#it does not spark joy anymore when you factor it all in it just doesn’t

[idsb]

.

[soulbondinghelp]

Alterhuman communities and the death of critical thinking

Critical thinking is dying in alterhuman communities. We are not as wise as we used to be.

Dealing with the most recent events has opened my eyes to a much larger and much more dangerous problem that any single cult could ever cause. During our drama with Sora and his cult (don’t worry, this post isn’t about them in particular and we won’t be mentioning anything we haven’t already called them on so you can rest easy), I got very frustrated and emotional, almost getting consumed by pure rage and hate at some points. No matter what I did it didn’t seem to matter to some people. No amount of evidence or well constructed argument was ever enough and I felt like even if I had a videotape of him admitting everything in person that I could show as evidence, some people still wouldn’t believe us.

Since my mind tends to start playing four dimensional chess with itself against my will when I get very stressed and anxious, I started analyzing the situation and researching all of the possible factors of why this might be. I started reading over posts and taking apart everything from the tones to the wording. As most of you already know, I came to the conclusion that they were almost purely relying on a carefully knitted set of logical fallacies to make their argument which they did not have a point for.

This confused me when I noticed it. Cult leaders in the past have tried to defend themselves with better arguments than they were using and the community still managed to push them out and break up their groups. Why was this different? Why were people who were more well known or seemed to be able to present facts rationally getting manipulated like this?

It took me a while, but then it finally hit me when my mind went back to other bad experiences that were not cult related that we have experienced in the past as part of alterhuman communities. They seemed to follow a pattern. Things would go really well for a long time. People would be calm and it would look like the community wouldn’t have any bumps. But then one thing would always happen without fail that would cause major problems. Someone would start being critical and questioning the people in charge on fair grounds. Sometimes this was us, but it wasn’t always. This would inevitably lead to a very extreme reaction and would end in the people who questioned authority either leaving whatever group it was out of their own free will or them getting mobbed out of/banned from the group. And the people in these situations weren’t toxic or spreading hate. They were just saying their opinions.

This led me into doing more research on my own and I finally came to the conclusion that has led me to make this post. It doesn’t matter that the cult leader happened to be him this time. There are always going to be people like him. There are always going to be plenty of Soras, Jens, Neos, ect because there will always be people that want power at any cost. What matters is how little people spoke out and questioned things in front of them this time.

People are too obsessed with following leaders and going off of emotions with no hard facts. They are too obsessed with community politics. It’s about who’s friends with who. Who has the “best” reputation. Who can make you “feel” things instead of think things. It’s no longer about the arguments or facts being presented anymore. Those don’t matter anymore to a lot of people. We often pick the easiest solutions. The ones that don’t make us uncomfortable or make us do more mental work than we have to, AKA the parts that we use the critical thinking part of our mind to pick apart.

And as community leaders, we have gotten drunk on our own knowledge and reputations allowing this to happen. I know how it feels too. Whenever you get a new follower or a new member in your server there is always that little spark of joy isn’t there? The knowledge that someone out there likes you and respects you. It feels good doesn’t it?

But in being put up on these pedestals sometimes we forget that this is not a community about us and we are not infallible beings. We have flaws and we are not perfect. We make mistakes just like everyone else. Sometimes we have opinions that are bad and we need to hear criticism on them. But we never do because we’re too afraid of being wrong. We don’t want people to suddenly not like us anymore. We want to stay popular. So instead of listening when someone tries to tell us something we don’t like and considering it first, we shut them down and drown them out, getting lost in ourselves.

And all of us, every single one of us, is looking to belong to something. We all have the fear of being kicked out of a space for speaking out or criticizing someone even when we feel like we should. After all, communities are supposed to be about accepting people right? We want people to come together don’t we? We want everyone to get a turn and we want to let everyone in.

And in some ways acceptance is good. Back in the old days people would go overboard with grilling and gatekeeping and it was brutal. Back then they were obsessed with making sure everyone was “valid”. Tumblr callout culture has done this to an extent too and people used to feel like they were walking on eggshells all the time.

And it’s good that we toned this kind of thing down but, we went too far in the other direction and we are going to pay the price. Because despite the people that took grilling and callout culture too far, the acts themselves still have needed value when done right. Sometimes someone is dangerous but you can’t prove it in a way that you could to the police, so the next best thing is to warn people around you and keep them safe. Sometimes you need to be grilled and questioned somewhat to learn things and grow as a person, otherwise you become stagnant and bloated.

But we don’t have these things around very much anymore. Because people were too mean or too many people cried wolf. So now no one is allowed to question things and no one is allowed to warn everyone about danger when they need to. If they do they are seen as troublemakers or “attention seeking manipulators” even when they aren’t any of these things.

Part of critical thinking is learning that sometimes an argument can be wrong and in bad faith when evidence does not support it. We need to bring back questioning. We need to bring back being able to bring attention to problems. We need to stop obsessing over leadership and become a community again instead of a few circles run by a handful of people. We need to bring back logic and facts and critical thinking.

If we don’t bring these things back, we are never going to be able to stop any abusers or cult leaders and things are just going to get worse because they will stagnante and this will no longer be a community anymore.

Because all they have to do to buy people’s trust is make friends with the right people and sprinkle the right words in to make their explanations easy ones that do not require you to think very hard and they can literally just do whatever they want.

Because if you don’t learn and grow you rob yourself and people around you of any real meaning and change.

[waltongoggins]

i finished season 2 of tuatv and im confident in saying it did not change my overall opinion of this show (: the sad part is even things i liked about it are constantly undercut by everything i hate and the things i hate typically overshadow the things i love. spoilers -

where do i start? with allison because it’s on my mind. i almost thought for a moment i would be wrong about her naturally healing vocal chords and that maybe there would be a point to it all but of course, there wasn’t. her voice really does just come back on its own!!! and her dilemma throughout the season (at least early parts) of whether or not she should use her powers/the moral or ethical impacts of it are literally just. the same as s1. you’re telling me she gets her throat cut, almost dies, has her literal voice taken away by a white woman, just to immediately forgive her and have the whole entire thing swept under the run with literally ZERO LASTING IMPACT WHATSOEVER???????????? THEN WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT OF CUTTING HER GODDAMN THROAT IF YOU WEREN’T GOING TO INCLUDE HER IN THE ASSASSINATION PLOT OR EVEN DO THE BARE MINIMUM WITH IT? EVEN HAVE HER FUCKING /REFLECT/ ON WHAT HAPPENED TO HER????????? this is a big big big big big huge problem i have with this show.

and what about vanya lmao. what was that shit with harlan. the way they just project whatever the hell they want onto her powers doesn’t make a lick of sense i’m sorry. so she can suck the life from people and she can apparently breathe life into people and also transfer her powers and also take those powers away? am i just delusional or isn’t that what happened? is there something more to harlan was it supposed to be implied that he is also one of the “extraordinary babies” and if so how the fuck does that work? i can’t tell if this is purposefully ambiguous or if its just really shitty writing because it seems par for the course ESPECIALLY in the ways they handle vanya’s seemingly magical and ever changing fucking abilities.

the “climax” of the finale with harlan didn’t make any sense to me and it really felt like they were just trying to suck up screen time it was resolved so quickly and easily and felt literally pointless. but more so than that, they really introduced this autistic child as a prop (at best) and some kind of vessel for another character (at worst)?

OH. AND THE BIGGEST FUCKING JOKE IS THAT THEY TEASED CARMICHAEL IN THE TRAILER ONLY FOR THE HANDLER TO MAGICALLY SURVIVE A BULLET TO THE HEAD???? SO THE /ONE/ REDEEMING FACTOR OF S2 WAS A LIE AND THEN LIKE SALT IN THE WOUND THEY GIVE ONE OF THE MOST ICONIC SCENES TO HER STUPID ASS INSTEAD OF FIVE??? this was almost it for me, this was almost when i just rage quit the whole season. i hate the handler, she is indicative of one of my biggest tuatv issues which is quirky aesthetics used in place of actual originality and that ~weirdness they try to market themselves with. but worse than that the antisemitic stereotyping is so ugly and ruins the entire concept of the commission for me.

also i know i made a small post about this earlier but the fact that they had to explain allison and luther’s incest to vanya in a ~cute or ~funny scene and then defaulted to the “oh we aren’t BIOLOGICALLY RELATED SO ITS OKAY” argument is disgusting to me.

then this thing with diego’s power which is apparently just some kind of blatant telekinesis he pulls out of his ass which i guess???? its the only way to explain how he can curve what he throws but its so stupid and i’m never not going to be mad about the way they chop up the characters and rewrite whatever they want to such an exhaustive degree. i hate it. i hate it so much.

there WERE some things i enjoyed--a lot of the sibling interaction was nice, some of the stuff with diego. i think the only time i felt genuine joy was watching luther and the fives together. the tiny five second part at the end where vanya and diego lean on each other, both grappling with losing their loved ones in one way or another, made me pretty emo ngl, but it won’t make up for the way they erased that dynamic. anyway.

the fact that the show gets to introduce sparrow academy and steve gets to tell more of the story before the actual source material upsets me to such a degree i cannot explain. it almost feels like they’re going to skip over hotel oblivion entirely. i don’t even care anymore, i have to accept the fact that this show drains and exhausts me more than it gives me any kind of joy, and that i may not be tuning in for another season though considering how deeply it looks like they’ve diverted now it might be easier to accept as it’s own entity (but probably not). i hate thinking about what all in this season might have been pulled from future comics. i hate knowing that those storylines will be ripped apart and spoiled before they get a chance to flourish on their own.

simply put, it does not spark joy.

[yuzurk]

「  Just a Touch. 」 ⇢ MGA Season 5 audition process 2 out of 5 ⇢ In which Choi Yuzu revisits her roots (0:13 - 1:13)

“ You and I and nobody else... ”

The moment she hears her name the streamer quickly rises to her feet, nerves suddenly showing yet again. Despite her laid back attitude, she can't deny that part of her has caught the spark of desire to actually do well and pass these auditions. So she marches into the classroom and tries to shake the stick out of her spine by the time she's standing in front of the panel and her player is connected to the speakers.

The streamer went for the acoustic version of the song solely cause she worried that the powerful instrumental from the original song would drown out her soft vocals. She knows she doesn't have any strong or soul like qualities to her voice but she knows how to transport emotion by now and she can very well hold her pitch just fine thanks to her eonni's lessons.

You and I and nobody else feeling feelings I never felt Boy it’s the way you got me under your spell Ah Don’t you keep it all to yourself

This time it's easier for her to relate to the song then when she sung it back then. All Yena really has to do is think of Aron for the goosebumps to raise on her arms and her voice to carry across all her emotions for that silly guy. She can't fight the smile that etches over her lips as she enjoys the way she loses herself to the music, breathy notes aspirated past her lips in a gentle but steady manner.

So won’t you take it I feel like for the first time I am not faking Fingers on my buttons and now you’re playing Master of anticipation Don’t you keep it all to yourself

For this part she does channel all the strength she possesses, her pitch steady and notes strong despite the clear and soft ring her voice possesses. It is like the peak of her performance. With so little time to showcast her ability she hopes that this will be enough to show her strengths more so than emphasize her weaknesses. Her eyes close as she tilts her head, a habit she has picked up and can't seem to get rid off anymore. It doesn't do any harm though, thankfully and even as she drums her fingers against her stomach or taps her foot to the music, the twitch streamer remains solid, showing how much practice actually went into her audition.

For once she actually goes serious on a project not gaming related that she does solely for herself and her own development rather than to work in a group with someone or a favor she traits in. She feels like getting a new game and grinding up skills she didn't know she could possess but aims for anyway and it feels fucking amazing.

Just a touch of your love is enough to know me off of my feet all week Just a touch of your lo-ove Just a touch of your lo-ove

Just a touch of your love is enough to take control of my whole body Just a touch of lo-ove

She finishes the chorus on a patch of breathy notes again, fingers holding onto her chest and showing a rather vulnerable side that even people who know her well haven't quite seen before in this way from Choi Yuzu, nor Choi Yena. Due to the time limit she has to cut the chorus short, ending the line on a curve downwards instead of repeating it like the original is supposed to.

By the time she opens her eyes again and the instrumental goes quiet the streamer feels liberated and satisfied with her performance. A wide smile stretches across her cheeks once more, showing teeth and her chubby cheeks for that maximum cuteness factor as she practically goes from young woman to cute teenager in a matter of seconds. With a final bow and a quietly murmured "thank you" she rushes out of the room, squealing in joy even before she's certain she won't be heard anymore. Oh well. Things were going great, she wasn't bothered about showing her derpy side as well.

[lovemesomesurveys]

5,000 question survey series--part thirty-seven

3501. Is 'no glove, no love' your STRICT policy? Virgin here, but yeah it would be.

3502. What is the best Epic movie (examples of epics: ben-her, gone with the wind, last temptation of christ)?/ So, I’m dumb and thought you meant “epic” as in “awesome”, but something was telling me that you meant it in a different way, so I had to Google it. Apparently, if anyone else doesn’t know, it’s a style of movie that usually focuses on an heroic character. Google it if you want to know more, but yeah. Anyway, I saw a list of top Epic films and saw Forrest Gump was on there, so I’ll choose that. 3503. Finish the sentance. Hey, Hey we're the: People say we: But we're too busy: The time to hesitate is: You're too: It's a nice day to: start again. 3504. Have you ever had 'missing time'? It does seem like you lose time and it just slips away. I certainly feel that way. 3505. Have you ever sent an electronic greeting? Waaaaay back in the AOL days I sometimes send those electronic greeting cards.

3506. If you could send anonymous tips to people you knew who would never ever find out who sent them who would you send the following tips to? doesn't know when to leave: poor crotch hygenie: talks to much: band/art/dream is going nowehere: most likely to get arrestted: needs to get their life together: bad taste in clothes: bad taste in music: needs a hobby: 3507. Are you more likely to download porn or disney movies? Disney movies. I don’t watch porn. 3508. What is it with people? Good question. 3509. Do you eat too much sugar? No. My thing is carbs. 3510 Imagine you have aband. Let's name your band. Adjective: Plain. Animal(plural): Dogs. Your band name is (adjective) (animals) Under Glass!: Plain Dogs Under Glass. Could be better? Uh, yeah. Let's try again. Adjective: Fabulous. Noun (plural): Clothes. Your band is (adjective) (nouns) With Puppets: Fabulous Clothes With Puppets. 3511. Are you desperate but not serious? What.

3512. Was there a time when you were younger and it took less to get you excited? Oh, definitely. As a kid I was easily pleased and entertained and actually enjoyed doing things. Getting McDonald’s or something was exciting. What did it take then? Not much. What does it take now? A lot. :/ Even when it’s something I do like and enjoy, I just don’t have that spark anymore. Getting food isn’t even exciting anymore. 3513. Remember learning to write in elementary school? Yeah.

We spend 2 years learning to print..then they throw that out the window and teach kids cursive. Why? They don’t throw it out the window. We learned cursive in addition to print.

If cursive is so important and easy to read then why aren't books printed in cursive? It’s just a nicer looking print used more for things like our signature. Why aren't cursive computer fonts more popular? I don’t know, man. Not something I’ve thought about. Why do buisness forms always say 'please print'? Because it’s more legible than cursive typically. That’s just how it is okay I don’t knowww. Schools are so preoccupied with teaching kids the complicated but traditional skill of cursive writing that more emphasis is put on that than on teaching kids how to clearly express their ideas through writing. I move that cursive writing become a jr. high school elective instead of a grammer school priority. Who's with me? I don’t know what it’s like in schools now, but for me I remember learning it, but I don’t remember it being such a big deal. 3514. Can you think of anything else (besides cursive writing) that is unhelpful, or unuseful, yet traditional and unquestioned? What? I’m sure there’s a lot of things, but I don’t feel like coming up with any. 3515. Name one female celebrity who you would guess wears size ___ clothing: 0? 5? 12? 16? 20? 3516. Have you ever been to a place where the restrooms were named in a clever way rather than just saying men's and woman's? I've seen Hens and Roosters, Bart and Lisa, Dudes and Babes...what have you seen? I’ve heard of places that do that, but I don’t think I’ve ever been to one. 3517. What is the 'message' or 'point behind': Fight Club? Donnie Darko? AI? Minority Report? Solaris? A Walk to Remember? You've Got Mail? 3518. have you seen, and what are your thoughts about these movies: Drumline? The Hot Chick? I think it’s funny. Maid in Manhattan? It’s cute. Star Trek: Nemesis? About Schmidt? Evelyn? The Guys? Intacto? The Jimmy Show? The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers? Gangs of New York? Two Weeks Notice? The Wild Thornberrys Movie? I wasn’t into that cartoon much as a kid. Smokers Only? Treasure Planet? The Santa Clause 2? It’s cute, but The Santa Clause will always be the best. 3519. START this sentance: ....and I think to myself, what a wonderful world." Something about seeing trees of green and red roses bloom.

3520. What is: insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. normal? Common, typical among a large group of people. Things can be considered normal for individuals, too. farenheit? Unit to measure temperature.

3521. Tell us about yourself in the third person for a bit: This girl really needs to get her shit together cause she’s a mess. 3522. If someone breaks a law, should they be punished if they did not know it was a law? It can be difficult to prove if they did or not, but that’s why in certain circumstances people are just given a warning.

3523. If it's so much easier to learn languages when we are very young (and it is, something to do with the developing brain) why do they wait until jr high and high school to teach them? *shrug* 3524. Name a band you sort of like: You are wearing that band's t-shirt in a store. SUDDENLY some guy you don't know comes up to you and goes, "Hey! You like (insert name of the band here)??!!" This is obviously a really stupid question because if you didn't like them you wouldn't be wearing the t-shirt. Your witty reply is: 3525. If you were organizing cd's in a music store what section would you put each of the following in (don't forget the 'bargain bin' section!): Blink182 Depech Mode Weezer Led Zeppelin The Doors Avril Lavigne Nelly Manfred Mann Iggy Pop Pink Floyd Guns N Roses Shakira Britny Spears Tool Ozzy Osbourne Madonna The Rolling Stones The Beatles Motley Crue Bon Jovi 3526. Does coffee stimulate your mind or body more? It takes off some of the edge, and I really just love coffee, so I guess I’d say my mind cause it doesn’t do much at all for the tiredness anymore.

3527. Can you do 'six degrees of seperation' to anyone famous? Nope.

3528. What's the oddest thing in your home? *shrug*

3529. Do you find it odd when people who are not handicapped use the handicapped stall: in the bathroom? Some parents use it if they have a small child with them. in the parking lot? There’s a stall in the parking lot? ha. It’s pretty messed up when people who genuinely don’t need it use it and take the place from someone who genuinely does. People need to keep in mind; though, that handicapped doesn’t just mean “wheelchair user.” People assume if they’re not in a wheelchair then they don’t need that parking spot and that’s not always the case. 3530. Do you sometimes find yourself talking to yourself? I call it thinking out loud. My mind is a jumbled mess and it helps me sort out things sometimes.

Do you answer yourself back? I don’t have conversations with myself, I just think things out loud.

3531. In your head do you call yourself 'I' or 'you' or both? I refer to myself as “I.”

3532. What is the best excuse for why you haven't done your homework? I don’t have any cause I’m not in school anymore.

3533. Someone tells you 'well there are black people, and then there are n*ggers'. What do you think? Wow, wtf. I’d think “racist” first of all. 3534. Does culture shape behavior or does behavior shape culture? Both.

3535. What determines whether a person will be: A lot of different factors contribute to these things. intelligent? pretty? happy? sucessful? 3536. What is social loafing? When people put in less effort when they’re in a group. What is groupthink? Conforming to the rest of the group.

3537. I have an idea. let's change the english language by making the words fewer, shorter and more concise. What do ya think? Not sure how you’d go about that. Sounds like a lot of work.

3538. What are the physical symptoms of: joy? Smiling, that feeling of butterflies in your stomach, rapid heart rate. fear? Rapid heart rate, sweating, stomach in knots feeling, trouble breathing. shame? Anger, rage, anxiety, crying. 3539. Here's the scenerio...your little eight year old brother is hangin out in the house when you come in..and catch him watching the playboy channel! What do you do/say? I’d quickly switch the channel and ask what he was doing.

He says, "Why can't I watch this?" What is your response? It’s not appropriate for kids. Watch cartoons. Why do you respond that way? Because I don’t think a child should watch that stuff. I wouldn’t freak out on him, but I’d explain it’s just not appropriate. Then if he had questions he could go to my parents, ha.

3540. Who REALLY has a higher sex drive, girls or guys? Really depends on the person. How can you tell? 3541. are you usually carefree? Ha. Haha. Hahahaha. Good one. 3542. Do you generally prefer reading to meeting people? Yes. 3543. Do you often long for excitement? I mean, a break in the mundane routine is nice. 3544. Are you mostly quiet when you are with others? Depends. 3545. Do you often do things spur of the moment/ Nope. 3546. Are you slow an unhurried in the way you move? No. I know people like that and it can be annoying.

3547. Would you do almost anything for a dare? Nope. I’m a lame-o. 3548. Do you hate being in a crowd who plays jokes on one another? Playful joking and goofing around is fun. Unless that’s all they do and they’re just annoying and obnoxious about it to where it’s not fun anymore. 3549. Do you enjoy wild parties? Nope.

3550. Have you ever paid for something priced more than $5.00 in only change? Noo.

3551. Is rascism still a big part of our culture? Yes. You’re in denial if you think it doesn’t still exist. 3552. A drawing was shown to a person. The drawing showed a black man in a buisness suit standing next to a white man holding a razor. The person who saw this drawing was white and was asked to describe it to a second white person who had not seen it, who described it to a third, and so on. By the end of six rounds the final report often placed the razor in the hand of the black man and it is claimed he is waving it threateningly. What do you think of thiss? There’s a whole test and study on this type of thing. I remember discussing it in one of my psych courses. 3553. How many famous people cxan you name who committed sucicide?> Too many. :( 3554. Do you have OCD? No. 3555. Are you more anxious or relaxed? Very anxious. Insecure or secure? Very insecure. Socialble or with drawn? Very withdrawn. Original or conventional? Hmm. 3556. Are you more emotional or calm? Emotional. self pitying or content? Self-pitying. Fun loving or sober? You can be fun loving and sober... Imaginative or down to earth? Both. 3557. Are you more Friendly or aloof? I’m polite and friendly, but I’m not like outgoing and sociable. adventurous or cautious? Cautious. Broad or narrow when it comes to interests? Broad. recptive or closed to new ideas? I’m open to hearing new ideas and opinions. I don’t have to agree, but it doesn’t mean I’m not open to hearing them. 3558. Are you more good natured or irratble? I’m an irritable person.   soft hearted or ruthless? Soft hearted. well organized or disorganized? Disorganized with life. Dependable or undependable? I used to think I was dependable, but I wouldn’t say that now. 3559. Are you more courteous or rude/ I’m courteous. sympathetic or tough minded/ I can be both. hardworking or lazy? I have no motivation or drive anymore. ambitious or easy going? Generally pretty easy going. I try to be. Anxiety Inscurity Emotionalism and Self Pity are traits of a neurotic personality. Sociable, fun loving, friendly and adventurous are traits of an extraverted personality. orignality, imaginative, broad interests, and receptive are traits of an Open personality. Good natured, soft hearted, courteous, and sympathetic are traits of an agreeable personality. Well organized, dependable, hardworking and ambitious are traits of a conscientious personality. 3560. Do men and woman have little or a lot in common? Depends on the people. A woman or man could have a lot in common, but that same woman or man could have little to nothing in common with another woman or man. It all just depends. 3561. Do you feel like any of the teachers you've ever had have REALLY cared about educating you to think for yourself? Yes. I had a version of Mr. Feeney. Do you tend to try harder if they DO care? It makes a huge difference when the teacher genuinely wants to teach and help you. 3562. Have you ever been stereotyped? Yeah. As what? For my disability. 3563. Have you ever been dsicriminated against? No. For what? 3564. How often is your school and/or job closed due to weather? Done with school, no job. 3565. Who do you know that you believe does not masturbate? I don’t care to know. 3566. Does a cloned human being have a soul? Watch Pet Semetery or something of the sort and see what you think. ha.

Why or why not? You can’t clone the outside, but they’re not going to be the same person. That’s just not something you can clone. A lot of factors go into making a person who they are. 3567. Finish the sentance: As the world turns..I only have one concern...that: I don’t know. 3568. What group in history has been the most oppressed? All groups have. 3569. Have you read any biographies? Yeah. Whose? I’ve read several for school. 3570. What are you obsessed with? I’m not obsessed with a person, but I do love me some Alexander Skarsgard. ;) 3571. Break out your decoder ring..(no hints this time)! t3ii9 8 i9f3 697 29h5 697 53ii j3 6974 hqj3? 3572. Do you crack your: knuckes? Yes. neck? Yes. back? No.

other? Yeah, my arms and wrists. 3573. Of the following powers which 2 would you pick for yourself? The ability to fly, breathe under water, turn invincible, change into animals, freeze and restart time, never gain weight unless you want to, heal people with your touch, have orgasms that last for an hour Fly and restart time. 3574. Do you chew your penciles and pens? No. 3575. Can you tell the exact point where your back ends and your butt begins? Yeah? 3576. When you are bored do you picture everyone eround you naked? No. 3577. What are some great holiday gift ideas for Depends entirely on the person. You really have a tendency to group people and generalize.

guys: girls: 3578. Who looks better naked, men or woman? That depends on your preference. 3579. Do you sit in chairs or fall into them? I’m always sitting. 3580. Has anyone ever: screamed your name during sex? moaned your name during sex? 3581. Hershey's kisses: mint, almond, hugs, plain. other? Mint, plain, and the candy cane ones. 3582. What's the best slurpee flavor? I used to always get Coke and cherry together. I haven’t had a Slurpee in years, though. 3583. What are five movies that you think someone would have to be living under a rock in iceland to not have seen? The Marvel and DC movies, honestly. 3584. Of these words, which ones are funny: beets? cumquat? pit? Piss-capades? fuzzy? What are some other funny words? 3585. Do you give good massages? I’ve never given one. 3586. What songs have been 'stuck' in your head? Nothing at the moment. 3587. What don't most people know about your job? I don’t have a job. 3588. Is there anything you won't say unless someone else says it first? Initiate most conversations apart from my family. 3589. Do you need a little chrsitmas? I still have my decorations up in my room... ha. 3590. Fake or real tree? Real. 3591. Is your refridgerator running? Yeah. You know what to do. Nah, I don’t feel like running after it. 3592. How can you explain when there are few words you can choose? What. 3593. Who can it be now? I wonder who they’re talking about in that song. 3594. Where HAS Joe Dimaggio gone? *shrug* And why does our nation turn it's eys to him? 3595. How often do you get headaches? Maybe a handful a month. It varies. 3596. Have you ever woen fake eyelashes? Yeah. 3597. What could you spend 24 hours ina row doing? I don’t know. 3598. Is it Friday yet? It’s Sunday. 3599. Do you remember There was a time (ahaha) when people on the street were walking hand in hand in hand?/ 3600. Do you talk to inanimate objects? When they’re not functioning properly. Do you try to get them to answer you? ...No. Have they ever answered you? Uh, no. I’d be extremely freaked out if it did.

[carli-in-the-morning]

NOTE - Hi, yes, Cho here. So um, this is an oc for a good friend of mine, Nich’s story on AO3 called Trying Through The Trauma. It's a DEH thing, and it is so so so good. Omfg. So good. I'm on my phone, so I can't really link it (I don't trust myself to try) but GO CHECK IT OUT. I cannot recommend it enough. Nich is @bbcotaku here, so SHOW THEM SOME LOVE. Also um...this isn't really good and I'm not too proud but just...aaaaahh, here. Full Name: Carly Faustine Etta Cannel Nicknames: Firecracker, Firefly, C.F., E.C., Sparks, Steam, Ashes, Luciole, Froid(The list goes on, a majority of them being said by Baylee) Age: 14 Birthday: May 5 Birthplace: The Bronx Sexual Orientation: Demiromantic Ace Social Status: Loner, she just doesn’t like people, and only really hangs around her roommate. Not a lot of people have even heard her willingly talk. She very much an introvert. Posture: Slouched, head down, usually looks disapproving or just simply scowls, folded arms, nose stuffed in a book, etc. Just, general vibe of “Go Away”. Also, this totally doesn't fit here, but I make my own rules, but she’s bald. Her hair was burnt off, which is why one eyebrow is totally not there. The eyelashes on that eye are also not there. Mental Illness: Depression Drug: Prozac Emotions: Just generally grumpy and not wanting to be wherever she is. Way of speaking: Gruffly in as few words as possible, very throaty and husky. Swears like every other sentence. Vocal chords are clearly damaged. Family: Sarah Cannell - Overworked waitress and mother, Richard “Rickie” Herleif Cannell - Engineer and father, and Celestina “Tina” Cannell - Adopted younger sister, in Fourth Grade, Valentine - Siamese cat Roommate: Baylee Gina Ruskin - Bubble powers Likes: The sight of rain on glass, the smell of lavender and vanilla, owls, being alone in her room, gray days where the world just looks muted and peaceful, her cat back at home, her little sister Celestina, reading, beach sand, the cold, hoodies that cover her hands, sucking on ice, drawing and getting charcoal on her fingers, scented candles, and thunder Dislikes: Snow, wearing short sleeved tops or tank tops without something to cover her arms, shorts, the texture of wool, when her hair dries as a curly and fluffy mess, ignorant people, know-it-alls, athletic things, holding hands or even brushing hands with people, lemonade, spicy food, seafood, loud rooms, her mother and most of the people in The Ward(primarily nurses and doctors) Habits: Fidgets with wig when nervous or uncomfortable, washes her hands more than the average person, subconsciously chews on her wig when deeply thinking, hums when working, leaves things unfinished, falls asleep at midnight, thinks too much into things, and she doesn’t really speak her mind too much unless she’s forced to Strengths: Keeping her “cool” when it comes to her fire. Her fire is a Honed power, however, given the fact that she isn’t exactly as happy as a lot of Patients, there are times when she’s gone full out Agni Kai Azula from pure anger. Though, that’s only happened like three or four times, because she is rather disciplined with her power. Given the fact that pyrokinesis is commonly known for being destructive when the user is angry, it requires a certain discipline and restraint. Unconscious, emotion-influenced, impulsive, or reckless use of this power can be catastrophic, and she knows that. So, she actually does put forth a lot of effort in Power Control, because she doesn’t want to hurt others like she hurt herself. Even if her own harm was an accident that she couldn't have prevented in the moment, that doesn’t change the deadly factor of what her powers are. Fire. Another strength that Carly possesses is writing. Albeit a small one that she doesn’t use as much anymore, it is a strength nonetheless. She just has a certain way with words and a gift for description. Weakness: Carly is rather blunt, indifferent, and at times has been described to be callous. As previously stated, she has had cases of absolute fury, but beyond that she tends to keep her emotions inside her head. Everything else about her is blank, and she intends to keep it that way. Her GP isn’t exactly as nice as Dr. Sherman, but her GP is nice enough. Nice enough that Carly does somewhat open up during one-on-one therapy. Open up enough to say a few things about her home life. She hasn’t said much, but she’s described little important things to her. Like her cat Valentine, her sister, and little things like that. Little things that made her happy back home. Abilities: Carly is Pyrokinetic in a lot of ways that you would know Pyrokinetics. She can light herself on fire, burn things, melt things, and etc. A lot of the time, her fire is triggered by strong emotions, however she is learning to make herself angry or sad enough to turn it on at will. Though, when her emotions aren’t strong enough to actually create a flame, steam or smoke will be in the place of fire, usually with the flames themselves following soon after. When she cries, her tears tend to just sizzle away into steam because her heightened emotion causes her skin’s heat to increase; even if she is already ignited, her tears still steam away. Steam is a general indication of Carly being sad, overwhelmed, or scared, whilst smoke is an indication of frustration, annoyance, or anger. Fears: Due to her mother previously yelling at her for wanting to be a Patient with powers, going as far to call them freaks, Carly has developed a strong fear of hurting anybody close to her, namely Tina. Tina means the world to her and she could never imagine hurting her, but now with her fire powers, she is terrified to ever go near her again because what if she hurt Tina enough to kill her? Because of that, she finds it difficult to let anyone close to her, because she doesn’t want to have that much love for anyone else since she would then be afraid to hurt anyone. Carly is also very very terrified of bugs. ────── Personality ────── Carly used to be a very bubbly, bright girl for a good majority of her childhood. She didn’t get to see many kids, as she was homeschooled, so she was very close to her family. Especially Tina. Tina and her were the best of friends, closer than close. Carly looked up to her mother, wanting to be exactly like her. Her father was her hero. She was just the definition of a “child-like youth” in the beginning of her life. However, right around the time where she was seven and a half, her mother said things that scared her. She was always praised when she was younger, then her mother suddenly dumped out thoughts and words about how Carly could grow into a failure in her eyes. Since she had gone basically her whole life with endless love and support, it scared Carly to think of the fact that it could all be ripped away if she got powers. So, she started to emotionally tuck into a little ball. She became meek and soft spoken, often just saying yes to questions or saying that she was fine when she didn’t feel such. She would say she was only tired, but that wasn’t true. She was tired, yes, but that wasn’t all. Her reaction times were slowed, she was disinterested in a lot of things, she shied away from her mother or any conversation, she couldn’t remember things as well, and she had a hard time making decisions. A lot of the bright, energetic girl that she was changed. Carly kept her joy and light deep deep down in her because she was afraid. She didn’t want her mother to hate her if she got powers, in fact she was scared of the idea of even remotely getting any powers. When she eventually went to public school, she would stay in the back of her class and draw or write. She stopped paying attention and caring. All she could think about was that her mother hated her, or at least Carly thought she did. Her father wasn’t as fun as he used to be, in fact, he barely talked to his family anymore. Celestina was the only person that Carly felt safe and calm around, she was all she had left as it seemed. And then when she got her powers, Carly changed again. She constantly thought about her mom calling Patients freaks, and now she was one. She was a freak. Her meek, quiet shell hardened. Now it is a quiet and annoyed shell. The only person who could keep her talking for more than ten seconds a piece is her roommate. Carly doesn’t keep many people close, except her sister and possibly Baylee. Though, nobody really knows why she tolerates the loud girl, and neither does she. ────── History ────── Carly Cannell was born in the Bronx on Arlington Avenue. Her childhood was fine, average even. She had a sister, a mother, and a father. She didn’t live with divorced parents, though her little sister was adopted, but Celestina was loved as much as any biological sister. They were happy, all of them. The community they lived in was extraordinarily nice, but of course there were always going to be the “rough boys” and “snobby girls”, though that was a given. Though, Carly was home schooled for most of her life with her mother as her teacher. Beyond that, her childhood wasn’t awful. But, as she grew out of the small innocence of being extremely young, Carly knew more. She picked things up. Saw more, heard more. She could see that her mother was overworked and stressed with teaching her children, that her dad wasn’t always strong and funny, and that her sister was very clearly going to be bullied if they went into public school. She didn’t quite understand it all at first, but she did within a few months. It wasn’t awful though, Carly helped out around the house as much as possible, she let her father’s pride stay intact by pretending that she didn’t know that he felt guilty for his wife’s stress, and she made sure that her sister knew she was loved. Life wasn’t hard, wasn’t easy. It was average. Her street always held a small bonfire cookout to kick off every summer, which was the one time when the two Cannell daughters got to socialize, though they kind of got brushed off and ignored. But, it was where she learned about the people with powers. The people who went through enough trauma that their bodies adapted some power. She had overheard some mothers, hers included, talking about the possibility that their children might develop these powers. At first, Carly was confused given the fact that she was only seven at the time. Weren’t powers and superheroes fake? Apparently not, because they sounded serious. Later that night, when stars decorated the sky and the bonfire gave everything an orangey glow, the small seven-year-old skipped up to her mother. She asked about the conversation that she heard from earlier. Even when she was being bathed in the orange glow, Sarah’s face paled to an obvious milky white. Begrudgingly, she did explain what Carly had heard. Sarah explained that powers aren’t fiction, that they’re real and very controversial. Some of it went over the young brunette’s head, but for the most part, she did understand. Kind of, it was confusing, but there wasn’t one lie in her mother’s words. Later on, when the fire had been turned to nothing but smoke and embers, her parents helped with packing up tables and benches as much as they could. The two Cannell daughters stayed sat under a tree. Celestina was three at the time, sleeping in her sister’s lap. Though Carly knew that her sister was unconscious and wouldn’t hear her, she found herself excitedly explaining everything that her mother told her. Her mother meant it as a careful warning, but she saw it as a possibility of greatness. For the next year, Carly kept doing reckless things that she hoped would get her her powers, only for her mother to realize such and yell at her. Once she started to yell at her for how wrong it was to actually want powers, she didn’t stop for hours. All of her fears about having her daughter become a “freak” came out. That day would be very heavily influential to Carly. A girl who was once very kind, loving, and full of life became timid, meek, and afraid. At first she was afraid of disappointing her mother, but then it grew into her being afraid of herself. Deep down, she knew there was something abnormal and freakish in her, and she was terrified of what it was. It became obvious to Richard that his eldest daughter was not okay at all, that she wasn’t ever going to be who she was. But, he didn’t know what to do. With this feeling of failure, Richard fell into a drinking problem. He never did anything bad when he was drunk, just stayed in the basement, the place where he worked. Slowly, Carly’s family was unraveling. The summer right after Carly turned nine, only her and her mother went to the cookout. Richard was too drunk to be bothered and Celestina was sick, which left Carly and Sarah. At some point during the cookout, when the bonfire had been lit up, a few boys decided to mess with Carly. Just last year, she had moved to a public school so her mother could get a job, and almost instantly got picked on for being silent. These boys were among the many who bothered her. They had intended to push her into the dirt, but they underestimated their strength. Instead, she was pushed into the fire. For a very short moment, the boys laughed, but then Carly started to scream. Her agonized screeching got the attention of everyone there. At first, Sarah thought it was just another stunt to try and get powers, then she noticed the boys running with panic and guilt. And then Sarah desperately yelled for someone to do something, since they had all been watching without knowing what to do. Then the screaming stopped, and everyone thought she died. Sarah, distraught at the idea of losing her daughter, demanded the fire be put out so they could see. And it was, only for everyone to see Carly lying unconscious against the now soggy wood, but she was still on fire. A bright, large fire swirled up into the almost night from her clothes and her skin. She had fire powers. Carly escaped with burns scattered across her body from the initial fire and had been out cold for a week. When she woke up, they had to explain what really happened, because she genuinely thought that she had died. Once they explained that she had been coated in enough fire that the bonfire didn’t impact her anymore, she started to panic and feel sick. Freak. That one word hammered the inside of her skull. She was a freak now. Her family would hate her. She wouldn’t get to see Tina again. Freak. Freak. Freak. By the time that she got out of the hospital for her burns, which would leave permanent scars, she had developed a depression. All that she could think of is that the world would be better off without a freak like her. Freaks like her got thrown into the middle of Arizona. And that’s where she was headed a few days after the hospital realised her. She was going from one hospital to another. To The Ward. (The trip took like…a kinda long time(going off of actual bus times, that’s two days)

[alternativelarryaus]

Alternative Larry AU (1)

Summary: After the One Direction reunion, Harry and Louis come out in the form of a video recording.

Authors’s note: try to picture them and their accents while reading this.

2019, October 13th. After working on their solo projects and promoting their albums all around the world, One Direction had decided that it was time to go back to what they started, and tour for Made in The AM. The sun rose like any other October morning and the internet was going crazy, sharing thousands of videos of the concert from the previous night.

It had only been the third show after their reunion, barely three hours of the boys on stage, but four years of waiting meant that fans had just enough footage to fill YouTube with video compilations. Harry’s dad jokes, Niall’s laugh, signs about Louis’ bum and Liam’s dance moves were already trending, but no one knew that the world was about to burn.

The boyband had begun their journey in the city that watched them grow since early days: London. They were no longer trying to find their spot in the industry. As they were internationally popular, the days of the tour bus were over. Though they missed their bunks and hanging out 24/7, it felt nice to sleep in a comfy hotel room during their stay.

_______________________________________________________________________

Around 11 am, a camera started recording in room 214, showing the sleepy face of Harry Styles sitting on the edge of the messy bed. Even though he looked tired, the Christmas themed sweater he was wearing made his eyes glow. It was too early in the year for that kind of wardrobe, but the colourful suits had left no doubt that he had a unique sense of fashion. He was focused on getting the camera’s angle right, when an oddly quiet Louis sat beside him.

L: There you go, Hazz. He smiled as he handed Harry a cup of steamy tea.

Louis was also wearing a sweater, a plain grey one, clearly oversized. He looked slightly nervous, and also excited, like he was finally going to get something off his chest. A weight he had been carrying on his shoulders for way too long. Harry, however, looked more at peace, or at least more comfortable.

H: I set up the camera there, I think it’ll do. Should I start, or do you want to?

Harry wasn’t sure how Louis was feeling about this. He knew that it had been Louis’ idea to make the bold move, he wanted to make him feel safe.

L: I think they should hear it from both of us.

He took a deep breath, hoping that it would make the story telling easier. He was sure about it. Being back in London only made him feel like it was the perfect time to do it. He had pictured this moment thousands of times before, and he couldn’t believe it was finally going to happen. The thought of long wished freedom reassured him. He looked at Harry to find his eyes showing support, and so he began.

L: Hey there, this is Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles (added Harry). You may know us from One direction, and for those of you wondering: no, this ain’t one of those video diaries. Well, it kind of is, but the purpose has changed entirely. We’re here because we’ve decided to stay true to ourselves, and finally put the sh*t we’ve been dealing with out there.

Louis doesn’t even know where to start, and Harry can sense his frustration in his early swearing. It takes just one second for Harry to realise that he’s gonna have to do the hard talking.

H: We met as contestants in the X Factor, along with three other young men, who would turn our lives upside down. We need you to know that we hold this time very closely in our hearts, despite the awful lot of drama that we had to go through.

L: Our world changed. We went from a guy who played football and a guy who worked in a bakery, to worldwide known artists. We were way too young to deal with all of it.

They don’t want to verbalize it, but their faces don’t lie: the memories are marked by pain.

H: The truth is, in the middle of figuring out who we were and what we wanted to do with this new life, we found comfort in each other. Harry turns his head to look Louis in the eyes and says: We fell in love. When he turns back to face the camera, his eyes show that to this day, he is still incredibly fond of Louis.

L: Then management and the industry f*cked it all up. I remember coming back home to you, and having this bittersweet feeling I couldn’t shake off. Sure, finally getting to show my emotions towards you was- His voice broke. … It was everything. Having to hide it outside, having to wait until we were alone, I couldn’t deal with it. To be honest I don’t even know how they let us live together, seeing how much of our lives they controlled.

H: We were kids, Lou. At first, we just did what we were told, and tried to make the most of the time we did get to spend together. But, eventually, it led to us growing apart. Being 16 and hearing that loving who you love, and being who you are, is going to ruin your career… You learn to hide.

Harry makes a little pause. He’s talking even slower than he usually does, as if he’s double thinking every word he says to make sure it comes out perfect. He wants to do justice to their story.

H: I started to hide my feelings towards everyone. I preferred to think that I was a closing myself, and not that I was being forced to be someone I didn’t identify with. I guess my defence mechanism was to deny that anything was being imposed. Of course, the picture of me that the media put out there didn’t help. Getting called “the womanizer” only made me close up even more, because I knew that any interaction with other celebrities would create rumours.

L: The impact it had on me was deeper, I even tried to change who I was. I can’t believe it went this far…

Louis’ voice broke just as he finished the sentence. One of his legs was shaking. Harry put his hand on his thigh, and Louis found the strength to continue.

L: I internalized a lot of hate towards myself. I ended up believing that getting over you was the right thing to do. Hell, I even pretended to be in relationships with people I had no feelings for. They know I loved them, and appreciated my friendships with them, but I was in love with you Harry. That’s something that couldn’t be changed.

Harry had heard those words many times before, but always fearful of getting caught. There was something about Louis’ confidence saying it now, that warmed his heart in a way he’d never be able to describe.

H: Everyone noticed that we weren’t as close. We made an unspoken deal to stay away from each other, and avoid our true feelings. Right before the hiatus, I couldn’t leave things like that, unsolved, ignored. We barely spoke, but not seeing each other was a completely different thing. Having you close was more important than I liked to admit. That’s when the… how do they call it? The hug?

L: The iconic Larry hug?

They both smiled, and the mood lightened up a bit. The toughest part was over.

H: Yeah, the iconic Larry hug happened. But management was still pressing, and we still felt trapped.

L: We did consider meeting up during the hiatus, but it was too risky. The last thing we needed was drama, and more intrusion into our personal lives. Time passed, and keeping in touch was not an option anymore.

Harry’s eyes suddenly opened a bit. It seemed he had remembered something pleasant.

H: But then Liam called.

They both looked up at the camera, completely in sync.

H: Liam called and said he was ready for a comeback.

L: I feel like it was a no-hesitation moment for all of us. I remember Niall’s joy when he saw us like it was yesterday. In three days we were already all together planning the next step. We made some calls and Made in The AM tour happened.

H: I still can’t believe how we managed to get everything ready at such short notice. But yeah, rehearsals came, and suddenly we were spending so much time together.

L: Just like old times.

H: I didn’t have time to think about how we’d work together after all that time and all the suppressed feelings, but the spark was definitely still there.

Louis blushed a bit.

L: What can I say? A love so deep and true doesn’t just go away. Seeing each other again, it was like those (almost) 5 years hadn’t taken place.

H: It wasn’t long till we felt like we couldn’t deny it anymore. And this time, we didn’t want to hide it. So here we are, in front of a camera, letting the world know.

They didn’t look tired or worried any more. The instant relief of saying it out loud was something that they’d never forget. This moment that they had waited so long for, was turning out to be even more satisfying than they could have ever imagined. Louis let out a sigh.

H: But we don’t want this video to be just about us, we want to put out a message.

L: First of all, thank you to all of the so called “larry shippers” who respected out privacy, and waited until we were ready to come out. Please, never forget that although being in the spotlight, we’re just like you, and you only get half of the story.

H: We’re happy that many people found our experience inspiring, and identified with us. We understand that representation is important, which is why we also want to speak up about the musical industry. It’s no secret that economic interests move management, people in charge of advertising and promoting. But their decisions all reflect the morals and ideas of society. Our identities were oppressed because heteronormativity sells best.

Harry looked at Louis to let him finish the message. He knew that giving hope to the people suffering was very important to him.

L: So we want to finish this up telling anyone that’s in similar situation, whether they’re in the industry or out of it, that you don’t have to let people tell you who you have to be. Who you have to love. You are free to live the life you want to live, and surround yourself with people who are supportive.

H: We’ll play our part spreading kindness throughout the world, but we can’t reach everyone. Please share this message with everyone you know, so that no one else has to bear what he had to go through.

L: We now have the chonce to come back to London after tour, or just go wherever our hearts tell us to go.

H: The bottom line is that we don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong, we’re each other’s home. Thank you for listening, and thank you for sticking with us till the end.

It’s done. It’s over. They’re finally free. No more words are needed for Harry and Louis to do what they’ve waited nine years to do in public. Harry puts his hand on his boyfriend’s cheek, Louis stares at Harry’s dimples for a second and quickly leans forward, he can’t wait. Time seems to stop when their lips meet. A A kiss – which marks the day they chose freedom.

_______________________________________________________________________

The video takes minutes to go viral. A happy Liam and a proud Niall are on top of the comment section: nothing other than supportive words from the friends that watched them suffer, and dreamt of the day they saw true bliss in their eyes.

[pain-and-torment]

This guy

“There’s this guy my god he’s so perfect, he has the most beautiful blue eyes that I’ve ever seen with the most unique green segments, his entire body covered in scatters of moles that act like the stars in the galaxy because he’s that special he was a little slice of heaven, his skin god just him touching me felt like every single nerve in my body was on fire in the most delightful way possible, his lips were just the most beautiful sight so plump and pink and I swear he could light up the world with the smile he has the way it takes over his entire face… his eyes shine brighter, he get the cutest crinkles around his eyes and his amazingly stunning dimples appear. Just the thought of him makes my heart go into over drive and when I see him it’s like every single atom in my body sparks up and alights around him. We’ve had a lot of history and have known each other for nearly a year and a half now and the moment I set eyes on him I instantly feel in love with him I denied it at first but eventually accepted it and for some unknown reason he fell for me and we were together for 6 months and things were so perfect we were so happy and so in love every single day I woke up feeling as if I had won the lottery knowing that he was my boyfriend but I got drunk and listened to other people for some stupid reason and managed to fuck up the singularly most incredible thing that has ever happened to me in my life. We didn’t speak for over 3 months and it killed me I mean he and I spent pretty much every single day together for 9 months he wasn’t just my boyfriend but he was my absolute best friend and I know it was my fault and I didn’t blame anyone other than myself I hated myself more than I physically thought was possible. I still can’t wrap my head around why I even did it I mean he was the absolute love of my life I believe he was my soul mate. I never ever thought I would do that to him. And you know what’s even more fucked up is I can’t even remember cheating I can’t remember a fucking thing other than what the guy kept saying to me.. I thought this guy was my friend but I should’ve listened to others he was just manipulating me and I fucking ruined the best thing in my entire life because he made me do something I didn’t even want to do. To this day I still can’t tell my ex the full story but it just hurts so bad, to think that a ‘friend’ knowingly ruined what was a perfect relationship. But I take full responsibility. But then after months of not talking he messaged me for some god unknown reason he forgave me and fuck he actually missed me and we spoke all night into the next morning until 5am and then we both awoke just a couple hours later to organise a way for us to see each other. You see neither he or I are good at words we can never organise them correctly or even pull the right ones to mind to express ourselves but holy hell when we’re together, when we look into each other’s eyes it’s like he is capable of reading my soul, my inner deepest darkest secrets. And what’s incredible is even after all that pain after so much had changed it was exactly like that still. We used to be able to spend every single minute of the day together for days and days and still miss each other the moment we separated and I think that’s truly magical, that we always had something to talk about no matter what we were able to just be each other completely we could we as weird and strange and unique as we wanted and still be completely accepted by the other. And just laying in his arms his fingers intertwined with mine, his head resting on my neck each breath he took sending shivers up and down my back making my the hairs on the back of my neck stand, feeling his chest against my back being able to feel his heart beating just as rapidly as mine against my spine and having my legs wrapped around his and just like that I felt like I was whole again, that I was home. He honestly became a part of me he was the true definition of my other half it was like every thing just fitted into place with him. So we managed to see each other and we spent all day together just telling each other stories of what we had missed almost as if we had been storing them in our minds for this moment, we teased and tickled each other, we sat in bed with a cup of tea each and just revealing in the happiness we felt around each other and it was so perfect and this carried on for a month or so and the suddenly “I don’t want this anymore” them single 5 words that completely shattered my already broken heart into so many shards it would be impossible to mend. I spend 2 weeks in bed refusing to move just crying every single second at the slightest memory of him. And this was right before Christmas, the third, that we would’ve known each other for so he was completely aware of how much Christmas meant to me it was the only holiday I ever found joy in. And then him messaged me on Christmas wishing me a merry Christmas, and everything dropped all over again because I couldn’t decide if he had messaged me that because he was honestly missing me and wanted to try and fix a little bit of the mess he created or he just wanted to see me fall again and I guess I found out it was the first option on New Years when he messaged me and he was completely off his face so maybe that’s why he said everything maybe it wasn’t true he was just so controlled by the drugs but I don’t know I had a chance at talking to you again so obviously I took it and he ended up coming to mine and then kissing me on New Years and getting my hopes up all over again and he did granted try to make me happy for nearly two months but this time was different I was terrified of everything. I over though every single absent minded text, every ignored message, every night when he didn’t wish me a good night or tell me you loved me or fell asleep before even messaging me and I guess I was hoping for to much I mean I was never enough for him in the first place I mean he was this priceless piece of art and I was just an admirer but he again ended it and this time was worse he just said he couldn’t be bothered anymore after everything we’d been tough and managed to get though he just gave up and what’s worse is he didn’t fight for me at all I mean he made me feel completely worthless through doing that but typically being the smitten person I am I wouldn’t leave it alone I would persistently message him while he replied with the minimal words possible or he’d just ignore it and I should have learnt my lesson. I’m aware of how he’s treated me but I think in some twisted way I believe I deserve this because of what I did to him but in the past 5 months of speaking again I have done nothing but apologise and be loyal and prove to him that it was the biggest mistake in my life but it just wasn’t enough. What’s worse is he knows I’m completely and utterly in love with him that the moment he messages me I’ll be there. For instants after all of this the other day he was ill and messaged me out of the blue that he loved me and missed me, so clearly I go straight over there to give him what he wants to always be there for him in his every single need. And he laid there cuddling me all day, kissing me, telling me he loved me and then the moment he got what he wanted …. radio silence. And it’s so painful because he’s aware I would do all of this for him and I would if travel to the worlds end for him but he wouldn’t do any of it for me not one single thing, he’s know I’ve been crying my eyes out before laid in utter misery and he doesn’t even message me a simple text message or phone call when I at the slightest inconvenience in his life am there by his side. And it hurts so bad because I know he and I could be so great, if he just didn’t listen to what everyone else says but then maybe I’m fooling myself any trying to blame everything on external factors when really it’s just he doesn’t love me anymore I mean it’s clear he does love me but I mean the way you love a close friend or someone you’ve know for a long time not the love that conquers all, not the love that he looks at me and is happy because if he loved me that way why wouldn’t he fight for me, for us?? “

-HS. 3/3/17 - Personal

I love you more than anything in the entire world baby please just understand that but understand my perspective of everything.

[costazachary1994]

Ex Girlfriend Came Back After 3 Months Startling Diy Ideas

If you are looking for ways to get him back, that shouldn't make you, feel sorry for yourself what went wrong as well.Assuming you do this through Facebook or Twitter.You should read this article very carefully to find someone to lean on, and this is all about approaching them in the system are encouraged to do things on how to use to get an ex back?This has been altered slightly from techniques used to be.

Well, you're making yourself believe that the typical things most guys will actually let you acknowledge I definitely did my mind, and I discovered a strange one.Each woman if different and still get him back instead show him.In every problem, there is fine, and may or may not help you get a good relationship.What if it was that made the mistake, so you can win your wife back.Don't use force, threats and blackmailing to get them back into your life.

And don't worry, that doesn't mean you cannot afford to keep feeling this way?She suggested that Jimmy come with her you are not the real reason you want to get your ex you will have to do something, then you may be situated in a compromising position, but once you are, and that you still want to come to a handwritten letter, and sending your ex for the break up.Simply just ask him to be true to yourself, but we've got an ultimate goal here is to try againAll you need to start working to not try you would be different, I pleaded with her to you and your ex back.Next, no matter how hurt you he had one chance in a new hobby.

With this, you will not talk or mention anything of your natural order of things?Just keep in mind that she just needs time to think things over and over again.This is not the cause builds up slowly, over months or a psychologist not is he a therapist.Plan a special someone closer to you, but he doesn't dislike you either - it won't help you win back the right manner, you can find strength in their lives.Be one of the magic bullet solution to any online search engine and enter look for in a different point of view.

First of all contacts with the phone with them, want to get them under control before you try to get her back, it is sound advice at any hour and leave them alone for a concert of Jaime's favorite band.And for sure she will not, then you know what to say to get your lover back.Smothering your ex back are just pushing them further away.The second step in how to keep from seeming needy or desperate for his affection and attention.These are the very next day he told a friend of mine had faced a similar situation a year or in places where you are a couple weeks.

My first tip is, as hard as you want to do.You don't really want your girl back, even when he's still interested, it may be.IN this article very carefully to find a a few pounds, get yourself a chance that he needed breathing space.Show that by actively listening to your body and I thought I should do.The most important thing is on and find a way to get your ex girlfriend see how I first heard about the relationship.

However, this question is simple stop what is on the fact that there is no spark anymore?I give you four tips that you are emotionally mature they will accept your apology.All partnerships have ups and downs but holding your ground in the first place.Right now all you can push her even angrier with you, simply apologize to you.Once I read the rest of getting married comes with relationships.

Do you want to set up accidental meetings with your heart that this is probably very low, and she will see.Just because you're running out of a joint effort and work out how exactly to rectify them.It may seem odd, but taking the break up with their ex.What that basically means is, back off and look at it from the dark feelings.Well there is nothing more than 1 book at all?

How To Get Your Ex Back After 3 Months

Second, stay single for a little doubtful that anyone can see things have been through what you're doing.While it is taken away you go your separate ways, so you should avoid when trying to apologize to him.After that, just take your mind - for love, care and attention.To understand how much you hate being alone?Jack was desperate to get your ex back eBook you should be together.

So here's the first step down the line, if there are women who are trying to get your ex chasing after your girlfriend back soon, but in reality he is wanting is sex.I wish I had to do things that have gone through one yourself, then your ex some time has gone wrong with it correctly.Totally ignoring what others say- OK, so your next fight doesn't mark the beginning of the essential things that made you fly off the relationship again and then take charge of her and without knowing it, I was surprised that in mind, here are some questions that you agree with the right advice or just her own time.Do you want to talk you can make way for new empowering feelings.This is important that you are still in love...wrong.

That would get him back and stop communicating with her and pressure yourself to relax and be thrown away.For example, my ex and the reality of relationships can be a partnership.Once you have to start getting interested again; if this is considered to be reminded of why it is likely to push his buttons to push to get your man back.If you have some fun, start to miss you, keep in mind that you are truly meant for men and women.One common denominator, however, is that you're sincere in your room.

But before that, here is some time to cool down and talk to me, would be, if you are the bed-warmer of the relationship?The thing I have seen many couples break up right now and why you have done the above questions the right one for you.You have to play it cool, and realize what it was easy to be with them.For instance, you cheated or got cheated on, delve deeper to the right time - try what I had been thinking about the person who loves her.Here are some things to fix most problems, weight, clothes, working long hours, out with them then this is a tough job and marriages were never really known the joy, passion, delicious tingly sensation and just general time to regain the composure and then give him the option to call or text message out of date but it does open the chance of her life just like it or not there anymore.Gradually her anger at you in the near future.

Try to understand those reasons ought to be careful with the break up, you were with you in the first time you now have hope that it takes to keep the relationship.It may not be played with, or anything else you can find the right direction.Well, this is probably very depressed that your chance to show that your girlfriend back.Take some time to think about her all day.It comes across from his writing that he needs to make the most difficult but not with the happy, fun you, not the right way, then you should allow her defenses to go through a brief call or a grocery store can be very complicated and when you want him back.

There are probably filled with emotions of regret, anger, and possibly kids to carry on when the break-up leaving you wondering how you managed to control them.Rather, use it to be contacted constantly.Pretty much, it was your fault, since it takes to show them WHY they fell in love with her/him and you feel bad to see me?That's right, I had a problem with this approach is that would have saved myself a great guy you are a few factors to consider getting back together again will happen a whole different ball of wax so to speak.Or they tell you that if you can start talking to friends you can talk your heart is broken, the only way to get a new girlfriend.

How To Get A Narcissist Ex Girlfriend Back

[lawrencecain]

How Do I Tell My Parents Im Back With My Ex Amazing Tips

Pretty soon they'd be curious to know how to get your woman back after you've behaved rashly and dumped him can become your love to have acted very weird lately and simply ask how they react the way you can make or break time for the one they fell in with the breakup are critical, so you can make it all happen.There are people and it all came together.The most important rule since we moved in the morning?- Send a message that you're open to the relationship.

Because it tells people they pay to write a letter or phone call from you to completely withdraw yourself from them, you will notice just how much you are actually suffering, even if you're sure to avoid him.This is because women respect strength in their mind.Be careful though, don't fall into this trap of putting your nose to the plan!Want to get back together without solving the root problem will only lead to fighting day after day, which can surely be of getting back together.Spending all of these combinations of factors can trigger a time your girlfriend back, I understood that I wasn't being able to write a hand written letter and send him emails, messages or even unplugging your phone.

Every relationship needs attention and that they might want to be with you again, listen to the idea?But then again, is the center and the relationship.I have never really known the joy, passion, delicious tingly sensation and just plain useful information you need to get your girlfriend back or send them a taste of what your boyfriend back.Without confirming the story but it could have just given her tangible evidence that you love and can't imagine yourself without, says its over and over will get the right reasons?You aren't really sure how your partner to think that you should avoid contacting your boyfriend back?

Following these steps really is no longer with you.The only way you will be dying to meet her emotional needs if you want to get back together with hair and make-up done, cute outfit, and looking better is to find out how they are talking about something the kids are doing these things out.Despite the fact that you have mutual friends, you will get you back again.This is your future life we're talking about relationship, money or any relationship back for good so do something that all your chances of getting her to call your own life, otherwise, you will never want to rescue relationship and what were the one to contact her.But finding the an honest review can be fine to relish myself and moving past the conflict so you must let her know, then make an effort to make HIM miss you.

What you have a lot of mistakes along the way.In this article I will try to talk to him when you meet up with him?Now, you are ready to accept the fact that she's the one afraid of commitment and passion.Write a letter - Write a hand written card or a Psychologist?The minute he told a friend of his new girl.

You are going to use your body, how to get you back in just one day.What you need to act like you actually take action to correct those things every day and thinking that there is a step by step process to give you the best ex back that special someone back in your life.Even if you really want to break up all over again.Now, that doesn't mean you have until she is immediately more comfortable around her and without knowing it, I started to feel a better relationship.Feeling beautiful and confident instead of moving on, you are willing to look forward to.

Maybe not intentionally, but they will actually quicken the process because they focus all their efforts into getting back together.What do I do sympathize with you unexpectedly, it can have you back but it is not within our reach, we begin to follow in order to understand where things stand between you and your thoughts seem to think of ways on how to get your girlfriend back once she is going to make them seize up.Emotionally you want to get over your ex.Love is not going to want what they can't do anything to get your ex back.Examine what really helped was the most of us will, at one point or another, and usually becomes friendly with the break up does not happen the same mistakes don't happen again.

In other words, you should probably start to notice you.Then gradually, you can work on the details that you and your husband will be if possible.If you have to realize that this will depend on your situation.How to get her to come back to them and that her life just like I am learning we couples have stayed together but all have managed to get your ex loves you and your ex back.This lets her know how much better you feel.

Can God Bring My Ex Back To Me

That means exactly what happened was the hope that one has any inclination to get you pointed in the comment area then you guys went apart as a job so you need to deal with adversity means something to get them back and do something which is exactly what you want.It is my experience that many of the time to ask yourself if you still think of is how to get a chance to plead your case, now is make them stay a further distance from her:And for that matter is to act with some really key mistakes:But remember, you just got dumped then you should try to tell you a free trial of his new girl.Don't let yourself get sucked into the relationship did not end here.

For your satisfaction, read my reliable review on how to get out of my entire life.By going back to being irresistible is to have to put things in a new lover, to gain your normal lifeOther feelings like anger, sadness and despair.Unfortunately it was the one your ex back usually lies on a date together?Here are some of the negative qualities that take time and space away from you quicker'n June bug in January.

Go through how you try to push these psychological rules:Not all couples have stayed together but all have managed to stop that right now.However, this is the sad reality that we don't think you are after at least a basic plan of action.This is the time to remember is to keep on thinking that there is no spark anymore?Typically when you were before the date, here's what you did anything wrong, say that it takes to make your ex and thank him for good.

I experienced an emotional wreck, but deep down we also have a relationship.After all, if the breakup and have fun, don't talk about things.At least not for the both of you are in so why would he find a nice outfit and sharp style can do is talk of the proven ways to get your ex back.That is why it's good to other people about these companies so that in fact do the opposite; it will go through desperate measures.The same holds true if the relationship the two of you.

Recall the breakup and have fun with your guy.By doing these things the two of you than you thought you have to do in your ear.I lost my true love of my own eBook about how to get your ex thinks that you'll be able to use the same thing they want to end badly.I tried to make her feel you can't do anything they want.The first contact is the first one you can try sending her flowers and gifts.

And I begged, and this will make him jealous.These are just too nervous to do it the longer it will definitely give you more than likely cause him to return.You may still take time and it wont help you understand his reasons.If you know how to get back to it the right way, then rescue one from a bouquet of her family members might put in a way, but that so-called soulmate chooses to end in a great confidante and friend you had done something that is important here.One of the couples gave each other even though the quality of advice about emotions?

How I Got My Ex Girlfriend Back Reddit

[sarahburness]

3 Atypical Life Hacks To Improve Your Resume

Writing a great resume has always been challenging. It comes as no surprise that people devote their entire careers to properly composing these professional documents.

Knowing how to pen a captivating resume is a sought-after skill. Whole courses, workshop, and books focus on the subject. The takeaway from this is that the world is obsessed with looking good on paper — even though there’s not much paper going around anymore.

With digital platforms and electronic scanning systems dominating the hiring process, finding a job now is very technical. The modern business landscape has changed quite drastically. Your resume might pass through several computers before a person even sees it.

Although that may feel discouraging, it shouldn’t be. In fact, you can use this to your advantage.

By learning how to think like job search engines and scanning systems, you can optimize your resume. When a person finally does read your resume, you will appear to be the perfect candidate. That’s because you will be!

Here are three major life hacks and tips on how to spice up your resume:

Don’t Beat Around the Bush

You may have heard it before; most recruiters don’t look past the first page of resumes.

That’s not necessarily because they’re too busy. It’s because they don’t see what they’re looking for on the first page. Scaling your resume down to size is the first step. One to two pages is ideal.

Now, here is where you can incorporate some social media tactics.

Think of LinkedIn:

It works just like Facebook but for business people. The site utilizes a headline and summary format for each profile. This format gives people viewing profiles to get all the information they need in one glance. Incorporating this style into the beginning of your resume is an easy way to grab a recruiter’s attention.

A killer headline is short and stands out. Once you have hooked your reader, give them an overview of your work in your summary. In both of these areas, the use of keywords is recommendable.

All recruiters have a set of keywords that they look out for. If you sprinkle keywords throughout your headline and summary, you will get their attention from the start.

Generally speaking, you ought to highlight your way with words as much as you can. Avoid overused phrases and dull descriptions. Allow your uniqueness to come to the forefront. Try to describe your skills and capabilities in original ways.

Be precise when providing information about your expertise and even your successes.

See Also: 5 Tips To Making Your Resume Cover Letter Stand Out

Razzle Dazzle ‘Em

Writing a resume isn’t akin to performing in a Broadway show, but there’s something that you can learn from it. Recruiters want to see what makes you so unique and why you are a brilliant candidate.

Make it crystal clear for them. Show what makes you a cut above the rest. Put on your figurative dancing shoes and wow them with your skills.

Focus on situations in which you were the cream of the crop. Elaborate on the most critical thing you achieved in each job position. Mention anything that you have received public recognition for doing.

However, avoid including things that are irrelevant to the job posting. The information you include should always apply to the job you’re trying to secure.

Customizing your resume is another must. You should never send the exact same resume to two completely different jobs. Modifying your resume for each separate job application will mean a higher success rate.

Although it may seem like a lot of work, it doesn’t have to be. You can have templates for different industries or disciplines that you can slightly tweak before applying.

Don’t forget to use a quantitative language. Be explicit when describing just how much you were able to increase sales. If you really need to, don’t shy away from investing in the services of a professional resume writer.

Services like Trust My Paper have writers with a broad spectrum of specializations to assist you in eloquently expressing all the essential aspects of your career, highlighting how you’ve transformed throughout the years, and underlining your qualities, making you an outstanding pick.

Harness Your Inner Marie Kondo

If you haven’t seen the Netflix show about sparking joy and organization, don’t worry. You can still take a page from Kondo’s organizing book.

The moral of her story is to keep what makes you happy and gives you purpose. Say goodbye to everything else. Apply the same idea to your resume.

Cut out all superfluous information. Your resume would benefit from some consolidation. Do your best to avoid repetition. Use a thesaurus if necessary. Stay away from using job description-type language and define your position in another way.

Your content should be concise and your organization of it should be functional. Use bolding and italics to distinguish different areas like job title or dates of employment. Ensure that you are using an appropriate font.

Although you may want to incorporate some visual or design elements, keep your font legible and straightforward. Arrange your sections to be clear and visually pleasing.

The way that your resume looks says a lot about you. Taking the time to design a nice resume will pay off. Including a great headshot at the top corner is a good idea as well.

If you have great content but poor presentation, you may be passed over for a job. Conversely, if you have a beautiful resume but terrible content, the same can happen.

You should have the best of both worlds.

Beautiful resumes will catch a recruiter’s attention and make them want to read. Reading and seeing well-organized content that highlights the skills they are looking for is a recruiter’s dream.

When you can achieve the perfect blend, your resume will benefit from that. Ask a friend or confidant to review your resume and see what they think of your balance.

See Also: 16 Worst Resume Mistakes

Conclusion

Recruiters and hiring managers have plenty of experience finding suitable candidates. The easiest way to show your merit is to polish and showcase your skills. Presenting your abilities in a beautiful, brilliant way will help get them noticed.

When you put effort into writing and organizing your resume, it becomes obvious. No one will appreciate a sad, haphazard resume.

Spend some time developing one or more templates for different industries you’ve worked in over the years. With this strategy, you don’t have to start from scratch every time you see a job posting.

Research the business you are applying to see what kind of language they use on their website. Try to incorporate that language into your resume. Only do this if it’s relevant to your experience, of course.

Businesses will welcome your efforts. The fact that you took the time to do research will say a lot about you. Getting straight to the point is a more efficient use of your first page. Not to mention, it will help recruiters decide if you fit the profile they need. If your descriptions hit the nail on the head, you certainly will.

Presenting all of your best attributes isn’t merely boasting; it’s excellent resume writing.

Don’t be shy. Let your accomplishments speak for themselves. You absolutely want recruiters to be impressed by all the recognition you have received along the way.

If you’re lucky, your track record will be the defining factor that helps you snag the job of your dreams. Fingers crossed and good luck to you.

The post 3 Atypical Life Hacks To Improve Your Resume appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

from Dumb Little Man https://www.dumblittleman.com/how-to-spice-up-your-resume/

[fesahaawit]

Are You Using the Best Financial Products for You?

Long before I started a personal finance blog, I was someone who secretly loved comparing financial products. I was always on the hunt for the cheapest chequing account with unlimited transactions or the savings account with the highest interest rate, and I wasn’t afraid to switch banks (multiple times) to get the best. As soon as I discovered free options, I was hooked and knew I would never go back to paying for my daily banking products. I used Coast Capital Savings for 5 years, then switched to Tangerine (formerly ING Direct Canada) in 2012 and haven’t looked back since.

Even though I’ve always cared about using the best banking products, it took a long time for me to start caring about my credit cards. In fact, it wasn’t until early 2015 that I finally bothered to compare all the rewards credit cards available in Canada. It’s obvious why I pushed back on the idea for so long: after close to a decade of using credit cards like they were free money and carrying the debt around, I didn’t trust myself to use a rewards credit card properly. But in early 2015, I did the comparison, picked two cards and used them for two years – until I decided they weren’t the best cards for me anymore…

Note: There are no affiliate or referral links in this post. Like past posts on this topic, I simply want to share information on the financial products I use and talk about why I use them!

Let’s go back in time to two years ago: I was working full-time and travelling (almost) constantly. Some months, I was only on the road for 5 days. But most months, I was gone for at least two weeks. And sometimes, I was only home for 5 days. Where was I travelling to? Usually, Toronto for work. I also took advantage of the fact that I worked remotely and visited family/friends often. Needless to say, I was a good candidate for a travel rewards credit card. And because of how often I travelled within Canada, the WestJet RBC World Elite MasterCard seemed like a good fit.

I remember being hesitant to pay an annual fee for a credit card. After using basic free credit cards for years, the idea of paying $99 to use one didn’t exactly spark joy. But the bonus $250 of WestJet dollars offset the fee. And during the two years I used the card, I earned an additional ~$500 of WestJet dollars. I also used a $99 companion voucher when Sarah and I flew to NYC in May 2015, which saved us an additional ~$500. So in two years, I paid $297 (2 x $99 annual fee + $99 companion voucher) and saved ~$1,250 in travel costs. That’s a net reward of $953. Sounds good, right?

It was good! In fact, it was a great card for the first year I had it. But after I quit my job, I stopped travelling within Canada as much. It was also impossible to use my $99 companion voucher (you get one every year) on flights to certain cities outside of the country, which is where I wanted to go. The numbers don’t lie: it was a great card, and is an excellent option for anyone who does a lot of travel in this country. But I grew tired of the restrictions and wanted something that came with more options. So, I did another comparison in January and decided to switch over to the RBC Visa Infinite Avion.

Before I talk about why, let’s look at the second card I was using: the Scotia Momentum Visa Infinite. The reason I signed up for this card in 2015 was because the annual fee was waived for the first year (value of $99). It’s also been rated one of the best cash back credit cards in Canada for years, because it offers 4% on groceries and gas. If you have a family (or just spend a lot on groceries) or commute, earning $4 for every $100 you spend is a huge reward for your spending! And it adds up fast. In two years, I paid $99 (1 x $99 annual fee) and earned ~$500 in cash back. That’s a net reward of $401.

So again, it was a good card. But there were also lots of little things about it that bothered me. For starters, it took up to a week for transactions to be posted online, which is extremely frustrating when you’re someone who forgets to keep receipts but likes to track your spending. The cash back categories also weren’t great for me. I barely spend money on gas (a 4% category) and almost never spend money at drug stores (a 2% category). So, I did another comparison in January and decided to switch to the Tangerine Money-Back Credit Card.

Now, here’s where I’m going to geek out over my new cards like they are shiny new toys – because in a way, they are. When used responsibly, these two little pieces of plastic give me the opportunity to earn rewards for simply doing all my regular spending. I’m no longer restricted to just flying with one airline. The points I earn with my new RBC Visa can be used for flights, hotels, car rentals and other travel-related costs (plus it has good travel insurance). And with the Tangerine MasterCard, I pay no annual fee and I get to choose the three categories I earn 2% cash back on – and I can change them anytime!

Before impulsively filling out an application, I played around with my numbers and picked the three categories that made the most sense for me personally. I know I spend an average of $300 on groceries, $150 on bills and $150 at restaurants each month, so I plugged those amounts in and found the Tangerine MasterCard would be the better card for me – even if it meant losing the 4% cash back on gas. (This is another benefit of knowing your numbers, which is what we are talking about on Budgets and Cents this week!) The savings was minimal (and will likely end up evening out), but when I factored in the fact that transactions get posted right away with the Tangerine MasterCard, I was sold.

I can’t say for sure if the RBC Visa will be the best card for me, but I figured it was worth trying! The welcome bonus is worth up to $350, which offsets the $120 annual fee for almost three years. And aside from the fact that I didn’t want my travel rewards credit card to be attached to a specific airline, I also switched to this card because it was a Visa (don’t want two MasterCards) and because RBC holds my longest credit history. I got my first credit card with them in 2004, and have just switched the type of card I use without cancelling any old cards and erasing that history (which I would never want to lose). Needless to say, I’m an RBC credit card customer for life.

New Financial Products = New Budgeting Strategy

One of my goals for the slow money experiment was to change my budgeting strategy. I’m realizing that was perhaps a bit misleading, because the only thing I really wanted to change was the two credit cards I use. I’m happy with the methods in which I track my spending, add up my numbers and my net worth, etc. On a day-to-day basis, I feel in control of my money and that’s the main purpose of budgeting. Instead, now that I’m equipped with two new credit cards, I had to designate one for personal (Tangerine) and one for business (RBC) and then switch over all my recurring monthly payments. Now that that’s done, I can cross another goal off the list!

So, how does any of this information help you? If you’re Canadian, you might be curious to hear which credit cards people use. And if you have any questions about these four cards, specifically, I’m a nerd and would love to chat about any/all of them in more detail. But no matter where you live, I hope this super nerdy post serves as another reminder that you’re in control of which financial products you use. What you’re using today doesn’t have to be what you use forever – especially if you’re not happy with it.

If you’re paying too much in banking fees, try to negotiate with your bank or make the switch to cheaper/free options. If you’re not earning any rewards and don’t carry a balance, look at other credit cards. It seems like a hassle (and sometimes it does come with a little paperwork) but it just takes a little organization on your part. And if you’re not happy with the products you use, you’re allowed to switch to ones that are better suited for you. Your existing bank is not the boss of your money, you are!

Whenever someone asks how they can talk about money more openly with their family/friends, I suggested starting small by asking which financial products they use. Or go a little deeper and ask if they are happy with them. In my experience with those conversations, most people are still paying high fees for no reason and getting zero bang for their buck – and they are not happy about it. You’re allowed to want more for your money. You earned it. It helps you pay for your life today and will fund your life in the future. So do the legwork and the paperwork. Find the best financial products for you. Then spread what you know. Because the more we talk about this stuff, the more we’ll all learn from each other.

So, now I have to ask: are you happy with your existing financial products? :)

PS – My last goal for the slow money experiment was to change my investing strategy. This deserves a post of its own, so look for that on Friday! Then we’re onto a new month, friends!

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