you hear me?! You don’t have a chance Remember when we went to Japan and you played against people live and they killed you No! I beat them in Japan as well! Nobody beats me at Marvel vs. Capcom 2. Nobody. I do play some games with Martina as well. We really got into Super Mario Galaxy together. Of course, I’d be Mario and she’d be the little star thing that would get all the star bits and freeze all the enemies for me.

That was one of our most precious bonding moments for video games. I never really got into Zelda but I do want to get into it more. The only time that I actually played it was for the Nintendo DS for the Phantom Hourglass. I loved that game. I never played any of the older ones. But now with the Wii, I’m really waiting for Hyrule Warriors as soon as I’m finished playing Child of Light, which is a super fun game as well. I’m probably gonna get into the Windwaker HD remake because I heard that’s a really fun game too Another very big game that Martina and I play together is Katamari. We played it for PS2. We played it for the PS3. We played it on the PS VITA as well. We love that game, we play it together all the time. BAAAAA~ In fact you might notice the references that we make to Katamari in our ‘How to Eat Ramen Like a Pro’ video because it’s a really big factor in our lives. In fact, for the cosplay convention that we just went to, I really wanted to dress up as Katamari but I didn’t know how to pack a gigantic ball in a suitcase like that so maybe next time, if it’s like a local cosplay convention, I’ll do Katamari.

I have to be the King of the Cosmos and I’ll wear those tights. In fact, we like that game so much that we actually play the soundtrack when we drive to work sometimes. *gasp* I forgot about Skyrim! It’s not really a JRPG. Martina got me that game for my birthday a couple years ago and that’s how I spent my birthday. We didn’t go out for dinner or anything she’s just like, “Here’s a game, play it’ And that’s all I did for my birthday and it was really great. It’s probably one of my favorite games ever. Again, I’m a level grinder so I haven’t actually advanced at all in the main storyline of that game. I’m level 100 in alchemy, one hand wielding, dual wielding, blocking, destruction magic, speechcraft as well.

I don’t even know about the main chants or anything, I just level grind a whole lot. Anyhow, so that’s it for this week’s TL;DR. I’m gonna talk about a few more of my favorite games in our blog post so make sure you click on the link here if you’d want to geek out with me over video games as well. I know it’s not as popular as the manga and anime topic that Martina did last time but I’m sure we got a few gamers here that who are interested as well. In fact the next major tattoo that I plan on getting, I’m planning on getting a whole sleeve from here down to here, full of my favorite video game characters and also some comic characters so I’m not necessarily sure who I’m gonna put in there yet so if you have any suggestions, I’d love to hear what you think.

Or if you have any favorite video games that you grew up with, let me know because I’m sure there are a whole ton that I forgot. Those are the main ones that stuck in my head but let me know and then we could all squeal together over our favorite video games. For the TL;DR that Martina did by herself about animes, mangas, and manhwas, we had an amazing comment section there. It felt like we were with our people. I think we had something like 70 thousand million billion comments about everybody’s favorite animes. Martina wound up asking you a question about a manga that she couldn’t remember the name for, the answer was Black Alice. Thank you to the 7,000 people who gave that answer. If you want to have a gigantic reading list that will last you for the rest of your life, make sure you check out the comments for both the blog post and the Youtube video because there are so many awesome recommendations from people who are really passionate about the topic as well.

Now if you don’t mind, now that I’m done filming I’m gonna go back to playing Child of Light which is a really really gorgeous game. Like wow. That is some beautiful artwork there. So I’m gonna stop talking because I wanna go play. Goodbye. I’m gonna stop..

[nanalikessurveys]

The Home Life Do you like to sleep in? Sure

Is your bathroom fairly clean or quite untidy? It’s pretty clean, maybe some clutter her and there

Do you stack dishes in the sink or try to wash as you go? I stack them which is a habit i hate lol

How often do you vacuum and dust? I vacuum couple times a week usually but i don’t dust that often

How often do you change the sheets on your bed? Not often enough

If you have kids, do you pack lunches or send lunch money?

I don’t have kids

Do you have at least one ‘family meal’ at the table together? I live alone so i almost always eat alone. and i usually eat sitting on my sofa lol

Do you live with family, roommates, alone or with a significant other? Alone

Do you have pets, and if so, what kind? I have two cats

The Job Where do you work? I don’t have a job

What do you do there? -

Do you more enjoy or dread going there? -

Do you think you’ll keep this job for a long time? -

Do you get along well with your co-workers? -

Do you ever hang out with them outside of work? -

How would you describe your boss? -

Have you ever been “written up” for something? -

What’re the best things about your job? -

The Family Are you close to your immediate family? Yeah i’m really close to them

Do you know all of your cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.? Yes, i don’t have that many

Are you adopted? No

If so, have you thought to or tried to find your biological parents?

-

Do you have children, and if so, how many and how old? -

Do you think you have a “black sheep” in your family and who? No

Do any diseases run in your family? High blood pressure

Are you related to anyone famous in any way, and if so, who and how? No

Which family member are you closest to? My mom

The Entertainment What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past year? I have no idea, i know so many good movies

What sort of TV shows do you like? Crime/true crime shows

Who are some of your favorite bands? I don’t really listen to bands, but if i do i listen to Coldplay

Do you play Wii Guitar Hero, etc.? No

How much of a computer geek are you? I wouldn’t call myself that

Do you or have you ever written fan fiction? No

Do you like to play or watch any sports and which? I did artistic gymnastics and dance for a long time, they are still really important hobbies to me even tho i don’t do them that much anymore

The Random Do you think weed should be legal and why or why not? I don’t have opinions on this, i haven’t really made any research

If someone offered you ten thousand dollars to live in a tent for a year, would you? Sure

It’s a throw down with you and Bobby Flay. - What do you make to win? I don’t know what this is

Are you sick of the Geico commercials? Never seen them