-`. baldur’s gate has my psyche and soul at the moment so in honor of that and the dearest (un)holy trinity i thought it would be cute to do a change as it’s been a bit!
I never use this blog because the eddsworld fandom is genuinely the only fandom I've been completely fucking miserable trying to engage with. It's full of trans people and yet the community is SO hostile towards non-afab or non masc aligned in some way trans people. I've had people blatantly refused to respect my pronouns after saying they would. I've been misgendered in a server full of trans people where literally no one else was misgendered because there were pronoun roles. In that same server, while I was uplifting trans people making jokes about being proud of their bodies, they made fun of me for not having breasts. I've had multiple people debate my boundaries like it's a topic of discussion because I asked not to be called dude, a GENDERED TERM. I've had people gang up on me to the point of tears because I dared to describe my experiences being raised with an unconventional relationship to gender. I've been accused of holding grudges and being aggressive for even daring to speak up when I'm tired of being treated this way
And these events don't refer to a bunch of random assholes, they refer to people well known in the fandom. People I've seen on multiple servers. People whose names you say and it gets recognized
The eddsworld fandom has a HUGE transmisogyny problem and it needs to be discussed. The way I constantly feel unsafe when in a fandom surrounded by trans people is completely unacceptable
i've been wanting to commission someone to make a pfp for here, that uses the hat in my current one
cause rn it's fkn boring and beige and not very visually intrestin - and u can't even read the fkn text that makes it worth! (it's a pic of a yellow beige cap (the hat) w the text "ask me about my lobotomy" on it)
idea's to like make it pretty and faggy and me, and Also makes the text any at all readable lol.
but commissioning is hard! you gotta have like a fkn good proposal and have references, and know what you want and able to word that shit - and most often i just struggle w that.
but this time i have a concept (more than what i wrote) but like,,, i don't wanna be roughin it on an artist. i want to be a GOOD commissioner and until i got d girl't balls to do that i am gonna pass.
Sometimes as a way to placate my internal blogger and panopticon mindset I’ll be experiencing a Situation and then imagine posting on tumblr about that Situation. Then, picking up from there, using people’s imagined responses to go spiraling to the most absurd, unrealistic chain of events possible. My brain juice tumblr will subsume you all. Fools. Just you wait. In my fictional world weirdo bloggers have already overthrown canadian democracy.
Never not be funny to me that I finally caved in after years of lurking and made a tumblr account just to be a half life and Deltarune page but then like the next few days after I got so insanely into ultrakill and I basically only post about it here
sometimes i wonder if my total hatred of Thing is like petty or unjustified. and then i remember 1 it looks like that 2 th fans r annoying 3 creators a freak and im like hmm no im right.
I just revived my old iPod touch that I haven’t used since ~2013 after believing it to be dead dead for years and oh my god it’s like opening up an old time capsule. There are photos of me and my friends that I haven’t seen in years, taken in an old high school building that doesn’t exist anymore. I have games that are no longer downloadable on the app store. It’s running iOS 5 with the original skeuomorphism app icons. I still have the youtube app. My contacts app is full of maiden names and deadnames. The music app has songs I haven’t heard in almost a decade but still remember all the lyrics to. A daily alarm set for 5:30 AM (god I can’t believe I had to wake up that early in high school) and another set to 11:11 PM to remind me to make a wish. Reminders to finish homework assignments, or to write my application essay for the university I ended up attending, and one marking the release date for the final episode of Cabin Pressure. The last thing I googled was “how to draw people hugging”.
Possibly the strangest thing is that the tumblr app still opens, but it’s stuck in a permanent snapshot of 2013 where it won’t show me any new posts no matter how many times I refresh. My dash is full of old BBC Sherlock posts from long-lost mutuals who have either since deactivated or got unfollowed or changed urls so many times that I don’t even recognize them. Lady Gaga and Game of Thrones are the top trends. My profile shows my previous url and icon, with only 43 followers. I feel like a time traveler