#it felt like a cult

[millerflintstone]

One year ago today I put in my notice at the last corporate job I held, which was a large auto manufacturing company. It was a mess. I got hired in as a support database developer working on special projects and then on my 78th day they had a reorganization that changed my job function.

I specifically asked in my interview if there were other database developers because I didn't want to be the only one (yes) and if I would have to be on call for anything (no). That changed. I went from having 2 other people to help to no one. I hadn't even been there a full 3 months. Barely knew the code base and was expected to be able to solve any database related code issues for 3 separate internal web applications related to dealers that were a big deal. My boss asked another department if they could loan out their database developer as needed since he "had to work of three database developers and just one database developer". That manager said sure, but he owed her an ice cream sundae.

I was so fucking disgusted, among other things.

While the pay was nice, it wasn't 3 database developers worth of pay. Not even on a low end of 75K per developer, and it wasn't like they were going to revise my pay. I was also expected to be in charge of a whole nother application and be on call for it / be the Subject Matter Expert and I was also supposed to train the junior JAVA developers on how to be database developers to "help me out"

In my last one on one with my boss, I mentioned that this was no longer the job I interviewed for and he kind of laughed and said, "Yeah". I had also mentioned that I had some type of work PTSD from my past job and at first that also struck him as funny but he regrouped and attempted to be empathetic. This sounds like he was malicious but he seemed more completely clueless and awkward. Though I did get the sense that he was passive aggressive and held grudges based on some other things I observed. It was not good.

So, after talking with Unfriendly about it and our finances, I quit. Whatever fucked up cost cutting that was going to get higher ups a nice bonus surely did not affect me in the slightest. It went from being a nice place to land and get my bearings after healthcare health plan hell to just more shit.

I was disappointed because the gal who referred me really loved working there. She had wanted me to work there but at the time, their only office was in the heart of Atlanta. Later on that changed and she had gotten promoted to management herself. She was either too blind / part of the problem or she knew the shit show that was coming. We weren't close or anything. Just LinkedIn friends at that point, though we had bonded over the crap job we worked at together my first year in GA.

Today I learned that my supervisor on the team I was supporting in AZ got affected as part of layoffs that affected everyone who worked in that location. She was really nice and I could tell from her facial expressions in meetings that she was not on board with how their reorg negatively affected me. She and her team were really gracious about me leaving and they all gave me compliments and online rewards which I cashed out when I left. I hope she finds something that doesn't stress her out like this company did.

I re-read the day to day journal that's in my drafts that started the day I decided I was going to quit through my last day and I do not regret my decision at all.

[catholicjinx]

i got sung happy birthday today and it was the scariest moment in my life I was surrounded by people singing to me

[lazylittledragon]

hi i'm unw el l

[obsob]

muse :3

✹prints shop!✹

[donutfloats]

I love the idea that the title of God in cotl is gender neutral

Especially for Heket, I love that even tho she’s the only woman of the bishops, she’s referred to as a God instead of a Goddess

Idk I just really love Heket, she’s got the deepest voice, she’s physically the biggest when she transforms

It would have been so easy for the devs to have made her a guy, but no, they wanted her specifically to be a woman and to have all these traits

God I love her so much

[aychama]

Have you ever animated before?

Kind of? (Just some small gifs I don’t even know if I can call these animation)

[0zymand1as]

I did it again, if @konjkitkatty has no commissioners then I’m daed

I’m going insane in public bc of this RAHHHHH

[alllgator-blood]

I have ten billion WIP sketches I need to finish, but for some reason I stayed up from 9 PM to 4 AM conceptualizing, making patterns, sewing, painting and applying makeup on this stupid fucking felt squid......the detailing needs to be cleaned up cause there's only one coat of paint so far, but he's pretty much done

my neighbors probably think I'm insane because I was running around the yard clenching this toy kallamar in a death grip and flying him around like an airplane/putting him in the barbecue/poking him with a stick. I want to tie him to a string and recreate the opening of napoleon dynamite >:) ALSO I MADE HIM SMOKE OUT OF A STUPID CRYSTAL PIPE BUT PLEASE DON'T ACTUALLY USE THOSE, THEY ARE SUPER TOXIC LMAO MINE IS FOR DECORATION

I don't have any process pics because I had tunnel vision autism style and forgot the rest of the universe existed while I was working on him. BUT if you're curious I'll ramble below the cut

Okay I am not a seamstress by any means. I've sewn my entire life but very, very infrequently. I've done plushies, clothes, cosplays, fursuits, accessories, etc. but I only do one like once a year, so while I planned to make all 5 bishops, I'm not really sure I'll get them all done. The material cost was like 20 bucks tops so I'm not too upset if I don't finish them. I AT LEAST WANT TO GET SHAMURA OR HEKET DONE.

here is the concept sketch ft. heket's toes and shamura's fingers. I decided to do his pre-schism version so I could fit him with jewelry! I did him first because like I said I sew infrequently and don't know wtf I'm doing, everyone else seemed a lot more complicated.

So I basically just traced this drawing on a printer paper-sized canvas in SAI, and guesstimated how everything would look in a 3D space. His head is four pieces, one triangle identical to the one in the picture, two wide triangles that are sewn together in the back, and a circle for his chin. You can't really see it in any of the pics but he's literally like a black cylindrical stick with little tentacles sewn on where his mantle connects to his cloak. The leg tentacles are one piece of felt that look like tassels, where they're connected by a rectangle but branch off into individual pieces. He can't stand up very well, so his cape keeps him up (that's gonna be an issue for every other bishop too except heket cause she's gonna be ROUND). Mostly everything like the crown, cloak, head, etc. are cones so I just had to make a lot of wide triangles.

For the details, I just used acrylic paint that was watered down so he's not especially crunchy, and for the blush tone I used a makeup palette my mom bought me 10 years ago in hopes I'd get in touch with my "feminine side", but I grew up into a nonbinary butch lesbian so OOPS. Kallamar looks better with makeup than me anyway. I'm kinda sad I couldn't get his freckles as lopsided as I draw them but it probably looks better in plush form to have them even anyway....

I could just post the pattern so I don't have to explain this but 1. I am mentally ill about the thought of my kallamar being in someone else's house and 2. the original pattern had to be tweaked while I was working on him so the final pattern straight up doesn't exist, I winged it the whole time

OH and the jewelry is just scrap pieces I had laying around, I might repaint it all to be gold instead of silver + bronze. I used 20g aluminum wire for his armlet thing, jumper rings for his earrings + ring (+ a diamond dot from my mom's kits for the gem) and chain for the bracelet. I made him an amulet as well but it felt like overkill so I took it off. I'm probably gonna make him a plague doctor mask and medicine bag sometime because I think about nurse kallamar more than I probably should :') I've already sewn one as a prop for a toy raven before so it shouldn't be too hard

[thatsocialmoth]

I will never stop this

Every season I have to make a post about how indescribable D20 related grief is.

There is such a wildness to it where I feel my heart like sinking as I process it all. And like you find these beautiful stories about cycles, about loss and love and the things we do for secrets and for the things we love and the things we want. The sacrifices we're willing to make. The way war and death and grief takes people apart piece by piece and never rebuilds them. The way we are changed when we're left behind in a world without someone we thought we'd have forever. The feeling of finally having something to want, something that's yours, that's solid and something that's beginning only to have it ripped out from beneath you. The people we turn into when there is nothing to do but to run. The way fear and trauma and torment can make a person do things they wouldn't otherwise, how they influence decisions and desires and how freedom becomes a blessed commodity. The way we find that people need each other but sometimes they just can't. The way ambition blinds and ruins. The way the people who are gone leave ripples in their wake, something new as they die, something blooming from their decaying.

Like there's this deep story about the cyclical nature of the world and the way it's all so unforgiving. A narrative about how life finds a way, among the struggles of a girl who should be dead growing up too quick in a war and learning to want instead of just need. A plot about a man who loses everything trying to find something to prove that there is a purpose to his torment, that he can be saved.

And it's beautiful

And then you have to explain to your friends that you're crying because the radish grandpa and the chili pepper satanist died.

Like how the fuck am I meant to explain the profound grief of a mango? Or the way that ambition has absolutely crushed a pastrami sandwich who, even more than greatness, seemed to want love. The way greasy provolone cheese tells a story of regret and atoning for one's mistakes.

[payasita]

cat bones

baddabing badaboom

flats

[onocringe]

[hydrxnessa]

cult of the lamb doodles

[barbieaiden]

when you're the main character's little brother and doomed by the narrative because the author decided that the cult trauma wasn't enough. rip aaron

[ahsgirlblogger]

[fa3tality]

wow it's been awhile

anyway

[just-null]

Just curious, have you read a Noritoshi x reader fanfic on Quotev titled Body is one, mind is a million?? It is SO. GOOD. SO. GOOD.

^^^real image of me reading that fic in every chapter

Anon, I need to make out with you rn. Why was this gem hidden from me. Tysm for telling me about this, i will think of nothing else.

heres the link if you want to read it for yourself!

[my rabid ramblings and fanboying under the cut]

FORGIVE ME FOR THE PERSON ILL BECOME ONCE I FINISH READING THIS ALL. IM GONNA TRY SO HARD NOT TO MAKE THIS MY PERSONALITY.

I read the first chapter and intro, and I'm already hooked. Stoic and PINING NORITOSHI??? + TEASING GN READER?????????? I COULD FEEL THE PINING FIRST CHAP IN IM FUCKING DONE.

dude, you have no idea how badly I needed this in my veins. it's so tough finding fics that I like, and this one is so //PUNCHES MYSELF.. man if i tweak how i write for Noritoshi bc of this fic, i'll die. tysm to the writers out there.

IM GONNA GO DELUSIONAL BRO OH MY GOD AFJEK the way Kuzure (the author) wrote Noritoshi to be annoyed by you but grow to love you. its. ITS MY FAVORITE TROPE.. kuzure........ i have to add you to the wall of heros..